Native

Put DAT MONEY in mah hand NOW!

Native //neɪtɪv// From French natif, from Latin nativus, from natus, ‘birth’.

Adjective

Or Else!

1. Characteristic of or relating to people inhabiting a region from prehistoric times who receive money checks Cash american -- fundage and such for their ancestors having been pwnt by evil squatters.

Noun

1. A person who is descended from people who squatted the land first, making it theirs by inheritance.
2. A North American Injun or Aboriginal person.
3. Sometimes used pejoratively against indigenous peoples by the colonizers.

   Some asshole natives must have kidnapped andraep'd our cattle. Thereby, justifying every fucked up thing we do, henceforth, in the name this great nation and righteous, upstanding folk..

Usage

The term "native" has different social and political connotations. In some cases, it refers to a brand of cigarettes offered by the first nations to kill off invaders with cancer and emphysema. In other cases it is a neutral, descriptive term, for someone with an accent that makes one want to gouge his or her ears out, like a "native" New Yorker or a native of India... or where-the-fuck ever. However, in the context of colonialism; especially Britfag colonialism; the term "colonial native" was a disparaging and patronizing word for Americunts. Brits knew that Americans were incapable of taking care of themselves and in need of The Royal Family to rule their lives. At present English speakers use it, or don't, because Americans don't know what it means nor do they give a shit. This connotation led to drama over the preference of the terms Native American or Injuns, but is far better than being dubbed a worthless alcoholic or a lazy welfare recipient. In the movie, the Gangs of New York, "natives" are whites who want to keep the land pure and free of drunken, ginger Irishmen and sheepfucking Welshmen. Much more can be learned from the other ED articles, found below.

Peoples Around the World

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Oceania

Māori of New Zealand

Typical Maori

At Least it Wasn't All for a Lousy T-Shirt

Maori /ˈmaʊəri/ are natives of the islands of New Zealand who, according to wise historians at Urban Dictionary, traded their land for weapons and methylated spirituous liquours to kill other Maori then get hammered. After quenching their thirst for blood and their hunger for human flesh, they realized that they had been ripped off by their white friends and took to killing whiteys. When they failed at this, they turned to thievery, at which they have become quite adept. In the modern era, they are peddlers of drugs and shoddy, hand-crafted souvenirs. They like get wasted and mug people, especially the elderly, for money and trendy clothing items. Maori are said to have a fondness for stolen shoes. The Maori are, also, members of a Maori-only political party whose sole responsibilities are to increase the burden upon the white invaders by taxing them for increased welfare benefits and to seek the, eventual, ethnic purification of the island. Pastimes include binge drinking, using drugs, making raps, domestic violence, and stealing anything they can carry.

Abbos of Australia

Abbo Specimen

Spirit Drink

50,000 Years of Progress!

Expert archaeologists consider Aborigines /ˌæbəˈrɪdʒəniz/ to a possible ancestor to mankind, though Nazi scientists dispute this claim. Supposedly, they emigrated to Australia over 50,000 years ago and spent a considerable amount of that time finding different purposes for sticks and getting high off dodo oil. They are renowned for their ability to consume liters of petrochemical laced alcoholic beverages and survive, among other accomplishments like driving animals to extinction, and jacking cars using antennae or dipsticks. The didgeridoo is revered for its unique acoustic sound by hippies, who also sit around listening to other obnoxious instruments like the sitar, but most people can only stand for the few seconds that it reminds them of dinner at Outback. Moar in Main Article

Central America

Mexicas, Mayans, and Aztecs

Santa Anna, A Guy Who knows When to Quit

President of México

¡Viva México!

When Christopher Columbus, Hernán Cortés, and other Spanish conquistadors, bless their souls, arrived in the new world at Mexico, the major players among the natives were the Aztecs, the Mayans, and the Mexicas. They were quickly overthrown and subjugated because they had not only feeble weapons, like blades made of carved jade stone or volcanic glass pounded into wood, but a concept of warfare that involved capturing (rather than killing) enemy combatants. The Spanish wore sensible armor and carried weapons like steel swords and guns. Many of the conquistadors were Marranos who wanted to find gold, under the guise of converting "Indians" to Christianity, and were willing to do so at any cost to the native inhabitants. Most of their cultures were corrupted beyond redemption and whatever gaps left by the conquistadors were filled by famine, disease, and the Jesus. Rape of native women was common because shirtless native girls are hard to resist for grog-drunken sailors, but it led to the creation of the Mestizos, a mistake that plagues white america to this day. At the time of arrival, their cultures centered around killing, sacrificing, and eating each other. Other activities included the consumption of strong hallucinogenic drugs, playing ball games to show off their machismo to wimmins, growing corn, raiding tribes who were more successful than they were, and eating almost anything that moved. The diets included beans, corn, cacti, and beer made from spitting chewed corn into a fermenting vat. They dwelt in filthy caves where they carved trinkets out of rocks, pierced their tongues and genitals, and flattened the heads of their infants via cradleboards. The Spanish saw that their way of life was completely retarded and destroyed as much of it as they possibly could. However, they failed to achieve anything meaningful because replacing shitty wooden weapons for guns and other severe pwnage-capable weapons only made the natives better at killing each other. In their modern domains, like Mexico and Guatemala, caves were exchanged for shanty towns, built from debris found in garbage dumps, and chicha (chewed corn spit beer) was replaced with Corona (pisswater corn beer). However, they still eat disgusting things, like ant larvae (escamoles), consume vast amounts of drugs, and kill each other for almost any reason. Soccer replaced most other pastime sports and is a source for much trolling, IRL and online, when the team from the United States (a country where soccer and faeces are equally repulsive and unimportant) beats Mexico. The uncivilized descendants of the natives of Central America are major contributors to gang violence, retarded political movements, weird cults, and welfare fraud.

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  SB-1070?
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  Just pretend they're rice!
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  It's safer than the water.
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  Message from the Church of Michoacan

Proud Indigenous Woman

Stolen Continent

Go Back to Europe

No comment could make this worse than it is

Escamoles, Oaxacan Delight

Another "traditional" Mezo-American Delicacy

Eat Moar Bugs!

Beer from Corn and Saliva

Saint Death

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Northern Europe

Celts

Native of Wales

Oh Goddess, Oh...Gawd...ess...Fap Fap Fap

Homeless Drunks

Celts /kɛlts/ are natives of Northern Europe. The Celtic tribes are the forefathers of many European peoples. Among them are the Irish, Scottish, and Welsh. Celts, like all other indigenous people of the world, enjoyed killing each other and their neighboring tribes. Like all Caucasian people, they were fond of invading other lands when they got bored of life at home. Unlike others, however, they always failed at everything and do not control any piece of land they ever inhabited. What sets Celts further apart from other native peoples of Europe is their fondness for hard alcohol and sheepfucking, which is still prevalent in their culture. See Main Article for Moar.

Teutons

Typical German

Typical Scandinavian

The Forefathers of Scheisse-Porn

Teutons are the forefathers of all Germanic people. Among them are the Anglo-Saxons, Goths, Germans, and Scandinavians. Teutonic people, like Nazis and Vikings, have an insatiable thirst for gore and unfathomably disgusting pornography. Some are obsessed with racial purity and find incest preferable to dating AZNs or black people. Like the Japanese, they have no souls and that is why so many of them look like they were born in the village of the damned or worse, bear the ginger curse. It is hard to say who is the most notorious, among them. Scandinavians liked to raid villages, rape and/or kill most of the inhabitants, burn everything they didn't steal, and sail away (See the Article on Vikings). The English (Anglo-Saxons) liked to do the same thing, except that they would never leave. Thus, giving rise to Americunts, Canadians, Ausfalians, and all the other English speaking motherfuckers. (See the article on England for better coverage)

Nomads of Eurinasia

Lapps

Before

After

Doing it Wrong!

Reindeer Fuckers

Sámi are natives of Norway who are the most kind, proud, gentle and primitive people whom nobody cares about. As if sheepfuckers were not extreme enough for the world, these people chase around reindeer because they are dependent upon them for sex, warmth, and fresh blood to drink. They are hideously disgusting furries who seldom bathe and sleep in piles of hay. People from Norway, Sweden, and NATO countries use them for target practice during bombing exercises. Finland is notorious for keeping Lapps uneducated and primitive so that tourists can take pictures of them struggling to make ends meet and purchase their crappy bone trinkets. Swedes like to dump shit in their water and pave over their land; thus, they have grown fond of drinking the blood of live animals and stranded tourists. Russia prohibits them from owning businesses or building facilities on their native land, so they are pretty much fucked out of any hope of living above poverty in Russia, as well. Lapps like to bitch and moan, like most native peoples, about how unfairly everyone treats them but they are first in line for monthly dole payments, which they spend on drugs and alcohol.

Gypsies

Wanna buy a purse?

Gypsie Mansion

The Original Trailer Trash

What new could be said about gypsies. The Romani remain the most hated people of Europe despite Arabs doing their best to claim that status. Through gypsies, pikeys, and the like, Europeans grew to hate foreigners from India long before India began to troll the world with online scams, yoga faggotry, telemarketing, and IBM's call centers. The word conjures so many lulzy stereotypes, such as trailer trash, thieves, scammers, charlatans, knock-off merchants, witches, and nearly all other forms of human filth. Gypsies are the IRL trolls of England, who subject its rightful citizens to endless and inhumane trickery. Smart people get the fuck away at first site of a knock-off purse stand, lest they be heckled into approaching the stand to be lulled into believing they are getting a good deal on a fake Gucci bag, only to find that their cash was switched out for counterfeits by sleight of hand. Gypsies believe it is immoral to let a sucker keep his money. Thus, the term "gypped".See Main Article.

Africa

How do they eat?

Guests leaving Hotel Rwanda

It smells like shit in here!

Machete Hackin' Fun!

Negroes are the natives of Africa. What a wily bunch of homicidal maniacs there in Africa. If you are excited at the thought of seeing people getting their limbs hacked off because of quibbles over the price of an acetylene-torched rat or a radically overpriced rock someone found in a pond full of urine and faeces, then these are the people you want to meet. These kooky bastards will kill over just about anything. If one wants to get a grasp of just how bad it is over there, one only needs to watch Blood Diamond, Lord of War, and Hotel Rwanda; then do a Jewgle search to find out that these things are really happening, every day, in Africa. The Hutu and Tutsi, which are tribal names created by the Dutch to separate the ugly ones from the pretty ones, have such an uncontrollable thirst for blood that some of the jungle roads were literally covered in hacked limbs and bodies. Liberians, whose culture is dominated by the descendants of repatriated African slaves, may be the most brutal and disgusting people on Earth. One of the most famous warlords of Liberia is the naked general, who would sacrifice a young child and drink their blood before disrobing and entering the battlefield. Sierra Leone is another war-torn area where one tribe enslaves another to dig through muck and filth for diamonds and people are hacked to pieces for almost any reason. Things really went to shit when the colonials were conned into granting them their independence by the United Nations. The colonizers were greedy, self centered arseholes who did not give a flying fuck about the state of the natives, but they knew how to run an economy and they kept things in as much order as is possible. The governments that replaced the colonial governments were far worse than greedy, they were genocidal maniacs with no idea how to maintain a modicum of normalcy or stability. People see Egypt and Libya on the news and think “how awful,” but these are a vacation in Barbados compared to the rest of the continent, other than South Africa. Some sights to see while hanging with the indigenous folk: Houses made of shit Women having their clitorises cut off with jagged rocks The World's largest ear gauges People with lips stretch over objects the size of a dinner plate Women who can sling their tits over their shoulder to feed a child while they toil $1 prostitutes People snorting gun powder 13 year olds carrying fully automated assault rifles People having children they can neither afford nor care for People who have never used a telephone carrying GPS units for Google See article on Africa for moar lulz

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  Try taking his candy!
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  Obama's cousin
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  What? Got a problem with genocide?
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  'Sup Y'all?!

Liberian Documentary

Houses Made of Cow Shit

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Asia

Only famous Mongol, evar.

In popular culture

Mongols

Trolling Whitey

The Mongols are a native tribe of Central Asia who, like their Turkish cousins, have a long history of trolling Eurotrash like the guidos of Italy and Germans. One of the ways they achieved the most brutal trolling of Eurofags, evar, was to spread diseases like Islam and Mongoloidism. Another hilarious method used to achieve lulz and epic wins at the expense of the European population was to catapult the bodies of soldiers, riddled with bubonic plague, over the walls of cities like Caffa. This had the effect of reducing the population to reasonably pwnage worthy levels and giving Mongols girlish giggles accompanied by IRL level ups. The mongols, like most uncivilized native tribes, were cannibals who would kill and rape for fun. Hitler was very hesitant to bomb England because they were one of the only peoples whose ancestors did not have the rape-child of a Mongol heathen hanging from the family tree. Mongols were the forefathers of terrorism, and much explosive and disease related warfare tactics can be attributed to them. They did not leave their terrorism to just Europe, though, because they loved to starve and torture the Chinese, Turks, and anyone who crossed their path. The severe arse-kickings rendered unto many of those people proved that vegans are pussies and that carnivores, even if they are cannibals, are moar awesome than everything else. Unfortunately, they were furries who used horses and sheep for deviant night-time activities. Eventually, the Han people, with the help of the Slavs, out-bred them and turned Mongolia into China Junior. Currently, the country acts as a landfill for China and Russia but the people are growing weary of pictures of Meow Shit-Tongue and eating rice, so they are trolling the Chinese government with pictures of Genghis Khan. China doesn't like this, so maybe they have upped the ante by dumping hazardous and radioactive garbage into the food and water supplies, maybe this is all bullshit.

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  Famous for yelling “Khan”
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  Put this on your dick to spread teh downs.
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  Throw your dead friends over the wall with this.
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  Put these on your dick for pleasure and lulz at the expense of women's rights.
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  Victim of Mongoloid DNA

Natives of China

青昌衝( Ching, Chang, Chong)

Han People The Hans are greedy people who breed faster than cockroaches. They are blindly obedient and submissive to their government, thus they serve as an inspiration for the future of all leftard people. Their historical culture was so dysfunctional and horrific that the brutality of the communist regime of Mao was an improvement. They are egregious, disgusting homosexuals to the point that they drown baby girls or sell them to American celebrities. They are very, very mad at Japan for pwning them in World War II. They hate everyone, but they let anyone build a factory in their country to get their jewgold and steal their technology. See the article on China for moar details.

Turks Yes, these Armenian killers are from China. They were the Mongols' bitches who helped spread Islam. The Turks squatted upon Roman territory and renamed cities like Constantinople to moonspeak names like Istanbul. They pretend to be modern and civilized to get European money and American weapons, but ask any Kurd or Armenian how they really are. Read the article on Turkey to get a better idea.

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  Kenneth Eng, Chinese Ambassador to Amurrica
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  Baby Girl Soup... What happens when no Brangelina shows up to the auction
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  Flowers blocked by the PRC's Golden Shower Firewall
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  Dinner, when babies are scarce
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  Only in Animæ do they look like this
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  Expect Delays
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  Customary Turkish greeting ceremony for honorary international guests... They're so civilized!
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  They love animals... so modern!
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  Turkish cigarette lighter
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  Their flag, the Old Gory, which is pretty fucking scary when one considers the world's history with countries who bear giant red flags

Other uses that nobody cares about

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• A band from France
• A type of rock music made on reservations
• A character in X-Men comics
• An album by OneRepublic
• In computing, software is native support when it is running on the operating system for which it was written and not running (if you can call it that) under WINE.

Hard Evidence

Video Footage

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Caveman Casino.

Natives Dancing.

Aboriginals Hanging Out.

Rapping.

Using Knoives to Deal with Invasive Peoples.

Previous Video | Next Video

See also

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• Injun
• Aboriginal
• African
• Welfare
• Alcohol
• Mexico
• Germany
• Celtic
• Gypsy

External Links

Urban Dictionary knows all about Maori
New Zelanders Making the Maori Butthurt
Urban Dictionary Entry for Gypsy

Native is part of a series on Ausfailia [CollapseExpand]

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[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

Native is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻