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{{Spoiler|The debate is officially over! Vaccines <big>DO</big> cause autism! This is mostly through artificial instant immune activation, combined with all kinds of tartlet excrement, like: mercury, horse urine and monkey brain cells. <br>This is <big>absolutely true</big>, and [https://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/scientific-proof-vaccines-cause-autism/ you can see] [http://vaccinepapers.org/ for yourself, <big>you lil' sheeple</big>]}}
{{Spoiler|AUTISM IS CAUSED BY OLD MAN SPERM! BLAME YOUR PROCRASTINATING PARENTS!}}
{{spoiler|text=A parrot can dance better than an assburger}}
{{Spoiler|Since 2014 (''cf''. DSM-V), Assburgers Syndrome is officially no longer a recognized condition in psychology or the field of medicine, it is now plain autism!}}
{{Welfare}}
{{Offended}}


'''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''BALEET THE [[Icewillow9|ICEWILLOW9]] ARTICLE RIGHT NOW'''</span>'''</span>'''
[[File:Creepykid.gif|thumb|A typical aspie.]]
[[File:Cwcspin-UncleBastard.gif|thumb|right| Aspiers are characterized by extreme self-neglect, domestic squalor, social withdrawal, apathy, compulsive hoarding of garbage, and lack of shame.]]
[[File:Proudfather.jpg|thumb|You too can show off your defective [[Child|offspring]] with this button!]]
[[File:Average brony.jpg|thumb|right|The [[Brony]] [[furfags|fandom]] is the largest mass collection of Ass Pies on the internet and IRL.]]


FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT
'''Ass Burgers Syndrome''' is a term that grew out of the wild and competitive "Publish or Perish" [[WebMD|medical research]] establishment. A certain [[kike]] named Dr. Hans Asperger, due to his Jew instinct to make up nonexistent diseases to scam otherwise normal people out of their money, had the [[lazy|brilliant idea]] of putting all the psychopaths with little or no social skills in one group and diagnosed them with a new mental illness: AUTISM. (The name itself is a euphemism for what he called "Autistic Sociopaths").  Like all [[A frank discussion of mental illness|mental illness]] there is absolutely no physical evidence that it actually exists, but for expecting parents it replaces Down's Syndrome as the number one disorder they fear their child will develop. It differs from [[High_Functioning_Autism|High Functioning Autism]] in that it was considered utter bullshit before it was popular to invent psychiatric disorders.
 
[[File:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|right| <center>The use of this card has been getting Chris-Chan out of trouble since 1982</center>]]
Asperger-monsters are the most self-centered, selfish pieces of shit on the planet. Devoid of empathy, social reasoning, social context, or self-awareness, they are sociopaths with another definition, who live to collect and catalog meaningless items like barcodes, bottletops, and [[plastic crap]] by any means possible including murder. Common symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome include failing at social interaction and empathy, failing at communication, failing at getting a job, failing at life, failing at hygiene, becoming obsessed with [[animu]] or video games, and breaking out into fits of [[Tard rage|Stress™]] when their strict routines are broken or when they're asked to stop being lazy, self-serving leeches living off the government and their parents.
 
For these reasons, Asperger's Syndrome has greatly eclipsed [[ADHD]] as the popular diagnosis of choice for [[furries|pretty]] [[vampire|much]] [[weeaboo|every]] [[Wikipedos|group]] [[feminist|of]] [[Anonymous|retards]] [[on the internet]]. It is of no coincidence then that all people with Asperger's Syndrome are [[fugly]].
 
Interestingly, the effects of long-term neglect in early childhood are nearly identical to Asperger's Syndrome, which itself can be fairly compared to psychopathy and sociopathy. This proves to be a good argument for [[Eugenics|drastic measures]]. Be sure to thank the nearest Aspie for drawing [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] porn rather than killing and eating neurotypicals (with chicken tendies on the side).
 
Asperger's Syndrome remains the one of the most compelling argument for eugenics ever established. Examples of famous people with assburgers are [[Muhammad]], [[Albert Einstein]], [[Al Gore]], [[L. Ron Hubbard]], [[Jay Leno]], [[Abraham Lincoln]], [[Mark Zuckerberg]], [[Hitler]], and the [[Japan]]ese.
 
__TOC__
 
 
==Assburgers on the Internets==
[[File:Aspergersdefinition.gif|center]]
 
 
AssBurger has become [http://www.asciiartfarts.com/20050711.html a fad] for those seeking to garner [[attention whores|attention]] unto themselves.  In a hallowed tradition of [[disease|disease whores]] everywhere, many of today's youth expertly design a disease which kills two birds with one stone by:
# Assuming others are born normal rather than work at it, giving the self-proclaimed Asspie an excuse not to make an effort to develop social skills, and
# Assuming they were born smart, rather than merely having had more exposure to books and computers because no one wanted to be around them.
 
Want to find out if you can justify your [[fail]]ed life with Asperger's? [http://wwwo Take the test!]
 
===Also known as ...===
[[File:Asperger_King.gif|thumb|right|Jobs for Aspies (too bad they don't work).]]
*A-Monsters
*Ass Burgers
*Assburgerers
*Assburpers
*Asspie Syndrome
*[[Incontinent Student Bodies|BAWWWWWtism]]
*Badly in need of an ass whooping.  Yes, most Asspies can be cured with some discipline and a belt to their ass.
*Butt Sandwich's Syndrome
*Cerebral lawlzy
*H.I.T.M.E. (kinda like HIV is to AIDS, this is to the A.U.T.I.S.M.)
*High-functioning autism
*Loltism
*Flawtism
*The My White Kid I pay no attention to is special syndrome.
*NOTism
*Retarded People Syndrome
*Spergs
*Subhuman meat calculator's
 
===Assburgers on ED===
 
 
It's [[common knowledge]] that asspies don't give two shits about anything but themselves. Asspies are selfish, narcissistic assholes who expect [[ED|the motherland]] to feel [[Troll's Remorse|remorse]] for putting up such an [[Offended|offensive]] article. However, they don't give even the slightest fuck about [[women]], [[nigras]], [[homosexuals]], [[WTC]], [[abortion]], [[animal abuse]] [[politics]], or anything that doesn't relate to people licking their burger-asses. So, being typical faggots, they do what they do best: [[Talk:Asperger's Syndrome|bitch and moan]].
 
It should also be noted that asspies tend to compare themselves to [[Shit nobody cares about|famous asspies in history]], failing to realize that those people succeeded in life and <i>aren't</i> basement dwelling rejects. So the next time you hear an asspie compare himself to Einstein, feel free to redirect him to [[Chris-chan]] but more importantly, remind them that Einstein was very capable of getting laid and was also well known for his sexual conquests.  Furthermore, Einstein wasn't some fat ass piece of shit who used the Assburgers' excuse to get out of gym class but was rather adept at soccer and other sports.
 
They also posthumously diagnose people like Einstein, who might very well have fucking hated and rejected the idea of "aspergers" on both logical and ethical grounds. It is also interesting to note that they only ever diagnose with Assburgers deceased historical figures who are overwhelmingly considered history's '[[moralfags|good guys]]' - you will never hear these people claim that [[Hitler]] or [[Rome|Caligula]] were asspies, despite what [[some argue|some historians]] now believe.
 
Assburgers is a made-up [[aids|disease]], most common in overachieving middle-class families, because little Johnny is either a social outcast, or is just acting fucking [[retarded]]. The parents [[rape|diagnose]] their child, and the "doctors" go along with and encourage it because of the money it generates for them. It's a self-perpetuating cycle. Fuckers.
The truth is, the Assburgers diagnosis has become popular with parents because they need a good excuse as to why their "retarded children are dumb faggots who will be [[dying alone]]."
 
==Common Symptoms==
[[Image:Asperger.jpg|thumb|"ASS PIES" are recognizable because of the light bulbs shooting out from their skulls. They also all have the exact same expression IRL.]]
[[Image:Retard11.jpg|thumb|[[Flardox|This person has assburgers]].]]
[[Image:Dantheman2funny Daniel Russell fapping aspie correct.jpg|thumb| A typical aspie [[fapping]] in an improvised [[hugbox]].]]
[[Image:Autism_speaks.png|thumb|[[Derp|Autism speaks.]]]]
[[Image:Steamtard.png|thumb|Typical names used by aspies on the internet.]]
 
The diagnostic criteria were established by John Harvey Kellogg in 1888 and consist of the following:
 
*'''You think it's an excuse while intentionally ignoring this thing known as a "self-fulfilling prophecy".'''
*You talk about things that nobody cares about.
*Wearing other things that nobody wears, especially things that nobody else would be caught dead wearing.
*The refusal to accept [[constructive criticism]] or responsibility for your actions.
*Your friends are either way out of your age group, imaginary or are woodland creatures, none of which are good things.
*Missing social cues when you act like a fuck-up in public.
*Asking extremely obvious questions you already know the answer to.
*Telling various [[Sob Story|sob stories]] about being misunderstood/discriminated against.
*Ending said sob story on the note that you wouldn't want to be rid of your [[Victim Complex|'condition']] anyway since you are actually [[jerk|smarter]] than everyone else and probably the next step in evolution, <i>(like an [[X-men|xmans]]!!)</i>
*Hand flapping.
*Shit and piss everywhere.
*[[Tourette's Syndrome]]
*You watch and enjoy programing that you are [[manchild|far too old for]] - such as ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Pokemon]]'', ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', ''[[Thomas the Tank Engine]]'' and ''[[Battle for Dream Island]]''.
*Walking around in circles or moving parts of your body like you are on drugs.
*Mumbling to yourself in class like a retard.
*Ruining the internet[http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1025899]
*Talking with a [[Prince Jeremy|robotic accent]] - see [[Lulzcast]]
*Not [[Asking for it|getting the hint]] in social situations.
*[[Nerd rage]] over the most trivial bullshit.
*Constantly stammering and stumbling over your sentences.
*Being a [[Furry]].
*Being a [[Wapanese|Weeaboo]].
*Having multiple [[LiveJournal]]s for the different "aspects of your personality", one of which is naturally filled with [[slash]].
*[[Sociopath|Thinking that everyone else is the one with the problem]].
* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=11596 Thinking Lawyers can save their asses against the internets and Lulz]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiVtHHzGpjU Having an unnatural obsession with elevators.]
*Possessing a massive victim complex about how the evil NTs are making your selfish life hard.
*Addiction to [[Anime]].
*[[Chris-Chan|Believing that fictional characters actually exist.]]
*Being a [[redneck]].
*Continously fapping their curved penis.
*Giving a flicker of the eyes when looking at someone.
*You claim to have no interest in sex/ be asexual, but go on to Gamefaqs.com and [[TV Tropes]] to bore people with your cataloging of [[pervert|sexual practices]] that you have rated as which would be the most pleasurable, because you would know because you have never had sex.  '''AM I RIGHT HYENA?'''
*Browsing ED
*Being a medic profile on [[iFunny]] and [[Loser|making SFM posters showing off your medic's cosmetics]] while being a self-centered faggot who isn't even good in [[TF2]]. Also, in reality, many would tell you to [[Suicide|end your worthless life]].
*Rewording, or rephrasing an observation made approximately 2 minutes prior (bonus: it's being done to impress your """friends""" on [[Discord]])
 
 
If you have any of the symptoms listed above, or if you have taken the linked test, then you are DEFINITELY an Asspie, and need to "come out" to your [[flist]] about your [[bullshit|"special gift"]] NOW, while immediately affixing the appropriate pro-asspie userboxes to your [[Wikipedia admin]] page so that people know never to argue with you, ever, because that would be [[racist|discrimination]]. Some brave Asspie named [[Awesome|Jeremy orkin]] (username:godhatesautism) came out of the closet and told everyone that Asspie retards are dumb faggots. He was most likely killed by Zionist Asspie CIA agents.
 
Autism is one of the three most common acts of attention whoring/e-drama. The other two are [[Death]] (specifically [[suicide]])  and being [[Pregnant]] (especially teen pregnancies, which is where most asspies come from, funnily enough).
 
Autismals feature an exoskeleton, a segmented body, and jointed appendages. They replace their cuticle periodically by moulting. Unlike most animals, autismals are very successful in dry environments with abundant sand they can count and then turn into transistors. Their internal organs are generally built of repeated segments. Autismal vision relies on various combinations of compound eyes and pigment-pit ocelli. Autismals have a wide range of chemical and mechanical sensors. The evolutionary ancestry of autismals dates back to the Cambrian period. Autismals first appeared in the fossil record approximately 535 million years ago and there are many exceptionally preserved specimens, which all autismals can immediately identify and tell you all about for hours if not days. Autismals contribute to the human species as anal know-it-alls, and more importantly as a source of lulz. Some specific species are known to spread severe disease to humans, livestock, and crops. Facebook is a highly contagious infection that spreads easily through coughs and sneezes. Nine out of ten people who are not immune who share living space with an infected person will catch it.
 
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<youtube>j4PTf7LgsIE</youtube>
|}
<center>'''An autistic [[Adult Baby|manbaby]], displaying all the symptoms of the disease.'''</center>
 
==Asspie national anthem==
{{quote|
If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)<br/>
If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)<br/>
If you're an Aspie and you know it your complex body motions show it<br/>
If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)<br/>
|Aspie national anthem|}}
 
When Aspies are happy and they know it, they will take the time and liberty to record themselves laughing like a demented maniac because of their immense egotism.
 
==Having Asperger's Syndrome==
===. . . As Covering Up for Being a Total [[Retard]]===
 
[[Image:AspieStateMachine.png|thumb|How shit gets diagnosed in flow-chart/state machine format.]]
 
Some close-knit communities of "people", such as [[furries]], [[plushie|plushies]], and [[otherkin]] possess such distorted views of reality as to be particularly susceptible to forming a belief that their ostracism is due to victimization by outside factors. They will not infrequently claim to have Assburger's or be [[Autism|Autistic]] en masse, often finding some way to tie its manifestations into the fact that they are social misfits. The truth is, though, that they're just complete assholes and fail at proper expression of affection. In certain instances, having "Assburger's" seems to be correlated with the posting of disgusting and semi-nude pictures of yourself frequently on the [[internet]] and local [[AIDS]] awareness seminars, or writing [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/370928/ highly disturbed] [[fanfiction]]. Additionally, it is not unheard of for these individuals to claim multiple, even superficially seemingly incompatible diagnoses of a plethora of diseases -- possibly claiming [[anorexia]], ADHD, autism, Asperger's, [[schizophrenia]], [[PTSD]], OCD, and anything else they've ever read about or seen on CSI.
 
===. . . As an excuse for violent crime===
 
There have been many examples of Assburger's being an excuse for murder, rape or other violent crime recently. For example, [[Nicky Reilly]], an Aspie with the IQ of a 10-year-old, had attempted to bomb a cafe for his [[Allah]] in the UK. His lawyers then bawled about Asperger's Syndrome and his mental retardation. Also, John Odgren has made national news for murdering a classmate in a wealthy town in Massachusetts. He has used Asperger's Syndrome as a defense with moderate success. And in developing news at this time of writing, [[loli]] stabber and [[nigger]] [[Axel Muganwa Rudakubana]] has been reported as having been diagnosed with assburgers, which will inevitably lead to him proudly exclaiming "[[DINDUNUFFIN|I dindu nuffin! It wuz da autizms!]]" to the judge, and no doubt result in a lighter sentence.
 
===Einstein was an Aspie, so that makes me special!===
 
 
{{quote|There is a general impression that Asperger's syndrome carries with it superior intelligence and a tendency to become very interested in and preoccupied with a particular subject.| A [[retard]] making excuses. Explains why asspies are passionate about doing nothing.}}
 
{{quote|This condition can make people depressed or suicidal, so if we can find out how to make things easier for them, that’s worthwhile.| Simon Baron-Cohen on [https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3676-einstein-and-newton-showed-signs-of-autism/ the real reason] why he diagnosed Einstein as autistic.}}
 
[[File:TroperUrine.PNG|200px|thumb|Urine bomb, another proud Asspie invention]]
 
Websites such as [http://www.allthingsaspergers.com/ this] try to facilitate the asspie myth that some of history’s most famous geniuses and philosophers had the condition. People such as Albert Einstein (of course), Ludwig van Beethoven, and Wolfgang Mozart all supposedly had the affliction despite a lack of evidence to prove this. Yes, all the whiny, self-diagnosed people you have read about on this page have all the untapped creative energy that Thomas Edison had.  Unfortunately, none of them appear to have any of the talents Einstein did tap into, (which just happen to be the good ones).  All of the things mentioned by the site are part of the [[conspiracy]] by those with Asperger's Syndrome to show that the disease is at [[Shit nobody cares about|the higher end of the autistic spectrum]]. Coincidentally though, most of the people who they listed have been dead for years so there is no way of telling if they had the disease or not. It's also funny how they pick the most prolific and recognizable people of the era's to classify as autistic, which any historian would either act rationally and give educated analysis on why this isn't true, or just jump on the bandwagon to avoid soccer moms that would have them fired for life and left on the streets to die for being a functioning human being.
 
===Asspies are responsible for all the evil in history===
[[File:Marxism and autism conference.jpg|300px|right|thumb|In Soviet Russia, autism has YOU]]
Whenever you look through history at all the [[jews did wtc|horrid things]] that have happened, you can probably find an Asspie that was responsible for them. The [[Nazi]]'s were all Asspies. [[Adolf Hitler]] was an Asspie ([http://www.lakartidningen.se/store/articlepdf/1/11854/LKT0917s1201_1204.pdf sauce]) as can be discerned by his manner of speech where he flailed his arms around. [[moonspeak|Obersturmbannführer]] Adolf Eichmann was an asspie; he basically kept track of every single Jew in the [[Germany|Third Reich]] and German-occupied territories(basically most of Europe) to excruciating detail. Reichsführer-SS Himmler was definitely an Asspie as can be seen by his blank Asspie stare. The [[Unabomber]], Ted Kaczynski, [[Serial Killers]] Ted Bundy and [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] were also Asspies. [[Adam Lanza]] was an asspie; he mass murdered 20 kids and 7 women at [[Sandy Hook|Sandy Hook Elementary School]]. [[Joshua Goldberg]] AKA "[[moonmetropolis]]" [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/09/11/terrorist-troll-pretended-to-be-isis-white-supremacist-and-jewish-lawyer.html who wanted to bomb] the 9/11 memorial was an Autistic.
 
Asspies are often rapists.  An example is the [[Revenge of the Nerds]] movie, where the main sperg, who is such a [[nice guy]], rapes that stupid sorority slut in disguise.  She then grows a brain and realizes that she should owe him for being a Beta.
 
Asspies have very good analytical skills, but they can only apply them to dehumanizing military and nonrenewable energy technologies.  Asspies built the efficiently-designed concentration camps and gas showers in Nazi Germany.  Asspies invented the oil rig (especially the one that exploded near Texas), the oil well, and natural gas factories.  They invented the Hummer, the Cadillac Escalade, and the Prius.  Logging machines are built with an "autistic mindset".
 
All the military technologies in the world were invented by Asspies, including the software.  The Atomic bomb, which Einstein advocated for and killed millions of civilians, was built using Autistic analysis.  Every tank, every gun (ESPECIALLY the AK-47) and every missile was designed by an autistic individual.  The forcible cattle slaughter machines were built by asspies (which [[Temple Grandin]] also built, she didn't admit it though).  Chernobyl and Three Mile Island were products of autistic design.  Military submarines and carriers were designed using autistic innovation.  So were military computers.  The stealth bomber was invented by sneaky asspies.  All the military helicopters were designed using autistic math.  Agent orange, which killed millions. was designed by autists.
 
Coal-powered power plants were built using autistic science and engineering.  Dangerous mining machines were built by unempathetic autistics.  Gas stations that produce excessive fumes were invented by them.  All the pollution in the world is because of autism.  '''Actually, if it wasn't for autism''', we would have clean air, renewable energy, and would live to the age of 80.  '''There would be no violence whatsoever.'''
 
===Asspie Dating===
[[File:AspieBronies.jpg|thumb|Aspie "couples" love [[My Little Pony]].]]
 
As they are socially retarded, Asspies do not know the proper way to get a girlfriend or boyfriend even though they are very attracted to [[hawt]]. Therefore, they will do stupid things that make them look like rapists.  Common Ass Burgers Syndrome sufferers often use the following methods.
*Use of stupid [[PUA|pickup lines from the internet]]
*Retarded frankness: "Wow, we have a lot in common...when do we have sex?"
*Seeing a girl that is hot when on a bathroom break at school and following her into the girls bathroom and then blurting out "I want to kiss you!"
*[[Masturbation|Masturbating]] behind a girl in Science Class. Or maybe just to the Igneous rocks. Sicko.
*And, natural successor to the above, [http://www.slate.com/id/2210565/ Masturbating across the office from a female co-worker]
*Talking to a girl in public, and when she smiles it is taken as a request to show up at her house in the middle of the night naked.
*Walking up to a girl and asking her to erotically spank his bottom
*[http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt164663.html Online stalking and asking for girlfriends repeatedly in chat rooms]
*[[Kevin Havens|Finding a woman in far worse physical and mental condition than themselves and possessing very low standards and becoming her "caretaker"]]
*[[Kevin Havens|More or less giving up on meaningful human contact and spending all of their money on sex dolls]]
*[[Chris-chan|Loitering in malls with a sign that says they're looking for a "Boyfriend-Free Girl"]]
*Not caring if a woman is married or taken and still chasing after her and trying to get her to sit on their lap
*Making weird [[animal]] sounds at inappropriate times
 
Despite their internet addiction, most Asspies are completely unaware of the best way to bypass all these challenges: [[wishful thinking|using a dating website]]! Those websites allow even the most pathetic losers to develop relationships with women, but most Asspies are so arrogant and set in their ways that they would much rather use the creepy methods above that could get them arrested.
 
==The Legend of Hugbox Island==
[[File:Aspergerdance.gif|frame|Unremarkable retards perform their special tribal dance used to summon Neptune, or some shit.]]
 
Surely you are thinking after reading all of this "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?". Or alternatively, "that sounds just like me" (if the latter describes you, you should immediately [[An Hero|administer a bullet to your head]]; if symptoms persist, please ask someone else to administer the bullet for you).
 
The Legend:<br>
About 2000 years ago, Antarctica was a very nice and warm continent, and millions of people lived there.
But in year 1337, an epidemic of Asperger's Syndrome started in Antarctica, and nearly every newborn baby was an asspie.<br>
First, that wasn't a real problem: Because everyone was an asspie, that was called normal.
But then one of them invented an electrically powered [[Hugbox]], and almost every inhabitant of Antarctica wanted to have one.<br>
So, they needed huge amounts of electricity to power all the hugboxes.<br>
But there also was a solution for this problem: The inventor of the hugbox also invented a machine which converts the ambient heat into electricity (although this is called impossible by modern physics).<br>
For the asspies, that was the perfect solution: They weren't sensitive to cold weather and they needed the power for the hugboxes.
The power generators cooled Antarctica so much that the ground began to freeze, and ice crusts began building up. That was no problem, from now on the asspies simply built their hugboxes and generators on the ice.<br>
But they forgot that the ice rose over the oceans and made the fish inaccessible for them. So, all the asspies didn't get food and died.
 
==Quotes are as follows==
<center>{{morphquote|assburgers|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
 
|Many, Many eons in the past, this new civilization was founded, building great towers and dwellings, and thriving in a social structure, very different to that which we observe today. The Aspergians celebrated an individual's uniqueness and devotion to their cause. They taught their young that each and every person is born with a very specific talent, their "special gift", which they must identify if they are to live a full and fulfilling life.
<br>
<small>Translation: "A place THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT ATLANTIS existed [[over 9000]] years ago, where MOM AND THE TEACHERS WOULDN'T MAKE ME DO SHIT, and so I heard about this 'special gift' and because of that I can be a lazy douchebag from Atlantis even though unlike 'the man' I do not have webbed feet, and further, I am not good looking like Patrick Duffy, and even further still, I like to employ douchebag phrases such as 'and further' and 'even further still'..."</small>|Most asspies are also otherkin.
 
|The Aspergians did not build their dwellings close to each other. They had a complex social structure which allowed individuals to invest most of their seeker years in searching for their destiny, and most of their time as initiated in fulfilling it. This helped their culture to achieve great things.
<br>
<small>Translation: "NO ONE DID SHIT AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE SO FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD. OM NOM NOM"</small>|Wait - "complex social structure"? They can barely understand facial expressions.
 
|It may be that the tales of the great flood, all go back to the Aspergian story. After the civilization of Aspergia survived for millennia without danger or strife, the ocean itself sought its own destiny and found that it had to take over the land on which the Aspergians lived. The water rose and rose, until there was no doubt that Aspergia would cease to exist within a short period of time.
<br>
<small>Translation: "MOM AND DAD CAME AND SAID TO DO CHORES."</small>|(Translators note: After reading this we now suspect [[DivineAngel]] to be the author of said website)
 
|The Aspergians were not ever faced with the task of building a boat that was bigger than for the purpose of local fishing. Other than the oft told story of the great Son of Aspergia, who set to sea in search of other lands, and was never seen again, they had not dared try and go beyond the borders of the visible waters, because they knew there were great currents there; currents which take you to sea and never let you return.
<br>
<small>Translation: "????" Stolen from [[The Legend of Zelda]] because even though teh Asper is not a real condition, a complete lack of any creativity or imagination is known to characterize all teh Aspers (otherwise they would invent their own condition rather than ripping off some [[You|bald, drunk and dateless loser's failed joke]]).</small>|Verily.
 
|The peoples they came across were very different to them: they valued a sort of constant Communitude, they were afraid of their destiny, and were afraid of being alone or pursuing their talents. But the Aspergians were a minority everywhere they went,. and their nature dictated that they integrate, and learn the ways of the land.
<br>
<small>Translation: "They found people who did scary things, like use words properly, and mocked others for being lazy and stupid."</small>|This apparently destroy REAL civilization.
 
|Their story was swallowed into the general mythology, and made a part of human heritage.
<br>
<small>Translation: "We ArE BeTtEr ThEn U!!1!1, and our Aspers stops all the boys in the yard, our disease is better than yours, we can teach you how but we'll have to charge, our disease is better than yours."</small>|Fuck history. WE know history.
 
|In some periods of history, Aspergian manifestations were hunted down and destroyed. Aspergian women burned at the stake as witches, Aspergian inventors and creative minds persecuted for daring to be different. There were Aspergians who discovered a destiny-talent for design and formulation, and secretly created ancient Aspergian symbols in crop circles. There are Aspergians that are Gazers to this day, watching for trains, planes, boats or searching for life in outer space. These traits are so different to "normal" human ones that they persisted through their genes.
<br>
<small>Translation: "We ripped off some more shit, yeah, we're going to say Albert Einstein was one of us even though he had few communication problems and did a lot of hard work, and we are just lazy introverted slobs blaming everything on genetics which might not even exist." (Remember kids, autism isn't always genetic, it is commonly caused by being spoiled, boredom, and/or being a bitch, coupled with unsupervised access to Wikipedia).</small>|[[Hitler]] as an asspie too.
 
|Autistic culture holds a concept that autism, as a unique way of being, should be embraced and appreciated, not shunned or cured. Many autistic individuals prefer being alone to socializing.  Some autistic people appreciate mathematics, science, and computers (although it should be noted that while such interests are found in a larger portion of the autistic population than the neurotypical population, there are also many autistic people who have no special talents in these areas).  Some even have a fascination with writing their shitty blogs. Many autistic people describe the belief of relating to aliens.
<br><small>Translation: We don't know how to be liked, so we'll pretend we're special instead!</small>|Just like Hitler's fanboys.
}}</center>
 
And not only do they insist on having their own made-up, bullshit history, that they failed to own or make up themselves, but rather quilted together from collected bits and bobs created by non-Aspers, Assburglers also have to have their own [http://aspiesforfreedom.org/wiki/index.php?title=Autistic_culture culture]. Even worse, they've ripped off the [http://www.nad.org/site/pp.asp?c=foINKQMBF&b=91587 deaf], who actually have something in common besides being [[Attention whore|attention whore]] assholes.
 
==Assplurgian: The Language of the Asspie==
[[File:Assburgers.jpg|thumb|300px|Artist's reenactment]]
[[File:I have aspergers stop being mean.jpg|thumb|250px|More proper reactions]]
[[File:Wapanesewithpocky.jpg|thumb|right|The typical Asplurgian who claims to be [[agnostic]] [[libertarian]] and [[lie|dates a Japanese porn star seiyu]]]]
 
When Asspies try to speak, they tend to talk in a way that butchers the English language so hard that it would make text in an NES game look like it was written by Robert Frost.
 
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<youtube>G7RgN9ijwE4</youtube>
|}
<center>'''I would, I want, I wish you'd shut the fuck up.'''</center>
 
 
Language amongst these individuals differs from normal uses of language. To demonstrate these differences, text written in Assplurgian are noted in bold. The italicized text is the translation into common language understood by those living in reality.
 
*'''Welcome: If you cannot or do not want to socialize in real life you may find some pleasure in doing it online. Meet people who are similar to you!'''
 
*''Translation: You're a fucking lazy faggot and you'd rather sit at your computer and wank than try at anything. See: [[loser]]''
 
 
*'''<nowiki>#</nowiki>asperger is your channel if you are somewhere on the autistic spectrum. The autism spectrum includes autism, Assburger syndrome, and PDD-NOS. One thing we have in common is an impairment in nonverbal communication with neurologically typical ("normal") people that causes social difficulties. People with conditions such as hyperlexia, Tourette syndrome, schizoid personality disorder, social phobia, etc., may join the channel if there is also impairment in nonverbal communication. Loners with an autism-like condition are welcome.'''
 
*''Translation: People with ass burgers aren't diseased, they're just different. All other losers are welcome to join our [[Circle jerk|club]] in order to keep numbers up.  Damn all for being "normal."''
 
*'''It is not necessary to have an official diagnosis to join the channel. What counts is that you suspect seriously that you would fit in to the autism spectrum. If so, please feel free to join #asperger to see if you might 'fit in' with us.'''
 
*''Translation: E-diagnosing [[16 year old girl]]s please.''
 
*'''When you first join the channel, an operator will ask some basic information from you, including how you found out about the channel and whether you are on the autistic spectrum. If you don't have an official diagnosis, we may ask you why you think you are on the spectrum. Don't worry too much about this, though. We do not attempt to make diagnoses on whether or not channel visitors have an autism spectrum disorder. However, we must determine whether it is a likely possibility, in order to protect the channel against obvious imposters and troublemakers.'''
 
*''Translation: You can come here with an e-diagnosis but we'll probably kick you out anyways because you might be /b/. Dogs and curtains work better anyways you cunts.''
 
*'''The channel is only for those who are on the autistic spectrum!'''
 
*''Translation: Okay so what was that before about other social disorders?''
 
 
*'''<nowiki>#</nowiki>asperger is not for parents of autistic children and "experts" who wish to exchange experiences and ideas about treatments. If you want to discuss treatments etc. you are requested to do it on #autism or on #prism.'''
 
*''Translation: We only want kids because we're [[pedophiles]].''
 
Source and further study of Asspies and Assplurgian language in the wild: http://www.inlv.demon.nl/irc.asperger/
 
===Terminology===
[[File:Temple Grandin and horse.jpg|thumb|Asspie scientist [[Temple Grandin]], inventor of the hugbox]]
People who have (fictionally or otherwise) Asperger's will sometimes refer to themselves as ''asspies'' or as a group, the ''asspie'' community.  While these people may come across as jerks, the actual victims of the disease are halfway-decent, possibly-human, lifeforms minus the social skills who encounter the self-diagnosed attention-whoring [[victim|victimhood]]-loving [[cunt|cunts]], whose falseness drives their victims into a driveling, uncontrollable rage.
 
'''''Shared language'''''
 
Although autistic culture doesn't have its own language, there is some terminology commonly used by those in autistic culture, such as:
 
* '''Asspie''': A short-hand way of saying Asperger's. Sometimes it is referred to only those diagnosed with Asperger's, and sometimes it refers to the whole spectrum. Most proponents of autistic culture would prefer not to call Asperger's a "syndrome."
* '''Autie''': A short-hand way of saying an autistic person. Sometimes it is used only to refer to those diagnosed with autism instead of Asperger's, and sometimes it refers to the whole spectrum.
* '''Cousin''': A cousin is someone who is not technically autistic in the clinical use of the word, but is still similar enough to autistic people to be as much a part of autistic culture as someone officially diagnosable with autism. Sometimes these people are similar because they have a similar condition (although a cousin doesn't have to have any psychological conditions) such as schizoid personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, or hyperlexia. AC is often used to stand for "autistics and cousins."
* '''Curebie''': A person with the desire to cure autism. These people are usually viewed in a negative light in autistic culture.
* '''[[Neurodiversity]]''': A concept of tolerance of people regardless of neurological wiring.
* '''Neurotypical''': Usually abbreviated NT. Refers to a nonautistic person. This is absurd, however, considering that "Aspies" aren't the only ones who aren't "neurotypical", unless these Aspies so self-absorbed as to classify all non-Aspies as NT just to feel [[moar]] [[special|speshul]].
 
 
Translation: Like the Atlantis shit, we ripped off some [[A frank discussion of mental illness|psychology jargon]], 'cause we r smart.  Plus, we still don't want to bother being liked, don't cure us, because [[lies|sitting around picking our nose and perseverating on math is fucking normal, asshole!]]
 
[[Lie|Aspergians: totally a word.]]
 
Should also be noted that those who deal with people who supposedly have this disease (and can't stand them) will refer to the [[Drama whore|wannabe sick]] as having AssBurners Syndrome.
 
==Interweb Case Studies==
[[Image:JewishAspies.png|thumb|center|599px|I don't mean to sound judgmental,[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2226526626 but ...] When it rains, it pours for some people.]]
 
JewishAzns (if there is one community) would be huge: 36,000 members
 
AspieAzns (times 10) = 360,000 members
 
AspieJewishAzns = You get the picture. 
 
*[[An]] "[[CNN]] manager" found out she was an Aspie and was so elated that [http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/03/28/autism.essay/index.html she wrote an article about it] on CNN.com. It is full of [[lulzy]] statements like these: ''Hugs are dispensed infrequently, but if I do hug someone, I resemble Frankenstein's monster, arms extended to control contact. When my dad (who I suspect is an Aspie, too) and I hug, we both have "the approach." We sometimes miss and have to re-approach a couple of times until a brief, awkward hug is achieved.'' [[Gb2]]/[[hugbox]] indeed. The link to this page should be posted in the comments to this CNN story until further lulz are achieved.
[[Image:Ed asp petition.jpg|thumb|right|[http://www.petitions.com/petition/ED-As-Article/ ZOMG Petition against this article?] ]]
*The [http://www.livejournal.com/community/male_dom/749586.html?nc=29 male_dom community] on [[LiveJournal]] is 100% made up of [[self-diagnosed]] 'asspies'. When one poster says her partner has it, about 20 people chime in as having it as well, all self-diagnosed of course and many of them claiming to be [[autistic]] as well.
 
*[[1justin]] is self diagnosed with it, he's just as much of a faggot about it as everyone else, but assumes he is better than the rest. He wound up [[banned]] from the [http://www.livejournal.com/community/aspergers/ aspergers] [[community]] (which has since mysteriously been deleted and purged) for trying to point out to its members that most of them probably don't have it and that being proud about it is stupid, both of which appropriately apply to him.
 
*A [http://www.kuro5hin.org/poll/1084822952_IlaByqez poll on kuro5hin] in which 76% of respondents claim to have some form of Asperger's or autism. Yes. 76%.
 
* A large number of goons from the [[SomethingAwful]] forums claim to have aspergers. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbfBjo-Mw6U From the looks of things, most of them probably do].
 
*Everyone on [[FanFiction.Net]] claims to have Ass Burgers, Lysdexia, and/or ADHD; which begs the question, why are they writing?
 
*Everyone on DeviantART claims to have Asperger's, which means you can't criticize them or they'll get [[Butthurt|upset]], because [[Lies|they have a perfectly legitimate reason for why no-one should criticize their shit art.]]
 
*Everyone on [[TV Tropes]] claims to be an Aspergian [[Pervert|Sexual Fetish]]ist [[WTF|Polyromantic]] [[Asexual]].
 
* [[Kevin Havens]] has Asperger's ([[self-diagnosed]], of course) among many other problems, spends all of his [[money]] on [[McDonald's|junk food]] and sexdolls, and lives with his [[Cripple|crippled]] [[girlfriend]]. He collects a check for being her "caretaker" as well.
 
* [http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=778153 These poor women think their husbands have asspies] - [[No girls on the internet|ladies]], they're just <s>assholes</s> normal healthy men trying to make the best of a life trapped in a marriage with an over-emotional woman (I mean seriously! Not being "torn up inside" because you hear a child crying is not sufficient to form a diagnosis of asperger's syndrome!)
 
[[Image:Proforce.jpg|thumb|right|Well at least they both belong in a kitchen]]
* A Facebook group was created to protect females from being raped by Asspies. They were so [[butthurt]] they cried [[rape]] to Facebook and the group was deleted just so the Asspies would shut up!
 
* The Online Petition was invented by asspies, the only ones who seem to think that anyone gives even the slightest fuck about online petitions. So far, members of Asspies Against Freedom have already created 3 petitions to get Encyclopedia Dramatica taken offline. Unfortunately they don't seem to realize that when no one signs their crybaby petition, making another one is as effective at shutting down a privately owned website as sticking your dick in a light socket. Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different outcome?
 
* [[MySpace]] was also invented by an aspie, as evidenced by the constant itemized listing of friends and likes/dislikes.
 
==[[IRL]] Drama==
{{quote|I have a big confession: I have already written about the fact that my 9-year-old son was diagnosed in February 2005 with Asperger's Syndrome.|'''Suburban mother, smacking her gum with her lip glossed mouth''' - ''Confessing to her priest''}}
 
 
===Pwnt by Kindergardners: May 2008===
In [http://www.breitbart.com/video/2013/05/05/rep-chaffetz-your-going-to-hear-the-military-was-told-to-stand-down-on-benghazi/ this lulzy video][http://www.cbsnews.com/news/kindergartner-voted-out-by-students/ also here], an Aspie child named Alex, is totally [[pwnt|rejected]] by his kindergarten class. By a vote of 14 to 2, they decided to [[GTFO|kick him out of their class]] for his idiotic flailing Ass-pie behavior that was pissing them off. His mom then [[BAW|BAWWW'd]] on national television about "discrimination" while the Aspie mumbled incoherently in her lap, further proving that the children were right and the whiny parents were wrong. Naturally, a [[lolsuit]] is being planned.  The boy's mother was also a [[sick fuck]] and compared the teacher to [[Islam]]ic terrorists which is wrong because it is a favor to the normal children not to have a [[Nick Bate|shit smearing, masturbating]] child in the classroom; and Muslims actually kill people which is much worse than any minor teasing or ridicule.  Some people need to grow up and stop being [[fairies]].
 
Meanwhile, [[StumbleUpon]] [[loser|users]] [http://www.stumbleupon.com/url/www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/may/23/st-lucie-teacher-has-class-vote-whether-5-year-old/ call for the death penalty].
 
===Angry Letter: August 2013===
In this [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/19/karla-begley-autistic-letter-teen_n_3780378.html new report], another Aspie child named Max's mother receive an angry anonymous letter from someone who was totally fed up with her son's unusual Ass-pie behavior and decide to boldly put in the letter that she either move or euthanize him. The mother takes offense to the word "euthanize" and goes on to [[BAWWWWW]] on national television, CityNews, about the seemly harmless letter while referring her son as a "child". Like the story above, a [[lolsuit]] is being planned while conscientious neighbors show their condolence for the boy. Since then, the letter has been re-tweeted as many as 3,600 times on Twitter with many [[social justice]] [[moralfags]] jumping on the bandwagon for the glory.
 
==Treatment==
===For===
{{main|Action T4}}
[[File:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|200px|No wonder why [[America|this country]] is going to [[shit]].]]
 
Despite myths that there is no treatment for those with autism, the disorder is incredibly easy. Action T4 also exposes the many myths because autism and allows the patients and their caretakers to live happy lives instead of leeching off [[welfare]].
 
The best thing really for them to do is just keep quiet, until they can actually think before they talk, and think about how others feel. It will solve so many problems they put onto themselves. No one is going to care whether or not you have a setback in your life or that asperger's was at fault. All you're doing is saying that you're retarded.
 
===Against===
{{main|Asspies for Freedom}}
 
Contrary to the above, Asspies for Freedom are opposed to any form of treatment (even when it's clearly needed) and spread lies about their so-called condition to that they may appear normal, but at the same time deserve more respect than other people. Ironically by encouraging people to accept them as being fuckwits they encourage the [[holocaust|extermination of those with asperger's syndrome]] more than Action T4.
 
== [[Twitter|#ActuallyAutistic]] ==
Some crazy Twitfags went [[Butthurt]] about not being known about being a sperg because they were jealous of people not having Autism, because they think not having weakness automatically makes people better. Ironically, they cause more damage than intended, because it's right for the non-spergics to hate those faggots.
 
== Simulating Asperger's Syndrome ==
There are [[hipster]]s which are jealous of assburgers. They developed several methods to simulate this [[shit]].
=== tDCS (transcranial direct current stimulation) ===
If [[you]] are totally insane, you can put voltage onto your head to be an Aspie for [[at least 100]] minutes. Just power down your totally useless left cerebral hemisphere by putting -9V on it. Then your brain filters nothing anymore, you sense [[moar]] information, memorize every fucking shit and behave like a retarded Aspie. Who needs social life if we have the [[Internet]]?
 
Why buy expensive gear if you can use a cheap 9V battery? It doesn't matter if the electricity is uncontrolled and relatively weak.
 
A [[9fag]] hipster posted a manual for it [http://archive.fo/PPEky] so that [[retarded]] kiddies try it themselves. Be careful not to [[Suicide|electrocute]] yourself by flashing [[over 9000]]V through your retarded [[brain]].
 
<center><youtube>UK9_h5Iku64</youtube>
{{clear}}''Visualization of an autist mind''</center>
 
Popular conception: it is okay to shock your children if it is stimulating the part of the brain that makes them want to hug people more. Hooking up kids to a cerebral clockwork orange style setup where they have electrodes monitoring their brain's ability to focus on loony tunes and stock Vietnam war footage without thinking about their sad life for a moment or else the screen will slowly flicker into an ominous darkness is a very VERY effective and totally legitimate way to make your autistic child less likely to become Hitler.
 
==Asspie Videos==
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|<youtube>A5-vxllZiwI</youtube><center></center>
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==Gallery==
{{cg|The Retard Exhibition|aspiegallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:101509 1440-00-.jpg|Avoid at all costs.
Image:AspieAngryJerk.jpg|[[I came]]
Image:Aspie_Alligator.jpg|What Aspies do under stress
Image:Assburger.jpg|The best kind to have
Image:Asspieformal.jpg|Typical Aspie, notice the [[unwarranted self importance|smug]] grin.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Autism.jpg
Image:autism-asshole-disease-moral-demotivational-poster-funny-demoralize.JPG
Image:Sky walker.jpg|[http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/14/earlyshow/health/main4802860.shtml wut?]
File:Aspergerking.jpg
Image:Autism_-_Community_Chest_Card.jpg
Image:Autism_-_Throwing_Poo.jpg
Image:Autismsock.jpg|SUPER WAVE SMASHER
Image:Autistic_-_Assburgers.jpg|What ASSburgers looks like
Image:Autistic -Need To Be Kept In Cages.png|Aspies should always be kept in cages to keep them from harming themselves.
Image:Joeytheautist.gif|[[Joey The Autist]] caught on tape
Image:Autistic_-_Unique.jpg
Image:Caution_autistic.jpg|CAUTION
Image:Daxface1.jpg|[[Daxflame|Take a wild guess]]
Image:F_u.jpg | People with Asperger's usually have this attitude
Image:FatassTransfaggot.jpg|The rape smile
Image:zed stopbeingaretarddear.jpg|The one on the right is an aspie who's reached old-age. The one on the left is waiting for her sugar daddy to die so she could collect his insurance.
File:Cureautismreallyfast.png
Image:Finley98BestPictureEver.jpg|Time to play "spot the Asspie"!
Image:FlutieFlakes.jpeg|[http://www.flutiefoundation.org/Donate-Flutie-Flakes.asp Aspie brikfest of Champyons]
Image:Fuckinthursday.jpg|YOU TOOK IT TOO FAR THIS TIME GUYS
Image:Heartless Neighbor.jpg|Aspies not even welcome in the neighborhood because the majority can not put up with their unusual behavior any longer.
Image:Hairy_aspie.jpg|Beware the hypnotic allure of the asspie's eyes!
Image:Heinrich's one fucking facial expression.jpg|No [[Nazis|successful organization]] is complete without a hard-working Aspie.
Image:Mathnews-cover.jpg|These people do not have Asperger's. Fags, the lot of them.
Image:MBisanz May 2006.jpg|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MBisanz This Wikipedian] clearly is an aspie
Image:MonicaHalloweenWTF.jpg| A wild Aspie appears!
Image:Negi_Springfield_nudes.jpg|[[Negi_Springfield|Aspies are known to be gullible.]]
Image:Rapeguy.jpg|Typical Asspie at your school (in the back). In the front is just ASS.
Image:Retarded_-_Quantum_Shitting.png|Spergs require "special" toileting apparatuses.
Image:Retarded_-_Hug_Coat.jpg|A portable [[Hugbox]]
Image:Rtard.JPG|Typical Asspie being a asspie
Image:Scarychris.jpg|[[Chris-chan|The final boss of Asperger's syndrome]]
Image:YoutubeAsspieButthurtByED.jpg|[[Butthurt]] Aspies often gravitate towards YouTube to post their retarded videos.
File:Autism Boy.jpg
File:Autism Chimpout.gif
File:Assburgersindeed.jpg| Quite the specimens!
File:Chuggingaspie.jpg| A forever alone aspie drowning his loneliness away.
File:Mcautism.jpg
File:JudgeDrag.jpg|Move over Judge Dredd! Here comes Judge Fagg!
Image:BWAD.jpg| Brad Smith biggest aspie in IRL and online.
</gallery>}}
 
==Criminality==
Because of their inability to empathize, most Aspies are like [[psychopaths]], treating others as objects. Luckily thanks to low IQs and being all-round fuckwits they are quickly caught and [[prison|sent to a special place]] to get the [[Assrape|treatment they needed]]. [[Bubba]] has a thing for virgin white ass, so maybe their empathy will catch on as they [[Rape|bleed from the ass]].
 
Autistic (they call it "hate speech" since being [[politically correct]] is something they love to do) Asspies can't get along with people, so they end up doing true hate crimes (i.e. talking about things on groups of people at work, at school or at church) and real sex crimes anyway (esp. [[sexual harassment]]). There is no way they can't pick up dates.
 
In 1944, 50 years before the syndrome was officially invented, Dr Hans Asperger himself tried to warn humanity about the evil he had discovered. One of Hans Asperger's first scientific papers on Autism was titled [http://archive.fo/o9EUv "Autistic Psychopathy in Childhood"]. Some believe that A-Monsters may be the dark legacy of a [[Nazi]] experiment.
 
{{morphquote|crimes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
 
|Arguably, fire-related crimes are among the most frequently associated with hfASD [high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders]. In a previously discussed study, Siponmaa et al. reported that 10 (63%) of 16 crimes of arson were perpetrated by subjects with hfASD diagnoses.|A-ha! Now we know [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|how to get rid of them!]]
 
|Colleagues reported a similar case of a [[pedophile|27-year-old male who was arrested for sexual contact with a minor]] after the perpetrator went to the police station to report the minor had stolen his property. The perpetrator had a long history of inept social attempts to obtain sexual contact. These included taking neighbors shopping for lingerie and letting women use his home for drug transactions. He consented to having sex with a doll before a mocking audience in the hopes that the women in the audience might become aroused and decide to have sex with him.|"Play your cards right and this could be your ass I'm fucking!"
 
|Some cases of sexual serial killing, such as that of Jeffrey Dahmer, appear to involve repetitive dehumanization of people—viewing them as disposable objects or as objects that can be literally deconstructed, resulting in the mutilation of the victims.|Though quite happy to claim Edison was an asspie, the tables turn once necrophilic cannibals are brought up.
 
|Because persons with hfASD have difficulties appreciating the subjective experiences of other persons, there may be a lack of intersubjective resonance, or empathy.|They don't even say sorry, the shits.
 
|Colleagues reported an attempted murder by a 44-year-old man who shot the psychologist who was performing a child custody evaluation. The perpetrator feared the evaluation would be unfavorable, and [[do it faggot|he believed shooting the author of the evaluation would improve his chances of maintaining custody]]. Baron-Cohen described the case of 21-year-old John, who attacked others whenever his routine was disturbed.|Others will kill you and rape your corpse if you break their crayons.
 
|because every1 hates aspies we will kill the world every1 with autism aspergers adhd bipolar etc will kill you all!
   
we aspies will wipe nt's from the face of the earth|An [[User:Harry158|asspie user]] with no concept of irony.}}
 
===(In)Famous Autistic Criminals===
 
* A man who burned his house down with his wife and kid inside it so he could claim the insurance
* An old, fat substitute teacher who used to touch up his female students
* A faggot who enjoyed raping niggers in public toilets
* [[Nicky Reilly|A Muslim terrorist who blew himself up in a public restroom after accidentally locking himself in]].
* It has been revealed that [[Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting|Nikolas Cruz, the MSD gunman who massacred 17 people in an high school]], had Asperger's Syndrome and Mental Illness. People with Asperger's are very narcissistic and completely lack the ability to feel empathy (much like psychopaths). They are soulesss,  calculating, sexually frustrated "nerds" with no attachment to their fellow humans, and are highly prone to angry outbursts called "meltdowns". This creates the perfect recipe for a cold-blooded killing machine. Nothing short of Asperger's Syndrome allows a person to perpetrate such unthinkable acts.
* It has been revealed that [[Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre|Adam Lanza, the Sandy Hook gunman who massacred 20 children in an elementary school]], had Asperger's Syndrome. People with Asperger's are very narcissistic and completely lack the ability to feel empathy (much like psychopaths). They are soulesss,  calculating, sexually frustrated "nerds" with no attachment to their fellow humans, and are highly prone to angry outbursts called "meltdowns". This creates the perfect recipe for a cold-blooded killing machine. Nothing short of Asperger's Syndrome allows a person to perpetrate such unthinkable acts.
* [[Elliot Rodger]], the guy who went on a massacre in Isla Vista because he couldn't get laid.
* [[Chris Chan|Christian Weston Chandler]] Raped his Dementia suffering [[Your Mom|Mother]] and bragged about it on a telephone interview, getting him sent to the [[Jail|Pokey]]
 
===Aspergian Girls===
For some reason, over ¾ (75% or 80% or whatever) of diagnosed persons in the Autism Spectrum Disorder range are men. About a quarter (that's 20-22-25%) are women, whom stand apart from other girls, ladies and females. They are like men in a woman's body, but aspieutistic boys are like girls. See also: transies, as in trans[[gender]]ed, trans[[sexual]] and transvestite. Like their male counterparts, they can't get dates and are fawking smart, and she can't have a brain ya know.
 
==How to properly deal with someone who has autism==
[[The best]] way to deal with some who has assburgers is to [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|kill them with fire]], before they manage to reproduce and override the majority population of normal people. Of course there are alternate methods that can be used:
 
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|v|background:none|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>f1nIlFCAXFo</youtube>
|<youtube>8t90lHXQRsE</youtube>}}
|}
 
== Famous Asburgerers on ED ==
[[File:Autism stop posting boxer.jpg|thumb|300px|right|The never-ending fight against autism]]
[[Image:Asperger king.png|thumb|[[Chris-chan|There can be only one.]]]]
[[Image:Suffer.gif|thumb|When dousing your eyes with bleach isn't enough.]]
 
* [[AkewsticRockR]]
* [[Alexander4488]] &ndash; Also known as Game Dude, the biggest [[AVGN]] [[rip-off]] and disgrace to [[video game reviewers]] and dudes everywhere.
* [[AniMat]]
* [[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
* [[April Davis]]
* [[Armake21]]
* [[Beefrave]]
* [[Bill9929]]
* [[Bill Gates]]
* [[BlueCatRiolu]] &ndash; Views his fetish art at school and constantly wants attention from others by making journals on [[DeviantArt|DA]].
* [[Brandon Fleury]]
* [[ButLova]] &ndash; The world's biggest big butt lover of [[pedophile|any age]]. Also has no art talent.
* [[Camhead]] &ndash; A dog-fucking YTPer who used his autism as an excuse after getting outed as a [[Pedophilia |kiddy-fucker]].
* [[Chris-chan]] &ndash; No comment.
* [[Clayranger89]]
* [[ColonelDecon]]
* [[Conner Hemming]]
* [[CopperCab]]
* [[cyndilovespiccolo]] &ndash; This girl [[Talk:Cyndilovespiccolo|actually learned something]] from getting trolled and got over herself.
* [[David Vincenzetti]] - L. Ron Hubbard wannabe / [[Brett Keane]] clone.
* [[Daxflame]]
* [[Dev-catscratch]]
* [[DisneyFan01]]
* [[DrMusic2]]
* [[Drp1zza]]
* [[The Eclectic Espeon]]
* [[Elliot Rodger]] &ndash; or the supreme gentleman of the Isla Vista's sorority row.
* [[PissedOffAngryGamer|Eric Abramov]] &ndash; A [[Jewish]]/[[Christian]]/[[Russian]] perverted sumo wrestler.
* All [[Finland|Finnish]] people
* [[Flaglerchat]]
* [[Flardox]]
* [[GalaxyRailways2199]]
* [[Game2Winter]] &ndash; An autism supremacist.
* [[Hothead the mare]]
* [[Inmendham]]
* [[Jared Milton]]
* [[Jawsus]]
* [[Joseph8276]]
* [[Jeffrey Hyde]]
* [[JustinRPG]] &ndash; Pokemon obsessed manchild with many gross fetishes. Says he's married to a Pokemon Reshiram.
* [[KaBlamBandicoot64]]
* [[Kelseyalicia]]
* [[Kevin Havens]]
* [[Kingcobrajfs]] &ndash; the sexiest goth you've ever seen.
* [[KingMasterReview]]
* [[LadyALT69]]
* [[LittleCloud]] &ndash; ED's most wanted, despite 1 out of 90 auties/aspies are female, and (s)he can't make up his/her mind on her sexuality.
* [[M. Chaos]]
* [[Mark Zuckerberg]]
* [[Mariotehplumber]]
* [[Matthew Davis]]
* [[Meta527II]]
* [[Michael Gimson]]
* [[MylarBalloonFan]] &ndash; An asspie obsessed with balloon fetishes and 90's stuff.
* [[MysteriousMrEnter]] &ndash; An asspie who specializes in overanalyzing children's cartoons.
* [[MysticArk]] &ndash; Not the Japanese SNES game Mystic Ark.
* [[Nickolas Cruz|Nick Cruz]]
* [[Nihilistic Snake]]
* [[Omegalore]]
* [[Onigojirakaiju]]
* [[PissedOffVideoGamer]]
* [[Pokemon|Satoshi Tajiri]]
* [[R3x|r3x]]
* [[Randomlaughingman]] &ndash; A dangerously autistic [[trap|"female"]].
* [[Randy Stair]] &ndash; If Elliot Rodger was more of a virgin [[brony]] obsessing over Danny Phantom.
* [[RavenNG]]
* [[Rockosocko]] &ndash; A fart fetish role playing furry with no art talent.
* [[RuffnRoboticGiusep]] &ndash; Aspie Nazi [[diaperfag]].
* [[LeisureSuitGaming|SilentRob]]
* [[SammyClassicSonicFan]] &ndash; An asspie obbessed with Sonic
* [[SaturnDOS]]
* [[Shane Lee]]
* [[Sonmanic]]
* [[Spax3]]
* [[superlisamcb]]
* [[Tammi Reynolds]]
* [[ToonEGuy]]
* [[Travis The Hipster]]
* [[Trigglypuff]]
* [[Wesley!!!]]
* [[UltimateUKFFFan]]
* <s>[[You]]</s> You're not famous.
 
==Trolling Aspies==
In the Internet hierarchy, Aspies ([[Weeaboo|and]] [[Furry|their]] [[Sonic The Hedgehog|many]] [[Brony|branches]]) are at the rock bottom of the food chain, far below even [[niggers]] and [[feminist]]s. Aspies are the [[lolcow]] of the human race and should be milked as such. For an example of how Encyclopedia Dramatica milked an aspie for all his worth, just see the Trolls section on [[Chris-chan]]. [[Lulz]] is pretty much the only reason why we let aspies survive, because otherwise once they become [[unfunny]] then we should have [[Action T4|just put them out of their misery]].
 
*Remind them of their disability and cite APA 32.7. They hate being proven wrong.
*Refuse them special treatment. Hilarity ensues.
*Refer them to Wikipedia. All Aspies hate Wikipedia due to the only lulzy article they have (High Functioning Autism)
*Cite them as WP:personal. Anything Wikipedia will result in hilarity.
*IRC Trolling: Guard Lowered in Under 10 Minutes (<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-irctrolling showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">Collapse</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">Expand</span></span>]</span>)
*Tell them that Hitler had assburgers
*Ask them if they really have burgers up their asses.
*Ask if they can help you get a burger in your ass too
*<s>Tell them that they are no different to [[Chris-chan|Chris-chan.]]</s> Not recommended, since he has committed [[incest]] and rape.
*Say anything remotely negative about any subject or topic. Asspies will pretend they are in the group you mocked and fake being [[offended]] for [[Attention whores|attention]].
*Tell their ass off that they're insane psychopaths.
*Tell them that Einstein apparently having assburgers doesn't automatically make their lazy asses 'geniuses'
*Remind them that nearly all school shooters are aspies
*'''Their greatest weakness is when their antics are directly mimicked and used against them'''
**If everyone is an object then the autist is the gayest, most socially inept [[Ayn Rand|John Galt]] in the room. No exceptions
 
<div id="mw-customcollapsible-irctrolling" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
'''WARNING:''' This shit is surprisingly easy to do despite them being able to "spot obvious impostors". Just make up something that sounds plausible and go for it. They also turn on each other pretty quickly:
 
<pre>
[23:57] --> You have joined the channel #asperger ([email protected]).
[23:57] *** The channel topic is "Channel ONLY for people with Autism, Asperger's or a related condition. Homepage: http://asperger.inlv.org".
[23:57] *** The topic was set by Gareethafk on 10/20/11 11:36 AM.
[23:57] *** Channel modes: private, topic protection, no messages from outside
[23:57] *** This channel was created on 05/09/04 06:12 AM.
[23:57] <CharlesR> hi MrAsperger are you new here?
[23:57] <MrAsperger> yes i just found the site
[23:58] <CharlesR> please introduce yourself
[23:58] * CharlesR is a 60 yr old unemployed radio broadcast engineer and old style pre-computer radio nerd near Youngstown, Ohio, USA, diagnosed Asperger syndrome, never married, living alone with dog, Jenny
[23:58] * phyre pounces on gandalf
[23:59] <phyre> What are you doing up?
[23:59] <MrAsperger> well, i'm a 28-year-old freelance computer programmer from Los Angeles, not yet diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but self-suspected, and single but living alone
[23:59] <MrAsperger> that about sums me up
[00:00] <torako> single BUT living alone? "living alone" does not contradict "single
[00:00] <torako> :
[00:00] <torako> *"
[00:00] <MrAsperger> i'm shy and nervous around new people
[00:00] <MrAsperger> if i make stupid mistakes, i'm sorry
[00:00] <MrAsperger> i get flustered easily
[00:00] <CharlesR> thanks and welcome MrAsperger
[00:00] <MrAsperger> thank you
[00:01] <torako> are you hans asperger?
[00:01] <Gareethafk> He's dead.
[00:01] <MrAsperger> then it would be kind of difficult
[00:01] <torako> are you related to hans asperger?
[00:01] <Gareethafk> And would be considerably older than 28
[00:01] <phyre> Oh, we all make stupid mistakes.  Some of us just enjoy being nitpicky, myself included. :P
[00:01] <MrAsperger> I understand, phyre
[00:01] <Gareethafk> Don't let torako fluster you
[00:01] <torako> i'm not fluster-ing
[00:02] <phyre> That hyphen isn't necessary.
[00:02] <MrAsperger> and no, i'm not related to him
[00:02] <torako> MrAsperger: then what's up with your nick?
[00:02] <phyre> He just likes it.  Sheesh.
[00:02] <MrAsperger> pretty much
[00:02] <torako> but he's not mr. asperger
[00:02] <MrAsperger> i'm a male
[00:02] <phyre> You're not an actual tiger cub, so what's up with yours, torako?
[00:02] <torako> torako is a name
[00:02] <MrAsperger> phyre has a point
[00:03] <torako> and tora was my nickname in junior high
[00:03] <torako> that's why
[00:03] <phyre> I'm not an actual misspelled chemical reaction.
[00:03] <torako> yes you are
[00:03] <MrAsperger> mrs.oxygen would love that one
[00:03] <dfy> since when is it appropriate to quiz people about the origin of nicks
[00:03] <phyre> Oh crap, my secret is out!
[00:03] <torako> dfy: since your face
[00:03] <phyre> Since when is half of what you say appropriate either, dude?
[00:03] * Gareethafk is an adult with autism who lives in BC, Canada with her dog, cat and assorted fish and her lovely computer.
[00:03] <T`Ver> good night everyone
[00:03] <phyre> Good night.
[00:03] <MrAsperger> good night
[00:03] * Gareethafk faints from the on topic comment by dfy
[00:04] <phyre> Heh.
[00:04] <torako> haha
[00:04] <-- T`Ver has left this server.
[00:05] <CharlesR> torako, not tora tora tora?
[00:05] <torako> CharlesR: no...
[00:05] <MrAsperger> tora tora bora bora?
[00:05] <phyre> I think that movie is older than her.
[00:05] <torako> i like tigers, what's why that was my nickname
[00:05] <phyre> Plus it's annoying to say.
[00:06] <CharlesR> i mean the origin oif the movies name
[00:06] <phyre> Annnd I have no idea what that is.
[00:06] <torako> and it's better than the username i was using for stuff before
[00:06] --> Gerrit has joined this channel ([email protected]).
[00:06] *** CStar gives channel operator privileges to Gerrit.
[00:06] <phyre> Your Neopets nick?
[00:06] <torako> yeah
[00:06] <phyre> Yeah, that's pretty lame.
[00:06] <torako> it's really derpy XD
[00:06] <torako> i was a little kid okay??
[00:06] <CharlesR> the report from the first japanese pilot who bombed pearl harbor
[00:07] <Gerrit> Good morning.
[00:07] <CharlesR> it was code for "full surpiise achieved"
[00:07] <torako> CharlesR: he said "tiger tiger tiger"? i fail to see how that's relevant
[00:07] <CharlesR> codes often are not relevant
[00:08] <phyre> Which is kind of the point.
[00:08] <torako> also wait you're calling me a WWII bomber? wtf?
[00:08] <torako> dude fuck you too
[00:08] <MrAsperger> 8===================================================D
[00:08] <MrAsperger> LOL DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG
[00:08] <MrAsperger> COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS
[00:08] <CharlesR> you know better than that torako
[00:08] <MrAsperger> 8===================================================D
[00:08] <torako> hm a troll?
[00:08] <phyre> what an original troll
[00:08] <CharlesR> MrAsperger?
</pre>
</div>
 
== Autism Acceptance Month==
At last, an insecure Sperg has had enough of your [[Shit|shit]], so they made this shitty month. Examples of these people are narcissistic pricks and [[Twatter|Twitter users]].
 
==See Also==
*[[Action T4]]
*[[Asperchu]]
*[[Aspies for Freedom]]
*[[Aspierations]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism macros]]
*[[Bronies]]
*[[Barron Trump]]
*[[Capital Gazette Shooting]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[CyberDemon531]]
*[[EVE Online]]
*[[Elevator Filming]]
*[[Fedora]] - What Asspies tend to wear
*[[Fedora]] - [[Lunix]] for Asspies.
*[[FoolQuest.com]]
*[[Leaderfag]]
*[[The Loud House]] fans
*[[Love Shy]]
*[[Malber]]
*[[Matthew Nicholson]]
*[[Minecraft]]
*[[Mong]]
*[[Neurodiversity]]
*[[Psychochondria]]
*[[Rape]]
*[[Retard]]
*[[The R Word]]
*[[Sandy Hook]]
*[[Sceptre]]
*[[Spergin]]
*[[Monica Punk]]
*[[Stoofoo.net]]
*[[School shooting]]
*[[Takedownman]]
*[[The Transit Coalition]]
*[[TV Tropes]]
*[[Ulillillia]]
*[[WAXLABLTABLER]]
*[[YouTube Thomas Club]]
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[SWAuTistic]]
*[[Unikitty]]
 
==External Links==
 
*[http://efukt.com/21227_Autism_Abuse.html Autism Abuse.]
*[http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt90292.html Read it and weep: The truth about Asperger's Syndrome]
*[http://zacbrowser.com/ ZAC Browser: The games aspies' moms make them play]
*[http://archive.fo/vpCYF Asspie dating]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1277646/Zefri123 A typical Asspie (Zefri the Angel Boy!!!!11)]
*[http://archive.fo/OMZjR Asspie trollficcer doing it so very wrong. Or are they?!]
*[http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html lol asspie congregation (exception to the power in numbers rule here)]
*[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/ Aspies for Freedom]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/love_autism/346770 The official I have Autism button. BUY BUY BUY]
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1116602/Why-face-truth-Having-autistic-child-wrecks-life-.html Daily Mail] explains why autistic children need to be [[Abortion|aborted]] ([[screencap]] [[:Image:Daily Mail Supports Autism Abortion.jpg|here]]).
*{{fa|autisticfurs|Autistic Furries}}
*[http://www.jonathans-stories.com/non-fiction/undiagnosing.html A good article disproving that Bill Gates, Albert Einstein and Thomas Jefferson had autism]
*{{facebook|ryan.santone.9|Ryan the ass pie raped two bitches with his curved penis and thinks he's hero.}}
*[http://creativethoughts.wikia.com/wiki/User:Jon825lazery7?oldid=8615 In his natural habitat]
*[https://www.facebook.com/brad.smith.58958 The biggest aspie you'll ever encounter very lulzy, indeed]
 
 
{{aspies}}
{{Dying alone}}
{{Psychology}}
{{Disease}}
{{top16}}
{{Timeline|Featured article April 11, [[2005]]|[[MySpace]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Pro-Ana]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article November 16, [[2005]]|[[Cracky-chan]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Anna 4 avril]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 14th and 15th, [[2012]]|[[Handegg]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Jared Milton]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now April 5 & 6, [[2023]]|[[Audrey Hale]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Catholic]]}}
{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] April 3 & 4, [[2024]]|[[Loser]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Sailor Moon]]}}
 
 
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Revision as of 16:15, 25 August 2024

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please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.
A typical aspie.
Aspiers are characterized by extreme self-neglect, domestic squalor, social withdrawal, apathy, compulsive hoarding of garbage, and lack of shame.
You too can show off your defective offspring with this button!
The Brony fandom is the largest mass collection of Ass Pies on the internet and IRL.

Ass Burgers Syndrome is a term that grew out of the wild and competitive "Publish or Perish" medical research establishment. A certain kike named Dr. Hans Asperger, due to his Jew instinct to make up nonexistent diseases to scam otherwise normal people out of their money, had the brilliant idea of putting all the psychopaths with little or no social skills in one group and diagnosed them with a new mental illness: AUTISM. (The name itself is a euphemism for what he called "Autistic Sociopaths"). Like all mental illness there is absolutely no physical evidence that it actually exists, but for expecting parents it replaces Down's Syndrome as the number one disorder they fear their child will develop. It differs from High Functioning Autism in that it was considered utter bullshit before it was popular to invent psychiatric disorders.

The use of this card has been getting Chris-Chan out of trouble since 1982

Asperger-monsters are the most self-centered, selfish pieces of shit on the planet. Devoid of empathy, social reasoning, social context, or self-awareness, they are sociopaths with another definition, who live to collect and catalog meaningless items like barcodes, bottletops, and plastic crap by any means possible including murder. Common symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome include failing at social interaction and empathy, failing at communication, failing at getting a job, failing at life, failing at hygiene, becoming obsessed with animu or video games, and breaking out into fits of Stress™ when their strict routines are broken or when they're asked to stop being lazy, self-serving leeches living off the government and their parents.

For these reasons, Asperger's Syndrome has greatly eclipsed ADHD as the popular diagnosis of choice for pretty much every group of retards on the internet. It is of no coincidence then that all people with Asperger's Syndrome are fugly.

Interestingly, the effects of long-term neglect in early childhood are nearly identical to Asperger's Syndrome, which itself can be fairly compared to psychopathy and sociopathy. This proves to be a good argument for drastic measures. Be sure to thank the nearest Aspie for drawing Sonic the Hedgehog porn rather than killing and eating neurotypicals (with chicken tendies on the side).

Asperger's Syndrome remains the one of the most compelling argument for eugenics ever established. Examples of famous people with assburgers are Muhammad, Albert Einstein, Al Gore, L. Ron Hubbard, Jay Leno, Abraham Lincoln, Mark Zuckerberg, Hitler, and the Japanese.


Assburgers on the Internets


AssBurger has become a fad for those seeking to garner attention unto themselves. In a hallowed tradition of disease whores everywhere, many of today's youth expertly design a disease which kills two birds with one stone by:

  1. Assuming others are born normal rather than work at it, giving the self-proclaimed Asspie an excuse not to make an effort to develop social skills, and
  2. Assuming they were born smart, rather than merely having had more exposure to books and computers because no one wanted to be around them.

Want to find out if you can justify your failed life with Asperger's? Take the test!

Also known as ...

Jobs for Aspies (too bad they don't work).
  • A-Monsters
  • Ass Burgers
  • Assburgerers
  • Assburpers
  • Asspie Syndrome
  • BAWWWWWtism
  • Badly in need of an ass whooping. Yes, most Asspies can be cured with some discipline and a belt to their ass.
  • Butt Sandwich's Syndrome
  • Cerebral lawlzy
  • H.I.T.M.E. (kinda like HIV is to AIDS, this is to the A.U.T.I.S.M.)
  • High-functioning autism
  • Loltism
  • Flawtism
  • The My White Kid I pay no attention to is special syndrome.
  • NOTism
  • Retarded People Syndrome
  • Spergs
  • Subhuman meat calculator's

Assburgers on ED

It's common knowledge that asspies don't give two shits about anything but themselves. Asspies are selfish, narcissistic assholes who expect the motherland to feel remorse for putting up such an offensive article. However, they don't give even the slightest fuck about women, nigras, homosexuals, WTC, abortion, animal abuse politics, or anything that doesn't relate to people licking their burger-asses. So, being typical faggots, they do what they do best: bitch and moan.

It should also be noted that asspies tend to compare themselves to famous asspies in history, failing to realize that those people succeeded in life and aren't basement dwelling rejects. So the next time you hear an asspie compare himself to Einstein, feel free to redirect him to Chris-chan but more importantly, remind them that Einstein was very capable of getting laid and was also well known for his sexual conquests. Furthermore, Einstein wasn't some fat ass piece of shit who used the Assburgers' excuse to get out of gym class but was rather adept at soccer and other sports.

They also posthumously diagnose people like Einstein, who might very well have fucking hated and rejected the idea of "aspergers" on both logical and ethical grounds. It is also interesting to note that they only ever diagnose with Assburgers deceased historical figures who are overwhelmingly considered history's 'good guys' - you will never hear these people claim that Hitler or Caligula were asspies, despite what some historians now believe.

Assburgers is a made-up disease, most common in overachieving middle-class families, because little Johnny is either a social outcast, or is just acting fucking retarded. The parents diagnose their child, and the "doctors" go along with and encourage it because of the money it generates for them. It's a self-perpetuating cycle. Fuckers. The truth is, the Assburgers diagnosis has become popular with parents because they need a good excuse as to why their "retarded children are dumb faggots who will be dying alone."

Common Symptoms

"ASS PIES" are recognizable because of the light bulbs shooting out from their skulls. They also all have the exact same expression IRL.
This person has assburgers.
A typical aspie fapping in an improvised hugbox.
Autism speaks.
Typical names used by aspies on the internet.

The diagnostic criteria were established by John Harvey Kellogg in 1888 and consist of the following:


If you have any of the symptoms listed above, or if you have taken the linked test, then you are DEFINITELY an Asspie, and need to "come out" to your flist about your "special gift" NOW, while immediately affixing the appropriate pro-asspie userboxes to your Wikipedia admin page so that people know never to argue with you, ever, because that would be discrimination. Some brave Asspie named Jeremy orkin (username:godhatesautism) came out of the closet and told everyone that Asspie retards are dumb faggots. He was most likely killed by Zionist Asspie CIA agents.

Autism is one of the three most common acts of attention whoring/e-drama. The other two are Death (specifically suicide) and being Pregnant (especially teen pregnancies, which is where most asspies come from, funnily enough).

Autismals feature an exoskeleton, a segmented body, and jointed appendages. They replace their cuticle periodically by moulting. Unlike most animals, autismals are very successful in dry environments with abundant sand they can count and then turn into transistors. Their internal organs are generally built of repeated segments. Autismal vision relies on various combinations of compound eyes and pigment-pit ocelli. Autismals have a wide range of chemical and mechanical sensors. The evolutionary ancestry of autismals dates back to the Cambrian period. Autismals first appeared in the fossil record approximately 535 million years ago and there are many exceptionally preserved specimens, which all autismals can immediately identify and tell you all about for hours if not days. Autismals contribute to the human species as anal know-it-alls, and more importantly as a source of lulz. Some specific species are known to spread severe disease to humans, livestock, and crops. Facebook is a highly contagious infection that spreads easily through coughs and sneezes. Nine out of ten people who are not immune who share living space with an infected person will catch it.

An autistic manbaby, displaying all the symptoms of the disease.

Asspie national anthem

   
 

If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)
If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)
If you're an Aspie and you know it your complex body motions show it
If you're an Aspie and you know it flap your hands (flap flap)

 


 
 

—Aspie national anthem

When Aspies are happy and they know it, they will take the time and liberty to record themselves laughing like a demented maniac because of their immense egotism.

Having Asperger's Syndrome

. . . As Covering Up for Being a Total Retard

How shit gets diagnosed in flow-chart/state machine format.

Some close-knit communities of "people", such as furries, plushies, and otherkin possess such distorted views of reality as to be particularly susceptible to forming a belief that their ostracism is due to victimization by outside factors. They will not infrequently claim to have Assburger's or be Autistic en masse, often finding some way to tie its manifestations into the fact that they are social misfits. The truth is, though, that they're just complete assholes and fail at proper expression of affection. In certain instances, having "Assburger's" seems to be correlated with the posting of disgusting and semi-nude pictures of yourself frequently on the internet and local AIDS awareness seminars, or writing highly disturbed fanfiction. Additionally, it is not unheard of for these individuals to claim multiple, even superficially seemingly incompatible diagnoses of a plethora of diseases -- possibly claiming anorexia, ADHD, autism, Asperger's, schizophrenia, PTSD, OCD, and anything else they've ever read about or seen on CSI.

. . . As an excuse for violent crime

There have been many examples of Assburger's being an excuse for murder, rape or other violent crime recently. For example, Nicky Reilly, an Aspie with the IQ of a 10-year-old, had attempted to bomb a cafe for his Allah in the UK. His lawyers then bawled about Asperger's Syndrome and his mental retardation. Also, John Odgren has made national news for murdering a classmate in a wealthy town in Massachusetts. He has used Asperger's Syndrome as a defense with moderate success. And in developing news at this time of writing, loli stabber and nigger Axel Muganwa Rudakubana has been reported as having been diagnosed with assburgers, which will inevitably lead to him proudly exclaiming "I dindu nuffin! It wuz da autizms!" to the judge, and no doubt result in a lighter sentence.

Einstein was an Aspie, so that makes me special!

   
 
There is a general impression that Asperger's syndrome carries with it superior intelligence and a tendency to become very interested in and preoccupied with a particular subject.
 

 
 

— A retard making excuses. Explains why asspies are passionate about doing nothing.

   
 
This condition can make people depressed or suicidal, so if we can find out how to make things easier for them, that’s worthwhile.
 

 
 

— Simon Baron-Cohen on the real reason why he diagnosed Einstein as autistic.

Urine bomb, another proud Asspie invention

Websites such as this try to facilitate the asspie myth that some of history’s most famous geniuses and philosophers had the condition. People such as Albert Einstein (of course), Ludwig van Beethoven, and Wolfgang Mozart all supposedly had the affliction despite a lack of evidence to prove this. Yes, all the whiny, self-diagnosed people you have read about on this page have all the untapped creative energy that Thomas Edison had. Unfortunately, none of them appear to have any of the talents Einstein did tap into, (which just happen to be the good ones). All of the things mentioned by the site are part of the conspiracy by those with Asperger's Syndrome to show that the disease is at the higher end of the autistic spectrum. Coincidentally though, most of the people who they listed have been dead for years so there is no way of telling if they had the disease or not. It's also funny how they pick the most prolific and recognizable people of the era's to classify as autistic, which any historian would either act rationally and give educated analysis on why this isn't true, or just jump on the bandwagon to avoid soccer moms that would have them fired for life and left on the streets to die for being a functioning human being.

Asspies are responsible for all the evil in history

In Soviet Russia, autism has YOU

Whenever you look through history at all the horrid things that have happened, you can probably find an Asspie that was responsible for them. The Nazi's were all Asspies. Adolf Hitler was an Asspie (sauce) as can be discerned by his manner of speech where he flailed his arms around. Obersturmbannführer Adolf Eichmann was an asspie; he basically kept track of every single Jew in the Third Reich and German-occupied territories(basically most of Europe) to excruciating detail. Reichsführer-SS Himmler was definitely an Asspie as can be seen by his blank Asspie stare. The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, Serial Killers Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer were also Asspies. Adam Lanza was an asspie; he mass murdered 20 kids and 7 women at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Joshua Goldberg AKA "moonmetropolis" who wanted to bomb the 9/11 memorial was an Autistic.

Asspies are often rapists. An example is the Revenge of the Nerds movie, where the main sperg, who is such a nice guy, rapes that stupid sorority slut in disguise. She then grows a brain and realizes that she should owe him for being a Beta.

Asspies have very good analytical skills, but they can only apply them to dehumanizing military and nonrenewable energy technologies. Asspies built the efficiently-designed concentration camps and gas showers in Nazi Germany. Asspies invented the oil rig (especially the one that exploded near Texas), the oil well, and natural gas factories. They invented the Hummer, the Cadillac Escalade, and the Prius. Logging machines are built with an "autistic mindset".

All the military technologies in the world were invented by Asspies, including the software. The Atomic bomb, which Einstein advocated for and killed millions of civilians, was built using Autistic analysis. Every tank, every gun (ESPECIALLY the AK-47) and every missile was designed by an autistic individual. The forcible cattle slaughter machines were built by asspies (which Temple Grandin also built, she didn't admit it though). Chernobyl and Three Mile Island were products of autistic design. Military submarines and carriers were designed using autistic innovation. So were military computers. The stealth bomber was invented by sneaky asspies. All the military helicopters were designed using autistic math. Agent orange, which killed millions. was designed by autists.

Coal-powered power plants were built using autistic science and engineering. Dangerous mining machines were built by unempathetic autistics. Gas stations that produce excessive fumes were invented by them. All the pollution in the world is because of autism. Actually, if it wasn't for autism, we would have clean air, renewable energy, and would live to the age of 80. There would be no violence whatsoever.

Asspie Dating

Aspie "couples" love My Little Pony.

As they are socially retarded, Asspies do not know the proper way to get a girlfriend or boyfriend even though they are very attracted to hawt. Therefore, they will do stupid things that make them look like rapists. Common Ass Burgers Syndrome sufferers often use the following methods.

Despite their internet addiction, most Asspies are completely unaware of the best way to bypass all these challenges: using a dating website! Those websites allow even the most pathetic losers to develop relationships with women, but most Asspies are so arrogant and set in their ways that they would much rather use the creepy methods above that could get them arrested.

The Legend of Hugbox Island

Unremarkable retards perform their special tribal dance used to summon Neptune, or some shit.

Surely you are thinking after reading all of this "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?". Or alternatively, "that sounds just like me" (if the latter describes you, you should immediately administer a bullet to your head; if symptoms persist, please ask someone else to administer the bullet for you).

The Legend:
About 2000 years ago, Antarctica was a very nice and warm continent, and millions of people lived there. But in year 1337, an epidemic of Asperger's Syndrome started in Antarctica, and nearly every newborn baby was an asspie.
First, that wasn't a real problem: Because everyone was an asspie, that was called normal. But then one of them invented an electrically powered Hugbox, and almost every inhabitant of Antarctica wanted to have one.
So, they needed huge amounts of electricity to power all the hugboxes.
But there also was a solution for this problem: The inventor of the hugbox also invented a machine which converts the ambient heat into electricity (although this is called impossible by modern physics).
For the asspies, that was the perfect solution: They weren't sensitive to cold weather and they needed the power for the hugboxes. The power generators cooled Antarctica so much that the ground began to freeze, and ice crusts began building up. That was no problem, from now on the asspies simply built their hugboxes and generators on the ice.
But they forgot that the ice rose over the oceans and made the fish inaccessible for them. So, all the asspies didn't get food and died.

Quotes are as follows

   
 
Many, Many eons in the past, this new civilization was founded, building great towers and dwellings, and thriving in a social structure, very different to that which we observe today. The Aspergians celebrated an individual's uniqueness and devotion to their cause. They taught their young that each and every person is born with a very specific talent, their "special gift", which they must identify if they are to live a full and fulfilling life.


Translation: "A place THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT ATLANTIS existed over 9000 years ago, where MOM AND THE TEACHERS WOULDN'T MAKE ME DO SHIT, and so I heard about this 'special gift' and because of that I can be a lazy douchebag from Atlantis even though unlike 'the man' I do not have webbed feet, and further, I am not good looking like Patrick Duffy, and even further still, I like to employ douchebag phrases such as 'and further' and 'even further still'..."

 


 
 

—Most asspies are also otherkin.

   
 
The Aspergians did not build their dwellings close to each other. They had a complex social structure which allowed individuals to invest most of their seeker years in searching for their destiny, and most of their time as initiated in fulfilling it. This helped their culture to achieve great things.


Translation: "NO ONE DID SHIT AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE SO FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD. OM NOM NOM"

 


 
 

—Wait - "complex social structure"? They can barely understand facial expressions.

   
 
It may be that the tales of the great flood, all go back to the Aspergian story. After the civilization of Aspergia survived for millennia without danger or strife, the ocean itself sought its own destiny and found that it had to take over the land on which the Aspergians lived. The water rose and rose, until there was no doubt that Aspergia would cease to exist within a short period of time.


Translation: "MOM AND DAD CAME AND SAID TO DO CHORES."

 


 
 

—(Translators note: After reading this we now suspect DivineAngel to be the author of said website)

   
 
The Aspergians were not ever faced with the task of building a boat that was bigger than for the purpose of local fishing. Other than the oft told story of the great Son of Aspergia, who set to sea in search of other lands, and was never seen again, they had not dared try and go beyond the borders of the visible waters, because they knew there were great currents there; currents which take you to sea and never let you return.


Translation: "????" Stolen from The Legend of Zelda because even though teh Asper is not a real condition, a complete lack of any creativity or imagination is known to characterize all teh Aspers (otherwise they would invent their own condition rather than ripping off some bald, drunk and dateless loser's failed joke).

 


 
 

—Verily.

   
 
The peoples they came across were very different to them: they valued a sort of constant Communitude, they were afraid of their destiny, and were afraid of being alone or pursuing their talents. But the Aspergians were a minority everywhere they went,. and their nature dictated that they integrate, and learn the ways of the land.


Translation: "They found people who did scary things, like use words properly, and mocked others for being lazy and stupid."

 


 
 

—This apparently destroy REAL civilization.

   
 
Their story was swallowed into the general mythology, and made a part of human heritage.


Translation: "We ArE BeTtEr ThEn U!!1!1, and our Aspers stops all the boys in the yard, our disease is better than yours, we can teach you how but we'll have to charge, our disease is better than yours."

 


 
 

—Fuck history. WE know history.

   
 
In some periods of history, Aspergian manifestations were hunted down and destroyed. Aspergian women burned at the stake as witches, Aspergian inventors and creative minds persecuted for daring to be different. There were Aspergians who discovered a destiny-talent for design and formulation, and secretly created ancient Aspergian symbols in crop circles. There are Aspergians that are Gazers to this day, watching for trains, planes, boats or searching for life in outer space. These traits are so different to "normal" human ones that they persisted through their genes.


Translation: "We ripped off some more shit, yeah, we're going to say Albert Einstein was one of us even though he had few communication problems and did a lot of hard work, and we are just lazy introverted slobs blaming everything on genetics which might not even exist." (Remember kids, autism isn't always genetic, it is commonly caused by being spoiled, boredom, and/or being a bitch, coupled with unsupervised access to Wikipedia).

 


 
 

Hitler as an asspie too.

   
 
Autistic culture holds a concept that autism, as a unique way of being, should be embraced and appreciated, not shunned or cured. Many autistic individuals prefer being alone to socializing. Some autistic people appreciate mathematics, science, and computers (although it should be noted that while such interests are found in a larger portion of the autistic population than the neurotypical population, there are also many autistic people who have no special talents in these areas). Some even have a fascination with writing their shitty blogs. Many autistic people describe the belief of relating to aliens.


Translation: We don't know how to be liked, so we'll pretend we're special instead!

 


 
 

—Just like Hitler's fanboys.

And not only do they insist on having their own made-up, bullshit history, that they failed to own or make up themselves, but rather quilted together from collected bits and bobs created by non-Aspers, Assburglers also have to have their own culture. Even worse, they've ripped off the deaf, who actually have something in common besides being attention whore assholes.

Assplurgian: The Language of the Asspie

Artist's reenactment
More proper reactions
The typical Asplurgian who claims to be agnostic libertarian and dates a Japanese porn star seiyu

When Asspies try to speak, they tend to talk in a way that butchers the English language so hard that it would make text in an NES game look like it was written by Robert Frost.

I would, I want, I wish you'd shut the fuck up.


Language amongst these individuals differs from normal uses of language. To demonstrate these differences, text written in Assplurgian are noted in bold. The italicized text is the translation into common language understood by those living in reality.

  • Welcome: If you cannot or do not want to socialize in real life you may find some pleasure in doing it online. Meet people who are similar to you!
  • Translation: You're a fucking lazy faggot and you'd rather sit at your computer and wank than try at anything. See: loser


  • #asperger is your channel if you are somewhere on the autistic spectrum. The autism spectrum includes autism, Assburger syndrome, and PDD-NOS. One thing we have in common is an impairment in nonverbal communication with neurologically typical ("normal") people that causes social difficulties. People with conditions such as hyperlexia, Tourette syndrome, schizoid personality disorder, social phobia, etc., may join the channel if there is also impairment in nonverbal communication. Loners with an autism-like condition are welcome.
  • Translation: People with ass burgers aren't diseased, they're just different. All other losers are welcome to join our club in order to keep numbers up. Damn all for being "normal."
  • It is not necessary to have an official diagnosis to join the channel. What counts is that you suspect seriously that you would fit in to the autism spectrum. If so, please feel free to join #asperger to see if you might 'fit in' with us.
  • When you first join the channel, an operator will ask some basic information from you, including how you found out about the channel and whether you are on the autistic spectrum. If you don't have an official diagnosis, we may ask you why you think you are on the spectrum. Don't worry too much about this, though. We do not attempt to make diagnoses on whether or not channel visitors have an autism spectrum disorder. However, we must determine whether it is a likely possibility, in order to protect the channel against obvious imposters and troublemakers.
  • Translation: You can come here with an e-diagnosis but we'll probably kick you out anyways because you might be /b/. Dogs and curtains work better anyways you cunts.
  • The channel is only for those who are on the autistic spectrum!
  • Translation: Okay so what was that before about other social disorders?


  • #asperger is not for parents of autistic children and "experts" who wish to exchange experiences and ideas about treatments. If you want to discuss treatments etc. you are requested to do it on #autism or on #prism.
  • Translation: We only want kids because we're pedophiles.

Source and further study of Asspies and Assplurgian language in the wild: http://www.inlv.demon.nl/irc.asperger/

Terminology

Asspie scientist Temple Grandin, inventor of the hugbox

People who have (fictionally or otherwise) Asperger's will sometimes refer to themselves as asspies or as a group, the asspie community. While these people may come across as jerks, the actual victims of the disease are halfway-decent, possibly-human, lifeforms minus the social skills who encounter the self-diagnosed attention-whoring victimhood-loving cunts, whose falseness drives their victims into a driveling, uncontrollable rage.

Shared language

Although autistic culture doesn't have its own language, there is some terminology commonly used by those in autistic culture, such as:

  • Asspie: A short-hand way of saying Asperger's. Sometimes it is referred to only those diagnosed with Asperger's, and sometimes it refers to the whole spectrum. Most proponents of autistic culture would prefer not to call Asperger's a "syndrome."
  • Autie: A short-hand way of saying an autistic person. Sometimes it is used only to refer to those diagnosed with autism instead of Asperger's, and sometimes it refers to the whole spectrum.
  • Cousin: A cousin is someone who is not technically autistic in the clinical use of the word, but is still similar enough to autistic people to be as much a part of autistic culture as someone officially diagnosable with autism. Sometimes these people are similar because they have a similar condition (although a cousin doesn't have to have any psychological conditions) such as schizoid personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, or hyperlexia. AC is often used to stand for "autistics and cousins."
  • Curebie: A person with the desire to cure autism. These people are usually viewed in a negative light in autistic culture.
  • Neurodiversity: A concept of tolerance of people regardless of neurological wiring.
  • Neurotypical: Usually abbreviated NT. Refers to a nonautistic person. This is absurd, however, considering that "Aspies" aren't the only ones who aren't "neurotypical", unless these Aspies so self-absorbed as to classify all non-Aspies as NT just to feel moar speshul.


Translation: Like the Atlantis shit, we ripped off some psychology jargon, 'cause we r smart. Plus, we still don't want to bother being liked, don't cure us, because sitting around picking our nose and perseverating on math is fucking normal, asshole!

Aspergians: totally a word.

Should also be noted that those who deal with people who supposedly have this disease (and can't stand them) will refer to the wannabe sick as having AssBurners Syndrome.

Interweb Case Studies

I don't mean to sound judgmental,but ... When it rains, it pours for some people.

JewishAzns (if there is one community) would be huge: 36,000 members

AspieAzns (times 10) = 360,000 members

AspieJewishAzns = You get the picture.

  • An "CNN manager" found out she was an Aspie and was so elated that she wrote an article about it on CNN.com. It is full of lulzy statements like these: Hugs are dispensed infrequently, but if I do hug someone, I resemble Frankenstein's monster, arms extended to control contact. When my dad (who I suspect is an Aspie, too) and I hug, we both have "the approach." We sometimes miss and have to re-approach a couple of times until a brief, awkward hug is achieved. Gb2/hugbox indeed. The link to this page should be posted in the comments to this CNN story until further lulz are achieved.
ZOMG Petition against this article?
  • 1justin is self diagnosed with it, he's just as much of a faggot about it as everyone else, but assumes he is better than the rest. He wound up banned from the aspergers community (which has since mysteriously been deleted and purged) for trying to point out to its members that most of them probably don't have it and that being proud about it is stupid, both of which appropriately apply to him.
  • A poll on kuro5hin in which 76% of respondents claim to have some form of Asperger's or autism. Yes. 76%.
  • Everyone on FanFiction.Net claims to have Ass Burgers, Lysdexia, and/or ADHD; which begs the question, why are they writing?
  • These poor women think their husbands have asspies - ladies, they're just assholes normal healthy men trying to make the best of a life trapped in a marriage with an over-emotional woman (I mean seriously! Not being "torn up inside" because you hear a child crying is not sufficient to form a diagnosis of asperger's syndrome!)
Well at least they both belong in a kitchen
  • A Facebook group was created to protect females from being raped by Asspies. They were so butthurt they cried rape to Facebook and the group was deleted just so the Asspies would shut up!
  • The Online Petition was invented by asspies, the only ones who seem to think that anyone gives even the slightest fuck about online petitions. So far, members of Asspies Against Freedom have already created 3 petitions to get Encyclopedia Dramatica taken offline. Unfortunately they don't seem to realize that when no one signs their crybaby petition, making another one is as effective at shutting down a privately owned website as sticking your dick in a light socket. Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different outcome?
  • MySpace was also invented by an aspie, as evidenced by the constant itemized listing of friends and likes/dislikes.

IRL Drama

   
 
I have a big confession: I have already written about the fact that my 9-year-old son was diagnosed in February 2005 with Asperger's Syndrome.
 

 
 

Suburban mother, smacking her gum with her lip glossed mouth - Confessing to her priest


Pwnt by Kindergardners: May 2008

In this lulzy videoalso here, an Aspie child named Alex, is totally rejected by his kindergarten class. By a vote of 14 to 2, they decided to kick him out of their class for his idiotic flailing Ass-pie behavior that was pissing them off. His mom then BAWWW'd on national television about "discrimination" while the Aspie mumbled incoherently in her lap, further proving that the children were right and the whiny parents were wrong. Naturally, a lolsuit is being planned. The boy's mother was also a sick fuck and compared the teacher to Islamic terrorists which is wrong because it is a favor to the normal children not to have a shit smearing, masturbating child in the classroom; and Muslims actually kill people which is much worse than any minor teasing or ridicule. Some people need to grow up and stop being fairies.

Meanwhile, StumbleUpon users call for the death penalty.

Angry Letter: August 2013

In this new report, another Aspie child named Max's mother receive an angry anonymous letter from someone who was totally fed up with her son's unusual Ass-pie behavior and decide to boldly put in the letter that she either move or euthanize him. The mother takes offense to the word "euthanize" and goes on to BAWWWWW on national television, CityNews, about the seemly harmless letter while referring her son as a "child". Like the story above, a lolsuit is being planned while conscientious neighbors show their condolence for the boy. Since then, the letter has been re-tweeted as many as 3,600 times on Twitter with many social justice moralfags jumping on the bandwagon for the glory.

Treatment

For

Moar info: Action T4.

No wonder why this country is going to shit.

Despite myths that there is no treatment for those with autism, the disorder is incredibly easy. Action T4 also exposes the many myths because autism and allows the patients and their caretakers to live happy lives instead of leeching off welfare.

The best thing really for them to do is just keep quiet, until they can actually think before they talk, and think about how others feel. It will solve so many problems they put onto themselves. No one is going to care whether or not you have a setback in your life or that asperger's was at fault. All you're doing is saying that you're retarded.

Against

Moar info: Asspies for Freedom.

Contrary to the above, Asspies for Freedom are opposed to any form of treatment (even when it's clearly needed) and spread lies about their so-called condition to that they may appear normal, but at the same time deserve more respect than other people. Ironically by encouraging people to accept them as being fuckwits they encourage the extermination of those with asperger's syndrome more than Action T4.

#ActuallyAutistic

Some crazy Twitfags went Butthurt about not being known about being a sperg because they were jealous of people not having Autism, because they think not having weakness automatically makes people better. Ironically, they cause more damage than intended, because it's right for the non-spergics to hate those faggots.

Simulating Asperger's Syndrome

There are hipsters which are jealous of assburgers. They developed several methods to simulate this shit.

tDCS (transcranial direct current stimulation)

If you are totally insane, you can put voltage onto your head to be an Aspie for at least 100 minutes. Just power down your totally useless left cerebral hemisphere by putting -9V on it. Then your brain filters nothing anymore, you sense moar information, memorize every fucking shit and behave like a retarded Aspie. Who needs social life if we have the Internet?

Why buy expensive gear if you can use a cheap 9V battery? It doesn't matter if the electricity is uncontrolled and relatively weak.

A 9fag hipster posted a manual for it [2] so that retarded kiddies try it themselves. Be careful not to electrocute yourself by flashing over 9000V through your retarded brain.

Visualization of an autist mind

Popular conception: it is okay to shock your children if it is stimulating the part of the brain that makes them want to hug people more. Hooking up kids to a cerebral clockwork orange style setup where they have electrodes monitoring their brain's ability to focus on loony tunes and stock Vietnam war footage without thinking about their sad life for a moment or else the screen will slowly flicker into an ominous darkness is a very VERY effective and totally legitimate way to make your autistic child less likely to become Hitler.

Asspie Videos

What? This article needs moar videos.
You can help by adding moar videos.


Gallery

The Retard Exhibition About missing Pics
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Criminality

Because of their inability to empathize, most Aspies are like psychopaths, treating others as objects. Luckily thanks to low IQs and being all-round fuckwits they are quickly caught and sent to a special place to get the treatment they needed. Bubba has a thing for virgin white ass, so maybe their empathy will catch on as they bleed from the ass.

Autistic (they call it "hate speech" since being politically correct is something they love to do) Asspies can't get along with people, so they end up doing true hate crimes (i.e. talking about things on groups of people at work, at school or at church) and real sex crimes anyway (esp. sexual harassment). There is no way they can't pick up dates.

In 1944, 50 years before the syndrome was officially invented, Dr Hans Asperger himself tried to warn humanity about the evil he had discovered. One of Hans Asperger's first scientific papers on Autism was titled "Autistic Psychopathy in Childhood". Some believe that A-Monsters may be the dark legacy of a Nazi experiment.

   
 
Arguably, fire-related crimes are among the most frequently associated with hfASD [high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders]. In a previously discussed study, Siponmaa et al. reported that 10 (63%) of 16 crimes of arson were perpetrated by subjects with hfASD diagnoses.
 

 
 

—A-ha! Now we know how to get rid of them!

   
 
Colleagues reported a similar case of a 27-year-old male who was arrested for sexual contact with a minor after the perpetrator went to the police station to report the minor had stolen his property. The perpetrator had a long history of inept social attempts to obtain sexual contact. These included taking neighbors shopping for lingerie and letting women use his home for drug transactions. He consented to having sex with a doll before a mocking audience in the hopes that the women in the audience might become aroused and decide to have sex with him.
 

 
 

—"Play your cards right and this could be your ass I'm fucking!"

   
 
Some cases of sexual serial killing, such as that of Jeffrey Dahmer, appear to involve repetitive dehumanization of people—viewing them as disposable objects or as objects that can be literally deconstructed, resulting in the mutilation of the victims.
 

 
 

—Though quite happy to claim Edison was an asspie, the tables turn once necrophilic cannibals are brought up.

   
 
Because persons with hfASD have difficulties appreciating the subjective experiences of other persons, there may be a lack of intersubjective resonance, or empathy.
 

 
 

—They don't even say sorry, the shits.

   
 
Colleagues reported an attempted murder by a 44-year-old man who shot the psychologist who was performing a child custody evaluation. The perpetrator feared the evaluation would be unfavorable, and he believed shooting the author of the evaluation would improve his chances of maintaining custody. Baron-Cohen described the case of 21-year-old John, who attacked others whenever his routine was disturbed.
 

 
 

—Others will kill you and rape your corpse if you break their crayons.

   
 
because every1 hates aspies we will kill the world every1 with autism aspergers adhd bipolar etc will kill you all!

we aspies will wipe nt's from the face of the earth
 


 
 

—An asspie user with no concept of irony.

(In)Famous Autistic Criminals

  • A man who burned his house down with his wife and kid inside it so he could claim the insurance
  • An old, fat substitute teacher who used to touch up his female students
  • A faggot who enjoyed raping niggers in public toilets
  • A Muslim terrorist who blew himself up in a public restroom after accidentally locking himself in.
  • It has been revealed that Nikolas Cruz, the MSD gunman who massacred 17 people in an high school, had Asperger's Syndrome and Mental Illness. People with Asperger's are very narcissistic and completely lack the ability to feel empathy (much like psychopaths). They are soulesss, calculating, sexually frustrated "nerds" with no attachment to their fellow humans, and are highly prone to angry outbursts called "meltdowns". This creates the perfect recipe for a cold-blooded killing machine. Nothing short of Asperger's Syndrome allows a person to perpetrate such unthinkable acts.
  • It has been revealed that Adam Lanza, the Sandy Hook gunman who massacred 20 children in an elementary school, had Asperger's Syndrome. People with Asperger's are very narcissistic and completely lack the ability to feel empathy (much like psychopaths). They are soulesss, calculating, sexually frustrated "nerds" with no attachment to their fellow humans, and are highly prone to angry outbursts called "meltdowns". This creates the perfect recipe for a cold-blooded killing machine. Nothing short of Asperger's Syndrome allows a person to perpetrate such unthinkable acts.
  • Elliot Rodger, the guy who went on a massacre in Isla Vista because he couldn't get laid.
  • Christian Weston Chandler Raped his Dementia suffering Mother and bragged about it on a telephone interview, getting him sent to the Pokey

Aspergian Girls

For some reason, over ¾ (75% or 80% or whatever) of diagnosed persons in the Autism Spectrum Disorder range are men. About a quarter (that's 20-22-25%) are women, whom stand apart from other girls, ladies and females. They are like men in a woman's body, but aspieutistic boys are like girls. See also: transies, as in transgendered, transsexual and transvestite. Like their male counterparts, they can't get dates and are fawking smart, and she can't have a brain ya know.

How to properly deal with someone who has autism

The best way to deal with some who has assburgers is to kill them with fire, before they manage to reproduce and override the majority population of normal people. Of course there are alternate methods that can be used:

Famous Asburgerers on ED

The never-ending fight against autism
There can be only one.
When dousing your eyes with bleach isn't enough.

Trolling Aspies

In the Internet hierarchy, Aspies (and their many branches) are at the rock bottom of the food chain, far below even niggers and feminists. Aspies are the lolcow of the human race and should be milked as such. For an example of how Encyclopedia Dramatica milked an aspie for all his worth, just see the Trolls section on Chris-chan. Lulz is pretty much the only reason why we let aspies survive, because otherwise once they become unfunny then we should have just put them out of their misery.

  • Remind them of their disability and cite APA 32.7. They hate being proven wrong.
  • Refuse them special treatment. Hilarity ensues.
  • Refer them to Wikipedia. All Aspies hate Wikipedia due to the only lulzy article they have (High Functioning Autism)
  • Cite them as WP:personal. Anything Wikipedia will result in hilarity.
  • IRC Trolling: Guard Lowered in Under 10 Minutes ([CollapseExpand])
  • Tell them that Hitler had assburgers
  • Ask them if they really have burgers up their asses.
  • Ask if they can help you get a burger in your ass too
  • Tell them that they are no different to Chris-chan. Not recommended, since he has committed incest and rape.
  • Say anything remotely negative about any subject or topic. Asspies will pretend they are in the group you mocked and fake being offended for attention.
  • Tell their ass off that they're insane psychopaths.
  • Tell them that Einstein apparently having assburgers doesn't automatically make their lazy asses 'geniuses'
  • Remind them that nearly all school shooters are aspies
  • Their greatest weakness is when their antics are directly mimicked and used against them
    • If everyone is an object then the autist is the gayest, most socially inept John Galt in the room. No exceptions

WARNING: This shit is surprisingly easy to do despite them being able to "spot obvious impostors". Just make up something that sounds plausible and go for it. They also turn on each other pretty quickly:

[23:57] --> You have joined the channel #asperger ([email protected]).
[23:57] *** The channel topic is "Channel ONLY for people with Autism, Asperger's or a related condition. Homepage: http://asperger.inlv.org".
[23:57] *** The topic was set by Gareethafk on 10/20/11 11:36 AM.
[23:57] *** Channel modes: private, topic protection, no messages from outside
[23:57] *** This channel was created on 05/09/04 06:12 AM.
[23:57] <CharlesR> hi MrAsperger are you new here?
[23:57] <MrAsperger> yes i just found the site
[23:58] <CharlesR> please introduce yourself
[23:58] * CharlesR is a 60 yr old unemployed radio broadcast engineer and old style pre-computer radio nerd near Youngstown, Ohio, USA, diagnosed Asperger syndrome, never married, living alone with dog, Jenny
[23:58] * phyre pounces on gandalf
[23:59] <phyre> What are you doing up?
[23:59] <MrAsperger> well, i'm a 28-year-old freelance computer programmer from Los Angeles, not yet diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but self-suspected, and single but living alone
[23:59] <MrAsperger> that about sums me up
[00:00] <torako> single BUT living alone? "living alone" does not contradict "single
[00:00] <torako> :
[00:00] <torako> *"
[00:00] <MrAsperger> i'm shy and nervous around new people
[00:00] <MrAsperger> if i make stupid mistakes, i'm sorry
[00:00] <MrAsperger> i get flustered easily
[00:00] <CharlesR> thanks and welcome MrAsperger
[00:00] <MrAsperger> thank you
[00:01] <torako> are you hans asperger?
[00:01] <Gareethafk> He's dead.
[00:01] <MrAsperger> then it would be kind of difficult
[00:01] <torako> are you related to hans asperger?
[00:01] <Gareethafk> And would be considerably older than 28
[00:01] <phyre> Oh, we all make stupid mistakes.  Some of us just enjoy being nitpicky, myself included. :P
[00:01] <MrAsperger> I understand, phyre
[00:01] <Gareethafk> Don't let torako fluster you 
[00:01] <torako> i'm not fluster-ing
[00:02] <phyre> That hyphen isn't necessary.
[00:02] <MrAsperger> and no, i'm not related to him
[00:02] <torako> MrAsperger: then what's up with your nick?
[00:02] <phyre> He just likes it.  Sheesh.
[00:02] <MrAsperger> pretty much
[00:02] <torako> but he's not mr. asperger
[00:02] <MrAsperger> i'm a male
[00:02] <phyre> You're not an actual tiger cub, so what's up with yours, torako?
[00:02] <torako> torako is a name
[00:02] <MrAsperger> phyre has a point
[00:03] <torako> and tora was my nickname in junior high
[00:03] <torako> that's why
[00:03] <phyre> I'm not an actual misspelled chemical reaction.
[00:03] <torako> yes you are
[00:03] <MrAsperger> mrs.oxygen would love that one
[00:03] <dfy> since when is it appropriate to quiz people about the origin of nicks
[00:03] <phyre> Oh crap, my secret is out!
[00:03] <torako> dfy: since your face
[00:03] <phyre> Since when is half of what you say appropriate either, dude?
[00:03] * Gareethafk is an adult with autism who lives in BC, Canada with her dog, cat and assorted fish and her lovely computer.
[00:03] <T`Ver> good night everyone
[00:03] <phyre> Good night.
[00:03] <MrAsperger> good night
[00:03] * Gareethafk faints from the on topic comment by dfy
[00:04] <phyre> Heh.
[00:04] <torako> haha
[00:04] <-- T`Ver has left this server.
[00:05] <CharlesR> torako, not tora tora tora?
[00:05] <torako> CharlesR: no...
[00:05] <MrAsperger> tora tora bora bora?
[00:05] <phyre> I think that movie is older than her.
[00:05] <torako> i like tigers, what's why that was my nickname
[00:05] <phyre> Plus it's annoying to say.
[00:06] <CharlesR> i mean the origin oif the movies name
[00:06] <phyre> Annnd I have no idea what that is.
[00:06] <torako> and it's better than the username i was using for stuff before
[00:06] --> Gerrit has joined this channel ([email protected]).
[00:06] *** CStar gives channel operator privileges to Gerrit.
[00:06] <phyre> Your Neopets nick?
[00:06] <torako> yeah
[00:06] <phyre> Yeah, that's pretty lame.
[00:06] <torako> it's really derpy XD
[00:06] <torako> i was a little kid okay??
[00:06] <CharlesR> the report from the first japanese pilot who bombed pearl harbor
[00:07] <Gerrit> Good morning.
[00:07] <CharlesR> it was code for "full surpiise achieved"
[00:07] <torako> CharlesR: he said "tiger tiger tiger"? i fail to see how that's relevant
[00:07] <CharlesR> codes often are not relevant
[00:08] <phyre> Which is kind of the point.
[00:08] <torako> also wait you're calling me a WWII bomber? wtf?
[00:08] <torako> dude fuck you too
[00:08] <MrAsperger> 8===================================================D
[00:08] <MrAsperger> LOL DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG
[00:08] <MrAsperger> COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS
[00:08] <CharlesR> you know better than that torako
[00:08] <MrAsperger> 8===================================================D
[00:08] <torako> hm a troll?
[00:08] <phyre> what an original troll
[00:08] <CharlesR> MrAsperger?

Autism Acceptance Month

At last, an insecure Sperg has had enough of your shit, so they made this shitty month. Examples of these people are narcissistic pricks and Twitter users.

See Also

External Links


Asperger's Syndrome is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

Academy ManiacsAdam LanzaAlbert EinsteinAlexander SlavrosAmber ButtrumAndy KaufmanAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAspies for FreedomAspierationsAssburgerBaldi's BasicsBambifan101Barron TrumpBart-ToonsBeefraveBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBen ShapiroBill9929Bill GatesBlocklandersBlueCatRioluBodyXPoliticBonziWORLDBoris MalagurskiBourg ProductionsBram CohenBrandon SmithBrownsquirrelCameron W. CowanCansin13ChibiyimaChris-chanChris Harper-MercerClay ClaymoreCyndilovespiccoloDan CilleyDarrDarius McCollumDarviela MaravaronaDavid CleggDaxFlameDellordev-catscratchDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DLAbaoaquDodgerofZionDragonfandrp1zzaEddie WiseEdenHeroineGirlElliot RodgerEmpLemonErik RibsskogErin AnthonyEvan GraggFlaglerchatFlardoxFucklewithshuckleFUNImation2002GachatardsGalaxyRailways2199Gary McKinnonGeosheaGlitchedbloodGoFagsGrantMGraykatGreg MazujianGreenyfagsHannah CappsHeed My WarningHozupindahows00sInmendhamInuboy1000IronholdsJack Gilbert GrahamJared MiltonJahi/4444Javi SuzumiyaJINXDROWNEDJoekerJohn Patrick RogersJoseph8276JustinandDennisJustinRPGJoey The AutistKeegan SalisburyKawaii KitsuneKawaiiKittee88KelseyaliciaKevin HavensKingMasterReviewKirbysloverKloeriKongzillarex619KothorixKphoriaLane DavisLeafyIsHereLogo KidsLordelthibarLougaraLukas PietschLyndsay KirkhamLynn AnnM. ChaosManlytearsMar9122Marcus PotterMarioMan7890MarioMario456Mark ZuckerbergMascotGuyMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMDetector5Michael GimsonMinefagsMisha SilenostiMissyMix HyenaMonica PunkMumkey JonesMutescreamMylarBalloonFanNate SpidgewoodNemo HanaNeuroNichole337Nick BravoNicky ReillyNikolas CruzObjectcucksOlinkalexOnigojirakaijuOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPhantomStriderPhonefagsPMDrive1061PopcornPrince JeremyRandy StairRavenNGRobert Clark YoungROtardsRootbrianRoss LumbusRyanSammyClassicSonicFanSaturnDOSSebastien LevesqueSeunghwan LeeSeleryShane LeeSiriusOrionisSolidMarioSONYFANBOYSperginStarbladeStarkiller88SteAndKelSuperMarioLoganSuper Minecraft KidTablecowTGcomixTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe Eclectic EspeonThe rEactorTheme Park ReviewTheMysteriousMrEnterTherealagerbonThe JuggernautThe Unknown AutobotTheVeganStudentTimboxToby J RathjenToKeNTom SersonToonEGuyToshTrigglypuffTylerthDragonUlillilliaVailskibum94Varg VikernesWaymuuWeatherManKevinWeDoALittleTrollingWeegeeisgoingtokillmWerechuWetflamewillg8686William "AlGore" AtchisonWilliam FreundWim CrusioWolfAdvocateWolfeedarkfangwwwareaYouZS3

Asperger's Syndrome is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
Asperger's Syndrome is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaCognitive dissonanceDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberalismLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyPyromaniaRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTerminological percipience disorderTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMElan SchoolEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning

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Asperger's Syndrome is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders
Diseases:

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Disorders:

AgoraphobiaAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAsperger's SyndromeAttention deficit hyperactivity disorderBipolar disorderBody dysmorphic disorderBorderline personality disorderBug ChasersCarmen Electra complexChristianityChronic Troll SyndromeDepressionDyslexiaEating disordersEbola virusEpilepsyFauxlimiaGender dysphoriaHistrionic personality disorderHeterophiliaHomophiliaInconsistent personality disorderInsanityMental retardationMultiple personality disorderNarcissistic personality disorderObsessive-compulsive disorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderParaphiliasPost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPrader-Willi SyndromePsychopathyPyromaniaSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeVictim complex

Internet Diseases and Disorders:

Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorderThe Cancer That Is Killing /b/The GRIDS that is killing ED

Asperger's Syndrome is part of a series on ED5 Pollfest Top 16.
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