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{{watch}}
[[Image:Lolss.jpg|thumb|right|Mike Tyson having received an [[ass]] [[pwning]] by James Douglas.]]
[[Image:Lolss.jpg|thumb|right|Mike Tyson having received an [[ass]] [[pwning]] by James Douglas.]]
[[File:Iron_mike.jpg|thumb|Iron Mike Tyson (when he was good) seen before his fight with [[ODB]]]]
[[Image:Mike-tyson-don-king.jpg|thumb|Jewing it up with Don King.]]
'''Mike Tyson''' is a sexy black guy who is known for eating people's ears and children. He first became known and hated by the general public when he KO'd some [[shit]]hole and then when he bit another [[shit]]hole's ear off. But there is more to this man than just his [[faggot|faggotry]]. For example, not many people know that he allegedly has a 14 inch [[penis]], which is 10 inches bigger than the average [[cock]] and 20 inches longer than [[Chris Forcand]]s. He has also claimed to be [[gay]] twice. His once immensely [[gay]] career was undermined by serious [[fuck|fucking]] problems, lack of [[sex]], and periods. Upon release following his first prison sentence, he made a heavily anticipated comeback, but failed to reclaim his previous dominance. On [[last thursday|June 11, 2005]], Tyson suffered a defeat to [[fat|journeyman]] [[Ireland|Kevin McBride]], and [[pwned|shortly after retired from the sport]].
'''Mike Tyson''' is a sexy black guy who is known for eating people's ears and children. He first became known and hated by the general public when he KO'd some [[shit]]hole and then when he bit another [[shit]]hole's ear off. But there is more to this man than just his [[faggot|faggotry]]. For example, not many people know that he allegedly has a 14 inch [[penis]], which is 10 inches bigger than the average [[cock]] (According to [[the Supreme Gentleman]]) and 20 inches longer than [[Chris Forcand]]s. He has also claimed to be [[gay]] twice. His once immensely [[gay]] career was undermined by serious [[fuck|fucking]] problems, lack of [[sex]], and periods. Upon release following his first prison sentence, he made a heavily anticipated comeback, but failed to reclaim his previous dominance. On [[last thursday|June 11, 2005]], Tyson suffered a defeat to [[fat|journeyman]] [[Ireland|Kevin McBride]], and [[rage quit|shortly after retired from the sport]].


Tyson was also once [http://www.youtube.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4l0ZyKmeNE&search=mike%20tyson%20interview interviewed].
Tyson was also once [http://www.youtube.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4l0ZyKmeNE&search=mike%20tyson%20interview interviewed].


==Early years==
==Early years==
Tyson was born and raised in the notorious [[New York City|Shitsville]] section of Brooklyn to parents Horny Smith Tyson and Jimmy "the Weasel cumfaced guzzler" Kirkpatrick. Like all blackmen his early childhood was marked by [[Rape|sexual deviancy]] and violence, and his mother had to fend for the entire family following the departure of his father when Tyson was two years old. As he grew up on the streets of Shitsville he would often savagely beat those who ridiculed his high-pitched, [[queer]] lisping voice. As a youth, he was constantly in trouble with the police over petty crime and thuggery. Tyson was passed in and out of juvenile detention centers, and was expelled from high school for raping the other children. He was discovered by Nobby Stewart, who noted his raw [[penis|cock size]] and apparent boxing ability (i.e hitting a stationary target well) and awesome potential for the ring (i.e. he was black and a rapist). [[Some argue|It is]] said that Mike could put craters into the earth like [[Drugs|PCP]] users but without using [[Drugs|PCP]], for, being raised on beatings and chicken wings, Tyson was a superb physical specimen. Stewart trained him for a few decades, then introduced him to the legendary [[Michael Jackson]].
Tyson was born and raised in the notorious [[New York City|Shitsville]] section of Brooklyn to parents Horny Smith Tyson and Jimmy "the Weasel cumfaced guzzler" Kirkpatrick. Like all blackmen his early childhood was marked by [[Rape|sexual deviancy]] and violence, and his mother had to fend for the entire family following the departure of his father when Tyson was two years old. As he grew up on the streets of Shitsville he would often savagely beat those who ridiculed his high-pitched, [[queer]] sounding lispy voice. As a youth, he was constantly in trouble with the police over petty crime and thuggery. Tyson was passed in and out of juvenile detention centers, and was expelled from high school for raping the other children. He was discovered by Nobby Stewart, who noted his raw [[penis|cock size]] and apparent boxing ability (i.e hitting a stationary target well) and awesome potential for the ring (i.e. he was black and a rapist). [[Some argue|It is said]] that Mike could put craters into the earth like [[Drugs|PCP]] users but without using [[Drugs|PCP]], for, being raised on beatings and chicken wings, Tyson was a superb combination of a perfect physical specimen and an emotionally shattered psychopath. Stewart trained him for a few decades, then introduced him to the legendary [[Michael Jackson]].


[[Image:herbiehide.jpg|thumb|right|Tyson in his little remembered mid-[[1990s|1990s]] Herbie Hide phase. [[Insane|Teddy Atlas]] is off-image to the right, flinging a bag of [[dildo|dildos]] at Tyson's head.]]
[[Image:herbiehide.jpg|thumb|right|Tyson in his little remembered mid-[[1990s|1990s]] Herbie Hide phase. [[Insane|Teddy Atlas]] is off-image to the right, flinging a bag of [[dildo|dildos]] at Tyson's head.]]


==Middle Years==
==Middle Years==
Mike Tyson made his professional debut on March 6, 1375, in Albany, New York, a match which he won by a first round [[rape|knockout]]. He fought frequently in his first two years as a professional, staying undefeated and winning all of his fights by murder, almost always in the first round and almost always followed by eating the fallen. His quality of opposition then gradually increased from journeyman fighters to borderline contenders, and his impressive win streak attracted much media attention, leading to his being billed as the next heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WOOORRRLD. On November 22, 2086, Tyson was given his first title shot, fighting [[Jesus]] for the United heavyweight title. Tyson won the title by second round knockout, proving that turning the other cheek is a fucking stupid thing to do in boxing, even if you are the Messiah. At the age of 20 years and 4 months Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion ever.
Mike Tyson made his professional debut on March 6, 1975, in Albany, New York, a match which he won by a first round [[rape|knockout]]. He fought frequently in his first two years as a professional, staying undefeated and winning all of his fights by murder, almost always in the first round and almost always followed by eating the fallen. His quality of opposition then gradually increased from journeyman fighters to borderline contenders, and his impressive win streak attracted much media attention, leading to his being billed as the next heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WOOORRRLD. On November 22, 2086, Tyson was given his first title shot, fighting [[Jesus]] for the United heavyweight title. Tyson won the title by second round knockout, proving that turning the other cheek is a fucking stupid thing to do in boxing, even if you are the Messiah. At the age of 20 years and 4 months Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion ever.


[[Image:Loltyson.gif|thumb|right| While this beating may seem impressive at first glance, the sad truth is that the opponent, [[Michael Jackson]], is retarded and unfit for the aggresive sport of [[faggot|wrestling]].]]
[[Image:Loltyson.gif|thumb|right| While this beating may seem impressive at first glance, the sad truth is that the opponent, [[Michael Jackson]], is retarded and unfit for the aggresive sport of [[faggot|wrestling]].]]
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It has been brought to the attention of everyone who knows about it that, [[Last Thursday]], [[Mike Tyson]] is guilty indeed of biting one Evander Holyfield's ear off. Many faggots who don't know the full story will find out here...
It has been brought to the attention of everyone who knows about it that, [[Last Thursday]], [[Mike Tyson]] is guilty indeed of biting one Evander Holyfield's ear off. Many faggots who don't know the full story will find out here...


[[Image:Earbite.jpeg|thumb|right|Hell hath no fury like a hungry black person scorned.]]
[[Image:Tysongrill.jpg|thumb|Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"]]


*Ear bite facts
*Ear bite facts
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==Tyson Quotes==
==Tyson Quotes==
[[Image:Earbite.jpeg|thumb|left|Hell hath no fury like a hungry black person scorned.]]
[[Image:Tysongrill.jpg|thumb|Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"]]
[[Image:SteveUrkel.jpg|thumb|left|The Champ while in prison]]
<youtube>hx66LWV-CCk</youtube>
"[[Michael Jackson|Lennox Lewis]], I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. [[terrorism|Praise be to Allah]]!"
"[[Michael Jackson|Lennox Lewis]], I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. [[terrorism|Praise be to Allah]]!"


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"I'll fuck you 'til you love me faggot."
"I'll fuck you 'til you love me faggot."
"Who wants some Jell-o pudding pops?"


"Listen um.......I broke my back."
"Listen um.......I broke my back."


"I'm a big strong nigger who knocks out people, and rapes people and rips off people."
"I'm a big strong nigger who knocks out people, and rapes people and rips off people."
"DYN-O-MITE!!!"


'''On Razor Ruddock'''
'''On Razor Ruddock'''
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"He was screaming like my [[lesbian]] wife."
"He was screaming like my [[lesbian]] wife."


[[image:tysonrape2.png|center|800px|border]]
"HE HATH THPOKEN! COLD THTONE!"
 
<br>
[[image:tysonrape2.png|center|frame|border|Mike coming [[Truth|clean]]...]]
 
<br>


==Daughter's Death==
==Daughter's Death==
On May 26, 2009, Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus died (I guess you could say she took an early exodus to her grave, ([[Unfunny|see what I did there?]]) when [[Murder|a treadmill cord got caught around her neck and apparently choked to death.]] Tyson's 7 year old son found the body and proceeded to take Exodus' virginity before telling his parents about the incident. The Police have ruled the death a [[bullshit|"tragic accident."]] However, it's more than likely that the police just don't want to waste good taxpayer dollars on the investigation, since [[nobody cares]] when [[Niggers|black people]] die.
On May 26, 2009, Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus died (I guess you could say she took an early exodus to her grave; [[Unfunny|see what I did there?]]) when [[Murder|a treadmill cord got caught around her neck and apparently choked to death.]] Tyson's 7 year old son found the body and proceeded to take Exodus' virginity before telling his parents about the incident. Tyson announced that in memory of his daughter he was setting up a new physical fitness charity fund in her name to help disadvantaged black families with young children to purchase exercise equipment to help get their kids in shape from an early age.
Tyson also denies that the death [[for_the_lulz|was to promote the upcoming relase of the movie "The Hangover" in which he co-starred in]].
Tyson also denies that the death [[for_the_lulz|was to promote the upcoming relase of the movie "The Hangover" in which he co-starred in]].


Line 88: Line 99:
* Tyson
* Tyson
* [[Pedobear]]
* [[Pedobear]]
* Tyson
* That guy who killed [[JonBenet Ramsey]]
* Tyson
* Tyson
* [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|Evander]]
* [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|Evander]]
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* The [[KKK]]
* The [[KKK]]
* Tyson
* Tyson
* [[Sammy Stephens|Don King]] (He owes King money.)
* [[Sammy Stephens|Don King]] (He owes King money)
* Tyson
* Tyson
* [[Kanye West]] Doesn't Care About black person.
* [[Kanye West]] Doesn't Care About black person
* Tyson
* Tyson
* [[JEWS DID WTC|JEWS DID EXODUS]]
* [[JEWS DID WTC|JEWS DID EXODUS]]
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==See also==
==See also==
[[image:Mike-Tyson BestialityLOL.jpg|thumb|[[Bestiality|Sick fuck]]!]]
*''[[Mike Tyson's Punch Out]]''
*''[[Mike Tyson's Punch Out]]''
*[[Nigger]]
*[[Rapist]]
*[[Vore]]


{{Olympics}}
{{Olympics}}
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{{Enemy}}
{{Enemy}}
[[Category:People|Tyson, Mike]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:People|Tyson, Mike]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
{{timeline|Featured article June 3rd & 4th, [[2016]]|[[LadyALT69]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Coincidence Detector]]}}

Latest revision as of 05:25, 20 May 2023

Mike Tyson having received an ass pwning by James Douglas.
Jewing it up with Don King.

Mike Tyson is a sexy black guy who is known for eating people's ears and children. He first became known and hated by the general public when he KO'd some shithole and then when he bit another shithole's ear off. But there is more to this man than just his faggotry. For example, not many people know that he allegedly has a 14 inch penis, which is 10 inches bigger than the average cock (According to the Supreme Gentleman) and 20 inches longer than Chris Forcands. He has also claimed to be gay twice. His once immensely gay career was undermined by serious fucking problems, lack of sex, and periods. Upon release following his first prison sentence, he made a heavily anticipated comeback, but failed to reclaim his previous dominance. On June 11, 2005, Tyson suffered a defeat to journeyman Kevin McBride, and shortly after retired from the sport.

Tyson was also once interviewed.

Early years

Tyson was born and raised in the notorious Shitsville section of Brooklyn to parents Horny Smith Tyson and Jimmy "the Weasel cumfaced guzzler" Kirkpatrick. Like all blackmen his early childhood was marked by sexual deviancy and violence, and his mother had to fend for the entire family following the departure of his father when Tyson was two years old. As he grew up on the streets of Shitsville he would often savagely beat those who ridiculed his high-pitched, queer sounding lispy voice. As a youth, he was constantly in trouble with the police over petty crime and thuggery. Tyson was passed in and out of juvenile detention centers, and was expelled from high school for raping the other children. He was discovered by Nobby Stewart, who noted his raw cock size and apparent boxing ability (i.e hitting a stationary target well) and awesome potential for the ring (i.e. he was black and a rapist). It is said that Mike could put craters into the earth like PCP users but without using PCP, for, being raised on beatings and chicken wings, Tyson was a superb combination of a perfect physical specimen and an emotionally shattered psychopath. Stewart trained him for a few decades, then introduced him to the legendary Michael Jackson.

Tyson in his little remembered mid-1990s Herbie Hide phase. Teddy Atlas is off-image to the right, flinging a bag of dildos at Tyson's head.

Middle Years

Mike Tyson made his professional debut on March 6, 1975, in Albany, New York, a match which he won by a first round knockout. He fought frequently in his first two years as a professional, staying undefeated and winning all of his fights by murder, almost always in the first round and almost always followed by eating the fallen. His quality of opposition then gradually increased from journeyman fighters to borderline contenders, and his impressive win streak attracted much media attention, leading to his being billed as the next heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WOOORRRLD. On November 22, 2086, Tyson was given his first title shot, fighting Jesus for the United heavyweight title. Tyson won the title by second round knockout, proving that turning the other cheek is a fucking stupid thing to do in boxing, even if you are the Messiah. At the age of 20 years and 4 months Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion ever.

While this beating may seem impressive at first glance, the sad truth is that the opponent, Michael Jackson, is retarded and unfit for the aggresive sport of wrestling.
It is delicious ear. You must eat it.

Late Years

After winning a bunch more fights by cockout, Tyson lost by cockout to James Douglas, a fag with a shit record, which proves that Tyson really can't fight for shit and is a faggot with no dick.

He has recently been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, and has had allegations, accusations, and masturbations made against him towards him being not black person. These allegations have been backed by the fact that Tyson's once-trainer Cus D'amato was a fag, and Niggas hate fags.

Ear Biting Years

It has been brought to the attention of everyone who knows about it that, Last Thursday, Mike Tyson is guilty indeed of biting one Evander Holyfield's ear off. Many faggots who don't know the full story will find out here...


  • Ear bite facts
    • Tyson partially bit Holyfield's ear in response to an alleged headbutt, but it was mostly just because he's a sick fuck.
    • Tyson is a homo, proved by his own cock size in inches.
    • Tyson didn't actually bite the full ear off, just the lobe, which is very fucking ironic because Tyson is a fucktard with no friends.
    • Tyson had recently been cocked out by Holyfield, in their previous fight, which may have been the source of Tyson's teenage angst and aggression.
    • Holyfield claims the bite didn't really hurt at all.
    • Tyson apparently did it for the lulz.
    • Tyson's gay.
    • When asked what ears tasted like, Tyson replied with his fag lisp: "sorta like fried chicken...with a little watermelon as well."

Tyson Quotes

Hell hath no fury like a hungry black person scorned.
Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
The Champ while in prison

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"God, Amen! What!?"

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

"I've been robbed of most of my money, can I at least get a blowjob?"

"I'm many things, I'm a convicted rapist, I'm a hellraiser, I'm a father, a loving father, I'm a a ya know, a semi good husband, you know what I mean? What?"

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me faggot."

"Who wants some Jell-o pudding pops?"

"Listen um.......I broke my back."

"I'm a big strong nigger who knocks out people, and rapes people and rips off people."

"DYN-O-MITE!!!"

On Razor Ruddock

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

On Tyrell Biggs

Tyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!" -(this one amused his wife, which she discovered while masturbating over pictures of Tysons pin cock)

"He was screaming like my lesbian wife."

"HE HATH THPOKEN! COLD THTONE!"


Mike coming clean...


Daughter's Death

On May 26, 2009, Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus died (I guess you could say she took an early exodus to her grave; see what I did there?) when a treadmill cord got caught around her neck and apparently choked to death. Tyson's 7 year old son found the body and proceeded to take Exodus' virginity before telling his parents about the incident. Tyson announced that in memory of his daughter he was setting up a new physical fitness charity fund in her name to help disadvantaged black families with young children to purchase exercise equipment to help get their kids in shape from an early age. Tyson also denies that the death was to promote the upcoming relase of the movie "The Hangover" in which he co-starred in.


List of suspects:

See also

Sick fuck!

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Mike Tyson is part of a series on Enemies of the Lulz
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Adorkablegrrl • Aediot • Andreaurbanfox • Anonymous • Arab • Asalieri • Bledel • Blood on the Dance Floor • Bigbadron • CopperCab • Aaron0883 • CrusaderCat • Cubby • Daniel Brandt • DynaCatlovesme • Egg_Girl • FakeSagan • Felice_Fawn • Firedarkdragon • Flardox • Freelancerraiko • Gary Freeman • Girlvinyl • Hayakain • HTS-Noob • Irish282 • Isabella Loretta Janke • JEWS DID WTC • Jaymz Mutz • João Bernardo • Jolene JRyda • K00lAIDGIRL • Kaputsky • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Provance • Kevin Rudd • Lemon Demon • LifeInATent • LifeInACamp • Livy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • M0M0ko • Maneaeve • Mariozplaze • Mars Defden • MeganLeeHeart • Megan Meier • MessyJessie • Mike Tyson • Missalyssum • MyIDIsPhat Nick Bravo • Neko • Neotomi • Onideus Mad Hatter • Onision • Peter Chimaera • Phantom409 • Psyguy • Putrid • Qix • Rangerphile • Refath0 • Retro Video Game Kids • Rootbrian • SailorMercury90 • SapphyDracases • SarahChihuahua • Sevva-Phoenix • Shane Halligan • Shaycarl • SteAndKel • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Superlisamcb • Suzi Blu • Tanja Fleischer • TheAmazingAtheist • TheArchfiend • The Beer Pong Massacre • The Great Black Dick Hoax • Theresa Sheller • Tori Belliachi • Undertakerfreak1127 • Vampire • Vampiricspektor • VelvetFlowingAura • Voice-of-Blood • WeatherManKevin • willg8686 • Wolfeedarkfang/supporters • ZEN • Zzz33333 •

Websites

4chon.net • Above Top Secret • Anarchy_Online • Ares • Blockland • Doutaini • encyclopediadramatica.wiki • Failcyclopedia • Furcadia • Furry Paws • Grass_City • Hypercube • Inkpop • Legi0n • MyWikiBiz • PlaneShift • Potterforums • SSO • Teenspot • The Anti-Twilight Movement • The YouTube Thomas Club • TwilightSucks • Wild Wolf Society • World of Darkness • Y! Japanese Anime • ZDaemon • Zetaforum • ZuuP

Methods

Press charges • Blank your article • File a lawsuit • File a DMCA • Buy a dog • Hire professionals • Ask people to help • Call the Police

End Result

Kill yourself • Hide the Evidence • Ragequit

See Also

White Knighting • Done with ED • Final solution • Free Speech

Featured article June 3rd & 4th, 2016
Preceded by
LadyALT69 		Mike Tyson Succeeded by
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