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OnlyFans

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Have you ever wanted to get a job but have no talent, relevant education, or marketable skills? Look no further.

OnlyFans, stylized as Only7ans, is a shitty site for whores to become famous by showing their bodies for money. When we say money, we mean you have to fucking pay to see the account. The users of this website are sad men who are to much of a dumbass to look up porn on Jewgle. Of course the world has been going downhill for years now, and these sluts have been making fucking millions of showing their body, to fucktards on the internet.

Sadly this website isn't dying down anytime soon. Copevid led to many bored BPD ridden teenagers flocking to the site in 2020 as well as an equal amount of middle management autists with more money to spend on butt pics than sense. Many Jewtubers are starting to join the site to show nudity to kids. Fucking celebrities are joining the site, because it's the "hip and cool" thing (yes we are at that point that camwhoring is considered the hot new trend, this is the world we live in). And somehow prostitutes are becoming famous for showing nudes.

OnlyFans girl - the song (mirror)


What is OnlyFans?

OnlyFans content creators at work

In academic terms; when viewed through a Marxist lens, OnlyFans is concrete evidence that feminism relies on the labor power of men, thus one can only conclude that men represent the Bourgeoisie to the Feminist Proletariat. We as men can only deconstruct feminism, which has abused it's institutional privilege which has caused inherent economic inequity.

OnlyFans was founded in 2016 as Instagram with one big difference - you have to pay for each person's content. Obviously, no one wanted to pay to see pictures of Stacy's food pictures and inane motivational quotes so the only content that really caught on was porn. Instead of being able to see whores for free, you get to pay a monthly subscription fee for the nudes. You may be asking why the fuck would you want pay to see whores, when you can get porn for free on Redtube or spend money on Tinder for IRL Netflix & chill? Well - people are getting moar idiotic day by day, so they don't know about that option.

The prices can range from $5 to $20 dollars a month, more than most video streaming services. Apparently, people would rather see worthless titties than fucking pay to watch the newest episode of their favorite overrated show.

People can also pay for other retarded shit as well; For example, being able meet up with their favorite slut IRL. People can fuck the whore in the car, and have hot sex. However it's useless as the girl doesn't give a fuck about you, and never will care about you. You can also send them shit to see them nude by their door. It'll probably be better to just look up porn online. Better yet, go bag yourself a solid 4/10 from the local waterhole with low enough self-esteem to let you fuck.

Getting to interact with these whores is worthless. The truth is they do not give a flying shit about you and they only see you as a dollar sign. You aren't getting your precious virtual e-thot girlfriend, you dumbfuck.

Recruitment PsyOps and You

NO I WILL NOT GET A REAL JOB! SEX WORK IS REAL WORK!!!!

OnlyFans is essentially a pyramid scheme. Only the top 5% or so is going to be earning enough to make triple figures. The generous OnlyFans referral program provides a permanent percentage kickback for whatever anyone who signs up under their name. This incentivizes these top earners to make showing your shit encrusted asshole to strangers on the internet enticing to as many terminally online barely legal zoomers as possible. As a result, the market is now flooded with mid-30s crackwhores and lukewarm IQ hambeasts with no other job prospects who have fallen victim to the #Girlboss pro-sexwork Twitter echo chamber. These homely e-whores sell pictures of their pimply buttcheeks and blown out asshole for the measly price of a bag of hot cheetos. You can often find them crying on Twitter about their coomers not giving them enough money.

Memes

With the ongoing and increasing popularity of OnlyFans, many people have started making shitty Twitter memes about it. Below you can find some examples.

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The OnlyFans Leak

ITS BACK

The OnlyFans Leak aka The Fappening 2.0 was the result of data being leaked online for even more sad fucks to jack off to. Many retards on Twitter started spamming the link everywhere (not a very good idea at all, you dumbfucks). This led to the whores getting pissed off.

It's unknown who caused the leak, as the fucktards who run OnlyFans found no evidence of a data breach. So the best possible assumption is one of the saddest fucks on the entire planet, decided to pay for tons of accounts. He then told his teddy bear about OnlyFans, and it magically came alive and shot itself in the face. He then decided that he should leak all OnlyFans so everyone can see the pics. Little does he know the rest of us think OnlyFans is retarded.

However we do know one thing. OnlyFans is as trustworthy as iCloud to keep your nude pics. We suggest not taking them at all.

The De-Fappening

One example of quality OnlyFans content

On August 19, 2021, OnlyFans announced that they would be banning pr0n, starting October 1st. This was probably due to millions of prudes getting angry at a bunch of losers paying to see whores, thinking it would damage their brains. They wanted to appeal to the politically correct news websites slamming OnlyFans.

This means millions of talentless whores would lose their jobs. Feminazis came out for these whores saying "women are going broke". No they already made a shit ton of jew-gold of pathetic man, they can just find another job easily (on the internet anyways).

The Incel and MGTOW communities collectively shat themselves, as they loose access to there favorite whores that don't a shit about them's nudes. At that point just look up porn.

Some might say that banning the only reason that your company makes money is a less than prudent idea, but OnlyFans knows better.

Re Fappening

None of the stuff above matters anymore, like it ever did to begin with. Because of millions of Whores and Simps being butthurt, OnlyFans decided to reverse their decision to ban porn. It would of been better that they were ignored, but OnlyFans were too concerned about the whores.

See Also


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Featured article June 11th & June 12th, 2020
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