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Martin Peyerl: Difference between revisions
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{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[German]] [[File:MiniflagGermany.png]]}} | {{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[German]] [[File:MiniflagGermany.png]]}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 4, injured 7}} | {{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 4, injured 7}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Top | {{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}} | {{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Single player}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}} | {{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}} | ||
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== Background == | == Background == | ||
So because we know little to jackshit about Martin, we are going to have to use information from [[Shit|Wikipedia]]. Martin was born on August 11th 1983 and lived with his parents and older sister in Bad(Ironic considering his score) Reichenhall, Germany, on some busy as fuck street. He was reported to be a gun nut, and a avid gun collector, and told classmates that he liked to go into the forest and shoot | So because we know little to jackshit about Martin, we are going to have to use information from [[Shit|Wikipedia]]. Martin was born on August 11th 1983 and lived with his parents and older sister in Bad(Ironic considering his score) Reichenhall, Germany, on some busy as fuck street. He was reported to be a gun nut, and a avid gun collector, and told classmates that he liked to go into the forest and shoot birds, and also practiced shooting guns in his garage with his dad. His dad, Rudolph, was in the army for 12 years and he was also a batshit insane gun enthusiast. But he was also frequently fired from jobs and was also a drunk and probably [[Child abuse|abused the shit out of Martin]], possibly having an impact on his mental health. A few months before Martin's chimpout, he was suspended for having [[Nazi|Nazi photos in his notebook]], what an edgelord. He also reportedly said to a classmate "completely crazy what these guys have done" referencing to the [[Columbine|Columbine gay lovers]], and that was [[School Shooting|"something we should do"]]. Classmates at der schule also said he was an [[Goth|outsider]], and a bit of a [[Bullying|loser]]. He originally planned to shoot up der schule as well but ended up just sniping his fucking kraut neighbors. | ||
== Loadout == | == Loadout == | ||
[[File:Martinpeyerlguns.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Picture of his guns]] | |||
<div align="center"> | <div align="center"> | ||
{|class="wikitable" width="40%" | {|class="wikitable" width="40%" | ||
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*'''Secondary''': | *'''Secondary''': Winchester Model 1866 | ||
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsREMINGTON870.png|70px]]</center> | |||
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*Probably old as fuck so it probably didn't do a whole lot of damage '''13~21 Damage''' | *Probably old as fuck so it probably didn't do a whole lot of damage '''13~21 Damage''' | ||
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*'''Secondary 2''': | *'''Secondary 2''': Double Barrel Shotgun | ||
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsRem870Sawed.png|70px]]</center> | <center>[[Image:GTA4IconsRem870Sawed.png|70px]]</center> | ||
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== The Lulzfest == | == The Lulzfest == | ||
On November 1 1999, not even a full year after Columbine, our hero's parents went to go pay one of his grandparents a vist, who was actually [[Death|6 feet underground]], on All Saints Day. Using this as a opportunity to break into his kraut daddy's gun | On November 1 1999, not even a full year after Columbine, our hero's parents went to go pay one of his grandparents a vist, who was actually [[Death|6 feet underground]], on All Saints Day. Using this as a opportunity to break into his kraut daddy's gun locker which was filled with [[Moar|moar]] then 10 guns, [[Newbie|only grabbing 4 of them]] And then positioning himself in his bedroom and pointing out the Mini-14 outside his window and start his attempt to get the [[High Score|high score]]. He first killed his neighbors Ruth and Horst Zillenbiller (fuckin basic kraut name lol) , then shooting and killing some anon hospital patient across the street [[Weed|who went outside to take a smoke]]. He then shot at anything that moved, injuring 7,[[Fail|including actor Günter Lamprecht!]] However, whilst he was still in the middle of attempting to achieve the high score, Martin's sister, who was a slut at the hospital, came home and tried to stop our hero from beating Eric Heimrich and Dylan Kikebold/Charles Whitman. They then get into an argument because Martin didn't know that he wasn't allowed to commit a mass shooting. However he had a fucking temper tantrum and ended this argument by shooting her 5 times. He then shoots the [[Cat|family cat]], the absolute madman! Once the carnage is over, Martin realizes hes a huge fucking embarrassment to Mein Fuhrer . Martin then got into a bathtub and emulated Kurt Cobain. | ||
== Aftermath == | == Aftermath == | ||
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<center>'''You should have taken lessons from | <center>'''You should have taken lessons from [[Éric Borel]]'''</center> | ||
<center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center> | <center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center> | ||
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* [[Germany]] | * [[Germany]] | ||
{{ | {{High Scores}} | ||
{{Germany}} | |||
{{Why is There an Article}} | |||
Revision as of 11:14, 18 November 2023
Martin Peyerl was some 16 year old kraut who tried to become Germany's version of Charles Whitman but ultimately failed
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|---|---|
| Martin Peyerl | |
| Nationality: | German 
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| Highscore | Killed 4, injured 7 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Background
So because we know little to jackshit about Martin, we are going to have to use information from Wikipedia. Martin was born on August 11th 1983 and lived with his parents and older sister in Bad(Ironic considering his score) Reichenhall, Germany, on some busy as fuck street. He was reported to be a gun nut, and a avid gun collector, and told classmates that he liked to go into the forest and shoot birds, and also practiced shooting guns in his garage with his dad. His dad, Rudolph, was in the army for 12 years and he was also a batshit insane gun enthusiast. But he was also frequently fired from jobs and was also a drunk and probably abused the shit out of Martin, possibly having an impact on his mental health. A few months before Martin's chimpout, he was suspended for having Nazi photos in his notebook, what an edgelord. He also reportedly said to a classmate "completely crazy what these guys have done" referencing to the Columbine gay lovers, and that was "something we should do". Classmates at der schule also said he was an outsider, and a bit of a loser. He originally planned to shoot up der schule as well but ended up just sniping his fucking kraut neighbors.
Loadout
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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The Lulzfest
On November 1 1999, not even a full year after Columbine, our hero's parents went to go pay one of his grandparents a vist, who was actually 6 feet underground, on All Saints Day. Using this as a opportunity to break into his kraut daddy's gun locker which was filled with moar then 10 guns, only grabbing 4 of them And then positioning himself in his bedroom and pointing out the Mini-14 outside his window and start his attempt to get the high score. He first killed his neighbors Ruth and Horst Zillenbiller (fuckin basic kraut name lol) , then shooting and killing some anon hospital patient across the street who went outside to take a smoke. He then shot at anything that moved, injuring 7,including actor Günter Lamprecht! However, whilst he was still in the middle of attempting to achieve the high score, Martin's sister, who was a slut at the hospital, came home and tried to stop our hero from beating Eric Heimrich and Dylan Kikebold/Charles Whitman. They then get into an argument because Martin didn't know that he wasn't allowed to commit a mass shooting. However he had a fucking temper tantrum and ended this argument by shooting her 5 times. He then shoots the family cat, the absolute madman! Once the carnage is over, Martin realizes hes a huge fucking embarrassment to Mein Fuhrer . Martin then got into a bathtub and emulated Kurt Cobain.
Aftermath
Police stormed the house at about 6 PM, finding both the bodies of Martin and his sister, and the family cat :( They found a swastika painted above martins bed and a portrait of Hitler in his sisters room After the shooting, politicians called for a legislation/change in gun laws, but of course, shit didn't change. Nobody knew why he committed the shooting but some thought he was inspired by Columbine, but he made no videos or journal entries like the lolumbiner's. Police also found a number of violent videos, video games, and CDs in his room but no connection between those and the shooting was made. In the end, investigators believed it was somehow connected to Martin's personality, c'mon the dude was a batshit insane gun nut Columbiner what did u excpect?
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 4/20 7 injured |
| Accuracy: | 11/20 Probably couldn't aim for shit which explains his kill/injury count |
| Style: | 20/20 Camper |
| Butthurt: | 5/20 Did call for changes in gun laws but nothing was done, plus was mostly forgotten |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Bonus for shooting a celebrity! Gave us the lulziest All Saints Day ever1!! |
| Total score: 60/100 (D-) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Vice Squad
See Also
- Sebastian Bosse - another scheitern German shooter
- Robert Steinhäuser - a German shooter who did it Recht
- Germany
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