Debbie Schlussel
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Debbie Schlussel✡ is the fat, Jewish version of Ann Coulter. Like Ann, she likes to troll liberals irl. Unlike Ann, she can't even do that right. She claims to be a member of MENSA. She claims everyone is a Muslim, especially Obama. In fact, if you're reading this, you're probably a Muslim. If you haven't heard of Lil' Debbie, you're a Muslim too.
Humble Beginnings
Born in Michigan, Debbie was doomed to fail from the start. She tried to run for representative in the Michigan state legislature, but failed terribly (losing only by one vote). Since then, she started her campaign of IRL trolling by BAWWWWWWWWWing over the results.
One of her claims to fame is finding out and seeking out sekrit Muslim terrorists. Unfortunately, she can't even do that right, as the Republican house representative she worked for was ARRESTED for funneling money to Islamic extremist groups. Apparently you can't learn much of anything when most of your time is spent under the desk.
She Will Have Your Humility
Three years ago,American Princess made omg sooo meaann comments on another blog. Debbuh flipped the hell out, and went as far as to call her boss repeatedly two years after the fact, and tell American Princess that she was obsessed with Debbie. She even admits that she got her fired from all her phonecalls. Also, being a conservative who hates trial lawyers, she threatened "victorious lolsuits" as well.
Debbie vs. Watchfags
After calling Watchmen fans faggots, Debbie incurred the wrath of comic book geeks everywhere. When commenters pointed out she was a retard, and mentioned Dr. Manhattan's cock more times than it showed up in the movie, she stirred up more lulz by creating sockpuppets to defend her and claiming e-victory.
Love of Snuff
After framing an innocent bystander for claiming that she was threatened by him, she gave this lulzy testimony in court:
For over two years since I received his two e-mails, I have had horrible nightmares of having my residence broken into by the likes of Mr. Abdallah. I have woken up just as my mind was dreaming of masked men pulling out swords and getting ready to behead me--just like on the Al-Qaeda video of Daniel Pearl's murder-- or blow me up, and just like in the threats Mr. Abdallah sent me. That is a dream that haunts me now, constantly, since I've received Mohamad Fouad Abdallah's e-mails.
I am in a constant state of fear. My residence, which has several windows, has the shades drawn, day and night. I never get to see the sun shine in because I am afraid of snipers shooting at me. I constantly leave through back and side doors and time-consuming alternate routes and am constantly looking all around me on the rare occasions that I travel in and out of my residence. It is, as I said, a constant state of fear and hyper-awareness. And I have to limit my trips outside because I never know when someone like Mr. Abdallah or one of his associates will be looking for me. Any noise, any slight abnormal sound in the middle of the night keeps me up indefinitely because I never know if it is Mr. Abdallah or one of his friends, relatives, or allies. This will never change. Mr. Abdallah changed my life forever, for the worst.
—Debbie Schlussel, able to dish it out but not take it. | ||
I have had to tell my parents, including my elderly father who had a heart condition about these threats, for their personal safety as they were frequently in my presence. My father has since died of cancer, which he developed within a year of Mr. Abdallah's e-mail threats. He was not in such a condition before I told him of Mr. Abdallah's threats to my life and limb. Although there are many causes of deadly illnesses like cancer, stress like that which Mr. Abdallah has caused my family certainly contributed to the health condition of my father.
My grandparents, survived the Holocaust and Nazi-occupied Europe. My mother is an immigrant from that life, who was born in Bergen Belsen Camp in Germany. My family thought they left that life of hatred and violence against Jews behind. But now, with Mr. Abdallah uninvitedly entering our lives, we see that Nazism didn't die. It just took a new form and a new geographic location.
Lolsuit Fail
Sorry, Jim, but you cannot “leave it to bwc2221 to decide” whether or not he gets to defame me. You may think this is a game, but like I said, you had an hour to remove his defamatory information, and you refused. I guess I’m going to have to take you to court. I take defamation very seriously and pursue it. See ya in court. And have fun paying my attorney’s fees and yours. You have absolutely no legal leg to stand on here. Did I mention I’m an attorney who practices, among other things, First Amendment law? Here’s a tip: the First Amendment does not protect defamatory speech. Good luck. I made a simple request. Being the obviously inadequate and insecure person you indicate you are, you responded with insults and obscenities because I dared tell the truth about your empty idol, Sarah Palin. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. And if you can’t remove defamatory information per a demand letter, you won’t be staying out of court. I’ve taken screen shots of the defamatory comments, and they remain up. If they remain up and you haven’t posted a retraction in a prominent spot on FR when I’m done with my federal complaint, I will file it. Get a lawyer.""
FailBlog
Since starting her fail blog, Debbie claims "if she were President, Debbie Schlussel would be Babe-raham Lincoln." Unfortunately, this is to due to the many fat girl angle shots she's posted on her website. Actual photos will destroy your soul.
On her blog, Debbie engages her readers by making their fucking heads explode by the insanity she posts. Some highlights are:
- claiming Oprah is racist against white dogs because People wrote about Labradors being less popular than other dogs
- claiming to be in Mensa
- noting that wearing a bodysuit is equal to being a terrorist
- wearing a scarf means you want to do 9/11 again
Jewtube
Go to 6:00 to see Debbie get pwned by Bill Maher.
Pretty much what happens when you go to her blog.
