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The Swamp: Difference between revisions
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m win, replaced: gay → win (4) Tag: Reverted |
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[[Image:Capitalhfixed0oh.gif|thumb|right|How the capital was made.]] | [[Image:Capitalhfixed0oh.gif|thumb|right|How the capital was made.]] | ||
[[File:Small_White_House.jpg|thumb|right]] | [[File:Small_White_House.jpg|thumb|right]] | ||
'''The Swamp''', formerly known as '''Washington, D.C.''' and commonly referred to as the '''District of Cuckistan''', or simply '''Douche City''', is the capital of the [[United States|Divided States of America]] and also [[Earth|The New World Order]]. Located in a humid dung infested marsh stolen from pansy state [[Maryland|Murderland]], the District's swamp-ass conditions facilitates ripe breeding grounds for sweaty [[Bribery|Lobbyists]] and crook [[Whore|Politicians]] who cocksuck for cash. D.C. is also best known for its high crime rate, rate of [[AIDS]], and perpetual NFL doormat, the Washington [[ | '''The Swamp''', formerly known as '''Washington, D.C.''' and commonly referred to as the '''District of Cuckistan''', or simply '''Douche City''', is the capital of the [[United States|Divided States of America]] and also [[Earth|The New World Order]]. Located in a humid dung infested marsh stolen from pansy state [[Maryland|Murderland]], the District's swamp-ass conditions facilitates ripe breeding grounds for sweaty [[Bribery|Lobbyists]] and crook [[Whore|Politicians]] who cocksuck for cash. D.C. is also best known for its high crime rate, rate of [[AIDS]], and perpetual NFL doormat, the Washington [[Native_American|Redskins]]. | ||
==Famous DC Residents - Past, Present, and Future== | ==Famous DC Residents - Past, Present, and Future== | ||
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* [[Trent Lott]] | * [[Trent Lott]] | ||
* [[Warren G. Harding]] | * [[Warren G. Harding]] | ||
* [[Fugazi]] (band of | * [[Fugazi]] (band of gaylords) | ||
* [[Michele Bachmann]] | * [[Michele Bachmann]] | ||
* [[Newt Gingrich]] | * [[Newt Gingrich]] | ||
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==Law and Government== | ==Law and Government== | ||
Due to the high concentration of [[bureaucratic fuck]]s, it is illegal to polish a handgun while chain-smoking in one of DC's many [[ | Due to the high concentration of [[bureaucratic fuck]]s, it is illegal to polish a handgun while chain-smoking in one of DC's many [[gay]] bars. In a series of concessions to the [[nigger|criminal]] community, mugging, panhandling, and public urination are tolerated and actively encouraged by local police. | ||
==DC Neighborhoods== | ==DC Neighborhoods== | ||
<b>Adams Morgan</b> - Home of your average frat [[drunk]] [[douchebag]]. In the summer, each bar sponsors it's own date [[raep]] team that competes against all the other teams. The team that has the most rapes by the end of the summer gets a trophy. Madams Organ has won 10 years in a row. | |||
<b>Anacostia</b> - Jampacked with [[nigra]]s and, consequently, home to [[over 9000]] chicken joints, liquor stores and pawn shops but no supermarkets. Literally no honkies for miles. However, due to the residents' easy access to [[hookers and blow]] makes Anacostia one of the most convenient places to live, since every person that you see will have access to either or both. National capital of [[ruin]]. | |||
<b>Columbia Heights</b> - Here be an awkward mix of [[spics]] and [[yuppies]] moving into expensive newly built condos which are squeezing out the aforementioned spics. The only place you're more likely to get killed by a machete than a bullet. | |||
<b>Dupont Circle</b> - Where [[yuppie]]s and [[faggot]]s live. Lulz ensue when young future politicians explore their desire for [[teh]] [[cock]] [[in the ass]] in this neighborhood with [[Larry Craig]]. | |||
{{quote|...there was an abandoned [[Jews|synagogue]] and a narrow alley leading to the long-forgotten gardens in back. Every night, rain or shine, this hidden pocket of Washington filled with men just like me—almost all of them wearing business suits and, on most of their left hands, proof that they’d made the same compromises I had. We were the power brokers and backroom operatives and future leaders of America. We just happened to be | {{quote|...there was an abandoned [[Jews|synagogue]] and a narrow alley leading to the long-forgotten gardens in back. Every night, rain or shine, this hidden pocket of Washington filled with men just like me—almost all of them wearing business suits and, on most of their left hands, proof that they’d made the same compromises I had. We were the power brokers and backroom operatives and future leaders of America. We just happened to be gay. | ||
I felt as though I’d come upon a sanctuary — it was a church-like, almost spiritual place. Moonlight squinted through the stained-glass windows into our garden, catching an inviting eye or a face stretched in ecstasy. I looked forward to my visits there, sometimes two or three a week. I quickly learned whom to approach and whose advance to wait for, when to move quickly, which posture said “no thanks” and which said “please.” One evening, as I stood on one of the metal platforms back there, a word came to me: liberated. Standing there in full sight of this group of men, I’d finally found a way to show who I was.|Jim McGreevey, former governor of [[New Jersey]] about being a colossal faggot}} | I felt as though I’d come upon a sanctuary — it was a church-like, almost spiritual place. Moonlight squinted through the stained-glass windows into our garden, catching an inviting eye or a face stretched in ecstasy. I looked forward to my visits there, sometimes two or three a week. I quickly learned whom to approach and whose advance to wait for, when to move quickly, which posture said “no thanks” and which said “please.” One evening, as I stood on one of the metal platforms back there, a word came to me: liberated. Standing there in full sight of this group of men, I’d finally found a way to show who I was.|Jim McGreevey, former governor of [[New Jersey]] about being a colossal faggot}} | ||
This also proves that Judaism leads to [[in the ass|sodomy]]. | This also proves that Judaism leads to [[in the ass|sodomy]]. | ||
<b>Georgetown</b> - filled with rich [[Christfag]] [[douchebag]]s who pop their collars. The [[Azn]] invasion is really taking its toll here nowadays, along with street shitting bums. | |||
<b>The Mall</b> - Tourists traveling in gangs to protect themselves from [[nigra]]s. Petrified of ending up in the wrong neighborhood which presents golden opportunities for [[Trolling IRL]] | |||
<b>Palisades</b> - Much like Georgetown, but more boring and full of rapists. | |||
<b>U Street</b> See Columbia Heights, only with [[nigra]]s instead of spics. Also plenty of gays and Whole Foods. | |||
<b> Union Station</b> The men's bathroom here was where [[Larry Craig]] went to cruise for [[teh]] [[cock]] while on break from Clowngress. | |||
==Important Things That Came Out of DC== | ==Important Things That Came Out of DC== | ||
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{{Unitedstates}} | {{Unitedstates}} | ||
[[Category:Locations]] | [[Category: Locations]] | ||
