Ghost Riding

	“	If my name was “Ghost Whip,” my middle name would be “Ride The.”	„
	—Some Ghost Rider dipshit on his Ghost Rider dipshit blog.

Car Surfing becomes Ghost Riding when black people do it.

Ghost Riding at a "Hyphy."

Taking elements from hip-hop culture and car surfing, Ghost Riding is an updated form of that decades-old tradition that involves teenage boys doing retarded and drunken things with their cars once they reach the age of sixteen.

History

Patrick Swize

E-40 invented GRA (Ghost Riders Anonymous)

Car surfing originally gained wide popularity in the mid 1980s due to such movies as “Footloose” and “Teen Wolf” where characters in those movies would ride on moving cars. Because American youths are stupid and believe they are invulnerable, and also because most kids want to be movie stars, they emulated these stunts, causing several accidents and mishaps. It is because of such accidents experts believe that the fad wore out. A more likely answer is that some other idiotic fad supplanted car surfing.

During the late 1990’s the fad regained popularity due to such movies as “The Matrix” and television shows like “Jackass” where people were encouraged to hurt themselves for fame. Now, because of such songs as E-40’s “Tell Me When to Go” and Mistah F.A.B’s “Ghost Ride It” the trendy craze continues.

Sydeshows

	“	They think they're hip, they can't read; they can't write. They're laughing and giggling, and they're going nowhere.	„
	—Bill Cosby, speaking on hip-hop culture.

Sydeshows (or Sideshows) are meetings where kids get together with their parent’s cars, set up their boom boxes, play E-40 as loud as they can, and proceed to destroy as much property as is humanly possible in the shortest amount of time. At sydeshows, the goal actually seems to be to fail.

	“	Ghost ride was started not to see people succeed, but to see people fail. They want to see people run into trees, run over their foot.	„
	—Jonathan Lovecchio, noted retard and bane of his parents.

Internet Culture

	“	It has to do with rap music. That's how [the police] said it to me.	„
	—Sheldon Porochnavy’s mother after learning of his Ghost Riding death, one must wonder how much she really loved her son because she gave him the name “Sheldon.”

With the rise in popularity of such sites as YouTube, now it is possible for millions of imbeciles and morons to share their Ghost Riding videos with each other. While Ghost Riding is illegal and participants at Sydeshows can be charged with criminal behavior, these videos seem to crop up on YouTube at an alarming rate.

Because these videos are popular, owing to the fact that people like to watch other people hurt themselves, the fad has not contained itself to teenagers. There are several online accounts of people above the age of 50 Ghost Riding. How they managed to survive until their 50’s is amazing in itself, but to then tempt fate by Ghost Riding at that age, you know you are dealing with some extremely bright bulbs.

Because this hobby is considered by many to be slightly dangerous, YouTube has been pulling many Ghost Riding videos and angering the Ghost Riding community. This is probably the one time YouTube has done something right.

How To Ghost Ride

Be sure to wear your ski mask, that way you'll look dope.

Doing it wrong.

Doing it right.

Since you are reading Encyclopedia Dramatica, it is safe to assume that you are one of the following:

A)  A teenage boy

B)  Retarded

C)  Drunk/alcoholic

D)  All of the above

Since these facts have been established, it is also safe to assume that after reading this article you will want to go out and pulverize your mom’s Camry. By following these steps, it will be possible for you to do these things in short order.

1. Obtain a copy of E-40’s single “Tell Me When to Go”
2. Find your father’s car keys
3. Wait until your parents are sleeping and then remove the car from the garage
4. Slowly push the car out of the driveway so that you do not wake anybody
5. Once down the street, start the engine
6. Pick up your friends. Make sure to also pick up that creepy guy who nobody likes but has a fake I.D.
7. Go to an alcohol store. Make sure it is the one where that Iranian guy works because he doesn’t care who he sells beer to
8. Find large parking lot or street that is not busy
9. Consume as much cheap beer as possible
10. Be sure to get Hyphy
11. Start your car and make sure that the E-40 CD is in the car stereo. Max volume plz
12. Put the car in drive and allow it to cruise at idle speed
13. Once the car is moving at about 20 miles an hour, it is time to Ghost Ride. Exit the car via your door and climb on top of it. You can climb on any surface of the car
14. Run your best friend’s foot over
15. Scream “I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!!”
16. Bury the car nose-first in a storm ditch or slam it into a grocery cart corral

Once you have mastered these steps, you will be considered a champion car surfer by your friends and a complete dipshit by pretty much everybody else. One curious side effect of car surfing is that sometimes Ghost Riders (through no skill of their own) will get laid.

Accidents And Deaths

Sheldon Porochnavy died of Ghost Riding.

I can't believe 30 chicks actually tried this.

If you are going to Ghost Ride, don't do it in August.

“	Mr. Porochnavy's life came to an abrupt end recently on a stretch of highway outside Saskatoon. On his way home from a night in the city, Mr. Porochnavy fell backward from a moving vehicle, hit his head on the pavement and died later in hospital.	„
—From that dipshit’s blog.

Ghost Riding has been the cause of several deaths over the years. A quick scan on Google will net about 8 reported deaths. This number is a fabrication as most Ghost Riders are drunk when they are performing their jocular exploits. This causes police and emergency personnel to attribute the cause of death as “Alcohol Related” because with inflated alcohol related deaths, they get more tax money and stricter laws concerning driving while intoxicated. Putting “Being a dumbass” down on a death certificate will garner no tax dollars.

Legality/Awesomeness

Ghost Riding is extremely illegal, but that doesn’t stop your average dope from taking part in it. Here is one sad tale of woe and the brilliant follow up that occurred the next day:

“	Hello, My name is Greg. I Live in Lafayette Louisiana. Me and my friends love to ghost ride. So let me go to the story. So me and my friends after school went to an old vacant parking lot. There was about 40 people and 30 cars. We got in a couple of cars and started to ghost ride around the parking lot. We were there for about 45 min and before we know it there are TV cameras filming us. So we all scatter laughing our asses off. Its all good fun right? Well the Lafayette Police Dept and our school didn’t think so. Come to find out we are the headline in the news that night and again the next morning. We we get to school the dean of students calls us out of class and has a police officer waiting for us. 5 people got reckless operation tickets and numerous other were suspended! this is crazy all we are doin is trying to have a little fun. The news described "ghost riding" as putting your car on cruise control at 20 or 30 and getting out of your car and dancing on it. This has blown my mind that it turned into such a big ordeal.	„
—They raise some rocket scientists in Lafayette don’t they?

The follow up to Greg’s story is located at the following links:

• Police say dangerous driving not tolerable

• Cops bust “Ghost Riders”

Why Ghostriding Is Encouraged

As Charles Darwin once said, Natural Selection is the process of filtering out indiviual animals from the environment that do not have the necessary traits to survive, leaving only the best-adapted ones to pass on their genes and thus increase the trait's presence, allowing them to survive even better. Sometimes a species' weak ones will have certain behavioural traits that will actually help those weak individuals die or be killed, helping that gene to filter itself out of the gene pool. For example, in human society, the most intelligent ones survive and the stupid ones do not; here, the example of the mutant behavioural trait is acting moronic, guaranteeing the individual's death, and helping to filter stupidity out of the gene pool.

There are a certain subspecies of human in which this mutant "fucktard" gene can be found predominantly. The American juvenile, as mentioned above, believes himself to be invulnerable, and will instinctively try anything stupid, ensuring that he will die. Thus, the stupid ones will eventually be removed from the American gene-pool. So, car-surfing (one such example of the trait) will kill him, helping to remove one more fucktard from their gene pool.

TL; DR: If you, the reader, happen to be an American teenager, car-surfing is highly encouraged as a form of eugenics, aside from the fact that we all hate you. For the good of humanity -- and if your weight doesn't prevent you -- GET ON THE BONNET.

How To Win

How many points do you get for being placed under arrest?

The object of most games is to win and Ghost Riding is no different. Here is a handy guide for grading your Ghost Riding experience that awards or subtracts points depending on variables that occur while you are Ghosting:

11.  Being shitfaced = +15 points

10.  Acrobatics = +10 points

9.   Being Asian = -10 points

8.   Wearing Nascar jackets = -35 points

7.   Being Nascar fans = -95 points

6.   Not playing E-40 = -50 points

5.   Being Asian = -75 points

4.   Don't shake the baby.

3.   Not being on the road = -40 points

2.   Not ghost riding the whip = -1000 points

1.   "You ain't ghostriding nigga!" = +2500 points

This point system was found on a Ghost Riding blog and we at Encyclopedia Dramatica have no fucking idea what most of it means. We do, however, understand that they don't like Asians. LOL THEY SAID IT TWO TIMES!

Quotes

“   I been driving since I was 12. I know what I’m doing. Ok so I don’t have a point right now I’m just very angry and getting some stuff out.   „     —An expert... at age 12     “   Man Ghost riding the whip is sooooooooooooo cool. Wait. Nope. Please go kill yourself while you’re still ahead(?). I use ahead questionably because I'm not really sure you could get any farther behind. Please also, if you are injured while ghost riding please make sure it is fatal I don't want to pay for your disabilities. I like the artwork you posted too. Crayons are sweet.   „     —Posted by anonymous     “   I thank you for your efforts to cleanse the gene pool by working on ways to exit it.   „     —Charles Darwin     “   He further thanks you for doing this in a parking lot where the only other people who would be harmed are similarly mentally deficient morons.   „     —Charles Darwin’s friend     “   ARE YOU SHITTING ME?? get a grip here. is everyone in the south this retarded? is it because you marry your cousins? were you dropped on your head as a child? you can't even speak or write English properly. this country is going to hell in a handbasket.   „     —His next line was “Get off my lawn”     “   To all you ghost riders out there, go back to trying to break your neck and your car in real life. This game ain't for you.   „     —Gamespot’s review of the “Pimp My Ride” video game.     “   Wow, head on with a parked car. Now, I'm no Rhodes Scholar, but it seems to me that you'd have to be a different kind of stupid to have this happen to you.   „     —No, you are no Rhodes Scholar…     “   To all the haters: At least he died doing something totally off the chain. How are you going to die? A heart attack? Yeah you're really going to look like a pimp when you're all like "Oh no! I'm having a heart attack." Personally I'm not going to go out like a punk. Yeah I might die hitting my head on a mailbox, but at least I'll be keepin it real.   „     —Facepalm     “   we are so cool. we had a ginormous ghostridingthewhip convoy.. others were ghost riding as well.   „     —Hopefully you will be the coolest dumbass in the morgue.     “   It is good to see ghost riding the whip evolving into a team activity. Team sports are a great way to build leadership skills.   „     —Team stupidity     “   The best car you can ghost ride is a Saturn. If something goes wrong, it's a $10 fix, plus owning one gets you 10 ePeen points.   „     —TTT Previous Quote | Next Quote

Lyrics

To help understand this culture, it is probably a wise idea to take a look at the lyrics for two of the most popular Ghost Riding songs. No, the more that I think about the crappy lyrics, the more I believe that it is not wise to look at them. It is for that reason that I am putting them in a morph. Scroll past quickly.

E-40 - Tell Me When To Go (feat Keak Da Sneak)

[[Make it stop][Tell Me When To Go]]

Tell me when to go... x 4

Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

Uugh. Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake em

I aint got none, but I’m planning on growing some

Imagine all the Hebrews going dumb

Dancing on top of chariots and turning tight ones (eeerrrrr)

Ooh, tell me when to go (dumb)

Talking on my ghettro on the way to the store

... My 2nd or 3rd trip

Some Henny, some Swishers and some Listerine strips

Dr. Greenthumb lift, just to ease my thoughts

Not just the cops, but the homies you got to watch

The moon is full, look at the dark clouds

Sitting in my scraper, watching Oakland go wild... Ta-dow

I don’t bump mainstream, I knock underground

All that other shit, sugar-coated and watered down

I’m from the Bay where we hyphy and go dumb

From the soil where them rappers be getting their lingo from

Tell me when to go... x 4

Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

I’m off that 18 dummie juice

... Like a mayne, labeled the Black Zeus

King of the super dooper hyphy (hyphy, hyphy, hyphy, hyphy)

And your wifey, she don’t like me (like me, like me, like me, like me)

From the Bay to the A

Put me in the back wood, Swisher sweet bud, go to the store

It's good it's dope its just some shit I wrote, I said they couldn’t be saved by John the pope (the pope)

I slid past on the gas, bitches looking at me

It’s good, it’s good like the granddaddy

Cross game, you get flipped like a burger patty

Or zig-zagged... pass me a big old fatty

... I drink white, with a s*N*ow bunny

Talking big shit in the scrapper, going hella dummy

1800, JOSE CUERVO

Yaddadamean, yaddada I’m saying though

Tell me when to go... x 4

Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

Ghost-ride the whip

Now... Scrape

Put your stunna shades on

Now... Gas, brake, dip, dip

Shake them dreads

Let me see you show your grill

Now... Thizz face

Doors open, mayne

Now... Watch em swang

Go stupid, go (dumb, dumb)

Tell me when to go... x 4

Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

---

Ghost Ride It – Mistah Fab

[[Make it stop][Ghost Ride It]]

yea man dis` ya` boy mistah fab mayn

the yellow bus rider mayn

shawn t the real king of slaps mayn

yall better act like yall know who his is mayn [chyeah`]

let me give you a 101 on how to ghost ride

look, the streets know what just this is

ghost ride the whip up and down the strip

the ghost bustas, they the police

always wanna pull a nigga over for his piece

not me, i get it in a scrape

tiremarks on the street lookin like figure 8's

sideshow, you know where im going

from the north to the east incase you aint knowin

baaayyyy bizzz

a town politic

hit club late now trying ta holla at a chick

cant get in the club, gotta parkin' lot pimp

heyy lil mama come holla at a pimp

what you know about, gettin' you a whip

buy ya self some shoes and then your car kicks

ice up ya neck, ya hands and ya whip

just to hang out the window and stuntin' wit ya click

When you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]

and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]

what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]

GHOST RIDE IT

ghost ride cha whip

pull up hop out, all in one motion

dancing on the hood, while the car still rollin'

stuntin', shinin', flamboostin'

on one high, off that potion

windows downnn, feet out of it

damn that boy high, he out of it

thizzin' t grettin, and gridin

ice in his mouf, you know he big timin'

chevys, buicks, regals, and ribbys tho

first i seen ghost ride, was critty bo

goin' dumb, party like ditty do

mistah fab im the prince of the city hoe

ghost ride, ghost ride

get out the way, let casper drive

ghost ride, go crazy

who that drivin? patrick swaize!

when you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]

and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]

what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]

GHOST RIDE IT

ghost ride cha whip

now stop stop stop stop

now go go go go

get out the car [ get out the car ]

let it roll, let it roll

let it roll, let it roll

tap that wheel [ tap that ]

open up tha door [ open up the doo ]

now thats ghost ridin', whats ghost ridin'

ya kno, ya kno, ya kno, now ya know

its not that hard, you can do it

cha wanna go dumb, just loose it

bay game, bay slang

its a bay thang

so just know when you come to tha bay mayn

stunnas is glasses

thizz is pills

rippers is brawds

scrapers automobiles

hyphy is hyper

our version of crunk

thizzin is high

and perkin' is drunk

when you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]

and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]

what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]

GHOST RIDE IT

ghost ride cha whip

Gallery

• 
  Ghost Ride the train.
• 
• 
• 
  The Average Nigga
• 
  Have a cigar you're gonna go far...
• 
  Nicholas Cage was a Ghost Rider.
• 
• 
• 
  From Deathproof. Hot chicks DO NOT Ghost Ride.
• 
  The Pope Ghost Rides, but he has to do it behind bulletproof glass.
• 
  Hood ornament.
• 
  Real movie poster.
• 
  Fake movie poster.
• 
  From the Pimp My Ride video game.
• 
  How not to Ghost Ride.
• 
  Ghost Riding in Japan.

Ghost Riding Videos

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A couple white guys ghost-riding the Volvo and somehow actually doing it right.

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Fucking LOL

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Lame Canadian ghost riders

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This is about as fucked up as it gets.

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Grandma and Grandpa ghost ride the whip

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Mayne I gots some 40 inch rims up on this muhfugga

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Ghost Riding compilation featuring Patrick Swayze.

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Ghost ride Iraq! Supposedly, these dumbasses got court martialed for this.

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Canadian Lawnmower Ghostri-...hm....

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Hip-Hop Videos About Ghost Riding

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Mistah Fab's official video for Ghost Ride It

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Traxamillion feat. Too $hort and Mistah FAB - "Sideshow"

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Ghostride the Whip movie trailer - mac dre, keak da sneak.

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E-40 featuring keak da sneak Tell Me When To Go

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I don’t even know what this guy is saying.

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See Also

• Discharges.org: Death by ghost ride
• Cars
• Hyphy
• Rap
• Natural Selection
• Spook

External Links

• 55 year old man dies while Ghost Riding
• Site dealing with hip-hop culture and Ghost Riding
• Ghost Riding Blog that is an epic source for hours of lulz
• News article that doesn’t have the facts straight
• Ghost Riding on MySpace