Norway
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This country need a serious clean up. Somebody should do something about it. |
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BREAKING NEWS!! NORWAY just deported 824 muslims!!!11 Crime rate dropped 30% !!!1111 NORWAY? NO WAY!!!111 |
—Norwegian politician after being assraped by a Somali invader who was then deported. | ||
- See also Black Metal
Norway, Sweden's North Korea or The west coast of Sweden is a dislocated, barren ice volcano in the middle of the arctic off the coast of Europe, to the east of the failed state of Iceland, Norway's former viking age colony (which should tell of something). It is inhabited by the descendants of Vikings who were famous for raping and killing the French and the English. There are not many countries where people do nothing but drink themselves to death and beat each other up (including their family), but Norway is one of those proud few. Norwegians are more commonly known as Fjord Niggers and popular for giving fanboys the Black Metal. Norway is also known for the single greatest killstreak in the world, conducted by Anders Fogh Rasmussen Behring Breivik.
Norwegian History
The first Scandinavians, vikings, inhabited Norway, Sweden and Denmark ca. 9001 years ago. They eventually became masters of advanced technologies such as bonfires and fishing. But as the climate in Norway is about as warm as the south pole, every attempt to become more civilized failed. So, the bold Vikings raided places like England and France for the loot. From then until the present (about 700 years), nothing interesting has happened in Norway. Today, Norway is a thriving country with great cultural diversity. As they have a load of stolen Jew gold and enjoy stealing other nations' fish, Norway managed to stay out of the European Union, which frowns on both.
Poetry Inspired by Norway
Norwegian Sexuality
Like all Scandinavian blonde, blue-eyed countries, Norway is a matriarchal society. Females there show great support for their daughters to the point of incest, as is the Viking tradition. The Lesbianism of Norwegian females explains why rape is almost completely legal. If you are a pedophile you can find for yourself some nice young pussy to care for, posing as a pediatrician.
Sports in Norway
Since constantly murdering and raping neighbors (in the distant past), one another (in winter months), or immigrants (nowadays) requires agility and strength, Norwegians have become highly adept at sports. Today, they excel at various disciplines, including:
- Ice Hockey: practiced and particularly beloved by Norwegian men.
- Archery: see above.
- Arson: burning down churches is a traditional pastime of younger Norwegians.
- Boobsleigh: local name for the sport known as "rape" abroad.
- Ski Humping: mobile, more challenging version of the above.
- Jewlin throw: tossing a Jew aside, usually preceded or followed by the liberation of Jew gold.
- Judo: punching and kicking Jews, legal in Norway and encouraged by the state.
- Dieathlon: Popular Norwegian game played only with foreigners.
- Short and Long Distance Running: only practiced by women folk, typically in dark places, with one or more men present; usually ends in boobsleigh above.
Fun Facts About Norway
- In Norway, only 1 out of 12 convicted rapists are sent to jail.
- Norway used to have a paragraph in its Constitution excluding Jews from the country. This suggests that Norwegians were once intelligent. Then a progressive liberal named Henrik Wergeland came along and tricked people into feeling sorry for them. (Although there are Jews in Norway, they amount to only 803 individuals, which means Norway will be completely Jew-free in about 5 minutes of Holocaust.)
- Norway was originally a floating arsenal of virgins created by the Nazis during World War II to spite Churchill. To spite the French, it was later crashed into Northern Europe, where it remains.
- Norway has the world's largest population of black metal fans, who enjoy discussing Hitler, burning down churches, and eating their friends' brains [2].
- Norway was home to a very rare parrot, the Norwegian Blue, which is now extinct. The last one died on the set of an English TV comedy series in the 1970's, apparently pining for the fjords.
- In the city of Tromsø, located in the northern region of Norway, 95% of all buildings are built from fish bones and whale baculums.
- EFnet has the largest concentration of exile Norwegians, though most of them are actually Russians with a bad sense of direction.
- Norway is constantly pwned by a superior country known as Skyrim.
- About 20% of Oslo's inhabitants are drug-addicted, homeless beggars or professional thieves. This behavior is perfectly legal in Norway, because the police aren't allowed to stop criminals. Law enforcement is frowned-upon, because it is considered "rude" to uphold the law unless it's tax related.
- Racism is actually a sport in Norway. Brummundal city is what one could call "Norway's racism-capital". They have won the Golden Noose trophy many years in a row.
- Income tax in Norway is 50%, a pint of beer costs 15 dollars, and a pack of smokes costs 20 dollars. There's a 25% VAT on all products in addition to other taxes. Most citizens are too poor to afford meat or fresh vegetables, and sustain themselves on rationed bread and goat milk cheese; only confused japanese tourists or old germans travel there.
- It is also illegal to smoke in Norway, but legal to purchase tobacco, and since Norwegians are
dumbrich, they still spend half their wages buying cigarettes, and wallowing in pity every time they want to light one, about 10-30 times a day. They then throw them away and buy a new pack to stimulate the economy. Intelligent Norwegians therefore use snus instead. - Norway's Internet domain is "NO", which explains their massive tourism industry. Every week, Norway is not visited by over 9000 visitors.
- With the exception of South Africans, Norwegians are known as the most tolerant people on the Earth. They are friendly towards immigrants and warmly welcome people of any nationality. Black people are particularly popular in Norway and are expected to form its next government. Right now there are more Norwegians living in North Dakota than in the entire country of Norway.
- There are two indigenous tribes in Norway, the Sami and the "Kvæns" (also called "Kvens"). In reality, they're not indigenous, they're just itinerant trailer-trash from Finland who want to feel special.
- In order to prevent the local temperatures from dropping to otherwise impossible levels, Norway continuously absorbs 99.9% of the heat from Hell in a mutual symbiosis keeping Hell from getting hotter than Arizona, although nitrogen in gas form is still not possible in Norway.
- Traitors to race, culture, and religion (native and non-native)
- If you Google "Dildo" in Google Trends, Norway has the most traffic.
- Unlike Swedes, Norwegians haven't invented a fucking thing throughout their entire fucking history. [3]
Norwegian Television
The Norwegian Way Of Life
Norway's Criminal Justice System
GOD HELP YOU IF YOU COMMIT A CRIME IN NORWAY!
Norwegian music
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Famous Norwegians
- Varg Vikernes: An Norwegian hero (not yet).
- Espen Askeladd, a young boy famous for pwning over 9000 trolls at least 100 years ago.
- Erik the Red, a Viking who was exiled from Norway for killing several people for the lulz and went on to discover several useless bits of land(Greenland).
- Roald Dahl, an overrated children's author and anti-Semitic misogynist.
- Leiv Eiriksson, went in his father's footsteps and discovered moar useless bits of land.
- Various other Vikings, known for their improvements in the highly demanding industry of rape and pillage.
- Vidkun Quisling: A pretty cool guy.
- Anders Behring Breivik:
TerroristJusticiar Knight Commander, responsible for the bomb blasts in Oslo and pwning 90+ young commies during one of their orgies. - Liv Ullmann, feminazi and a former actress in Bergman's movies (now a director). However, known only for having a severe case of vaginae gingeritis.
There have been no other famous Norwegians and there never will be.
Gallery of Norway
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Flag of Norway in the Golden Age (9 April 1940 - 8 May 1945) -
Flag of Norway when the country reaches true freedom -
Typical norweigan -
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Typical Oslo folks. -
View of the business district in downtown Oslo, Norway's capital. -
1987 brought the worst natural disaster in Norway's history: an unnaturally warm summer. -
Typical Norwegian weather. -
Hot Norwegian girl -
Speeding is taken very seriously in Norway -
Norway's Clinton; Thorbjørn Jagland.
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Anders Behring Breivik tried to rouse Norway before it goes down in a Multicultural Nightmare -
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The Greatest Norwegian to ever live -
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Actual Norwegian meal. Enjoy the finest accomplishments of Scandinavia. (Not shown: the anus of the sheep, traditionally served for dessert as delicious cake). -
See Also
- Alexander Rybak
- Anders Behring Breivik
- Black Metal
- Denmark
- Europe
- Finland
- Iceland
- Immortal
- Lano Ungen
- Legion of Noway
- Norwegian
- Sweden
