Dylan Schumaker

This person is a sick fuck! They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these: HIV/AIDS Bestiality Cuckoldry

This article is about a person who is under 18 years old. You can help by knocking down their self esteem, telling them to stay in school and to get off of the Internets until then.

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Dylan Schumaker
Nationality:	Americunt
Highscore	Killed 1, mentally impared everyone else.
Top 25?	Far from it.
Mode	Single player
An Hero?	Incarcerated
Motive:	Pedophilia

Dylan "Black Hole" Schumaker is a white trash, autistic, psychotic pedofuck who thought his whiteness would help him get away with murdering his girlfriend's 23-month-old son. Now he's in prison getting his ass torn apart by the inmate known as (in popular culture), Fleece "The Booty Warrior" Johnson. Parents: he's a great babysitter. Trust me, I know...

The Story

Last Thursday, The child's mom decided to go out partying and left her son with Dylan, her boyfriend. When she got home, she saw her son on the doorstep with red stuff smeared all over him as well as "Mommy's little doorstep" written on his right leg. Much to Ashlee's horror, she screamed her ass off and ran into the house only to see her boyfriend running around the house naked while breaking shit and sticking the TV remote up his big gapping hole (which would eventually be used as Bubba's ass to fuck off for the next 15 years). She knew he became Batshit Insane and called a Party Van on his ass so they could beat the hell out of him with nightsticks & tasers until he became a living, immobile sex doll.

Seriously, FUCK THIS SICK BASTARD!!!

In Court

Aww... look at those FAKE tears. What a fucking pussy.

	“	I am a 16-year-old blond. Probably all I have to do is cry in front of the jury, and they’re going to feel sorry for me.	„
	—Dylan's futile attempt to break out of jail.

Before Dylan was taken into the courtroom, he planed out a stage act for the verdict in an attempt to get away with murdering poor little Austin Smith, the child victim who was beaten to death with a brick because he wouldn't stop crying. After the judge discovered this, he decided to use it against Dylan to rip his ass apart even more than his (soon-to-be) prison mates ever could. Dylan decided to cry alligator tears in a pathetic attempt to gain sympathy from the verdict, but since they knew he was a fucking autistic psychopath who needed to be locked away for all eternity, they game him THIS instead.

The Verdict...

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

GUILTY!!!

Prison Life

Dylan was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Now he's being used as the mooching butt toy for the big black inmates in hell's prison, since his previous inmates raped him so hard that he died from the copious amounts of assrape that was put into him. He never made it through the 15 years he was sentenced to.

	“	You think you in jail, but you really in hell! And I need dat' tail!	„
	—Bubba, Dylan's inmate.

Graded score
Kill count:	1/20 Everyone else involved became scarred for life
Accuracy:	1% He bricked the poor kid in the face
Style:	1/20 BABYKILLER!!!
Butthurt:	20/20 Don't ever be a babysitter
Bonus:	0/20 The prize: A great big ass raping by Bubba!
Total score: 1/100 (F)

The F is for "Fuck You, Dylan!" See full ranking

Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________

Why don't you have a seat over there...

Enter! The Booty Savages!

See Also

Dylan's butthole 15 years from now.

• Autism
• Child abuse
• Children
• Goatse
• Pedophilia
• Prison Rape
• Psychopaths

Links

• Full summary
• The little faggot got his sentence reduced

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Dylan Schumaker is part of a series on Psychopaths

[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]