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Aaron Bushnell: Difference between revisions
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{{ib|[[File:Self-immolation of Aaron Bushnell.jpg]]<br>'''''"Free Palest-ACK!"'''''}} | {{ib|[[File:Self-immolation of Aaron Bushnell.jpg]]<br>'''''"Free Palest-ACK!"'''''}} | ||
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Aaron Bushnell'''</big>}} | {{Ibhead|<big>'''Aaron Bushnell'''</big>}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''| | {{Ibrow|'''Born'''|June 30, [[1990s|1998]]}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|February 25, [[2024]] (aged 25)}} | {{Ibrow|'''Died'''|February 25, [[2024]] (aged 25)}} | ||
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}} | {{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}} | ||
Revision as of 13:03, 30 October 2024
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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of the Prophet (ﷺ)? We are here to help! Please click here! |
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 "Free Palest-ACK!" | |
|---|---|
| Aaron Bushnell | |
| Born | June 30, 1998 |
| Died | February 25, 2024 (aged 25) |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
|
| Occupation | U.S. Air Force serviceman |
| Highscore | Killed 0, injured 0 |
| Top 50? | O Rly? |
| Style | Fire Emblem, Single Player |
| An Hero? | Yes, by setting himself on fire |
| Motive | Islamic extremism Autism |
February 25, 2024, amongst the hilarious ongoings of the Israel-Hamas war, 11,000 kilometers away from the uncivilized and instead in the lardass Jewnited States of Americunts, Aaron Bushnell was an obvious undercover Al-Qaeda, Hamas, ISIS and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse operative and 
Redditor (Archive 1, 2) disguised as your average serviceman in the U.S. Air Force who under the guidance of Allah was sent to increase anti-Western sentiment and Antisemitism in the civilized world (anywhere other than Gaza) by becoming An hero by setting himself on fire and burning to death outside of the U.S. Israeli Embassy whilst shouting "Free Palestine".
Due to being too worried that his death would be forgotten after 2 days and not mentioning that he was an attention whore, he decided to livestream the suicide, an increasingly common trend amongst an heroes with Ronnie McNutt and Shuaiby as examples of the hot new fad, meaning that Aaron’s death will be a certified hood classic on gore sites. Like every other "self-immolater" (other than 
this guy), he began screaming, wriggling around and obviously regretting his dumbnut decision almost instantly after 5 seconds of being ablaze instead of showing self-control like a true an hero of that selection would.
Background
Aaron was likely trained in Afghanistan from a young age on guerilla tactics and how to suicide bomb churches but was snuck into the U.S. as an undercover soldier of Islam, he was originally a typical nerd who worked in cybersecurity before being drafted into the U.S. military during the October 2023 theatre release of Gaza War 15: The Arabs are fighting the Jews, again?.
The most probable immediate message sent to Aaron from his Fed buddies was to commit a terrorist attack at his own military barracks in "the name of Allah and in revenge for U.S. military presence in Iraq Afghanistan Gaza", but they likely realized that this would only increase Islamophobia and Christchurch fans in America, so in order to increase sympathy for Hummus and Palestine, a totally "new, original and never done before" protest would have to be executed.
Self-immolation
—Aaron being deep | ||
In the early afternoon, Aaron began a livestream on Twitch under the screen name LillyAnarKitty. (Closeted transgender? Perhaps) He gives a poetic speech about what he is about to do, sets down his camera and pours gasoline all over himself before whispering “Free Palestine.”. In the distance we hear a security officer say “Hey, can I help you sir?”, Aaron then struggles to start the lighter until he succeeds and catches on fire.
He immediately begins trolling the Israeli building by repeatedly shouting “Free Palestine”, the more engulfed he becomes in flames, the louder his autistic screeches become. An officer shouts “There’s a fire!”. After a few seconds the realization of what he is doing kicks in and he begins stumbling and shouting actual screams of pain rather than the shouts of your average protester.
The officers respond extremely quickly, yet for some reason point their guns at him until they remember he's white. Thankfully, some officers who are not mentally challenged swoop in and extinguish the flames with fire extinguishers but alas, Aaron has already been cooked. He may not have died an American hero, but he is certainly our an hero.
Aftermath
Considering this is a fairly recent event, there have not been too many reactions yet. Perhaps his sacrifice will cause even more Palestards to set themselves on fire outside their local ZOG branches, or a Muslim might even commit a typical Islamic terrorist attack in his honour. There have been some responses however, including politicians and even some friendly festival skydivers.
Typical progressive “real Muslims” who live in countries like Canada, think that the hijab is “a choice” and that Muslims are persecuted in the West, began memorializing Aaron on Twitter by calling a “martyr” and saying for him to “Rest in Power”. Both of these statements angered actual traditional and fundementalist Muslims in the Middle East as they believe a non-Muslim is not someone to be praised and also black people were getting annoyed that a pussy whiteboy was being told to rest in power, a phrase which has typically been used for totally respectable and functioning members of society who always cooperate with police officers.
In the end, we can assume that he basically did this for nothing. People are still going to die in the war and the only thing now is that Zionists have another Palestine supporter to laugh at. He had a street named after him. Hip-hip-hooray, dumbass.
All else aside, it stands as living proof that the Agrabah Nazis can't do anything right. You're supposed to torch the Jews to remove them from your country, not torch yourselves. Retards.
—/pol/ack | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 0/20 |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 0/20 |
| Style: | 0/20 An Hero: Military Edition |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 Only Muslims and protesters cared |
| Bonus: | 0/20 No bonus for being autistic |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
Gallery
See also
- An hero - What he is
- Golden iPod - 2024 Nominee
- Palestine - What he did it for
- Israel - The country of the embassy and the country that is definitely genociding Muslims
- Jews
- Gaza War
- Ronnie McNutt - Also livestreamed his hero, except not over a bunch of goatfuckers
- Payton Gendron - Also livestreamed on Twitch, except he was murdering niggers instead
- Brenton Tarrant - #1 livestreamer of all time
External links
Aaron Bushnell is part of the following series:
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Aaron Bushnell is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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| Aaron Bushnell is part of a series on Dying Alone
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| Article of the Now March 2 & 3, 2024 | ||
| Preceded by Final Fantasy VII Remake |
Aaron Bushnell | Succeeded by The Fourteen Words |