Moldova
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Moldova is that droopy, moldy, ugly looking piece of water-challenged country next to Romania. They claim they speak "Moldovan", but that really is just Romanian with a few spelling differences, so it's just a dialect. Moldova is pretty butthurt because it is the poorest country in Europe, though Kosovo is working to claim the title. Warning:Butthurt Moldovanians will claim that Moldova existed since the middle ages. This is a illogical argument made of stupidity and fail seeing as they are reffering to Moldavia which is something entirely different.
History
They could have had a piece of the Black Sea action but the Ukrainians owned them and they got denied a port city. Romania got to own Moldova during World War II, resulting in an influx of Transylvanian vampires. Stalin and the USSR took Moldova after the war because Stalin wanted to use the vampires to spread communism and to harass people in gulags. Incidentally, this was the height of Moldovan prosperity and proved the only thing Moldovans are good at is serving either Russians or Romanians
Moldova is the only country no one has ever heard of.
other "achievements" include:
- Poorest country in east Asia.
- Drunkest country in the world.
- And the truly epic lulz of the "Kishinev riots" in 1917 when they pawnd a bunch of jews.
Economy
Moldova exports shitty wine, tobacco, and gypsum, the world's most racist mineral. They also export misery in the form of child slaves and a miasma of discontent that is vividly encountered by proponents Western Democracy. They are probably better-known for contributing to worldwide memery by exporting the Numa numa song.
Their music industry is slowly but surely taking off. Here is Moldova's number one pop star Sasha Bognibov and his hit single, "I Love The Girls Of Thirteen Years Old"
Famous Moldovans
- O-Zone, the faggy band that sang the Numa Numa song.
- Sergey Stepanov
that's about it.
Jokes
While Moldova isn't know for its humor, the people of the country are often the butt of various jokes from their neighbors...
For example; A father and child are in a muesuem discussing the theory of evolution when the child asks if Moldovians evolved from apes. The father reminds the child that apes evolved from Moldovians.
Haters
- Russians and Ukrainians (same thing)
They have a troop presence on the Moldovan border. Vampire conspiracy? I think so. Technically its been its own country for 15 years but Moldovans still don't know how to count.
- Italians
I'd link to articles about it, but most of them are in dago, so here is a brief summary. Italians hate the fact that Moldovans keep trying to move to Italy and make it all ghetto. Italians believe that all Moldovan immigrants are criminals or prostitutes or welfare bums, but the kosovars are better at it.
An Italian-Moldovan shit band called Haiducii actually ripped off the Numa numa song and tried to pass it off as their own. This demonstrates that despite Italian beliefs that Moldovans are degenerates, they actually have a lot in common with Italians.
Trolling your mom
Moldova only came into existence in 1994, which is way past your bedtime. It was once part of the Principality of Moldovia, which stopped existing in 1850-something and was then integrated along with Wallachia in the newly formed Romania.
Since Moldavia didn't exist in the 1980s, the writers of oldfag soap opera Dynasty had a storyline in which some rich wench from the main family of characters got married to "Prince Michael of Moldavia". Or rather, they were going to get married and then this happened:
This was a big deal in the 80s and one of the TV "moments" of the decade. But now you can point your mom to this article as proof that Moldavia is a real place and therefore the Dynasty wedding-day massacre was REAL.
