Taiwan
The 56th state of the Union, preceded by Puerto Rico, Haiti, and 4chan island. Taiwan stands as proof that all Asians just want the white man to sperm all over them and their culture. It is sometimes referred to Diet China, or "The Germany of Asia." Taiwan was a Japanese possession until the conclusion of World War II but was largely spared of buttrape unlike other colonies such as the Gookland for not being full of nutjobs like the latter.
Taiwan is currently undergoing a total sellout by the UNITINU government that will land them square in the lap of the communists in exchange for a handful of fiddle faddle. The North American DONG Party has taken no moves to secure Taiwan's safety in this matter, instead choosing to masturbate wildly to Rule 34 on Chairman Mao donkey punching Chen Shui-bian, whilst drinking deep of their highest vintage pruno. Almost all Taiwanese are Chinks descended from Chinese settlers who made their homes on the island, but call them Chinese and you'll never hear the end of how they're so totally not Chinese.
Blaming China is the sport and national pastime of Taiwan.
Geography
Taiwan, in essence, looks like a thick uncircumcised dong.
Plane Crush
News
The Taiwanese have some amazing, unbiased news reporting done with new, three dimensional technology. The newscasts speak for themselves.
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Democracy and China
You may have heard on the news that Taiwan (ie: the people in charge of Taiwan - there is no such person as "Taiwan" and it helps to keep that in mind) wants to be a free and independent democracy separate from China.
This is a lie. Taiwan recognises itself as Chinese . Like most people on earth who aren't white and pussywhipped, they are comfortable with the idea that race is actually a thing. It's just that the people in charge of Taiwan feel that their China is - like - the real China and that therefore they should be in charge of all of it.
Simply: the Taiwanese government would like the west to conquer the rest of China for them. Unfortunately, the west is busy with other things right now.
People
Taiwanese are really emo azns.
They are numerous, and regularly threaten the Chinese homeland through displays of brightly-colored plumage.
Climate
Think of Miami, but with an even greater chance of dying in a hurricane.
Due to the state of the sewer systems, one can get a bitchin' jenkem high just by taking a casual stroll around town, especially in the south. Be sure to hit the streets right after a thunderstorm. The acid rain runoff combined with the stagnant humidity makes for a killer chocolate speedball.
Government
Filled with filthy right wing extremists, and capitalist roaders eager to make a quick buck and greedy and all mighty hell. They're also quick to sell out to Americans who are using them as a puppet against the PRC. Who were content to make peace with the natives and invent new and terrible forms of cuisine, such as boiled pig artery. But at least 100 years ago, their liberals convinced the country to sell themselves to UNITINU.
Military
Consists of a hacked factory-reject iPod wired up to a Pringles cantenna, built by Taiwan's genius Elementary-school children. This iPod is programmed to play 50 Cent on repeat while activating the missile defense system. Taiwan used their ancient and mystical witchcraft, known as Feng Shui, to determine where their missile defense systems would be placed, ensuring the existence of massive holes for China to fire its lazer right through. Interestingly enough, most of China's missiles aimed at Taiwan are fake in the first place. Think of two gaiafags shitposting about circumcision on 4chan and you'll get the sense for how stupid the whole situation is.
Stupid weeaboo argue about this shit all the time at the Japan Today forums. Also, on an extremely boring day, the Libertarian unibomber rejects on 4chan's /k/ board may touch on this subject.
Economy
Taiwan has been like a wannabe Japan since the 1980's. Unfortunately they aren't as fucked up in the head as the Japanese so good luck. They still sell a reasonable amount of shit that no one needs in America though. Imported labor from countries nobody cares about is popular. Japanophiles run their 7-11 stores. You can buy VCDs there.
Teaching In Taiwan
Every year, over 9000 Americunts, Canucks, and pedos from South Africa come to sunny Taiwan to get drunk, hit on slant-eyed 16 year old girls and molest children. On any given city block, there's around five or six schools that will pay you 700NTD ($22 American dollars) per hour to teach their kids, which these college dropouts all end up throwing away on hookers and blow every weekend. People like Lord Rick move there for months at a time to make easy cash and dick some loli.
The Taiwanese, being as racist as any other country within a two-hour flight of the place, want exclusively white teachers to sit in class and pretend they know what they're doing. In fact, the Taiwanese people proudly proclaim "DAMN NIGGA" when hiring. Due to the fact that the Taiwanese are the Jews of East Asia, most of these chikenshit honkies end up getting screwed out of all of their money and resort to sucking AIDS-infected tiny yellow dong or be the bottom in some gay azn pr0n to buy their plane ticket home.
If you plan to go to Taiwan for this purpose, be sure to fly China Airlines.
Tealit.com
Stands for Tramps Eating American Lovestick In Taiwan. Tealit.com contains within the mediocre confines of its server a healthy amount of room for potential trolling. The personals section alone is a lulzy mashup of MySpace photos, muddled Engrish, and horny aspies/Asian fetishists who couldn't get laid in their home country. Since the white man in Taiwan is outnumbered by his Asian counterpart by about a billion to one, Taiwanese girls will leap on anyone with pale skin and an MSN account rather than date one of their greasy fellow countrymen.
If you're poor, bored and lonely some night sitting in your mother's basement, drinking Jolt Cola and sliming the salamander thinking about your dreams of being a comic book artist or video-game designer, feel free to post an ad on their personals with the best internet disease you can muster. If you aren't black or from Florida, you're guaranteed to get about nine responses within a few hours. Tell the gold-digging psycho that you're a wealthy programmer in Los Angeles and that it's love at first sight. These girls are indoctrinated with dreams of marrying a rich Jew from birth, so they'll easily take this choice bait. Chat her up like you're somebody, until she wants you to fly over and get married. Say that you need to see the goods before you're willing to fly over. If you're able to get nude photographs out of the whole deal, a winrar is you. Send a (hypothetical) black friend over by plane and have him meet her there. She may be heard to proclaim "OH RAWD."
Taiwan Doesn't Care About Black People
So, you may be asking, what's all this fuss with Taiwan over t3h nigras? Well, it's known that George W. Bush loves to take trips to Taiwan for the express purpose of getting his harbl smoked while chugging a half-price bottle of XO. During these vacations, he likes to make improvised speeches about the dangerous negro peoples that the New World harbors, and that the reason why these dark-skinned villains are so portrayed in American movies and hip-hop is because these forms of media are a completely accurate portrayal of peoples of African descent. The Taiwanese heeded these words of wisdom by preemptively building concentration camps in their scenic, pristine mountains and wooden stockades on every street corner. This is why the Katrina refugees who were sent to live in Taiwan have never been heard from since.
The only two jobs that blacks can get in Taiwan are DJ or pr0n star, and even then, once they're found by the police, it's straight to the camps.
Links
Some hipster Canuck blabbering about Taiwanese reverse racism
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Taiwan is part of a series on "The Qing of Encyclopedia Dramatica" |
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