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Zaiger: Difference between revisions
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{{achtung|Congrats to 2017's Faggot of the Year!}} | |||
{{spoiler|he turned out to be [[Impossible|as much of a Jew as Girlvinyl]] and tried to sell ED down the river to buy meth, CP, and sex toys}} | {{spoiler|he turned out to be [[Impossible|as much of a Jew as Girlvinyl]] and tried to sell ED down the river to buy meth, CP, and sex toys}} | ||
{{eduser|Zaiger}}[[File:Zaigermom.jpg|center]] | |||
[[File:Zaigerface.png|thumb|right|200px|When you press random in [[Oblivion]]'s character creator]] | [[File:Zaigerface.png|thumb|right|200px|When you press random in [[Oblivion]]'s character creator]] | ||
[[File:PortraitOfZaiger.png|thumb|right|300px|Artistic rendering of Zaiger.]] | [[File:PortraitOfZaiger.png|thumb|right|300px|Artistic rendering of Zaiger.]] | ||
<center><small>Let this set the tone for the rest of the article</small></center> | <center><small>Let this set the tone for the rest of the article</small></center> | ||
'''Brian Richard Zaiger''' | '''Brian Richard Zaiger''' (also known as '''Mantequilla''', and simply '''Zaiger''') was the former [[admin]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who fell [[ass]] backwards into the role after [[GirlVinyl]] [[Sell Out|sold out]] the site, [[Ryan Cleary]] got [[arrested]] for being part of [[Lulzsec]] and [[Garrett]] became suddenly employed, so the position somehow defaulted to Zaiger, despite barely being a mod on ED.com, not having any technical skills, specifically for running a fully-fledged website. Brian has a long track record of being banned from ED.com multiple times for being a massive [[faggot]]. Zaiger is from the shithole of Salem, [[Massachusetts]] near [[Boston|Baaaawstin]], where, prior to being arrested for [[drugs]] and ''laissez-faire'' "running" Encyclopedia Dramatica for a shitty six years, owned a derelict, roach-infested apartment, which he was eventually evicted from, due to not paying the rent. Homeless, and on the street for a brief period, before his arrest, he contemplated suicide, but unfortunately never [[DO IT FAGGOT|went through with it]]. | ||
Despite constantly bitching about how Sherrod betrayed ED, he ended up being even worse than her and is now known as Sherrod 2: [[Electric Boogaloo]]. After gaining control of the site, Zaiger then spent the next few years running the ED into the ground with his [[Lazy|laziness]], [[Autism|incompetence]], [[greed]] and [[Computer Science III|technological illiteracy]]. Making the site unusable by flooding it with [[virus]]-ridden pop-up ads for [[porn]] sites and stealing all of the site's donations and ad revenue to fuel his on-again-off-again [[Drugs|drug]] and [[alcohol]] [[addiction]] instead of paying for our hosting or the child support for his [[bastard]] son, then [[E-Begging]] the community and other staff members for more [[money]] so he could keep the site up (only to spend it all on booze yet again). In his wake, Zaiger left a long list of lost domains and resigning administrators, all of whom quit when they got sick of babysitting him to keep him from destroying the site while he's [[drunk]], and doing his work for him because he [[OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER |doesn't know how to computer]]. | Despite constantly bitching about how Sherrod betrayed ED, he ended up being even worse than her and is now known as Sherrod 2: [[Electric Boogaloo]]. After gaining control of the site, Zaiger then spent the next few years running the ED into the ground with his [[Lazy|laziness]], [[Autism|incompetence]], [[greed]] and [[Computer Science III|technological illiteracy]]. Making the site unusable by flooding it with [[virus]]-ridden pop-up ads for [[porn]] sites and stealing all of the site's donations and ad revenue to fuel his on-again-off-again [[Drugs|drug]] and [[alcohol]] [[addiction]] instead of paying for our hosting or the child support for his [[bastard]] son, then [[E-Begging]] the community and other staff members for more [[money]] so he could keep the site up (only to spend it all on booze yet again). In his wake, Zaiger left a long list of lost domains and resigning administrators, all of whom quit when they got sick of babysitting him to keep him from destroying the site while he's [[drunk]], and doing his work for him because he [[OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER |doesn't know how to computer]]. | ||
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Zaiger's reckoning finally came when, after racking up nearly [[over 9000|$100k]] in legal fees due to being personally [[lolsuit|sued]] for something someone wrote on the site, he had all of his admin privs wrestled away from him by the current administration who found out he was planning to sell the website, and kicked out of ED, still saddled with an insurmountable [[debt]] he acquired on ED's behalf that we no longer intend to help him pay. | Zaiger's reckoning finally came when, after racking up nearly [[over 9000|$100k]] in legal fees due to being personally [[lolsuit|sued]] for something someone wrote on the site, he had all of his admin privs wrestled away from him by the current administration who found out he was planning to sell the website, and kicked out of ED, still saddled with an insurmountable [[debt]] he acquired on ED's behalf that we no longer intend to help him pay. | ||
Zaiger is currently <s>[[homeless]]</s> [ | Zaiger is currently <s>[[homeless]]</s> [https://www.salemnews.com/news/local_news/area-police-logs/article_af4524a2-9953-5786-8ce3-5f33f9aad482.html LOL ARRESTED]. | ||
==Personal life== | ==Personal life== | ||
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====Unnamed Mystery Woman==== | ====Unnamed Mystery Woman==== | ||
[[File:Zaigerwife. | [[File:Zaigerwife.jpg|left|200px]] | ||
After being booted from ED, kicked out by all his girlfriends and becoming homeless, Zaiger came to the home of this ex for a place to stay, claiming he is off the drugs. Soon after, he stole her credit card, pretended to go buy food and instead went out looking for heroin. The woman cancelled her credit card, locked her door, and texted him to GTFO. | After being booted from ED, kicked out by all his girlfriends and becoming homeless, Zaiger came to the home of this ex for a place to stay, claiming he is off the drugs. Soon after, he stole her credit card, pretended to go buy food and instead went out looking for heroin. The woman cancelled her credit card, locked her door, and texted him to GTFO. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
====AdeZero==== | ====[[adezero|AdeZero]]==== | ||
[[File:Threatzaiger.jpg|center]] | [[File:Threatzaiger.jpg|center]] | ||
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Random troll/[[Tech Support|tech]] [[chick]] that Zaiger dated off-and-on for a while, in the only Zaiger relationship story that isn't [[funny]] thanks to the girl being a drug addict. | Random troll/[[Tech Support|tech]] [[chick]] that Zaiger dated off-and-on for a while, in the only Zaiger relationship story that isn't [[funny]] thanks to the girl being a drug addict. | ||
What ''does'' make this story funny is that when she came to her senses and finally dumped this [[loser]], who according to her has been sleeping on her couch under a literal mountain of empty beer cans, Zaiger responded by writing a [[butthurt]] [[article]] about her which he [[Spam|spammed]] with her nudes, posted them on revenge porn sites and used official ED [[social media]] accounts to advertise that, then started leaving her multiple [[death threats]] on her answering machine in his [[Kermit]] the frog voice, while simultaneously begging her to get back together with him. | What ''does'' make this story funny is that when she came to her senses and finally dumped this [[loser]], who according to her has been sleeping on her couch under a literal mountain of empty beer cans, Zaiger responded by writing a [[butthurt]] [[article]] about her which he [[Spam|spammed]] with her nudes, posted them on revenge porn sites and used official ED [[social media]] accounts to advertise that, then started leaving her multiple [[death threats]] on her answering machine in his [[Kermit]] the frog voice, while simultaneously begging her to get back together with him. | ||
It's unclear what she then threatened him with, but the article was hastily deleted by Zaiger and scrubbed from the site's [[archive]]. Soon after, the [[girl]] was forced to issue a restraining order against him to make him finally [[fuck off]]. In spite of this, Zaiger still regularly calls her to beg her for [[money]] or complain about his current girlfriend, who he hates. And as soon as the restraining order expired, Zaiger was back to doing this: | It's unclear what she then threatened him with, but the article was hastily deleted by Zaiger and scrubbed from the site's [[archive]]. Soon after, the [[girl]] was forced to issue a restraining order against him to make him finally [[fuck off]]. In spite of this, Zaiger still regularly calls her to beg her for [[money]] or complain about his current girlfriend, who he hates. And as soon as the restraining order expired, Zaiger was back to doing this: | ||
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After being left homeless and addicted to heroin, | After being left homeless and addicted to heroin, Zaiger tried to stay at her house, but then attacked her when she wouldn't give him money for crack and was arrested. The only reason this did not end in murder was that he was so drug addled at this point that he couldn't beat a woman in a fight. As the cops were taking him away he was demanding she come bail him out. | ||
Just to clarify how much of a fuckup he is, it's worth noting that, at one point, she almost managed to get actual sponsors for the site, only for Zaiger to fuck it up by acting like an [[edgy]] [[teenager]] when she asked him to talk to the sponsors on [[ | Just to clarify how much of a fuckup he is, it's worth noting that, at one point, she almost managed to get actual sponsors for the site, only for Zaiger to fuck it up by acting like an [[edgy]] [[teenager]] when she asked him to talk to the sponsors on [[Skype]] and close the deal. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
====Unnamed Korean crack whore==== | ====Unnamed Korean crack whore==== | ||
[[File:Zaigerskoreanwhore. | [[File:Zaigerskoreanwhore.jpg|left|200px]] | ||
At some point between his previous girlfriend and his current one, Zaiger divulged to a staff member that he's dating an aging, [[meth]] addicted, [[Korean]] [[hooker]] who he knows is only dating him to get drug money and who he thinks is so stupid she's bordering on [[retardation]]. So retarded even a retard can spot it. | At some point between his previous girlfriend and his current one, Zaiger divulged to a staff member that he's dating an aging, [[meth]] addicted, [[Korean]] [[hooker]] who he knows is only dating him to get drug money and who he thinks is so stupid she's bordering on [[retardation]]. So retarded even a retard can spot it. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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According to rumors, Zaiger confided in his previous girlfriend that he secretly hates his current one. | According to rumors, Zaiger confided in his previous girlfriend that he secretly hates his current one. | ||
Brian and Mandi are now a [[meme]] on | Brian and Mandi are now a [[meme]] on {{fbgroup|195616461020502|the ED facebook group.}} | ||
{{cg|Broyan Saigler|gal3|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | {{cg|Broyan Saigler|gal3|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
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File:Pasta 4.png | File:Pasta 4.png | ||
</gallery>|<gallery> | </gallery>|<gallery> | ||
File:Pasta 5. | File:Pasta 5.png | ||
File:Pasta 6.PNG | File:Pasta 6.PNG | ||
File:Pasta 7.png | File:Pasta 7.png | ||
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===Assorted pseudo Internet GFs=== | ===Assorted pseudo Internet GFs=== | ||
[[File:Queenyzaiger.jpg|thumb|right|200px|One DM from this [[Queeny Martha|fat, ugly whore]] was enough for Zaiger to remove someones article (and she's married)]] | [[File:Queenyzaiger.jpg|thumb|right|200px|One DM from this [[Queeny Martha|fat, ugly whore]] was enough for Zaiger to remove someones article (and she's married)]] | ||
In the last few months of his rule, Zaiger began creepily flirting with [[random]] chicks from the Internets and doing things like [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|giving them staff positions on ED in hopes they'll sleep with him]] and deleting articles for them if he thought he had a shot. This included removing an | In the last few months of his rule, Zaiger began creepily flirting with [[random]] chicks from the Internets and doing things like [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|giving them staff positions on ED in hopes they'll sleep with him]] and deleting articles for them if he thought he had a shot. This included removing an article about [[ED Singers]], an important part of ED history, [[Messyjessie]], one of the site's biggest lolcows ever, after [[cybersex|cybersexing]] her, [[DGTrixie]], a middle aged forum [[lolcow]], as well as an article about a known [[YouTube]] [[pedophile]] that he removed because he was asked to by a morbidly [[obese]] boobie [[twitch]] streamer. | ||
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After the fall of ED.com to GirlVinyl's greed, the site was revived (with little help from Zaiger) and taken over by [[Ryan Cleary]]. After his involvement with [[Lulzsec]] landed him in [[prison]], Zaiger became the De-facto owner of the site. What followed was half a decade of consistent [[failure]], as Brian continuously mismanaged the site, leading to admin after admin quitting the website because they were sick of watching him steal users' money, talking him down from implementing moronic ideas, babysitting him every time he relapsed into [[alcoholism]] and giving him money to keep the website alive every time he spent all the ad revenue and donation money on drugs and [[booze]]. | After the fall of ED.com to GirlVinyl's greed, the site was revived (with little help from Zaiger) and taken over by [[Ryan Cleary]]. After his involvement with [[Lulzsec]] landed him in [[prison]], Zaiger became the De-facto owner of the site. What followed was half a decade of consistent [[failure]], as Brian continuously mismanaged the site, leading to admin after admin quitting the website because they were sick of watching him steal users' money, talking him down from implementing moronic ideas, babysitting him every time he relapsed into [[alcoholism]] and giving him money to keep the website alive every time he spent all the ad revenue and donation money on drugs and [[booze]]. | ||
As his alcoholism worsened, Zaiger first stopped showing up on the site altogether for over a year, which was preferable to his state when he did return, because he then began flooding ED with so many ads that it became unusable. As many stopped visiting because of fear of viruses and lack of desire to click away nearly ten porn ads every time they click anything, Zaiger began making up ever more frequent lies as an excuse to e-beg for donations, begging his staff members for money (most of whom knew | As his alcoholism worsened, Zaiger first stopped showing up on the site altogether for over a year, which was preferable to his state when he did return, because he then began flooding ED with so many ads that it became unusable. As many stopped visiting because of fear of viruses and lack of desire to click away nearly ten porn ads every time they click anything, Zaiger began making up ever more frequent lies as an excuse to e-beg for donations, begging his staff members for money (most of whom knew he's probably stealing at least part of it but felt sorry for the sad fuck) and deleting articles belonging to lolcows like [[Onideus]] (Brian's best friend, seriously) and making them admins on the site in exchange for money, thus plunging the wiki into a 1,000-year reign of [[autism]]. | ||
<center>{{frame|<youtube>YgdN5p8wITk</youtube> | <center>{{frame|<youtube>YgdN5p8wITk</youtube></center> | ||
< | <center><small>'''''What using the site was like thanks to Zaiger'''''</small></center> | ||
<center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center> | |||
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===="Anonmgur" - Zaiger's Kiddie Porn Site==== | ===="Anonmgur" - Zaiger's Kiddie Porn Site==== | ||
[[Anonmgur]] was an "[[anonymous]] image hosting site" | [[Anonmgur]] was an "[[anonymous]] image hosting site" Zaiger "created" and featured proudly on ED's header that became a collection of [[child porn]] that Zaiger refused to delete. | ||
{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;" | {| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;" | ||
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However, when everyone aware of what's really been going on told the rest of the community that Zaiger has been stealing their money for years, everyone laughed at him and admitted they always hated the poor loser. In the end, his site only lasted for about two days and its only members were Zaiger, the disgraced army vet who abandoned Zaiger when he realized what was going on and now works for us, and [[Onideus]] who, without Zaiger's protection, was finally banned from the site and moved to Zaiger's site (this being his THIRD attempt to get revenge on ED by creating his own version of it), only to then return when the site went down and be banned one final time. | However, when everyone aware of what's really been going on told the rest of the community that Zaiger has been stealing their money for years, everyone laughed at him and admitted they always hated the poor loser. In the end, his site only lasted for about two days and its only members were Zaiger, the disgraced army vet who abandoned Zaiger when he realized what was going on and now works for us, and [[Onideus]] who, without Zaiger's protection, was finally banned from the site and moved to Zaiger's site (this being his THIRD attempt to get revenge on ED by creating his own version of it), only to then return when the site went down and be banned one final time. | ||
As his last, pathetic attempts to fight back, Zaiger refuses to give us back ED's social media accounts (much like Sherrod refused to give back some of ED images) and got into the admin account of the aforementioned disgraced admin who gave him his password to try and delete [[EDF2]] after someone posted a [ | As his last, pathetic attempts to fight back, Zaiger refuses to give us back ED's social media accounts (much like Sherrod refused to give back some of ED images) and got into the admin account of the aforementioned disgraced admin who gave him his password to try and delete [[EDF2]] after someone posted a [https://motherless.com/CAB7B7C Video of Zaiger's GF] sucking [[Big Black Cock|big, black cock]]. A stunt that only managed to delete the last six months, and thereby the active voting thread for that year's [[FOTY|EDF2 Faggot Of The Year Award]], where it was being hotly discussed whether or not Zaiger qualifies, since his faggotry only occurred at the start of the new year. Having turned back time by six months, it was unanimously decided that now he ''does'' qualify and is the undisputed winner. Beating out [[William Atchison]], a site admin who recently shot up a school and lost a fight to a couch, in levels of faggotry. | ||
Congratulations. | Congratulations. | ||
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{{quote|A recovering alcoholic that's not recovering? There's a name for that. It's called an alcoholic.|Dick on Zaiger}} | {{quote|A recovering alcoholic that's not recovering? There's a name for that. It's called an alcoholic.|Dick on Zaiger}} | ||
By pure coincidence, one of ED's admins made | By pure coincidence, one of ED's admins made {{ytlink|nP1gkCTvR4Y|a shitty video trashing}} [[Maddox]] and was invited to The Dick Show podcast by [[Dick Masterson]]. This was intended to be used to promote Zaiger's legal fund, but thankfully, he was exposed just two days before the interview took place. Subsequently, this ED admin instead used the opportunity to tell Dick and his tens of thousands of viewers about what a sad, thieving alcoholic Zaiger is, and encourage anyone watching not to ever give him any money. Laughing at Zaiger's pain proved to be so entertaining that it was uploaded separately as a video to Dick Youtube channel. Enjoy. | ||
{{frame|<youtube>DCdgZo8Hav8</youtube>||border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}} | |||
====Zaiger's tale gets told by Count Dankula==== | ====Zaiger's tale gets told by Count Dankula==== | ||
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{{frame|<youtube>jdrVnX7ugrQ</youtube>|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}} | |||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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{| | {{center| | ||
| | {{frame| | ||
{{videoframe|1|font-weight: bold;| | |||
| | |[[File:Brian_zaiger_junkie.mp4|200x324px]] | ||
| | ;1 | ||
|[[File:Brian_zaiger_get_another_shot_ready.mp4|200x324px]] | |||
| | ;2 | ||
| | |[[File:Brian_zaiger_autistic_screeching.mp4|200x324px]] | ||
| | ;3 | ||
|} | |[[File:Brian_zaiger_heroin_2.mp4|200x324px]] | ||
;4 | |||
|[[File:Brian_zaiger_heroin.mp4|200x324px]] | |||
;5 | |||
|[[File:Brian_zaiger_i_love_cock.mp4|200x324px]] | |||
;6}} | |||
|border=pink|background=white}} | |||
|}} | |||
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==Zaiger Updates== | ==Zaiger Updates== | ||
Days after he was ousted, Zaiger was already homeless, can't find a job thanks to his years of unemployment and online history, and begging people on Facebook to [[PayPal]] him $20 because he's starving, then spending it on more booze while he squats at local coffee shops for the free Wi-Fi. He now | Days after he was ousted, Zaiger was already homeless, can't find a job thanks to his years of unemployment and online history, and begging people on Facebook to [[PayPal]] him $20 because he's starving, then spending it on more booze while he squats at local coffee shops for the free Wi-Fi. He now wanders the streets of Salem, MA, saddled with a massive legal debt which was supposed to take down ED, but ended up ridding us of its worst admin, as we made him the lawsuit's patsy and kicked him to the curb. | ||
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===Sep 19, 2018 - In jail again=== | ===Sep 19, 2018 - In jail again=== | ||
After he was let out of jail, we lost track of Brian for a few months, only for him to turn up again after he stole a credit card from one of his ex girlfriends to buy heroin. After she cancelled that credit card he went back to another ex to beg to stay with her, then tried to beat her up for drug money. However, | After he was let out of jail, we lost track of Brian for a few months, only for him to turn up again after he stole a credit card from one of his ex girlfriends to buy heroin. After she cancelled that credit card he went back to another ex to beg to stay with her, then tried to beat her up for drug money. However, Zaiger's drug addled body was too weak to fight a woman half his size and the police were called, landing him in jail. On his way out he yelled at the woman he just attacked that she'd better come bail him out. | ||
Zaiger is now a full-on desperate junky. | Zaiger is now a full-on desperate junky. | ||
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On Twitter, Zaiger posted an image of a casting couch, complete with a camera, which means he is very likely living on a [[BLACKED]] porno shoot. He also thoughtfully uploaded a selfie of himself to Facebook, which confirms he is indeed out of both jail and closet. Thus, the only reasonable conclusion is Zaiger has finally got to achieve his life-long goal of being able to get paid via vacuuming BBC. Never can you say jail doesn't teach someone valuable outside skills (although, if we're being honest, Zaiger probably learned how to suck cock long ago.) | On Twitter, Zaiger posted an image of a casting couch, complete with a camera, which means he is very likely living on a [[BLACKED]] porno shoot. He also thoughtfully uploaded a selfie of himself to Facebook, which confirms he is indeed out of both jail and closet. Thus, the only reasonable conclusion is Zaiger has finally got to achieve his life-long goal of being able to get paid via vacuuming BBC. Never can you say jail doesn't teach someone valuable outside skills (although, if we're being honest, Zaiger probably learned how to suck cock long ago.) | ||
{{clear}} | |||
==November 12, 2021: Back== | |||
[[File:Ed-verification.png|thumb|500px|His confirmation screenshot. [[:File:Ed-verification.png|It was uploaded by him]]. (Archive: {{wayback|https://encyclopediadramatica.online/File:Ed-verification.png|20211115001642|title=1}} {{archive|4kyW9|2}})]] | |||
Recently, Zaiger came back to ED under "[[User:Brianz|Brianz]]" (recently renamed to simply "Zaiger"). He later uploaded the file on the right, confirming he is, in fact, the real Zaiger. | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
| Line 460: | Line 453: | ||
*[[Alcoholism]] | *[[Alcoholism]] | ||
*[[Faggot]] | *[[Faggot]] | ||
*[[Zaiger/old|Zaeg's old article]] | |||
==External links== | ==External links== | ||
*{{ | *{{EDF2thread|29075|The "Fuck Zaiger" thead}} - where we laugh at his downfall | ||
* [ | *[https://motherless.com/CAB7B7C Video of Zaiger's GF sucking black dick] - This allegedly made him nuke the forum. [[:File:WEBCAM TEEN (PrincessPrick) CAB7B7C.mp4|A mirror here]] | ||
* | *{{ytlink|TZ8NQgHvAg8|Video of Zaiger from a secret YT account}} - LOL look at his fucking apartment | ||
* | *{{linkedin|brian-zaiger-63902554|Zaiger's LinkedIn}} | ||
{{drugs}} | {{drugs}} | ||
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{{takedown}} | {{takedown}} | ||
{{timeline|Featured article February 4 and February 5, [[2018]]|[[L0de Radio Hour]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Black History Month]]}} | {{timeline|Featured article February 4 and February 5, [[2018]]|[[L0de Radio Hour]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Black History Month]]}} | ||
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 25 and 26, [[2022]]|[[Money]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Comic-Con]]}} | |||
[[Category:People|Zaiger, Brian]] [[Category:In Jokes]] | [[Category:People|Zaiger, Brian]] [[Category:In Jokes]] | ||
Latest revision as of 22:53, 27 July 2024
|
Congrats to 2017's Faggot of the Year! |
Brian Richard Zaiger (also known as Mantequilla, and simply Zaiger) was the former admin of Encyclopedia Dramatica, who fell ass backwards into the role after GirlVinyl sold out the site, Ryan Cleary got arrested for being part of Lulzsec and Garrett became suddenly employed, so the position somehow defaulted to Zaiger, despite barely being a mod on ED.com, not having any technical skills, specifically for running a fully-fledged website. Brian has a long track record of being banned from ED.com multiple times for being a massive faggot. Zaiger is from the shithole of Salem, Massachusetts near Baaaawstin, where, prior to being arrested for drugs and laissez-faire "running" Encyclopedia Dramatica for a shitty six years, owned a derelict, roach-infested apartment, which he was eventually evicted from, due to not paying the rent. Homeless, and on the street for a brief period, before his arrest, he contemplated suicide, but unfortunately never went through with it.
Despite constantly bitching about how Sherrod betrayed ED, he ended up being even worse than her and is now known as Sherrod 2: Electric Boogaloo. After gaining control of the site, Zaiger then spent the next few years running the ED into the ground with his laziness, incompetence, greed and technological illiteracy. Making the site unusable by flooding it with virus-ridden pop-up ads for porn sites and stealing all of the site's donations and ad revenue to fuel his on-again-off-again drug and alcohol addiction instead of paying for our hosting or the child support for his bastard son, then E-Begging the community and other staff members for more money so he could keep the site up (only to spend it all on booze yet again). In his wake, Zaiger left a long list of lost domains and resigning administrators, all of whom quit when they got sick of babysitting him to keep him from destroying the site while he's drunk, and doing his work for him because he doesn't know how to computer.
Zaiger's reckoning finally came when, after racking up nearly $100k in legal fees due to being personally sued for something someone wrote on the site, he had all of his admin privs wrestled away from him by the current administration who found out he was planning to sell the website, and kicked out of ED, still saddled with an insurmountable debt he acquired on ED's behalf that we no longer intend to help him pay.
Zaiger is currently homeless LOL ARRESTED.
Personal life
—Zaiger's father's last words to him. | ||
Zaiger is the local Town Drunk of beautiful witch-free Salem, Massachusetts. His father died of OD'ing and Zaiger proudly continued his legacy by developing a crippling drug and alcohol addiction. At some point Zaiger managed to impregnate some trailer park slut and has been avoiding alimony and child support payments ever since, only seeing his kids about once a year. He lives in what is basically a storage unit (lol evicted and homeless now), and his hobbies include: Desperately hiding his Jewishness (seriously he's 3/4 jew and trying to hide it), drinking, doing drugs, begging people for money online and making half-hearted suicide attempts every time he thinks about how shit his life is. Now that he doesn't even have this website as the only thing in his life to be proud of, we all eagerly await for him to finish the job.
Girlfriends
Aside from whatever disgusting fat redneck whore he got preggos, ED is aware of at least three relationships Brian has been in involved in, in varying degrees of hilarious and sad.
Unnamed Baby Momma
At some point Zaiger impregnated some hoe with rich parents and has since become a deadbeat dad who doesn't pay his child support and only gets to see his son like once every few years (which is fortunate for the kid). The woman allegedly has a restraining order against him and had to file domestic abuse charges at one point because Zaiger is a wife beater on top of everything.
She asked us to keep her and her son's picture out of the article and we figured having sex with Brian was already punishment enough.
It's possible the kid isn't even his (the chick was fucking 5 other guys), but he refuses to take a DNA test to find out.
Unnamed Mystery Woman
After being booted from ED, kicked out by all his girlfriends and becoming homeless, Zaiger came to the home of this ex for a place to stay, claiming he is off the drugs. Soon after, he stole her credit card, pretended to go buy food and instead went out looking for heroin. The woman cancelled her credit card, locked her door, and texted him to GTFO.
AdeZero
Random troll/tech chick that Zaiger dated off-and-on for a while, in the only Zaiger relationship story that isn't funny thanks to the girl being a drug addict.
What does make this story funny is that when she came to her senses and finally dumped this loser, who according to her has been sleeping on her couch under a literal mountain of empty beer cans, Zaiger responded by writing a butthurt article about her which he spammed with her nudes, posted them on revenge porn sites and used official ED social media accounts to advertise that, then started leaving her multiple death threats on her answering machine in his Kermit the frog voice, while simultaneously begging her to get back together with him.
It's unclear what she then threatened him with, but the article was hastily deleted by Zaiger and scrubbed from the site's archive. Soon after, the girl was forced to issue a restraining order against him to make him finally fuck off. In spite of this, Zaiger still regularly calls her to beg her for money or complain about his current girlfriend, who he hates. And as soon as the restraining order expired, Zaiger was back to doing this:
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After being left homeless and addicted to heroin, Zaiger tried to stay at her house, but then attacked her when she wouldn't give him money for crack and was arrested. The only reason this did not end in murder was that he was so drug addled at this point that he couldn't beat a woman in a fight. As the cops were taking him away he was demanding she come bail him out.
Just to clarify how much of a fuckup he is, it's worth noting that, at one point, she almost managed to get actual sponsors for the site, only for Zaiger to fuck it up by acting like an edgy teenager when she asked him to talk to the sponsors on Skype and close the deal.
Unnamed Korean crack whore
At some point between his previous girlfriend and his current one, Zaiger divulged to a staff member that he's dating an aging, meth addicted, Korean hooker who he knows is only dating him to get drug money and who he thinks is so stupid she's bordering on retardation. So retarded even a retard can spot it.
Mewen
Zaiger's current next girlfriend is was Mandi "The vagoose is loose" Brown. A barely legal, emotionally damaged camwhore who's known to ED for having flirted and sent nudes to half its userbase and has slept with every person in her neighborhood (this is not an exaggeration), regardless of age, race, sex, or mental state. That last part is not a joke, since Mandi is known for befriending and dating the mentally retarded (including Zaiger) on numerous occasions. Her most recent relationship before Zaiger was a Walmart employee in his fifties, who she almost married. Before that she was dating a coke-addled tranny, who supposedly was better equipped than Brian. Mandi eventually died of a heroin overdose.
According to rumors, Zaiger confided in his previous girlfriend that he secretly hates his current one.
Brian and Mandi are now a meme on 
the ED facebook group.
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Mandi going to town on Zaiger's tiny dick. Uploaded by Zaiger himself in buttmadness -
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Assorted pseudo Internet GFs
In the last few months of his rule, Zaiger began creepily flirting with random chicks from the Internets and doing things like giving them staff positions on ED in hopes they'll sleep with him and deleting articles for them if he thought he had a shot. This included removing an article about ED Singers, an important part of ED history, Messyjessie, one of the site's biggest lolcows ever, after cybersexing her, DGTrixie, a middle aged forum lolcow, as well as an article about a known YouTube pedophile that he removed because he was asked to by a morbidly obese boobie twitch streamer.
Zaiger the Extortionist
However, if you don't have tits, you could always get your article removed by paying for it and having Zaiger lie about the reason, as was the case with Onideus and Sexlord who gave him money to do things like remove their articles, put them back up because one of them gets turned on by humiliation, delete them again and make them members of the site's staff.
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Zaiger as an Admin
After the fall of ED.com to GirlVinyl's greed, the site was revived (with little help from Zaiger) and taken over by Ryan Cleary. After his involvement with Lulzsec landed him in prison, Zaiger became the De-facto owner of the site. What followed was half a decade of consistent failure, as Brian continuously mismanaged the site, leading to admin after admin quitting the website because they were sick of watching him steal users' money, talking him down from implementing moronic ideas, babysitting him every time he relapsed into alcoholism and giving him money to keep the website alive every time he spent all the ad revenue and donation money on drugs and booze.
As his alcoholism worsened, Zaiger first stopped showing up on the site altogether for over a year, which was preferable to his state when he did return, because he then began flooding ED with so many ads that it became unusable. As many stopped visiting because of fear of viruses and lack of desire to click away nearly ten porn ads every time they click anything, Zaiger began making up ever more frequent lies as an excuse to e-beg for donations, begging his staff members for money (most of whom knew he's probably stealing at least part of it but felt sorry for the sad fuck) and deleting articles belonging to lolcows like Onideus (Brian's best friend, seriously) and making them admins on the site in exchange for money, thus plunging the wiki into a 1,000-year reign of autism.
How Zaiger got our domain jacked
At some point in 2014 or something like that, ED's domain was stolen by none other than Daniel Brandt. But how? Has this retard suddenly developed actual hacking skills? NOPE! It turns out that Zaiger registered ED under a false name, and couldn't think of any other name to use besides "Daniel Brandt", a guy who's been trying to take down the site for half a decade at that point. When Brandt noticed this, he simply called up our host and claimed the website for himself.
Zaiger is retarded.
"Anonmgur" - Zaiger's Kiddie Porn Site
Anonmgur was an "anonymous image hosting site" Zaiger "created" and featured proudly on ED's header that became a collection of child porn that Zaiger refused to delete.
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Eventually he agreed to get rid of it when half the staff threatened to quit. However, at least 2 more attempts were made to revive it, at least one of which was made by Zaiger (probably both). Even at this point most of us were ready to dismiss allegations of being a kiddie diddler, but as we were scrubbing any mention of him from the site, we came across several articles where Zaiger is covertly being accused of liking kids in edits that were holdovers from ED.com, as well as one where he's quoted admitting he likes Jailbait.
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Testimonials from satisfied staff members
—ILoveJesus69 | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Zaiger gets sued on ED's behalf
In late 2017 Zaiger was sued by a serial scam artist and possible pedophile because of his ED article. A funding campaign was set up for Zaiger to hire a highly overpriced lawyer to fight a lawsuit that a dog bite attorney could have easily had dismissed. After racking up nearly $80,000 in debt, Zaiger was exposed as the thieving Jew that he is and all attempts by site members switched from trying to raise money for him to actively keeping people from donating to him and distancing his name from the site.
The lawsuit could have been avoided though. Early 2017 ED got a really serious DMCA from a lawyer who mentioned that he will sue Zaiger by name.
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Zaiger handled it so well, that he got sued for $750,000 and he barely avoided having to give away all ED domains and servers. Again, Zaiger is retarded.
Which leads us to our conclusion...
Zaiger tries to sell ED for meth money and gets kicked out
After driving away most of the technically competent staff members in 2014, Zaiger was forced to hire a random Siberian hacker to run his site for him. For a couple of years all was well (if you can call infecting every visitor with computer viruses "well"), but after Zaiger stopped paying for hosting and other services ED needs to survive, the Siberian moved all the servers to a secret location and removed all of his user privileges after realizing he was planning to pull an Ohi and sell the user's data and then the site itself, leaving him as the site's owner in name alone. However, since this was not enough to prevent him from making the site actively worse, he then took all of the virus-ridden ads and e-begging links off of the website, leading Zaiger to make ever more desperate posts on social media, begging for money "to help ED," which was actually used for alcohol and keeping himself from being kicked out of his "apartment".
Zaiger spent his final days as "admin" of this website, going from user to user and privately begging them for money, while using the account of another disgraced admin he had the password to to preform admin duties so that he doesn't have to admit he isn't the owner of his own site anymore. After this, he recruited a disgraced army vet who seems to be mentally disabled to help him create a mirror of ED and declare that this is the "real" ED (something he should have known wouldn't work, since he's laughed in the faces of other people that tried to do the exact same thing at least five times) and that we should all move there because the mean sysops stole his site.
However, when everyone aware of what's really been going on told the rest of the community that Zaiger has been stealing their money for years, everyone laughed at him and admitted they always hated the poor loser. In the end, his site only lasted for about two days and its only members were Zaiger, the disgraced army vet who abandoned Zaiger when he realized what was going on and now works for us, and Onideus who, without Zaiger's protection, was finally banned from the site and moved to Zaiger's site (this being his THIRD attempt to get revenge on ED by creating his own version of it), only to then return when the site went down and be banned one final time.
As his last, pathetic attempts to fight back, Zaiger refuses to give us back ED's social media accounts (much like Sherrod refused to give back some of ED images) and got into the admin account of the aforementioned disgraced admin who gave him his password to try and delete EDF2 after someone posted a Video of Zaiger's GF sucking big, black cock. A stunt that only managed to delete the last six months, and thereby the active voting thread for that year's EDF2 Faggot Of The Year Award, where it was being hotly discussed whether or not Zaiger qualifies, since his faggotry only occurred at the start of the new year. Having turned back time by six months, it was unanimously decided that now he does qualify and is the undisputed winner. Beating out William Atchison, a site admin who recently shot up a school and lost a fight to a couch, in levels of faggotry.
Congratulations.
We are currently prying our social media accounts out of his greedy hands one by one.
Zaiger's tale gets told on The Dick Show
—Dick on Zaiger | ||
By pure coincidence, one of ED's admins made 
a shitty video trashing Maddox and was invited to The Dick Show podcast by Dick Masterson. This was intended to be used to promote Zaiger's legal fund, but thankfully, he was exposed just two days before the interview took place. Subsequently, this ED admin instead used the opportunity to tell Dick and his tens of thousands of viewers about what a sad, thieving alcoholic Zaiger is, and encourage anyone watching not to ever give him any money. Laughing at Zaiger's pain proved to be so entertaining that it was uploaded separately as a video to Dick Youtube channel. Enjoy.
Zaiger's tale gets told by Count Dankula
—Dankula on Zaiger | ||
When Zaiger got sued and tried to pawn his legal fees off on the ED userbase, Nazi Pug guy was one of the few people to come to the aid of the glorious ED reich and make a video telling people they should donate to us. After Zaiger was kicked out, he deleted that video and took a break from getting ready for jail and made a new one explaining to everyone why Zaiger is a faggot.
Maybe they can share a cell.
The Zaiger Log
Here is a complete log of Zaiger talking to the current administration with their responses (which mostly consist of single word replies, months apart) redacted.
Use scrollbar to see the full image |
Where your Donation Money Went
Instead of putting the money he stole from you toward bettering himself in any way, Zaiger spent all the donations on destroying his six remaining brain cells with cocaine and heroin. He was shacked up in a trashed, rat-infested apartment with his 21 year old girlfriend who would secretly record him wigging out. We now know that whenever Zaiger wasn’t prancing about in women’s panties, he was bumbling around grunting like an rabid autist, or sobbing naked in an office chair while grabbing on his flaccid junk.
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Brianna
In a story that is shocking to absolutely no one, it turns out Brian “Brianna” Zaiger is secretly a degenerate cross-dressing faggot. If he got a decent pair of heels and washed his ass enough to clear up the acne, he might become a passable old Jewish lady someday. Here are some photos and a video of Brianna, who “loves cock”.
Zaiger Updates
Days after he was ousted, Zaiger was already homeless, can't find a job thanks to his years of unemployment and online history, and begging people on Facebook to PayPal him $20 because he's starving, then spending it on more booze while he squats at local coffee shops for the free Wi-Fi. He now wanders the streets of Salem, MA, saddled with a massive legal debt which was supposed to take down ED, but ended up ridding us of its worst admin, as we made him the lawsuit's patsy and kicked him to the curb.
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Feb 11, 2018 - Arrested
LOL ARRESTED
LOL ARRESTED
LOL ARRESTED
LOL ARRESTED
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LOL ARRESTED
Days after he was kicked out and sold us back the passwords to the social media accounts we couldn't steal back from him for more booze money (one of the FB group's resident sluts had her sugar daddy pay for it so that no more money goes from our users to Zaiger), Zaiger was picked up by the cops. This could be for one of many reasons. Failing to pay his child support, public intoxication, an outstanding warrant put out on him in Florida for drunk driving, drug use or just a regular homeless roundup.
Sep 19, 2018 - In jail again
After he was let out of jail, we lost track of Brian for a few months, only for him to turn up again after he stole a credit card from one of his ex girlfriends to buy heroin. After she cancelled that credit card he went back to another ex to beg to stay with her, then tried to beat her up for drug money. However, Zaiger's drug addled body was too weak to fight a woman half his size and the police were called, landing him in jail. On his way out he yelled at the woman he just attacked that she'd better come bail him out.
Zaiger is now a full-on desperate junky.
Dec 26th, 2018 - Out of jail?
Zaiger's Twitter and Facebook accounts have both come back to life after a year of inactivity.
On Twitter, Zaiger posted an image of a casting couch, complete with a camera, which means he is very likely living on a BLACKED porno shoot. He also thoughtfully uploaded a selfie of himself to Facebook, which confirms he is indeed out of both jail and closet. Thus, the only reasonable conclusion is Zaiger has finally got to achieve his life-long goal of being able to get paid via vacuuming BBC. Never can you say jail doesn't teach someone valuable outside skills (although, if we're being honest, Zaiger probably learned how to suck cock long ago.)
November 12, 2021: Back
1 
2)Recently, Zaiger came back to ED under "Brianz" (recently renamed to simply "Zaiger"). He later uploaded the file on the right, confirming he is, in fact, the real Zaiger.
Gallery
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Zaiger has an IQ of 155, and his girlfriend is retarded -
Zaiger tried to kill himself -
Zaiger's father's last words -
Zaiger thinks "Shekels" are just a myth -
Zaiger lives in squalor
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Even as he was trying to steal the site back... -
... he was trying to do it on his staff's dime. -
Conspiracy exposed! -
Zaiger doesn't like our Facebook group ;-; -
Zaiger thinks all jews look like the happy merchant -
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Zaiger being an internet tough guy and treating ED as his personal kiddie pool -
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zaiger giving privs to a chick he was trying to fuck -
Zaiger on deleting the EDsingers article -
Zaiger reviews the slum house he lives/lived in -
The building itself -
Zaiger doesn't know how to do basic things on his own site
See also
External links
The "Fuck Zaiger" thead - where we laugh at his downfall- Video of Zaiger's GF sucking black dick - This allegedly made him nuke the forum. A mirror here
- Video of Zaiger from a secret YT account - LOL look at his fucking apartment
Zaiger's LinkedIn
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Zaiger is part of a series on Drugs [Expand Your Mind] |
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Zaiger is part of a series on the Gay Nigger Association of America. |
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Zaiger is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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| Featured article February 4 and February 5, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by L0de Radio Hour |
Zaiger | Succeeded by Black History Month |
| Article of the Now July 25 and 26, 2022 | ||
| Preceded by Money |
Zaiger | Succeeded by Comic-Con |