Chronic Troll Syndrome
Chronic Troll Syndrome (CTS) is an internet disease (not to be confused with Internet Disease) that is generally present in trolls. It causes the given troll to be unable to tell the difference between internet and IRL limits.
As a result, the troll is no longer able to comprehend what is appropriate to say and do when dealing with IRL people in contrast with the Internets. Symptoms include being inconsiderate and generally asshatty to friends and family, the common offensive use of racial epithets, and a tendency to interfere in other people's business uninvited "for the laughs." This in turn leads to a loss of said friends, niggers, and a general alienation of all contacts outside of the Internet with the added bonus of having the shit kicked out of you and serious jail time.
Treatment
Chronic Troll Syndrome, otherwise known as anti-social personality disorder [1] is easily cured by having said troll call a black person a 'nigger' on the street, or refer to all of their gay friends as fags. The resulting ass-beating will generally shock the troll back into recognition of boundaries. However, if a case has continued untreated for long enough, this treatment may prove ineffective and only encourage the said troll. Additional loss of job, limbs, marital status, and life may be necessary for more advanced cases. It is also possible to limit the damage by simply making sure that the troll has no IRL friends that (s)he can offend. This is clearly not the most desirable solution, but an inevitable one if cases continue long enough without proper care. Researchers have been trying to find a 100% effective, ideal cure for CTS, but they have not yet been successful.
In extreme cases, the afflicted troll may begin using "I did it for the lulz" in order to attempt to justify inconsiderate IRL actions. If said symptom arises, it is suggested that the troll be slain immediately.
Exceptions
As with most rules there are exceptions. IRL trolling and racism can also lead to extremely effective and hilarious results. Remember that not all niggers and jews that you may decide to troll IRL are as thick as they seem. So troll with caution. This method can lead to some of the most satisfying results imaginable or one of the worst experiences said CTS sufferers may go through.
Everything is a Troll
Another implication of CTS is that the affected individual tends to think every anti-social act, whether it be for the lulz, due to insecurities, or a CYA maneuver, is a troll. By this way of thinking, every attempt at offending another, for whatever reason, even if unsuccessful, becomes a troll. Roman Polanski pedobaiting the Party Van? Troll. Adolf Hitler killing all the Jews? Troll. Jews doing WTC? You guessed it, a troll.
Although it's arguable whether or not the last case was a lulzy troll, still, a real troll does it for the lulz.
Known Cases
There have been spotted and probably outbreaks of CTS. Any such outbreak should be taken SRSLY and u will need to fill out forms with the CDC and DHS. This is an pandemic, on the level of SARS and H1N1.
This Article in the News
The guy who wrote this article talks about his troll's remorse as part of the anti GamerGate propaganda. He says this was the first article he ever wrote but that's 
not true. I guess he didn't want to publicize the fact the first article he actually wrote contains nothing but a picture of a woman shoving hot dogs up her cunt.
See Also
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Chronic Troll Syndrome is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
