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Gun control
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
—USMC | ||
Gun control✡ (or guh control if you're a 
nigger) is the act of restricting guns to only one type of person. Such as in the instance of the Virginia Tech massacre, gun control is used as a scapegoat issue. If you own a gun, it will kill your children, even if you go to church. Keeping guns away from your family will solve all your problems.
Crackers on average have the best gun control skills. Azns, however are quickly catching up. Niggers and spics have virtually no gun control skills at all, because they hold the fucking gun sideways. They use the quantity not quality principle, expending copious amounts of ammunition while shooting down everyone but their intended target before finally just beating him to death. Pwning in Halo does not mean you have good gun control skillz, that's a tiny little joystick you're using for the game.
History
Cause of gun control
After an hero named Adam Lanza released all the RAAAAGGGGEEE he had inside by successfully causing a massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School and killing twenty puny little first graders, six staff members, his mom and himself, it created a lulz-ticking bomb upon Americunt and made the entire nation BAWWWWW as well as making Black Jesus deciding to try establishing gun control as his butthurt reaction. Apparently, Black Jesus thought that making guns illegal would make crime stop and was too fucking brain-raped to remember the Second Amendment. Then when many people brought it up he's still trying too hard to establish gun control by making guns only for the Jews. Before this ever happened, gun control was just a hole in your ass.
What occurs in gun rampages
During rampage
- A gun owner forms his/her own shooting game IRL to set a high score under the influence of Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto.
- After he/she designs the game, he/she finally gets to play his/her game and get a high score by killing as many people as he/she can.
- Either he/she's arrested by the party van and puh-leez or gets death penalty if he/she's in a state with a government that gets easily offended by these games, or he/she commits suicide and is remembered as an hero.
Aftermath
—A typical response to a shooting rampage especially from Sandy Hook. This apparently came from asshurt Christfag who made an extremely butthurt page after the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre [1] | ||
- People around USA start to BAWWW for at least one or two days, posting about their prayers towards a crucified Jew and saying a bunch of big posts of crying and bitching and saying they want to give teh most br00t4l torture to teh murder forever and saying the killer will suffa forever no matter what and saying the killer is burning in hell even though that's where killers go to party.
- Everyone complains about how much they hate the world and that the world is a horrible place.
- The event gets a pretty colored ribbon that people hang up on things to pretend they care.
- If you make jokes about it to rub it in then they toss a bitch fit and say you'll burn in hell, then brag about how much of an awesome Bible thumper they are and then say they'll go to heaven after death.
- During funerals of the victims, the most famous church in the US known as the Westboro Baptist Church protest the funerals, saying that God punished America especially that city for allowing homo marriage. They do it in order for people to go against queers.
- People post Facebook pages online towards the killer as a public vendetta putting a lot of nerd rage and Christfaggotry in it. The vendetta is just like those grudgewankers posting attack articles on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- Eventually everybody forgets about the victims which breaks their promise to remember them, then the victims are all another one of the shit no one cares about.
- And the whole thing happens again...
Public school fallout
In the wake of any large scale public shooting, especially school shootings, comes McCarthyist level mass hysteria which causes public educators to start seeing crazy, murderous psychopaths everywhere they look in their classrooms. This in turn creates absolutely hysterical headlines in the news media about five year olds being arrested, interrogated and suspended for simply running around shouting, "Bang! Bang! You're dead!" like any normal, happy, healthy, American child with any ounce of creative imagination. However "thought crime" is very real in our public schools and children are now taught very early on that there is no line at all between fantasy and reality, ironically creating the very environment which specifically breeds child killers.
Reaction to gun control
Right now
Right now, everyone is against Obama's fascist law and since they all can't buy guns since they don't have enough money unlike the kikes so therefore now the new war to toss a huge bitch-fit is by starting massacres and killings. We'd like to thank Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Akein Scott, Brian Oliver, and others for their support!
Arming teachers
This is an issue? We can't even trust public school teachers with the job of educating our children and now we want to arm them.
This is an imminent disaster. Schools should be treated like jails and everyone should be unarmed because the last thing you want to do is give a 15-year-old emo, cutter a dangerous weapon that can be stolen.
How long before we have to sit through a hostage crisis because a teacher had their gun taken from them to see that this is a bad idea?
Who supports gun control?
- Aspies
- Bald people
- Britfags
- Communists
- Faggots
- Freedom haters
- Japan
- Jews (DUH!)
- Leftarded baby killers
- Mothers for dead babies and getting robbed
- Nazis
- People who want to save emos from themselves
- Pinkos
- Scandinavia
- Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists
- Terrorists
- Your Mom
Who owns guns?
- Rambo
- Puh-leez
- The Pigs
- FBI
- Angry Ex-Marines
- Your Dad
- The one who will be ejected from your cunt
- Government
- First graders
GangstazSince they didn't obtain them legally and properly registered them, they merely are in possession of guns.- Ushers
- Sikhs
- 20% of homos after a mass shooting happens
- Bald people
- GI Joe
- Christians
- Chuck Norris
- Anonymous
- Pissed off azns
- Rednecks
- Charlton Heston
- George Washington
- Everyone in the CIA
- Barack Obama
- John Hinckley Jr.
- Survivalists
Street soldiersStolen, so they possess them- Mark David Chapman
- Not Jews
Bloods/CripsAgain, they possess them- Los Zetas
- Niggertarians
- The bodyguards of anti-gun politicians and Fat ass activists like Rosey O'Donnell and Michael Moore
Other things to do than shooting
- Stabbing
- Stealing a military tank and attacking the city
- Running people over in a car with really fast driving to the max
- Baseball bat abuse
- Cutting one's nipples off
- Castration
- Move to a different country
- Become a Jew
- Tossing stuff like vehicles at people (unless you're too much of a fuckin' wimp and you can't lift something with really small weight)
- Grenades
BombsAs of April 15, 2013, it won't work due to the Boston TNT Party.- KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!
- Suicide
Examples of who to give this advice to
Examples of who doesn't need this advice
- Terrorists - Bomb
- Link - Blade
- North Koreans - Bomb
- Sand niggers - Bomb
- Muslims - Bomb
Ever since decades of violence; people can still use anything as a weapon nothing can be stopped just by the restriction of weapons. So go ahead and restrict whatever the fuck you feel like restricting faggot laws. DO IT FAGGOT
Era of gun control
| ERA: | GUN CONTROL WAS ONLY FOR: |
|---|---|
| 1790's-1820's | French Revolutionists, Britfags, and all armies |
| 1910's | Germans who abused it and pwnt Americunts by fucking up their Lusitania |
| 1920's | |
| 1930's | Rednecks, all crackers, KKK |
| 1940's | Nazis, Japs, Britfags, Americunts, Franklin Roosevelt, French |
| 1950's | Beatniks, John F. Kennedy, crackers, Freedom Riders |
| 1960's | Hippies, Martin Luther King Junior, niggerz |
| 1970's | Disco, classic rock hipsters, punx |
| 1980's | New Romantics, glamfags |
| 1990's | Grunge, wiggers, nu metal kids, sand niggers (which caused 9/11), metalheads |
| 2000's | Anyone who isn't a sand nigger or Muslim |
| Since December 14th 2012 | JEWS ONLY!!!! |
Conspiracy theories
Like any event with high casualties, the basement-dwellers came out droves after to spout several conspiracy theories after the shooting. Most of these conspiracy theories were spawned due to inconsistencies in the intial reports, and some of these fucktards believe that the entire event was staged in order to strengthen stronger gun control laws.
Several videos popped up on YouTube picking apart every bit of the "official story" so the video makers could put in their own asinine theories. Some people believe that the parents of the children are all "crisis actors" because they apparently didn't cry hard enough when they were on the news, and one of the parents even laughed before an interview! Therefore they are all actors and the children may never have existed at all! Which would quite literally mean the ENTIRE town, with a population of over 27,000, would have to be in on the cover-up. Other theories include that there was more than one shooter, and that there is no way an autistic guy could shoot 26 people and leave no survivors. What the theorists fail to realize is that Adam Lanza was molded to be a killing machine by his bitch mother who took him target shooting throughout his entire childhood, and that every person Adam Lanza shot, he shot multiple times. Also, there were 2 people who were injured in the shooting.
Theorists who question the children even existing do so because no official shots of the dead children for them to jack off to were released to the general public. Some believe one of the girls who was "supposedly shot" was seen sitting on the lap of Barack Obama a few days later. It actually turned out to be her sister. Because if the president was trying to create a big government cover-up, the 1st thing he'd do would be to flaunt the supposedly dead children in front of the public.
The theorists behind the conspiracies call themselves "Operation: Terror," and most of them are also the totally reasonable people behind the 9/11 and Oklahoma Bombing conspiracies. If you believe these theories, you should take advice from Adam Lanza and an hero immediately. If you come across any of these nutjobs, do not try to reason with them, because they do not have the mental compacity to comprehend facts. They are people who automatically think inconsistency means conspiracy, and will find holes anywhere they can, and actually believe their YouTube videos mean something. It's best to leave these people alone in their basements so they can plan out how they're going to stop the government from taking their guns.
There are also theories that the Jews did it, but they're better at flying planes into buildings, so that's less likely this time.
The effective end of gun control
Improvised firearms
Technically speaking, the entire concept of "gun control" is a paper tiger, one that only holds any meaning or relevance to those on the lesser end of the intelligence spectrum. In actuality, ALL guns could be effectively banned outright and yet the production, sale and use of guns would in fact still be used just for Jews, possibly as a revenge to Germans. Otherwise USA are trying to make Israel a state, and all the army is replaced by Jews who are the only ones who can use guns. This will make a bigger army for Israel so they can bomb Palestine and piss off Al-Qaeda, even though it will then be the 9/12 attacks.
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Anything can be made into a zip gun, even old pipes by some jocky. -
For the especially frugal gun enthusiast there's always the paper gun option. -
Spending more money on a zip gun than a real gun is perfectly normal behavior for some. -
Results may vary, ED is not responsible for you blowing your fingers and/or hands off. -
The stealth approach.
3D printed firearms
In addition to hobby-fag level pursuits, guns can now be printed right in your own home for less than a thousand dollars. This undertaking was initially pioneered by the non-profit group Defense Distributed who had grandiose dreams of creating a "Wiki-Weapon Project," being able to effectively share and print guns from anywhere in the world at low cost and with little required technical know-how, they set out to take a proverbial shit all over Congress and their assburger-ridden attempts at control and regulation over firearms... and boy did they. Now we can use the guns to kill all the Jews! In less than two years they went from half-ass prototype to a fully working, fully printable plastic gun which "requires" the user to put a chunk of metal into the casing so that they can humor metal detectors into believing that they still have some relevant use within this world. So now we got some nerds who are better than our government.
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Original attempts focused on creating the firing chamber, the legalese definition of a "gun." -
The first attempts proved to only be able to fire about 6 rounds before exploding as a prank by 8-Ball. -
Subsequent revisions proved infallible even when firing off hundreds
of rounds of bullets. -
The first entirely 3D printed, open source weapon, "The Liberator" -
"The Liberator," printed, assembled and ready for action! DIE MF DIE MF DIE MF DIE MF DIE! -
"The Liberator" after use.
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video |
How to troll supporters of gun control
- Say that it's just a governmental conspiracy
- Say that Obama made all these massacres to control guns
- Refer to any 2012 gun massacre/big killing as epic lulz
- Show them this article
- Say that gun control's fascist bullshit
- Say that banning guns is unconstitutional if they can't handle the Bill of Rights
- Start a gun massacre
- Tag all these gun abusers as "heroes"
- Spread other killing methods suggestions all over America
- Say that Sandy Hook was the funniest 2012 gun massacre evar. (Serious talk, this will make them start to get butthurt for a long amount of years!)
How to troll detractors of gun control
Main seeds
These are the main seeds of gun control since (and including) the massacre in Newtown, all mentioned in Black Jesus's speech about said bloodbath. All five of these combined increased his tiny ass brain and made him think of a clever drama-generating technique.
Clackamas Town Center Shooting
Ten days before December 21, 2012, a BR00TAL-looking guy with ear gauges named Jacob Tyler Roberts came into a mall full of Jews. He would later go rob the bank in it, firing at and fatally pwning two adults and severely injured one, but didn't kill em all, which led to quite a low score; only two people killed. Despite the fact that he was probably on level 1 in his IRL game, it got all over the news and many people were offended by the controversial IRL gameplay. After killing two people and not being able to get a good score on a game that was too fucking hard, he fatally shot himself and became an hero; being remembered for being one of the brave contributors to this legendary video game.
Colorado Theatre Shooting
Moar info: Colorado Theatre Shooting.
In July 2012, when a bunch of couch potatoes went to watch a movie called The Dark Knight Rises, ((((((James Holmes)))))) shot the fuck out of a shitload of people with his guns, killing a dozen and injuring about 58 others. Then he got arrested and now they will be seeking the death penalty as the court are apparently intolerant fags and the judge is too much of a bigoted fucking pussy to tolerate mentally ill people like Holmes.
After the epic massacre, some cracker girl who apparently liked metal/punk bands like Job for a Cowboy and The Exploited was apparently extremely butthurt since she got unlucky and couldn't join in the fun IRL shooting game said she wanted Holmes to get the most painful, slowest death and she wanted to see it occur so she can watch him suffer SOFFFAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!1!1
Sandy Hook
Moar info: Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre.
One day, on December 14th 2012, a hero named Adam Lanza made up his own fun M-rated video game. The IRL game took place at his former elementary school called Sandy Hook. After killing his mommy, possibly cause she couldn't understand him, he deleted his Taylor Swift porn by smashing the fuck out of his hard drive. Then, he went to Sandy Hook Elementary School and racked up a multi-kill of 26 in one of the most epic bloodbath cleansings in recent history! As the pigs rolled up and tried to confront him, he had only one more person left to kill: himself. So he finally put his pistol to use, and shot himself in the head - becoming an hero; remembered for his bravery to play a dangerous game.
Sikh Temple in Wisconsin
In August 2012, a skinhead named Wade Michael Page came over to a Sikh temple in Wisconsin and genocidally shot a bunch of redskins who hid their long ass hair in some weird hat with a ball sticking out on top because they're in a religion where hair is scared of scissors. When the pigs came up, the skinhead later shot himself.
Pulse Nightclub Massacre
A closet-queer named Omar Mateen decided to go for the High Score by shooting up a gay club in Orlando, Florida. He managed to get about 50 kills, becoming the #1 player in the American server, before losing the title only a year later. Due to the victims being "minorities" (See: spic) and gay, this has caused very high levels of butthurt from the liberals. However, this was one of hundreds of mass shootings, so Americunts are naturally used to this shit, thus reducing the amount of drama generated.
Vegas shooting
Moar info: Stephen Paddock.
Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting
Moar info: Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting.
Not main seeds
These are shootings that failed to meet the FBI's criteria for qualifying to be called a 'mass shooting,' which they define as at least four deaths in a single event shooting. The people that perpetrated these shootings are to be laughed at, because failing to clear a hurdle as low as four deaths after careful preparation and planning, when you're heavily armed and against unsuspecting and unarmed and usually underage victims, takes a special kind of fuck-up.
Randy Robert Stair
Moar info: Randy Robert Stair.
Aztec High School shooting
Moar info: William Atchison.
Central Michigan University Shooting
Moar info: Central Michigan University Shooting.
Gallery control
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Guns should be used in video games... like Adam Lanza when he set his own shooting game IRL. -
A typical reaction from anti gun loonies. -
A goth girl's definition of gun control. -
Bears also are very curious with the gun control topic. -
Second Amendment is responsible.
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Gun controll: When you troll fans of gun control -
A butthurt reaction to guns at torture chambers by the government. BUT WHY? THOSE PLACES ARE FOR TORTURE. WE HATE THOSE PLACES BECAUSE OF THAT. -
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LET HIM BEAR ARMS YOU GOVERNMENT FAGGOTS -
DIE BLACK JESUS! -- Sincerely, Black Judas -
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BAN THIS. -
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Julius Caesar was a firm believer in gun control -
The logic, it burns -
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Liberal cuck's story -
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A new way to kill! -
Peter Griffin's view on gun control -
That's why stabbing is legal! -
The best thing! -
It's gUNLUCKY Brian!!! -
ADAM LANZA -
Black Jesus also was smart enough to realize a very true statement: Criminals follow the laws, therefore, if guns are controlled, they wouldn't be shooting cause it's illegal for them to get the guns now! -
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Even the successful black man supports gun control! -
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Cook,Serve Delicious knows that gun control cuts crime in half.
See also
- BAWWW
- Bill of Rights
- Black Jesus
- Bullet to the Head of the NRA
- Call of Duty
- Christianity
- Colorado Theatre Shooting
- Columbine
- Conspiracy
- Dead
- Drama
- Drama-generating technique
- Fascism
- George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter
- Grand Theft Auto
- Gun
- Hell
- Murder
- Reaction guy
- Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre
- Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists
- The Clown Prince Rises
- Victim
- Video games
External links
- Jim Carrey's asshurt reaction to opponents of gun conTROLL
- Gun control: Made so there is more crime
- List of all the epic shooting IRL games that caused Black Jesus to set this drama
- The cause of gun control
| Featured article June 8 & 9, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by HamletMachine |
Gun control | Succeeded by Transformers |
| Featured article February 21 & February 22, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by BlueCatRiolu |
Gun control | Succeeded by Count Dankula |