Aediot

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Aediot
Powerword	Jacob Evan Stellmach
Current Status	V&
Time As Sysop	March 2020 - November 2020
Kiwi Farms Thread	Ass Napkins

Aediot (Powerword: Jacob Stellmach^✡), also known as Pæperclip and Ass Napkins is a hustler who gives new meaning to being a "skid". He also owned the now dead .wiki ED.

Aediot was known for being an incompetent and petty fuck who was unable to keep the wiki up and running for a single day and throwing his admins under the bus by constantly blaming them for his inability to keep the wiki up for an hour. Having only run ED for 8 months, Jacob managed to fuck up the site entirely and get kicked out of the ED community for AIDS and fail.

Previously, Jacob had started his worthless ED career at the tender age of 17 sometime in 2014 under the pseudonym of Pæperclip. In less than a year, Paperclip was banned from the wiki and forums for being an autistic sperg and retard. Aediot was exposed for being a pedo and was relentlessly mocked about it until he ultimately ragequit.

He showed back up in 2020 with a new name and a new lady, Zaiger's ex-girlfriend Adezero. Jacob, who was about half her age, was dumped by Ade for being a couch surfing bum not worth of a moist tight vagina such as her's. He then manipulated a BPD mentally ill Scott Pilgrim girl he met on the forum, while Ade went on to not have sex with Ethan Ralph. Under Ade's tutelage, Jacob promised to bring back ED to its glory days and more! He promised paid jobs for writing articles and taking down the enemies of the lulz. It was almost too good to be true. SPOILER: It was.

Buckle your seat belts and prepare yourself for a bumpy ride that includes child pornography, hustling, BPD whores, attempting to take down ED, incompetency, ass napkins, etc.

Previous Antics and other Epic Fails

Onionland and the Dark Web

2ND RESULT ON BING

Jacob constantly identifies himself as a "darknet researcher". Jacob tries to leverage these claims to have le 2spooky4u informations about the scary seedy criminal underworld of Tor. It's safe to assume that "darknet researcher" really means "cp enthusiast" so there's no reason to be afraid of him online or IRL. He's not some 1337 hax0r and really just a skid, which is evidenced by his inability to keep a website like ED online and functional.

	“	Recently Anonymous launched OpDarknet, basically what happened was someone in the collective noticed a large amount of CP in Onionland and contacting the main hosting provider (Freedom Hosting) proved fruitless in removing the content so they took it down themselves.	„
	—Jacob refused to remove child porn so anonymous had to step in [1]

Prior to this, Jacob had "allegedly" run a tor hidden service site called Onionland, known online as a den of child porn, and who knows what else.

This section of the article is known to cause Jacob severe butthurt. Do not waste any time reminding him about Onionland for maximum lulz. He will insist and deny that the articles are incorrectly characterizing him, they aren't. Every single fact is always checked by teams of cute kittens.

Xerxes

Sometime during the crypto boom in 2018, Jacob had a short-lived cryptocurrency that was an obvious pyramid scheme. Jacob attempted to scam some money off investors with outrageous promises, but like everything else Jacob does, the ICO failed miserably and likely cost more than he ended up making. Before the scam ever blossomed into a beautiful shit napkin, Jacob deleted everything before he got anally pounded by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission

	“	A blatant Ponzi scheme ICO: xerxescontract.io is a high-yield investment programme, literally promising 200% annual returns. Where do they get these remarkable sums of money? Vague and nonspecific “arbitrage”, which was literally what Pirateat40 claimed for his 2012 Bitcoin Ponzi. They have an ICO for initial buy-in. I searched on the names and photos in the white paper and was actually surprised not to find the usual string of prior fraud convictions.	„
	—David Gerard on Xerxes

The Hustler's Bible

	“	Aediot understands his industry immediately, and takes you down an eccentric path that isn't afraid to shy from the norm in order to make it big in copywriting. His advice on playing it cool and the ideology of "no matter what happens, I'm eating steak" has resonated with me greatly on my path to becoming a great copywriter. Finding work has never been easier, I've been able to go right up to the top and inform CEOs that they are in need of my services to turn their product and newsletters into a tantalizing piece of delectable wordplay to both entice and excite."	„
	—aediot

Jacob "The Hustler" Stellmach and two of his hustler friends self-published a $150 $70 "self-help" book called "The Hustler's Bible" (not to be confused with "A Hustler's Bible", a book written by a nigger that actually succeeded in life). It is ironic to attempt to sell a $70 book about succeeding when you can't manage to fix your own broken wiki before getting b& by its own community. His shitty website for his book is currently down, which means that it's no longer even purchasable. Its the same thing as every other "get rich quick" scheme, except that its condensed in a 30 page booklet. Basically paying 5$ 2$ per page of rehashed content from Rich Dad, Poor Dad and other typical economicsfag books.

As "CEO" of Encyclopedia Dramatica

A quick pump n' dump m'dear

Jacob declares himself CEO of ED despite no one knowing who the fuck he is outside of having some shady internet history. Jacob even went as far as filing paperwork incorporating it despite never writing an article himself. Jacob proceeds to be unable keep the site up more than a week at a time, gets sued because he has a "company" around ED, spends all day on Twitter and gets 2 retweets, makes his own forum only to have bots as users, and fucks a heroin junkie's ex twice his age. Jacob isn't just a junkie for weed and Adderal, he's also addicted to epic fail. Later on Jacob gets kicked out of Adezero's house after his refusals to leave, so he proceeds to ban her from everything.

After growing impatient ED was not gaining him the ultimate streetcred moderators of ED involved in a criminal conspiracy, promising to teach them how to open lines of credit in other peoples names, and how to take down any WordPress site that was deemed "enemies of ED". Why he thought anyone would fall for this I'll never know, it could be the weed or ADHD medication abuse but Jacob "Secondhand Zaiger" Stellmach didn't stop there because he then notified the same user that he would be selling the site to one of his dark web friends and not tell anyone about it, out of fear for it affecting donations he expected to receive for the lawlsuit against him.

	“	I REGISTERED ON KIWI FARM TO SEE THIS SHIT UNFOLD AND I GOTTA ADMIT, EVEN THO ADZERO LOOKS LIKE ALF MIXED WITH THE CLEANING LADY ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER FUCKED ON THE DOWN LOW, AND GOT TITTIES SHAPED LIKE LOW MOISTURE MOZZ, I GOTTA GIVE PROPS TO AEDIOT FOR GETTING LAID WITH NAPKINS STUCK INTO HIS ASSHOLE.... SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN THERES A CHAD MOVE HIDDEN THERE LOL	„
	—Assblonker

Plans to sell out ED

Gallery of a clearly elaborated joke About missing Pics

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  "After this lawsuit ends I'm transferring ownership"
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  "It's either splinter the retards or pony up law fees forever"
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  "You think Oddguy can run the wiki?"
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  "We have to fight it, it's retarded
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  "Do you think I need to declare I'm leaving"
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  "Counsel on what level"

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  Trust me, I'm a cat

As an Enemy of teh Lulz

Jacob filing an abuse report against dramatica.online's host in an attempt to try and take down ED

• Promised numerous backups, instead prevented others to do such things, causing the Restoration 2020 program to be bigger than ever (Thanks, kike.)
• He did remove the porn ads for a bit, but it was to advertise his scam shitty book
• Tried to fuck the ED jannies balls deep, as previously mentioned
• Tried to sell ED to his favorite Dark Web loli.
• Attempts to get us kicked off our host

ED quits AEdiot (November 22, 2020)

After the criminal conspiracy came to light, as well as everyone being sick of his inability to run the site, a new site was created and online in less than 12 hours, something that had taken Jacob weeks of posting about and crying about on twitter saying he had teams of people working and was costing him thousands of dollars was done in half a day by 1 person.

There was no power struggle, no threatens to sue, no splitting of the community, Jacob is still living in his delusional world that HE is the CEO of ED and it's HIS wiki that is the real wiki and "will be up any day now guys I promise" but he forgot that NO ONE owns ED and in this case, ED owned him.

More Faggotry; Trademark Threats (March 14th, 2021)

On March 13th, 2021 UMK, Adezero, and Kaizen had a meeting with Conrad, the Sysops that got vanned prior to AEdiot's usurpation. To no one's surprise, Conrad declared himself for team win and stating that .online was the one true ED. UMK & Kaizen in turn told Conrad that he was welcomed back once he got out of Bubba's cell. Conrad also alleges that he trademarked ED before Aediot filed for his. Making Aediot's version a complete and total sham and a colossal waste of time, money, and effort for himself and the entire ED community.

The Great Ass Napkins Saga

“	Upon the farms came a shifty jew, with a stupid cause and a folder of nudes, celebrating his victory before the battle. Warnings and woes he preached to the rabble but his hopes and dreams were shattered before page two.	„
—CosmicSewerHobo, Collection 3 (2021)

Imagine making your girlfriend pick this up every day

Aediot declaring victory after she never posted in his thread.

On this lovely day on April 27, 2021, Aediot posted another thread on Kiwi Farms whining about the ED Discord and his ex-girlfriend in an attempt to try to threaten and intimidate her into silence, since Adezero was allegedly giving TOP SECRET INFOS to the ED community about his plans to trademark Encyclopedia Dramatica. His diabolical plan to get the farms to make fun of her by posting dox and nudes completely blew up in his face, as Adezero would later reveal that Aediot uses napkins to collect his anal seepage, which he would leave around her apartment, and make her pick up regularly. This stunning revelation derailed his plan and the thread turned into over 100 pages of the Kiwis clowning on and brutally roasting Aediot, establishing him as a lolcow.

In his own defense and a sad attempt to garner sympathy, Aediot claimed that he has to shove napkins in his ass due to his fecal incontinence due to rape. Allegedly his dad raped him in the ass as a toddler. However, his ex-girlfriend has stated that the most likely reason for his incontinence, is that he has taken miles of hard dicks in his stretched out asshole.

	“	Lmao the ass napkins No it's a medical thing due to being raped at a young age. I don't really care who knows about it it's not like it's a quirk I enjoy or anything If that's the best ammuniton Ade can provide then I've already won tbh	„
	—Aediot taking the "I was raped" defense

	“	what doesn't kill you makes you stronger	„
	—Aediot's dad providing his son's sphincter exercise

Unsurprisingly, his measly attempt to cope and defend himself only increased the absolute flaming KF was giving him by tenfold.

Later on, the independent, strong woman Putrid would post on the thread, embarrassing herself in front of EDF and KF users alike, getting shat on by both sites, in a desperate attempt to gain attention and to also get Mr. Ass Napkins to have sex with her.

Two days after the thread got started, it was temporarily locked by Kiwi Farms' moderators, due to the sheer amount of shitposting and lulz that has come straight out of EDF's userbase, driving the jannies and regular KF users insane. The next day the thread was unlocked culminating in massive lulz.

Jacob Stellmach showers with and grooms a 16 year-old boy

Last Thursday, Jacob "Paedoclip" Stellmach's old friend, .wiki admin, and room mate, Ashinine, spilled more beans and revealed how Jacob met and groomed him at the ripe age of 16. Yes you read that correctly, he was 16 when he met Aediot. He also revealed more about Aediot like how;

• Jacob smells like shit (shocking) and doesn't shower or clean his room

• He's broke, homeless, living out of air bnbs he gets money through various scams and begging for money from friends or just stealing it

• The only way he'd take a shower is if his roommate (male) would take them with him

• His asshole is so loose because his family members would run trains on him

• Gets really high and thinks he can communicate with demons to make deals to make money, yet he's still poor

• Jacob sold his car and left him homeless in Chicago

• Tranny fetish (has yet to hook-up with Chris-Chan)

• Accepts BJ's from minors

• Would leave his shit napkins in the garbage and floor, left them at the air bnbs when they'd leave

• Makes his money by buying ids/cc #'s on the dark web, getting stuff on amazon with stolen cc and have the items sent to a drop site where he'd then sell them for bitcoin

• 26 years old and still doesn't have a drivers license.

• Confirmed AEdiot believes he has magical powers.

Ashinine Tells-All About missing Pics

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  Used to contain his Pedo-Powers
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  Elton-John knock-off
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  Typical work day, no wonder ED was down
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  Yes, lives like a pig
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  Yes, a fucking fortnite gun
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  Jacob Sandusky

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Jacob's Asshole is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
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  Jacob, grooming a 16-year old boy
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  Geeze, who would have thought?
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  Coming to an airbnb near you
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  Jacob trying to hire legal consel from a 16-year old boy
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  Tranny dick pics and Jewish Tricks
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  AEdiot's Amazon Scams
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  sick fuck
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  Family cocksleeve

November 4, 2021: V&

	“	Jacob Evan Stellmach, 25, of the 5100 block of North Sheridan Road, Chicago, was charged with retail theft in the 6800 block of Carpenter Road on Nov. 4.	„
	— Chicago Tribune

On November 4, 2021, Jacob got charged with retail theft in the 6800 block of Carpenter Road of the Raq. Turns out stealing the wiki wasn't the only hustler move he wanted to pull out.

According to Police reports, Jacob was seen parking his bike at a broken fence and putting on a Ski Mask were he ducked into a commercial lot. Police were called and while talking to the homeowner, Jacob strolled back to his bike with the stolen goods . The merchandise included two baby Owlet Smart Socks, and two Magic Keyboards for a total of $856.00 in retail theft.

When asked if the items were stolen, Stellmach replied "I plead the fifth". When asked if he could provide a receipt, Jacob nodded "no". Subsequent viewing of store footage showed Jacob walking out with the merchandise.

Arrest Records About missing Pics

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{{{5}}}

Current Whereabouts and Court Dates

The Main Event match of The People of Illinois v. Jacob Stellmach will be held at the Skokie Courthouse on December 22nd at 1:30 pm CST, room 103.

Please send all thoughts and prayers, and lawsuits to:

5101 North Sheridan RD unit#413 Chicago, IL 60640

Gallery

IF HE SHOOT YA About missing Pics

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  Aediot on the subject of him not being able to set up a forum

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External Links

• aediot.cash - His gay personal website.
•  7Deadly7ins - His Twitter. Banned.
•  AEmenace - Now with more edge. Banned again.
• Aediot - His TOW account
• Jacob Stellmach - Go on, hire this fag to write for you.
• live:.cid.a7da4f4574e4c8de aediot Æ
• KiwiFarms Thread - Probably the most epic self-0wn so far this decade.
• Jacob's GoFundMe he planned to use to pump and dump the wiki with.
• EDF Thread #1510 "ASS NAPKINS"
• Twitter Thread - Owning The Libs By Telling An Autistic 12 Year Old To Suck Your Dick
• Xerxes on wayback

See Also

• Ariel Rose Sapeda - sysop who runs the "official ED twitter" to get free genshin impact money.
• Adezero - former gf
• Disgraced Encyclopedia Dramaticians - The full list
• 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕵𝖊𝖜𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘
• Zaiger420

Aediotis part of a series on The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

[Seal ThemOpen the Records] Events: In Chronological Order In the Beginning ◆ Attempted coup of the wiki ◆ RFJason CL Experiment ◆ May 2007 ◆ Dancing sandwich war ◆ ED turns 5 ◆ Creation of the ED Mascot ◆ ED sued by Australian Human Rights Commissions ◆ Australian Media interview ◆ Sheneequa Turns Four ◆ Girlvinyl deletes "Niggers" ◆ DeHippo replaces ED with KYM clone ◆ Operation Restoration ◆ New ED founder v& ◆ We change domains over 9000 times for various, hilarious reasons ◆ EDF2 game on the news ◆ ED turns 10 ◆ The Great ED Civil War of 2018 and Zaiger being kicked out for stealing money ◆ New ED owner gets v& (again) ◆ The Great Ass Napkins Saga ◆ Chicago Footjob During the Great Reign of ED: Includes Timelines 2005 ◆ 2006 ◆ 2007 ◆ 2008 ◆ 2009 ◆ 2010 ◆ 2011 ◆ 2012 ◆ 2013 ◆ 2014 ◆ 2015 ◆ 2016 ◆ 2017 ◆ 2018 ◆ 2019 ◆ 2020 ◆ 2021 ◆ 2022 ◆ 2023 ◆ 2024 Other Notable Years: 1980s ◆ 1990s ◆ 2000s ◆ 2010s ◆ Y2K ◆ Future ◆ 2001 ◆ 2002 ◆ 2003 ◆ 2004 See Also: ED Government ◆ Encyclopedia Dramatica in the News ◆ Disgraced, Missing and Dead Dramaticans ◆ Taking down ED

Aediot is part of a series on Enemies of the Lulz

People Adorkablegrrl • Aediot • Andreaurbanfox • Anonymous • Arab • Asalieri • Bledel • Blood on the Dance Floor • Bigbadron • CopperCab • Aaron0883 • CrusaderCat • Cubby • Daniel Brandt • DynaCatlovesme • Egg_Girl • FakeSagan • Felice_Fawn • Firedarkdragon • Flardox • Freelancerraiko • Gary Freeman • Girlvinyl • Hayakain • HTS-Noob • Irish282 • Isabella Loretta Janke • JEWS DID WTC • Jaymz Mutz • João Bernardo • Jolene JRyda • K00lAIDGIRL • Kaputsky • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Provance • Kevin Rudd • Lemon Demon • LifeInATent • LifeInACamp • Livy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • M0M0ko • Maneaeve • Mariozplaze • Mars Defden • MeganLeeHeart • Megan Meier • MessyJessie • Mike Tyson • Missalyssum • MyIDIsPhat Nick Bravo • Neko • Neotomi • Onideus Mad Hatter • Onision • Peter Chimaera • Phantom409 • Psyguy • Putrid • Qix • Rangerphile • Refath0 • Retro Video Game Kids • Rootbrian • SailorMercury90 • SapphyDracases • SarahChihuahua • Sevva-Phoenix • Shane Halligan • Shaycarl • SteAndKel • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Superlisamcb • Suzi Blu • Tanja Fleischer • TheAmazingAtheist • TheArchfiend • The Beer Pong Massacre • The Great Black Dick Hoax • Theresa Sheller • Tori Belliachi • Undertakerfreak1127 • Vampire • Vampiricspektor • VelvetFlowingAura • Voice-of-Blood • WeatherManKevin • willg8686 • Wolfeedarkfang/supporters • ZEN • Zzz33333 • Websites 4chon.net • Above Top Secret • Anarchy_Online • Ares • Blockland • Doutaini • encyclopediadramatica.wiki • Failcyclopedia • Furcadia • Furry Paws • Grass_City • Hypercube • Inkpop • Legi0n • MyWikiBiz • PlaneShift • Potterforums • SSO • Teenspot • The Anti-Twilight Movement • The YouTube Thomas Club • TwilightSucks • Wild Wolf Society • World of Darkness • Y! Japanese Anime • ZDaemon • Zetaforum • ZuuP Methods Press charges • Blank your article • File a lawsuit • File a DMCA • Buy a dog • Hire professionals • Ask people to help • Call the Police End Result Kill yourself • Hide the Evidence • Ragequit See Also White Knighting • Done with ED • Final solution • Free Speech

	Aediot is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Retreat!Do It Faggot]
Distinguished Individuals 03bgood • 2cash • abigblueworld • Adezero • aediot • Aeverine Nieves • Akai Dalia • Angel Locsin • A Man in Black • Argent009 • Asalieri • Aush0k • Bill9929 • Brian Martin • Chris-chan • Chrissie Barmore • CircaRigel • Clayranger89 • Daniel Brandt • DivineAngel • Donald Buffkin/Tablecow • Donny Long • drp1zza • ED Singers • Elizabeth Minami Wyvill • Erin Anthony • Feltcho • Flardox • Girlvinyl • Grace Saunders • Hayakain • Icewillow9 • Intellectual Checkmate • Ilovemydoodle • JDubs • Jim Profit • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Martin • Libertarian Fox • Linkaton Furaito • Love Shy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • Ljupco Steriev • Marjan Siklic • Meowbark • Mike Sandy • moot • Nate Spidgewood • Oliver D. Smith • Onideus • Pacificoceanasia • Paul Fetch • PixelBeeProductions • Preachingthegospel• Prince Jeremy • PrinceDumuzi • Purelily • Robert Wayne Stiles • Rootbrian • Rusty Ray • Sceptre • SheWolf • Sirius Orionis • SpleeNfat • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Tom Newton • VampiricSpektor • VideoGamePhenom • Vordrak • Wwwarea • YandereDev • Zenny Noble Internet Entities Anontalk • Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com • Conservapedia • DeviantART • encyclopediadramatica.wiki • Failcyclopedia • Josephevers.blogspot.com • Metafilter • MyAdopts • Namecheap • OhInternet • RationalWiki • Ripoff Report • Ultraviolet News Network • Uncyclopedia • VidLii • WikiFur • Wikipedia Glorious Civilizations Aborigines • Australia • Canada • China • France • Malaysia • Philippines • Tunisia Related Subjects and Methods Censorship • DDoS • Free Speech • Get a Lawyer • Hacking • Make a Petition • Notify the FBI • Serious Business • SOPA • The Græt Niggercide of Old ED • Writing an article for Uncyclopedia • You vs. ED

[SubmitEdit]

Aediot is a part of a series on Wikis

Aediot is part of a series on the former regimes

Corporate Shill Branch Girlvinyl • Jacknstock • Killhamster • Pink Poodle • Sheneequa • Thedreadedkettle • Zaiger • Conrad Alan Rockenhaus • Aediot • Umkemesik • MarioMario456 Unwitting Pawn Branch Blu Aardvark • BURK • Crazyconan • Ed Lolington • kale • Kazantzakis • Onideus • OtterWhiskers • Quasidan • Riboflavin • Schnookums • Tfo • ShardDax • vanff • Vermin • wattage • weev • WKD • WhiteMystery • Zenophile Angry Patriot Ghost Branch AlGore • Andrewpants • OldDirtyBtard • Rubberduc • yiri See Also Encyclopedia Dramatica • Epic Battle • Joseph Evers • MysteryBot • OhInternet • Sellout • Sheneequa Turns Four • The War of Zaiger Aggression

Featured article December 23 & 24, 2022
Preceded by December 21, 2012	Aediot	Succeeded by Christmas