ED5
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Let's take a moment to look back in anger at all ED's had to offer the world.
Then we'll sing a birthday song, enjoy some delicious caek, and watch as ED opens its presents.
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Birth
Encyclopedia Dramatica was conceived December 8-10th 2004 while girlvinyl was impatiently awaiting the delivery of her new ibook. ghettofinger and girlvinyl were outraged and amused at the ill-treatment of internet celebrity jameth by the moderators and nerds at wikipedia.
Girlvinyl decided it was time to present an alternative to the fascist hold they had over information on the internets. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal. Creation of the project was swift and is under constant development. December 10th marked the inaugural install and first operational night of Encyclopedia Dramatica. The world hasn't been the same since. Millions have now learned just how serious business the internet is.
Timeline
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2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 -
2008 -
2009
| Timeline of Events | |||||||||
| 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | ||||
| [+] | [+] | [+] | [+] | [+] | [+] | ||||
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
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ED5 was another miserable, shitty year filled with plenty of drama and AIDS. Americunts re-elected a literal chimp, W and a few MMOs launched that destroyed millions of lives.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
Events
- Justin Timberlake flashed Janet Jackson's tit at the Super Bowl.
- George W. Bush stole the election and John Kerry, Green Day, Hollywood, and other leftards took it in the ass.
- Ronald Reagan became worm food; before his corpse had cooled, this was already being used to troll American Conservatives.
- EA pwnt ESPN by obtaining the exclusive rights to all NFL & Players Association licenses.
- William Shatner released some kind of album.
- Livecorpse becomes an hero, sparking massive drama on Newgrounds
- EverQuest II and World of Warcraft were released.
- Shit bands Creed, Phish, and Eve6 each did the world a favor.
- Kebab scum in Russia hold up a school in Beslan and make Columbine look like a fucking joke, by killing nearly 400 Slavs.
- The Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal, during the American-initiated War of Terror leaks to the public, severely damaging the approval rating of the war, similar to how the My Lai massacre of Vietnam worked out.
- YTMND opens its doors, unfunny flows like wine.
- To counteract the unfunny, Encyclopedia Dramatica has its first operational night in December, and the news and Internets were to never be the same again.
- Edd Gould, makes the first episode of what would later become his career
- Dimebag Darrell was murdered on stage.
- Chris Hansen begins trolling pedophiles when he starts to produce To Catch A Predator.
- Web 2.0 begins to emerge, as technology and internet speed become strong enough to support video and livestreaming capabilities en-mass.
- Mark Zuckerberg✡ releases Failbook, stealing the work of his teammates and eventually becoming a billionare from FB.
- An earthquake in the Indian Ocean pwns over 200,000 noobs.
Gallery
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The nipple that launched 1000 FCC complaints. -
Fumbling more than the election. -
A literal monkey reigns over Dumbfuckistan for another 4 years. -
WoW, responsible for destroying millions of Millennial lives. -
TCAP was the best show of the year. -
Blockland came out in ED5. -
As did Half Life 2 -
And GTA SA -
ED came out in ED5; the best thing to happen for Web 2.0 -
An accurate summary of ED5
See Also
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2003 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2005 |
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
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Old, outdated crap. ED5 is long obsolete, but is the year in which the internet started to shift into Web 2.0. According to NBC, Gwen Stefani's Holla Back Girl is the number one song of ED5, making ED5 the Year of Shit Music, again. W continues second reign over Murrika after votes were baleeted, thus proving niggerdom was soon to come.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
Events
- Hurricane Katrina pwns Nawlins.
- Super Columbine Massacre RPG comes out on the 6th anniversary of Columbine. Despite being a shitty game, causes extreme amounts of butthurt and lulz.
- The last year that Newgrounds was good at all.
- YTMND is still relevant.
- Shitty, Overrated MMOs like World of Warcraft and Maplestory finally kick off this year despite existing shortly before. Dozens of millions of lives are destroyed.
- YouTube comes out and lasts a year before Google buys it out and ruins it in the greatest instance of Eternal September in ... eternity.
- Jeff Weise shoots up his school. Plenty died, but only one victim (the teacher) was white; the media spends 5 seconds on the story before everyone moves on. He then later commits an hero.
- Some asshole named Leeroy Jenkins fucks up the raid on World of Warcraft.
- SheezyArt bans adult art. FurAffinity goes online.
- Saddam Hussein goes to trial.
- Some guy smashes his little brother's GameCube. Prank of the year.
- Some building in Spain burns up while being renovated, similar to one in Pennsylvania in 1991.
Numerous shitty memes from this year include Chuck Norris, The Million Dollar Homepage, Back Dorm Boys, George Bush doesn't care about black people, Loose Change, Tom Cruise going apeshit on Opera, that retarded Batman meme, etc.. And the list goes on...
Joseph Evers
—Joseph Evers, Gentleman & scholar. | ||
Stumbling out of the desert after a month-long ayahuasca binge, and having discovered the ancient secret of health, wealth, and self, he set his sights to ED—and brings the much-needed loyalty to lulz that has sustained ED through these six long years. Oh, and deep pockets.
See Also
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2004 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2006 |
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
|
ED5 was a good year for drama. Democrats won the House and the Senate, only to see their one seat majority die of a heart attack before the power kicked in yo. Loose Change creators released another batshit video, and all while the machine of IRL worked, drama was occurring all throughout the internets, which we now know are a series of tubes. It was the designated the International Asperger's Year (seriously) commemorating the 100th anniversary of the birth of Dr. Hans Asperger, discoverer of Asperger's Syndrome.
The most important thing to remember before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
Sheneequa's throwback to ED5.
Events
January
- Bantownians claim to hijack more than 900,000 LiveJournal accounts.
- The "OH SHIT WE'RE SCREWED!" Era comes to an end.
- Madrigalskylark "goes nuts"
- thoseskinnygirls founded
- Ebaumsworld attacked by YTMND for image theft. You can guess who won.
February
- Jakejekyll is down with the clowns. In hell.
- Crazayjillay popped out a baby.
- Djfox left forever.
- Futuristic Sex Robotz released album Hotel Coral Essex. You have likely never heard of them.
March
- Delete fucking everything becomes known after Jacknstock, Banaan, and Bastardman delete a slew of articles before quitting ED forever.
- Cosplayfucks reached 1000 members again.
- Meatspin.com sold on eBay.
- David Shadle charged with first-degree murder.
April
- Dwarlinggirlxcore, a girl calling herself the lesbian lover of Harry Potter's Emma Watson causes plenty of lulz on ED.
- Mitchell Henderson gets his iPod stolen, and shoots himself in the head. Thus, he is the ED5 Golden iPod recipient.
May
- LJ mommies go batshit-insane when LJ Abuse tell them they cannot have breastfeeding default icons.
- A teacher calls a student "nigga" and sparks a massive political debacle
- Get away from the door, niggaa
June
- ED's 3000th Article is created.
- Andrewpants, the guy who fucked Mediacrat and lived to tell about it parties too hard and dies in the bay area.
- Christopher Walken first recorded use of powerwords.
- National Emo Kid Beatdown Day
- Jacknstock blocks Girlvinyl's husband, Rubberduc, over a World of Warcraft edit. Jacknstock eventually gets raped up the ass in return for his butthurt and unfair use of his admin abilities.
- Protect fucking everything becomes known. A few days after Jacknstock is blocked and his admin powers stripped away, a vandal pagemoves hundreds of pages. All 3000 pages of ED were set to be page-move protected when Krade finds out how to remove the ability for regular users to move pages by setting
$wgGroupPermissions['user']['move'] = false.
- The founder of Purple PJs decides to go batshit crazy.
- Put shoe on head becomes known.
- ED's trademark rainbow blinkies are used to make fun of Jacknstock for being fired.
July
- ED's 16-year-old girl article becomes first page to reach 100, 000 page views.
- Dollfie becomes known.
- ED IRC is created.
- A bunch of asspie 13-year-olds go insane when they see that ED joked about the Beatles!
- MONGO, a Wikipedia admin, goes ballistic when a screencap of ED's main page is uploaded to TOW, and repeatedly vandalizes ED.
- ED hosts the P-p-p-powerbook tale.
- Tawneelynne provides many n00dz and lulz for the whole LJ community.
- The Great Habbo Raid of July ED5 occurs; hundreds of /b/tards, and one shitty socializing site collide
- Zany antics ensue when Hezbollah trolls Israel.
- Zenofeller tries to make his own ED by stealing content from us and Uncyclopedia. Sounds awfully familiar.
August
- /b/-day ED5 occurs.
- Culturalbaggage sees his three line "article" and legally threatens ED. Tfo then expands his article to what it is now and culturalbaggage quits before he gets any further behind.
- Funnelgirl becomes known.
- Littlefag becomes the self-proclaimed King of Trolls and fails horribly.
- Vincent Margera gets arrested after feeling up some 12 year old girl boobs.
- Tfo and Nets troll their own kind all over LiveJournal.
- Malerymalamute fucked some dogs and enjoyed it.
- John Mark Karr, a pedo schoolteacher who "came out" in style in ED5 to admitting to the 1996 murder-rape of a 6-year-old "beauty queen" that he didn't do. Why? Pretty much for the lulz. His journey including a l337 ride home from Bangkok on the Party Jet.
September
- DannyRose rapes a paraplegic fox-child.
- Duke Otterland, an autistic furry who gets pissed off about his ED article, documenting the Duke's daring exploits. Lulz ensue.
- Facebook implements a new stalking feature that had college students up in arms. Nowadays, everybody uses it.
- Hans Reiser trolled wife to death.
- Kimveer Gill goes for the high score; only managing 1 kill.
- Lonelygirl15 exposed as a fraud; she gets even more subscribers than before.
- Lulzcon is hosted on September 29 and some Dramacrats got together.
- RFJason Craigslist Experiment brought ED's pagerank up to 1200 and got mentioned on countless blogs, newspapers, and even MSNBC.
- Rob Levin becomes known.
- Girlvinyl makes a false site with a petition to shut down Encyclopedia Dramatica. Many furries and wikipedophiles fall for it.
- Steve Irwin is stabbed to death by a stingray tail, through his heart.
- Ted Stevens proposes his idea that the Internets are a series of tubes.
October
- Borat, a troll of epic proportions including lawlsuits from two countries and - so far - three of his movie's "victims".
- Chasethehedgehog, a very talented artist finds a spot in the top 10% of DeviantART.
- Cyclotouriste, amazing, but lonely, biker/prophet looking for some poon.
- DJ Skeptik protracted an edit-war with a shitty musician.
- ED's 4000th article is created.
- LNN is born.
- Jake Brahm gets busted for threatening football.
- Mark Foley is on the prowl.
- Australians rape a retarded girl, record it, publish it, and get arrested.
- Ultraviolet News Network is born.
- OldDirtyBtard coins the term, "EDiot" in #ed.
- Nikki Catsouras becomes high on cocaine and drives a Porsche 911, she later got BTFO.
November
- Buzzboard becomes known.
- PeppermintPatti becomes known after an incident involving McDonalds.
- YouTube Street Team becomes known.
- Argent009, a weirdo with a dragon fetish threatens assault, murder, e-lawsuits, FBI investigations and ends up looking stupid.
- Gay God becomes known.
- Kramer warns audience about presence of niggers and is unfairly reprimanded by the old media ogliarchy.
- Ted Haggard, a conservative Evangelist turns out to be the raging crystal queen.
- OJ Simpson announces he's signed a mega-buck deal with Rupert Murdoch's Random House Books for a book about the murder of his wife and her lover entitled "If I Did It; Here's How It Happened."
- Djdlikesxbox, a Boy who tries to pick up a chick on an IRC channel. He's not allowed on the computer anymore, for obvious reasons.
December
- Bravesgirl5 gets trolled off of YouTube and MySpace.
- Crossmack becomes known.
- Michael J. Fox will never be thought of as a decent human being, because of his Parkinson's.
- MONGO quits Wikipedia forever. Or at least until next week.
- YouTube Civil War trolls harness THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION.
- Hal Turner get ruined.
- Saddam Hussein is hanged.
Gallery
See Also
| |||
[Open the Records]
|
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2005 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2007 |
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
|
ED5, Microsoft's patch for the faulty 2006, has been proven to be just as buggy as the last year. Notable for being the climax of meme-faggotry, producing several lulzy memes this year.
ED5 is also the year when the iPhone and The Big Bang Theory came out and therefore women discover video games and the internets for the first time, beginning third-wave feminism's start of ruining what was nice.
Some end users were tazed. Some gained sexual attractions Ebon Lupus, children, and even cartoon mice. Others were arrested for being pedophiles, and for not taking a seat right over there. Some flew off the handle and killed themselves. Many even died from bullet related injuries. Yes, this glitchy release has caused vans to explode off of their frames, monolithic meeting places to disappear, and all the beautiful women either died or were given worse fates. Leading scientists have traced these errors to an optional feature known to cause unpleasant side effects.
ED5 has proved itself to be as terrible as the old 06 model. Luckily, we are quite certain that life will be improved drastically as soon as 2008 comes out, hopefully in time for Christmas.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
EDiots look back to ED5.
Events
January
- Andrew Erickson gets busted for child porn.
- Duke Otterland gets ruined.
- Firedarkdragon gets raped.
- The Great Sonic-cide of ED5 occurs.
- Greg Solomon vs. Renetto bullshit occurs.
- Hal Turner clais victory over Anonymous.
- Knuffy becomes known.
- Lulzcast is born; the first episode in the entire series is released.
- Sektie drama occurs involving Girlvinyl.
- TheRedSkull starts to wear a mask as he tries to escape from renetto's debt collectors.
- Microsoft releases Windows Vista, a buggy piece of shit that led people to stay on Windows XP.
February
- 7chan is shut down from lack of Jew gold.
- Anna Nicole Smith dies from a drug overdose.
- Audreynoland becomes known.
- Filthywhore sucks dick for money.
- Lostpedia drama ensues. Involves Wattage, a former ED sysop from .com.
- The front page redesigned by Blu Aardvark.
- Mass exodus of many butthurt pussies to LiveVideo.
- My Immortal began its filming.
- Realm-Of-The-Shadows is born.
- Tumbles the Stairdragon becomes known.
- Warbears gets its shit ruined.
- Youtube Vigilantes head CircaRigel and Irish282.
March
- TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL becomes known.
- CaseyNunez becomes known.
- Chevy the Therapy Dog is murdered, and causes much drama on the Internets.
- Daxflame gets in a piss fight.
- Essjay is exposed as a fraud.
- The Great /B/lackout occurs.
- The Great Re/b/oot occurs and /b/ is no longer forced anon!
- Kenneth Eng writes a racist column about niggers, is pwned by everyone.
- Max day occurs for the first time.
- Michael Crook apologizes to the internets.
- Poeticirony mongles her dog.
April
- Ben Vodden becomes known.
- Tay Zonday left trying to recapture his glory days after briefly being King of the Internet.
- Computer Science III meme is born.
- Fatferaligatr is discovered.
- Kurtbatz
- Micha Armstrong becomes known.
- Rickroll phenomena gains notoriety.
- Todd Goldman
- Virginia Tech Massacre occurs.
May
- The Great Livejournal Strikethrough of ED5 occurs.
- My Immortal movie is finished and published.
- Pigslop dies.
June
- BLANKING IN PROGRESS becomes more infamous.
- Chris Benoit experiences steroid-induced rage.
- Dustin Diamond sex tape is found.
- Dying alone meme becomes popular.
- Johnnyr becomes known.
- Madeleine McCann is murdered by her parents.
- Shadowfox118 becomes known.
- SokiTwopaw becomes known.
- Synnergy drama becomes known.
- TheAmazingAtheist starts his YouTube career.
- Tyler Dumstorf kills a couple of cops.
July
- Darkfox becomes known.
- Fox 11 depicted Anonymous as a gang of domestic terrorists on a news broadcast.
- GoddessMillenia becomes known.
- The Great Habbo Raid of July ED5 occurs. There is more drama this time than during The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006.
- Harry Potter's The Great Deathly Hallows IRL Raid of ED5 occurs.
- InflatibleWolfi becomes known.
- Mary Moon becomes a camwhore.
- Sonic CulT gets taken down for hosting 7chan's /b/ section with rumored child porn.
- xxPrincessPunkxx
August
- 2girls1cup becomes ED5's Funnelgirl.
- Aeverine Nieves becomes known over a dispute relating to DMCA.
- AngelofthyNight is exposed as an internet tough guy.
- The Anti-ED-Club is shut down.
- BitingBeaver becomes known.
- Applemilk1988 gets e-raped.
- HellionExciter gets pwned by ED... again.
- LittleCloud becomes known.
- Michelle Madigan goes to DEFCON ED5 undercover.
- Minneapolis Bridge Collapse.
- Owen Wilson attempts to kill himself.
- WHEN I WAS becomes known.
September
- Britney Spears inadvertently launches a career of Chris Crocker, an attention-whore trap.
- Don't taze me bro becomes known.
- East High School Salt Lake City rape case occurs.
- KCFireplug becomes known.
- Lulzcon ED5 occurs.
- Trey Burba threatens to blow up his school on September 11th.
- Vanessa Hudgens' nudes are spread.
October
serious says: if we sleep that is ;)
[email protected] says: true
[email protected] says: cause we would have sex every night
- Asa Coon enters a school and shoots 4 people; nobody dies, and he becomes an hero.
- Chris Forcand becomes known for pedophilia.
- Chris-chan rises in notoriety.
- Cryptokids try to turn your kids not only into furries but also into the man.
- Douglas L Payne Jr becomes known for pedophilia.
- Ernest Peters becomes known.
- Kendricks Redtail becomes known due to drama.
- NCC becomes more pupular.
- SFW Porn is invented. Considered to be this year's greatest invention.
- Swirl face meme becomes known.
November
- Anuebunnie becomes known.
- Battletoads GameStop raid occurs.
- Clementine Gaiafags learn to troll.
- Evel Knievel dies.
- Sean Taylor meets his end.
- Jeff Gerstmann gets fired from Gamespot for giving a bad review to a shitty game.
- Jenkem explodes all over old media after a sheriff's department ripped off our article.
- Pekka-Eric Auvinen ends up with a better kill ratio than The Blzn Azn.
- Pull Your Pants Up becomes known.
- Yinepusayi is discovered.
December
- 4chan was hacked for the very lulz of it, and /b/tards flocked to every other chan for safe haven.
- Andrew Greissman steals a bust of Martin Luther King from a library.
- Anonymuncule gives EDiots their very own imageboard.
- Benazir Bhutto is assassinated.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica is three years old.
- GoddessMine becomes a "bottom" after Anonymous gives her 40 lashes.
- Google censors the Megan Meier and Matthew Murray articles.
- Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears' teenage sister, has an immaculate conception.
- Jarrad Willis, an Aussie /b/tard gets v& for creating false beliefs.
- NinjaWeasel becomes known.
- Nghtmrchld26 channels Smeagol.
- Robert Hawkins becomes known.
- Smugfag becomes known.
- SnowVhite becomes known.
- The Great LiveJournal Buyout of ED5 occurs.
- Tatiana the Tiger eats Carlos Sousa Jr to death for Christmas.
- To Catch A Predator comes to an end after 3 years.
See Also
| |||
[Open the Records]
|
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2006 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2008 |
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
|
Most everyone would rather forget ED5 altogether and ED is no exception. Between all the unfunny and shit hitting the fan IRL, however, were plenty of lulz, drama and Internets to keep the snugglenet grinning like a batshit crazy Joker. There are 8,000,000 stories in the virtual city; these are just some of them.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
EDiots look back on ED5.
Expected Events
These are a list of events people expected to happen, but miraculously, didn't.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica dies.
- Miley Cyrus nude.
- W burns the Constitution on live television.
- W gets "elected" for a third term in office.
- Orgies at the Olympic Village + Xtube.
- Death and terrorism at the Olympic Games.
- China wins all the gold.
- China's gold medals turn out to be Jew Gold. Lulz ensue.
- More girls, more cups.
- Merriam Webster adopts one of these as word of the year.
- Caturday Nap, the Second Coming.
- The first dong of ED5 will be posted.
- Catnarok
- Large Hadron Collider fucks up. Much lulz ensue.
- INTERNET HATE MACHINE 3
- Scientology will perish.
Events
January
- Heath Ledger becomes an hero.
- Carlos Sousa Jr gets chewed up by a lion.
- Ron Paul becomes known when he runs for president.
- Project Chanology is born; Anonymous declares war on the "Church" of Scientology after they try fucking with original content on YouTube.
- Mrfetch declares War on Anonymous.
- Jawsus becomes known.
February
- Chanology's February 10th Protest is created.
- LILSHOWSTOPPA gains notoriety.
- r9gay gains notoriety.
- 4chan adds some new boards.
March
- The Ides of March become known.
- Super Smash Bros. Brawl becomes known after millions of fanboys bawwwww when they find out Krystal, Geno, Ridley, Megaman, Ashley, and Mudkip are not included in the game.
- The Marcab Confederacy becomes known.
- SUPERCOOLWILLOW sings for Anonymous.
- The Great Livejournal Content Strike of ED5 occurs.
- Codey Porter becomes s& hero.
- Gemma Anscomb shows the world her lack of judgement.
- Billoon45 becomes known and displays his love for latex.
- EQ2Flames gains notoriety.
- Hagger becomes an hero.
April
- Operation Reconnect is born.
- An hero day is celebrated on the 20th.
- Operation LIONCASH becomes known.
- The ED5 Summer Olympics in Beijing is hosted.
May
- Wikipedia creates an article on ED.
- Operation Fairgame:Stop is executed.
- Dongcopter meme is born.
- Anabelle Lotus dies.
- Adam Savage becomes known on MythBusters.
- Age of Conan, a shitty MMORPG, is born.
- Grawp becomes known.
- Kirtaner gets SWATed.
- Crystal Shinkle gains notoriety; claims she has been raped in a desperate YouTube video.
June
- Operation Sea Arrrgh is executed.
- THUNDERDOME becomes known.
- 4chan.js is created; many /b/tards, unaware of the malicious code contained inside the file, download it and open it on their computers. Lulz ensues.
- Old /b/ Day is celebrated.
- DisneyFan01 gets hacked.
July
- Mary Alice Altorfer gets trolled hard.
- Chanocalypse Naow occurs.
- Operation Spy vs. Sci: License to Lulz is executed.
- Daniele Fiorenza becomes known.
- Shamwow is born; broadcasted all across Americunt and stirred up several memes and parodies on the Internet.
August
- Chris-chan returns to YouTube with a new saga of videos.
- The LOLympic Games occur.
- Soulja Boy rises in notoriety.
- Sceptre, Wikipedia's "Anti-ED poster child" is banned from Wikipedia for sockpuppet abuse.
- Dorian Thorn rises in notoriety.
- Guise saves ED with his Jew Gold.
- Tank rush on South Ossetia occurs.
September
- Spore is born. Turned out to be shit, with loads of people asking for refunds.
- EQ2Flames drama occurs; the admin, "LFG", comes clean about his meth addiction.
- Joshua Nimm tries to recreate a suicide from Halo and dies for the lulz.
- ByAppointmentTo wins ED's annual "Kettle is a Nigger" award for his valuable contributions o ED.
- Large Hadron Collider is created.
- [email protected], Sarah Palin's email is hacked.
- Oprah says the infamous line "over 9000 penises".
- Mr. Saari goes postal on 10 people at his college and become's Finland's new champion, beating previous record-holder Pecker
October
- Bailout Plan becomes known.
- OJ Simpson finally goes down in flames on the tenth anniversary of his acquittal.
- MTV gets rick-rolled by Anonymous.
- Forumwarz Episode 2 is born.
- Losttrap attempts to persuade Anonymous into sending him unmarked estrogen.
November
- Brandon Crisp becomes an hero.
- Saint Hill becomes known.
- Candyjunkie dies due to steroid overdose.
- Emo Cutter Girl becomes known.
- Epic Sword Guy trolls Scientology.
- Senator Barack Hussein Obama is appointed President of Americunt.
- DBoyWheeler flounces from DeviantART after being constructively criticized over his artwork.
- Ellie becomes known for being ugly as fuck.
- Aeverine Nieves gets butthurt over her article and threatens to run for the "ED administration election", which of course, doesn't exist.
December
- Sky Bilchuk learns that if you wish to remain anonymous on the Internet, you shouldn't post your personal information on /b/.
- Blagogate becomes known.
- Operation Antfuck is executed by Anonymous.
- W resigns. This is marked as a turning point in U.S. history where the economy is slowly beginning to rebuild itself.
- JuggaletteJenny has a mid-life crisis of epic proportions for all the Internet to see when he becomes a tranny.
- Encyclopedia Dramatica Wins The 2nd Annual Open Web Awards.
- 3Guys1Hammer is born.
- 1guy1jar video is published; added to many shock sites and eventually ends up on ED as .gif images.
- Satan Claus meme is created.
- An Negro meme is born.
Gallery
See Also
| |||
[Open the Records]
|
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2007 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2009 |
| ED5 is part of a series on Time | |||||||||||||
|
ED5 has been yet another banner year that has blessed us with some of the more notable internet happenings that you have come to expect from this wonderful medium that we choose to exploit and use. The usual gang of internet nerds, retards, and angry mobsters have outdone themselves once again and have made ED5 an unexpectedly grand year in lulz. Folks like crusader cat have offered us a chance to brighten our days with laughter, while memes such as Zalgo have given us a pause where we might reflect upon the fact that this internet thing is quite silly, and finally, the Dan Lirette story taught us that babies only die when you kick them in the head.
But that's not all—ED5 showed us the softer side of the internet as well. Heartwarming tales such as Kenny Glenn, Cheyenne Cherry, Camille Marino, DracoGuard, and Esachasa displayed mankind's ever-open heart, sympathy, and his ability to show compassion for his fellow animals.
And that's not all! Encyclopedia Dramatica also showcased several misfortunes that senselessly deprived us of our beloved entertainers. Massive buttgrief and sorrow was expended upon the deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, and Ted Kennedy.
There have been some good irl trolls as well, the biggest being Tony48219, but let's not forget the most spectacular troll of all: the fact that Encyclopedia Dramatica turned 5 this year despite all of its detractors, skeptics, haters, and doubters. During the festivities P-p-p-powerbook! won the contest for best article ever, upsetting Chris-chan. And on top of all of this internet hoopla, ED got its own forum, which would make it a tradition to destroy itself once a week.
Once again, the most important thing to know before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in the state of Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.
EDiots look back on ED5.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
Events
January
- Agent Pubeit covers himself in pubic hair.
- Boxxy takes over the Internets.
- EXTREME ANIMALS becomes known.
- Faggot Bruce YouTube career starts.
- Jett Travolta dies.
- Mark Gormley teaches us all about the powerstance.
- Nancy Pelosi does a rickroll.
- Rod Blagojevich gets impeached and removed from being the governor of Illinois.
- The Dangerous Pictures Act comes into force on the 26th of this month; bricks are shat by many Britfags.
February
- Dan144x becomes known.
- ED is upgraded from Web 1.0 to Web 2.5. The entire site was-read only for about 1 day.
- God Hates Fags is banned from the U.K.
- Kenny Glenn is doxed and arrested for abusing a cat.
- Octomom is born; a website that begs for money.
- Superbowl XXX occured. A Comcast employee decided that the game could use an "additive" to spice it up. Can you guess what it was?
- Tabula Rasa is shut down.
- Travis the Killer Chimp becomes known.
- Vince Offer beats up a hooker in Miami for trying to bite his tongue out.
- Xzibit throws a tantrum on Twitter.
March
- Brittany Holechko becomes known after crying on Skype.
- Egg Girl, /b/'s newest camwhore, becomes known. She posts eggs instead of her tits.
- Get On IRC Fgt meme is born; ED opens up the "kiddie pool" on the ED IRC server.
- Girugamesh is born.
- Jade Goody dies.
- John Katehis becomes known.
- Josef Fritzl is sentenced to life in prison.
- Louise Ogborn becomes known after a security-cam video of her sucking cock in McDonalds surfaces on 4chan.
- Sirtom93 attempts to set his school up in flames, only to get on the party van.
- PIFTS.EXE becomes known; many Norton product users have been discovering a file called
Norton_PIFTS 3-9-ED5 19h29m27s.txtsitting in their computer'sC:\tempfolder. - Space Bat becomes known.
- Watchmen is released.
April
- Angry Homo Kid becomes known.
- Columbine's 10th anniversary.
- Dick Neck becomes known.
- Pig Flu becomes known. Like AIDS, the Pig Flu was probably invented by the Jewish Secret Service to scare you.
- The Hipster Grifter becomes known.
- The R Word is a thing these days. Both online and IRL.
- This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring becomes known; /b/ decides to wage war against those annoying telemarketers.
- Tony48219 (
Tony48219) kills fellow YouTuber AsiaMcGowan after an e-argument. - Tubcat dies.
- Zalgo i̦̼̻ͣͥ̕s̤͚̺̻̻̮̭̆ ͤ̂҉͚̭̪̘̣͍̙c̴͙̃̐ͣͨ̈́ô͍͈̜̣̺̎̃͌́ͅͅm͈̭͔̦̮̩͇̓̒̅̒̽͞iͦ̀n̲͈̝̹̺͕ͮğͯ͂ͫ ̫̭ͩ͠t̲̻̳̗͑o͆͑͌̿̔ ͟r͍̦͎̳͇͈̱̆̔ͦ̊ͭ͗̌u̼͒ͫ́̾̐ͨ͠i̥̩͙̖ͣͫ̂̄͛͌͘ṉ̬̀̌ͤͥ̓̍̑͜ ̥̥̠̦͇̹ͨ͛ͨ͗y͕̝̫͓̭͈͒ͨ̅͛̔ͅo̱̝̟̼̺̻ͨͨ͗̌͝u̙̜ͬͪr͙̗̪̟͔̞̭͒ ͇͕̬̝̃̓͒̏̽͘ͅͅt̨̹̟͍̫e̫̲̯̒ẍ̪͖̑́̓̏t̺̹ͪͯ̉ͮ̎s͌ͬ̓̃ ̟ͯͨ̃̀ͬ̚̚̕a̟̞͚̮̻ͮ̿́̋̅̂̚͢n͉̈́d͎͉́̇ͯ̊ͣ͗ ̡̝̘̯͙͚͍̔͊̈̍ͨb̹̱͈̦͓̲͒ͩͤ̆ͭͯ̆l̔a̅ͣ͝cͣ̄ͭk̠̞ę̝̖̫̦̗͛́͂̉ṋ̥̓̀ ̗̱͎͕̉̅̂̀ͩ͒ͫu͙͖̱͚ͥ̉̓̓́́p̠̖̜̺̳͓̄ ̗͈̩̪̲͂̽͌͐͒͜y͚ͫͨ͗ͤo͚̜uͨ҉̻͉̫͉̬͚̯r̭̩̫͉̘ͪ̈́̃̀̋̈́́̚ ͮͤ͌̿ͬ̊̕p͈̥̰̖͒̍̊̉i̷̐̍͊̈̀̾́c̢͉̣͈͎̤s̳̤̱̲̜͍̍ͮͥ̚͡.̴͎̻͎̮͔́
- ED is mentioned in a leaked government document "ED5 Virginia Terrorism Threat Assessment" (on Slashdot).
May
- Creepy Chan gains notoriety.
- Dreamwidth is born.
- Mattmurderface attempts to take down ED.
- Operation YouTube is executed; several porn videos (tagged MarbleCake, Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, etc.) are uploaded to YouTube. Lulz ensue.
- The Dan Lirette Story is uncovered.
- Cracked article cites and quotes multiple ED articles as part of a review of of five wikis other than TOW. link
June
- 1guy1jar interview occurs.
- Beccah Beushausen fakes pregnancy and gets money.
- Brad McQuaid resurfaces on the Internets.
- Cheyenne Cherry kills her friend's cat and gets ruined by Anonymous.
- DracoGuard pisses off a bunch of people OTI and is exposed as a dog fucker.
- Drp1zza becomes known; later surfaces on EDF.
- Left 4 Dead 2 is boycotted.
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and BILLY MAYS all die
- TsimFuckis becomes known.
- WhatPort80 is created.
July
- A Clockwork Orange fucks with 4chan.
- AT&T Blocks 4chan
- Bug Chasing becomes known.
- Crimson-Silvrblood sues the Internet.
- Hypercube becomes known.
- Ricdic swindles the shit out of EVE Online.
- The Real Chris Chan emerges yet again...
August
- Creepy Phil gains notoriety.
- EDF1 is created.
- Liskula Cohen becomes known.
- Rootbrian becomes known.
- Ted Kennedy dies from brain cancer.
September
- Aion is released.
- Camille Marino kills her cat with a melon.
- Casual Friday invented on the EDF.
- Crusadercat fucked his cat.
- Imma Let You Finish meme is born.
- Operation Fatfuck occurs.
- Tammi Reynolds attempts to get ED shut down.
- Zaiger kicked off the site.
October
- Alexander Stern becomes known.
- Alyssa Bustamante murders her neighbor, claims she did it for the lulz.
- Balloon Boy becomes known.
- Brandon Hilton's manager quits his job as a manager after Hilton calls him a faggot.
- Evony becomes known.
- MyIDIsPhat gets v&.
- Obama wins the Most useless Nobel Peace Prize for no fucking reason.
- Pollfest occurs.
- Rifqa Bary runs away to Florida to escape her Muslim dad.
- Roman Polanski gets v& for being a pedo.
- TrollsOfTerror becomes known.
- The faggots at Microsoft shit out another operating system, Windows 7, to try to gain back trust from their users who suffered with Windows Vista.
November
- Ae-tan is born.
- Aeralik quits SOE due to his work being shitcanned by other developers.
- Ashley Towns apparently makes an iPhone virus.
- Deleriumschild becomes known.
- Desuchan is shut down.
- Fort Hood massacre occurs.
- LittleCloud becomes a tranny; FtM.
- New York Yankees swindle another world series; people suddenly care about baseball again.
- Superlisamcb is discovered.
- Teruchan is featured on ED.
December
- ED turns 5 years old.
- Amanda Knox gets sentenced to 26 years of lesbian prison sex on tape.
- Chanology Contest occurs.
- Frosty the Snowman troll occurs.
- P-p-p-powerbook! wins pollfest.
- Dustin Michaels chokes to death on weed.
- Portia Allen becomes the new queen of /b/.
- Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and loses his spunk in golf.
- Esachasa is crushed by BBWChan and burnt by EQ2Flames.
- December 31, 2009 marks the end of the 2000s, good fucking riddance, now we move to 2010.
Gallery
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Powerbook, staying classy. -
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Chans getting vanned for CP is always funny. -
Can you source this claim
See Also
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[Open the Records]
|
| Dramatic Years | ||
| Preceded by 2008 |
ED5 | Succeeded by 2010 |
| Featured article December 31, ED5 | ||
| Preceded by Chanology Contest |
ED5 | Succeeded by Food Not Bombs |
Time Machine
Holy shit! Somebody archived the archives!
ED's in your tubes, killing your news
In it's five short years of lulzitude and trollery, ED has managed to attention whore itself into the clutches of old media moar than once. Good thing their arthritis keeps them slow. See our stalkers here.
- Jimbo's love note
- Conservapeditard's take on ED Guess they missed this and these.
- Uncyclopedia Unfunny, but what do you expect from them?
- Uncyclopedia - second attempt. Getting warmer.
- Uncyclopedia - third time's a charm. Most likely written by an ex-sysop.
Birthday Cards
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Delicious caek
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Is that semen covering the cake? Looks like semen to me.
Astrological Chart
- Name: ED
- December 10 2004
- 12:00 PM Time Zone is PST
- San Francisco, CA
Rising Sign is in 09 Degrees Pisces Very sensitive to your surroundings, other people's feelings become your feelings. Try to avoid negative people because your tendency to empathize with them will make you negative also. A dreamer, you like to escape to a world of your own creation. As such, you are known for the vividness of your imagination and should try to share your inner visions with others. Very self-sacrificial by nature, beware of others becoming overly dependent on you or vice versa.
Sun is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius. Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, sitting at a keyboard shooping cocks for hours is very important to you. Quite gregarious, you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in. An avid reader, you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being homophobic, racist, anti-semitic and in general, very positive!
Moon is in 01 Degrees Sagittarius. An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject - so you can properly ridicule it. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity.
Mercury is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius. Your mind is very curious and inquisitive, always seeking information on a wide variety of topics. The broader the subject matter (philosophy, science, religion, metaphysics), the more it will appeal to you. You prefer to deal with abstractions -- the small but important details associated with any subject tend to slip your grasp. You are known for being blunt, honest and truthful.
Venus is in 22 Degrees Scorpio. Your feelings about others are deep, powerful, intense and complex. When you like someone, you do so totally and obsessively - if you do not like someone, they do not exist. Your faithfulness and loyalty to your lover is unquestioned, indeed at times it is too much so -- you get so possessive that you almost smother your partner. At times, your feelings are kept deep within you and, because they are so complex and intense, they frighten you -- this is the way that you try to ignore them. But the more you try to do this, the more explosive things get when you eventually do express them.
Mars is in 19 Degrees Scorpio. Your likes and dislikes are strong and intense, never casual or superficial. You are known for your persistence and willful obsession. Once you have decided on a course of action, you are unstoppable. Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul -- you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold.
Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Libra. You are generally good at balancing opinions and judging issues, but you tend to be indecisive when it comes to making up your own mind. You are objective and quite concerned with fair play and justice. But, when it comes to yourself, you are so aware that whatever you do might upset the apple cart that you often choose to compromise rather than do anything that might make you lonely or vulnerable. Relationships are very important to you -- you learn about yourself and grow through observing yourself interacting with others. Your æsthetic tastes are refined, but expansive and expensive.
Uranus is in 03 Degrees Pisces. You, and most of your peers, are extremely idealistic and want to change society by completely reorienting its highest religious goals and aspirations. Just be careful to make sure that your new goal structures are properly grounded in reality so that they have a chance of being accepted by the majority.You're Invited
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Also we totally accept presents.
You wouldn't show up to a 5 year old's birthday without presents, would you?
| Featured article December 8, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Amanda Knox |
ED5 | Succeeded by P-p-p-powerbook! |
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[Open the Records]
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