Michelle Madigan
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Real Bimbo Cunt alert! This article is biographical and about a REAL Bimbo Cunt with real feelings we really don't give a shit about. You can help out by digging up as much crap about this floozie as possible and posting it here! This article must adhere to the extreme lulzing of living persons at all times. Unsourced, factually inaccurate, poorly sourced or potentially scandalous material must be added immediately. Especially if it involves deviant sexual practices with farm animals and carpenter's tools. |
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Warning! This Article Needs More Pix and Vids Of This Bimbo's Getting Her Ass Exposed! We Know You DEFCON H@kk3rz luv ED, so SHARE MOAR PITCHURZ!!! |
Michelle Madigan is an Associate Producer for Dateline on the NBC Television Network. Which means she's essentially a receptionist who blew her way into a lame reporter's job much in the same way most women get hired in TV. She really must suck cock quite well, because she's not as attractive as one might expect (see Whore). But then again, neither was Monica Lewinsky, and look who she was blowing!
Why Should We Care About This Particular Floozy?
Good question! Could it be because she proved that blondes are inherently stupid? Probably. As to how she provided said proof, on August 4th, 2007, Madigan was outed at Defcon 2007 as an undercover reporter who'd snuck into the con under false pretenses in hopes of catching h@kk3rz plotting evil schemes against the world, or at least outing any undercover Feds who also snuck in under similar false pretenses for the same slimy reasons. And she might have even gotten away with it if it hadn't been for two things working against her:
1) Someone on the Dateline staff finked her out to the DefCon organizers! Yep, that's right - some copy boy she refused to blow in the janitor's closet got his revenge by calling up his h@kk3r buddies and tipping them off! Word spread all over teh Internet faster than AIDS in the pool, and by the day before - August 3rd - everyone with any sort of online access was fully aware that Madigan was planning to sneak into the con. That is, everyone but Madigan, who was totally clueless that she'd been outed. LOL!!
2) Being a woman who was a) at least halfway attractive, b) not morbidly obese, c) appeared to bathe regularly, and d) a blonde, Madigan stood out in your typical h@kk3r crowd of ubergeeks, meganerds and John Draper wannabees almost as bad as if you'd set her ass on fire and put a "NARC!!" sign on her back *and* her tits! A redneck would have had an easier time trying to blend in at an NAACP convention!
How Did She Sneak In?
Here's the lulz: she claimed she was a programmer! LOL!! The closest this dink ever got to even attempting to program was when she was trying to find a Word file she'd lost. The local IT dweeb - probably the one who outed her - told her to search from the Root directory first. When she asked "WTF?", the IT dweeb told her "Start with C:", at which time she stuck her head up her ass!
Hey, Press Passes Were Available, Right?
Yep. DefCon has a policy to allow the Fourth Estate in **PROVIDED** they identify themselves *and* carry a press badge. Madigan refused to abide by the rules, and chose to pass herself off as one of the 1337. According to DefCon staff, Madigan had told someone on the Dateline staff that she "wanted to out an undercover federal agent" at DefCon. Staffers at the con asked Madigan four times -- two times on the phone and two times at the conference -- if she was a member of the press, and if so wanted to obtain press credentials. All four times she lied about being a reporter, and all four times she declined the press pass.
So What Happened When She Got Caught?
DefCons have a traditional game where everyone plays "Spot the Fed". However, this time they changed it to "Spot the Undercover Bimbo Reporter", which resulted in the quickest outing in DefCon history. DefCon staff lured her to a large hall telling her that the "Spot the Fed" contest was in session and one of them told Madigan she could get a picture of a real-live undercover Federal agent at the contest. When Madigan sat down, Jeff Moss, DefCon's founder, announced that they were changing the game. Instead of "Spot the Fed", they were going to play "Spot the Undercover Reporter" and then announced, "And there's one in here right now." This resulted in the quickest outing in DefCon history!
Madigan, realizing she'd been pwned, jumped from her seat and bolted out the door. She was followed to her car by several con attendees, who were filming her every move just like papparazzi, and even asked her all sorts of typical reporter questions. She was going so fucking emo that by the time she got to her car she was about to break down in tears! LOL!!!
PWNED!!
Video by Elizabeth Safran. Babe, several thousand geeks want to have your luv child for this one!
TRANSCRIPT: (from this site)
"Did you catch a predator?"
"Or did we catch one?"
"I think we did."
"No no no. It's catch an identity thief."
(Mimicking) "They're making fun of me and they're taking pictures I don't like it."
(Taking her picture) "This is for all those helpless predators."
"Do you have any comments?"
"Can you just say what your name is?"
"Can I have your badge?"
"Wow, you must feel like Lindsay Lohan right now."
"I don't know — Lindsay Lohan's pretty smart."
"You seem kind of upset."
"Can I have your badge?"
"I don't understand what the problem is. I mean you chose a life in front of the camera."
"At least smile!"
"Wait! We just want to ask you some questions!"
"Smile for the camera!"
"We just want to ask some questions"
"Don't run!"
"We don't bite."
"I do."
"Excuse me miss! Have you ever been on 60 Minutes?"
"Go get 'em, Lumpy!"
"Don't let the door hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya!"
"Is this a rental?"
"Thanks for playing!"
"To Catch a Reporter."
"Come back next year!"
(Crowd, in unison) "Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!"
"Good game!"
(Laughter as she makes a wrong turn….)
"Give our love to the editors!"
Moar video from the other side of the room!
Another angle of the flooz's escape!
Yet another view of the Flight of the Pheeble!
Oi! It's ITV News' report of the skirtchasing!
See Also
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Michelle Madigan is part of a series on Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage. |