Native

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Native looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Put DAT MONEY in mah hand NOW!

Native //neɪtɪv// From French natif, from Latin nativus, from natus, ‘birth’.

Adjective

Or Else!

1. Characteristic of or relating to people inhabiting a region from prehistoric times who receive money checks Cash american -- fundage and such for their ancestors having been pwnt by evil squatters.

Noun

1. A person who is descended from people who squatted the land first, making it theirs by inheritance.
2. A North American Injun or Aboriginal person.
3. Sometimes used pejoratively against indigenous peoples by the colonizers.

   Some asshole natives must have kidnapped andraep'd our cattle. Thereby, justifying every fucked up thing we do, henceforth, in the name this great nation and righteous, upstanding folk..

Usage

The term "native" has different social and political connotations. In some cases, it refers to a brand of cigarettes offered by the first nations to kill off invaders with cancer and emphysema. In other cases it is a neutral, descriptive term, for someone with an accent that makes one want to gouge his or her ears out, like a "native" New Yorker or a native of India... or where-the-fuck ever. However, in the context of colonialism; especially Britfag colonialism; the term "colonial native" was a disparaging and patronizing word for Americunts. Brits knew that Americans were incapable of taking care of themselves and in need of The Royal Family to rule their lives. At present English speakers use it, or don't, because Americans don't know what it means nor do they give a shit. This connotation led to drama over the preference of the terms Native American or Injuns, but is far better than being dubbed a worthless alcoholic or a lazy welfare recipient. In the movie, the Gangs of New York, "natives" are whites who want to keep the land pure and free of drunken, ginger Irishmen and sheepfucking Welshmen. Much more can be learned from the other ED articles, found below.

Peoples Around the World

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Oceania

Māori of New Zealand

Typical Maori

At Least it Wasn't All for a Lousy T-Shirt

Maori /ˈmaʊəri/ are natives of the island of New Zealand who, according to wise historians at [Urban Dictionary], traded their land for weapons and methylated spirituous liquours to kill other Maori. After quenching their thirst for blood and their hunger for human flesh, they realized that they had been ripped off by their white friends and took to killing whiteys. When they failed at this, they turned to thievery, at which they have become quite adept. In the modern era, they are peddlers of drugs and shoddy, hand-crafted souvenirs. They like get wasted and mug people, especially the elderly, for money and trendy clothing items. Maori are said to have a fondness for stolen shoes. The Maori are, also, members of a Maori-only political party whose sole responsibilities are to increase the burden upon the white invaders by taxing them for increased welfare benefits and to seek the, eventual, ethnic purification of the island. Pastimes include binge drinking, using drugs, making raps, fighting, and stealing anything they can carry.

Abbos of Australia

Abbo Specimen

50,000 Years of Progress!

Expert archaeologists consider Aborigines /ˌæbəˈrɪdʒəniz/ to a possible ancestor to mankind, though Nazi scientists dispute this claim. Supposedly, they emigrated to Australia over 50,000 years ago and spent a considerable amount of that time finding different purposes for sticks and getting high off dodo oil. They are renowned for their ability to consume liters of petrochemical laced alcoholic beverages and survive, among other accomplishments like driving animals to extinction, and jacking cars using antennae or dipsticks. The didgeridoo is revered for its unique acoustic sound by hippies, who also sit around listening to other obnoxious instruments like the sitar, but most people can only stand for the few seconds that it reminds them of dinner at Outback. Moar in Main Article

Central America

Mexicas, Mayans, and Aztecs

¡Viva México!

When Christopher Columbus, Hernán Cortés, and other Spanish conquistadors, bless their souls, arrived in the new world at Mexico, the major players among the natives were the Aztecs, the Mayans, and the Mexicas. They were quickly overthrown and subjugated because they had feeble weapons, like blades made of carved jade stone or volcanic glass pounded into wood, and the Spanish wore sensible armor and carried weapons like steel swords and guns. Many of the conquistadors were Marranos who wanted to find gold, under the guise of converting "Indians" to Christianity, and were willing to do so at any cost to the native inhabitants. Most of their cultures were corrupted beyond redemption and whatever gaps left by the conquistadors were filled by famine and disease. Rape of native women was common because shirtless native girls are hard to resist for grog-drunken sailors, but it led to the creation of the Mestizos, a mistake that would haunt white america for centuries to come. At the time of arrival, their cultures centered around killing, sacrificing, and eating each other. Other activities included the consumption of strong hallucinogenic drugs, playing ball games to show off their machismo to wimmins, growing corn, raiding tribes who were more successful than they were, and eating almost anything that moved. The diets included beans, corn, cacti, and beer made from spitting chewed corn into a fermenting vat. They dwelt in filthy caves, where they carved trinkets out of rocks and flattened the heads of their infants via cradleboards. The Spanish saw that their way of life was completely retarded and destroyed as much of it as they possibly could. However, they failed to achieve anything meaningful because replacing shitty wooden weapons for guns and other severe pwnage-capable weapons only made the natives better at killing each other. In their modern domains, like Mexico and Guatemala, caves were exchanged for shanty towns, built from debris found in garbage dumps, and chicha (chewed corn spit beer) was replaced with Corona (pisswater corn beer). However, they still eat disgusting things, like ant larvae (escamoles), consume vast amounts of drugs, and kill each other for almost any reason. Soccer replaced most other pastime sports and is a source for much trolling, IRL and online, when the team from the United States, a country where soccer and faeces are equally repulsive and unimportant, beats Mexico. The uncivilized descendants of the natives of Central America are major contributors to gang violence, retarded political movements, weird cults, and welfare fraud.

Just pretend they're rice!

Message from the Church of Michoacan

Proud Indigenous Woman

Stolen Continent

Go Back to Europe

No comment could make this worse than it is

Escamoles, Oaxacan Delight

Another "traditional" Mezo-American Delicacy

Eat Moar Bugs!

Beer from Corn and Saliva

Saint Death

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Northern Europe

Celts

Native of Wales

Europe's Homeless

Celts /kɛlts/ are natives of Northern Europe. The Celtic tribes are the forefathers of many European peoples. Among them are the Irish, Scottish, and Welsh. Celts, like all other indigenous people of the world, enjoyed killing each other and their neighboring tribes. Like all Caucasian people, they were fond of invading other lands when they got bored of life at home. Unlike others, however, they always failed at everything and do not control any piece of land they ever inhabited. What sets Celts further apart from other native peoples of Europe is their fondness for hard alcohol and sheepfucking, which is still prevalent in their culture. See Main Article for Moar.

Teutons

Typical German

Typical Scandinavian

The Forefathers of Scheisse-Porn

Teutons are the forefathers of all Germanic people. Among them are the Anglo-Saxons, Goths, Germans, and Scandinavians. Teutonic people, like Nazis and Vikings, have an insatiable thirst for gore and unfathomably disgusting pornography. Some are obsessed with racial purity and find incest preferable to dating AZNs or black people. Most have no souls and that is why so many of them look like they were born in the village of the damned or, worse yet, bear the ginger curse. It is hard to say who is the most notorious, among them. Scandinavians liked to raid villages, kill most of the inhabitants, burn everything they didn't steal, and sail away (See the Article on Vikings). The English (Anglo-Saxons) liked to do the same thing, except that they would never leave. Thus, giving rise to Americunts, Canadians, Ausfalians, and all the other English speaking motherfuckers. (See the article on England for better coverage)

Other uses that nobody cares about

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• A band from France
• A type of rock music made on reservations
• A character in X-Men comics
• An album by OneRepublic
• In computing, software is native support when it is running on the operating system for which it was written and not running (if you can call it that) under WINE.

Hard Evidence

Video Footage

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Caveman Casino.

Natives Dancing.

Aboriginals Hanging Out.

Rapping.

Using Knoives to Deal with Invasive Peoples.

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See also

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• Injun
• Aboriginal
• African
• Welfare
• Alcohol
• Mexico
• Germany
• Celtic

External Links

Urban Dictionary knows all about Maori

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Native is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻