Guatemala

This article needs a serious clean up Somebody should do something about it.

WARNING: With Spics, Do not mix!

Oh dear, reader: Do you want to know what is Guatemala? Well, Guatemala (AKA:Mexico's right testicle) is a small country in central America, bordered by principally Mexico and bordered also by Honduras, El Salvador and belize. This country has sea access to the Caribbean and the Pacific Ocean. It size, is 108.888 km², being a 21.55% the size of Spain, their colonizers back in the day. Guatemala, back in the day was a Mayan territory, meaning that they sacrificed kids for rituals for their nasty gods before 1500s, when aryan spaniards, like Hernan Cortes, began their colonization, after they watched horro rituals and spaniards began stealing minerals for every kid who got "sacrificed" with the excuse of "making the population more white and european". Guatemalan chicks, compared to any central american country, were too ugly (Bolvians and Peruvians were way more ugly) and they did not keep their promise, so spaniards colonized a bit more of the lands, christianized the colonies, including Guatemala, make them more civilized and slaved some of the responsibles of those insane rituals until the independence of Central America from the Spanish empire, and lately, Guatemala gained independence from spic Yugoslavia.

Guatemala be like:

A normal day in Guatemala, burning criminals

Guatemala, as you think, is a spic country, meaning that its in latin america, and not europe and has a very similar culture to his neighbour Mexico. Guatemala has the Tikal, El Mirador and Uaxactún maya pyramids, and they were the original inventors of Tamales and they also invented the mascot clown Ronald McDonald. Guatemalan people are one of the shortest in the world, being the average of a man 5.3 ft. (160 cm) and a woman 4.11 ft. (149 cm) having the 4th shortest population in the world. Guatemalans are also known for its high crime rate, because gangsters and cartels are the common dish of every Guatemala day and what they do to them? Burnt or bat them to death if they are armed with melee weapons or they are just sex offenders. In conclusion, Guatemala is a rabbit hole where the only way out is by being shot, raped, stabbed, burnt or killed. Guatemala typical food is the same as mexico, with tacos, burritos and enchiladas. Guatemala is a proof that other countries could copy their neighbours, like Colombia, New Zealand or Bangladesh and making it smaller, cheaper and in some cases more unstable.

Why the USA hates Gutemala

Elected in 1951, Guatemalan President Jacobo Árbenz launched a land reform program, Degree 900, by confiscating almost 400,000 acres of unused United Fruit (now the Chiquita brand) land for redistribution to landless peasants. At that time, “only 10% of the land was available for 90% of the population, most of who were Indians. The United Fruit Company complained to the Eisenhower administration, claiming that Guatemala’s power of eminent domain had been used to unfairly seize its land, particularly infuriating United Fruit by the fact that Árbenz was only prepared to pay the U.S. corporation the artificially low price that United Fruit had assessed its own land for tax purposes, proof of the “evils of communism". He enacted minimum wage laws that further hurt the American fruit company (Dole,Chiquita), they then cried to the president and congress that the Gutemalans were commies and so began years of genocide and war funded with your ta moneys.

Se also

• Mexico
• Spain
• Spics