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Synnergy
Synnergy is a 23 year old fat beaner attention whore who lives on teh internets, and apart from flying to meet this month's boyfriend who she met through IRC, has not left her house in a very long time.
Her Battle with Obesity
She is the saddest type of fatty, for rather than having the grace to at least describe herself as a BBW, she claims to be 'tiny'. While anyone with half a brain who has seen her pictures would be able to tell you that she is indeed fat, there are still a number of people who are deceived by her. However, as is evident from logs of her chatting, she subconsciously knows that she is fat. This is obvious in the following excerpt, where she (typically) begins a story about a traumatic experience, then proceeds to unwittingly admit that she is fat:
<LULZ> did anyone else get spiked that night? <Synnergy> all 3 of us <Synnergy> I was the worst tho cuz I'm tiny
<LULZ> all girls say they are fat <Sinderella> actually <Sinderella> fat girls think they are skinny <Sinderella> skinny girls think they are fat
And that's the truth.
Social Life
Synnergy (also known as Sinderella, Cunt Druncula and Heather), spends all her time on IRC's undernet, and Yahoo Instant Messenger. This is made possible due to her lifesaving training as a nurse. While she claims on MySpace to be a CNA/In Home Health Care Nurse, in reality she is paid by the government to look after her invalid mother. It is worth noting that the actual job title is In Home Health Assistant, but that gets you much less respect than calling yourself a nurse - even if on the same MySpace page you list becoming a nurse as something you EVENTUALLY plan on doing. In essence, like most people on irc, while claiming to have a profession, she is in reality just supported by a disability. Not only is she supported by her dying mother financially, but luckily for her filthy Vicodin addicted ass, when she runs out of her own painkillers, she has full access to her mother's stash.
In her role as In Home Health Assistant, she can rarely leave her mother's side, except of course to score drugs and suck cock. However, recently she went on a family vacation, and she felt that the fact that she would be away from her computer would worry people (like they would care). This led her to announce a week and a half in advance, that she would be away for three days.
Feb 7th <Synnergy> Just so everyone knows <Synnergy> imma be gone for 3 days <Synnergy> Leaving Feb 18th <Synnergy> To the 21st <Synnergy> I'm renting a cabin in the mtns for 3 days <Synnergy> 100 bux a day <Synnergy> No t.v. <Synnergy> No internet <Synnergy> No phone <Synnergy> :(((( <Synnergy> imma die <Synnergy> it will be fun tho <ROFL> OMFG <ROFL> NO INTERWEBS?
And upon her return...
<Synnergy> I'M HOME! <Synnergy> So, was I missed? <LOL> sure <Synnergy> omg no internet for 3 days SUX <Synnergy> it was fun tho <Synnergy> I'm trying to catch up <Synnergy> Had to read the buffers <LULZ> you're reading 3 days worht of buffers? <Synnergy> Yes lol
Synnergy as an Hero
However, her skills as a nurse are undeniable, as is evident from the following incident:
<Synnergy> We saved a life to night <Synnergy> thx to my muirsing sikills <Synnergy> tomight was craxy <Synnergy> this guy got in a fitht <Synnergy> and was touching my ass <Synnergy> and trying to kiss me <Synnergy> neal notcied his bleeding <Synnergy> so i took control <Synnergy> and dealt wif it <Synnergy> drunk alnd all <Synnergy> i had blood all over me <Synnergy> thank god i am a nurse <Synnergy> or i woulda paniched
And the full (sober) version of the story:
<Synnergy> I was drunkered! So as the night continues at Normal Bar I meet some random guy at the bar who attempts to feel me up HAH I'm like wtf! He follows me around throughout the night...still attempting to feel me up. ANYWAYS, during the night there were 4 fights...one fight in the street which was 4 guys on one THEN another fight outside the bar which ended up with 2 guys breaking the window with their bodies...I didn't see the other <Synnergy> SOOOOO I'm talking to this guy named Tom when all of a sudden my groper comes up and get's in the middle of me and Tom and AGAIN attempts to feel me up when all of a sudden I notice his hand is bleeding like crazy I then become slightly soberish, go into nurse mode, grab napkins, put pressure on his hand while keeping it elevated... ALLLLLLL WHILE HE IS CONTINUING TRYING TO GROPE ME hahaha <Synnergy> SO the blood isn't stopping and he isn't particapating at all so my friend and I get him in the car and run him to the ER, check him in (I guess he was one of the guys in the fights) I finally got the bleeding to stop and THEN dood pukes all over me ...TWICE! So I am now covered in his blood and vomit UGH. Long story short they cleaned him up and put him in the drunk tank heh 'poor guy' So yes it was an INTERESTING night to say t <Synnergy> PLUS I broke my toy <Synnergy> toe* <Synnergy> And that is my V-day story *bows* <LOL> you shoulda kicked him in the ballls 2 gropes earlier <LOL> then you woulda saved him from getting his ass whooped and yacking and bleeding on you <LOL> plus you wouldnt have swapped more fluids than sex :P
Pretty damn good for someone with no formal training.
An Hero Needs Saving
Soon afterwords, in a staggering turn of events, the following emergency message was relayed to all her acquaintances, of course, on IRC:
<pignose> Okay. I got a relay message. <pignose> "Tell everyome I am at the hospital and I am fine." --Sinderella/Heather <pignose> and sinthetek, Please /msg me <pignose> hurt. She overdosed last night. They lost her in the ambulance once, until she came around after a narcodan IV. * WVirginian ([email protected]) has joined #narcotics <WVirginian> heather died in the ambulance... they revived her.. she's fine now <pignose> I dont want to get into too many details. I was not told to relay other stuffs. <pignose> She's still alittle slurry. <jew> what did she OD on <pignose> jew, I am not sure if she wants people to know that. <pignose> I'd rather let her tell you. <WVirginian> im on the phone with her. all of you need to shut the fuck up about it. <wiseman> okay im gonna call it, Miss Synn has not ODs and is looking for a response
This is not the first time she has claimed to have died, and over the following weeks her story changed a number of times, indicating the reliability of her story.
Love Life
Synnergy is a sexual predator who preys on young men who are new to IRC, and have not yet learnt the dangers of internet disease. Other times, the men she meets are just sad fucks who will date anything with a pulse.
When asked about her dating techniques, she has been known to become quite defensive.
<LOL> Sindy, whose your b/f now? <Sinderella> I'm not sayingad <LULZt> Sinderella why do you have relationships with people on irc? that's weird innit <LOL> Sindy, how many b/f's have you had on IRC? <LOL> I ran out of fingers to count on <Sinderella> I've only dated 3 dumbass <-------ROFL LIES <LOL> Sinderella why don't you find men offline <LOL> is there something deficient about you? <LOL> Sinderella two things i noticed about you... 1] you said i was cute and hot and stuff... 2] you meet men on irc <LOL> those two things are highly abnormal i'd say <Sinderella> I don't just meet ppl to date them <Sinderella> I'm visiting someone <Sinderella> I don't see the need to talk about my personal life or things I choose to do with my life or others from irl or irc with you and the whole chan <LOL> dude, i'm not trying to bring her down.. i've recently become interested in online relationships so i figured i'd ask <LOL> i'm interested in learning about them.. not having them <LOL> if you're bothered by my questions, maybe you feel ashamed about what you're doing <Sinderella> I'm doing nothing wrong <Sinderella> I just don't wanna talk about what I do in my spare time or how I like to meet ppl <LOL> so you met this guy online right? <Sinderella> If I met the guy irl I still wouldnt wanna answer shit <Sinderella> I'm not going n e where I just refuse to discuss my dating life with the channel and u <Sinderella> We met and we get along great <Sinderella> I think internet dating is a plus....... <Sinderella> It does have its pros and cons <Sinderella> You get to know the person on a more intellectual level rather then just being physically attracted to them right off the bat <Sinderella> Theres more communication when you meet someone online because all you have are ur words and txt until you meet irl if u decide to <Sinderella> The media and society have ppl brainwashed into thinking what the perfect guy or girl should look like <LOL> like me right Sinderella?
Despite her efforts as a pioneer of internet dating, she still complains about being unlucky in love. However, to anyone who has known her for longer than five minutes, this is ridiculous, as an unnamed gentleman from West Virginia has been professing his undying love for her for at least 100 years. He even planned a wedding and honeymoon for them, and was even planning on moving out of his grandmother's basement so that they could be together. The most likely explanation for the reasoning behind this is his long-term DXM abuse, which has resulted in significant cognitive impairment. Despite continual displays of his undying devotion, Synnergy still complains that she cannot find love.
Jungle Fever
However, it seemed that Synnergy's luck had changed when she met a black dude by the name of sinthetek. It seemed too good to be true: he had a job, drugs, and was willing to fly her out to North Carolina to visit him - all within weeks of meeting her. She was smitten and finally believed she had found true love She visited him for three weeks in what turned out to be possibly the world's longest booty call. However, upon her return to Butte County, CA, she became insecure about their relationship, and realised that in her drugged out stupor, she may have forgotten to use proper contraception. OH NOES!!!!!!11
This information was slowly revealed in the same manner as all good internet gossip. At first people thought it was a joke, and brought it up as such. But overreaction on her behalf confirmed that she is indeed due to pollute the gene pool with a beaner-niglet, which will probably be brain damaged due to its exposure to copious amounts of drugs during pregnancy. To add even more drama to the situation, in true nigger style, sinthetek is denying that the child is his, and no longer speaking to her. A typical conversation regarding the situation is as follows:
<Prima> she is going to be the single mother of a nigger lol <Prima> he denies being the father <Prima> i smell maury <Secunda> lollerballz <Secunda> yeah she is so starved for attention <Secunda> and he tells her he loves her <Secunda> so she fucked the shit out of him for 2 weeks straight <Secunda> and now that he is trying to nig his way out of the conception, he still says he loves her but he doesn't want to have a relationship <Secunda> so he can fuck other girls and not be cheating or some shit <Secunda> and she ooo so desperately wants to be with him... even after he was like... "well its probably not mine, you just want it to be mine" <Secunda> but we all know syn never gets the dick and that was the first time in years probably
And that's the truth. Sorry, nigger, but you won't get out of this one that easily.
Centipedes in her vagina
The following conversation was recently observed, indicating that besides a nigger baby growing in there, there are indeed centipedes in synnergy's vagina. How this will affect the pregnancy remains unknown.
<shitstirrer> Don't panic. Studies show that 1 out of 3 women have centipedes or centipede- like-creatures in their vaginas. <ROFL> Sindy, are you one of the 3? <Sinderella> uhhh no ROFL <ROFL> Sindy, Has anyone in here verified that? <Sinderella> sinthetek <Sinderella> Did I have creatures in my vagina? <ROFL> Notice he isn't saying anything <sinthetek> i need some calomine lotion, these bites all over my cock are driving me crazy <Sinderella> look sin <sinthetek> don't laugh, this is YOUR fault!@#! <Sinderella> http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Centipede_filled_vagina <Sinderella> Well, you gave me herpes so I think we are even
Initial Contact with ED
In early 2007, an EDiot got hold of a candid picture of Synnergy wearing only a bra, which had previously been featured on a website. The picture was contrasted with one which she had taken herself, and can be viewed in its original form here. This is of some significance, because until this time, only images she had made herself were released on the internets. When this image was brought to her attention, she panicked and logged into ED IRC, offering to trade information on her ex-boyfriend (whom she met, of course, on IRC), to have the picture removed. She claimed that it was taken without her knowledge, that it was photoshopped, and gave any number of other pathetic reasons why she might have suddenly gained 85lbs when viewed through a camera lens which she did not control.
Her initial reaction when the image was released - to quit IRC forever of course. It should come as no surprise that this is not the first time that channel regulars became excited when she has offered to leave.
<Sinderella> Can you plz change the topic in that chan <Sinderella> the pic was taken by accident <Sinderella> I was changing <Sinderella> my friend snapped a photo <Sinderella> We were drinking <Sinderella> it was a joke <Sinderella> I'm pissed <Sinderella> Because now it's all over the internet <Sinderella> it's fucked <Sinderella> It's all good <Sinderella> imma leave irc anyways <Sinderella> I don't need this bs <Sinderella> I'm tired of ppl causing shit <Sinderella> I come here to chat
The following are a few examples of her change in tone following the release of this image:
<Synnergy> You can tell I'm not fat by the cleavage pic if you look at my arm <Synnergy> DO YOU SEE FAT ON MY ARM
<Synnergy> BUT HELLO <Synnergy> Where is the fat? <Synnergy> Having an ass and big tits doesn't make you a fatty <---LOL
As part of the deal to have her picture removed, she agreed to have one of her other MySpace pictures posted in its place. She was OK with this deal, because the picture was so flattering.
<Synnergy> That is me getting ready for the trike race <LOL> rofl..thats a great pic <Synnergy> It's horrific, but thx <Synnergy> I look fat and retarded <LUlZ> i thought it was a good pic of you synn
<Synnergy> OMG the trike pic owns <Synnergy> That is so going on myspace
Nine out of ten EDiots agree, the trike pic does indeed own.
Contact Information
If you would like to contact Heather for any reason, whether to encourage her to abort the demon she has growing inside her, or if you are just a chubby chaser who wants a guilt free fuck, you can reach her in the following ways:
Gallery
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This is another way she catches her men
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You think you can rape me before I rape you?
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Maybe I can hide my blubber under a blanket?
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LOL What's that on your lip?
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Sucking the soul out of a nigger.
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Nigger just got laid. Oh yeah.
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Synnergy about to get raped.
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LOL SHOOPED
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It seems gravity brought these two together.
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You dont have enough hair to hide your chin, darling.
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Synnergy in sexual predator mode.
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One of her former lovers recounts the tale.
Featured article June 24, 2007 | ||
Preceded by Overclocked ReMix |
Synnergy | Succeeded by Chris Benoit |