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EQ2Flames

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Using this Legends of Norrath card, you can attack a fat Feir'Dal with four black cocks.




EQ2Flames was a rather large forum-based fansite dedicated to a loony MMORPG, EverQuest II. Run by LFG, it is filled to the brim with drama, goons, /b/tards, trolls, and furries. Geez, I wonder what else that sounds like? There are many sections on the site where the players discuss the game, IRL shit, call people out, guilds, and get those pesky Chinese bot farmers banned. The site also sometimes hosts contests where one can earn IRL Jew goldz, or shiny forum titles for submitting screencaps of discovering the ancient sword of what-the-fuck-ever or a famous raid guild leader being retarded. (Redundant!)

Apparently it went down in or around May 2018. Nobody noticed because everyone had quit playing EQ2 already.

The Game Itself

They also have great grammar.

EverQuest II is, obviously, the sequel of EverQuest. Unfortunately, due to our ADD-riddled generation, EQ2 is by far more like World of Warcraft than its own prequel. Like WoW, the game has a ton of solo content, so if you'd rather pay fifteen bucks a month to play The Legend of Zelda, you have quite a few options of which MMO to choose. While EQ2 has a much smaller population, the amount of drama is about the same as any MMO, even ones that don't really count, such as Second Life (which EQ2 shares a common trait with - a ton of fucking furries.) Unlike Second Life, you can slaughter as many furries as you'd like, kill turban-wearing beggars in an Arabian city, dance with owl-men in the clouds, and bribe the whores of Freeport.

As the game's name suggests, you quest a ton. The NPCs have voice-acting provided by A-list celebrities, including a gnome in an undead orc-infested cave whose voice is the same as Invader Zim's. Player characters also have their own voices via emotes, which are great to use in pissing people off. There are also raids, which basically amounts to grabbing 23 other fucktards and going after some oversized dragon to stab it until it dies, then argue over the sword it drops. These quests and raids are also one of the catalysts of drama, and have brought upon earlier versions of EQ2Flames that were more server-specific, such as the now-baleeted Befallen Tavern. These were made since the mods at the official forums censored and deleted fucking everything that wasn't ass-kissing and other retarded things.

And thus, EQ2Flames was brought to the Internets.

The Forum Sections

The second expansion, Kingdom of Sky, was well-received due to the number of solo, group, and raiding content.
The result of Calbiyum trolling other servers' voicechat channels when they don't know how to mute someone.
  • Tradeskill and Home Décor: When you want to take a break from mass killings of furries and dragons, you can build a home and decorate it with weapons, BSDM equipment, and everyday furniture, then share it with the forums! Also, this is where the crafters grumble about their shit being nerfed now ubered because they wouldn't shut the fuck up.
  • Player vs. Player Issues: People here complain that "PVP is ruined forever!" when it was never good, not at all. It was literally a last-minute idea tacked on.
  • Battlegrounds: Whine about how there's no Unreal announcer in the Battlegrounds here.
  • Legends of Norrath: Basically, the same as Pokemon or Magic cards, except with EverQuest characters. SOE likes to flood the chats ingame about upcoming tournaments, which angers people who don't care about the cards.
  • Noob Questions: Don’t want to lurk moar? Ask here.
  • Forum General Information: Vote for the hottest camwhore, lulziest screencap, biggest pwn, ugliest furfag, or you can enter and win cash!
  • Information and Resources: The only drama-less part of the forums. Players can access guides here to further progress their quest of discovering the ancient sword of what-the-fuck-ever, taking a screencap of it, and going to Las Vegas to party with Antonia Bayle cosplayers and brag about said sword to a drunk Smed.
EQ2 GM Kimbial and Julie the intern.
  • Farmer’s Almanac: This is where you can help get the Chinese coin farmers banned. These people will be annoying and try to get as much money as possible in order to sell it for ridiculous amounts of cash. People who play on a player-versus-player server will kill them and post pix.
  • Your Guild Sucks: Is that raiding guild full of a bunch of pretentious retards? Scrub PVP guild that attempts to raid the opposing city all the time and fails? Find an unfunny guild name? This and other related shit is contained here.
  • Rate-a-Retard: Callout threads, where you’re supposed to provide as much evidence as possible that the person you are calling out is a retard. It’s like an ED article; the moar info, the better. If the thread is really good, it will land in the Hall of Flames.
  • Class Discussion: Every single class complains about being nerfed, being overshadowed by their evil or good counterpart, complain that their epic (no, really, that's what it's called) weapon isn’t shiny enough, or just whine in general that they can’t kill boss monsters ten levels higher than them in five seconds. Especially the rangers. The fucking rangers.



The Server Forums

How NPU got their strategies to defeat Trakanon.
Weegee visits Rhoslyn. Sniff!
An actual screenshot of the Befallen raiding community.

While there are many servers with their corresponding forums on EQ2Flames, only a handful are actually worth mentioning because true laffs occur on other sections.

  • Antonia Bayle: One of the lands where the roleplayers romp and play. And by romp and play I mean cybersex and cause drama about who's elf bitch is who's. A good example of this would be the guild Silver Circle.
  • Lucan D'Lere: Same exact shit as AB, except a bit less drama.
  • Venekor: The roleplaying PVP server that nobody gave two shits about. Nagafags raided their forums once, until LFG told them to cut that shit out. Ingame, it was merged with Nagafen because of constant whining. There's also Vox, but still nobody cares about that.
  • Befallen and Faydark: This is where you get your dose of PvP without ever killing another player. Here, one can browse this section for heaps upon heaps of JB, recruit for their brand-new raiding guild (a strict rule of Befallen is that everyone must create their own raiding guild, EVERYONE,) or discuss the term "wigger". The server is basically Slowpoke, in the game and in the forums, and takes a while to catch on to anything. This is why a lot of Befalleners claim that their server sucks and never does anything when in reality they're just too fucking lazy to do anything other than duel in Sinking Sands and troll each other to the point of archiving fucking everything.
    • Oasis: Lol all merged into Oasis now.
  • Nagafen: The players here are the children of PVE players (and later verified!) or WoW refugees that dislike the draconian laws the GMs use in that game. When you are killed in PVP, it is required that you whine about it on the forums. That’s why the Nagafen section has so many posts – most of them have no content and are just complete off-topic spewed memes among other bullshit. Eventually too many jokes about British people and their teeth led LFG to assign Talonis to become a mod there, and he banned multiple posters who dubbed themselves the Nagafen Seven. After a unanimous vote, Faabio has replaced Talonis as mod, until he fagged off to Aion. AdamPerson was the next mod until he snapped and deleted pictures of his obese girlfriend. Pudaan is mod now, and the faggotry level is still the same. Don't go there.
  • Guk/Nektulos: This is a server with a really disgusting name. It's also home of Ne Plus Ultra, a guild that devs are in, and eventually, out of frustration, gave out the strategies to defeat Trakanon. Either that or sexual favors were in included. Knowing the (former!) dev Aeralik, the latter is quite possible.
  • Everfrost And Blackburrow: A drama filled hellhole of a server. This is where you go if you are considered an outcast on the other servers. The 1-9 chat consists of people talking about their lives and how much they suck, or arguments about what the fuck ever you want. Seriously, voice your opinion on a cheeseburger. Somebody will call you a faggot.

Types of Posters

How to get suspended in EQ2.

Like many forums, EQ2Flames has an assortment of different kinds of posters. Each faction seems to dislike each other, and therefore, are the cause of many flame wars, especially in the General Gameplay section.

  • Casuals: These posters are players who don't play all day and all night, and usually have some days where they do not play at all! This confounds other types of players, since MMORPGs are life to them. They may raid, but not nearly as often, and therefore do not get the super uber gear that the raiders get.
  • Raiders/Hardcore: As for these guys, they won't fucking shut up about the content in EQ2. Looking at EQ2Flames as a whole, you'd probably think that everyone hated the game, but when confronted about it, they retort on how they like EQ2, but hate SOE. Who doesn't? Usually they bitch about the casual players, and how SOE is spoon-feeding them content, whereas the opposing side says the opposite.
  • PVPers: Player-versus-player fans. While these can be a mix of either hardcore or casual players, these types tend to congregate on the Nagafen server, and to a lesser extent, Vox or Venekor. They seem to hate bluebies, but many of them still are a fan of PVE content, which could make them hypocritical, but they don't care. If you tell them this, they'll just shout "BLUEBIE!" and go back to their little guild circle-jerk about Shard of Hate or something.
  • PVEers: Player-versus-environment fans. Eternally despised by PVP players, they prefer not to be chased around by 14 year-olds calling each other "fag" all the time. In one way, who could blame them? On the other hand, this could make them pussies for being able to go AFK and not get murdered by level eighties all the time. Sometimes, there are strange hybrids of PVE and PVP players running around, who are somewhat-accepted by PVErs, but hated even more by PVPers than the pure PVE players.
  • Quitters: They quit. They hate EQ2 to pieces, but still post on a forum about it. Normally, they complain about content that they left a long time ago (and it has probably changed a ton since then!), and then post hype about whatever new MMO is going to be released soon, such as Aion or whatever the fuck. Many of them are WoWfags and should be trolled and shot (in that order) on sight. Some of these quitters actually liked EQ2, but left for other reasons - read the LFG versus Grimwell incident to learn why.

EQ2Flamers

EQ2Flames includes a colorful and diverse cast of characters, from idiots to intelligent people, from /b/tards to goons, from the Wapanese to guys who are really fucking obsessed with Star Wars. While there is a large amount of members, a few of the most significant ones will be mentioned here.

NO WIGGER PLZ.
Pinski, EQ2Flames poopsocker.
Fursecution!
Matin throws a fit.
EQ2's intelligent community.
  • LFG: The admin of the site, as if you haven't fucking guessed that already. Nobody knows LFG's true age; some say he dates back to the American Civil War, while others claim he's 37 or mid-forties. Known for giving up his PVE lifestyle, joining the Nagafen server, then quitting MMOs entirely to pursue IRL endeavors, and falling asleep while receiving a blowjob, LFG gets a lot of hell from his own forum members and SOE themselves. If LFG even moderates the forum even slightly, many of the trolls will cry "NAZI!!!" but will back him up if SOE dare touch him. Besides doing obvious things such as posting porn or shock images, it is generally hard to get banned by LFG, and sometimes he has polls up for the community to vote whether to keep a retard banned or not. He also likes wrote this article! Please vandalize everything you can find that he is attached to.
  • Niber: Niber is the secretive co-owner of EQ2Flames. He does all the technical stuff, because LFG is an incredible noob at said technical stuff. Niber usually prefers to remain behind the scenes. Not much is known about him except that he really, really likes sports.
  • Pinski: The former guild leader of Dissolution, Pinski probably has the best knowledge of EQ2 game mechanics of any living person, EQ2 devs included. That isn't a good thing. He posts with a bad sense of humor and mercilessly eviscerates noobs who get out of line. He loves to whine and bitch, and not showering for weeks.
  • Illuminator: He and Pinski don't see eye to eye at all. He's known to get more Chinese plat-farmers banned than everyone else in the game combined. He also suggested the class discussion forums, which brought in teh traffic and jew gold.
  • Miroh: Was banned before because he asked for it. His first big ingame drama scene came about when he was suspended for a week from the game by the fat cunt GM Kimbial for saying the word "vagina" in the "/ooc" chat channel. Some years later, the wigger drama came up, and once Miroh used black person nigger, he was suspended for three days. Currently MIA.
  • Faabio: Also known as Shax, ever since the GMs nerfed his original name, Faabio/Shax is apparently a gay furry or a troll. Nobody can tell which one's the truth. He also loves PVP, and will bash "bluebies" at every chance he gets. He is on the cutting edge of MS paint signatures and considered the number one artist of his time. He has won basically every single contest on EQ2Flames because of e-popularity. Faabio has also gotten many items nerfed in his time including the legendary Gnomish spring boots and Rhoadillas necklace. There are no published photos of him although he is speculated to be about 15. He was seen on AionSource forums attention whoring it up, pretending to be a girl, and was de-modded on Flames.
  • Calbiyum: The king of trolls on Befallen, Calbiyum is an old meme-abuser who loves that friggen' owl. He has his very own spam thread. He also trolls the ingame voicechat on different servers, which is actually pretty hilarious since most people don't know how to mute others with the EQ2 voicechat client.
  • justingrelljr: Also known as Matin. Matin is like 10 years old IRL and got b& from EQ2 once for swearing in a public channel. Smedley let him go after Matin begged him via email. The email mentioned that Matin plays the game to get away from his poor family life, including his "brother who has autistic." Smedley didn't buy it, but wanted the little shit to gtfo so he handed him back his account anyway. Then he got banned again for spamming unintelligent shit about black people niggers (as usual.) Any comments about Obama will send him in a fit of RAGE. He also tried to vandalize this article.
  • Lord Pantz: Lord Pantz hates PvPers for some unknown reason. He's a fat slob in real life and eats lots of pudding. He also plays in a guild with the dev Aeralik who gives him strategies, and he was even featured in the 2008 ED look-back video.

For more of these jerks, scroll down.

Good Threads of EQ2Flames

Of course, EQ2Flames has a plethora of amazing threads which exhibit people that are poster children for abortions and are upset when they learn that on EQ2Flames, you cannot hide your evidence AT ALL. And what is displayed below is just the tip of the iceberg. Read on, folks!

Ritul

Ritul IRL.

An obese faggot that has not only stolen from a guild and tried to display troll's remorse, he has also sent bestiality-laced IMs to Pink Poodle, which become public right afterward. From there, LFG did something pretty awesome: found all his personal information. Oh, snap! Apparently, LFG contacted some of his co-workers and managed to find his driver's license photo, phone number, address, everything, but only provided the photo and first name to prevent legal shit. Ritul retaliated, and said that he was a hot, 20-year-old Italian boy, but of course, nobody believed him. LFG, being a law major, said that he couldn't claim harassment or privacy violation. Then, Ritul made account after account after account to annoy LFG, and a massive ban was issued. Later on, Ritul asked to be un-banned, but the vote was clearly DO NOT WANT. The best part? Pink Poodle has been 18 the whole time, but is assumed to be a perma-loli due to her obnoxious nature on the Befallen server.

ArrynDemarco

Originally, he posted a tale of two elves who were in love, had sex, broke up, had fights, and so forth. However, when he asked LFG to delete fucking everything, LFG replied with a big, fat no, and moved it into the Rate-a-Retard section for everyone to see. The OP was obviously being a butthurt stalker because his cyber-elfgirl chose another guy with more pixels, apparently. ArrynDemarco said ".... It just frustrated me that she wouldn't help me understand, she wouldn't repeat herself and if she did it was never the same. So I started logging so I could look back at it and just never turned it off =p...", whatever that means. After he deleted the pictures, little did he know that Niber and LFG had them saved on their hard drives, and re-uploaded them for the lulz. Tired, butthurt, and weary, ArrynDemarco disappeared into the void that is the RP servers of EQ2.

Dragonfist and Dragonsmiss

Dragonsmiss and her actual husband.

On September 4, 2008, Ratface got fed up with two players in the Exile section of Nagafen: Dragonfist, a Wapanese unmarried man with a daughter and Dragonsmiss, a fat married woman who is Dragonfist's online girlfriend. Dragonsmiss lets Dragonfist stay with her in her place for months at a time. Ingame, Dragonfist plays an 80 Monk on Nagafen. He was a member of the exiled guild Resurrection, but was kicked for sucking at brawler and reporting his own guildmates for using the f-word.

However, shit gets even worse... EQ2Flames looked through his MySpace, and learned that he lives with his daughter and his mother. In one of his MySpace pictures, his daughter is sitting topless playing some game on the computer, next to Dragonfist himself who is playing EQ2. (A censored version of this image can be found right here, of course.) Soon, Dragonfist appeared in the thread, calling Peak "kid" repeatedly, and saying "So you link my myspace and a conversation with a misunderstanding." Faabio, of course, pwned him on the same page with "A 30 year old who still lives at home really has no right to call anyone a kid." In this Ventrilo clip recorded by some PVP guilds, a conversation between Dragonfist, Dragonsmiss, and some guy called Kromo can be listened to for your listening pleasure. Witness the drama of phone sex, Dragonfist not moving out or getting a job, and random ingame drama.

HaloChaos

Yet another romance-related thread, except this time it was about Keigo, who had sex with HaloChaos' wife IRL AB Server Drama! Keigo said that HaloChaos (also known as Shintou) was causing the drama because he's a fucking retard, while HaloChaos says otherwise. At the time of the post, HaloChaos and his wife were still married. Keigo attempted to defend himself and said that HaloChaos threatened suicide often and didn't take his medication. He also FUCKING LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE for a suicide attempt. HaloChaos returns with that he has been taking the medication and he does have a mental disorder, which both he and his wife knows. The wife, Jen, slowly became upset with him and went seeing Keigo instead, and had sex with him because she's stupid. HaloChaos then joined a guild that they were all in, not knowing that the couple had sex. After learning of this HaloChaos went completely batshit, left the guild and flamed everyone. Then, HaloChaos brought up that Keigo lives off of his parents' money and should go to college instead of leading raids and jacking off to furry porn all the damn time. Later, the thread was moved into the Hall of Flames for being totally confusing, WTF-filled, and dramatic.

Lilyanna

Some clan had a meet in Las Vegas, clan leader's wife sleeps with members of the said clan. Guy calls her and posts topless shots, etc. She denies it, posts pics of her topless on a bed with another guy with a ring on. PWNAGE.

QEYNO'S TRIBUTE

Tubby.

Runeavenger, a player on the Vox server, died in late February 2009 of a heart attack. In his honor, people who played on the Qeynos/good side raided the shit out of the Freeport/evil side, but failed miserably. A failed troll called cloud2819 made a thread saying that the "Q's" (good guys) were just like Runeavenger - dead. This of course, enraged the players on Vox and others on EQ2Flames, and eventually found a photo of him. As you can see, he is a fat guy with acne around his lips, showing that once again, EQ2Flames can rival goons and channers with Internet detective shit.

Serapira

A liar from the Antonia Bayle server, who claims to have been an assassin, a nurse, and a professional musician... amongst other things. For example, one of her private tells said, "it bothers me when a kid dies from cancer, dying in my arms makes me the saddist. last week a little girl annabelle died in my arms and said don't cry i'll watch over you" She also had chemo and lost all her hair, 48 EQ2 characters, got hit by a car, lost her legs, sued the driver for 1.8 million, lives in Canada while her job is in the USA, and shot in the stomach but the bullet was stopped by her arm. Finally, she pretended to be her guildleader (when her entire guild is populated with her alts, all sharing leader status), kicking herself out of her own guild and then crying about it on a chat channel that did not give a shit. The chances of her getting into an actual guild? Guess.

She actually returned as Sangra, and she has more sooper-sekrit spy info: she practices lethal knife techniques on cedar trees, and calls herself an "Escrimador," a Philippino-style sword master, and made a pendant out of her last CPU core after it caught fire. At least she's original.

Reinkaos

This seriously is Reinkaos. Hail Satan!
Reinkaos tells us that he is a Pagan and does not spend money on bling and shit like that.

Like Faabio, this guy appears to be something completely offensive. Except here, Reinkaos is a complete retard about it. He really, really, hates jews, claimed to be permabanned from the game for being racist (when he was just trying to get attention, he still plays!) and tries to prove that whites are oppressed in America. But that's not all! He claims he is a goth model, has a huge house, worships Odin, has a hot Swedish wife, wears black eyeliner, owns two pet wolves, is part of a black metal band, and is of German descent. (He is probably a fan of the Hal Turner show.) He called LFG an old man, when it turns out that both Reinkaos and LFG are over 37 years old. After the EQ2Flamers did their searching, it was revealed that Reinkaos is actually a chubby guido. He also has more than one thread where he got annihilated by even the bluebies. After over two years of trolling, he has revealed himself... and the results aren't pretty. He's a true example of the Übermensch. His white pride propaganda brought out a kombat-unit, a Nazi from deviantART.

Miss EQFlames

In 2007, LFG held a contest: who was the hottest EQ2Flames girl? It was a tie between Chii and Fern - who are the complete opposites of each other. Both of them went to the FanFaire with EQ2Flames shirts, and were obviously ogled by nerdy men, both players and developers. View the images of all the entrants here, and enjoy your fapping!




The LFG versus Grimwell Incident

On March 10, 2008, the administrator of EQ2Flames, LFG, received this email from Grimwell:

 
 
It has always been the goal of our Influencers Program to embrace people who represent a diverse range of opinions about SOE and our games. The expectation we have for each Influencer is that they will provide open and honest feedback that we can consider or act on as a company. It is understandable that decisions made by SOE will not always be to the liking of every Influencer, and that constructive feedback from participants will enable us to better relate with our communities over the long term.

Your passion and enthusiasm for EverQuest II have always been appreciated, but your own activities in the last few months have led us to the conclusion that it is time for your participation in this program to end. You have been all but silent through the many channels of communication provided by the Influencers program; eliminating any benefit that your voice might bring to our attention in the service of the community.

At the very same time you have actively encouraged many ‘sensational’ issues to come to the attention of your community at EQ2Flames, even when those issues lacked merit. Additionally, you have abused your personal access to members of our development teams, with no regard to the harm it might cause them in the process.

For these reasons, we are ending your participation in our Influencers program. We appreciate the feedback you have given us when you chose to do so; but it is time for this relationship to end.

Please remember that any private information you were exposed to as a member of the Influencers Program is still protected by the non-disclosure agreement you signed when first joining the program."
 


 

—Grimwell; pissing off a community that has proven to be almost as lethal as anon;

Grimwell fapping nonexistent dick.
Grimwell tells LFG "lol, bai!" - and a shitstorm brewed forth.
Grimwell approves of a player called Btard. Could he be some sort of troll? UPDATE: Grimwell is more than likely a 4chan user.

This was probably spawned from a combination of LFG commenting on how SOE moved characters from a test server to the main ones, and the fact that Aeralik was accidentally given mod powers, causing him to delete a post mentioning his ingame character information and got mad when LFG made a poll whether developers should be outed or not. However, it's obvious that Grimwell angered the masses of EQ2Flamers. Even those who nerdraged against LFG for banning the black person nigger and mentions of 2girls1cup, and the whole 10bux thing to get rid of the annoying ads rose up and immediately either: a) cancelled their accounts, b) made "support EQ2Flames" avatars and signatures, c) mentioned EQ2Flames in their characters' names or characters' pets' names, or d) kept the (LFG) tag up ingame. This even provoked Snark to post the dox of many devs and GMs, including the non-retarded ones. Afterwards, LFG released even moar drama, including developers letting people exploit certain game mechanics - and most of the community backed him up, at the time...

It didn't end there. Rothgar, a pretty cool guy and a Van Halen-obsessed developer, tried to calm things down by making a post on his blog, and checking it every thirty minutes. This pissed off his wife who wanted a BBQ that day. A comment on the blog mentions that people were actually threatening violence towards SOE, further showing how fucktarded married men over the age of 30 can be OTI. The real reason why the whole shit nobody cares about happened was never revealed, but Rothgar and a few other developers gained the respect of EQ2Flames - just not Grimwell and Aeralik. It even spread to Massively, Fark, and Digg.

While the dox sparked moar controversy within EQ2Flames, especially in an argument between Legion and Adamperson in which Legion said, "This is not 4chan, and you are NOT Anonymous," there was still much lulz to be had. Overall, we can see that both video game developers and fans can be a bunch of butthurt retards. Who knew?

This seemed to simmer down after the Rick Astley Forum incident and right after Fan Faire 2009, when one of the EQ2 community managers, Kiara, commented on the Fan Faire 09 pictures thread. This thread is also a good read for actually hilarious images.

All in all, both Aeralik and LFG were so totally asking for it. Two years later, ALL WAS WELL, as they forgave each other.

Oh, and Grimwell works for Zynga since 2010.

Dousing of the Flames?

Near the end of May 2008, EQ2Flames stopped working. Nobody knows why, and nobody has been able to contact Niber or another higher-up of the site just yet. Many hope that the site will be put back up soon, or, at least, a similar site. The reason why? For the lulz, and not much else. However, it was all from an explosion in ThePlanet, a Texas server-hosting provider, knocked 9000 (I shit you not) servers offline, including EQ2Flames.

LFG's Meth Problem, and JesusOwns.com

The post in question.

In September 2008, LFG received word from a friend of his that SOE has been spreading around a rumor that LFG does a fuckload of meth. While this was true about a decade ago, he has since became an upstanding citizen of society and a born-again evangelical Christian. While it's unlikely that SOE spread a rumor of the sort (they only knew because he needed to provide such information for FanFaire 07,) and it's very easy to find out just by Googling up LFG's real name, it's still pretty lulzy that someone would actually do that. Needless to say, the EQ2Flames posters were more interested in the meth and the Jesus parts. LFG also mentioned his new forum site, JesusOwns.com, which cost him the respect of some posters, especially since the "Other Religions" section was originally titled "Satanic Verse and False Prophecies."

JESUS OWNS.
   
 
At the time, I was a high profile drug attorney, representing clients at trial who were caught with trafficking level quantities of methamphetamine and marijuana, and who would be sentenced to a mandatory term without parole of 30 or more years if convicted. The short story is that I became successful and flamboyant, which resulted in notice and survelliance from state and federal law enforcement. I was ultimately set up by a client in exchange for a reduced sentence after I made the tremendous mistake of accepting some meth from that client for my own use.


 


 
 

—LFG, on meth, being fired as a lawyer, and Jesus. PRAISE THE LAWD!

Of course, a site of this caliber is a decent target for raids, trolling, gay porn spams, goatse, and black person niggers. It wasn't long until Anonymous caught word of it, via this article or EQ2Flames itself, and well...

[Rick Astley]

On January 8, 2009, a certain EDiot made a comment on EQ2Flames that beastlord (a class that was in the first game that 100 people liked, but is not in EQ2) should be wordfiltered to Rick Astley on the official EQ2 forums. Not even a day later, SOE delivered. Could this mean the drama of March 2008 has simmered down? SOE went so far as to rename the non-gameplay discussion forum to The Rick Astley forum for a while.

Also, on March 23, 2009, the developer Autenil posted this video as the "new expansion preview" within a developer chat after another developer, Glip, brought up the song's lyrics.
Old Meme Becomes Trold Meme About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

It is noteworthy to state that Free Realms made a Rickroll item.

How to Troll EQ2Flames

Oh u, Faabio. Oh u.
Ae-tan's newest pal.

Obviously, every forum can (and will) be trolled in various ways. Provided below are some ways to troll EQ2Flames. Many are contradicting, but then again, this is EQ2Flames. Were you expecting anything to make sense?

  • Say something positive about SOE.
  • Say something positive about the game itself. (Conversely, saying that certain aspects of EQ2 suck will also bring about butthurt.)
  • Hell, just enjoy EQ2 in general.
  • Bitch about EQ2 all the time. Extra points if you still have an account, or have quit for a while and have bitched about it longer than your total game time.
  • Flame the Aion and Star Trek Online sections and ask why they aren't big on posts anymore.
  • When asked if you will quit EQ2 for a different MMO, say that no, you're sticking with EQ2.
  • Remind all the faggots who left for Age of Conan that FunCom's even worse than SOE.
  • If you are posting to the Nagafen server, mention how great EQ2's PvP is. Bonus points for berating WoW, or saying how awesome it is to play as a Necromancer.
  • Ask for more moderation for the PVP forums.
  • Say that WoW is harder than EQ2.
  • Mention anything about Vanguard being a failure... until SOE snagged it. Hell, just insert it into a post randomly, such as "lol the other day I killed Trakanon but then VANGUARD VANGUARD VANGUARD FUCKING FAILED LOL!"
  • Make your signature size too big.*If you're a dev, mention that a new feature will have all raid content include difficulty options, enabling casuals to get fabled and even mythical gear.
  • Praise LFG or Niber.
  • Berate LFG or Niber.
  • Make fun of Ron Paul.
  • Say how good Obama is the U.S. Remember, EQ2Flames hates niggers. And Democrats.
  • Upon signing up, do not include character, server, and guild information with your profile. These are displayed with every post anyone makes, and generally let other posters know that you're not an anonymous pussy. Even if you do not play the game, most people should at least include that in there. However, if you're trolling, just leave it blank. Srsly.
  • Use the Station Cash service and enjoy it.
  • Tell them that Gallenite is a faggot and his new game RIFT is going to be terrible.
  • Talk about StarCraft II

Do any of the above, even if you have no idea what the fuck it means, and you are guaranteed nerd rage in return. Here it is in action.

EverQuest 3

One of the oldest ways to troll EQ2Flames, and MMORPG players in general, is to mention EverQuest III. This was started by Allakhazam, on April 1, 2007. Here is the infamous forum post on the official EQ2 forums. While this happened quite a while ago, and many recognized the screenshots from Oblivion, many people still fall for this shit. When retards make posts about it, the posts are sent straight to the Carebear Corner, which is basically the Comedy Gas Chamber if you're familiar with Something Awful.

But it's going to happen... eventually.

EQ2Flames on YouTube


Hastely Bitches about EQ2Flames. Fatass.


The worst EQ2Flames-related video of all time.

See Also

Lord Pants enjoys his pudding.

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Featured article September 20, 2009
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