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Islam: Difference between revisions

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Not to be confused with Terrorism (but definitely to be associated with it.)


Potentially Un-Islamic content.

Do you feel that the article Islam goes against the Sunnah
of the Prophet (ﷺ)? We are here to help! Please click here!


Proof that Islam is the religion of peace, and that Muhammad is the one true prophet.
Islam
Founded Long long ago, somewhere in Mecca
Central Figures AllahMuhammad
Outdated Fiction The Qur'anSunnah
(about Moha's bitching, fapping and killing.)
Places to Avoid Mecca, Saudi Arabia, Medina, Saudi Arabia Jerussalem, Palestine, Future Islamic Caliphate
Sects SunnisShits・Ibadis・Sufis・Ahmadiyyas
Retards 1.8 Billion
Muslim Children Pimp Islamic Ruler
Mansecks Muhammad.
Juhayman or Akadawa (Mohammed Bin Sultan Alqassimi) once captured in Mecca siege then bailed to Sharjah due to Riyadh mayor ties with Mossad.
OH SHIII---

ISISlam (Better known as: Terrorislam, Pisslam, Kebablam, Goat-Rapism, Suicide bombing and many other lulzy nicknames for it) is a cult followed by butthurt dirty, smelly, sand niggers as well as sweaty, stinky and angry shore niggers who had absolutely no idea of how to fit into the 8th century, let alone the 21st century. The niggers who are retarded enough to believe Islam are called Muslims, also known as Terrorists, Muz, Muzzies, Muztards, Mohammedans, Sandniggers, Haji's, Goat fuckers, Jew eradicators, Durka Durkas, Camel jockeys, Dune coons, False caucazoids, Foaming rags, Muzlamic freakazoids, Koranimals and The Kebab. Indons are the largest followers of Islam than any other country.

The terrorist organization was founded by a pedophile that called himself Prophet Muhammad (ﷺPBUAﷺﷺSUWA) (born April 20, 571 AD). After voices told Muhammad that his "religion" is a continuation of Judaism and Christianity and those who followed these outdated religions should be upgraded or pay a tax called "Jizzyah" to continue living as non-Muslims. Since he forgot about Zoroastrianism, he apparently thought that his religion was the third and final in the Abrahamic trilogy, and being the third, it is inevitably the most greatest of the three. in addition, as you would see in the Hajj pilgrimage on Mecca with everyone kissing the "black stone" that Abraham supposedly found, Islam is truly about the worship of an alien meteorite that crashed in this world which just happened to be found by Abraham. the religion has invaded many countries and civilize the shit of them before Liberalism and "Enlightenment" did.

Muslims base theie lives off a made-up 1k year old fairy tale book called Teh Qur'an, which is a slightly less lengthy version of Hitler's Bible. Islam is also distinct from Christianity and Judaism because it has its own system of mind control known as "Five Pillars": Allah and Muhammad, 5 Times Praying, Charity, Starving, and Worshipping a meaningless black meteor. All of which are considered obligatory for all Muslims because it is Allah's "will" to take advantage of anyone else when they pound their head into the earth five times a day and don't eat for one entire month.

In Islam, being a faggot and tranny, not covering their whole bodies for women, masturbating publicly, having sex outside marriage, eating and drinking haram foods and beverages, watching porn, and having other haram stuffs, you will be stoned to death, which are fucking cool and agreeable. Islam specialized in male suicide bombers, They are promised 72 virgins for their saintly death fighting the infidels, when vast majority of them arrives to hell, and to their surprise they are given 72 male virgins who will rape them throughout eternity. All women and children (called moving black objects because they dress like garbage bags, but hey at least they're better than sluts, right?) from these Mudslimes countries are either sold as sex slaves or sent to The UK and US to blow people up (but not if we blow them up first!). The men can marry numerous women, hence you can often stop a Muslim man with an infidel woman. Not only are Muslims terrorists and rapists, they are also pedophiles who marry eight year old girls. CP Trafficking is a legal, high-profit business amongst Arabs, which is rapidly on track to surpass their Catholic arch-rivals if it hasn’t already. Any Muslim girl can get raped at any age, because consent is always implied even if it is not necessary. Muhammad even married a 6-year-old girl and had sex with her when she was nine However, Islam may well be an honest continuation of God's word, that is if God is great, Whether by suicide bomb or an heroic murder spree, through making threatening phone calls or through biological, chemical, and/or nuclear terrorism, Islam is well-situated to trolling humanity (mainly Secularists, Nationalists, other "-ists", whole western society, and other man-made ideologies) to certain death.

Liberals such as Social Justice Warrriors claim that Islam is Arabic for "Peace" and therefore Islam literally means the "Religion of Peace" (even cuckservatives such as W believe in this shit) when in fact this is all wrong. Islam is directly translated to "submission", that is to the will of God. it just happened that the Arabic word "Islam" sounded like "al-salaam" which is the actual word for Peace, but for retarded liberals, they sounded the same and therefore just as good. This means they have to stand towards Mecca, kneel their head into the earth and point their arse to the sky, Then they must scream "Allahu Akbar!" and explode on the nearest Jew, Christian, Atheist, or other faggot no better than themselves so that they can go to Heaven and be rewarded with 720 virgin trannies.

In one of the most rage-inducing instances of getting triggered ever, Islam is also loved by Social Justice Warriors everywhere because it's "exotic", and that tickles their twats, when the religion is actually complete and total opposite of everything that liberalism stands for, and more closer to Traditional Christian values than liberalism. However, it doesn't matter because we all know Social Justice Warriors are masochists who have zero comprehension of logic and are enjoying the rape anyway, just ask Angela Merkel or anyone from Sweden.

When you hear the word "Allahu Akbar" you better run the fuck away as quickly as your ass can!

Muslim kindergarteners are taught to kidnap and murder you while you sleep

What Islam Stands For

Summed up
  • I - Ignition.
  • S - Slavery.
  • L - Lies.
  • A - Autism.
  • M - Murder.

Muhammad's "to do" list, c. 500 AD

  1. Raep teh loli
  2. Hide in cave
  3. Eat hash
  4. Wage war against teh Ignoramus pagans
  5. ???
  6. PROPHET!

How to be Muslim in easy steps

British Mujahideen soon to destroy America.
  1. Be a liberal who hates Western democracy but embraces capitalism
  2. Eat Döner Kebab
  3. Smash your head onto the floor
  4. Rape a goat oh wait, you will be killed for it.
  5. Rape a loli
  6. Rape a Swedish woman (or any European woman)
  7. Burn a Fag
  8. Strap a bomb to yourself
  9. Find the nearest infidel person that insulted your prophet
  10. ALLAHU AKBAR
  11. ???
  12. 72 VIRGINS!!!

History of "The Religion of Peace and Tolerance™"

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liberals vs muslims

Islam was founded when a barbarian asshole pedophile from Mecca named Muhammad was fleeing from Quraysh police when he was exposed by Ancient Sasanian Chris Hansen for his marriage to 9 years old Aisha binti Abu Bakr (this was normal back then!). While hiding in a cave and starving due to the false accusation, he somehow discovered Fanfiction.net and had the bright idea of entertaining himself by plagiarising two famous novel created by Jews and Christians known as the Torah and the Bible. He couldn't resist massive desire, putting overpowered idealized Gary Stu of himself being pals with Jesus who will inevitably join into Muhammad's myriad world of god-fearing fetishes such as obeying the law, patriarchal misogyny, and Jihad; His own take of crusade for anyone against him, especially "infidels" (called "Kafir" in Arabic language), a fancy way of saying non-Muslims.

Solitary isolation in his cave combined with reading too much bad fanfic eventually took a toll on his sanity and multiplied his autism by a millionfold, he became unable to discern fiction from reality like an Arabic version of Chris-chan and was convinced that a higher power was urging him to publish his badly plagiarised story known as the Qur'an for the entire world to read so that he can go to Heaven and rape 72 virgin Waifus. Proud of his literary masterpiece, Muhammad went to Medina, then-Jewish city, and attempted to seek sponsorship from the rich Jews there to publish his work but once the Jews realised that this was copypasted, they sued Muhammad for Copyright Infringement and permabanned him from Judaism forever. still, due to his Unwarranted Self-Importance, Like Chris-chan putting his archenemy Mary Lee Walsh in his fanfic as the primary villain, Muhammad instead blamed the Jews for all the butthurt he suffered in his failure of a life and cast them as the primary villains of the story who want to troll him into being forever alone and prevent him in his Love Quest, explaining why such a blatant ripoff of Judaism had become so full of Mein Kampf-level Anti-Semitism from then on.

One may expect such bad fanfiction to fail and should have been lost forever in the anals of history, but that's not the case, it created so much drama that it quickly became the centre of attention especially in the boring desert life of the Arabs. Numerous Furries took pity on the aspie and, in a shitstorm that can today be only observed on 4chan and Tumblr, overran Medina's Jewish demographic with forced memes such as "MUH JIHAD" and "MUH 72 VIRGINS" until they gassed the kikes to death by the sheer lethality of their combined blow out. After Medina was conquered to be Jew-free, Muhammad turned his attention to his other archenemy: the ruling Quraysh of Mecca who trolled him in the past. The Hijra, the start of the Muslim Calendar, was perhaps the greatest moment of Mass Sperging in Ancient History, as Muhammad and his legions of cock-sucking Arabs conquered and pillaged Mecca, smashed its Pagan idols, tortured and executed the Quraysh, and had complete free time with all the women, children and of course, the goats. Completing his conquest, he placed his own equivalent of a Sonichu medallion (which he claimed was a meteorite) onto Mecca's central house of worship, the Kaaba, and from now on made everybody in his community submit to it forever by smashing their head into the ground to make their brains get temporary Autism in emulation of Muhammad's. Thus Islam was born. As the religion spread, a bunch of Arabs built an astonishing raft in search of more retards to convert to Islam, these Arab visited the Malay Archipelago and taught the Malaysians the values of the religion, and now 1.8 billion faggots follow it.

Golden Age of Islam

The Gypjak Mosque in Turkmenistan, known for it's large Penises, it gives most Muslim's a powerful boner.
The Reza-Shrine in Iran, being the largest, is known-for it's high-tourism and attendance rate from Japanese People.

Even in the Middle East, history has nearly forgotten that Islam once had a Golden Age when they were millennia ahead of the batshit crazy God-fearing fucktards of Europe, until a necromancer named Wahhabi cast an evil spell on them that sent all their mojo out of Ottomanland forever. They didn't just drink water, they bred some of the finest "kif" (that's actually pot) and used opium and atropine to get people so thoroughly fucked up they did allow mad medieval scientists to do cataract surgery on them. They invented missiles, torpedoes, and manned rockets, ultimately culminating in the flying carpet, which was just the shit until the Wahhabis stole them all and flew them into buildings to put those druggie Sufi unbelievers back in their place.

In reality, every great country conquered by Islam went actually advanced, at least better than the current state of the "civilized" West, including Spain, Portugal, India, Iran, and Afghanistan.

Muslim world had greatly contributed to humanity, so Without Islam, then who the fuck invented scientific method and civilized the Europe in the first place, Atheists?

Varieties of Islam

Early on, Islam suffered a schism and sect divisions much in the same way that Christianity and 4chan did:

  • Sunnis: The True and honest as well orthodox Muslims who believe in Qur'an and Prophet's saying and acts called "Sunnah", hence the sect's name. also the largest sect of followers of the religion.
  • Shi'ites: Believe something that's stupid in a slightly different way and who mostly live in Iran. This all dates back to an edit war on Wikipedia sometimes in the 7th century, regarding whether Ali was notable enough to include in the article. According to some Sunnis, Shi'ites aren't Muslims, as the sect was founded by a Yemenite Jew, and it is notorious for its contact marriage, taqiyyah (which Christcucks and Apeists uses the term for refer Muslims as a whole for "lying and deceit"), having unhealthy obsession with Ali ibn Abu Thalib and Muhammad's family (called "Baww-lulz Bait") while hating most of Muhammad's buddies but Ali, Persian chauvinism, and many other nonsensical heretical shit that Sunnis don't have.
  • Ibadis: Descended from a sect that declared other kind of Muslims as "infidel" when disagreeing with them, otherwise it is same shit as Sunnis.
  • Sufists: Pulls together the pseudo-profundity of Buddhism and the OCDs and USIs of Islam to add, yet more items to the long-list of things that annoy Muslims.

Other Varieties and Related to Islam

  • Ahmadiyyah: Founded by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, some Pakistani puppet of British Empire, whose at end of his life, he died in a Toilet while taking a shit. followers of this sect believe there is a prophet and messenger after Muhammad, and they believe the founder is both appointed as Jesus and Mahdi. because of it, Sunnis declared them as Infidels.
  • Din-i Ilahi: Islam, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Christianity, and Jainism put into blender to creating it. was the state religion of Mughal Empire under Akbar the Great for a short period of time.
  • Baha'i Faith: Islam, Christianity, and Buddhism altogether put into Blender. because of their heresy, the followers of this faith are ironically being persecuted even in its birthplace lol.
  • Yazidism: Yazidis's ethnic religion. they worships the Sun like Shintos instead of the black cube in Mecca and have their own place of pilgrimage. Yazidists prays 5 times a day like regular Muslims, and their central figures revolves around God and 7 holy beings of angels.
  • Druze: The Ethnic religion of Arab Druzes and the bastard child of Shia Islam after having orgies with Ancient Greek Philosophical beliefs, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Zoroastrianism.

The Enlightened Way Muslims Treat Women

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Woman executed for driving a car or something.

Islamic Misbeliefs

Everything there is to know about Islamic Beliefs can be found on the VenomFangX Youtube Channel. Everything else is a lie and must be avoided.

   
 
Fight those who do not believe in Allah nor follow the religion of truth, until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of our superiority and they are in a state of subjugation.
 

 
 

— Qur'an, Sura 9:29

The Five Pillars of Islam

  1. Recognize Allah as the only God of the universe, and Muhammad as his last prophet and MSN messenger.
  2. Pray five times a day to Allah by bashing your head into the ground (causing mental retardation) and jamming your arse into someone else's face like a cow in heat.
  3. As Muslims are a slave to the religion and Allah, then pay a tax for the poor and need.
  4. Starve yourself until death at one special Islamic month.
  5. Go to Mecca and worship a black meteorite apparently sent by Allah.

Qur'an Verses

   
 
"O you who have believed, do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies. They are [in fact] allies of one another. And whoever is an ally to them among you - then indeed, he is [one] of them. Indeed, Allah guides not the wrongdoing people."
 

 
 

—Qur'an 5:51

   
 
"Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with. And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them first, if they persist, do not share their beds, but if they still persist, then discipline them gently. But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.
 

 
 

—Qur'an 4:34

About Muslims

Muslims (prounonced ˈmʌdˌslaɪm) are a funny type of people similar to Jawas, except that unlike the enlightened Jawas, they live according to a based religious tradition. Although many of them feel it gives their meaningless lives some purpose, all it clearly does is prove how enlighted they are.

When you properly pray to Allah, He rewards you with some nice buttseck from his Angels.

Muslims are easily offended when you say something bad about their religion, and are-wait, did the they just defeated the American Army in Afghanistan, as well mocking "civilized" society??!?! SHIT!

Some argue that people convert to Islam because they are totally incapable of running their own lives and miss the good old days in the hugbox with mommy and daddy running their shit with an iron fist and a lot of rules. The majority of Muslims believe the world is against them and feel that their way of living is the only way. In their free time they like fapping to the Qur'an, making bombs, beating their wives, shooting shit with ridiculously out of date guns and killing as many infidels as possible.

Typical moderate Western Muslim

Since Muslims cannot eat pork, have sex outside marriage, drink, do drugs, freely express themselves, or have any haram fun whatsoever, they are left alone to think of plans to bring vengeance upon the infidels. In fact, Muslims invented fencing (the art of poking people with long, stiff sticks) as a way to release sexual energy, because the women are practically ghosts, in many ways, with a large exception of being able to be physically pwned.

Many Muslims enjoy copious amounts of anal sex during their upbringing before being introduced to to the fact that faggots are on par with Jews and cartoonists. these Muslims should be executed by stoning them to death for committing faggotry.

Muslims must pray an excessive amount of the time to Allah because he's such a huge attention whore: "I have created not the jinn and men except that they should worship Me" - somewhere in the Qur'an - Chapter 51, verse 56 to be exact. In other words, Allah was an attention whore before attention was invented. He then created the Universe and us so that we could talk to him 27 times day, just to tell him that he's a pretty cool guy. It's basically like having your mom calling you on your cellphone every hour of the day. They often use their religion's prayer time as a way of getting special treatment, the likes of which followers of other religions would never get. Muslims carry ceremonial bombs strapped to their chests as commanded by Allah. Another example of this would be Muslim students expecting their courses at university to be moved to another day during Muslim holidays, all so they can recite religious gibberish in their chattering monkey accents for an unknown amount of time.

Muhammad

Moar info: "Prophet" Muhammad.

M = 13 x 9 = 117

U = 21 x 9 = 189

H = 8 x 9 = 72

A = 1 x 9 = 9

M = 13 x 9 = 117

M = 13 x 9 = 117

A = 1 x 9 = 9

D = 4 x 9 = 36

_______________+

TOTAL = 666

Muhammad = 666

Muhammad ﷺ ﷺwas part Jesus, part Genghis Khan and part moralfag. He was often credited for uniting the Middle East through the spread of Islam but it was mainly because of his policy of conversion or jizz to those he conquered.

Muhammad PBUHﷺ SAR ﷺﷺ sarted his life as a merchant and taxi driver, but soon figured out that selling people his belief was a lot more profitable than selling dates and slurpees. He wrote some fact-based poetry about his conversations with God on his Fanfiction.net and added tons of friends looking for arbitrary rules to run each and every aspect of their lives.

Muhammad ﷺﷺPBUQ+ﷺﷺﷺ was an insane sandnigger kiddie fucker, the created Muslims who follow his actions, what he said, his daily activities, and because of his faggotry being emulated as the perfect example for sandniggers altogether with strong belief of Terrorism, that's literally how the Taliban successfully pwned the US invaders, and even having their equipments seized to the Taliban.

After turning his fanfiction.net page into a magic book, titled "The Qur'an", Muhammad ﷺﷺSAWPBUﷺ was able to convince a bunch of other sandfaggots that he was "God's prophet" and final MSN messenger. Then he did what any other psycho would do when he gets that kind of power: conquere lots and lots of land and have sex with children.

How To Be A Prophet And Messenger Like Muhammad

HOW DO I DREW PROPHET MUHAMMAD?

This is a picture of the prophet Muhammad.
Muhammad, right side of Jesus

The Hadiths states that no pictures of living things ever to be made, drawn or otherwise published of Muhammad's likeness. The reason generally given is that Muhammad made this demand because he didn't want to be idolized like how Jesus was, stuck on a cross. This turns out to be a mistranslation, What Muhammad wanted was for no MS Paint drawings of his likeness to exist so that they couldn't be put on wanted posters.

If Muhammad's caliphate enemies didn't know what he looked like, they couldn't hunt him down and pin his brown ass to a cross. Since Muhammad is now long-since dead and gone, it's a clear sign of how enlightened Muslims are by not dropping a simple, selfish act of self-preservation by their brave leader that obviously had jack shit to do with the "Word of Allah".

In this sense, Muhammad was some sort of religious and a moralfag since around 85% Muslims are called Muhammad or Mohammed or anything that sounds similar.

Police are closing in on the paedophile-in-chief.

Q:How Do I drew Prophet Muhammad? A:LIKE THIS!

Taqiyyah

Muslims have a secret art called "taqiyyah", which they use to infiltrate into the leftist-liberal self-hating white environment. Generally, it means lies, deceit, victim game or menace, all used to promote Islam. Shi'ite Muslims are known for the usage of this secret art.

Funnily enough, Christians, althogether with Zionists Jews are actually likes to deceive more than Muslims, as evidenced when it comes to Israel or their western medias bias on their coverages of Muslims. it doesn't help that even in the Bible, Christians can also lie and deceit too for Christ. (Philippians 1:18 and 1 Corinthians 9:19-23)

Even Atheists can also lie too by claiming there is nothing wrong with homosexuality and anal sex is fine when done right. if they said so, then why the fuck it causes incontinence and spreads STDs even more than pre-marital heterosexual sex? if anal sex is fine when doing it right, are the majority of the faggots learned it that way then?

So the conclusion is, Taqiyyah is not unique to Islam, it is present on other religions and Atheism too!

Moon God

The star and crescent appear in combination in finds from in and around ancient Israel. It has been associated with the Moabites (14th or early 13th – 6th century BC), as the symbol or symbols appear on what are thought to be Moabite name seals. Crescents appearing together with a star or stars are a common feature of Sumerian iconography, the crescent usually being associated with the moon god Sin and the star (often identified as Venus) with Ishtar. "The crescent of Sin (the moon god) and the star of Ishtar (Lucifer)". Some scholars maintain that later use of the symbol arose from Babylonian mythology in which the juxtaposition of Sin (moon god, father of time) was a metaphor for the cosmic powers given to the Babylonian king to rule.

DERKADERKADERKAMUHAMMADJIHADDERKADERKA

Sharia

Instruction manual on how to stone a woman.

Islam's own set of religious rules, based off the Qur'an and the hadiths. basically Judaism's Halakkah version 2.0, but Halal instead of Kosher and no longer Anti-Gentiles. Muslims are obligated to establish it publicly in their countries, otherwise it means against the wills of Allah and becoming a secular Muslim, or in the worst case: kicked off from the religion and becomes an apostate infidel. Out of all Muslims countries in the world, only Afghanistan under Taliban government practices Sharia properly, while most other Muslim countries do practices Sharia too, albeit mixing it a bit with three cancers called Secularism, Democracy, and Liberalism.

Sharia is also successful in telling women to go back to kitchen because man and woman aren't the same and they have their own designated traditional gender roles, and Muslim women who attempt going out of kitchen will be executed for feminism faggotry.

These are examples of punishments if you asking for it in a Sharia-applied Muslim country, and it's super effective at preventing more crime rates:

  1. Raep: Lashes 100 times if not married, or stoning to death if married.
  2. Murder: The perpetrator is executed in the same way how they murders the victim. also known as Qisas.
  3. Homosexuality and Faggotry/Pedophilia: Stoning to death, and any other cool execution methods like this when its followed up by murder.
  4. Thievery: Any hands are cutted off for avoiding stealing things over and over again.
  5. Goatfuckery/Pokephillia: You thought the religion encourages goat rape (or bestiality) huh? well, you're wrong BIG TIME!! actually, Islam forbids zoophillia so hard that the punishments for commiting it are Killing both the person and the animal who have committed sex with each other. did you even know that the term "goatfucker" also means "greatest of all time, fucker!"?
  6. Apostasy: If any Ex-Muslims did actually cross the line, then they deserves to be killed.
  7. Blasphemy: Desecretating the religion for lulz warrants execution and Outrage Culture, because Muslims actually stands for their religion, unlike Christians who barely defend Jesus from blasphemy by teh evil liberals and faggots.

And many moar.

You can enjoy the public Danganronpa sharia execution. just take a seat, and eat an halal popcorn to witness the Sharia-fearing Monokumas applying Qisas to the nasty criminal, upupupupu!!!

Due to its harsher punishements, Sharia Law is notorious for being "barbaric, backward, and outdated". Human Right Activists and even Christians condemn the law and call its execution method "human rights violation", but first of all, why the sudden condemnation? what human rights? and worst of all, what the hell they're defending on? to sums it up, they're unaware that they actually defends vile nasty criminals like rapists, murderers, etc; when these criminals deserves to be harsly executed using that method, and because of them defending criminals, this makes them a criminal apologists for sure.

Halal and Haram

There are some forbidden things in Islam, called Haram: unislamicically slaughtered foods, porks, alcohols, nutmegs, and women getting education (the "education" in question is actually just some useless gender theory research and other counterproductive feminazi-libtard bullshits). However Islam ain't that bad of a religion and has permitted things too, called Halal: eating Islamically slaughtered and non-haram foods, dress modestly, sentencing pedophiles and rapists when they're proven to be guilty, and etc; even it is halal for Muslim husband can beat his wife if she is not obeying him, just don't harm the face. Woman having a headache when you want to do it is also counted as haram in Islam, And best of all, polygmy is allowed; rich Muslims can have up to 4 wives, and all wives must follow the man, not the other way around as in the "civilized" west.

Drinking camel piss is halal, apparently because it many benefits that it can defeats diseases, as well Muhammad even said so, WHAT.

Jihad

An American Muslim
Jihad for Dummies, Also by Muhammad.

Jihad means struggle, and is the Islamic equivalent of Crusade. Muslim leaders are known to "put a jihad" on anybody for any reason in any location at any time. A single butthurt Mufti may control his temper enough to only declare a fatwa. In a 1991, a Japanese man was killed for translating Salman Rushdie's "The Satanic Verses" into Japanese, along with numerous others involved in the book's publication and distribution (see TOW for more). Muslims are required by their religion to use Jihad as an excuse to be an IRL troll. They are known to generate serious drama and get worldwide media attention by blowing themselves up next to Jews and pretty much anyone who doesn't smell as badly as they do.

How to Jihad as recorded by those Suicide Bombers:

  1. Pray to Allah and mack the wife around one last time.
  2. Strap bomb to self.
  3. Stand around any infidels.
  4. ????
  5. VIRGINS!!! leaving behind the tented biatch you slapped in step 1, who can never remarry and is supposed to get the lulz about what you did.

After dying, Muslims celebrate with 72 virgins in "paradise" (actually hell). If all are female and or not gay/animals is a matter of debate. They are surrounded by prepubescent boys "like scattered pearls" and get to smoke all the Weed they like, drink beer, eat falafel, couscous and other inedible foods and hang out with tons of dark-eyed bitches in burkas (see burka porn in Islamic Emporium gallery) beyond the gates of "Heaven". White men on the other hand have dicks shoved into their mouths and are fucked repetitively with spike poles.

No, seriously, if you blows yourself up, it count as killing yourself, which is strongly prohibited and if you do, you will ended up doing it all over again forever infinitely in hell! According to CSPI, over the 1400 years Islamists in the name of Muhammad had killed around 270 millions infidels. This is 193 000 dead infidels in a year. Adolf Hitler hearing these numbers went into deep depression and finally committed suicide. not enough jews.

Muslimspeak

These are Arabic phrases that Muslims are usually speaks and equivalent to the ones used at western society and or the internet:

  1. Inshaallah: "Allah willing." literally Arabic version of Crusader phrase Deus Vult.
  2. Mashaallah: "Allah has willed it." When something that is great happens, and it makes you happy, and gratefull of Allah.
  3. Subhanallah: "Glory be to Allah."
  4. Alhamdulillah: "Praise to be Allah." you can use this phrase and it fit perfectly in lulzy situation.
  5. Astaghfirullah: "I seek the forgiveness of Allah". when you witness something disgusting and or blasphemous. its the Islamic equivalent of Christians saying "Jesus Christ!" when disgusted or offended.
  6. "Allahu Akbar": "God is great". When you witness something great by Allah or you did suicide bombing yourself.
  7. Jahil: means ignorant or dumbass.
  8. Kafir: means Infidel.
  9. Munafiq: means hypocrite.
  10. Mushrik: means worshipping other deity than the one and only Allah.
  11. Jihad: means struggle or crusade. self explanatory.
  12. Halal: Permitted
  13. Haram: Forbidden
  14. Makruh: Nobody give a shit

What Are Muslims Person looks like

Men

Muslim men can easily be spotted even in the society claiming to be "civilized": they sport stylish dishrags wrapped around their cavernously empty heads, wear sandals even in the winter, and walk around in pajamas. Being Arabs, they are unfailingly lazy and do not contribute positively to society, but instead of being middle eastern in appearance they are instead the colour of a burrito brown. Physically, ragheads have aquiline noses and prodigious amounts of hair growing in every part of their body and indeed out of every major orifice. Their monobrows are startlingly reminiscent of two caterpillar moths trying to eat each other.


Traditional muslim attire


Women

Muslim Women are forced to wear ridiculous beekeeper outfits that make them look like ninjas in public because heterosexual males cannot stand the sight of them. These ghost costumes do however, aid in distinguishing the gender of the wearer, and are thus entirely necessary in Muslim countries. When they aren't wearing bedspreads, these luscious ladies resemble little more than female wookiees. It is not uncommon for husband and wife to share the same facial razor. At least, Muslim womens are clean and least degenerate than typical western woman who are "liberated" thanks to first two waves of feminism, and the tranny movement for making the term "women" lost its meaning.


A Muslim girl on a normal day.


Fukken HAWT, but EDiots just want to fuck the cat.


Becoming a Muslim

Now you may wonder, why do people converts to Islam? There are many good reasons, For instances:

  • They promised you a Paradise ten virgin starter package.
  • You can go to Kewl Schewl and learn how to make Big Bomz out of fireworks and propane and urea fertilizer.
  • Islam is the religion of truth and justice bitches!! it is actually Pro-science while you Atheists trashes religion and have teh balls to be "Pro-Science"!!11!
  • They had enough of bullshit stuffs they have back when before they become Muslim.
  • They're intelectual who are into science and academical stuffs.
  • Sharia Law is based and cool!!

To become a Muslim, honest recitation of "Shahadah" in Arabic is required. Infidels wishing to convert to Islam do so by a public recitation of creed: "There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is his last MSN Messenger", in Arabic: "Assahdu Ala Illaha Illalah, wa Ashaduanna, Muhammadarrosulullah.", then follows the five pillars of Islam and presto! now you're a full fledged Muslim.

When converting to Islam, your past sins resets to zero, unless if you still did it even after conversion, your Muslim conversion becomes invalid, and you should stop doing the past sins and then repeat the shahadah again as soon as possible.

How to get into heaven

In Islam, you get into heaven on a points system. If you lived your life Islamic enough, most of the time, well, Allah is merciful, Allah is forgiving, slipping up occasionally is fine provided your balance comes out positive. The difficulty, of course, is that Allah doesn't email you a quarterly report. You can never really be sure, you know? It's always wiser to be more Islamic than less. You never know what your balance really is.

Unless you are a secular 25-year-old man who has lived in the west and not followed Islam during that time. Eating pork, not praying five times a day, looking at western women and jerking off. In that case, you are pretty certainly destined for hell. If only there was some way to make those points up! If only there was a cheat code that would raise your "being Islamic" score above the magic threshold! Happily for you, there is. The Qur'an and every significant Islamic scholar agree that killing some infidels, Jihad, will do the trick. You can be a drug-smoking pork-eating completely westernised sinner, but if you can top a few christians then that will almost certainly put you back in positive territory. You get more points for that than for anything else. Naturally you cant *really* be sure, so the best plan is to kill as many infidels as possible before the police shoot you. Those spree-killing "lone wolf" moslems are all terrified of hell, desperate to kill as many christians as they can before they are brought down, desperate to make those points up.

So, if you know a Moslem dude who is an ok sort of guy, not a fanatic or anything, and he goes on holiday to the old country and comes back all newly serious about his religion - be warned. That's the profile of a man who is going to commit Jihad. Happens all the time. Stay out of line of fire. Report him to the FBI. It will accomplish nothing, of course, but you did what you could.

Dating in Islam

The Qur'an clearly states that every woman is asking for it. Immigrant mudslimes to Europe have a longstanding religious dogma about dating white women. It is called "take your turn" when translated from monkey speak. It is a process where a Muslim meets a white jail bait or hottie, dates her, gets her alone and rapes her with his monkey buddies. All for the lulz and Jihad of course. According to Muhammad, a woman can be justifiably raped for numerous reasons, including, but not limited to:

  • Looking at and talking to a man she isn't married/related to.
  • Having sex with a man she isn't married/related to.
  • Having sex with another woman, even if commanded to by her husband under threat of rape.
  • Learning
  • Teaching
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Thinking
  • Breathing
  • Watching or appearing on Oprah
  • Watching the Simpsons
  • Attending an institution of higher-learning (rape/murder).
  • Not staying in the kitchen making hummus and falafel.
  • Not bearing a child, in spite of the frequent rape.
  • Showing more than 10 cm2 of skin.
Ask for it and you shall receive the blessing of Islam.

The Middle East, Malay Archipelago, and Sweden(istan) are currently competing with India and Israel (since 2016) to become the rape capital of the world. Therefore, it is the best place for a anyone seeking man points to go and get some. In Saudi Arabia, the rapist is the victim and the victim is the actual rapist, never in the history of mankind has "she was asking for it" been so masterfully implemented and codified.

The woman will get not only jail time but also 90 lashes (the video of which you can request a copy of for further fapping). And if she tells anyone, especially the media, she automatically gets 110 more lashes. The worst you might get is five years in a Saudi prison getting sand pounded forcefully into your asshole by Bubba-Al-Hakeem. Such is life.

In fact, it may be argued this is an ultra-protectionist policy to keep the 1% percent non-hirsute chicks to themselves. Compare to a friend of yours who meets a girl but he doesn't introduce her to you in case "you wanna stole her from him".

Another ordinary day at the raping

 
 
Three men who raped a 16-year-old girl as the attack was photographed on a mobile phone have been sent to a young offenders institute. Ajmal Afridi, 19, of Boundary Street, Imtiaz Syed, 20, of Ellesmere Street, and Tayyab Hussain, 19, of Henry Street, all Rochdale, admitted rape. [1]
 

 

Islam definitely has moral superiority over the evil secular world. You'd think that if Islam was so much better than everything else - the perfect moral code - then scumbags like these three animals wouldn't even exist. Unless ... something about their religion makes them think of women as being in some way inferior and fair game if they are unveiled?

And another

 
 
For a while Tarik was all rides in his smart car, gifts and drinks, cigarettes and drugs, which he encouraged her to try because, he reassured her, she was old enough, whatever her parents said. Then, overnight, he changed. Tarik was the gang's ringleader and one night dragged Emma into a seedy yard where he raped her. Once he had asserted his "full control" over her by this violation, she was so confused by what had happened and terrified by his threats that she let him sell her on for sex with his middle-aged male clients. She got in one little rape and her mom got scared, she said: "you're movin' to your aunty's and uncle's in Bel-Air.
 

 

And Yet Another...

Once again, Muslim moral supremacy prevails as eight Muslim men, with more Mohammed in their names than you thought possible, abduct and gang rape young White girls (the youngest being 12), apparently trying to re-enact such popular Western pornography as BangBus but without the annoying bother of "consent".

Praise Allah for all this fresh Crusader pussy

Alcohol is OK for white whores

"Islamic" grooming of teenage English girls for fun and profit

Rape Gangs In The UK, Anyone?

Thanks to the English going on a politically-correct idiot crusade, things like this keep happening:

  • Consider the woman who reported that Muslims raped 1400 British girls was forced to undergo "diversity training" [2] The police knew about the girls getting raped but did nothing to stop it, partly because of political correctness. They even went as far as to label the victims as "prostitutes" so they wouldn't offend anyone.
   
 
If we mentioned Asian taxi drivers we were told we were racist and the young people were seen as prostitutes.
 

 
 

—A former social worker

   
 
...you couldn’t bring up race issues in meetings... or you would be branded a racist .
 

 
 

—A key partner

   
 
People were afraid that they’d get into trouble if they said something that was perceived as racist....that was probably why the issue had been allowed to escalate so far, and that if someone had had the guts to stand up and say ‘I don’t care what colour you are, that’s a child’, then maybe they could have dealt with it.
 

 
 

—A police officer

   
 
A 14-year-old girl has been arrested for allegedly making racist remarks at a school in Greater Manchester.....Codie Stott said she asked to be moved from a science group where she was with five Asian pupils - only one of whom spoke English.
 

 
 

Source.

Rotherham, anyone? [3]

 
 
A group of Muslims raped 631 girls (between the ages of 12 and 16) in homeless youth shelters. Two of the girls died from injuries they received in the rapes. Despite receiving reports for 5 years about the rapes from the victims and social workers, the police did not investigate.
 

 

Source.

 
 
A candidate in the South East European elections has been arrested after making a speech quoting from a book by Winston Churchill about Islam. "Reportedly, a woman came out of the Guildhall and asked Mr Weston if he had the authorisation to make this speech."When he answered that he didn't, she told him: 'It's disgusting', and then called the police. He was further arrested on suspicion of religious or racial harassment.
 

 

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hampshire-27186573

Wikipedo articles that talk about various Muslim rape gangs in England:

[https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2020/dec/analysis-new-home-office-report-admits-grooming-gangs-are-not-muslim-problem DISREGARD THAT, FUCKERS! TURNS OUT THERE IS NO CREDIBLE EVIDENCES FOR THOSE "GROOMING GANGS", AND THIS RESEARCH SHOWS THAT GROUP-BASED OFFENDERS ARE ACTUALLY MOSTLY WHITE!!1!!11!


Idiotic Islamic Antics

Vaccination Ban

Do you know Andrew Wakefield? Well in 2018, the debate is over and it has been said that HOLY SHIT VACCINES DON'T CAUSE AUTISM, but it was only said as it as the Liberals hacked the documents. Andrew was pwned and told to GTFO of the UK and North Amerimutt so he went for his third plan, go to the Islamic Empire and tell them that vaccines contain pork and autism. Andrew told the sultans that vaccines are evil and he was a defector from "evil" Europe who wanted to save the niggers from pork, and as expected, they believed him. Andrew was happy as 1.8 billion butthurt, Arabs are now giving him free moolah to say thanks. As stated before, its very easy to take advantage of racially inferior Mudslimes who bash their heads in the earth 5 times a day. As a result, Measles, Mumps and German Measles are growing in full force in the Islamic Empire.

Allah™

Malaysian Muslims have brought a legal case in the Court of Allah™ under the Law of Allah™ to make the trade-name “Allah™” copyright of the Only True Religion of Allah™, Insha'Allah™ [4]. Muslim Internet Lawyers have sent Cease and Desist notices wrapped around firebombs to various Christian churches in Kuala Lumpur. Allah™-lujah! -===Guinea Pigs=== Once again, the Malaysians are at it again, getting butthurt over trivial horseshit. Malaysian Muslims are extremely upset over a girl holding 2 guinea pigs, just because Guinean pigs have "pig" in their name and are now burning flags and stocking up on heavy artillery to eradicate the infidels. Also, they are made angrier over the fact hot dogs have "dog" in their name.

Islam: How To Deal With It

The Monolith

Makkah is Hiroshima
Makkah is Hiroshima
Doing it since World War II days.
Doing it since World War II days.
   
 
"Drop it, what are you waiting for? We are immune to homosexual radiation."
 

 
 

Taliban, to US embassy (said privately and not public.)

Islamic Culture

Muslim Dating Services

Most Islamic dating sites show "people" in burkas under the woman section, therefore it's impossible to confirm their true gender before marriage. However there are some exceptions, like these liberal girls gone wild!

You need at least a $16.66 muslima membership to be able to contact Gongo http://www.muslima.com

Islam In Modern Society

The Ultimate Solution For American Problems

America has been a shithole ever since its foundation in 1770s, from racism, degeneracy, liberals and conservatives fighting each other despite both of them are rooted in liberalism, to mass shootings that are greater than the current state of the Middle East. these issues are all rooted in the country's ideology of freedom and classical liberalism, which are during European "enlightenment" age, and it is doomed to causing degeneracy, wokeness, immorality, and colossal ideological circus that emerged in the future, which is the present time.

These are the Islamic values that United States need:

  1. Anti-Racism: Forget about "Islam is not a race" argument, when Islamophobes kept treating Muslims as race ironically! before Martin Luther King, Jr. and leftists preaches Anti-Racism throught "Equality" which failed miserably, Islam did it first actually, Muhammad on his farewell sermon said: "All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a White has no superiority over a Black nor a Black has any superiority over a White except by piety and good action." this explains well why there are Black Muslims, White Muslims, South Asian Muslims, Middle Eastern Muslims, and any other Muslims races, and they get along very well.
  2. Traditional family units: faggotry, trannism, prostitution, sex outside marriage, abortion, absense of either parental figures, and other degenerate crap in America led to broken family units, garbled lineage, and degenerate lifestyle. Islam maintains traditional values by making marriages a man and a woman only. no cheating, no sex outside marriage (punishable by 100 lashes or stoning to death, depending on the marital status), no faggots and trannies, no porn, and other degenerate bullcrap which resulting higher fertility rates for Muslims. because of this, Muslims can breed Conservative-Liberal Whites out of existence because of their lower fertility rates due to broken marriage and family units, making White Americans a minority in the distant future soon!
  3. Coping: In the free society of degenerate American lifestyle, Americans resorts to drugs and alcohol to cope, and if their mental health worsen, they may ended up doing suicide. have life issues? well, there is Allah, you can read the Qur'an or even vent to him by praying about your life issues to change his will, and make you a better person.
  4. Lower Crime Rates: Because of freedom and liberty that United States brag upon, instead it lead to higher crime rates of murders, stealing, robberies, rapists, etc. Islam's own notorious set of religious laws, the Sharia is actually effective at preventing those crimes. why have mercy for criminals? why calling Sharia executions "barbaric" and "human rights violations"? fuck them, criminals don't deserve "human rights", and they are already bad enough to be executed harshly!

This can also applies to other western countries too, due to their "enlightenment" and secular-liberal values that eventually becomes disastereous since mid-2010s, albeit slowly. The "civilized" West is actually backward and barbaric compared to the so-called "backward" Muslim societies, even the liberal values the west holds are actually against the very basis of civilization, so... self-destructing much?

Lulz

Muslim fucktards can't get their head around the fact that holocaust denial is only illegal in Germany and Austria and even then the punishment is usually only a small fine. But no you go ahead and keep comparing the fining of a holocaust denier in Germany to Muslim lynch mobs beheading people and burning down embassies because someone in a small newspaper refused to submit to the retarded taboos of a religion and culture that they don't even belong to... Nice Job!. Actually even questioning the Sex Million figure is a imprisonable crime in every European nation, plus Canuckistan and of course Kike Reich.

It is a well known fact that Muslims have no sense of humor due to their denial of the lulzy epic trolling known as the Lollercaust. However, Muslims have become easy prey for trolls worldwide, due to the fact that you could draw a stick figure labelled "Muhammad" with his cock out masturbating in the face of a donkey, and it would be equally offensive as a stick figure labelled "Muhammad" mowing his lawn. Israel, Denmark, Medieval Catholics, and Salman Rushdie are the undisputed kings of pwning Islam. The only notably lulzy thing Islam has ever been accused of is 9/11 but that doesn't count because everyone knows that JEWS DID WTC.

Oh wait, if Muslims did have sense of humor, then their lulz would be fighting back against both Liberals and Conservatives, as well Faggots and Trannies, Feminazis, and the whole West by using their own Islamic memes, which consist of Wojak, Pepe The Frog, Chad, Political Cartoons, and many other memes, as evidenced by the Muslim Twatter and most notably, Taliban memer and shitposter  Malang Khostay.

Stereotyping

Muslims are widely believed to be violent intolerant terrorist. Those who disapprove of stereotyping argues that the media doesn't do enough to document all the good thing about Muslims do in the world, But those people are dead wrong. In fact, the media has never reported anything of that sort and probably never will because of bias and hatred towards Muslims and the religion.

Islam, Fuck Yeah!

Muslims also get a bad reputation because they are currently at war with at least a dozen countries in the world including the United States and its NATO allies. For people living in these countries, it is common knowledge that all Muslims are evil terrorists, that they believe in a false deity and that they deserve to have their oil stolen from them for environmental destruction and profit. after the Taliban defeated the US army in 2021, turns out the actual terrorists all time along are the United States and its allies while going home with their shameful defeat, and their military equipment deserve to be taken away and now owned by the Taliban.

Not intolerant of Christianity shock

Crusaders have been putting about the blasphemous rumour that Muslims want to kill all Christians. A classic example, ten eye doctors were recently killed in Afghanistan and the Western Satanic Press claimed that the Taliban had executed them for being Christian missionaries. This of course is untrue. The doctors were killed for practicing medicine incompatible with 7th century Saudi Arabia. It's Allah in a day's work for the Taliban!

Liberal Muslims

A bastard childrens of Muslim when forced to do zina with Liberals/SJWs. They are Muslims who has both woke liberal ideologies at most, and bit of cultural Muslim traditions at least. common characteristics includes supporting LGBT and Feminism (particularly 3rd and 4th waves), mostly lives in western countries but there are ones that living outside those countries, believing that the religion is of a peace and Muslims are pacifists and only Allah can judge them, and many more of woke SJW traits, which are all subject to laughing stocks for Anti-SJWs and Traditionalist Muslims. it is obvious that the religion is actually has its own strong traditional values that contradicts with liberal values, literally like mixing oil with water.

Alt-Islamists

Also known as Akh-right, an alt-right-inspired Islamist movement, which consist of abrogating alt-right values and memes with traditional Islamic ones if supporting. as a result, they are ended up becoming Muslims on stereoids, which is extremely powerful enough to countering the woke SJW liberal culture.

Usually, we are all know that alt-righters tends to be hostile toward Muslims and their religion, right? well, it didn't age well like a milk. as of 2021, since the Taliban defeats the US invaders, eventually they find in common with Muslims, united with Anti-Semitism, misogyny, homophobia, and even supporting the Taliban. Latino far-rightist, White Supremacist and Catholic True Christian Nationalist Nick Fuentes even praised the Taliban, saying "The Taliban is a conservative, religious force, the US is godless and liberal. The defeat of the US government in Afghanistan is unequivocally a positive development."

Taliban can be said that they are basically what Amerimutt conservatives and patriots tried to achieves, but actually succeed.

There is even white Sharia; when white supremacism meets Islamism. Hating the religion, but supports its values because it is the "only living example of anything that even remotely approximates the patriarchal society that Western man once had himself."

List of Famous Muslims

Terrorists

Terrorists

Terrorists

Faggots

Terrorists

Terrorist characters

God

  • Allah Ackbar Allah Ackbar. We will do anything you lord. We will suck you off till the day we explode. I have a complete invisible faith in u.

Baba Ali

Particular attention deserves a popular Muslim comedian on youtube, whose shows spin around Islam. He's an idol of most Muslims on youtube, so by trolling him you can cause a lot of butthurt from his fans. Also, he stole this nickname from Ali Baba, a popular character in Arabic literature, even though he swapped words he's still a faggot who couldn't devise an original nickname for himself. In videos he's joking about Islam, he can accidentally yell at cam, pull faces, in other words being a typical youtube comedian, also has a lulzy Arabic accent.

1

2

Islamic Media

Islamic Manga

Challenge to Weeaboos on DeviantArt: Try drawing a manga of Muhammad and his daily life with his loli wife Aisha. When Tokyo lights up over satellite in the most spectacular manner possible, then it's sure you have done a great contribution to the Muslim community.

One of favorite pastime of a Muslim painter is to draw Muslim characters in manga-style. One of this example is fullwhitemoon aka Nayzak who draws kawaii characters, including kawaii muslima teacher (who needs a hard infidel cock to be inserted in her vagina) who gives lessons to infidels in understandable manner. Though being a lazy fucktard managed to produce only 4 parts so far. (LOL Comments Disabled!)

Donate money towards construction of a mosque in japan! If you donate $1000 towards the construction of the mosque, you get the "alluhu ackbar package"

Drama-generating Techniques

  1. Question the Qur'an.
  2. Draw Prophet Mohammad. If you drew him, take the drawing to the Mosque for a bonus point to show to all the Muslims there.
  3. Call Mohammad a pedophile because of his marriage to Aisha.
  4. Tell them that you doubt Mohammad's Historicity.
  5. Call them a Muzzie, Terrorist, Kebab, and other lulzy nicknames for them.
  6. Ask them why they love Terrorism and Sharia law.
  7. Ask them if they have bombs underneath their clothes
  8. If they said Islam is a religion of peace, then questions them how the religion spreads.
  9. Tell them they stink and ask if that was supposed to be used for bio-terrorism.
  10. Say that South Park is the best show ever.
  11. Show yourself up as degenerate in front of Muslims.
  12. Bring a feminist (WARNING: Will result in apocalyptic-scale biowarfare between the two).
  13. "Israel was there first".
  14. Inform the Non-Arab Muslims that Islam was primarly the Ideology of Arab Imperialism.
  15. Ask them if praying is a polite way of meaning jacking off.
  16. Remind them that almost all airplane bombings have been perpetrated by muslims... oh wait.
  17. Say them that you are an Atheist or an Agnostic.
  18. Refer to their Mosques as Synagogues.
  19. Bring a Serbian friend.
  20. Make Thalmor memes to badmouth the worship of Allah.
  21. ???
  22. PROFIT!!!

WARNING: Exercise extreme caution when trolling Muslims because if they raeg they have 72% probability of exploding

Looking for trolling Christians instead? click here.

Muslims Standing Up for Their Beliefs


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In Islam, depending on the rulesets, music is forbidden because it is fun. But, if Islam were to have a theme tune, it'd be this...



See Also

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