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Dylan Kimberlin
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This article contains a shit load of cock shots ! |
Dylan Kimberlin is a user, loser and YouTube abuser. If you enjoy raging at shitty vloggers who think they are seriously important; then check out Dylan right fucking now, because he is a true master of craft. Dylan burst out onto the YouTube scene with delusions of grandeur sometime in 2008. With no real direction, he proceeded to babble on webcam about bullshit topics he knew nothing about; ranging from pedophilia to "Phantom409 sucks, and here is why..." No doubt he is your typical "man-boy genius", with a zany Australian accent that's totally in your face dude. If you're into watching people embarrass themselves on cam, then Dylan is your cup of tea. While Dylan's not exactly internet relevant; the wikification of his failures are sure to entertain and astound.
Dylan's Tubes
This sad story began sometime in 2008 when an out of job Dylan decided to let out his frustrations at random people on the internet. Armed with an array of childish insults and memes dylan ventured into what would soon become one of the worst finales of any youtube career to date.
The majority of Dylan's videos were your typical angry boy rants about how much somebody sucked and what a big fag they were. That was until he found the YTYC and decided he wanted to become a member. Working hard to impress Dylan did anything from making videos about YTYC targets to even ripping off the members user names to try and fit in. Most of his names were rip offs of one of YTYC's elite member's former profiles and Dylan's personal Youtube crush, Subseven. YTYC members watched in awe as this stuttering Australian tried time and time again to impress and fit in.
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Looking for love in all the wrong Places
Aside from uploading ridiculous rants on Youtube. Dylan used his time on the internet to try and come to terms with his mommy issues. He did that by lusting after some of the most disgusting looking cougars he could find. One of his most notorious meet ups happened when he found an equally pathetic Yt user by the name of Stylidiumlane. Emptying his bank account, Dylan bought a flight to meet this woman and finally have sex with someone other than his mom. What came of this meet up is one of the most hilarious stories ever heard.
As Stylidiumlane waited patiently for the man she believed would rescue her from the grasp of lonelyness, she was confronted with a sad, skinny crippled man that needed her help to even get in her vehicle. It didn't take long for Samantha to get on the internet to rant about her disappointment while dylan slept soundly in their motel room.
Soon after Dylan came back to his Mother's house, Stylidiumlane broke up their relationship in exchange for some 
Naked Karaoke love.
After Dylan got comfortable with his new flame, he decided to attack stylidiumlane through comments and blog posts on several different websites. Stylidiumlane's lulzy replies cannot be described in words, so we'll let you read it instead.
Stalker could not be a more appropriate name, I sometimes wonder if he made this name to give him an excuse to follow me all over the tubes. Dylan and I do have a history, I have asked him to leave me alone, I am starting to think a restraining order is needed. When I returned from 5 months in Europe, it took 2 days for Dylan to fly to my city to see me. The minute he stepped off the plane, I saw he was not the man he had portrayed himself as, to me. He was shy & reserved, not the confident strong man he plays on Le Tubes. He walks with a limp and stands about 5'9, I am 5'11! I tried to see past this as we had formed a strong friendship over several years, but of course deception is hard to look past and I am all about honesty. He was understandably nervous, we had spent a lot of time talking to each other on the phone and online. I had Skype calls with him regularly & had spoken to his mum, who he still lives with, on several occasions. I am not going into the intimate details, you will have to go to X -Tube for that material... but lets just say that you can have all the right equipment for a job but if you don't have any training you aren't going to produce the best quality product. We went for drives around my city & I tried to look past the deception but it only made me wonder what else he had embellished. On the Sunday afternoon, we went for a walk round the botanical gardens and I explained to him that we would only continue as friends, he was happy with this and I took him to the airport so he could return home. We maintained contact but it was much more distant. A month later was the Sydney AsOne gathering., Dylan attended and spent most of the time with Angry Aussie & his other fan bois. The day of the gathering in Sydney we took a ferry over to Manly, I was with other friends and Dylan followed us to the pub - he thought he was a big boy and didn't want to take the dry route with AA & the underagers. He was pathetic, like a lost puppy and it was embarrassing for everyone involved. I went for dinner with my friends and from what I remember managed to avoid him for the rest of the gathering. Since then Dylan has bombarded my YT channel with comments from his numerous sock accounts which I block & delete. Now he leaves replies to my comments on other people's video's calling me a fat cunt. My only concern is that this is annoying for the person who's video he is tarnishing with his pathetic attempt at trolling me. From the first time I saw Dylan getting involved in drama I tried to stop it, I felt he was too exposed and worried that his family might be effected by his actions. He didn't seem to care that trolls may harass his mum or sister.
I think that the car accident that Dylan suffered has left him with TBI - Traumatic brain injury (TBI) can significantly affect many cognitive, physical, and psychological skills. Physical deficit can include ambulation, balance, coordination, fine motor skills, strength, and endurance. Cognitive deficits of language and communication, information processing, memory, and perceptual skills are common. Psychological status is also often altered. Adjustment to disability issues are frequently encountered by people with TBI.
'I am all about proof of course, so I found a photo I took at the gathering that Dylan had to poke his pointy nose into, as you can see he clearly wasn't meant to be in this photo, but couldn't stop popping up like a gopher at the slightest chance of getting my attention.
Later Sammi would also reveal the most shocking, disturbing, sad, and hilarious detail about Dylan: that he lost his virginity to his mom. Yes, you read that right. Dylan's very first sexual experience was with his own mother. Like the rape victim trying to recreate the rape with a "happy ending", Dylan chases cougars on the internet in hopes of replacing the taboo love in his heart that can never be.
Dylan drinks the k00laid
Heartbroken and distraught over Stylidiumlane's betrayal, Dylan decided the only way to mend his broken heart was to get out there and find himself another cougar that will finally bring him the closure he desperately needed..
It didn't take long before Dylan came into contact with a user by the name of k00laidgirl. One of the biggest youtube troll groupies to ever grace the face of the internet, Kristine was quick to take on Dylan's advances and the two became a couple and set the events in motion that would eventually bring forth their downfall.
Dylan became more and more entangled in Kristine's tentacles as time went on. Eventually she convinced him to whiteknight for her, and used him as a human shield in a series of internet scuffles. Long story short, in the end, when they both got all of their accounts raped and their entire e-lationship was laid bare for everyone to see, it was totally apparent that, not only was Dylan a willing dupe, but quite possibly the biggest cuckold in YouTube history. You see, although he had sent her pic after pic of himself with his cock out, she had never sent him so much as one pic of herself, naked or otherwise. In addition to that, as he was pining away for her in his rented room waiting for her skype to turn green night after night, she was out chasing negro dong everywhere else on the internet behind his back.
The events that unfolded are described in detail here.
Male Camwhoring
When Koolaidgirl and Dylan got all of their accounts raped, many of them were re-decorated for them. Dylan's facebook was given a racy new look, to mirror his curiously over-inflated ego. Needless to say Dylan's facebook friends got to know an entirely new side of him.
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yo, yo yo. sup, bitches
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Locked and loaded, Mom!
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Mother pays Dylan's facebook a visit
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Dylan is unable to show his face after everyone on his facebook saw his pen0r.
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I'm such a fucktard
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Dylan gets a proposition from Komikero
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Bawwwwwwwwing bitch
—Dylan Kimberlin, lerning2internet | ||
Grave Juice
This hilarious PM was ripped off one of Dylans compromised youtube accounts
Aftermath
Dylan and Kristine don't have many friends on the internets anymore, and are now going around to all of the people they trolled before and trying to ally themselves with them: Phantom409, Sc0tyG, Andi, etc.
—Dylan, kissing major ass | ||
There is only so much spanking and ridicule a man can take before he snaps, and it is obvious from his recent actions that Dylan has reached that point. Dylan will make videos claiming he is the king and that he owned everyone, despite the fact that he has not done a single thing other than make new youtube channels every day in order to hide his shame. His girlfriend Kristine is a well known troll groupie, accustomed to sucking troll cock. So one has to wonder what Dylan's humiliation, and lack of fire power to retaliate has done to their relationship. Not only is Dylan reduced to becoming friends with the people he tried to troll in the past, but he was also reduced to almost begging to Dramatube Administrators after koolaidgirl was b& from that pathetic website.
Dylan and his girlfriend will claim that everything trolls do, it's because they wanted them to, and it was all planned. Thus showing their lack of internet knowledge, and the fact that such statements are made by every lulzcow on the internet at some point. Yes Dylan, cried on skype to koolaidgirl about his inability to sleep and his rage for his family being exposed to his pen0r because it was all an elaborate plan.They will probably claim this section was written because they wanted it.
How you can Help
Dylan's worst nightmare is his Pen0r and his internet activities going into his IRL. You can help by making his worst nightmare come true.
- Dylan's Mother on Facebook
- Dylan's Sister Erin on Facebook
- Yvonne Busby Kimberlin
- Cheryl Kimberlin Kilgour
- Jamie Holmes is Dylan's roomate's Brother. Making inappropriate Jokes about his sister will get you extra internets.
Related Articles
- K00lAIDGIRL
- LambiSinClair
- MorganAnson
- TheSockDetective
- Tom Serson
- Phantom409
- Unwarranted Self-Importance
Resources
- Dylan on Facebook
- Dylan on Twitter
- dylankimberlin.com
- dylankimberlin on wordpress
- Dylan on Dramatube
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| Dylan Kimberlin is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
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Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
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| Dylan Kimberlin is part of a series on Ausfailia [Expand]
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