United States of Australia

Everything you need to know about Australia

The official Australian Coat Of Arms.

The official Australian Flag. The arse of the world.

LONG LIVE TEH KING OF AUSTRALIA!!11one

The Lucky Country

Typical Australian diplomat.

Typical Australian boy band, watch out BTS you got competition.

The United States of Ausfailia, aka Down Under or the great country full of unpatriotic idiots, is the arrogant, alcoholic, cunt-crunching 51st and fattest state of America which will inevitably cause a nuclear Extinction Level Event (or "ELE") through the pure shit-faced stupidity it is famous for.

Before its discovery by the English at least 100 years ago, Australia, like America, was nothing more than a wasteland of well... nothing, apart from a few tribes of primitive savages called Abos who occupied the land; doing nothing but draw in caves, smear paint on their bodies, engage in cannibalism and shit in bushes for some 40,000 years.

As the world's largest jail (it's spelt gaol, but no one uses britfuckish english), based on an early model that would later become Guantanamo Bay, Australia is comprised entirely of the still imprisoned distant relatives of Britain's worst criminals (tax dodging sheep fuckers) and other detritus (Aspies) and a haven for aspiring international terrorists. Occasionally a feisty young Osama fanboy such as David Hicks will go rogue and spend a few years in Gitmo, but that's OK because these noble heroes will always be welcomed home with open arms. As a result of Australia's history as a penal colony, Australia and it's citizens self aggrandizingly pride themselves and get their rocks off on being the most annoying country and species on the face of the planet.

Until the mid-20th century the country of Australia wasn't really important as nothing or nobody particularly interesting came from it. It wasn't until some time during the 1960s or so when a group of generous American soldiers, while stationed somewhere in Sydney during 'Nam, began pulling Australia out of the Dark Ages by introducing the Aussie population to some cool shit like heroin and cocaine. This kind gesture by one of Australia's most trusted and beloved allies has never been forgotten as massive heroin, crack and coke epidemics would progressively spread like a disease to several parts of the country for many years to come.

Unlike other previously invaded countries, Australians genuinely have weapons of mass destruction and control almost half the worlds Uranium which they will give to the highest bidder, no matter who they may be. If it doesn't make you vomit blood in horror that such incompetent drunks could destroy the world in an instant, the fact that they sell weapons of mass destruction to obvious terrorists is the most horrifying act of terrorism since 11/9. Nevar furget.

Multiculturalism

The official Australian immigration policy.

Asstralians take great pride in their cultural diversity through such large gatherings as "The Sydney Race Riots" and legislation such as "The White Australia Policy", which luminously highlight the country's warm fuzzy feelings for coloured people. It was not long ago that famed racism ambassador Pauline Hanson, a.k.a. Hitler.au, was a serious political contender, until she was sent to prison for political incorrectness. She subsequently returned to reach the finals on Dancing With the Stars, even though she couldn't dance for shit, proving that she was in fact more popular than VB and meat pies.

Australia has also done a wonderful job at turning the aborigines into a bunch of pathetic whingbuckets who turn everything to shit when they touch it.

Despite apparent opposition to Pauline Hanson, in all other cases racist politicians are rewarded for dealing with the abos and other coloured folk by whichever means necessary. This includes claiming that innocent refugees who very nearly died coming to Australia in a leaky boat to give their children a better life tried to kill their children for some reason. In fact, to roman shower this bullshit just before an election will guarantee you win.

1,2,3,4 I declare a race war!

A man can dream.

Moreover, even whitie is not exempt from discrimination via these drunkards. It is virtually impossible to obtain a residence permit unless you knock up some Australian whore or are willing to sleep with a fat white middle aged or elderly man for at least 12 months - this is the preferred entry mode for lots of our little south east Asian sisters. Some Australian States legally recognise gender re-assignments, so lady bois can use the fat horny single old guy as an entry route too as long as they are willing to take the final chop and have at least size C implants. However, this is impossible if you so happen to be one of those in such a case you should be burnt at the stake along with the other witches according to the popular Family First political party.

All aspiring immigrants to Australia must now pass a Citizenship Test which accurately filters out dead economic ballast like Jews, Democrats, and fat bitches. This is achieved by looking for complex underlying knowledge of the national values which not even true Australians would have such as Mateship, The Fair Go, Voluntarism, Egalitarianism and Secularism. Persons who pass the test are given a free Australia: Love it or Piss Off insignia kit, and branded with a Southern Cross tattoo.

Australian "Niggerboy" Soap commercial promoting Race-Mixing to housewives.

Proof of Australia being a nanny state

Being a motorcyclist was recently looking at German Schubert Motorbike Helmets. These excellent helmets, European, and US approved are unobtainable in Australia because they have yet to receive ‘Australian Design Approval’. How big is the army of public servants in Australia approving items already approved by competent authorities, and more to the point how much does this ‘approval’ add to the cost of the item.

I suppose while we are rabbiting on about smoking, alchohol and gambling. Does anybody else really believe that this stupid signing in at clubs, whilst adding thousands and thousands of booklets and stubs to landfill, actually achieves any purpose. Or is just another Government Department justifying its existence. If Alcohol Licensing really wanted to justify their existence how about they take a walk down any main street at 3 am.

Can't quite see why people are getting themselves in a lather about the national broadband network. Would seem to be the catalyst for a paradigm shift in the way they do things. Just think all those offices in all those cities can only do one thing – exchange information. With decent broadband speeds we can all do that from our lounge room. Seems like it would fix the transport problems for a start.

News that, already, European Industrial Companies are sitting on about 10 Billion Euros of carbon credits, and that some major Australian Companies are making a nice little earner by doubling their purchase price of credits when onselling, is a salutory reminder to us all that the credits you give away to day to your solar installer could be worth double tomorrow and that the whole scheme is highly rortable.

It seems the good old ( stay in bed or you might get hurt ) occupational health and safety imbroglio has spawned a thriving industry of private contractors who obviously at great expense with vehicles, flashing lights, hundreds of road cones, slow down signs and other paraphernalia, demand that you start slowing on the highway about a kilometer before a lazy road verge lawnmower machine that is going about its work. In prior years, one sign something like ‘caution road works in progress’ was the norm and to the reasonable person appeared quite satisfactory.

the goverment hides things we all know it, all things cause global warming. How about our planet travelling through the cosmos? How much is caused by what’s on the outside of our atmosphere? What about the sun? Unknown radiation? The point is anything could be causing it and man’s contribution towards warming could be minimal.

Half of the population in the world is in Asia and I bet they will not be paying a carbon tax. China will not stop using coal and they cannot afford not to export the stuff to them. Considering that with 22 million people in Australia they intend changing the worlds habits what a joke. Maybe they should seriously look at their refugee problem when 93% of them being there for five years have not got a job.

	“	In several cities in Australia, taxis have microphones that record the passengers' conversation. I silently showed cab drivers a note which said, Don't speak Cab is bugged followed by the destination address.	„
	—Richard Stallman [1]

Australian Internets

Steven Conroy explains why the tubes were blocked

The Australian government is VERY worried about your safety online. So serious that they are willing to use millions of tax payer dollars advertising the most epic 84 million dollar porno filter the world has ever seen. Unfortunately said filter was quickly proven by a 16 year old boy to be a complete piece of shit. Good work Johnny. You did the country proud.

You too can download this mind easing tool which will 100% protect you from the horrors of the internet from netalert.gov.au. Beforehand however take note that it's at least 100% likely ED is blocked. Fucking kangaroo humpers.

Internet in Australia Nov-09', this kind of speed is only available at a university. Was seeding to about 300 peers, each at less than 5kbps.

In 2007 Ruddkips promised that if elected he would implement a world class "adult content" filter that if installed would monitor all internet traffic in Australia. Sound familiar? Ruddkips also has a degree in Asian Studies and speaks fluent Mandarin Chinese hence one can only deduce that Ruddkips is a filthy communist and must be purged before he can start setting up gulags.

By 2010, Australia's filtering scheme has been attacked by Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, the United States, and even moralfags. Not one to back down from a challenge, the Ausfailian gubmint announced plans to force ISPs to log every website Australians visit, along with all email traffic in Australia. When asked "what the fuck are you doing you horrible cunt?", Internet Villain of the Year Steven Conroy explained that, besides wanting to secure his party's defeat at the next election, the plan was mainly for security reasons: "Look... there is a staggering number of Australians... being in having their... computers INFECTED at the moment. Up to 20 THOUSAND... uhhhh... can... regularly be getting infected by these... uhhh... spams, or scams, that come through, the portal". ~ sauce Fortunately, because these people have no idea how the internet works, they missed the fact it will only record data based around Australian services, meaning that 90% of data they want logged will be missed. Most of the remaining 10% will also be missed due to Australian's simply avoiding the scheme via a VPN.

The Great eBarrier Reef of Australia

Can u halp?

In the style of his close friends in China, Ruddkipz plans to censor the internet in Australia despite everyone in the fucking world opposing the idea. The shitty idea will slow down Australia's already pathetic internets by an average of 30% and block all content not suitable for children. Say goodbye to internet porn and the *chans Australia, and possibly Encyclopedia Dramatica. Moar info here.

Of course if you are not retarded, you can probably figure out a

Despite the rumours to the contrary, Aussies love ED more than any other country.

They are always watching Mate

The list was recently leaked on wikileaks, it bans the ENTIRE encyclopediadramatica.com domain. It also includes several Wikipedia pages: a nonexistent page, A list of "weird pictures" - NSFW, but no CP here, BALEETED!. This proves beyond doubt that all Australian politicians are Fucktarded, probably through all the incest rape.

More recently due to Ausfailia's outcry, Rudkips has decided that it was a stupid idea and has scraped it announcing that it was all just a joke. Feeling raped and betrayed, Ausfags slowly recovered and began to warm to Rudkips once moar, ONLY TO HAVE THEIR COLLECTIVE ARSE IMPALED BY THE NANNY STATE'S PERSONIFIED CAWK!. Turns out the filter is going ahead as planned, and they announced it in late December, too. Merry Christmas you pathetic cunts!

The Aussies even have their own version of Pedobear HOLYSHIT!

Broadband

Internets warrior Kevin Rudd recently pledged in his election pork-barreling campaign to give Australia world class internets (ADSL2+ to be exact FTTP nao, you fucking idiot) in the form of a $43 billion broadband network. This sent the media into a frenzy and caused many to realise just how old the ex-Prime minister John Howard was. This was not helped when little Johnny countered this grandiose plan by creating the epic porno filter which doesn't fucking work.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

V&

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  Australia bans small breasts as child pornography
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  Zombie game "Left 4 Dead 2" banned in Australia
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  Fake Simpsons cartoon is child porn, judge rules

Upon viewing this material, you are now considered a pedophile and potential terror suspect by the Australian government. The Party Van is due to arrive at your house any moment now. Allow me to suggest your next course of action...

	“	This is what happens when you don’t have freedom of expression. Australia has no constitutional right of free speech. I think it’s time for Australians to rise up and murder their bastard politicians, oh wait… you all gave up most of your guns. Enjoy your Orwellian shithole	„
	—Aussie Pride, Worldwide

Law and Order in Australia

Everyday Police Procedures

Australian States and Territories

Australia's capital

• Australian Capital Territory (capital city: Canberra). Politicians live here. All of 'em are fuuuuuucken kents.

• Queensland (capital city: Brisbane). It's like the deep south but tropical. Actually that's an insult to the deep south. At least there you can have an abortion without being thrown in jail for 7 years. Queensland is also famous for its police force, which has enacted many rational and progressive policies such as torching a house "under the suspicion" the residents may have marijuana, and beating people unconscious with batons, just 'cause. Its capital Brisbane is a sweaty, seedy shithole. "Brisbane was the closest thing to a heavy, heavy, junta-style police state I've ever been in. I was looking over my shoulder a lot!" - Jello Biafra

• New South Wales (capital city: Sydney). Sandniggers, curryniggers, yellowniggers, niggerniggers, and convictniggers living side by side in a vast ghetto sprawl. Also spiders and roaches. Someone nuke that shit. Oh, and there's also a big bridge. Don't forget the big bridge. But beware going west of this bridge may result in one being swarmed by degenerates in nautica sports wear trying to steal your shoes.

• Northern Territory (capital city: Darwin). Grimey wasteland. BIG FUCKING ROCK. More grimey wasteland. Also Abos.

• South Australia (capital city: Adelaide). The one state on australia that people ACTUALLY LIKE. Basically filled with craptons of wine, Festivals, churches, and the one state that wasnt founded by convicts, as it was actually founded by Germans. Nobody gives a fuck about it but everyone knows that its the one non Northern territory state that isnt full bogan retard shithole.State .

• Tasmania (capital city: Hobart). Recently sold to Denmark. Incestuous shithole. Also home of Australia's greatest massacre.

• Victoria (capital city: Melbourne). Three kinds of people live here: hipster jew faggots sipping soy lattes at art gallery openings, poofy eurasian scenesters doing the ketamine-induced shuffle on top of trams, and agro bogan cunts who spend their days glassing the two previous groups in the face. Tourists flock to Melbourne (moar like Melburn, amirite) to experience art, cuisine, and multicultural harmony. Everyone in Melbourne are tree-hugging faggots and like telling the rest of the country to check their privilege.

• Western Australia (capital city: Perth). Big, obnoxious & greedy coal mining fucks who like to whinge about the east coast, get butthurt real easy and are always threatening to secede every two days or so because for WA it's 'that time of the month' everyday. Basically Australia's Texas. Australia couldn't care less if the lumbering giant went through with its "I'M LEAVING FOREVER" emo tantrums, only to be reminded WA's sand makes up 95% of Australia's economy. The promised land for white South Africans living in exile.

Affiliated areas

• Antarctica. Ausfags have a thing for vast empty spaces of infertile nothingness. So the other day they sent some guy to claim the south pole as official territory of Oz. Plans are underway to convert it into a prison island for British tourists that whinge about the heat.

• Christmas & Cocos (Keeling) Islands. Both are degenerate race-mixing shitholes used by the government to dump pakis & sandniggers who arrive by boat as "asylum seekers".

• New Zealand. Androgynous sheep-rooting hobbits. Unlike Oztrollia's convict past, the kiwis were founded by christfags. New Zealand now has a larger prison population than Australia. To curb this trend, the NZ government is sending failboats of maori to Australian shores.

Australia <3's Islam

As the 1990s drew to a close with the climax of Pauline Hanson's "One Nation" party, the traditional Australian past time of bashing Asian refugees lost its shine, as the nation realised it was in fact lucky to be getting such cheap, high grade Vietnamese heroin, and that their grub wasn't too bad after all. Clearly with no influence from the American motherland, Aussie thought laterally and with a bit of ingenuity, voila, found a new, largely untapped minority to marginalise, Australian-Lebanese Arab (translation- loyal, personal ambassadors of Osama Bin Laden). This method of inducting newfags into the clan goes back to the Irish, then wogs mid-century, and now present day muzzies. In the interests of preserving cultural heritage, it will no doubt continue in the future.

Here are some views and reactions of the forever reasonable, outward looking, open minded Australian public...

Australian Welcoming Committee on their way to greet some Muslim folk ♪ You gotta have a mon-taaaagge ♪ Camden residents attitude to Islamic school A brave cameraman puts a Muslim father and son (see also "fucking terrorists") in their place Previous Video | Next Video

Common Assumptions Facts About Australians

An Aussie sheila performing surprise buttsecks as part of her homeland's annual Root a Roo event. Yiff in hell, Ausfurrians.

• Enjoy throwing their shrimps (it's prawns you fucking seppo cunt) on barbies.
• Constantly get wasted on tons of their Australian beer.
• Have only 5 internets connections.
• Aussie men are known to be obnoxious, sexist, loud-mouthed alcoholics.
• Are the world's greatest nuclear threat and the world's biggest polluters, which is hilarious given how erratic and deadly their climate already is. Enjoy your Road Warrior wasteland.
• Abort their young soon after birth via dingoes, and have now gained the ability to throw 4 year old children off bridges.
• All live in the desert holding knives 24/7 with accents thicker than Ron Jeremy on benzadrine.
• Are all racist closet klansman with a tendency to riot.
• Fuck kangaroos at every given opportunity to keep up with New Zealand sheep fucking.
  • This is bullshit. You ever tried to catch one of those bastards?
• The men are usually horny, overweight perverts.
• Kill thousands of innocent stingrays because Steve Irwin was fucking stupid enough to touch one.
• Are fat, lazy, stupid cunts.
• All the women are named Sheila, Shazza, or Cheryl.
• Most blokes (men folk) are named Bazza, Robbo, Mick, Jano or Poida.
• Australian culture is a fusion of the very worst American, British and Irish traits.
• Australian women are hot as fuck (especially Danni and Kylie) *** Don't even kid yourself with that shit; most Australian whores are as just as fat and hideous as American whores (and are just as loud and obnoxious, too!). Nice try though, fucktard!
• Are all part of the chemo that is curing /b/.
• Australians hate cute, little fluffy bunnies and shoot them on sight.
• Think that the rest of the world thinks Aussies are awesome, but when they go overseas discover that everyone else thinks they are the absurd joke of humanity. <<<<<<< It's funny because it's actually fucking TRUE.

Typical Australians

Australian noble tracking aborigines

Tim Ward will tell you everything you need to know about the Gold Coast

A fine young Australian chap Melbourne West Bogans Australia the Wonderful The "rape your child" line is a reference to King Fritzl If you've seen this Australian, you've seen them all Typical Australian pop song Grouse yarn, mate The Australian National -secret- Anthem Aussie Rules? Moar like Immense Faggotry, amirite Australian television, now available in 1080p HD Previous Video | Next Video

This man attends the same church as Geoffrey Leonard 2 The Wiggles teach you how to covertly cop a feel! Previous Video | Next Video

Typical Aussie Advice Dog Spin-off About missing Pics

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Famous Australians

Australian Hall of Fame.

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Australia: The Lucky Country - Also the Radioactive Waste Dump of the World

No matter what they advertised there in Australia, it isn't a lucky country but does pack many lolz. It sucks the balls of mighty Asia and is nothing more than the dumping grounds of nuclear waste of America and Europe and displaced European criminals. These disgraces of human beings were deemed unworthy of being on British soil so they were sent to Australia as a means of getting rid of them forever as far away as possible, and hopefully killed. But unfortunately these low-grade humans call Australia the lucky country, but it wasn't lucky for the Aboriginals who lived there and lulz-ily got killed by those same genocide loving assholes. Who has been there for 40,000 years and the oldest and luckiest country is a propaganda phrase used to cover up Australia's most lulzy taboo Genocide lol.

But of course White Australians don't like that word, but they'll admit to words like Pacifying, Killing, Cleansing, Excluding, Exterminating, Poisoning, Shooting, and Starving. Anything but genocide, anything but the truth.

PRAISE AUSTRALIA DAY, Y'ALL!!!

Australian Filmmaking

The White Australian Government paid large tax breaks by to the propagandists for a film simply called "Australia" that advertised this shit country as a fun (link sex), happy (link cum), and most of all lucky country. It used an Aboriginal girl (link prostitot) to distract (link stupid) people from te continuing ongoing genocide there lol.

Well besides that it's also nothing more than a dumping ground for our shit anyway, all our Nuclear Waste is shit out of Americas and Britain loose ass near the seas of Australia.

Australia is also known to create inspiring biopics of their most cherished, honored, intelligent and influential citizens, including mass serial-killing sadist and rapist Ivan Milat, referred to as "The Backpacker Murderer."

"THAT'S FORE WRECKIN' ME FACKUN' TRUCK, YA BITCH!"

They also sometimes peddle out complete crap like:

• Ravenswood

Other Australians

Todd McKenney, An Australian celeb & junkie.

Average Australian family.

• Geoffrey Leonard - Sexually abused a sixteen-year-old boy and his thirteen-year-old brother "beyond belief." After serving his prison term, he wrote several books; all of which are, apparently, about "molesting young boys."
• Peter Scully - A prime example of how nasty is Australia. Tortured and raped/molested kids -Sharjah Ruler style- followed by killing them. Not only that, but he sold such videos on the deep web too.
• Crocodile Dundee - Australia's official national treasure as of 2008.
• Mickyy Moo - Yes, the queen of the trolls is from Australia.
• Albert Einstein.
• Josef Fritzl - Australia's ex-king, current prime minister.
• Morgan Bye - Australia's Youngest Pedophile
• The Teenage Kings of Werribee - Young social and political activists and representatives of the Australian culture, expected to form the next government of the country.
• David Thorne - The only good to ever come from Australia, mostly because he trolled other Australians. Also, he now lives in America.
• Rolf Harris - Australia's Colonel Sanders lookalike and household name who went from singing about tying down kangaroos to hosting an animal welfare program on the BBC for 10 years. Turns out he's been tying down children too. Recently found guilty of kiddie fiddling, you can be sure Harris' arse will be a wobble board in prison for all his fellow inmates to enjoy.

Australia's pride and joy, tying down the truth for decades.

• Marty Bryant - Famous traveller and Australia's current IRL Unreal Tournament deathmatch champion; scored 35 frags and 19 hits in the 1996 Port Arthur Tournament.
• Steve Irwin - Crocodile rapist who was pwnt by a fucking STINGRAY.
• Ivan Milat - Typical helpful and friendly Aussie, always willing to help out a tired tourist, asking for nothing but some fun and frolicking in return. Did his part to improve the world by decreasing the amount of the English and Germans in it.
• SNOIPAH - A polite and civilized gunman. Of course, he's a video game character because an actual Australian could conquer none of his traits.
• Kylie Minogue - Dat ass.
• MichaelDragon800 - Infamous Sonicfag, tap pervert and brony.
• Rupert Murdoch - Controls Faux News, the world's most trusted media network. You can always rely on FOX to cum down your throat.
• Steven Conroy - Minister for Censorship and Pandering to Religious Shitheads, aka Defender of faith, Protector of children, and Saviour of all mankind. He is single-handedly editing all wikis to remove all the "naughty bits".
• Michael Atkinson - Responsible for the wholesale banning of vidya, as well as decreeing that anonymous bloggers must blog with their real names during state elections, else risk jail. Less than a day later however, the Attorney-General repealed the law, likely due to the public's fist inserted up his arse.
• Alf Stewart - Another notorious dungeon rapist from Australia. Cunt's fucked.
• Julian Assange - IRL troll and Sweeaboo-rapist from Wikileaks.
• Chopper Read - criminal who wrote some books full of lies.
• HairyNosedWombat - By far the biggest Australian faggot to use the internet, this crybaby asshole is a fat, 70-year-old Muslim alcoholic who spends his pathetic existence posting his faggotry on IMDb.com.

Native Animals

Australia

Kangaroo

A popular mode of transport in Australia, the Kangaroo (pronounced KAN-ga-ROO, meaning "Lolwut?" in the Aboriginal tongue) is a cute and fluffy creature that can absolutely rape the shit outta you like Mike Tyson on speed. They bounce around on their back legs and can knock you out with a punch. The said creatures venture through the bush and deserts, looking for something to eat, and an Aboriginal to kick the shit out of. Some may confuse a kangaroo for a wallaby, and even though they're different, nobody gives a shit. When asked nicely you can have a ride on a Kangaroo. They will take you to Aboriginals who will eat you. The Kangaroo's get nothing for riding you to the aboriginals because they're stupid fags. When seeing a kangaroo make sure you're a nigger and have no clothes on to confuse them to be an aboriginal so they wont eat you. When they are alone it is likely that they are fapping to 4chan.

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  Australians can be unpredictable and violent.
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  Typical kangaroos in the wild.
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  The so promised raep.
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  Pwned

Emu

Moar info: Emu War.

After millennia of pwning (and being worshipped by) neanderthals, this large flightless bird turned its rapey stare to the white man and proceeded to wreak havoc on outback communities by eating all the crops and stampeding through like a giant tumbleweed of beaked trollfaces. This culminated with the Australian government declaring war on the Emu. For cereal. Like some other wars, the Emu War failed. "The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic." - TOW. Emus: 1, Shitfaced Convicts with Machine Guns: 0.

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  revert, b&
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  An albino emu. He feels good man.
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  Why so emo?

Koala

Contrary to popular belief, a koala is not a fucking bear, faggots. It eats all your trees and sleeps most of the time. Well known for their cuteness and cuddliness, koalas often drop from trees and kill people on impact. They also produce a loud roar that will make you cry. Protip: Japanese schoolgirls cannot resist the koala's kawaii ^-^', which can be exploited by certain people.

to its full potential.

The koala is known as one of Australias deadliest animals as almost all of them have chlamydia (no srsly, go look it up) and will spread it to you. it is a well known fact that the reason why koalas have the clap is because that when the aboriginies get high from sniffing paint fumes and they can find any little boys around they will rape any koala they can find.

A Genuine Australian Wildlife Specimen

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  A koala tastes fine too!
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  When falling, some may use lightsabers.
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  Awesome Foursome hot koala buttsecks.

Pauline Hanson

Accurate representation of the political views, and appearance of the average Australian.

How to Troll

if you see this Australian troll whore Stylidiumlane you better fucking run mate

• Tell White Australians to go back to the British jails they came from.
• Remind them that White Australians are also immigrants and it doesn't matter how many generations they've been there, they will never be considered real native Australians.
• Remind them that Hitler thought Australians were inferior and wanted the Japanese to wipe them out (another reason why the Nazis should have won the war).
• Ask them about the extensive amount -hundreds- of Australian males traveling to Bali & Thailand to engage in underage prostitution.
• Ask them if their parents were brothers and sisters who had sex due to religious crap.
• Confuse them for Germans.
• Confuse them for New Zealanders
• Confuse them for British
• Confuse them for shit.
• Ask them why their country is infested with pedophiles.
• Ask them why it's legal for adults in Australia to have sex with 16 year old Children.
• Tell them Australia was a prison for British rapists and pedophiles, as a result they carried these genes towards lowering age of consent to 16 in order to maintain their sick pedophilia fantasies.
• Tell them to stop pretending as you know everything.
• Tell them it’s too late to censor it as you already know.
• Tell them that Australian slang is the worst thing that ever happened to the English language and its slowly dying off (thank fuck).
• Remind them that the Anzacs sucked during WW1, and the Muslim Ottoman Empire fucked them up in Gallipoli (not like the Ausfags had a chance).
• Ask them why they celebrate Anzac day even though they lost the battle of Gallipoli(Fucken Retards).
• Say the Gallipoli campaign was less important to WWI than a dry fart in a trench.
• Tell them their women are ugly, dumb and fat (the Australian men already know, that's why they are marrying fit, smart, attractive Asian women).
• Remind them that they are a minor nation that no one gives a fuck about.
• Invite them to see an Australian film.
• Say that Bart Vs. Australia was the best travelogue you've ever watched.
• Interrupt them when they're talking by saying 'a dingo ate your baby'.
• Start every conversation with "Thank God for the USA".
• Apply your own culture's racial stereotypes to their television shows and advertisements.
• Ask them, "Why are the Lebanese so poorly treated in your country?"
• Tell them any Australian detention centre is worse than Guantanamo Bay.
• Tell them the Bali bombing was a forced meme.
• Tell them you know about their 80s-90s Shenanigans of Child Abuse and the worshipping of a devil in human body by doing everything he does.
• Tell them their version of football is gay. (Only works on Victorians. The entire rest of the country already knows this.)
• Remind them that the superior smart Asians and Indians are the only reason their country is doing economically well, and has nothing to do with the fat,lazy,drunk,stupid white convicts. (That statement is surprisingly true).
• Remind them that China could wipe Australia of the world map with their Nuclear arsenal, so keep sucking their cock.
• Purposely confuse their flag with the New Zealand flag.
• If you hear them talk, tell them they sound British.
• Remind them they are the spawn of convict buttrape (disregard that, that's their greatest source of pride).
• Remind them that they are actually the low caste inferior whites, no different from the nigga white Irish and the sub-human white eastern Europeans.
• Tell them that removing the White Australia policy was the best thing that ever happened to their country.
• Make fun of the way they pronounce "no" at every given opportunity. "NOY"
• Bring up "Cheer Cheese" and how it used to be known as "Coon Cheese" and tell them that it is made from aboriginal nigger dick cheese (hence it's former name) and sells well among the white australians.
• Call them a "Gin Jockey"

Things Australians Hate

• Australia
• Being patriotic
• Asians
• Allah
• Aboriginals
• Anyone who disagrees with them
• Foster's Beer
• The British
• Kiwis
• Eating healthy foods
• The Americans
• Enforcing the law
• Helping poor people
• Mel Gibson
• Indians
• The Westboro Baptist Church
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Great Australian Bake Sale

The Great Australian Bake Sale of 2009 began in the Victoria region on the 7th of February when a group of ozzy /b/tards decided to raise money for moar internets by staging a bonfire and charging people $1A (about £0.00001) to roast marshmallows.

Sadly, the aforementioned 'tards got so caught up in watching old episodes of Sons & Daughters that they didn't watch the BBQ properly and things got a bit out of hand.

Many people tried to hide from the flames but due to a recent outbreak of AIDS, most pools were unfortunately closed.

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  How the fire was believed to have been started
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Gallery

Gallery of Australia About missing Pics

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  Marty Bryant, Australia's 1996 Pro-Gamer of the Year.
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  MAX DOUGHIES BRAH!1!!
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  Dame Edna, a typical Australian Sheila and Raeper of possums. Note the facial hair and enlarged biceps. Not shown: Massive hairy scrotum.
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  Australia has an immigration policy promoting multiculturalism.
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  Epic Ausfail Guy.
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  A koala in action.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Australian heroes.
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  Another type of hero that the Aussies worship!
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  Prime Minister Bob Hawke held the record for the fasting drinking of a yard of beer. He was also openly adulterous, hence "most popular PM ever".
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  Prime Minister Paul Keating said on gay marriage, "Two blokes with moustaches and a spaniel do not make a family." He then divorced his missus for a life of smoking teh dick. No rly.
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  Aussie EX-Prime Minister John Howard. He's conservative of politic and DJs like a mad cunt.
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  Prime Minister Harold Holt simply disappeared one hilarious day in 1967 whilst bodysurfing. In his honour, Australia named a swimming pool after him. Nevar forget.
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  You are what you fap to.
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  Even Zezima has trouble with them.
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  "According to an Oxford study Australian men make the world’s worst husbands. They simply refuse to lift a finger to help out with housework."
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  Aboriginal don't know desecrating the flag is the white fella's favourite pastime.
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  Popular Australian beverage
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  Demographics of Australia: 5 cops for every Abo, 5 beach whores for every cop.
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  Extra points if you hit a muso.
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  Fighting police with beer bottles is the Australian way. FUKIN STRAYYA MATE!!1!oneone
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  Rattail, fully sik tattoo of Australia, and skin cancer: three Australian icons.
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  Soccer's for fuckin' poofs mate... fapfapfapfap.
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  Native Australians spear-headed a musical renaissance during the 70s with tribal dancing on flashing coloured squares the likes of which had never been seen.
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  Australia, I am disappoint.
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  The Australian political machine is a global leader in Tubes 2.0 campaigning.
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  Australia is proud to host many of the USA's state-of-the-art torture centres.
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  Would you accept a ride with this typical Australian? A whole bunch of English citizens did just that.
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  The head of the newly-created Ministry of Citizenship and Assimilation.
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  Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi!
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  Mad as vl turbo, ported subwoofa, pumpin the hardstylez uleh.
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  Australians love it in the ass.
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  So I heard you voet Ruddkipz...
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  Internets in Australia, don't allow AusFags to access 4chan. And nothing of value is lost.
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  Hulk hates Australia.
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  Fags are considered a delicacy among Australian children.
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  Don't do it.
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  The budget is over 9000.
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  Go to Victoria, get eaten by fire.
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  Samuel L. Jackson hates this censorship crap.
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  So does John McClane.
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  The two major food groups of Australians are beer and cigarettes, as illustrated by Hoveround.
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  LOL WUT
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  Most Australians' heads resemble this shape.
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  He's doin it for teh lulz.
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  JESUS CHRIST IT'S A SHARKGULL GET IN THE CAR!
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  Living in or visiting South Australia automatically makes you sad.
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  Support the Nation, set it as your MSN DP.
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  Save the World from these asshats, set it as your MSN DP.
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  Some do manage to sneak in
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  A popular alternate Australian flag.
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  The full extent of Australian culture
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  ED in the australian news.
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  Asshole Kangaroo.
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  The Australian Flag during the reign of Ruddkipz.
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  A typical Australian supermarket that caters to boongs.
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  Aussie spotting Fobs (Fresh off the Boat)
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  Political map.
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Famous Australians on ED

• Aboriginal - Typical citizens of Ausfalia.
• Hugh Jackman Can Ride Anything - An example of Ausfalia trying to force a meme.
• Josef Fritzl - The most famous Ausfalian.
• Cocaine Babe not a citizen but she'll be in Australia for almost 5 years.
• Rove McManus
• Danger Dolan
• Ruth Frith
• Daniel Iskandar - Claims to be a celebrity because of this page.
• Snapesnogger - World's most glass jawed Deviantartist.
• Team Fortress 2 - FPS game featuring ausfags
• Yahtzee Worthless piece of shit. So as tradition, the British government b& his ass to stralia
• Dev-catscratch
• Mad Max (Game)

External Links

Currency of the future, thanks to the New World Order and Joseph Evers.

• Official site of the United States of Australia
• Popular Australian pastime (AIDS)
• ninemsn article on this article
• Australia is now the fattest country in the world
• Typical Australian road trip

United States of Australia is part of a series on Ausfailia [CollapseExpand]

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Featured article January 25, 2008
Preceded by Heath Ledger	United States of Australia	Succeeded by PROJECT CHANOLOGY