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Andrew Tate
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THE FUCKER GOT RELEASED FROM PRISON AND IS NOW ON HOUSE ARREST |
 The Saviour of Masculinity | |
|---|---|
| Andrew Tate | |
| Real name | Emory Andrew Tate III |
| Born | December 1, 1986 (38 years old) |
| Nationality | Britfag-Americunt  
|
| Religion | Orthodox Christianity† (formerly) Atheism  (formerly)Islam☪ (since 2022) |
Emory Andrew Tate III☪ is a middle aged inbred balding caveman, who used children obsessed with TikTok to help boost his public profile. coming as a "based", woman-hating life coach, Tate managed to grow a large audience of like-minded lobotomites, and indoctrinate little boys into his cult of ideas. He's a snake oil salesman, his ultimate goal is to sell his subscription service that contains a wealth of useless recourses on how to be the most unattractive man on the planet. It doubles as a pyramid scheme that tells subscribers to recommend others to the program for some cash.
Before he had his eyes on the internet, Tate had been a TV personality, starting out as an amateur-kickboxer before moving to trashy reality shows. After videos of him beating his girlfriend within an inch of her life ruined any chance of him becoming a mainstream celebrity, he's since been touring the world, moved to Romania, and now tries to avoid a variety of laws, arrests and foreign law enforcement who have a few questions for him regarding human trafficking.
Tate's aggressive advertising on TikTok meant people he didn't intend to see his content, came across it and thought they would make him go even more viral, in the hopes of cancelling him. Instead, Tate became both a joke to laugh at, and with, since his claims that he was restoring masculine men didn't seem to connect with the crazy advice he was giving. Being a possible criminal with a history of abuse, and now being seen as a sexist life advice guru, Tate was banned from all social media at the peak of his fame.
Early Life
What little we know about Andrew Tate before his TV career has been told by Tate himself. Andrew was born in Washington DC, but his parent's made their first mistake when they decided to raise their new-born in England. Tate claimed his father was a master chess player who overcame racism to help provide for his family, as Britain in the 80's was notoriously racist. As a kid Tate got into wrestling and competed in amateur competitions, something he claims helped kickstart his alpha male lifestyle.
Andrew Tate's absolutely insane list of bullshit claims
- At his birth when the doctor first held Tate, he supposedly growled and swiped at the Doctor, and impressed everyone with his animal instincts.
- As a child, Tate only grunted to communicate or indicate hunger.
- At an early age, Tate created his own form of martial arts for Defense, called "Tate-Shin-Kai".
- As a child, Tate was a genius philosopher who once blew the mind of a teacher by asking, "Why do we fight, when life is so beautiful?".
- To improve his martial arts skill, Tate claims he "retreated to a magical land of Wudan Mountain in China where he lived for centuries of human time, learning forbidden arts."
Television
Andrew Tate believed he was born for the television screen. Being an above-average kickboxer, Tate would have his fights televised. After gaining a sponsor for his kickboxing equipment and building up his public persona, Tate would star in the British version of Big Brother, a trashy reality TV show which allows viewers to engage in mindless drama. Tate would quickly leave the show when newspapers started sharing a video in which he starts beating his ex-girlfriend, holding back just so he didn't kill her. Andrew responded by claiming the video was just a kinky sex tape, but then the papers responded with a different video where he chased his ex-girlfriend around the house whilst threatening to beat her. This quickly ended his short-lived reality star career.
Hustler's University
Are you a lonely chud who can't seem to get girls? Can you no longer find joy in the normie world, consuming schlock. Has feminism made your generation of men weak? Well don't worry, Andrew Tate has a solution for you. It's called Hustler's University, which for $50 a month, will teach you how to be the masculine hero you ought to be. Treat women the way they're meant to be treated, the way they scream at you they don't want to be. Be strong, smart, and incredibly wealthy, all thanks to the genius of Andrew Tate, your mentor and new father figure.
Hustler's University is an online tutor program that promises to teach you stock and crypto analysis, body language tips, fitness, financial planning and business management. While all of that might sound quite interesting and varied, in reality it's just another scam online course, with an Andrew Tate coat of paint. If you need an online course to tell you to concentrate more in school, and get a job, it's basically game over for you. Tate also offers Chess coaching for $200, using his Father's history as a chess master to assure you it's value. However people have leaked Tate's Chess.com account and revealed he has a subpar score, hardly plays, and loses more games than he wins.
The most interesting part of the course is the affiliate marketing. If you created a clips channel of Andrew Tate on Instagram or YouTube, Tate would pay you for sending traffic to the university course, so long as you plugged it at the end of your content. This is why Tate became so popular in such little time, money hungry hustlers were desperately advertising for their lord, and only the successful advertisers were paid. If you're thinking, "Wow, that sounds an awful lot like a Pyramid Scheme", you're absolutely right, it's almost identical to one.
Sigma Male Lifestyle
Andrew Tate lives the coolest life ever, he fucks gorgeous babes, he's filthy rich, and he works out all day like it's nothing. That's the lifestyle he desperately tries to sell to his fans, that he is what a man should be. The problem is that most of his tweets have left his core audience and have become jokes and amusement, helping sell his brand even more to the idiots who think he' cool, but make him a target of ridicule to others. One of Tate's pastimes was to sit on Twitter, randomly replying and threatening other men. Occasionally he would also just tweet bizarre "flexes", such as how rich he is, or how few movies he's seen.
Banned
In August 2022, the silicon valley overlords had made their decision; Andrew Tate must be silenced. They had to rid the world of his toxic masculinity, his sexist lessons, his ruination of men across the world would be stopped in its tracks. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube all banned Tate, all citing different reasons. YouTube claimed Tate broke their "hate speech" rules, TikTok claimed "Misogyny is a hateful ideology" that Tate was complicit in supporting. Meta, the soulless owners of Facebook and Instagram, simply claimed that he fell under their “dangerous organizations and individuals” rule, but this is the same company that instantly bans new users if they don't hand over their drivers licence, so it was unlikely Tate would have stuck with them much longer even if the cool kids hadn't already started the trend of giving him the boot.
While Tate's pyramid scheme was left untouched, his main advertising had been wiped out in just one day. He had been trending for two weeks before this ban, his name is already known, but his relevance will slowly die if he can't be seen by his possible future customers. Tucker Carlson hosted Tate on his show, a few days about the ban, and when asked why he thought he got in trouble, Andres simply blamed his teaching of “traditional masculine values” as scaring the corporations into banning him, and that he "had large swaths of the population" agreeing with him.
The Matrix
In April 2022, Tate had his house raided by the Romanian police, after they suspected he was human trafficking. The police said they found no victims and no one was hurt, and Tate stated “No girls were found in my house, and nobody was arrested.”. After this experience, Tate started to talk about the Matrix, how it's agents are coming for him. This shockingly-bad analogy for the elites was just fantasy for Tate, he'd already been kicked off social media and then allowed back when everyone realised he was all talk.
PARTYVANNED LMAO!!1!
On The 30th of December 2022, Tate was taken into custody by the Romanian police after the aforementioned investigation of his business of luring fresh european girls into his rape dungeon where they'd be locked up and forced to run his camwhore business. The authorities were huddled up in the partyvan waiting for Tate and his brother to set foot on Gypsystan and when they got the news that he is they pounced on the Maltesers-head and dragged his ass out. This could be the final nail in the coffin of the Farthuffer's University. Looks like the investigations into our Top Gypsy hustler's shady business paid off, now that the G is in Jail the only cigars he'd be sucking on are what his melanated cellmates keep between their legs.
After his arrest, 7 properties connected to him were raided, and 7 victims were found. Along with the victims were texts from Tate where he said comically-evil lines such as "I loved raping you", and they say chivalry is dead. Now he'll likely await court, charged with human trafficking and sexual assault. The authorities said that by buying and selling women, Tate violated Romanian law and tradition, which is to just steal them.
Having semi-planned for this eventuality, Tate had his network of yes-men robots take over his social medias to keep up appearances, and so so many future hustlers became very confused as Tate was tweeting from prison, giving his thoughts on the drama of the day and reporting on rumours inside the jailhouse. However, it quickly became apparent to all this was just larping and like everything Tate himself says, was a bunch of bullshit. His team kept repeating his talking points and "lessons" ad nauseam, giving away the fact that they were running the operation, and have no thoughts of their own.
See Also
- TikTok - How he advertised himself.
- Podcasting - How he communicates with his sheep.
- Logan Paul - Fellow internet scammer with a little crush on Andrew.
