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Wikipedia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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“ 		 
They even have this policy, it's WP colon DICK, it's called don't be a dick and it's fucking hilarious because they're all fucking dicks
  		„
  		 

—hipcrime

   
“ 		 
Dear Wikipedia readers: We are the small non-profit that runs the #5 website in the world. We have only 150 staff but serve 500 million users, and have costs like any other top site: servers, power, programs, and staff. Wikipedia is something special. It is like a library or a public park. It is like a temple for the mind, a place we can all go to think and learn. To protect our independence, we'll never run ads. We take no government funds. We survive on donations averaging about $30. Now is the time we ask. If everyone reading this gave $3, our fundraiser would be done within an hour. If Wikipedia is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online and ad-free another year. Please help us forget fundraising and get back to Wikipedia. Thank you.
  		„
  		 

—TOW begging Jews for their Jew golds.

   
“ 		 
And you will never find a more wretched hive of pseudoskeptical, atheistic scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
  		„
  		 

—With apologies to Sir Alec Guinness

   
“ 		 
Great idea, wrong species
  		„
  		 

—E.O. Wilson (on communism, but he meant Wikipedia)

   
“ 		 
Verifiability, not truth
  		„
  		 

—Wikipedo's content policy. It's okay to cite a supermarket tabloid as proof, provided you do cite it.

   
“ 		 
[W]ithout the content[,] Wikipedia is just Facebook for ugly people[.]
  		„
  		 

—Iridescent, Wikipedia administrator, 2015-07-31[1]

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World of Wikipedoia, or Wikipedia, is a blog justified by news pages from corrupt media, which they refer to as "reliable sources".[2] It is considered an "encyclopedia" and the best of humanity, proof for to how the absolute mental retardation has contaminated the entire world population. Editiors plagiarize other people's work, they twist the words around and they boast how they are smart with new article creation or article "improvement."

Vectored TOW porn. That means they spend time tracing over the lines.
The kind of shit you find on TOW. Added at Jimbo's /r/
BULLSHITTING INTENSIFIES
The penises of many Wikipedia administrators are unable to do this, so they use Wikipedia to promote cutting it off so they can feel less inferior.
Meet the Wiki-pedo-ian with the most edits. 6 million Wikipedia edits, 0 girlfriends followed by koafv aka JUSTINE ANTHONY KNAPP/KRAPP!!!

Wikipedia also is a massive multiplayer online role-playing game in which some geek braggarts compete to paraphrase TL;DR information into a shorter, reader-friendlier format. However, unlike any other MMORPG, the major rewards and upgrades are to players' perceived expertise on their own edits, which players can trade in for sparse IRL recognition or can add to their sparse lists of personal accomplishments.

During gameplay, Wikipedia players can gain more authority as they progress, with "Administrator" and "Double-O Licensed" rankings granting them access to GOD MODE. While the rules for winning the game are a tightly-kept secret, it is believed that the winner is treated to a night of accolades and praise from Wikipedia overlord Jimbo Wales.

Had Wikipedia not been infiltrated by propagandists and circumphiles long ago, it would at least be an attractive target for them.

(There's also pieces of an "encyclopedia" buried in there, among the articles about anime fanboy crap and football.)

What is a Wiki? An Example of Supreme Idiocy

 


 
"Verifiability above truth, and Israeli propaganda before either"
 
Not-so-subtle racism on the   facial page.

History

 
Say NO to Wik ipedia.
Do not be tempted into the "encyclopedia" for the poor.

The Wikipedia game originally began as a plot to streamline the plagiarism of college essays.

Said plot was evil, so naturally, a Jew was involved. Once the Jew realized that tricking narcissists into self-indentured servitude was an easy way to profit, he immediately began a campaign to turn all Google users into "contributors" to the full-blown cut and paste orgy of his design.

The encyclopedic aspect of Wikipedia began as a butthurt reaction to its more popular predecessor, Encyclopedia Dramatica. Over time, Wikipedia began to feature more and more interesting topics like the lives of 17th century rabbis, characteristics of the 57th termite chromosome, and Hollywood films including one or more of the Sesame Street Muppets - in other words, content with no real relevance to internet culture. It now also functions as a limited medical journal (which is useless to its contributor base) and criminal resource for retards.

TOW players, however, got a bit headstrong about the actual value of their contributions, and even the Jew conjurer himself began to think of it as the 21st Century's Library of Alexandria. Indeed, this sustains the standard modus operandi of Wikipedoes, Jews, Liberals and all who believe that re-writing pre-written facts garners respect from people who can't tell the difference and don't give a damn.

Progression through the Game

   
“ 		 
Pseudo-scholarship (from pseudo- + scholarship) is a work (e.g., publication, lecture) or body of work that is presented as, but is not, the product of rigorous and objective study or research; the act of producing such work; or the pretended learning upon which it is based
  		„
  		 

—  Do go on...

   
“ 		 
Pseudohistory is akin to pseudoscience in that both forms of falsification are achieved using the methodology that purports to, but does not, adhere to the established standards of research for the given field of intellectual enquiry to which the pseudoscience claims to be a part, and which offers little or no supporting evidence for its plausibility.
  		„
  		 

—  Tell me more...

   
“ 		 
You do! Yes, anyone can be bold and edit an existing article or create a new one, and volunteers do not need to have any formal training.
  		„
  		 

—  "Who writes Wikipedia?"

   
“ 		 
Wikipedia is written largely by amateurs. Those with expert credentials are given no additional weight.
  		„
  		 

—*cough* Essjay *cough*   "Strengths and Weaknesses of Wikipedia" (it doesn't say whether this is a strength or a weakness)

   
“ 		 
In Wikipedia, verifiability means that anyone using the encyclopedia can check that the information comes from a reliable source.
  		„
  		 

—So why do you pretend to be an encyclopedia, when you've admitted that you're just a link-farm?

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How the Game Typically Progresses

  1. You make edits to articles
  2. Your edits get reverted by aspie fucktards
  3. You revert them back and they in turn revert again
  4. You bicker on the talk page of the article
  5. You whine about the aspies on the administrator noticeboards accusing them of being uncivil, they in turn accuse you of assuming bad faith
  6. You open a Request for Comment on their behavior
  7. You take them to arbitration
  8. Someone gets banned forever, normally the most sane person
  9. Jimbo profits

Grinding

You grind by writing articles in a concise, yet obtuse way. This is achieved by ignoring copyediting rules and flavor your material with unwarranted sesquipedalianism (If you did not have to look up this word you are probably... See! The insulting remark appeared in your head! No one even had to spell it out for you!) It was rumored that by 2020 Wikipedia:s user base will be replaced with Google Paraphrase, a software in development.

Leveling up

Each time someone complains to you on your user page, you have gained a level. This is easily achieved, since everything you do will yield complaint: both constructive work and vandalism.

Player versus player

How to go player versus player in Wikipedia.

  1. Remove a raw addition to an article which you easily could have fixed or replaced yourself, and which really does not do any harm. In the very least, it could be used as a pedagogical example for newcomers how an article not should be written.
  2. Write an essay on the talk page explaining why the addition was removed citing a lot of so called policies, guidelines and essays. Ignoring the fact that said rules, guidelines and essays was not created to stop newcomers, but to help them understand how Wikipedia works, and also was created to stop dickheads like yourself.
  3. Get your reversion contested.
  4. Initiate a voting game for how the issue should be handed.
  5. An administrator who is the judge in the voting games, rules in your favour despite the outcome, because he will never thwart the effort of a fellow avocation aficionado bureaucrat, despite how stupid you are.
  6. Run amok removing things over the whole site, citing said voting game as if Wikipedia was a court room.
  7. PROFIT!

Gaining Experience Points

  • 1 vandal reversion = 1 exp (a vandal is defined as an editor with a different point of view than yours)
  • 1 legitimate edit to a page = 2 exp
  • 1 article created (assuming it stays) = 20 exp
  • 1 Good Article = 100 exp
  • 1 Featured Article = 200 exp
  • 1 report to AIV or UAA = 5 exp
  • 1 page deleted via AfD = 20 exp
  • 1 page deleted via PROD or CSD = 10 exp
  • 1 support for an Rfa = 20 exp
  • 1 article with POV or misinformation inserted into = 100 exp
  • 1 user blocked as a result of drama created = 50 exp
  • 1 instance of getting a page blocked = Over 9000 exp

TOW Ranks

  • Rollback > 10,000 exp
  • Pending changes reviewer > 15,000 exp
  • Template editor > 20,000 exp
  • Administrator > 100,000 exp
  • Bureaucrat > 500,000 exp
  • Checkuser or Oversight > 500,000 exp

Why it's Generally a Huge Bucket of Pelican Shit

 
Yu hav no buket becos it is not in the nuspapers!
 
Encyclopædia Dramatica once again breaking its balls to 1up Wikipedia.
 
All the good names are taken...
 
Articles about memes aren't allowed, but things like this are???
   
“ 		 
If I told you I had a bucket and showed you the bucket, would you ask for a newspaper article to prove I had a bucket?
  		„
  		 

—210.9.136.63 (talk) 12:53, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

   
“ 		 
Yes. Yes, we would. That's the way it works on Wikipedia.
  		„
  		 

—Jew (talk · contribs) 12:57, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Currently Wikipedia contains 4.8 million English articles, 4.8 million of which are plagiarized from ED, Encyclopedia Britannica, or Futa sites. After edits from various admins, editors, trolls and vandals, only 343 articles remain at least 50% factually accurate. This leaves Wikipedia on an academic par with "Star Wars: Incredible Cross-Sections: The Ultimate Guide to Star Wars Vehicles and Spacecraft" and "My First Book of Animals from A to Z". All reputable universities and high schools have permabanned the use of Wikipedia in academic citations.

Wikipedia has a policy that all articles in it needs a neutral point of view, but in reality it is a doublespeak that basically means "Write in a pro-communist, pro-Israel, pro-Liberalism view", which is the exact reverse of neutrality. No wonder all the SJWs, Jewish Activists and Narcissist power maniacs are attracted to it.

Wikipedia has a concept called WikiLove and has a policy of "ass-u-me good faith" amongst its contributors. This is a vital policy because there is no good faith among any of Wikipedos, so it is necessary to at least pretend that the other guy isn't out there to be an asshole.

Wikipedia's new March 2007 rules demand that an administrator proves he has a higher (PhD) degree if he claims he has one. So far that bullshit lie to the public has not been enforced.

Wikipedia has very weak armor and only a level 3 shield. Thus, they are open to a flanking attack from pretty much anybody. And since they have about eighty updates per second, it's easy for a small but fatally incorrect change to slip through unnoticed. Also, Wikipedia is quite prone to hivemind, since everybody wants to be an admin, and disagreeing with Wikipedia admins is an easy way to not become one.

The administrators of Wikipedia are generally open-source advocates and therefore tend to have no knowledge of how to run a successful website. They are constantly arguing with each other over how often the GNAA Wikipedia article should be nominated for Articles for Deletion section, disregarding the Wikipedia Policies and Guidelines which prevent multiple attempts. They delete the important sites, but keep the bullshit. Like:   Fart lighting.

Actually, the only thing in which Wikipedia beats ED in is a higher percentage of vandal users. For a prime example, see: Sceptre.

Contributors to Wikipedia are not valued. Bimbo Wales has said that editing is a privilege, so you are not really donating your time by editing articles. Most contributions (images, text, etc.) are actually deleted, and the users with the most power (Administrators, Bureaucrats, etc.) contribute the least content to the site. The site is so shitty that it is pointless to try to improve it. The best way to fix it would be to just delete it and start over.

 
“ 		 
Wikipedia is a stalking mill designed to stroke the egos of social reprobates and other fringe groups who don't belong in normal society. The people who are there long term and essentially live there for the most part fit the profiles of true sociopaths.

Wales developed a great gaming system on Wikipedia which he uses to attract the dregs of society -- people who don't have lives are who aspire to be "famous and great" are [h]is marks and he's come up with a rat maze to lure in the stupid, lonely, and ignorant.

I've been famous and in the public eye for what now -- 15 years? I have to say, power, fame, and attribution are overrated. There's a simple wisdom is simply accepting who you are and being happy about it. None of the psychos on Wikipedia seem happy, it's a perpetual war zone and highly competitive. But what eludes all of them is the cheese at the end of the maze -- there is none -- just the smell of cheese.

Wales and his cronies just whore all of these idiots through their "Wikigame" (The site is an online gaming system essentially -- see who can get to the end as an "Admin" or "Arbitor"). Wikimedia then cashes in on everyone's hard work.

When was the last time Wales took one of his admins to get a massage in a russian house of ill repute on Wikimedia's dime? But HE DOES.

Bottom line, its a bunch of morons being used to run his business for free, while his cronies back at the Wikimedia offices cash in on everyones hard work and pay themselves 300K+ salaries per year,[sauce plz!?!1!] divert and misappropriate the funds and live the good life by living in fancy hotels and eating fancy meals while the rest of the stupid schmucks live in their mom's basement or their trailer parks in New Jersey and Alabama while Wales and his cronies cash in on YOUR HARD WORK.

It's got to be the second biggest scam after Linux development. Linus Torvalds has a similar model. Let people "contribute" so they feel good about themselves, while the project and site owners rake in the $$$.
 

„
 

—  Jeff Merkey

The Never-Ending Story

A common misconception is that "Wikipedia is never finished." Remember, each Wikipedia article you come across was forged from the blood of thousands of angsty teenagers edit warring over really important facts about the world.

The real problem with Wikipedia is the Wikipedians. From players to sysops, every member of its community is the scum of the internets - worse than spammers, worse than script kiddies and Nigerian scammers, and worse than IRCers. The average Wikipedia user has the   intelligence of a seal, and   bathes or showers once a month.

Wikipedia is full of people with no desire to improve what it is intended for, information. Instead, they want to grow their e-penis and one day become a mod.

The only way to save the Wikipedia MMORPG is to delete all usernames and only allow two players to be its administrators: Grawp and Willy on Wheels. All other accounts will be reduced to powerless IP addresses. Its' users will then continuing their bitching and pedantic arguing. Tosh had the right idea: get over there and post some fucked up shit.

Reliability

  Moar info: Mechanophilia.

 
Example of self-perceived reliability at Wikipedia.
 
The good people of wikipedia handle history's most complicated issues with an opened mind and detached objectivism.


Michael Scott On Wikipedia


In 2007, a variety of scandals began to surface from within Wikipedia. Mainstream news organizations began to openly discuss the common public perception that Wikipedia is "unreliable." In a sophisticated experiment, it was demonstrated googling "Wikipedia" and "unreliable" generated more than 502,000 "hits". In contrast, a similar search using "Encyclopedia Dramatica" and "unreliable" generated barely more than 300 "hits", with most of these being self-deprecating jokes of humility from Encyclopedia Dramatica editors. Thus, it was scientifically proven that Wikipedia is much, much more unreliable (see graphic). Anyone in the world can edit Wikipedia, which means you know you are getting information from the best source possible.

Acceptable Sources

Wikipedia has very strict standards regarding the sources you can use when editing. The following is a list of some of the most common ones.

Additionally, many editors simply cite obscure books that no one owns. That way, no one will ever be able to prove they're totally bullshitting.

Pornography

 

So great is the amount of porn on Wikipedia it (almost) rivals ED - a fact made all the more pathetic by the fact ED is made by and for basement-dwellers and those with a disgusting sense of humour whereas Wikipedia is genuinely trying to educate people.[citation needed] Here is a list of the very full articles dedicating to proving that sad fact:

WP:Admins control universal truth

  Moar info: The Wikipedia Jews.

Wikipedia mods come trolling the world from the heyday of the page between retards and the search results of Google. Mankind has been trolled in its entirety by no more than a bunch of anal-raped Aspies, who just log in for World Domination. Unsurprisingly, among those interested in world domination are psychological warfare experts from Mossad and the JIDF, who relentlessly insert Israeli propaganda into every article that they can find, and ruthlessly suppress anything critical of ZOG's schemes. The magic of the Electronic Dictatorial Totalitarian Democracy, all in the name of volunteering for the best idea of the world for an encyclopedia. Long Live Wikipedia!.

What is "wiki lawyering"?

When an administrator or an editor liked by the administrators cites policy, it's considered valid. When an unwanted user cites policy, it's "Wikilawyering" or "bludgeoning", regardless of the validity of the arguments, so it can be dismissed and tossed down the moat.

Inconsistently applied policy

Wikipedia deletion policy states subjects have no say on the deletions of their own articles.[3] As so often on Wikipedia, policy is not applied consistently, making it pointless.

In this example, satanist Michael Aquino was able to request the deletion of the article about himself. Guy Chapman, then an administrator, considered it a valid reason.[4]

  •  
    (Click to expand)

Hivemind

  Moar info: Wikipedia Admin Gallery.

 
A satirical GIF that was censored by Commons' kindness brigade. "Porn = Good. Satire = Bad."
 
RMS loves Wikipedia. No other commentary is needed.

Wikipedophiles, especially sysops and recent patrollers, share a hivemind. They all think alike, act alike, and no matter how abusive a member of the hivemind is, they always support it. Those of the hivemind look like they are sock puppets, but they actually communicate telepathically.

In 2005, like a colony of bees, the hivemind recognized that those outside the collective had their own individuality. Now they are a complete collective consciousness like the Borg and no longer believe identity exists outside the collective. To them, everyone is fake, an illusion; an actor who has no thoughts, emotions, viewpoints, etc. and must be eliminated/assimilated and until then they do it is viewed as trolling. Any expression of individuality is banned as trolling or, to use a common wikipodadminism, "disruption." See: Don't feed the trolls and   Don't Feed the Divas, especially the last sentence, which crushes what little self-esteem you may have:

"In some cases, the diva will stay retired, but the loss will be quickly filled by other editors who are not so high maintenance; editors for whom the goal is not self promotion and validation, but rather improvement of the project."

The hivemind extends outside Wikipedia as well, on those rare occasions that an admin strays onto another forum. A good way to start a flamewar with them is to hint, suggest, joke, outright state or otherwise insinuate that Wikipedia is anything less than the greatest academic achievement since the library of Alexandria.

Thus, because of the Hivemind, Wikipedia has immunized itself against any criticism. Of course, the corollary to this immunity, according to themselves, is because so many people are part of it, it can't be controlled. Due to the amount of participants, real criticism will come from inside. Yeah, that'll happen. Criticize the Hivemind at your own peril, because the Hivemind controls the power to delete your edits, to ban you, and to railroad you from social advancement (as SlimVirgin did to Gracenotes).

Recent Changes Patrolling (RC Patrolling)

  Moar info: Recent changes patrol.

 
The average recent change patroller is infected by the USI-virus.

Why the fuck would anyone want to patrol for recent changes? The articles are usually dull. Patrolling edits on Wikipedia is boring as hell. The only reason is to troll. Cuckolded administrators delete everything believing they are cyber judges (though IRL judges at least pretend to follow a set of rules) after their wives have refused to touch their cocks. (Just kidding, 80% of the fat little bastards aren't married and never will be. Lol.) If you actually attempt to post facts on Wikipedia and an RC patroller doesn't like it, they will use any sort of retarded excuses to revert or just call it vandalism. Failing this, they will attempt to make your argument invalid through the power of some argue.

RC Patrollers usually use scripts to search for specific things. They're actually very bad at catching vandalism in articles (this one went unnoticed for 17 days and   this went unnoticed for two years!), but very effective at finding anyone criticizing admins in talk pages where such criticism is reverted and the person banned forever. Real vandalism lingers and festers until years later, that account pisses an admin off - and it is only through wikistalking that Wikipedophiles are able to find vandalism at all.

Some RC Patrollers are also huge hypocrites because they are also vandals. These fake editors include Konstable and Blu Aardvark.

The Asperger Cancer

  Moar info: Asperger's Syndrome.

 
Anders Breivik has an edit reverted. (2012)

Any observant new user to Wikipedia will soon ask themselves "What's with all the running 'lists' of inane bullshit? I don't need to see a list of Russian deep fat fryer models built in 1963. Why are the administrators social misfits with little sense of wisdom or good judgement? Does Jimbo know of this faggotry?" The answer to both questions is that Wikipedia attracts Asperger zombies like flies to shit.

These basement dwelling virgins have alienated millions of normal people from Wikipedia. They take out their asperger rage for their hundreds of school yard beatdowns and permanent sexual isolation on the rest of us. It is believed that many of these faggots cannot even talk in real life. Jimbo can't stand these robots, but their problems are harnessed by Wikipedia as unpaid labor, which makes the profit for his hookers and blow.

Asperger zombies are relatively easy to spot. They will be:

  • White, and male.
  • Have their photo on their user page. Asptards have little sense of what is socially appropriate, and don't realize how   they come across. They mainly have   blank, asperger stares. This perma-virgin actually has a picture of himself with Jimbo.
  • Their user page will be covered in checklists, "to do" tables, programming code, personal details, and generally look like a spreadsheet. Look at this fucknut's older page version, before he knew ED was looking and had found the "I fuck on the first date kid" all grown up (scroll down).
  • Sometimes, those on the asperger/autism spectrum will openly declare their problem.   "Rainbowofpeace", who obsessively edits articles about discrimination, helpfully tells us how he is an autistic gay Jew with ADHD. That's a high score on the Oppression olympics!
  • Favorite subjects include men's rights, which were fought over constantly on TOW from its early days, and GamerGate. Because real human females won't talk to Cheeto-gobbling pimply 300-pound fans of Tolkien and My Little Pony.
HIVThis user has
Asperger syndrome.

Notable Wikipedos

  Moar info: Bureaucratic Fucks.

  • Ironholds, former WP:IRC rockstar, now desysopped for vandalism and for bringing the project into disrepute with such quotes as:
   
“ 		 
[19:58] <Ironholds> You should however have instead taken your pen, punched a hole in her windpipe and looked on as her attempts to wave for help got increasingly feeble.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
19:59:11 < Fluff|laptop> you'd think he'd have figured hiow to slap asses by now, but nooo

19:59:51 < tyw7> why is he slapping your ass?
20:00:00 < Ironholds> tyw7: we're fucking
20:00:02 < Fluff|laptop> why not? we DID say we're bored
 

„
  		 

Circumphilia - promotion of circumcision

 
Can you guess which of these three paragraphs appeared on Wikipedia in 2022?[5]
 
In 2040, they will want you to forget all about it.

People hate what they can't have.

A significant portion of the people who get to decide who is allowed to edit had the foremost part of their sexual organs cut off early in life, and secretly wish they had been allowed to keep it. However, they know that they can never be whole men again and own a foreskin. Therefore, all that is left to them to salvage their hurt confidence is to deny the importance of the part they are missing, the foreskin, so they can feel like they don't miss out on much and inflate their confidence.

One of the most egregious circumphiles, the sexless basement dweller Jayjg, was promoted into the wiki kangaroo court in 2005 by no one less than the founder. Why would the founder do the dirty work with his hands if basement-dwelling low lives are willing to do it for free?

As one would expect, Wikipedia transformed into a circumphile spam machine over the following years. It would not take long until other circumphiles were promoted into positions of authority: Avraham to administrator in 2006 and bureaucrat in 2009, James Heilman to administrator in 2010, and Zad68 to administrator in 2013.

Whereas Wikipedia used to mention that foreskin is "a highly sensitive part of the penis" in 2004,[6] anything negative about circumcision was quietly purged over the years. Wikipedia even went even as far in 2022 as to claim that circumcision does not affect sensitivity at all.[5]

 

Because this embarrassed Wikipedia, they had to switch coping strategies in 2023 to complicated mental gymnastics: "Circumcision doesn't actually affect sensitivity, it's just the attitude that affects the sensitivity!!1!!1!"

 

Looks like they can't make up their minds.

The administrators who are not circumphiles quietly tolerate the circumphilia.

Besides, what kind of person would have a positive attitude towards having had a part of their body cut off without their approval, especially as a defenseless infant?

 
Age of consent for circumcision: Zero.

Deletion count contests

Some administrators compete for the highest deletion count so they can proudly show it off to their peers on their user page. To inflate their deletion count, they seek any excuse they can find to delete pages. For example:

  •  
    An administrator vengefully deletes over a hundred valid geographical articles because their author was blocked three years earlier over a minor incident.
  •  
    Proudly presented on her user page.

Funnily enough, the deletion policy that would later be named WP:G5, deletion of creations by an author disliked by the administrators, was a spontaneous and undiscussed invention in July 2003 by an early Wikipedia administrator, Martin Harper, who also happens to be a circumphile. This means WP:G5 is a circumphile invention.[7][8]

TOW & ED

  Moar info: ED vs TOW.

See also: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Encyclopedia Dramatica, ED vs TOW, and Encyclopedia Dramatica:ED vs. Wikipedia

 
ED had tits, therefore TOW-fans are homosexual. You'll notice that ED is wearing a hat with a hammer and sickle, the symbol of the glorious Soviet Union.
 
Wikipedia, not biased about ED at all.
 
We're back!
 
Even as a source, they still hate us.

It all started one day when Jameth, typing with only his penis, attempted to enter the mediacrat drama as a Wikipedia entry. It was   discussed and denied. This act alone sparked the creation of the wiki you are reading right now. Far as you know, you chronic masturbator.

Every year, Wikipedians pretend that they are going to delete the Encyclopedia Dramatica article.   Occasionally they do for brief intervals, mostly on the grounds of hosting the previously-deleted Mediacrat entry, but usually they wuss   out of it. The fucks tried it   six times that are still visible; there were others, vanished by that pathetic anime dork Avery "Ashibaka" Morrow. He hates ED. (And it's extra-lulzy because he was also a major protector of the 4chan article, which was also subjected to endless editwars. But then he was a moderator on 4chan for a long time.....)

Have a look at the   first archive of the ED article talkpage. There were earlier ones bu the Wiki-faggots deleted them. Yes kids, Ashibaka, Sceptre and Mbisanz are whining little pussies hells yeah.

Wikipedia's steadfast refusal to host an Encyclopedia Dramatica article has been the source of a great deal of hilarious drama on the site. Yet TOW continues to cover up any controversy associated with the topic and deny the creation of the article, even one that is unoffensive, informative, and well written. Wikipedia has articles on Bukkake, Goatse, 2 Girls 1 Cup, an extensive disambiguation page on dongs (including a page on a male porn star named   "Long Dong Silver"), and God knows what else. However, they have refused to allow a page on ED simply out of spite.

Update: Last closing argument (aside from Sceptre's faggotry):

 
“ 		 
Encyclopedia Dramatica – Reclosing this for the second time. We have a consensus - i.e we want to see an extremely well written draft with impeccable sources before we touch this again.
  		„
 

—Spartaz Humbug! 19:54, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

DISREGARD THIS SECTION, TOW SUCKS COCKS

An   Encyclopedia Dramatica article has been up on Wikipedia, in all its lulztastic, properly sourced and cited glory since   at least May 2010.

As expected, it took only a few hours for many Wikipedos to go into childlike tantrums, thus forcing yet another deletion review, deletion review number 57 to be exact. The topic of this deletion review is to determine the validity of sources. When the article was created, the source list was actually larger than the article itself, but this has since been trimmed down for a number of arbitrary reasons, the most prevalent being that TOW's editors are unable to live up to their own retarded rules. However, the overall consensus is that the article should stay and that anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite who is simply butthurt over ED's treatment of TOW and its editors and fails to realize that this immature behavior will only further the problem.

Wikipedia's Content Vs. Encyclopedia Dramatica's Content

  • Wikipedia relies on verifiability, not truth. ED relies on the lulz, and baseless jokes don't make good satire.
  • Wikipedia does not rely on primary sources, and hates academic sources. ED would post a photo from your high school yearbook if it's lulzy enough.
  • Activists use Wikipedia to skew articles to try to get NORP sympathy. ED shits on everyone for the sake of cheap jokes.
  • Wikipedos will argue by throwing around abbreviations. EDiots will laugh at you and mock your argument.
  • Wikipedia lets shitposters like Ryulong run rampant. ED has no problem telling its own founder to fuck off.
  • Wikipedia is almost always online. ED goes down every other day or some shit.

This section needs no witty dick jokes. Wikipedia is a giant punchline.

Tips On Vandalizing Wikpedia

  Moar info: Vandal/How-to.

  • Subtly insert false info, such as changing a person's birth date from 1970 to 1990, or insert info that is not obviously false, like: "x was a distant cousin of Bill Gates."
  • Make a new account every time you vandalize, so that even if you are caught, the admin can't revert all your past vandalisms.
  • Vandalize articles that are not actively watched by a lot of editors, such as biography of obscure living persons.
  • Always create an informative edit summary for your edits. For extra points, make up a spiffy character set with nonbreaking spaces...
  • Examples: ▲ ʙ ɮ Ⅽ Ⅾ ∈ Ⅎ Ғ Ɠ ╠╣ℍ █ ▄█ K █▄ █▀█▀█ █▀█ ●  ℙ ☭ Ⓡℙℝ ▄█▀ ▀█▀ █▄█ ▀▄▀ █▄█▄█ ✖ 匕 ▀█▄ ● ❛❜ This will help your edits look super respectable!

Power Words

Employ the following words to increase your wiki credibility:

  •   CamelCase - Sticking two words together to form the silhouette of a vagoo.
  •   Canard - some sort of Jew bird that eats fetuses and desecrates churches.
  • Good faith - A codeword for the 13 year old boys for which wikipedians are on the prowl.
  • Portmanteau - A sexual device used by wikipedians to have buttsecks regardless of gender or disability.
  • Schism - A euphemism for a catfight.
  • Shoa - a mythical tale of an effeminate mustachioed hero who defeats a horde of greedy beasts.
  • Admonish - To tie up and make gay manlove with the one that doesn't have complete faith in the Church of Jimbo.
  • Redact - To run circles around a pole until exhaustion
  • Coatrack - A maniacal stick use by wikipedians to hang their coats on.
  • Disambiguation - A process whereby someone who is unsure about their sexuality undergoes painful gender reassignment surgery.

{{  Unblock}}??

 
{{Unblock}} hard at work.

This is template you use to ask to be unblocked. After you've been blocked for no reason, you swallow your pride and ask that someone undo it. You then wait for an hour until some 15-year-old denies your request without even looking at it. Sometimes, if you insist arguing, they will block you as well from editing your user talk page, without banning you, for their own private wikipedo "lulz". At that point you can only appeal the block by email (which they will probably ignore as the jerks full of themselves they are) which can/will eventually be blocked as well.

If you get banned by an admin don't even bother using this because no matter how well-reasoned the {{unblock}} request, it always gets declined. Like this one (dead): "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A TROLL M0RESCHI YOU STUPID BASTARD! AFTER WHAT YOU FUCKING DID YOU DESERVE TO BE SHOT!" Clearly the person has proven their point, but the bureaucratic fucks are immune to reason or logic. If your request is declined, you may get a lame reason.

Whenever you edit on Tor and the node is blocked, always put an unblock message on that IP claiming it's no longer Tor. Sometimes they even get fooled. Admin said, "First time I've seen such a request where the user was telling the truth."

Zaiger's {{Unblock}} Request

For absolutely no good reason, ED's own Zaiger was given life with no parole in Ban L& by the ban-happy cockz at Wikipedia.

   
“ 		 
You have been blocked indefinitely from editing for abuse of editing privileges
  		„
  		 

—Lies

In one last fighting breath, Zaiger submitted an appeal using the {{Unblock}} template to try and parole out, but to no avail.

   
“ 		 
What I see here is you trying to blame someone else for your own problems.

...that doesn't mean that you are automatically pardoned for your own bad behavior.
 

„
  		 

—Wikidouches

Thankfully, no one cares about Zaiger.

Easy eBay Profits: Admin Farms

  Moar info: eBay.

 
A wikipedophile put this up on Jimbo Wales's talk page to complain about admin abuse by furries in kangaroo suits (look nearly real, don't they?). Jimbo avoided the discussion with a banning.

While shouting "op me" is an easy way to become an op on IRC, in Wikipedia it takes a little more work (but only a little more). The purpose of becoming an admin is to sell your account on eBay. (2006)

  1. Make a new account using dial-up or AOL, not proxies. These are the easiest ways to sock puppet and still use your other accounts for things like removing inaccuracies from Wikipedia.
  2. Create a user page so you look legit. The easy way is to fill it with userboxes until it looks like ribbons on a third-world military dictator. If you just copy somebody else's userpage, you will get caught. Then write up a fake bio that says, "Hi I'm only 12 and want to be an admin some day." Most admins on Wikipedia are too young to grow pubes, so you have to be in their age group. They never vote for anyone old enough to date.
  3. Don't question anything. Behave like a robot. Get one of those anti-vandal scripts and have it auto-revert while you sleep. Always revert: (1) Someone who reverts an admin—if you're lucky you'll occasionally beat somebody else to this (2) IP address users—because these are all vandals and sockpuppets (3) New contributors—because they don't understand Wikipedia (4) Anyone who has ever been banned before, even for an hour, because they're permanently shitlisted. Now don't worry about wrongly reverting any of these people, it happens all the time. Just say it was a mistake. No one in charge likes these people anyway. Learn the abbreviations for policy pages like WP:NPOV and WP:NOT and use them in your edit summaries. Nobody will care whether your usage makes sense. On talk pages, if someone asks a question, tell them that their statement is original research, speculation, and that Wikipedia is not a forum. Act like it is serious business.
  4. After a few hundred fake edits, go to the articles for deletion every day.
  5. Next, go to votes for adminship; always vote to support, so those people will vote to support you. This should be obvious. Admins like people who support admins and hate those who are critical of admins.
  6. When you reach 4,000 edits, go to requests for adminship and nominate yourself: Poof! you're an admin!!!
  7. Then go to eBay and auction it. Make sure the reserve price is over $1,000 so you don't sell it cheap.
  8. Until the auction ends, don't just do nothing or they'll know it's an eBay sale. Use the account for things like POV-pushing, banning any of the four shitlisted types you used to only revert (by any, I mean every user you can find). But if you're too busy, just find someone complaining about admins and ban them forever and lock their talk page; actually you have to do this at least once every day, or else somebody will think the admin account was hacked.

If you want to keep your account and not sell it:

  1. Get a life.
  2. If that fails, do the most respected admin activity, encourage vandalism. Vandalism is the only way you can justify your job. If there weren't so many vandals, there would be 4 admins. So get your script out and just ban randomly. Be sure to lock the user's talk page. If you see the user come back on, hide what they write and explain that they are a "sockpuppeting troll", ban them forever, and lock their talk page.
  3. Don't bother fighting vandals now. You've got the equivalent of a government job: you can't get fired, only transferred. Become a copycat of Willy on Wheels and you'll only get a new account.

Fun activities to do as admin:

  1. Mess with the   MediaWiki namespace.
  2. Ban other admins for lulz.
  3. Replace Wikipedia articles with ED ones. It improves accuracy.
  4. Unban all the Willy on Wheels accounts. Or just clear the entire ban list.
  5. Goatse the Main Page.

Heroes

 
When dealing with Willy on Wheels, it is Wikipedia policy to take it seriously.

All over teh internets, people complain about the bad things of Wikipedia; that they're all child molesters, Homeland Security agents, Zionist propagandists, furries, Jimbo Wales' alter ego is GreenRaeper (founder of WikiFur), how official policy permits admin abuse "is not a bug, it's a feature", and that there are news articles constantly on how they make snuff films with young boys. But nobody notices the heroes of the site:

  • Stephen Colbert.
  • Don Murphy
  • Willy on Wheels
  • Señor Pelican Shit - /b/rave soldier who researched and documented Pelican Shit to a new level, a serious concern still affecting Wikipedia.
  • Autofellatio Professor - Helped many people   Autofellatio_2.jpg.
  • Publicgirluk uploaded some pictures of herself to illustrate relevant articles and got called a troll by the master wikipedo wealthy pornographer for her trouble.
  • THE MOTHERFUCKING JUGGERNAUT BITCH!! reputed for massive AOL autoblocks.
  • Jew Aardvark Wikipedia Jews masturbate to his photos.
  • Squidward, the fastest vandal west of the Mississippi, known for harvesting more open proxies, creatin more sockpuppets than Bomis has porn. He is king gypsy who lives in Chicago by the lake. He hates Antandrus, Avraham & others as proved by his crappy website (lol down). The Wikipedia Jews are always on the lookout to raep him. Slap that foreskin, homes.
  •   Mike Garcia - high class of vandalism since 2003 (get a life!)

    "He is currently one of Wikipedia's most promising vandals. He appears to be persistent, creative, and knows to vandalize pages that will be seen by many people. One day, he may even be considered in a class along with the great Willy on Wheels, but he will need to "diversify" his vandalism before this can happen. Almost all of his vandalism has been to the English Wikipedia; a good piece of advice to him would be to start attacking admins' user pages on some of the foreign language Wikis. His recent vandalism of the Wookieepedia shows that he has begun this diversification process already. Mike, you possess a great deal of talent; the sky's the limit for you!"

  • Cplot--500 sockpuppets and counting, clowns!
  • Professor Tim Pierce teaches his students how to make the most of a wiki.
  • Wikipedia Is Communism.
  • That guy who wrote Hyldenism.
  • Grawp
  • Avril Troll
  • Anybody who has earned a spot   here. (Note that the top list expose the wrath actions from the King himself, to spread fear among vassals)
  • Undercover users from here, allied sites.
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica
  • Hagger
  • ByAppointmentTo
  • hipcrime
  • Anonymous member of ArbCom who whipped Wikipediocracy into a fury when he "tried to hack into the site" by means of following a redirect from his control panel to the site's host where he asked for the domain password to be reset. They were thinking about calling the FBI!

Wikipedia IRC

  Moar info: Freenode.

The Wikipedia IRC chat is a fun place to watch Wikipedophiles discuss criticism of the project while banning the critics, although a more likely discussion will involve eating Christian babies, banning other users to get their rocks off. A fun way to troll Wikipedia IRC channels is to announce that you are logging the channel. For some reason, Wikimediots raise strong objections to the publication of chat logs, so be sure to do it often. Just like Daniel Brandt.

And whatever you do, DO NOT LAUGH AT ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA.

Lulzy IRC

One:

<Slowking_Man> DCC SEND exploit = kline
<-- Slowking_Man has quit (Killed by Rez (This connection has violated network policy.))
<-- WikiTeke has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- CXI has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- CakeProphet has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<-- Poore5 has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

The only thing remotely funny ever from #wikipedia

<VegaDark> what's that one disorder called when a person looks like a kid all their life
<mavhk> VegaDark: infant death

Summation

Generally speaking, Wikipedia is the compendium of all human knowledge, both true and false. Except of course where groups (i.e. Furluminati, The Wikipedia Jews) go around turning arrays of articles into propaganda and bullshit.

Contrast:

  • "Welcome to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit." - Wikipedia front page.
  • "[Wikipedia] is not a place where people have the inherent right to edit" - Jimbo Wales, October 29, 2007. (Source)

Gallery

  •  
    Some people never learn.
  •  
  •  
    Edited by lonely spergs, you say?
  •  
    100 million people died from communist mass killings? Nah, who cares?
  •  
    Never forget what they wanted us to believe.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  •  
    Wikipedia is racist!
  •  
    If wikipedia says so...
  •  
    breaking the format is always fun.
  •  
    Typical Wikipedia Articles
  •  
    Sometimes it doesn't need to be vandalized.
  •  
    Another classic of pedantic pedophilic Jew-oriented gobbledygook
  •  
    An example of Wikipedia being trolled
  •  
    Citation or it didn't happen.
  •  
    What Wikipedia usually looks like.
  •  
    Many ED users are familiar with this page.
  •  
    An example of Wikipedia's superior intelligence.
  •  
    Breakdown of Wikipedia content
  •  
    Standard Wikipedia policy
  •  
    Typical Wikipedia user. Note the unix beard
  •  
    What happens when the Wiki main page isnt protected.....again.
  •  
    Proof that Wikipedia is full of Jews and Pedophiles.
  •  
    Wikipe-tan is sooooooooo kawaii desu! ^O^
  •  
    unfunny vandalism is not reverted
  •  
    Anonymous Japanese hit back at racist Wikipedia.
  •  
    TOW demonstrating their strict gb2nigger policy.
  •  
  •  
    Jimbo loves loli.
  •  
    Wikipedia love the mentally challenged.
  •  
    Cat girl wikipedos invade MMOs! next they e-rape kidz!
  •  
    A genuine beacon of professionalism. Unless you're a holier-than-thou pretentious asshole, i.e. 99.9994% of all Wikipedian regulars.
  •  
    Professionalism thrown back.
  •  
  •  
    TOW's Mission Statement.
  •  
    Revered the world over as an accurate, objective source of knowledge.
  •  
    Good for a perma-ban anytime!
  •  
    Proof that Wikipedos are drawhores.
  •  
    This is your brain on Wikipedia
  •  
    Say the magic words and it's banhammer time!
  •  
    You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
  •  
    Wikipedia has a leftist bias.
  •  
    The hottest pron on Wikipedia!
  •  
    Reliability comparison.
  •  
  •  
    The book version of TOW, in addition to being the best thing ever.
  •  
    Epic Edit!
  •  
    Editing often leads to sensible discussion on TOW.
  •  
    Pool's Closed, it are a fact. I read it on Wiki.
  •  
  •  
    Masters of their domain.
  •  
    Some wikipedia users will do anything for a barnstar.
  •  
    TOW implodes on its intellectual property
  •  
    Acknowledged by the WikiJews
  •  
    Wikipedia sucks cocks
  •  
    Wikipedia style guide for esoteric topics
  •  
    Proof that Wikipedia is ran by Paedophiles
  •  
    Grawp, whose username is removed, and then the "username removed" label is struck out for extra effectiveness.
  •  
    Wikipedia at its best.
  •  
    Just like Wikipedia, only 2 out of every 40 "women" are actually female.
  •  
    Now you can make shit up about Pulitzer Prize winning writers - who also make shit up!
  •  
    The new president is a black nazi!!!
  •  
    YES, THATS A CUMSHOT!
  •  
    The russian President
  •  
    Any penny donation is appreciated
  •  
    Nothing is obvious for Wikipedians
  •  
  •  
  •  
    A 'Quality Image' according to Wikipedia
  •  
    lrn2/wiki newfags
  •  
    The Wikipediatrician
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
    Wikipedia is about imparting information about important topics!
  •  
    Cool story, bro
  •  
    Now imagine how many propaganda teams don't advertise
  •  
    And another!
  •  
    Classic. Wikipedia controls Google.
  •  
    MJ is dead even on Wikipedia.
  •  
    Why Wikipedia is full of shit.
  •  
    Why the rest of the internet is full of shit.
  •  
    Mychael Styne will boom us all.
  •  
    Anonymous loves Wikipedia.
  •  
    Anonymous is also a wasted idiot.
  •  
    Finally, Anonymous bonk.
  •  

Videos


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3

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See also

 
The TL;DR version of this article

Wikimania

Villains

Supreme Assholes

External links

 
 Wikipedia

is part of a series on

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  		Wikipedia is part of a series on MMORPGs. [Gratz!Ding!]
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MMORPGs:

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Wikipedia is part of a series on Cults
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Wikipedia is a part of a series on Wikis
  Wikimedia

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Miraheze

Closing Logos Wiki • Ficreation • Reception wikis

POV

Citizendium • Conservapedia • Encyc • Metapedia.org • OrthodoxWiki • RationalWiki • SJWiki • A Storehouse of Knowledge • Wikinfo

Lulz & Trolls

Bad Webcomics Wiki • Encyclopædia Dramatica • The LURKMORE wiki • Lurkmore.ru

Unfunny

Inciclopedia • Illogicopedia • Kamelopedia • Sickipedia • Uncyclopedia • Wickerpedia • Fun Shitposting Wiki

Miscellaneous

Bad Webcomics Wiki • Boobpedia • BoyWiki • Bulbagarden • Countervandalism.org • Create Your Own Story • Deletionpedia • Editthis.info • Fan History • Know Your Meme / ROCKETBOOM • MeatballWiki • Outskirts Battle Dome • SCP Foundation • Spanking Art Wiki • Steal This Wiki • TV Tropes • WikiAnswers • WikiFur • WikiHow • WikiLeaks • Wikimapia • Wikiporno • WikiWikiWeb • Wipipedia • WP:DAILYMAIL

Dead

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People

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Wiki Concepts

Autoplay • Article • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Double redirect • Edit war • Minor edit • Namefagging • Preview • Random page • Redirect • Red link • Undo • Wikicide • Wikistress • Writing yourself into an article

 

Wikipedia is part of a series on

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Featured article September 22 & 23, 2012
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Bill O'Reilly 		Wikipedia Succeeded by
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  1. ↑ Wikipedia talk:Requests for adminship/Liz: Difference between revisions, 2015-07-31
  2. ↑ Wikipedia is the Ministry of Truth - Reliable sources - DigDeeper
  3. ↑ Wikipedia:Criteria for speedy deletion § Non-criteria (as of December 18, 2023)
  4. ↑ Wikipedia:Articles for deletion / Michael Aquino (archive 2016-11-30)
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1   Circumcision § Sexual effects - Wikipedia (October 30, 2022)
  6. ↑   Circumcision - Wikipedia (June 5, 2004)
  7. ↑ Martin Harper invents what would later become WP:G5 (archive)
  8. ↑ The early edit history of the "Circumcision" article (archive) shows the circumphilia of Martin Harper.
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