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K00lAIDGIRL

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File:KOOLAIDGIRL.jpg
Title: Tranny in Training
Name: Kristine Michelle Jones
Legend: A poor, pathetic sap's object of desire
Quote: keep pushing me people
The Disabled UberRecruiter Marine
Kag seen here "Living the dream..", a pathetic sad one.

K00lAIDGIRL, born Kristine Michelle Jones; believes she is the head honcho of les tubes, or at least one of the voices in her head told her so. With her fellow handicapped/disabled friends Dylan Kimberlin and GuyFellow, amongst an army of socks, she tries to convince all of YouTube that they are ones not to be reckoned with. From her overly-assured comments made in plain sight; Kristine will claim to have you hacked, doxed, ruined, and possibly assassinated.

Back To Business

KAG's kid, Trunique Thomas suffering from a tragic case of Duckface.

Some people are loads that should have been swallowed, Koolaidgirl should have been aborted. Some believe that should still be done. When she is not crying for men to white knight her, she is running all over several social networking sites trying to take credit for those that have done all the work trying to shield her from ridicule.

It all started one day when this middle-aged woman decided to pretend she was an Ex-Marine, lie about her weight, height, and features to lure men with obviously no real sex life to join her in her feeble attempts to tear down women that received more attention than she did, including MorganAnson, LambiSinClair and Tomken8dy(yes, he counts as a woman). It all failed when Lambi made racier videos than ever before, Morgan typed her own correctly doxed name and phone numbers in YouTube comments, and Tomken8dy exposed himself as the hermaphrodite he really is. This caused her to go over the deep end in a RAGE.

People noticed a trend in her behavior, she remained friends with those that could help her, and attacked anyone she wanted, thinking that she was under the sweet doves wing of her protectors. Slowly, her confidants either turned to MorganAnson's side (they liked pigs better than rats, apparently) or they turned on her giving the enemy the information and PMs and comments they needed to expose this rat once and for all.

But nothing bothers KAG on the internetz.

Skype Quotes from a Lunatic

   
 
I have a mean pussy nigglet....wanna lick it like katy's kids did her father's cock? it's sweet just like julie's vag...lick it mmmmm
 

 
 

—KAG, sex talk

   
 
fatherless daugther muahahaha....yes, I like all the ape fathers chosen in this video...that's just what they look like..and the children...nigglets are a product of uneducated black men..my god I couldn't have done a better video of the niggers myself
 

 
 

—KAG

   
 
yes understanding of my life and origins...but the black cock made me think I was in africa with the niggers...what do you think I should do about that?
 

 
 

—KAG

   
 
nigger secks is the best...big dicks mmmhmmmmm

oh oh...the best I want nigger cock now...can you help me please...my god you're making me hawter with every comment mmmmmm
 


 
 

—KAG, loves black cocks

   
 
women, well we talk behind eachother's backs IRL and online throw the same insults b/c is safe to do so...speaking of Basement dwellers...hey butt-er-face LambiSinClair, yea you're reading this, I land at DTW 8:37 am Thurs...I know you filed charges and all, wanted to make it easy for you to have me arrested..if not, I'll swing through your place on my way home just to say hi...how's that work for ya sugah?

YAWN new material or we're done...I'll look for that pic of me you have of me or you'll just see me in person at your door on Thursday because unlike you, I don't need anyone to stick up for me....but you will when I drop by this week won't ya
 


 
 

—KAG, pretending she has money to pay for a flight

   
 
LambiSinClair no, I'm entertained by a pathetic bimbo seeking attention on the internet for lack of it in her own life see you in a few days honey, hope you have those warrants ready for me when I show up at your door

knock knock
 


 
 

—Koolaidgirl, obvious vagina envy is obvious

   
 
@ParisGuyfellow abused? LOL over the internet? that's what you do...mess with people's heads.......nothing that happens here bothers me
 

 
 

—KAG, shortly before she read this article

   
 
see you in michigan Thursday...one way or another I'm making the time to stop by you freak of nature
 

 
 

—KAG is hardcore

   
 
I hope those charges still stand in Michigan...I fly into DTW on Thursday morning...if not apprehended I'm driving through lambi's to have a chat
 

 
 

—KAG doing it wrong

   
 
I'm distributing flyers tomorrow in mailboxes with all the links to your accounts to include slutload video

and offering a free dvd of your manmade vag for anyone that wants to see the neighborhood basement dwelling SKANK ahahaha
 


 
 

—KAG, spreading the love

   
 
@LambiSinClair how bout you pic the flees out of your crotch or does daddy do that for you?
 

 
 

—KAG, totally jealous of the incest

   
 
yes..he's worm food dead after the niggers killed him for being a white man he's dead and I fucked him while he was laying there too...it was good...i'm fapping thinking about the apes and worms oh baby
 

 
 

—KAG remembers her last moments with her beloved father and shares them with us

BANANA PHONE

In a drunken fit of rage one night, KAG and her disabled lover, Dylan Kimberlin decided it would be a great idea to repeatedly call and harass KatyMayFey, a mother of 4 and wife to an amputee to ask the age old question.

Do you want to lick her pussy? Meow Kitteh Kitteh


Kristine was forced to tap into her personal line to the mayor after KatyMayFey called the police of Caroline County. The police had to go to the basement to have a little chat with her, and let her know that harassment and death threats are actually a crime. Soon after this, the whole internet found out that koolaidgirl is nothing more than a basement dwelling loser living off her obese brother's welfare disability paychecks.

Koolaid goes to the Mayor

Video courtesy of Lesleyblood.


Someone should call (804) 663-6212 and demand a personal line as well. There are some great people in history, who have been allowed direct lines to the Mayor No internet stalker should be without direct political help. Koolaidgirl is one of those very important people. She's just like Batman and the Power Puff girls, except instead of being full of awesome, she's full of negro cum.

Kristine's X boyfriend

After a number of weeks of being stalked by Kristine and her disabled lover, Kristines X boyfriend decided to; 1.) BAW profusely, 2.) BAW profusely, 3.) BAW profusely 4.) FINALLY post something lulzy (there is a god... disreguard, I suck cocks).

doctorlurkenstein. does not want.

Some douchebags on Koolaidgirl

Losers with nothing better to do get involved, this one who apparently knew Kristine personally and decided to help the cause by releasing the truth about her arrest record, under Kristine Thomas.

   
 
Yeah, lets all be jealous of a woman dishonorably discharged from the marines for being arrested with a controlled substance and resisting arrest, who also has a charge for prostitution on her record. Not to mention a niglet and uneducated little boy friend.
 

 
 

—BoogarBeans aka her brother

   
 
Can you believe she refers to her own daughter by the N word, she is obviously taking her anger of been dumped out on her. lol
 

 
 

—BigDon6699, stating the obvious

   
 
and maybe you should think about how your kids would look at you if they knew how you acted online your a scumbag old whore who i cant wait till karma comes back and wrecks your life being a twat will catch up too you
 

 
 

Tom Serson talking about shit nobody cares about.

Angel Wings?

KAGS one of the nastiest of the bunch of bitches. No complexion, pale like Casper, pink like pork. Never knows shit and just wants to get in your business like the dumb clueless hoe that she is. She has an irritating attitude and is as shady as you can get. Lies straight to your face when you can see right through the bitch. Materialistic while always in denial of her ways, claiming otherwise. Mostly just trouble and not worth shit.

Just before she got thrown out by her husband

A Desperate Kristine owns herself

Tired of all the ownage coming her way, and with her retarded lover unable to do anything aside from throwing tantrums like a child. Kristine decided to turn to some old friends to try and get some support. Little did she know that she was entering the wolf's lair and allowing some very incriminating confessions to come to light. In the following video she is seen trying to mend fences with her former toothless e-lover, TheSockDetective, who she bragged about providing her with the greatest cybersex. Apparently Michael's liquor dick still makes her clit hard as it easy to see from this video that Kristine is e-cheating on her stupid boyfriend. But no worries, Dylan Kimberlin is too fucking stupid and delusional to realize Kristine just made a fool out of him. Time for Dylan to go back to raging at his other cougar, Stylidiumlane for dumping him.

The Happy Birthday Massacre

Kristine's wet dream
Hello Mum! Check out me pen0r!
File:Compromised - DramaTube 1280256484870.png
"Just letting everyone know that all of my accounts skype,hotmail and facebook have been compromised, anything you get under my name is NOT from me."
File:Dylan DramaTube RAGE.jpg
"MY COCK IS OUT THERE ON FACEBOOK"
A winner is you
File:Koolaid skype OMG I GOT OWNED lol.JPG
o rly?
File:Kristine dramatube on lockdown.jpg
Koolaidgirl(happy) on Dramatube. "Happy" and on lockdown.

Koolaidgirl had been slowly and systematically turning her mildly retarded e-boyfriend Dylan Kimberlin against everyone on the internets, in an attempt to use her one-man personal army to rebuild her long dead self-esteem. The internets responded by slowly and systematically infiltrating all of her and Dylan's accounts, and monitoring their chats for about 2 months. Many many dirty secrets came out in that time period. It was discovered that Kristine was essentially using Dylan, while fucking around on him behind his back the whole time, with several black guys and TheSockDetective. In fact, it was discovered that, although she had never sent so much as a picture of her tits to Dylan, she was actively cybering with TheSockDetective on several occasions.



The internets patiently waited until Kristine's birthday, July 27th, 2010, to expose this massive sting. One by one, accounts were commandeered and remodeled. As Kristine and Dylan slowly realized what was happening, they began releasing frantic distress messages.

   
 
@phantom no we are not in yahweh,there the ones who have done this shit, our skypes have been compromised youtubes everyting so righ now phantom shut the fuck up or get out of my way BECAUSE IM NOT I THE MOOD FOR YOUR FUCKING BS MY COCK IS OUT THERE ON FACEBOOK AND i HAVE FAMILY ON IT DIP SHIT, DO YOU THINK I'D DO THAT? FUCK AND YES IM FUCKING RAGING,
 

 
 

Dylan Kimberlin, lerning2internet



A bittersweet victory came for Dylan later that day when he was able recover his now infamous facebook account. Unfortunately for him, now he gets to go through the uncomfortable chore of explaining to his family and friends why his schlong was posted all over his account earlier in the day. Family gatherings will never be quite the same again.

Here's a list of all the accounts that fell victim that hilarious day:

Skype Accounts

  • koolaidgirl2 - recovered
  • kitanaful
  • dylankimberlin

Kristine Reacts

   
 
why haven't any of you billy bad asses come to my home huh? really
 

 
 

Kristine, talking tough

   
 
keep pushing me people
 

 
 

Koolaidgirl, internet badass

Mah pictures on teh internets? oooh noes...

Kristine's vacation photos About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
{{{5}}}

External Links

Youtube Accounts

Contact Information

  • Address:Kristen M. Jones c/o Bro. Charles Jones 2508 QUAIL OAK DR, Ruther Glen, VA 22546
  • Phone: 415-618-0869,703-850-2624, 804-448-8024           
  1. [email protected]
  2. [email protected]
  3. [email protected]
  4. [email protected]
  5. [email protected]
  • Kristen M. Jones's professional resume from her deleted Linkedin.
  • Personal website
  1. http://uberrecruiter.com/body_index.html
  2. http://uberrecruiter.com/html/body_contact_uber.html

VP-Member Services
Utilities Telecom Council
1901 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Fifth Floor
Washington, DC 20006
[email protected]

  • Trunique Thomas (Daughter)

Smoothie Maker
Wallajuice
4487 Cheshire Station Plaza
Woodbridge, VA
703-670-2207

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K00lAIDGIRL
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET

Pitfalls:

AspierationsBLANKING IN PROGRESSCharming NaïvetéDelete fucking everythingDOIN IT RONGEdginessFailing itInternet tough guyKids on the internetLegal actionLiberalismMental illnessMod SassSkript kiddiesSob StoriesTrollsUnrealistic ExpectationsUnwarranted Self-ImportanceWaaaambulance

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