McDonald's

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The taste of Freedom.

McDonald's is a children's fast food restaurant where poor scum go to eat cheap, processed, greasy food. It is the official symbol of American gluttony. McDonald's has established many cells (called franchises) in countries across the world, where they continue to butcher innocent Chinese children with American poison, after which the bloated yellow carcasses are stripped of their delicious flesh and sold back into America as whats now known as Happy Meals.

It should also be noted that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you take a girl to McDonald's for a first date, you Jew.

He fried for our sins.

In light of the recent Pigkraine invasion, Mickey D's as well as other food companies that slowly kill the Americunt population on a daily basis, has pulled business from Russia to pwn Big Bad Vlad.

Super Size Me

Note how well the dicks were shopped out of his mouth.

Long ago, Morgan Spurlock made a shit movie called Super Size Me about him being a fatass and eating nothing but super sized McDonald's food for a month. Immediately after seeing that, if eaten without moderation, McDonald's food is more unhealthy than it usually is, they immediately removed super sizing from the menu. Much butthurt was had by fat people worldwide, while simultaneously lulz were had by master troll Spurlock.

They love niggers

Moar info: 365Black.com.

   
 
Like the unique African Baobab tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald's has branched out to the African-American community nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.
 

 
 

McD's PR shithead

McDonald's actually decided to celebrate its contribution to the 60% higher rate of McDiabeetus in black communities by making this fucktarded website.

Decline

McDonald's grew to become a fast food Goliath and was the #1 'restaurant' in the world. However, throughout the 2000s, profit started to slow down, until actually declining throughout the 2010s; the result is that hundreds of McDonald's have closed down. Corporate has seen a fall in sales for 13+ quarters in a row. [1] [2] [3] [4]

As of 2021, Subway has more global locations than McDonald's.

Notable "Incidents" that took place at a McDonald's restaurant

  • Taiwan bombings: Between April 28/29th, 1992, a crazy plumber played Bomberman on seven McDonald's restaurants in Taiwan, resulting in the death of a police officer and four other fags injured in the explosions. Every McDonald's restaurant in Taiwan was shut down for two days, and the fat fucks of Taiwan chucked a hissy-fit over it.
  • Beating of Chrissy Lee Polis: On April 18th 2011, two shenigger baboons roaming around in Macca's in Maryland hunting for fried chikinz sighted an unidentified moving object named "Chrissy" disguised as a lady trying to enter the women's restroom only to be spat on the face and slammed into the ground repeatedly. Upon hearing the commotion, McDonald's employees began recording and chanting "WORLD STAR WORLD STAR!!!!11one!" Justice was served when "Chrissy" had a violent seizure and began to bleed from the mouth. One of the attackers was a 14-year-old niglet who has likely been killed/killed someone else by now, while the other was 19-years-old and is currently being held captive in the ape exhibit of the Maryland zoo. At the end of 2011, Howard County passed the protections for transgender people into county law.
  • Munich Massacre: On July 22nd, 2016, an 18-year-old mudslime scored nine kills and a further 27 injuries in a mass shooting half as æpic as Tim Kretschmer's chimpout in 2009. The massacre began within the vicinity of a McDonald's restaurant, and the shooter became An Hero the moment the polizei showed up. rip.

Videos

Because when you think McDonald's, the first thing that comes to mind is shitty dancing

You know something's badass if it's advertised on shitty E.T. ripoffs

Gallery

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See also

A tasteful Hello Kitty Happy Meal toy.
McDonald's
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]

Featured article March 10 and 11, 2022
Preceded by
VolunteersForUkraine
McDonald's Succeeded by
Russia Today
Featured article May 25 and 26, 2023
Preceded by
Sexual Harassment
McDonald's Succeeded by
Jeffrey Dahmer