weev
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Andrew Alan Escher "weev" Auernheimer✡ ( weev rabite SUSPENDED!) smells of rotting turnips, yet incongruously claims that his turnips are ripe and fresh. He is one of those people that is extremely handsome, and has girl-killing powers, but doesn't realize it. Because of this, weev defaults to his comfort zone: being an introverted eDork. But that's A Good Thing™, since if this were not true, all of us fellow eDorks would have never had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. weev is a qualified attorney at lol, with a lol degree from distinguished Bann Towne University.
weev is also a very talented song-writer. weev is also God.
The Great Andrewpantsing of weev 2006
Weev was convinced to come to the Bay Area on his 21st birthday. This living document shall document his total and complete downfall. Starting with the first shot of whiskey and cocaine, all the way down to the failure of his second kidney and all of Bay Area Bantown dancing around his rotting corpse screaming "YHBTBBT."
Day 1: The Kidney-Liver Double Punch
Weev was immediately taken into custody by FBCM upon arrival in the Bay Area, put in an official LOLDONGS prisonwear and was dropped off at a 2600 meeting to compete in Hacker Olympics, where he was totally obliterated by a "your mom" joke. Not having his normal hugbox to hide in, Weev resorted to finding comfort in drugs and liquor. 10 hours later he selfruined on a couch and was not allowed to vomit in order to make sure that the FBCM secret blend of herbs and spices had time to work their magic.
Day 2: The Over Lolerdose
After releasing breakfast into the porcelean goddess, Weev was allowed some time in The Yard to see some of SF. This was done after injecting the prisoner with Ruin Juice and a lot of video gaming. Weev came too his senses around the AIDS Memorial Grove in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park and was immediately sent to the liquor store to create various Andrewpants drink concoctions. After getting anally raped by hippies in the Haight Street Cafeteria, Weev was confronted with a 13 year old fat girl with braces that made him go to see an All Pro Wrestling Event, where he fell in love with Cheerleader Melissa and had a total and complete Over Lolerdose upon seeing a GNAA Member in the ring. A video exists of this Over-Lolerdose, but it was removed from YouTube.
Day 3: Brainaphone Echos
Day 4: Ghettoing, Gassing, and More!
Day 5: Brad's Final Solution
Fursona
[01:33] <weev> what kind of furry bluefox are you? [01:33] <weev> i have a giant weevil costume [01:33] <weev> with fawn horns [01:33] <weev> to symbolize my malevolence
Reverend weev
In early 2009, weev had collected such a large group of followers that he has started his own church. His evangelical sermons were published every Sunday on his YouTube channel weevlos
Previous Video | Next Video |
ToorCon '06
Quotes
Weev and conspiracy of the Jews
After the feeble attempt by the Anti-Defamation League to troll Weev, and the subsequent shakedown by corporate thugs, he has since been financially unable to provide for himself of much needed Jew gold and his precious freedoms were taken by the Feds, denying him basic human rights and religious freedom. Fortunately, he is out on bail after being found guilty last Thursday, but under the condition of limited internets use and working for The Man. Despite employment, he is still in need of funding for his Attorney at lol. So instead of spending your precious Bitcoin on hookers and blow and the Assassination Market, you should donate them to his defense fund. That way, the original troll of trolls can bask in the cool breeze of freedom once more and the Lulz shall be had again.
-
Weev 9-11'ing.
Radio show
Recently, some lolcows at a liberal nigger hippie radio station gave weev a radio show on Sundays in the 3am-6am timeslot, where he trolled in hard mode and dropped some trolling music, while preaching the word of Raptor Jesus. He breached such lighthearted topics as abortion, Neocon greed, the evils of Liberalism, and the OCW movement. He made two broadcasts before he was banhammered for his unorthodox rhetoric that was interpreted by the radio station owners to be racist, which is an absurd insinuation and a claim which weev fervently denies. His first transmission can be watched on the Jewtube.
AT&T Hack and Imprisonment
In 2013 Weev was sentenced to 41 months in prison for embarrassing the fuck out of AT&T after posting email addresses for iPad users that they were storing on a publicly accessible website, and reporting the gaping hole of security to Gawker. Before he was sentenced, he did a livestream for his AMA on le rebbit. He is survived by his twitter account and stormfront membership. He appealed it, won and was released in 2014.
weev in Popular Culture
III: Life - The Biggest Troll (Andrew Auernheimer)
[Verse 1]
Man made the web, you don't need a name
Man made up thoughts, I ain't too ashamed
Every thought I had, put it in a box
Everybody see it just before the cops
Trolling, trolling, trolling these niggas
Rick Rolling these niggas, they mad cause they don't know any better
"Hold up, it's the kid, quick, tell him he can't sit with us"
Fuck it, got money, bought friends like I'm TBS
VVS, I can see it all with the clarity
Real-D, hope they dig a nigga before they fairy me
Even though, we were told to go where they wouldn't go
Hella slow, that's that dial up, watch it pile up
[Hook] X 4
Andrew Auernheimer
Pulling on her weave
It's that Andrew Auernheimer
[Verse 2]
We are the dreams of our parents lost in the future
Who hide the deepest desires and wear a mask like a lucha
Door open, we were smoking in the hotel
The vapors went through the hallway, the manager pissed as hell
I mean where's the line between Donnie G and Gambino?
He hang with girls like Lena, but needed some time to re up
Tequila in the cantina, 30 dollars I swallowed
The sauce was so malo then she said "you need to grow up
You been doing this for too long
That camp was a million years ago, sing me a different song"
Whether you're trolling or controlling, just a reminder
You think you get it, you don't, it's the Andrew Auernheimer
I'm gone - now I'm back
Give a fuck or give 'em hell, just not a chance to react
Tyler Durden this burden, hurtin', they said there was curtains
Certain demise, look in his eyes, the pain and the inverting
I could've stayed where I was and have a life you'd be proud of
But I'd rather chase things never thought of
It was all love, saying go hard
Making dope, it's a trap, Ackbar backfired
Panic dreams, so it seems we're meant to die
I had to figure it out, it's the best, no, that's a lie
Had to get some stuff off my chest, I vaporized
High on my own, it took time to realize
Because the internet mistakes it forever
But if we fuck up on this journey at least we're together
Man, I wish I could go back and tell that kid it's make-believe
Make 'em believe in themselves, people who needed my help
Feelings I felt, keeling myself
No one's ever been this lost
I just get the information retweeted or say it sucks
I just got the motivation, your talent's just a bunch of luck
Hard work and dedication, but lately it's run amok
Waking up in these places I don't remember
Texts from people I never met, doors left open
(Who are you? Don't do it. Who are you?)
I don't know who I am anymore
Still on the beat though
Still in the game, but he moves with a cheat code
Slowest connection ever, my life inside a computer
Them bands that'll make 'em dance, my wallet's Lollapalooza
The violence, first-person shooter
First person to move, first person to speak
My meals on me, they scream in the streets
Losing my frame of reference, these pieces are shit with breakfast
Funny the day you born that's really your death sentence
I met this girl at a dinner, we conversating
She beautiful in the face, but her voice is truly amazing
And plus she write her own shit, becoming so close knit
Smoke up and talking to eat, she helping me focus
No Anna Nicole Smith, she getting hers
Niggas taking props like a musical live and learn
She say she feel alone all the time, I'm similar
I meet her in my dreams on the moon, I visit her
Every night I text her I wanna solve the world, I think I need your help
She text me how you gon' trust somebody when you don't trust yourself?
I mean she right though, 45 like a light-bulb
And I could've died like my iPhone, but I kept going like a psycho
And I took chance like a dice roll, dropping jewels like it's puberty
Wrote a note on the glass, you see what these labels do to me
Texts said "I'm Wet", I said hold up, wait up a minute
H2O plus my D, that's the hood I'm living in
Never forget this feeling, never gonna reach a million
Eventually all my followers realize they don't need a meter
Stay on your own shit, fuck what these clones think
Just remember that you the shit, but act like it don't stink
We were childish but had to grow up
When you spitting real shit eventually you grow up
Realities like allergies, I'm afraid to go nuts
Life's the biggest troll but the joke is on us
Yeah, the joke's you showed up
[Outro]
You're here now. You have to help me
You have to help me
I need you. You have to help me
You have to help me
You have to help me
Please help me
Please help me
Please
Please help me
- Childish Gambino
See Also
External links
Weev is part of a series on Programming. [Enter the Matrix] | |
ADA • Assembly • C • C++ • COBOL • Debug • DOS • Erlang • Error • Fdisk • Fortran • Integer • Java • LOLCode • Machine Code • Matlab • MIRC Script • MUMPS • Open Source • Perl • PHP • Programming language • Python • QBASIC • Ruby on Rails • Scratch • SSH • Visual Basic
Firefox XPS IRC Attack • Safari XPS Attack • Sandworm
Bill Gates • Linus Torvalds • Weev • Goatse Security • Terry Davis • Theo de Raadt
Operating system • Warez • Notepad • Is not a bug, it's a feature • Database Error |
Weev is part of the iDrama Suite |
Encyclopedia Dramatica • LJDrama • Frienditto • Ghettoditto • Narcopolo • AudioLJ • Anonymuncule
Related People |
---|
Weev is part of a series on the Gay Nigger Association of America. | |
---|---|
|
Weev is part of a series on Security Faggots |
1337 h4x0rz Captain Crunch • Cult of the Dead Cow • David L. Smith • Gary McKinnon • GOBBLES • HD Moore • Jeff Moss • Kevin Mitnick • Lance M. Havok • Robert Morris • Theo de Raadt • weev • Woz
Try-Hards
2cash • AnonOps • Brian Salcedo • Fearnor • Fry Guy • Gadi Evron • g00ns • Hack This Site • Hacking Team • hann • Joanna Rutkowska • John Field • Joseph Camp • Lizard Squad • LulzSec • Mark Zuckerberg • MarshviperX • Masters of Deception • Michael Lynn • Krashed • Raven • r000t • Ryan • Steve Gibson • th3j35t3r • The Regime • Sabu • Zeekill
Related Shit
Avira • Ciscogate • Cloudflare • Conficker • CyberDefender • Defcon • The Gibson • The Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007 • Heartbleed • I GOT NORTON! • Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? • Operation Sundevil • PIFTS.exe • Social engineering • Stylometry • SubSeven • Zone-H |
---|
Weev |
|
Weev is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Weev is part of a series on Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article April 23 & 24, 2012 | ||
Preceded by Daniel Brandt |
Weev | Succeeded by w0rmer |
Featured article November 24 & 25, 2012 | ||
Preceded by Thanksgiving |
Weev | Succeeded by Subculture |
Featured article January 31 & February 1, 2014 | ||
Preceded by Hann |
Weev | Succeeded by The Dickriders |