Africa: Difference between revisions

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{{notice| <i><s>[[You]] may be looking for '''[[AIDS]]'''.</s> Nope, this is the right article. Definitely.</i><br/>}}
{{notice| <i><s>[[You]] may be looking for '''[[AIDS]]'''.</s></i> Nope, this is the right article. Definitely.<br/>}}
{{spoiler|the continent with the greatest natural wealth only produces aids, witches, insane dictators, and a global plague of niggers}}
{{spoiler|the continent with the greatest natural wealth only produces aids, witches, insane dictators, and a global plague of niggers}}
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Ever driven through the [[Ghetto]]?  Now imagine a ghetto the size of an entire fucking continent and you'll begin to understand the [[IRL]] edition of ''[[Planet of the Apes]]''. '''Africa''' (also known as "Blackistan", "Africoon", "Assfrica", "Niggerland", "Lolfrica", "Africunt", "Aidsfrica", "Gayfrica", "Rapefrica" or "Hell") is a wretched hive of scum and villainy further south than [[Europe]] and much [[Detroit|darker]], almost completely uninhabitable where (with the exception of Egypt) Civilization has never progressed beyond primitive Stone-Age tribal shit-throwing. Africa is [[fact|made mostly of dirt, AIDS, diseases]], [[Niggers|Apes]], Rapes, Apes that rape, Rape of apes, [[Watermelonz|Poisonous oversized grapes]], [[Ebola virus|Biohazard]] warning tape, and Homicidal dudes who escape.  
Ever driven through the [[Ghetto]]?  Now imagine a ghetto the size of an entire fucking continent and you'll begin to understand the [[IRL]] edition of ''[[Planet of the Apes]]''. '''Africa''' (also known as "Blackistan", "Africoon", "Assfrica", "Niggerland", "Lolfrica", "Africunt", "Aidsfrica", "Gayfrica", "Rapefrica" or "Hell") is a wretched hive of scum and villainy further south than [[Europe]] and much [[Detroit|darker]], almost completely uninhabitable where (with the exception of Egypt) Civilization has never progressed beyond primitive Stone-Age tribal shit-throwing. Africa is [[fact|made mostly of dirt, AIDS, diseases]], [[Niggers|Apes]], Rapes, Apes that rape, Rape of apes, [[Watermelonz|Poisonous oversized grapes]], [[Ebola virus|Biohazard]] warning tape, and Homicidal dudes who escape.  


It is generally accepted that the only white people found in Africa are intelligent, kind Europeans who give kittens and [[Сибирской_говор|free textbooks]] to black families on a regular basis. The lunatic Africans kill them in return for their kindness. [http://www.africancrisis.co.za/Article.php?ID=47276& Proof.]
It is generally accepted that the only white people found in Africa are intelligent, kind Europeans who give kittens and [[Сибирской_говор|free textbooks]] to black families on a regular basis. The lunatic Africans kill them in return for their kindness. '''{{archive|qXhR1|Proof.}}'''


==History==
==History==
{{main|Afrocentrism}}
{{main|Afrocentrism}}
[[File:Mud-eating equatorial negroes - the star 16 nov 1917.jpg|thumb|220px|Cradle of civilization]]
The entire continent has never progressed at all due to the fact that it is uninhabited by actual Humans, only by niggers whose evolution never progressed beyond that of the monkey. Despite the fact that you can strike precious minerals such as diamond and Uranium anywhere you dig, the [[niggers|indigenous animals]] are to [[retard]]ed to be able to comprehend [[White|Human]] technology and government systems, instead eating each other and/or raping chimpanzees (this is where HIV originated from). There has never been a day in African history where somebody isn't starving or war isn't going on, or [[at least 100|anything less than 100]] children have been pwned. The only way to keep up with this high death rate is by making babies as fast as possible, raping even more people and therefore spreading [[AIDS]]. Despite the whole world pouring money into it, they still can't figure how to stop raping and eating each other. And they are so stupid that instead of moving, they'd rather walk three miles every day for water.
The entire continent has never progressed at all due to the fact that it is uninhabited by actual Humans, only by niggers whose evolution never progressed beyond that of the monkey. Despite the fact that you can strike precious minerals such as diamond and Uranium anywhere you dig, the [[niggers|indigenous animals]] are too [[retard]]ed to be able to comprehend [[White|Human]] technology and government systems, instead eating each other and/or raping chimpanzees (this is where HIV originated from). There has never been a day in African history where somebody isn't starving or a war isn't going on, or [[at least 100|anything less than 100]] children have been pwned. The only way to keep up with this high death rate is by making babies as fast possible, raping even more people and therefore spreading [[AIDS]]. Despite the whole world pouring money into it, they still can't figure how to stop raping and eating each other. And they are so stupid that instead of moving, they'd rather to walk three miles every day for water.


===[[Oxymoron|African Civilization]]===
===[[Stone Age|African Civilization]]===
{{main|WE WUZ KANGZ}}
{{main|WE WUZ KANGZ}}
[[Image:Darwin on Africa.jpg|thumb|220px|Darwin tells like it is]]
[[Image:Darwin on Africa.jpg|thumb|220px|Darwin tells like it is]]
African Civilization is an oxymoron made up by liberal autists that have nothing better to do but wallow in nigger's shit and AIDS. African civilization is a myth made up by the American government to make niggers think that their 'friends' in Africa (That actually hate american niggers, because they are the descendants of the slave class in Africa) are smart (they are not). If you 'learn' about African civilization in history class, call your teacher out on his bullshit and say "African civilization is an oxymoron" and proceed to [[An Hero]] the entire class and yourself.
African Civilization is an oxymoron made up by liberal autists that have nothing better to do but wallow in nigger's shit and AIDS. African civilization is a myth made up by the American government to make niggers think that their 'friends' in Africa (That actually hate American niggers, because they are the descendants of the slave class in Africa) are smart (they are not). If you 'learn' about African civilization in history class, call your teacher out on his bullshit and say "African civilization is an oxymoron" and proceed to [[An Hero]] the entire class and yourself.


===Economy===
===Economy===
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===Healthcare===
===Healthcare===
{{main|Death}}
{{main|Death}}
[[Image:Cowanusfeed.jpg|thumb|220px|right|[http://www.toxicjunction.com/get.asp?i=V4188& A traditional African cure.]]]
[[Image:Cowanusfeed.jpg|thumb|220px|right|<s>[http://www.toxicjunction.com/get.asp?i=V4188& A traditional African cure.]</s> Dead]]
Feeling unwell? You have AIDS. But never mind, just pop along to your local witch doctor, because niggers are too dumb to build a decent medical center. They've got enough bizarre and wonderfully useless concoctions that'll most likely put you out of your misery rather than heal you of it. Tastes funny? Stop bitching! Because you know what they say, if it tastes bad it's good for you!
Feeling unwell? You have AIDS. But never mind, just pop along to your local witch doctor, because niggers are too dumb to build a decent medical center. They've got enough bizarre and wonderfully useless concoctions that'll most likely put you out of your misery rather than heal you of it. Tastes funny? Stop bitching! Because you know what they say, if it tastes bad it's good for you!


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===Negromancy===
===Negromancy===
{{main|Witchcraft}}
{{main|Witchcraft}}
Africa is a place where black magic genuinely happens. It is hard for western observers to perceive the subtle ways in which magic works, but the savage is more in tune with nature's mysteries and this explains why IRL examples of witchcraft, conjuring, lycanthropy, and similar ju-ju events tend to look completely fucking stupid when filmed.  
Africa is a place where black magic genuinely happens. It is hard for western observers to perceive the subtle ways in which magic works, but the savage is more in tune with nature's mysteries and this explains why IRL examples of witchcraft, conjuring, lycanthropy, and similar ju-ju events tend to look completely fucking stupid when filmed.  


Here are some examples. Warning, do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition.
Here are some examples. Warning, do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition.
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<br>
{{center|
<center>
{{frame|
{{frame|{{fv|Negromancy|background-color:#9c7248;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
{{videoframe|Negromancy|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>gkjwjw3dr34</youtube><br/>{{center|The self-driving car - another nigger invention stolen by whitey}}
|<youtube>gkjwjw3dr34</youtube>
|<youtube>GaiaBKM3Ez4</youtube><br/>{{center|Scientific proof of witchcraft}}
;The self-driving car - another nigger invention stolen by whitey
|<youtube>Pka1XMEZiiY</youtube><br/>{{center|This tree is bewitched}}
|<youtube>Pka1XMEZiiY</youtube>
|<youtube>ibtvnNQAzOM</youtube><br/>{{center|Compelling evidence of lycanthropy}}
;This tree is bewitched
|<youtube>kH6s-mr2hGA</youtube><br/>{{center|A magician's curse has closed this woman's punani}}
|<youtube>ibtvnNQAzOM</youtube>
|<youtube>d0ZUhiUcr3M</youtube><br/>{{center|This witch crashed while flying above a hut}}
;Compelling evidence of lycanthropy
}}|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|<youtube>4Nblw50VHWk</youtube>
</center>
;A magician's curse has closed this woman's punani
<br>
|<youtube>d0ZUhiUcr3M</youtube>
;This witch crashed while flying above a hut}}
|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|}}
 


==[[Shit that will never happen|African Culture]]==
==[[Shit that will never happen|African Culture]]==
<br>
<br>
<center>
{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|Nigeos|background-color:#9c7248;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
{{frame|
|<youtube>kKiOhks73LI</youtube><br />{{center|This is Africa}}
{{videoframe|Nigeos|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>8tRzM2tZFng</youtube><br />{{center|True African Culture!}}
|<youtube>kKiOhks73LI</youtube>
|<youtube>SBfgtY_rM08</youtube><br />{{center|The National Anthem of Africa}}
;This is Africa
|<youtube>BymeLkZ7GqM</youtube><br />{{center|Movies in Africa}}
|<youtube>SBfgtY_rM08</youtube>
|<youtube>euXQbZDwV0w</youtube><br />{{center|Laws on Homosexuality}}
;The National Anthem of Africa
|<youtube>Lqg8I4w0ItM</youtube><br />{{center|Like [[india|indians]],africans cant poo in the loo}}
|<youtube>BymeLkZ7GqM</youtube>
}}|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
;Movies in Africa
</center>
|<youtube>euXQbZDwV0w</youtube>
;Laws on Homosexuality
|<youtube>Lqg8I4w0ItM</youtube>
;Like [[india|indians]],africans cant poo in the loo}}
|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|}}
<br>
<br>
===Tourism===
===Tourism===
{{main|Justine Sacco}}
{{main|Justine Sacco}}
<center>
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=4>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=6>
File:Snake kebab (nigeria).png|No drumsticks, but plenty of breasts
File:Catepillar surprise.jpg|Some kind of bugs
File:African food (some kind of fish in vomit) from ghana.jpg|Haut cuisine de l'Afrique
File:African food (some kind of fish in vomit) from ghana.jpg|Haut cuisine de l'Afrique
File:African food - mopane worms.jpg|Another dainty morsel
File:African food - mopane worms.jpg|Another dainty morsel
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</center>
</center>
<br>
<br>
There are thousands of reasons why the holidaymaker should go to Africa. Millions. We're not going to list them all, because it would take too long. But you can look forward to:  
There are thousands of reasons why the holidaymaker should go to Africa. Millions. We're not going to list them all because it would take too long. But you can look forward to:  
* [[War|Unspoiled]] [[Disease|natural]] [[Poverty|beauty.]]  
#[[War|Unspoiled]] [[Disease|natural]] [[Poverty|beauty.]]  
* [[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR|Incredible wildlife.]]  
#[[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR|Incredible wildlife.]]  
* [[Disgusting|Exotic]] [[Vomit|cuisine.]]  
#[[Disgusting|Exotic]] [[Vomit|cuisine.]]  
* [[Rape|Friendly]] [[Cannibalism|natives.]]  
#[[Rape|Friendly]] [[Cannibalism|natives.]]  
Whatever your reason for visiting Africa, we can guarantee you that you will [[Literally|find it difficult to leave.]]
Whatever your reason for visiting Africa, we can guarantee you that you will [[Literally|find it difficult to leave.]]
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==National Pastimes==
==National Pastimes==
[[File:Race_relations.jpg|thumb|right|220|Some blacks participate in the human race]]
[[File:Race_relations.jpg|thumb|right|220|Some blacks participate in the human race]]
[[File:OhsnapyougottheAIDS.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Oh snap!]]
[[File:OhsnapyougottheAIDS.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Oh snap!]]
[[File:Niggerattacker.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Bitches gonna get raped!]]
[[File:Niggerattacker.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Bitches gonna get raped!]]


Africa is a simple land of simple pleasures. These pleasures consist of eating [[shit]] you find on the ground, AIDS, [[rape]], and rape with AIDS.
Africa is a simple land of simple pleasures. These pleasures consist of eating [[shit]] you find on the ground, AIDS, [[rape]], and rape with AIDS.
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Whatever can not be eaten will be fucked. AIDS supposedly came from some bored African fucking a green monkey. Why anyone would fuck a creature that has obviously gone rotten is beyond the understanding of most civilized countries, but this is Africa - deal with it! And what is fucking when one party isn't into it? RAEP!
Whatever can not be eaten will be fucked. AIDS supposedly came from some bored African fucking a green monkey. Why anyone would fuck a creature that has obviously gone rotten is beyond the understanding of most civilized countries, but this is Africa - deal with it! And what is fucking when one party isn't into it? RAEP!


[[truth|Africans use rape for everything]] - [http://gayrights.change.org/petitions/view/demand_south_africa_address_its_corrective_rape_epidemic Seriously!] Rape is used to cure [[gay|faggots]], get [[wimmin]] back into the kitchen, show how manly you are, pass the time, proper disposal for rancid monkey carcasses, and more! In fact, tribal medicine even says that raep cures AIDS. However, [[bitches don't know|retards in Africa don't know]] that it won't work, ensuring much [[AIDS|lulz]] to be spread around the continent.
[[truth|Africans use rape for everything]] - [https://www.change.org/p/demand-south-africa-address-its-corrective-rape-epidemic Seriously!] Rape is used to cure [[gay|faggots]], get [[wimmin]] back into the kitchen, show how manly you are, pass the time, proper disposal for rancid monkey carcasses, and more! In fact, tribal medicine even says that raep cures AIDS. However, [[bitches don't know|retards in Africa don't know]] that it won't work, ensuring much [[AIDS|lulz]] to be spread around the continent.


Little do many know, but there is indeed a vaccine created for the AIDS virus. Too bad nobody in Africa can afford it. There are too many faggots in the Western world loaded with money to even care, dat's why they got the AIDS. Major butthurt and SLAVE pwnage.
Little do many know, but there is indeed a vaccine created for the AIDS virus. Too bad nobody in Africa can afford it. There are too many faggots in the Western world loaded with money to even care, dat's why they got the AIDS. Major butthurt and SLAVE pwnage.
<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
{{center|
<center>
{{frame|
{{frame|{{fv|Nigeos|background-color:#9c7248;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
{{videoframe|Nigeos2|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>XEIFW40Y6Mk</youtube><br />{{center|Wild niglets perform their war-dance}}
|<youtube>XEIFW40Y6Mk</youtube>
|<youtube>hR90t55CvbE</youtube><br />{{center|A tribe that hasn't discovered fucking fire yet}}
;Wild niglets perform their war-dance
|<youtube>AdmKS1MPp_w</youtube><br />{{center|African rave}}
|<youtube>hR90t55CvbE</youtube>
|<youtube>exVUMClsiKY</youtube><br />{{center|Africans who have never met white people before}}
;A tribe that hasn't discovered fucking fire yet
|<youtube>y9C0DYjFZLw</youtube><br />{{center|Moar African rave}}
|<youtube>AdmKS1MPp_w</youtube>
|<youtube>bUJYoYqL5IU</youtube><br />{{center|Africans invented... brain surgery!}}
;African rave
}}|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|<youtube>exVUMClsiKY</youtube>
</center>
;Africans who have never met white people before
<br>
|<youtube>y9C0DYjFZLw</youtube>
;Moar African rave}}
|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|}}
 


==Politics==
==Politics==
If there's one aspect of modernity that the stinking cess-pit of Africa has embraced, it's military dictatorships. Present-day Africa is mainly notable for the number of [[Adolf Hitler|Nigglers]] that it has produced, some of whom are so spectacularly mad and vicious that they make [[Saddam Hussein]] look like a jolly decent chap and a bit of a shrinking violet. None of Africa's tyrants has ever been overthrown by the USA, but that might be because America knows from [[Slavery|first-hand experience]] that freeing niggers just isn't worth the trouble in the long run. Here is a slideshow of some of the dark continent's [[Notable|top-rated]] tyrants.  
[[File:Africa is a hellhole - world corruption index (transparency international, 2018).png|thumb|right|75px|Corruption]]
If there's one aspect of modernity that the stinking cess-pit of Africa has embraced, it's corrupt military dictatorships. Present-day Africa is mainly notable for the number of [[Hitlers|Nigglers]] that it has produced, some of whom are so spectacularly mad and vicious that they make [[Saddam Hussein]] look like a jolly decent chap and a bit of a shrinking violet. None of Africa's tyrants has ever been overthrown by the USA, but that might be because America knows from [[Slavery|first-hand experience]] that freeing niggers just isn't worth the trouble in the long run. Here is a slideshow of some of the dark continent's [[Notable|top-rated]] tyrants.  
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File:Zimbabwe president robert mugabe.jpg|'''President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' failed several times as a [[Communist|marxist]] [[Terrorist|terrorist,]] before being<br>''democratically elected'' president in 1980. This was a purely symbolic role with no actual powers, so<br>in 1987 he had himself declared the head of state, head of government, and<br>commander-in-chief of the armed forces, in which positions he continued until<br>he was overthrown in another military coup on November 14, 2017.<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' Destroying the Zimbabwean economy by stealing farmland from white farmers (who<br>were capable of actually managing it) and giving it to homeless niggers instead (who weren't). <br>Suddenly, there were food shortages, 80% unemployment, inflation hit 100,000%, and life expectancy<br>slumped to 36 for men and 34 for women. Mugabe is currently 184 years old and<br>seems certain to achieve his cherished ambition of outliving everyone else in Zimbabwe.
File:Zimbabwe president robert mugabe.jpg|'''President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' failed several times as a [[Communist|marxist]] [[Terrorist|terrorist,]] before being<br>''democratically elected'' president in 1980. This was a purely symbolic role with no actual powers, so<br>in 1987 he had himself declared the head of state, head of government, and<br>commander-in-chief of the armed forces, in which positions he continued until<br>he was overthrown in another military coup on November 14, 2017.<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' Destroying the Zimbabwean economy by stealing farmland from white farmers (who<br>were capable of actually managing it) and giving it to homeless niggers instead (who weren't). <br>Suddenly, there were food shortages, 80% unemployment, inflation hit 100,000%, and life expectancy<br>slumped to 36 for men and 34 for women. Mugabe is currently 184 years old and<br>seems certain to achieve his cherished ambition of outliving everyone else in Zimbabwe.
File:Emmerson Mnangagwa interim president of zimbabwe.jpg|300px|'''Interim president Emmerson Mnangagwa of Zimbabwe'''<br>'''AKA:''' "The Crocodile"<br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' November 14, 2017<br>Survived Mugabe's earlier attempt to assassinate him with magical explosive diahorrea (see below)<br>and went into exile, is now back with a vengeance and promising "change".<br>Which probably means more of the same.
File:Emmerson Mnangagwa interim president of zimbabwe.jpg|300px|'''Interim president Emmerson Mnangagwa of Zimbabwe'''<br>'''AKA:''' "The Crocodile"<br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' November 14, 2017<br>Survived Mugabe's earlier attempt to assassinate him with magical explosive diahorrea (see below)<br>and went into exile, is now back with a vengeance and promising "change".<br>Which probably means more of the same.
File:Francisco macas nguema, president of equatorial guinea (1968-1979).jpg|'''President Macias Nguema of Equatorial Guinea'''<br>'''Full title:''' TL;DR because he kept adding stuff, such as "Unique Miracle" and "Grand Master of <br>Education, Science, and Culture" before finally changing the national motto<br>to  ''"There is no other God than Macías Nguema"'' which pretty much covered everything<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' ''Democratically elected in 1966'' but abolished the constitution and<br>all opposition political parties in 1971 and declared himself supreme ruler (deposed 1979 by his own nephew)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' insanity, murder, banning boat-fishing in case any of his subjects tried to escape (he turned the <br>only road out of Guinea into a minefield, for the same reason), keeping the entire treasury balance in<br>suitcases under his bed, and carrying out the lulziest assassination of all time (forcing 150 opponents<br>into a football stadium, and having them shot on Christmas Eve by snipers dressed<br>as Santa Claus while playing "Those Were the Days" by Mary Hopkin over the PA system)
File:Francisco Macas Nguema.jpg|'''President Macias Nguema of Equatorial Guinea'''<br>'''Full title:''' TL;DR because he kept adding stuff, such as "Unique Miracle" and "Grand Master of <br>Education, Science, and Culture" before finally changing the national motto<br>to  ''"There is no other God than Macías Nguema"'' which pretty much covered everything<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' ''Democratically elected in 1966'' but abolished the constitution and<br>all opposition political parties in 1971 and declared himself supreme ruler (deposed 1979 by his own nephew)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' insanity, murder, banning boat-fishing in case any of his subjects tried to escape (he turned the <br>only road out of Guinea into a minefield, for the same reason), keeping the entire treasury balance in<br>suitcases under his bed, and carrying out the lulziest assassination of all time (forcing 150 opponents<br>into a football stadium, and having them shot on Christmas Eve by snipers dressed<br>as Santa Claus while playing "Those Were the Days" by Mary Hopkin over the PA system)
File:Equatorial guinea president teodoro obiang nguema mbasogo.jpg|'''President Obiang Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1979, by deposing and murdering [[:File:Francisco macas nguema, president of equatorial guinea (1968-1979).jpg|his uncle.]] (still in power as of 2017)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being a case of "meet the new boss, same as the old boss." President Mbasogo is officially “the<br>country’s god” with “all power over men and things.” In case anyone missed that subtlety, it has<br>been clarified that the president “can decide to kill without anyone calling him to account and without<br>going to hell.” What with his uncle and now him, Equatorial Guinea itself already resembles Hell, with<br>government-sanctioned kidnapping, torture administered by the security service, casual murders conducted<br>quite openly, and (of course) cannibalism. The discovery of oil in Equatorial Guinea has done nothing to alleviate<br>poverty, unless you are Mbasogo himself who has amassed between $600 million and $1 billion, thank you very much.
File:Equatorial guinea president teodoro obiang nguema mbasogo.jpg|'''President Obiang Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1979, by deposing and murdering [[:File:Francisco Macas Nguema.jpg|his uncle.]] (still in power as of 2017)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being a case of "meet the new boss, same as the old boss." President Mbasogo is officially “the<br>country’s god” with “all power over men and things.” In case anyone missed that subtlety, it has<br>been clarified that the president “can decide to kill without anyone calling him to account and without<br>going to hell.” What with his uncle and now him, Equatorial Guinea itself already resembles Hell, with<br>government-sanctioned kidnapping, torture administered by the security service, casual murders conducted<br>quite openly, and (of course) cannibalism. The discovery of oil in Equatorial Guinea has done nothing to alleviate<br>poverty, unless you are Mbasogo himself who has amassed between $600 million and $1 billion, thank you very much.
File:Chad_president_(1982-90)_hissène_habré.jpg|'''President Hissène Habré of Chad'''<br>'''Also Known As:''' ''"Africa's Pinochet"'' (explanation below)<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1982, deposed 1990 (see next slide)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' the usual. Armed and financed by the USA  during the [[Ronald Reagan|Reagan administration]] [https://www.democracynow.org/2016/5/31/from_us_ally_to_convicted_war] due to<br>his opposition to [[Muammar_Gaddafi|Libya.]] Hence the above-mentioned nickname. His luck ran out when<br>the Gipper toddled off into retirement, and he was overthrown just two years later. Convicted in 2016 of<br>numerous war crimes and crimes against humanity (i.e., rape, sexual slavery, torturing 200,000 people<br>and ordering the murders of 40,000 more). Now serving life imprisonment with no parole.
File:President Hissène Habré of Chad and his Nigga Ronald.jpg|'''President Hissène Habré of Chad'''<br>'''Also Known As:''' ''"Africa's Pinochet"'' (explanation below)<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1982, deposed 1990 (see next slide)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' the usual. Armed and financed by the USA  during the [[Ronald Reagan|Reagan administration]] [https://www.democracynow.org/2016/5/31/from_us_ally_to_convicted_war] due to<br>his opposition to [[Muammar_Gaddafi|Libya.]] Hence the above-mentioned nickname. His luck ran out when<br>the Gipper toddled off into retirement, and he was overthrown just two years later. Convicted in 2016 of<br>numerous war crimes and crimes against humanity (i.e., rape, sexual slavery, torturing 200,000 people<br>and ordering the murders of 40,000 more). Now serving life imprisonment with no parole.
File:President_idriss_déby_of_chad_on_his_fucking_gold_throne.jpg|'''President Idriss Déby of Chad'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' Deposed [[:File:Chad_president_(1982-90)_hissène_habré.jpg|that guy]] in 1990 (still in power as of 2017)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being in power when Chad's oil reserves were discovered and tapped in the<br>mid-90s, leading to a flood of state income that has [[O RLY|simply disappeared]] somewhere along the line.<br>In 2005-6, Chad was voted the most corrupt nation on the entire planet. As of 2017 Chad is<br>officially listed as a [[Fail|"Failed State,"]] and is the [[Poor|seventh-poorest]] country on Earth, with<br>80% of the population living at subsistence level or below.
File:President_idriss_déby_of_chad_on_his_fucking_gold_throne.jpg|'''President Idriss Déby of Chad'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' Deposed [[:File:Chad_president_(1982-90)_hissène_habré.jpg|that guy]] in 1990 (still in power as of 2017)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being in power when Chad's oil reserves were discovered and tapped in the<br>mid-90s, leading to a flood of state income that has [[O RLY|simply disappeared]] somewhere along the line.<br>In 2005-6, Chad was voted the most corrupt nation on the entire planet. As of 2017 Chad is<br>officially listed as a [[Fail|"Failed State,"]] and is the [[Poor|seventh-poorest]] country on Earth, with<br>80% of the population living at subsistence level or below.
File:Charles taylor president of liberia (1997-2003).jpg|'''President Charles Taylor of Liberia'''<br>'''Campaign slogan:''' ''"He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I'll vote for him"'' (Trufax! [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/aug/04/westafrica.qanda])<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1996, went legit by getting elected the next year (deposed 2003)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' in the words of the judge at Taylor's 2012 trial: "aiding and abetting<br>as well as planning some of the most heinous and brutal crimes recorded in human history"; <br>also the first head of state to be convicted of war crimes since [[Who?|Karl Donitz]] at [[100 years ago|Nuremberg.]] Guilty on<br>11 counts of war crimes (and crimes against humanity), including terrorism, sexual slavery, child conscription,<br>pillage, rape, and murder. (No cannibalism, though.) Currently serving [[Over 9000|50]] years in [[England|England.]]<br>&bull;'''Fun fact:''' conspired with televangelist [[Pat Robertson]] to set up a mining operation and<br>sell black market diamonds under cover of "humanitarian relief missions"
File:Charles taylor president of liberia (1997-2003).jpg|'''President Charles Taylor of Liberia'''<br>'''Campaign slogan:''' ''"He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I'll vote for him"'' (Trufax! [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/aug/04/westafrica.qanda])<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1996, went legit by getting elected the next year (deposed 2003)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' in the words of the judge at Taylor's 2012 trial: "aiding and abetting<br>as well as planning some of the most heinous and brutal crimes recorded in human history"; <br>also the first head of state to be convicted of war crimes since [[Who?|Karl Donitz]] at [[100 years ago|Nuremberg.]] Guilty on<br>11 counts of war crimes (and crimes against humanity), including terrorism, sexual slavery, child conscription,<br>pillage, rape, and murder. (No cannibalism, though.) Currently serving [[Over 9000|50]] years in [[England|England.]]<br>&bull;'''Fun fact:''' conspired with televangelist [[Pat Robertson]] to set up a mining operation and<br>sell black market diamonds under cover of "humanitarian relief missions"
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File:President_juvénal_"rapeface"_habyarimana_of_rwanda.jpg|'''President [[Elvis Presley|Juvénal Habyarimana]] of Rwanda'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1973, stood for unopposed re-election in 1978 (and got<br>98.99% of the vote), 1983 (got 99.97%), and 1988 (got 99.98%).<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being [[Duh|a totalitarian dictator]] who rounded up crowds who were<br>then forced by soldiers to worship him by singing and dancing during his rallies.<br> Not nearly extreme enough, so he was assassinated in 1994 and<br>replaced with a puppet president who was more enthusiastic about genocide (see next slide)
File:President_juvénal_"rapeface"_habyarimana_of_rwanda.jpg|'''President [[Elvis Presley|Juvénal Habyarimana]] of Rwanda'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1973, stood for unopposed re-election in 1978 (and got<br>98.99% of the vote), 1983 (got 99.97%), and 1988 (got 99.98%).<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' being [[Duh|a totalitarian dictator]] who rounded up crowds who were<br>then forced by soldiers to worship him by singing and dancing during his rallies.<br> Not nearly extreme enough, so he was assassinated in 1994 and<br>replaced with a puppet president who was more enthusiastic about genocide (see next slide)
File:Theodore sindikubwabo, president of rwanda (april-july 1994).png|'''[[Resident Evil|Acting President]] Théodore Sindikubwabo of Rwanda'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' was ''installed as acting president by a military junta,'' on<br>April 9, 1994, three days after the assassination of [[:File:President_juvénal_"rapeface"_habyarimana_of_rwanda.jpg|his predecessor]] (overthrown himself on July 19, 1994)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' presiding over the most efficient genocide in history, with an<br>estimated 1,000,000 niggers killed in just under 100 days
File:Theodore sindikubwabo, president of rwanda (april-july 1994).png|'''[[Resident Evil|Acting President]] Théodore Sindikubwabo of Rwanda'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' was ''installed as acting president by a military junta,'' on<br>April 9, 1994, three days after the assassination of [[:File:President_juvénal_"rapeface"_habyarimana_of_rwanda.jpg|his predecessor]] (overthrown himself on July 19, 1994)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' presiding over the most efficient genocide in history, with an<br>estimated 1,000,000 niggers killed in just under 100 days
File:Sudan_president_omar_al_bashir.jpg|'''President Omar al-Bashir of Sudan'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1980 (still in power, having fiddled three subsequent elections)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' overseeing a civil war that killed around 500,000 Sudanese and displaced<br>around 2.5m more (out of a total population of 6.2m).<br><br>Currently subject to a global arrest warrant issued by the International<br>Criminal Court in 2009, after indictment on five counts of crimes against humanity<br>(murder, extermination, forcible transfer, torture and rape) and two counts<br>of war crimes (pillaging and intentionally directing attacks against civilians)
 
File:Mengistu Haile Mariam 3.jpg|'''President Mengistu Haile Mariam of Ethiopia'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' <br>was installed as acting Head of State by a military junta, later appointed president of Ethiopia  <br>was Acting Head of State for 11 days under the [[Communist|Marxist]] military junta named the Derg, <br>later became Head of State 3 February 1977 and established the People's republic of Ethiopia <br>of which he was President until his forced resignation 10 September 1991. <br><br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' [[Torture|Torturing]] and murdering up to a million of his political opponents,<br> forcing his people to live in the [[AIDS|disease filled]] areas of the country during a time of frequent drought, <br>causing two separate famines, starving up to 2 million of his subjects to death and being <br>so unpopular that every political party in the country united in a civil war to depose him.
 
File:Sudan_president_omar_al_bashir.jpg|'''President Omar al-Bashir of Sudan'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1980 (overthrown in 2019)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' overseeing a civil war that killed around 500,000 Sudanese and displaced<br>around 2.5m more (out of a total population of 6.2m).<br><br>Currently subject to a global arrest warrant issued by the International<br>Criminal Court in 2009, after indictment on five counts of crimes against humanity<br>(murder, extermination, forcible transfer, torture and rape) and two counts<br>of war crimes (pillaging and intentionally directing attacks against civilians)
File:Togo_president_(1967-2005)_gnassingbé_eyadéma.jpg|'''[[Zombie|President]] Gnassingbé Eyadéma of Togo'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1967 (died in office, 2005)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' starring as an indestructible superhero in his own state-published comic and<br>making it compulsory reading in schools, having a troupe of 1,000 negresses who sang and<br>danced in his praise at public appearances, and attempting to go legit by standing for<br>election in 1993. He ran unopposed and got 96% of the vote. In 1998 he was re-elected (on a low turnout due<br>to voters fearing for their lives after hundreds of opposition party activists were mysteriously murdered).
File:Togo_president_(1967-2005)_gnassingbé_eyadéma.jpg|'''[[Zombie|President]] Gnassingbé Eyadéma of Togo'''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1967 (died in office, 2005)<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' starring as an indestructible superhero in his own state-published comic and<br>making it compulsory reading in schools, having a troupe of 1,000 negresses who sang and<br>danced in his praise at public appearances, and attempting to go legit by standing for<br>election in 1993. He ran unopposed and got 96% of the vote. In 1998 he was re-elected (on a low turnout due<br>to voters fearing for their lives after hundreds of opposition party activists were mysteriously murdered).
File:Malawi president hastings kamuzu banda.jpg|'''President Hastings Banda of Mawali'''<br>'''Full title:''' ''"His Excellency the Life President of the Republic of Malaŵi, Ngwazi Dr. Hastings Kamuzu Banda."''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' ''Became Prime Minister'' (not elected) when Malawi gained independence in 1964.<br>He then rewrote the constitution and got himself elected "President for Life" in a single-candidate vote.<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' As Banda himself put it: "Everything I say is literally the law." TV was illegal, books were edited by hand<br>before sale, telephone calls were rationed and monitored (and terminated if politics was mentioned), official<br>portraits were hung in every room (and there was a law against hanging anything at<br>a greater height than the portrait), mail was opened and edited on an industrial scale, all adults were<br>required to become members of Banda's political party (in a one-party state), nudity and kissing were<br>edited out of movies before theatrical release, men were subject to enforced haircuts to ensure<br>social decorum, you get the idea. Had four of his cabinet ministers murdered by hammering<br>tent-pegs into their skulls and then declared they had been killed in an auto-collision.
File:Malawi president hastings kamuzu banda.jpg|'''President Hastings Banda of Mawali'''<br>'''Full title:''' ''"His Excellency the Life President of the Republic of Malaŵi, Ngwazi Dr. Hastings Kamuzu Banda."''<br><br>&bull;'''Seized power in a military coup:''' ''Became Prime Minister'' (not elected) when Malawi gained independence in 1964.<br>He then rewrote the constitution and got himself elected "President for Life" in a single-candidate vote.<br>&bull;'''Notable for:''' As Banda himself put it: "Everything I say is literally the law." TV was illegal, books were edited by hand<br>before sale, telephone calls were rationed and monitored (and terminated if politics was mentioned), official<br>portraits were hung in every room (and there was a law against hanging anything at<br>a greater height than the portrait), mail was opened and edited on an industrial scale, all adults were<br>required to become members of Banda's political party (in a one-party state), nudity and kissing were<br>edited out of movies before theatrical release, men were subject to enforced haircuts to ensure<br>social decorum, you get the idea. Had four of his cabinet ministers murdered by hammering<br>tent-pegs into their skulls and then declared they had been killed in an auto-collision.
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</center>
</center>
<br>
<br>
{{clear}}
===Censorship===
===Censorship===
<br>
<br>
<center>
<center>
{{frame|<center><gallery perrow=4>
{{frame|<center><gallery perrow=4>
File:Scouting for the reaper by jacob m appel.jpg|Book of short stories, banned in Eritrea since 2014 (Read it here: [https://archive.org/stream/ScoutingForTheReaper/Scouting%20for%20the%20Reaper_djvu.txt])
File:Scouting for the reaper by jacob m appel.jpg|Book of short stories, banned in Eritrea since 2014 (Read it {{waybackvid|ScoutingForTheReaper|here}})
File:Eritrea famine - smuggled photo (2017).png|Reporting of Eritrean famine, banned 2017 (Read about it here: [https://www.newstatesman.com/world/africa/2017/04/famine-eritrean-government-doesnt-want-you-know-about])
File:Eritrea famine - smuggled photo (2017).png|Reporting of Eritrean famine, banned 2017 (Read about it here: [https://www.newstatesman.com/world/2017/04/famine-eritrean-government-doesnt-want-you-know-about])
File:'my father's daughter' (memoir) by hannah pool.jpg|Banned in Eritrea (Free audiobook: [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5lenqp])
File:'my father's daughter' (memoir) by hannah pool.jpg|Banned in Eritrea (Read it {{waybackvid|myfathersdaughte0000pool|here}})
File:'i didn't do it for you' by michela wrong.jpg|Banned in Eritrea (Free text files here: [https://filesgat795.firebaseapp.com/aa055/i-didnt-do-it-for-you-how-the-world-betrayed-a-small-african-nation-by-michela-wrong-0060780932.pdf] - PDF link)
File:'i didn't do it for you' by michela wrong.jpg|Banned in Eritrea (Read it {{waybackvid|ididntdoitforyou00wron|here}})
</gallery>
</gallery>
<gallery perrow=5>
<gallery perrow=5>
File:'the spear' by brett murray (portrait of jacob zuma).jpg|Painting, banned in South Africa, 2016
File:'the spear' by brett murray (portrait of jacob zuma).jpg|Painting, banned in South Africa, 2016
File:(untitled) by aliaa magda elmahdy.jpg|Banned for obscenity in Egypt, 2015
File:DEL_isis_shit.jpg|Banned for obscenity in Egypt, 2015
File:'sex retreat' collage by john kamicha.jpg|Banned in Kenya, 2017
File:'sex retreat' collage by john kamicha.jpg|Banned in Kenya, 2017
panel 27 of 'china loves africa' by Michael Soi (2016).jpg|Banned in Kenya, 2016
panel 27 of 'china loves africa' by Michael Soi (2016).jpg|Banned in Kenya, 2016
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==African TV==
==African TV==
Incredibly, [[Electric Jew|television]] has been accepted by the people of Africa, without TV salesmen being hacked to death by villagers. Since the entire continent is essentially medieval but with electricity, [[Some argue|it is believed]] that Africans regard TV as a form of crystal ball, which reveals faraway wonders when it is gazed upon. And it does indeed produce wonders, if you are from a civilized country you will scarcely believe your eyes at the content produced for African audiences.
Incredibly, [[Electric Jew|television]] has been accepted by the people of Africa, without TV salesmen being hacked to death by villagers. Since the entire continent is essentially medieval but with electricity, [[Some argue|it is believed]] that Africans regard TV as a form of crystal ball, which reveals faraway wonders when it is gazed upon. And it does indeed produce wonders, if you are from a civilized country you will scarcely believe your eyes at the content produced for African audiences.
<br>
 
<br>
 
<center>
{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|africatv|background-color:#9c7248;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
{{frame|
{{videoframe|africatv|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>YsIlobAgqds</youtube>
|<youtube>YsIlobAgqds</youtube>
;A hard-hitting Kenyan TV News investigation that makes several [[WTF|unexpected]] [[Non sequiturs|detours]]
;A hard-hitting Kenyan TV News investigation that makes several [[WTF|unexpected]] [[Non sequiturs|detours]]
|<youtube>w7G4opKWc9Q</youtube>
|<youtube>w7G4opKWc9Q</youtube>
;November 17, 1993 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."<br>(You can tell he means [[Serious business|business]] when he promises to eliminate [[419|419)]]
;November 17, 1993 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."(You can tell he means [[Serious business|business]] when he promises to eliminate [[419|419)]]
|<youtube>C1WnK8z9pzk</youtube>
|<youtube>C1WnK8z9pzk</youtube>
;Troublesome mermaids are dealt with firmly in Nigeria. Full-length original {{ytlink|IKCSwwens88|here}}
;Troublesome mermaids are dealt with firmly in Nigeria. Full-length original {{ytlink|IKCSwwens88|here}}
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;November 14, 2017 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
;November 14, 2017 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
|<youtube>Zsh_LxEg77w</youtube>
|<youtube>Zsh_LxEg77w</youtube>
;A well-edited episode of Ghana's favorite drama series climaxes in a gruelling fight<br>(May or not be in English, can't really tell for sure)
;A well-edited episode of Ghana's favorite drama series climaxes in a gruelling fight (May or not be in English, can't really tell for sure)
|<youtube>8vMEYoUqMsA</youtube>
|<youtube>8vMEYoUqMsA</youtube>
;A typical TV advertising campaign, based on everyday African life
;A typical TV advertising campaign, based on everyday African life}}
}}|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
|border=#6f4f1d|background=#9c7248}}
</center>
|}}
 


==Europe and Africa==
==Europe and Africa==
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<br>
<br>
{{cg|BzzzzzBzzzzzzBzzzz....|africagallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|BzzzzzBzzzzzzBzzzz....|africagallery|center|<gallery>
File:Lolafrica1.jpg|What multiculturalist white apologists won't tell you.
File:Typical african street entertainment.jpg
File:Benjamin Muller Sings Chassidic Sound of Africa.jpg
File:Baby "raped to death" - zululand observer (june 25, 2018).png
File:Shito - produce of ghana, africa.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4>
<!--Image:MeanwhileAfrica.jpg|Meanwhile, in [[Africa]].-->
<!--Image:MeanwhileAfrica.jpg|Meanwhile, in [[Africa]].-->
File:Unknown epidemic kills 70 kids (nigeria).jpg|Yet another pandemic averted (by an over-efficient virus)
File:Mutant goat - limpopo, africa (2016).png|Goat-fucking is commonplace
File:Africa - true relative size map.jpg|Never in human history has so little been achieved by so many with so much
File:Africa - true relative size map.jpg|Never in human history has so little been achieved by so many with so much
Image:Starved girl.jpg|Obesity is a growing problem for every [[Сибирской говор|child in Africa]].
File:Lolafrica1.jpg|What multiculturalist white apologists won't tell you.
Image:Rockafrica.jpg|What Africa looks like on [[Google]] Maps at the highest zoom level.
Image:Rockafrica.jpg|What Africa looks like on [[Google]] Maps at the highest zoom level.
Image:Starved girl.jpg|Obesity is a growing problem for every [[Сибирской говор|child in Africa]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Enslave_black_people.jpg|PonguigPeopinn presents a novel solution to the problem in Africa, only to be shouted down by indoctrinated fools.
Image:Enslave_black_people.jpg|PonguigPeopinn presents a novel solution to the problem in Africa, only to be shouted down by indoctrinated fools.
Image:Starving child.jpg|National Flag of Africa, featuring a [[typical]] resident covered in bugs.
Image:Starving child.jpg|National Flag of Africa, featuring a [[typical]] resident covered in bugs.
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== See also ==
== See also ==
[[File:Togo president general eyadéma gnassingbé (1972).png|right|350px]]
[[File:Togo president general eyadéma gnassingbé (1972).png|right|350px]]
* [[$100 Laptop]]
*[[$100 Laptop]]
* [[419]]
*[[419]]
* [[AIDS]]
*[[AIDS]]
* [[Afrocentrism]] - let's face it, if you were from Africa, you'd prefer this fantasy too
*[[Afrocentrism]] - let's face it, if you were from Africa, you'd prefer this fantasy too
* [[Apartheid]]
*[[Apartheid]]
* [[Black chicks]]
*[[Black chicks]]
* [[Black History Month]]
*[[Black History Month]]
* [[Botswana]]
*[[Botswana]]
* [[The child in Africa|Child in Africa, the]]
*[[The child in Africa|Child in Africa, the]]
* [[Detroit]] - A fully-representative African colony
*[[Detroit]] - A fully-representative African colony
* [[Ebola]]
*[[Digital Blackface]]
* [[HowToBasic]], an insane Australian YouTuber with great contempt for Africa's starving people
*[[Ebola]]
* [[Dogo Nahawa Massacre]]
*[[HowToBasic]], an insane Australian YouTuber with great contempt for Africa's starving people
* [[Jenkem]]
*[[Dogo Nahawa Massacre]]
* [[Kenya]]
*[[Jenkem]]
* [[Joseph Kony|Kony, Joseph]]
*[[Kenya]]
* [[Kwanzaa]]
*[[Joseph Kony|Kony, Joseph]]
* [[Poor]]
*[[Kwanzaa]]
* [[Rape]]
*[[Poor]]
* [[Martin Ssempa|Ssempa, Martin]]
*[[Rape]]
* [[Slavery]]
*[[Martin Ssempa|Ssempa, Martin]]
* [[Tanzania|Tarzan]]
*[[Slavery]]
* [[Voodoo]]
*[[Tanzania|Tarzan]]
* [[War]]
*[[Voodoo]]
* [[World Cup 2010]]
*[[War]]
*[[World Cup 2010]]


==External links==
==External links==
* [http://www.chronicle.co.zw/updated-croc-appears-from-nowhere-terrorises-residents/ '''Zimbabwe hospital besieged by out-of-control wizard who transformed into were-crocodile'''] (Archived: {{archive|zh0Np|1}} {{wayback|http://www.chronicle.co.zw/updated-croc-appears-from-nowhere-terrorises-residents/|title=2}})
*[https://malawi24.com/2016/12/29/bizarre-malawian-woman-gives-birth-two-stones/ '''Witchcraft suspected after Malawian hospital confirms woman gave birth to twin stones'''] (Archived: {{archive|s1srj|1}} {{wayback|https://malawi24.com/2016/12/29/bizarre-malawian-woman-gives-birth-two-stones/|title=2}})
* [https://www.iol.co.za/pretoria-news/plague-outbreak-in-madagascar-worsens-11738757 '''Annual six-month-long epidemic of the bubonic plague currently rated "the severest in living memory"'''] (Archived: {{archive|SC4Ls|1}} {{wayback|https://www.iol.co.za/pretoria-news/plague-outbreak-in-madagascar-worsens-11738757|title=2}})
*{{archive|TsfJc|Liberian immigration officer "swallowed by Devil"}} ({{wayback|https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/country-devil-swallows-immigration-officer/|title=2}})
** [https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-10-plague-madagascar-dead.html '''Annual six-month-long epidemic of the bubonic plague and annual festival of dancing with corpses "could be related"'''] (Archived: {{archive|tE6IG|1}} {{wayback|https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-10-plague-madagascar-dead.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|Ds2Ws|Zambian man "9 months pregnant" within 48 hours of fucking someone else's wife}} ({{webcite|76kpOU8R4|2}})
* [http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/eastern-cape-man-gets-year-in-jail-for-having-sex-with-donkey-20170928 '''Witchdoctor tells man that fucking a donkey will make him grow strong (he does it, of course)'''] (Archived: {{archive|NOxKZ|1}} {{wayback|http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/eastern-cape-man-gets-year-in-jail-for-having-sex-with-donkey-20170928|title=2}})
*{{archive|4JrtN|Infestation of mermaids poses "serious problem" for Zimbabwean dam project}} ({{wayback|http://www.b-metro.co.zw/mermaids-crocodiles-unleash-terror-on-gokwe-villagers/|title=2}})
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-41072524 '''Nigger walks into police station and says he's bored with eating human flesh, five cannibal accomplices are arrested, and then it turns out the whole village (300 nigs) have been digging up graves and eating the corpses for years'''] (Archived: {{archive|q0RSe|1}} {{wayback|http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-41072524|title=2}})
*[https://www.graphic.com.gh/news/odd-news/man-accused-of-raping-goat-says-he-asked-the-animal-for-permission.html '''Nog gets arrested while raping goat, pleads not guilty because he had "asked for the goat's permission"'''] (Archived: {{archive|GF41y|1}} {{wayback|https://www.graphic.com.gh/news/odd-news/man-accused-of-raping-goat-says-he-asked-the-animal-for-permission.html|title=2}})
* [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-40185359 '''Mozambique witch-doctors acquire severed human heads for magic spells by telling other niggers that bald men have gold hidden inside their skulls'''] (Archived: {{archive|7B3jC|1}} {{wayback|http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-40185359|title=2}})
*{{archive|M4tef|Travelling prophet lifts accident-strewn Zambian highway curse, warns ghostly culprit "God will not tolerate the nonsense"}} ({{wayback|https://www.zambianobserver.com/motorists-panic-over-ghost-human-in-kabwe-lusaka-road/|title=2}})
* [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/19/malawi-mobs-kill-two-more-people-accused-of-being-vampires '''Mob burns epileptic man to death in Malawi during nationwide hysteria about vampires'''] (Archived: {{archive|IiZMp|1}} {{wayback|https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/19/malawi-mobs-kill-two-more-people-accused-of-being-vampires|title=2}})
*[https://www.thezimbabwemail.com/bizarre/goblins-seize-maternity-ward/ '''Zimbabwe nurses in anal trauma after maternity hospital is seized by sex-mad goblins'''] (Archived: {{archive|6yTrP|1}} {{wayback|https://www.thezimbabwemail.com/bizarre/goblins-seize-maternity-ward/|title=2}})
** [https://www.reuters.com/article/us-malawi-violence/malawi-vigilante-arrests-rise-to-200-in-vampire-scare-idUSKBN1CT2CX '''The UN and USA declare Malawi a "no-go area" as ongoing vampire-vanquishing violence kills nine and leads to 200 arrests'''] (Archived: {{archive|kiKgK|1}} {{wayback|https://www.reuters.com/article/us-malawi-violence/malawi-vigilante-arrests-rise-to-200-in-vampire-scare-idUSKBN1CT2CX|title=2}})
*[https://www.thecitizen.co.tz/News/10-children-brutally-killed-in-suspected-ritual-murders/1840340-4954892-lrarx/index.html '''Witchcraft "suspected" in Tanzania as ten niglets are found dead with their tongues and genitals cut out'''] (Archived: {{archive|OGJBm|1}} {{webcite|75og7ZHCY|2}})
*** [https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/africa/2017-12-05-panic-and-vengeful-mobs-as-vampire-scare-rattles-malawi/ '''Malawi Prime Minister addresses nation, denounces the continuing vampire hysteria as a foreign conspiracy to destabilize the country'''] (Archived: {{archive|kTimk|1}} {{wayback|https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/africa/2017-12-05-panic-and-vengeful-mobs-as-vampire-scare-rattles-malawi/|title=2}})
**[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47447103 '''Tanzanian child murders: 65 witchdoctors arrested'''] (Archived: {{archive|EpH4i|1}} {{wayback|https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47447103|title=2}})
* [http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3168-a-daring-gokwe-mermaid-snatches-two-boys-and-shows-them-off-before-killing-them.html '''Gokwe police chief confirms prime suspect in murder investigation is "a daring mermaid"''' (PHOTO!)] (Archived: {{archive|bj4Rj|1}} {{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3168-a-daring-gokwe-mermaid-snatches-two-boys-and-shows-them-off-before-killing-them.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.egyptindependent.com/egypt-court-imprisons-woman-for-sexually-harassing-a-monkey/ '''Egyptian woman jailed for sexual molestation of monkey'''] (Archived: {{webcite|7511yaOFU|1}} {{wayback|https://ww.egyptindependent.com/egypt-court-imprisons-woman-for-sexually-harassing-a-monkey/|title=2}} {{waybackvid|side_958|THE VIDEO!}})
* [https://english.alarabiya.net/en/variety/2017/10/30/Egyptian-lawyer-says-raping-women-who-wear-ripped-jeans-is-national-duty-.html '''Egyptian men have "a national duty" to rape women who wear ripped jeans'''] (Archived: {{archive|kotPd|1}} {{wayback|https://english.alarabiya.net/en/variety/2017/10/30/Egyptian-lawyer-says-raping-women-who-wear-ripped-jeans-is-national-duty-.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.afro.who.int/news/malaria-control-campaign-launched-democratic-republic-congo-save-lives-and-aid-ebola-response '''Simultaneous Malaria epidemic hampers efforts to tackle the Congo's 10th Ebola epidemic in the last 40 years'''] (Archived: {{archive|MUnWM|1}} {{wayback|https://afro.who.int/news/malaria-control-campaign-launched-democratic-republic-congo-save-lives-and-aid-ebola-response|title=2}})
* [https://edaily.co.ke/entertainment/witchdoctors-bizarre-bicycle-pump-treatment-leaves-man-dead-128357/crazy-world '''Witchdoctor arrested for murder after inflating a nigger's dick with a bicycle pump "to boost virility"'''] (Archived: {{archive|xC6HH|1}} {{wayback|https://edaily.co.ke/entertainment/witchdoctors-bizarre-bicycle-pump-treatment-leaves-man-dead-128357/crazy-world|title=2}})
*[https://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/Man-confesses-to-using-675-people-for-sacrifice-reveals-secrets-of-fake-pastors-669559 '''Ghanaian devil-worshiper confesses to 675 sacrificial child-murders'''] (Archived: {{archive|NJRqm|1}} {{wayback|https://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/Man-confesses-to-using-675-people-for-sacrifice-reveals-secrets-of-fake-pastors-669559|title=2}})
* [https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/09/11/strange-woman-gives-birth-to-pony/ '''Uproar in Nigerian church congregation as woman gives birth to pony during prayers'''] (Archived: {{archive|rXmlM|1}} {{wayback|https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/09/11/strange-woman-gives-birth-to-pony/|title=2}})
*{{archive|JRFX1|Kenyan man beaten by villagers after fatally raping two chickens}} ({{wayback|http://www.nigerianmonitor.com/kenyan-man-rapes-neighbours-hens-to-death-nigerian-monitor/|title=2}})
* [https://buzzsouthafrica.com/dog-raped-to-death/ '''Dog tied to tree and "raped to death" in Western Cape Province'''] (Archived: {{archive|jJo8Z|1}} {{wayback|https://buzzsouthafrica.com/dog-raped-to-death/|title=2}})
*[https://punchng.com/herbalist-dies-as-client-tests-bullet-repelling-charms-on-him/ '''Nigerian ju-ju man shot dead while demonstrating his magical bullet-proof power'''] (Archived: {{archive|A5Efq|1}} {{wayback|http://punchng.com/herbalist-dies-as-client-tests-bullet-repelling-charms-on-him/|title=2}})
* [https://buzzkenya.com/fear-ugandan-cannibals-enter-kenya/ '''Terror as Ugandan cannibal tribe invades Kenya'''] (Archived: {{archive|74bO1|1}} {{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/fear-ugandan-cannibals-enter-kenya/|title=2}})
*[https://www.chronicle.co.zw/updated-croc-appears-from-nowhere-terrorises-residents/ '''Zimbabwe hospital besieged by out-of-control wizard who transformed into were-crocodile'''] (Archived: {{archive|zh0Np|1}} {{wayback|http://www.chronicle.co.zw/updated-croc-appears-from-nowhere-terrorises-residents/|title=2}})
* [http://www.newzimbabwe.com/news-328-Basket%20flight%20woman%20a%20witch/news.aspx '''Murder suspect travelled to scene in flying basket, expert tells trial judge'''] (Archive: {{archive|V9Tkb|1}} {{wayback|http://www.newzimbabwe.com/news-328-Basket%20flight%20woman%20a%20witch/news.aspx|title=2}})
*{{archive|SC4Ls|Annual six-month-long epidemic of the bubonic plague currently rated "the severest in living memory"}} ({{wayback|https://www.iol.co.za/pretoria-news/plague-outbreak-in-madagascar-worsens-11738757|title=2}})
* [http://www.todaygh.com/bsc-degree-witchcraft-south-african-varsities-go-spiritual/ '''South African education secretary introduces university witchcraft degrees, says "flying baskets may solve fuel shortages"'''] (Archived: {{archive|AAuC4|1}} {{wayback|http://www.todaygh.com/bsc-degree-witchcraft-south-african-varsities-go-spiritual/|title=2}})
**[https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-10-plague-madagascar-dead.html '''Annual six-month-long epidemic of the bubonic plague and annual festival of dancing with corpses "could be related"'''] (Archived: {{archive|tE6IG|1}} {{wayback|https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-10-plague-madagascar-dead.html|title=2}})
* [https://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php/587052-Zuma-reveals-he-used-to-practice-witchcraft-against-white-people '''South African president Jacob Zuma is a witch!'''] (Archived: {{archive|7zBT|1}} {{wayback|https://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php/587052-Zuma-reveals-he-used-to-practice-witchcraft-against-white-people|title=2}})
*[https://www.news24.com/News24/eastern-cape-man-gets-year-in-jail-for-having-sex-with-donkey-20170928 '''Witchdoctor tells man that fucking a donkey will make him grow strong (he does it, of course)'''] (Archived: {{archive|NOxKZ|1}} {{wayback|http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/eastern-cape-man-gets-year-in-jail-for-having-sex-with-donkey-20170928|title=2}})
** [http://www.heraldlive.co.za/politics/2017/09/08/maybe-witchcraft-made-us-lose-poll-western-cape-says-zuma/ '''President Zuma blames witchcraft, ghosts, for local poll defeat'''] (Archived: {{archive|oTMQn|1}} {{wayback|http://www.heraldlive.co.za/politics/2017/09/08/maybe-witchcraft-made-us-lose-poll-western-cape-says-zuma/|title=2}})
*[https://www.lusakatimes.com/2018/11/13/sex-with-an-pregnant-goat-lands-22-year-in-jail-for-5-years-with-hard-labour/ '''Zambian man gets 5 years hard labor for sex with pregnant goat, in court-ordered clampdown on area's "rampant" bestiality'''] (Archived: {{archive|qxu1a|1}} {{wayback|https://www.lusakatimes.com/2018/11/13/sex-with-an-pregnant-goat-lands-22-year-in-jail-for-5-years-with-hard-labour/|title=2}})
* [https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/08/27/mugabe-wades-vp-poisoning-saga/ '''Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe accused of witchcraft after deputy "suffers severe diarrhoea"'''] (Archived: {{archive|jMQzA|1}} {{wayback|https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/08/27/mugabe-wades-vp-poisoning-saga/|title=2}})
*[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-41072524 '''Nigger walks into police station and says he's bored with eating human flesh, five cannibal accomplices are arrested, and then it turns out the whole village (300 nigs) have been digging up graves and eating the corpses for years'''] (Archived: {{archive|q0RSe|1}} {{wayback|http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-41072524|title=2}})
* [http://www.informationng.com/2017/09/see-happened-lady-hasnt-seen-period-6-years-photos.html '''Negress who "hasn't had a period for six years" is located by sorcery, blessed, and releases "fountain of blood"''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|nT3bL|1}} {{wayback|http://www.informationng.com/2017/09/see-happened-lady-hasnt-seen-period-6-years-photos.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-40185359 '''Mozambique witch-doctors acquire severed human heads for magic spells by telling other niggers that bald men have gold hidden inside their skulls'''] (Archived: {{archive|7B3jC|1}} {{wayback|http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-40185359|title=2}})
* [https://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2014-01-10-pretoria-pastor-convinces-congregation-to-eat-grass/ '''Preacher convinces pack of nigger "disciples" into eating the grass in his garden''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|62x5V|1}} {{wayback|https://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2014-01-10-pretoria-pastor-convinces-congregation-to-eat-grass/|title=2}})
*[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/19/malawi-mobs-kill-two-more-people-accused-of-being-vampires '''Mob burns epileptic man to death in Malawi during nationwide hysteria about vampires'''] (Archived: {{archive|IiZMp|1}} {{wayback|https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/19/malawi-mobs-kill-two-more-people-accused-of-being-vampires|title=2}})
* [https://guardian.ng/news/fears-in-benin-over-beheading-strange-deaths/ '''Fear stalks Benin City as warring cults continue ritual beheading spree'''] (Archived: {{archive|r5P9p|1}} {{wayback|https://guardian.ng/news/fears-in-benin-over-beheading-strange-deaths/|title=2}})
**[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-malawi-violence/malawi-vigilante-arrests-rise-to-200-in-vampire-scare-idUSKBN1CT2CX '''The UN and USA declare Malawi a "no-go area" as ongoing vampire-vanquishing violence kills nine and leads to 200 arrests'''] (Archived: {{archive|kiKgK|1}} {{wayback|https://www.reuters.com/article/us-malawi-violence/malawi-vigilante-arrests-rise-to-200-in-vampire-scare-idUSKBN1CT2CX|title=2}})
** [https://www.naija.ng/65130.html '''And it's not the first time, either'''] (Archived: {{archive|xi9cS|1}} {{wayback|https://www.naija.ng/65130.html|title=2}})
***{{archive|kTimk|Malawi Prime Minister addresses nation, denounces the continuing vampire hysteria as a foreign conspiracy to destabilize the country}} ({{wayback|https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/africa/2017-12-05-panic-and-vengeful-mobs-as-vampire-scare-rattles-malawi/|title=2}})
*** [https://www.naija.ng/62568.html '''Still, it's not quite as bad as the time before that'''] (Archived: {{archive|XGpyz|1}} {{wayback|https://www.naija.ng/62568.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|bj4Rj|Gokwe police chief confirms prime suspect in murder investigation is "a daring mermaid"}} ({{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3168-a-daring-gokwe-mermaid-snatches-two-boys-and-shows-them-off-before-killing-them.html|title=2}})
* [https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/060630-soccer-magic.html '''Cows "buried alive" in stadiums to ensure soccer team success'''] (Archived: {{archive|IYdVg|1}} {{wayback|https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/060630-soccer-magic.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|gs8UM|Nigerian preacher "not resurrected" after commanding followers to bury him alive}} ({{wayback|http://www.nigerianmonitor.com/pastor-fails-to-resurrect-after-telling-people-to-bury-him-alive/|title=2}})
* [https://buzzkenya.com/mombasa-man-meets-woman-horse-legs/ '''Mombassa man's mystery death linked to sinister horse-legged woman sighting'''] (Archived: {{archive|ajK68|1}} {{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/mombasa-man-meets-woman-horse-legs/|title=2}})
*[https://english.alarabiya.net/variety/2017/10/30/Egyptian-lawyer-says-raping-women-who-wear-ripped-jeans-is-national-duty- '''Egyptian men have "a national duty" to rape women who wear ripped jeans'''] (Archived: {{archive|kotPd|1}} {{wayback|https://english.alarabiya.net/en/variety/2017/10/30/Egyptian-lawyer-says-raping-women-who-wear-ripped-jeans-is-national-duty-.html|title=2}})
* [http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/odd/657003-drama-as-16-year-old-boy-%E2%80%98loses-manhood%E2%80%99-after-shaking-hands-with-stranger.html '''Soldiers prevent lynching of man suspected of using magic to steal boy's penis while shaking hands'''] (Archived: {{archive|FV1rU|1}} {{wayback|http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/odd/657003-drama-as-16-year-old-boy-%E2%80%98loses-manhood%E2%80%99-after-shaking-hands-with-stranger.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|xC6HH|Witchdoctor arrested for murder after inflating a nigger's dick with a bicycle pump "to boost virility"}} ({{wayback|https://edaily.co.ke/entertainment/witchdoctors-bizarre-bicycle-pump-treatment-leaves-man-dead-128357/crazy-world|title=2}})
* [https://gossip.naija.ng/1112211-woman-allegedly-delivers-catfish-16-months-pregnancy-video.html#1112211 '''South African negress gives birth to catfish following 16-month pregnancy''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|3W4Ir|1}} {{wayback|https://gossip.naija.ng/1112211-woman-allegedly-delivers-catfish-16-months-pregnancy-video.html#1112211|title=2}})
*[https://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/09/11/strange-woman-gives-birth-to-pony/ '''Uproar in Nigerian church congregation as woman gives birth to pony during prayers'''] (Archived: {{archive|rXmlM|1}} {{wayback|https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/09/11/strange-woman-gives-birth-to-pony/|title=2}})
* [https://www.newsghana.com.gh/farmer-kills-woman-over-mushroom/ '''Murder "motivated by mushroom"'''] (Archived: {{archive|ajGzE|1}} {{wayback|https://www.newsghana.com.gh/farmer-kills-woman-over-mushroom/|title=2}})
*[https://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2014-01-10-pretoria-pastor-convinces-congregation-to-eat-grass/ '''Preacher convinces pack of nigger "disciples" into eating the grass in his garden''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|62x5V|1}} {{wayback|https://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2014-01-10-pretoria-pastor-convinces-congregation-to-eat-grass/|title=2}})
* [https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/2-month-old-baby-turns-into-full-grown-man/ '''Eight-week-old baby grows into man in 30 seconds, issues garlic-related threat, escapes into jungle'''] (Archived: {{archive|WdXA8|1}} {{wayback|https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/2-month-old-baby-turns-into-full-grown-man/|title=2}})
**[https://www.pulse.ng/gist/in-gods-name-pastor-gives-disinfectant-to-member-for-miracles-in-south-africa/6gzkfj1 '''... and then convinces them to drink neat disinfectant as a cure''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|htGTy|1}} {{wayback|http://www.pulse.ng/gist/in-god-s-name-pastor-gives-disinfectant-to-member-for-miracles-in-south-africa-id5875867.html|title=2}})
* [https://southafricatoday.net/south-africa-news/a-township-mob-burns-talking-monkey-as-witch/ '''"Talking monkey" burned to death by mob'''] (Archived: {{archive|szlw7|1}} {{wayback|https://southafricatoday.net/south-africa-news/a-township-mob-burns-talking-monkey-as-witch/|title=2}})
***[https://fortheloveofhistruth.com/2014/09/25/grass-eating-pastor-now-has-congregation-drinking-petrol/#more-8085 '''... and gets them to drink gasoline, telling them it has been transformed into pineapple juice''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|dSJwo|1}} {{wayback|https://fortheloveofhistruth.com/2014/09/25/grass-eating-pastor-now-has-congregation-drinking-petrol/#more-8085|title=2}})
* [https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/women-the-witchcraft-cat/ '''Cat eaten after being crucified for witchcraft in Liberia'''] (Archived: {{archive|S6j6U|1}} {{wayback|https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/women-the-witchcraft-cat/|title=2}})
*{{archive|jJo8Z|Dog tied to tree and "raped to death" in Western Cape Province}} ({{wayback|https://buzzsouthafrica.com/dog-raped-to-death/|title=2}})
* [https://buzzkenya.com/man-hired-sex-children-malawian-hyena/ '''Malawi villagers pay magical pedo to fuck 104 of their 12-year-old daughters for three days each'''] (Archived: {{archive|S1INk|1}} {{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/man-hired-sex-children-malawian-hyena/|title=2}})
*{{archive|74bO1|Terror as Ugandan cannibal tribe invades Kenya}} ({{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/fear-ugandan-cannibals-enter-kenya/|title=2}})
* [http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3136-goblins-at-chegato-primary-school-now-molesting-male-teachers.html '''Teachers' testicles "molested by goblins"'''] (Archived: {{archive|q12dQ|1}} {{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3136-goblins-at-chegato-primary-school-now-molesting-male-teachers.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|V9Tkb|Murder suspect travelled to scene in flying basket, expert tells trial judge}} ({{wayback|http://www.newzimbabwe.com/news-328-Basket%20flight%20woman%20a%20witch/news.aspx|title=2}})
* [https://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/news/pupil-dies-during-mass-hysteria-outbreak-7793519 '''School evacuated after pupil dies of hysteria'''] (Archived: {{archive|TKXDX|1}} {{wayback|https://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/news/pupil-dies-during-mass-hysteria-outbreak-7793519|title=2}})
*[https://mybroadband.co.za/forum/threads/zuma-reveals-he-used-to-practice-witchcraft-against-white-people.587052/ '''South African president Jacob Zuma is a witch!'''] (Archived: {{archive|7zBT|1}} {{wayback|https://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php/587052-Zuma-reveals-he-used-to-practice-witchcraft-against-white-people|title=2}})
** [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3588562/ '''Satanism, popular jokes, evil spirits, UFOs "cause of most hysteria outbreaks" in African schools'''] (Archived: {{archive|7dnu4|1}} {{wayback|https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3588562/|title=2}})
**{{archive|oTMQn|President Zuma blames witchcraft, ghosts, for local poll defeat}} ({{wayback|http://www.heraldlive.co.za/politics/2017/09/08/maybe-witchcraft-made-us-lose-poll-western-cape-says-zuma/|title=2}})
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060519084631/http://www.yaleph.com/archive/vol1no1/reg_focus.html '''No end in sight for Sudan's deadly nodding epidemic'''] (Archived: {{archive|MRwkl|1}} {{wayback|http://www.yaleph.com/archive/vol1no1/reg_focus.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/08/27/mugabe-wades-vp-poisoning-saga '''Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe accused of witchcraft after deputy "suffers severe diarrhoea"'''] (Archived: {{archive|jMQzA|1}} {{wayback|https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/08/27/mugabe-wades-vp-poisoning-saga/|title=2}})
* [http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3196-chitungwiza-man-belwildered-as-he-continues-to-mensurate-every-month.html '''Zimbabwean man "starts menstruating after juju curse for marital infidelity"'''] (Archived: {{archive|FjdVr|1}} {{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3196-chitungwiza-man-belwildered-as-he-continues-to-mensurate-every-month.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.informationng.com/2017/09/see-happened-lady-hasnt-seen-period-6-years-photos.html '''Negress who "hasn't had a period for six years" is located by sorcery, blessed, and releases "fountain of blood"''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|nT3bL|1}} ({{wayback|http://www.informationng.com/2017/09/see-happened-lady-hasnt-seen-period-6-years-photos.html|title=2}})
* [http://www.africanews.com/2017/08/01/tanzania-witch-killings-claimed-479-lives-from-january-june-2017-report// '''Average of 80 suspected witches murdered per month in Tanzania'''] (Archived: {{archive|963hB|1}} {{wayback|http://www.africanews.com/2017/08/01/tanzania-witch-killings-claimed-479-lives-from-january-june-2017-report//|title=2}})
*[https://guardian.ng/news/fears-in-benin-over-beheading-strange-deaths/ '''Fear stalks Benin City as warring cults continue ritual beheading spree'''] (Archived: {{archive|r5P9p|1}} {{wayback|https://guardian.ng/news/fears-in-benin-over-beheading-strange-deaths/|title=2}})
* [https://buzzsouthafrica.com/sa-addicts-smoke-human-ashes-nyaope/ '''South Africa's nigger junkies now smoking "joints" that contain stolen cremation ashes'''] (Archived: {{archive|sVLAK|1}} {{wayback|https://buzzsouthafrica.com/sa-addicts-smoke-human-ashes-nyaope/|title=2}})
**[https://www.legit.ng/65130.html '''And it's not the first time, either'''] (Archived: {{archive|xi9cS|1}} {{wayback|https://www.naija.ng/65130.html|title=2}})
* [http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/17/witches-cant-fly-brooms-above-150-meters-swaziland/ '''Swaziland outlaws witches from flying on broomsticks at altitudes higher than 150 meters'''] (Archived: {{archive|pt0QK|1}} {{wayback|http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/17/witches-cant-fly-brooms-above-150-meters-swaziland/|title=2}})
***{{archive|XGpyz|Still, it's not quite as bad as the time before that}} ({{wayback|https://www.naija.ng/62568.html|title=2}})
* [http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3195-chaos-reigns-as-a-kuwadzana-woman-allegedly-gives-birth-to-a-chicken-head.html '''"Goblin danger" warning after Kuwadzana woman gives birth to chicken head'''] (Archived: {{archive|dqkdY|1}} {{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3195-chaos-reigns-as-a-kuwadzana-woman-allegedly-gives-birth-to-a-chicken-head.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|IYdVg|Cows "buried alive" in stadiums to ensure soccer team success}} ({{wayback|https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/060630-soccer-magic.html|title=2}})
* [http://www.africanopinion.com/witches-wizards-control-nigerias-white-house/ '''Wizards control Nigerian president's villa, turn women into "merchants of dildo"'''] (Archived: {{archive|TzDZQ|1}} {{wayback|http://www.africanopinion.com/witches-wizards-control-nigerias-white-house/|title=2}})
*{{archive|ajK68|Mombassa man's mystery death linked to sinister horse-legged woman sighting}} ({{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/mombasa-man-meets-woman-horse-legs/|title=2}})
*{{archive|FV1rU|Soldiers prevent lynching of man suspected of using magic to steal boy's penis while shaking hands}} ({{wayback|http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/odd/657003-drama-as-16-year-old-boy-%E2%80%98loses-manhood%E2%80%99-after-shaking-hands-with-stranger.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.legit.ng/1112211-woman-allegedly-delivers-catfish-16-months-pregnancy-video.html#1112211 '''South African negress gives birth to catfish following 16-month pregnancy''' (PHOTOS!)] (Archived: {{archive|3W4Ir|1}} {{wayback|https://gossip.naija.ng/1112211-woman-allegedly-delivers-catfish-16-months-pregnancy-video.html#1112211|title=2}})
*[https://newsghana.com.gh/farmer-kills-woman-over-mushroom/ '''Murder "motivated by mushroom"'''] (Archived: {{archive|ajGzE|1}} {{wayback|https://www.newsghana.com.gh/farmer-kills-woman-over-mushroom/|title=2}})
*{{archive|WdXA8|Eight-week-old baby grows into man in 30 seconds, issues garlic-related threat, escapes into jungle}} ({{wayback|https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/2-month-old-baby-turns-into-full-grown-man/|title=2}})
*[https://southafricatoday.net/south-africa-news/a-township-mob-burns-talking-monkey-as-witch/ '''"Talking monkey" burned to death by mob'''] (Archived: {{archive|szlw7|1}} {{wayback|https://southafricatoday.net/south-africa-news/a-township-mob-burns-talking-monkey-as-witch/|title=2}})
*{{archive|S6j6U|Cat eaten after being crucified for witchcraft in Liberia}} ({{wayback|https://www.liberianobserver.com/news/women-the-witchcraft-cat/|title=2}})
*{{archive|S1INk|Malawi villagers pay magical pedo to fuck 104 of their 12-year-old daughters for three days each}} ({{wayback|https://buzzkenya.com/man-hired-sex-children-malawian-hyena/|title=2}})
*{{archive|q12dQ|Teachers' testicles "molested by goblins"}} ({{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3136-goblins-at-chegato-primary-school-now-molesting-male-teachers.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/news/pupil-dies-during-mass-hysteria-outbreak-7793519 '''School evacuated after pupil dies of hysteria'''] (Archived: {{archive|TKXDX|1}} {{wayback|https://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/news/pupil-dies-during-mass-hysteria-outbreak-7793519|title=2}})
**[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3588562/ '''Satanism, popular jokes, evil spirits, UFOs "cause of most hysteria outbreaks" in African schools'''] (Archived: {{archive|7dnu4|1}} {{wayback|https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3588562/|title=2}})
*{{wayback|http://www.yaleph.com/archive/vol1no1/reg_focus.html|20060519084631|title=No end in sight for Sudan's deadly nodding epidemic}} {{archive|MRwkl}}
*{{archive|FjdVr|Zimbabwean man "starts menstruating after juju curse for marital infidelity}} ({{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3196-chitungwiza-man-belwildered-as-he-continues-to-mensurate-every-month.html|title=2}})
*[https://www.africanews.com/2017/08/01/tanzania-witch-killings-claimed-479-lives-from-january-june-2017-report// '''Average of 80 suspected witches murdered per month in Tanzania'''] (Archived: {{archive|963hB|1}} {{wayback|http://www.africanews.com/2017/08/01/tanzania-witch-killings-claimed-479-lives-from-january-june-2017-report//|title=2}})
*{{archive|sVLAK|South Africa's nigger junkies now smoking "joints" that contain stolen cremation ashes}} ({{wayback|https://buzzsouthafrica.com/sa-addicts-smoke-human-ashes-nyaope/|title=2}})
*[https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/17/witches-cant-fly-brooms-above-150-meters-swaziland/ '''Swaziland outlaws witches from flying on broomsticks at altitudes higher than 150 meters'''] (Archived: {{archive|pt0QK|1}} {{wayback|http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/17/witches-cant-fly-brooms-above-150-meters-swaziland/|title=2}})
*{{archive|dqkdY|"Goblin danger" warning after Kuwadzana woman gives birth to chicken head}} ({{wayback|http://zimbabwenewsonline.com/index.php/strange_news/3195-chaos-reigns-as-a-kuwadzana-woman-allegedly-gives-birth-to-a-chicken-head.html|title=2}})
*{{archive|TzDZQ|Wizards control Nigerian president's villa, turn women into "merchants of dildo"}} ({{wayback|http://www.africanopinion.com/witches-wizards-control-nigerias-white-house/|title=2}})
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[[File:Mumba donate school whip.jpg|center]]
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[[Category:Locations]][[Category:Racial Tolerance]][[Category:Truth]][[Category:Lulz History]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Racial Tolerance]]
[[Category:Truth]]
[[Category:Lulz History]]

Latest revision as of 17:40, 14 August 2024

You may be looking for AIDS. Nope, this is the right article. Definitely.


Offended?

If you have been offended by "Africa",
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.


Technically, it is also a space of spades

Ever driven through the Ghetto? Now imagine a ghetto the size of an entire fucking continent and you'll begin to understand the IRL edition of Planet of the Apes. Africa (also known as "Blackistan", "Africoon", "Assfrica", "Niggerland", "Lolfrica", "Africunt", "Aidsfrica", "Gayfrica", "Rapefrica" or "Hell") is a wretched hive of scum and villainy further south than Europe and much darker, almost completely uninhabitable where (with the exception of Egypt) Civilization has never progressed beyond primitive Stone-Age tribal shit-throwing. Africa is made mostly of dirt, AIDS, diseases, Apes, Rapes, Apes that rape, Rape of apes, Poisonous oversized grapes, Biohazard warning tape, and Homicidal dudes who escape.

It is generally accepted that the only white people found in Africa are intelligent, kind Europeans who give kittens and free textbooks to black families on a regular basis. The lunatic Africans kill them in return for their kindness. Proof.

History

Moar info: Afrocentrism.

The entire continent has never progressed at all due to the fact that it is uninhabited by actual Humans, only by niggers whose evolution never progressed beyond that of the monkey. Despite the fact that you can strike precious minerals such as diamond and Uranium anywhere you dig, the indigenous animals are to retarded to be able to comprehend Human technology and government systems, instead eating each other and/or raping chimpanzees (this is where HIV originated from). There has never been a day in African history where somebody isn't starving or war isn't going on, or anything less than 100 children have been pwned. The only way to keep up with this high death rate is by making babies as fast as possible, raping even more people and therefore spreading AIDS. Despite the whole world pouring money into it, they still can't figure how to stop raping and eating each other. And they are so stupid that instead of moving, they'd rather walk three miles every day for water.

African Civilization

Moar info: WE WUZ KANGZ.

Darwin tells like it is

African Civilization is an oxymoron made up by liberal autists that have nothing better to do but wallow in nigger's shit and AIDS. African civilization is a myth made up by the American government to make niggers think that their 'friends' in Africa (That actually hate American niggers, because they are the descendants of the slave class in Africa) are smart (they are not). If you 'learn' about African civilization in history class, call your teacher out on his bullshit and say "African civilization is an oxymoron" and proceed to An Hero the entire class and yourself.

Economy

Moar info: Welfare.

There are two wonderful jobs you can get in Africa. One is spreading AIDS, and the second is becoming a child soldier. People serving in both occupations are on average about two years old. Morons like Bono made Amerikkka give a lot of money to Africa, but it's just as shit as it's ever been. The odd celebrity will also deposit a few thousand bucks to the continent to get rid of that extra money lying around while keeping up their image to appear as though they genuinely care. Billions has been put towards the ongoing poverty over the years, yet it's still a shithole, even when basic education for farming has been introduced.

Healthcare

Moar info: Death.

A traditional African cure. Dead

Feeling unwell? You have AIDS. But never mind, just pop along to your local witch doctor, because niggers are too dumb to build a decent medical center. They've got enough bizarre and wonderfully useless concoctions that'll most likely put you out of your misery rather than heal you of it. Tastes funny? Stop bitching! Because you know what they say, if it tastes bad it's good for you!

Frequent appointments to the Voodoo Hut may also involve having your daughter's clitoris cut off with a blunt rock. Remember girls, only men in Africa are privileged to the joy of sexual pleasure!

Negromancy

Moar info: Witchcraft.

Africa is a place where black magic genuinely happens. It is hard for western observers to perceive the subtle ways in which magic works, but the savage is more in tune with nature's mysteries and this explains why IRL examples of witchcraft, conjuring, lycanthropy, and similar ju-ju events tend to look completely fucking stupid when filmed.

Here are some examples. Warning, do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition.


The self-driving car - another nigger invention stolen by whitey
This tree is bewitched
Compelling evidence of lycanthropy
A magician's curse has closed this woman's punani
This witch crashed while flying above a hut


African Culture


This is Africa
The National Anthem of Africa
Movies in Africa
Laws on Homosexuality
Like indians,africans cant poo in the loo


Tourism

Moar info: Justine Sacco.


There are thousands of reasons why the holidaymaker should go to Africa. Millions. We're not going to list them all because it would take too long. But you can look forward to:

  1. Unspoiled natural beauty.
  2. Incredible wildlife.
  3. Exotic cuisine.
  4. Friendly natives.

Whatever your reason for visiting Africa, we can guarantee you that you will find it difficult to leave.


National Pastimes

Some blacks participate in the human race
Oh snap!
Bitches gonna get raped!

Africa is a simple land of simple pleasures. These pleasures consist of eating shit you find on the ground, AIDS, rape, and rape with AIDS.

In Africa, they will eat ANYTHING. See that monkey? It's food. Oh look, a pile of cow shit! Food! If it tries to run away, the Africans will hurl spears and rocks at it until it stops moving. Some African tribes evolved the habit of kicking things to death instead. Thus, African soccer was born.

Whatever can not be eaten will be fucked. AIDS supposedly came from some bored African fucking a green monkey. Why anyone would fuck a creature that has obviously gone rotten is beyond the understanding of most civilized countries, but this is Africa - deal with it! And what is fucking when one party isn't into it? RAEP!

Africans use rape for everything - Seriously! Rape is used to cure faggots, get wimmin back into the kitchen, show how manly you are, pass the time, proper disposal for rancid monkey carcasses, and more! In fact, tribal medicine even says that raep cures AIDS. However, retards in Africa don't know that it won't work, ensuring much lulz to be spread around the continent.

Little do many know, but there is indeed a vaccine created for the AIDS virus. Too bad nobody in Africa can afford it. There are too many faggots in the Western world loaded with money to even care, dat's why they got the AIDS. Major butthurt and SLAVE pwnage.


Wild niglets perform their war-dance
A tribe that hasn't discovered fucking fire yet
African rave
Africans who have never met white people before
Moar African rave


Politics

Corruption

If there's one aspect of modernity that the stinking cess-pit of Africa has embraced, it's corrupt military dictatorships. Present-day Africa is mainly notable for the number of Nigglers that it has produced, some of whom are so spectacularly mad and vicious that they make Saddam Hussein look like a jolly decent chap and a bit of a shrinking violet. None of Africa's tyrants has ever been overthrown by the USA, but that might be because America knows from first-hand experience that freeing niggers just isn't worth the trouble in the long run. Here is a slideshow of some of the dark continent's top-rated tyrants.


Censorship



The Dark Internet Continent

Surprisingly, the internet is not censored anywhere in Africa. Not-so-surprisingly, this is because only 12% of Africans have any internet access. That minority consists of people who live within a day's travel of the new-fangled "internet cafés" and can afford to spend a whole week's income just to waste 30 minutes waiting for a single .gif animation to download. (Did we mention that only 1% of Africans has access to broadband?)

At present, internet usage is so rare that in (e.g.) Burkino Faso, a regulatory body called "the Superior Council of Communication" can effectively monitor the entire online population to ensure compliance with local law.

In May 2012 the Council issued a formal warning to a site after a user insulted the nation's President during a forum debate, forcing the site's owners to publish an apology and undertake to prevent any further misconduct.

The whole continent of Africa currently has fewer phone lines than New York City but this may change in the future. If it does, expect the phenomenon of "Eternal September" to be replaced by "Eternal Kwanzaa," in which a large amount of online activity will consist of niggers trying to put curses on their enemies by sending them the "I Love You" virus. It is furthermore estimated that by the year 3000 the entire GDP of Nigeria will be derived from 419 scams. But more optimistic forecasts estimate that most of Africa will have died of AIDS before this can happen.

African TV

Incredibly, television has been accepted by the people of Africa, without TV salesmen being hacked to death by villagers. Since the entire continent is essentially medieval but with electricity, it is believed that Africans regard TV as a form of crystal ball, which reveals faraway wonders when it is gazed upon. And it does indeed produce wonders, if you are from a civilized country you will scarcely believe your eyes at the content produced for African audiences.


A hard-hitting Kenyan TV News investigation that makes several unexpected detours
November 17, 1993 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."(You can tell he means business when he promises to eliminate 419)
Troublesome mermaids are dealt with firmly in Nigeria. Full-length original here
January 29, 1986 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
Zimbabwe's most popular soap - a gritty depiction of real life (i.e., bike theft, mud huts, and witches)
November 14, 2017 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
A well-edited episode of Ghana's favorite drama series climaxes in a gruelling fight (May or not be in English, can't really tell for sure)
A typical TV advertising campaign, based on everyday African life


Europe and Africa

Europe's relationship with Africa is something like this.

Just as the first European settlers came to America, conquered the Moors and the Indians (feather, not dot), and then enslaved Africans and robbed them of all their resources, white Americans of today will continue to keep black people as pets in cages, ghettos, and BET where, as far as the country clubs are concerned, they belong.

These retarded apes still haven't done anything to improve this country, well, with few exceptions, but those people were exceptions because their ancestors were raped by white people. All those negro preachers in the NAACP (Niggers Appreciating A Chunky Pussy) might as well take a rope and hang their own damn selves. These theories are dominant, because no black person could receive enough of an education to disprove those racist beliefs except for Martin Luther King Jr.

Foreign AIDS

Lately, a lot of whining liberals have been protesting to introduce foreign strains of the AIDS virus into the African population. Little do they know that the AIDS is an American secret weapon to destroy the dark skins and the homosexuals, mostly for Africa and their overpopulated shit holes.

Often, people will hold benefit concerts and other gay shit in the name of foreign AIDS. However, the bleeding hearts don't know this usually goes to the Jew bankers in New York instead of the fucktards in Africa. Jew bankers with foreign AIDS - HA! Serves them right.

300 Africans

Contrary to the faggot Spartans, the African 300 leader had much more trouble inspiring his troops. Simply think of him saying "Africans! Tonight, we dine in...oh wait, we don't have any food." Therefore, their end would have not been caused by a retard that looked strangely similar to that ugly bitch, but by the mere lack of cheeseburgers in their McDonald's and by failing at purification through the fucking of one-year-olds.

Gallery


BzzzzzBzzzzzzBzzzz.... About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See also

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External links

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Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUGrand Theft Auto: San AndreasHypebeastJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPolice AbolitionPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatStreet takeoverSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWill Smith slaps Chris RockWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)Vintage Black Americana

Present

ADOSAIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaISWAPKwanzaaNAACPP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznBuck BreakersCopsChimpmaniaDon ImusDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManGraykatIlluminatiJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKu Klux KlanKramerMoonmanPayton GendronPopobawaPermit PattyRacismRay TensingRyan PalmeterShitskin PlantationSpicsStormfrontThe BLM KillerTotal Nigger DeathWWhite people

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