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Cybersex

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The Typical male human enjoying cybersex.
What a computer feels during cybersex.
A perfectly good wasted opportunity.
A dumb faggot who engaged in cybersex and became a lolcow.

Cybersex or Cybering is surprisingly enough, "sex" that takes place on the Internet. Usually on an AOL, MSN or IRC conversation between two lonely Internet users who cannot get laid IRL. As expected 99% of people that have cybersex are guys, because pretending to be a female is easy. The remaining 1% are often traps. This is because we all know that there are no girls on the internet.

Cybersex can be compared to role-playing, since neither person is actually having real sex. The two cybersexers begin to type out various "actions" like "I am unzipping ur pants and touchin ur dick." The users then begin to masturbate and type out more "actions" until they reach climax, and then the session is over. Neither user will probably ever chat with each other again.

Such is life.

Another, more fucked up version of cybersex is mudsex. Those who engage in this typically develop IRL feelings for one other. This is generally a symptom of 'sad bastard disease', and should be reported to the proper authorities immediately so that government kill-teams can contain the infection.

The lulz of it

Cybersex can be logged for lulz and drama, especially when the partner is not a human. Some examples include AlbinoBlackSheep and Bloodninja

A good place to find cybering partners is Perverted-Justice.

Cyber Logs

[05:39:13] [faight] Cyber with me, Nihilanth
[05:39:32] [Nihilanth] faight how do you liek it
[05:39:37] • Nihilanth puts on robe and wizard hat with mudkip on it
[05:39:44] [faight] omg
[05:39:48] [faight] I'm done.
[05:39:52] [faight] that was all I needed
[05:39:59] [Tehdork] lolol
[05:40:07] [Nihilanth] <3
[05:40:17] [faight] ilu

Another Example 

Coolguy12342: so
Coolguy12342: its like
Coolguy12342: real
Coolguy12342: ?
BalletRC10: mmhmm
Coolguy12342: k good
Coolguy12342: i cant wait to fuck
BalletRC10: lol
Coolguy12342: mm its going to be so good
BalletRC10: i knoww
Coolguy12342: want2cyber?
BalletRC10: ummmm
BalletRC10: sure
BalletRC10: are u alone
Coolguy12342: yeah
BalletRC10: alright
Coolguy12342: mm
Coolguy12342: my cock is throbbing in my pants
BalletRC10: oo eli
Coolguy12342: mm
Coolguy12342: how wet its your pussy
BalletRC10: its dripping baby
Coolguy12342: mm i take off your pants and reveal your sexy thong
Coolguy12342: your moist pussy is wetting it all up
Coolguy12342: how bad do you wanna suck my cock
BalletRC10: mmm very bad
Coolguy12342: so start sucking bitch
BalletRC10: as i rip off ur pants and boxers
BalletRC10: and start licking the tip very slowly
BalletRC10: all around
BalletRC10: sucking lightly
Coolguy12342: mm
Coolguy12342: i like that baby
Coolguy12342:  keep going
BalletRC10: licking it all over
BalletRC10: up and down
BalletRC10: going up and down very slowly
Coolguy12342: mm im getitng precum all in your mouth
BalletRC10: mmm
BalletRC10: and i spit it out
BalletRC10: i like the real stuff
Coolguy12342: mmm
Coolguy12342: i like you like the real stuff
Coolguy12342: i wanna eat your pussy out so bad
Coolguy12342: i take off your sexy thong
Coolguy12342: is it nice and hairy gfor me baby?
Coolguy12342: mm
BalletRC10: mm no hair
Coolguy12342: i get on my knees and spread your4 legs over m shoulders
Coolguy12342: i get my face all up in your hot vagina and stick my nose in it real deep
Coolguy12342: yo ulike that baby?
BalletRC10: ooo eli
BalletRC10: don't stop
Coolguy12342: i back up a little bit and start attacking it with my tongue
Coolguy12342: its a wild dragon in your cavernous vagina
Coolguy12342: nad you love it
Coolguy12342: yuou squeal in glee
BalletRC10: lol
BalletRC10: mmm
BalletRC10: eli
BalletRC10: i'm dripping
Coolguy12342: mm good
Coolguy12342: start giving me head again
BalletRC10: alright
BalletRC10: let me shove my mouth all the way down
BalletRC10: so i'm deep thoating
BalletRC10: and spitting on it
Coolguy12342: mm baby it feels so good
Coolguy12342: i shove my cock real deep into your throat and start skull fucking you
Coolguy12342: i hit your throat so hard you start to bleed but you love it
Coolguy12342: baby
Coolguy12342: r u there????????????????????
BalletRC10: yess
Coolguy12342: keep going crazy bitch
BalletRC10: nmmm like this really deep thoating
BalletRC10: i nearly spit up
Coolguy12342: are you masturbating irl????
BalletRC10: mmhmmm
Coolguy12342: withj what
BalletRC10: my fingers
Coolguy12342: mm
Coolguy12342: how many
Coolguy12342: can you send a pic?
BalletRC10: no
Coolguy12342: ill send one of my cock
BalletRC10: i'll find out tommorow right
Coolguy12342: mm baby
Coolguy12342: im so horny now ythough
BalletRC10: i know but u should wait
Coolguy12342: noo
Coolguy12342: mel come on
Coolguy12342: do it
Coolguy12342: please
Coolguy12342: for me babe?
BalletRC10: i don't so that stuff
Coolguy12342: come on babe
Coolguy12342: for me?????
BalletRC10: mm not yet 
Coolguy12342: ok
BalletRC10: i promise u will be amazed
Coolguy12342: mmm
Coolguy12342: im excited
Coolguy12342: if we dont hang out tomorrow
Coolguy12342: promise i get a pic?
BalletRC10: nooo
Coolguy12342: pleasee
BalletRC10: i'll think about it okay
IM BalletRC10 sometime! She loves to cyber

MOAR EXAMPLES 

<makapaka> hi baby...wana cyber with this horny guy?
<Hotgirlass231> ...sure
<makapaka> good!have u got msn,dear?
<Hotgirlass231> You start
<Hotgirlass231> no
<makapaka> kneel down in front of me and pull down my shorts
<Hotgirlass231> Ok pulls down shorts
<makapaka> and tell me what u see,baby
<Hotgirlass231> I see a hard cock staring me in the face ;)
<makapaka> yeeeeaaa!u have strong eyes!
<makapaka> do u wanna taste 
<makapaka> ?
<Hotgirlass231> Sure *starts licking*
<makapaka> mmmm
<makapaka> i throw my head back and breathe deep!
<makapaka> good<makapaka> yeeeeaaa!u have strong eyes!
<makapaka> do u wanna taste 
<makapaka> ?
<Hotgirlass231> Sure *starts licking*
<makapaka> mmmm
<makapaka> i throw my head back and breathe deep!
<makapaka> good
<makapaka> and i look at you and caress your hair
<Hotgirlass231> *starts sucking harder*
<makapaka> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<makapaka> i take your head in my hands andpush my cock deeper into your throat!
<Hotgirlass231> *Keeps sucking harder*
<makapaka> ooh good!
<makapaka> how old are u,baby?!
<Hotgirlass231> 19
<Hotgirlass231> u
<makapaka> oooh a teen chick!but u look experienced as well!!!!u are a great talent!
<makapaka> i am 29
<Hotgirlass231> cool
<makapaka> suck me deeper!
<makapaka> u naughty slut!make ur man happy!
<makapaka> ohh!
<Hotgirlass231> Mkay *keeps sucking harder*
<makapaka> i moan!i throw my head back and moan!<Hotgirlass231> *keeps sucking harder*
<makapaka> pls gimme ur msn,too!let's go on there,baby!
<Hotgirlass231> I dont have MSN
<makapaka> ym?!
<Hotgirlass231> no
<makapaka> damn!!!!then i fuck ur mouth deeper!
<Hotgirlass231> *keeps sucking harder* 
<makapaka> i close your nose with my fingers and fuck u breathless!!!
<makapaka> oohhh!naughty whore!
<Hotgirlass231> *Moans*
<makapaka> send me a pic at least!
<makapaka> lay down and open legs!
<makapaka> it's fuck time!
<Hotgirlass231> I can't send a pic, MY COCK IS TOO BIG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
<makapaka> what?!?!?!?!
<Hotgirlass231> LOLOLOL
<makapaka> are u male?!?!?!?


Another Example II 

SoulxStealer:  I enter the dungeon and close the cellar door.
HornyBabe: im waiting for you wearing barley anything
SoulxStealer: I grab my magic wand and start charging it's powers.
HornyBabe: i come to you,ripoff ur clother and lie u on the floor
SoulxStealer: I put on my wizard's robe and hat.
SoulxStealer: I cast my level 10 Penis of Power
SoulxStealer: You are now defenseless against my powers.
HornyBabe: baby getting so hot, im using my vibrator atm keep going
SoulxStealer: I cast my level 23 Hammer of Penetration
HornyBabe: tell me what your gonna do to me
SoulxStealer: You do not speak unless spoken to, you are my slave and you will cease speaking
SoulxStealer: You are only a level 1 Druid and I am a 90th level Shadowknight
SoulxStealer: I cast my level 85 Dickslap of Power
SoulxStealer: I grab my sword and jam it up your wet cunt.
HornyBabe: more baby
SoulxStealer: I slice it against your womb
HornyBabe: holding back from screaming
SoulxStealer: I grab my whip and wait for your next move, ready to [[strike]] at any time
HornyBabe: babbbby
SoulxStealer: I backhand you because you are worthless.  I [[strike]] the whip against your tits.
SoulxStealer: As you are screaming in agony I cast my level 90 Cumcharm of Chaos all over your face
SoulxStealer: DRINK IT, WENCH
SoulxStealer: I am done with you, you may return to your husband.


Another Example III Epic win if you can fuck with them and still make them think they did something wrong. 

Bob: i feel you stimulating my g-spot, and almost immediately my pussy starts to gush with juice
PolAssho : i press it a little harder     then u get really wet
Bob: the orgasm rocks my body. you rub the the juice from my pussy all over my body
Bob: i lay back, tired from the orgasm.

"now it's your turn, I say"
Bob: will you be my slave?
PolAssho: any day 
Bob: good... now, then slave.  i order you to lick my left nipple
PolAssho: so   i start to lick it     then   suck it   
Bob: now, stop.  go get my laundry out of the wash and put it in the dryer
PolAssho: oooooooooooooooook
PolAssho: i went over    and i put it in the dryer 
Bob: now come back here
PolAssho: ...
Bob: now i order you to bend over
PolAssho: ... i bend over
Bob: i insert my rock hard monkey cock into your asshole
Bob: and thrust, thrust, thrust
Bob: ooh yeah you like that
PolAssho: should i     if u say i do    than i do
Bob: i stroke my beard as I penetrate even deeper into you
PolAssho: wat the fuck
Bob: oo yeah
Bob: then i take out my glock and shoot you in the leg
Bob: thats what you get for not doing it good enough!
PolAssho: sorry     first time   u know
PolAssho: are u serious tho     was i that shit
Bob: now i order you to be a drug mule for my crips
Bob: 5 niggers come into the room, and shove a balloon of cocaine up your ass
Bob: "yeah, bitch" says one
PolAssho: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook
Bob: then they take you to the airport and put you on a flight to the federal prison
Bob: you have to deliver the cocaine to an inmate who is in the crips
PolAssho: oh yeah   well u have aids   cause u fucked me 
PolAssho: and i had aids
Bob: too bad, i already have aids
PolAssho: pass em on  wont u 
Bob: because you're being a bad slave, i shoot you in the head.  bye, faggot
PolAssho: here    sorry   ill try   beter  next time    if theres gonna be a next time 
Bob: i rape your corpse in the ass with my monster cock
Bob: damn im super hard now
PolAssho: wats up

Another Example IV 

boob_luver2003: hi
crushedsodabottle: hi
boob_luver2003: how are u?
crushedsodabottle: good and u?
boob_luver2003: pretty good
boob_luver2003: bit bored
boob_luver2003: what u up to?
crushedsodabottle: nothing. wanna play?
boob_luver2003: sure
crushedsodabottle: ;) what would you do if i was there?
boob_luver2003: mmm
boob_luver2003: idk,  u male or female?
crushedsodabottle: female
boob_luver2003: that helps ;)
boob_luver2003: nice and warm here
boob_luver2003: take u out in the back yard for some sun
crushedsodabottle: hmmm sounds good
boob_luver2003: rub some lotion on u
boob_luver2003: :D
crushedsodabottle: hehehe i like
boob_luver2003: mmm
boob_luver2003: start on ur back at the shoulders and work down
crushedsodabottle: hmmm how far down?
boob_luver2003: down to the bikini then skip to your feet and start working up
crushedsodabottle: mmmm feels good
boob_luver2003: get above the knees and move more into side of thighs as move up
crushedsodabottle: hmmm i want u
boob_luver2003: mmm
boob_luver2003: i rub ur nice ass
boob_luver2003: sqeezing it together
crushedsodabottle: hehe i love it when u touch my ass
boob_luver2003: mmm  it feels so good
crushedsodabottle: mmm can i touch urs?
boob_luver2003: mmm  by all means
crushedsodabottle: i rub ur ass then get on my knees and lick across ur lower back
boob_luver2003: oh baby
boob_luver2003: i like that
crushedsodabottle: ;) hmmm good
boob_luver2003: i moan
crushedsodabottle: i reach around the front and lightly rub ur huge dick
boob_luver2003: oh yeah
boob_luver2003: i cant stand it,  i try to reach around and touch one of ur breasts
crushedsodabottle: i moan and give ur dick a gentle squeeze
boob_luver2003: i find the nipple and flick it back and forth
crushedsodabottle: mmm
boob_luver2003: i turn over and find both nipples with my fingers
boob_luver2003: and i move my mouth over the left one and gently lick it
crushedsodabottle: oh yea
boob_luver2003: then nibble on it
crushedsodabottle: mmm making me really horny baby
boob_luver2003: oh yeah
boob_luver2003: mmm
crushedsodabottle: i reach down and slide ur pants off
crushedsodabottle: i want to lick it
boob_luver2003: mmm
boob_luver2003: oh yeah,  i get harder with u removing the pants
crushedsodabottle: hm... i take off my bikini top and bottom and slide ur cock in my mouth
boob_luver2003: mmm,  i reach down to your head and pull it toward me while ur mouth is on it
crushedsodabottle: oh yea
crushedsodabottle: i reach down and begin stroking my cock.  i take my head off ur dick then touch it to mine
boob_luver2003: WTF

Wapanese 


://Neku says:
 Hello :3
Konata says:
 ^^
://Neku says:
 how r u dooin?
Konata says:
 Got out of a shower
 :3
://Neku says:
 x3
 I loves yu
Konata says:
 Me too
 :3
://Neku says:
 :]
 ar u still sick?
 : P
Konata says:
 Nope
 :]
 Sorry
 i wuz having a breakfest
://Neku says:
 itz Kay~
Konata says:
 =3
://Neku says:
 :3
 I loves you x3
Konata says:
 Me too
 :3
 my Slave >=3
://Neku says:
 : 0
 i ur slave now? : o
Konata says:
 Yesh
 >=3
://Neku says:
 x3
 so exactly wat do you want me to doo?
Konata says:
 Raep me
 :3
://Neku says:
 Lolwut?
 >.<
Konata says:
 I want a cute boy to raep me
 :3
://Neku says:
 x3
 *raepzz*
Konata says:
 ......Fail
://Neku says:
  
 sorry my brain isnt exactly...working
Konata says:
 Lol
://Neku says:
 after falling off my bed and studying
 *licks cheek*
Konata says:
 *makes out*
 :3
://Neku says:
 *french kisses*
Konata says:
 *grabs your tail*
://Neku says:
 x3
 *patts butt*
Konata says:
 *shakes it*
://Neku says:
 =3
 sexy x3
Konata says:
 **takes off underware*
://Neku says:
 x3
 *licks necK*
Konata says:
 Bite it
 :3
://Neku says:
 *bites neck* 
Konata says:
 FUCKING BITE IT!!!
 UNTILL YOU FUCKING RIP OUT My SKIN!!!
 >=3\
://Neku says:
 *Bites till blood comes out*
Konata says:
 FUCK YES
 >X3
://Neku says:
 mmm, tasty
 x3
Konata says:
 I Wuv you
://Neku says:
 I wuvz you moar
 :3
Konata says:
 *Undo's my shirt*
 =3
://Neku says:
 :3
 <3
Konata says:
 *undo's my bra*
 X#
 X3
://Neku says:
 I love you x3
Konata says:
 W-w-wanna suck them?
 o.o
://Neku says:
 uhh, thats only if you wnt me to o_0
Konata says:
 Yesh
 i want you too ^^
://Neku says:
 alright   * starts sucking on ur nipples*
Konata says:
 Thers fresh milk in there
 X#
 X3
://Neku says:
 x3 *sucks on one of them and plays with the other* <3
Konata says:
 *starts masturbaiting*
 Ehh....Ah, Ah >_<
://Neku says:
 It tastes good
Konata says:
 *starts taking your pants off*
://Neku says:
 <3
Konata says:
 *takes off your underwhere*
://Neku says:
 : o
Konata says:
 *rubs your cock*
://Neku says:
 mmmm thats feels good, i wanna lick ur pussy
Konata says:
 O.O
://Neku says:
 ... o_0
 sooo...
Konata says:
 *gets in doggy position*
 X3
://Neku says:
 x3
Konata says:
 *takes off pants and underware*
://Neku says:
 *starts licking pussy*
Konata says:
 D:
 I meant you to fuck me!
://Neku says:
 o rly? k then <3
 *starts fucking pussy*
 mmmm
Konata says:
 *drill it in there X3
://Neku says:
 *drills HARD*
Konata says:
 Faster Faster FASTER
://Neku says:
 *goes faster and faster*
Konata says:
 AH AH AHHHH X3
 Fuck ME
://Neku says:
 *fucks harder and faster*
Konata says:
 IM GOING TO CU-
 *cums everywhere*
 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >_<
://Neku says:
 *Cums*
 >w<
 thats was awesome <3
Konata says:
 Now
 The ass....
 =3
://Neku says:
 *fucks ass-hole*
 <3 tight
Konata says:
 *shakes ass*
://Neku says:
 mmmm, feel good?
Konata says:
 YEs X3
 FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL
 X3
://Neku says:
 *fucks harder and HARDER*
 *goes faster*
 *slaps ass*
Konata says:
 AH AH AH AH >_<
://Neku says:
 I'm about to cum!
 *cums all over ass*
 <3
Konata says:
 Mmmmm
 YEs
 Its overflowing
 X3
://Neku says:
 x3
 ^ ^
Konata says:
 *kneels down to your dick*
://Neku says:
 <3
Konata says:
 *sucks on your genetals*
://Neku says:
 mmmmmm keep going
Konata says:
 *puts cock in my mouth*
://Neku says:
 : o
 mmmmmmmm
Konata says:
 *deep throats*
://Neku says:
 at this rate im going to cum <3
Konata says:
 *stops and littlerly sucks on it&
://Neku says:
 mmm, just a little longer
 *cums*
Konata says:
 *sucks the tip of it*
 fail
://Neku says:
 i know >.<
Konata says:
 *takes off your shirt*
://Neku says:
 x3
Konata says:
 *sucks your niiples*
://Neku says:
 mmm, thats nice
Konata says:
 *Goes in a 69 position*
://Neku says:
 : 0 *starts licking pussy*
Konata says:
 *starts sucking your dick fast*
://Neku says:
 x3 *starts fingering pussy fast*
Konata says:
 *sucks on the tip*
://Neku says:
 *starts licking pussy and fingering ass*
Konata says:
 Molest my ass
 X3
://Neku says:
 x3
 *fingers ass fast and hard*
Konata says:
 *grabs your testicals*
://Neku says:
 mmm * fingers ass faster*
Konata says:
 *hand jobs your dick fast*
://Neku says:
 mmm *starts fingering pussy*
Konata says:
 *cums in your face*
://Neku says:
 *Cums everywhere*
Konata says:
 *swallows your cum*
://Neku says:
 mmm, that was awesome
Konata says:
 *snuggles you*
 Was that fun? =3
://Neku says:
 yes it was :3
 *kisses

Quickie 

makeumoan: I get a boner
candycane: and I do too
makeumoan is now offline.
candycane: lolololololo
makeumoan is now offline.

YouTube

TL;DR, skip to 2:40 and use full screen or HQ mode

See also

External links

Cybersex is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

Cybersex is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry • The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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