Kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan is a small country in the middle of nowhere in Asia that most people cannot even fathom the correct way to pronounce it. Its the most eastern of all the countries that end with -stan that the rest of the word never hears about as nothing important ever comes from there except civil disobedience. It is a peaceful nation that allows America to use its airbase as a refueling station so Americans can drop democracy on the rest of the region. This is the only reason why the American Government cares about this country and will do anything to protect it from various evildoers.

Flag of Kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan is the new hotspot for irl drama of the most interesting kind: revolution. Usually you only see this kind of stuff in movies and hear about it in music as the last time any interesting revolution happened in 1979. Usually these sorts of things are hushed up by the media because it doesn't look good to see footage of riot police and soldiers being raped and beaten by Muslim Mongoloids armed with sticks. If a Muslim Mongoloids can do it, why can't white people with armor piercing rounds do it?

What the fuck is Kyrgyzstan?

Kyrgyzstan is some small ex-Soviet country filled with Mongols who practice Islam. Some argue they are the only civilized practitioners of Islam currently, this is a ridiculous notion as no one who practices Islam is civilized. They are basically Mongols who started practicing Islam and settled down instead of doing what they do best.

Kyrgyzstan was ruined after the collapse of the USSR and had to revert back to an physiocracy structured economy as the soviet union bought 98% of their exports. You can imagine what happened to their country after the Russians refused to buy their shitty products.

Kyrgyzstan's new and promising area of economic promise is metallurgy, it is very possible they can exploit this natural richness of their country to make their country less shitty. Their country is rich in coal, gold, uranium, antimony, among other things. Their country is so rich in hydroelectric energy they actually export their surplus power.

See that big chunk out of Kyrgyzstan's western edge? That's usable farmland (a river floodplain?) pwnt by Uzbekistan. All around it is mountainous shit, and that's what they let Kurgyzstan keep. Go look at it on google earth - it's almost as hilarious as the border between Haiti and the Dominican Republic (hint - one side of the border has no trees).

April 7th Revolution

Kyrgyzstan first had a revolution in some time in 2005 as the government was corrupt and incapable of doing anything. The new government was doing pretty well until late April 6th and early morning on April 7th 2010 decided it would be epic lulz if they arrested all the leaders of the opposition's party at once. What resulted was epic lulz, just not what the government intended. The leaderless political movement decided to do the only rational thing. The rebels took the capital city in less than six hours. In a matter of days, the old president lost control of Kyrgyzstan and had to flee the country.

Public Reaction to the April 7th Revolution

Nothing as the revolution will not be televised.

Current Drama

Apparently the people of Kyrgyzstan cannot handle change when a female president takes over. The most likely reason for the current riots is due to several hundred years of rape and violence suddenly being released on April 7th hasn't been completely drained from its citizens. It should die down soon enough, it's not like rioting Mongols have the stamina to keep going at civil war for more than is reasonable.

Why should anyone give a shit about Kyrgyzstan?

No sensible person should unless they live there. It's not like anyone from there actually reads this site, so their opinions don't matter. So why should we give a shit? Well, Sean Piche used to work there. Also, Kyrgyzstan is right next to the big bad dragon. While this normally is bad enough in and of itself, what makes it worse is that the 80% of the Uyghurs live in China. China's government has a tiny yellow boner for non-Han minorities like the Uyghurs and lets them get away with raep and pillage when they should be treating them like the scum they are. The Uyghurs are the boongs of China and live in government-provided luxury while their Han cousins live in poverty. The current political climate is rife with laws and bigotry against the Han even though they are the only section of the population that actually does anything useful.

Why the Chinese Government does this is unknown. What is known is why the western media doesn't report on the Uyghurs' struggle against evil China: because they already have a boner for another "oppressed country". The Chinese Uyghurs will likely use the confusion and civil war in Kyrgyzstan to escape their Han overlords. No one will notice as they will blend into the native population of Uyghurs in Kyrgyzstan, and it's not like you can tell any of them apart anyway. In time the Uyghurs still stuck in Kyrgyzstan will develop massive butthurt and begin launching separatist attacks against China (implying they don't already [implying it won't get worse]). The Chinese government does not put up with bullshit and will mow those dirty sandniggers down, then laugh all the way back to Beijing. This will result in moar Uyghur butthurt as they cry about oppression when they are not allowed to raep and pillage the Han people at will.

But even if it was reported by Glenn Beck, its not like you would care you ignorant fuck.

See Also

• China
• East Turkestan
• Kazakhstan
• Riots
• Russia
• Tajikistan