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Bashar al-Assad

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Al Bundy?

Bashar Hafez al-Assad or in English Basher Del Asshat born on the Moslem Holiday of, 9/11, 11 September 1965 is the 19th Dictator elected in a free, democratic Syrian election on 17 July 2000. He was able to win the office of Syrian President-for-life in a landsilide victory with 110% of the vote. A Puppet leader of the Ba'ath Party and ardent supporter of Islamic Terrorist Groups al-Asshat screamed the loudest for the destruction of THE GREAT SATAN until 2012 when he started crying for fellow Muslim U.S. President Barak Obama to help him maintain his aristocratic lifestyle of elected king and his favored possition as Chief Of Oppression, Violator of Human Rights, Keeping Wimmins Barefoot And In The Kitchen and Pimp Daddy King that Bitch Smacks anyone, with a long prison sentence, that has an opposing political opinion. Everything the Obama administration stood for.
In other words, let him keep having the life that every has-been, Libtard celebrity on Twitter wishes they had but with real word consequences and the power to make it happen with a country of their own and a people drive under foot with their insane ideas, much like Canadian Tara Strong and her ironic wish for the power and influence to be able to imprison, in concentration camps, everyone who went against her Far Left Political Model and voted for our great god emperor, Donald Trump.


The Begining Of His Political Career: Bashar Murders His Brother

With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?

Unable to live up to his older brother who, like all the world's royalty such as Prince Charles of England, was a decorated hero in the Syrian Military without having ever fired a weapon or been in a battle - Bashar understood that he could never live up to his father's and the people of Syria's favor of his older, better, and groomed for President/Dictator brother. Feeling that he was the one better suited to grinding the people of Syria under his heel and into a never ending circle of eternal servitude and poverty. Not being able to stand the sight of blood and Syrian soldiers giving him the nickname of Frank Burns for his buther like Army Surgeon skills and 100% mortality rate Bashar realised he wasn't cut out to be a Doctor. It was, perhaps being told again and again, "You Suck" by his contemporary doctors that Bashar felt it was time for a change of occupation and decided on the course of action of assassinating his brother.
On 21 January 1994, Bashar feigned an emergency that had his Brother speeding in the fog, in the early morning hours to Damascus International Airport for a flight to Germany on the Syrian Presidential Jet. As per his plan, Bashar had convinced his brother Basel to drive because after the assassin's car had struck Basel's car on the driver's side and at a rather high speed as well, Basel's chauffeur was found alive in the back seat of the car, wearing his seatbelt, while the driver's side seat belts had been removed along with the driver's side airbag .
Like all Liberal Politicians to come before him, Bashar cried the hardest over his brother's death and ordered that the entire Country of Syria be shut down and for 3 days as the country mourned Basel's death.
Following Basel's death a popular slogan was started: Basel, the man we wanted: Bashar, the leftovers no one wants.

Obama Hooks His Moslem Niggas Up

Being a fellow Moslem and friend to all rag-heads, terrorists, vagina mutilators and Islamic fundamentalism, Obama conviently looked the other way to Syrian war crimes and all other violations of human rights.
For all Obama and Hillary's complaints about our great lord and god emperor receiving aid from the Russians, Obama did his best to aid them and Iran through his inaction and indifferance when it came to Syria. Obama's refusal to interfear did nothing but discredit Syria as a state and allowed for Islamic extremists like ISIS to become established and gain power. More so, Obama's indifferent refusal to enforce threats he had previously made regarding Syrian war crimes led to an escalation in human rights violations such as the use of illegal chemical attacks against civilians both, Obama's inaction and ISIS gaining influence, of which started the overflow of Syrian refugees into Europe and America that Obama used as a ruse to hide his lack of involvement in Syria by calling President Trump xenophobic and racist when he spoke the people's concerns and told these refugees that nobody wanted them stinking up their neighborhoods, bringing terrorism to U.S. shores and they should all go back home because we already have enough convience store employees and McDonalds drive-thru cashiers that are incapable of speaking understandable English through an outdoor speaker.
Despite all these failings with his policies regarding Syria, Obama has gone on record saying that he is "very proud" of the outcome in Syria which includes the deaths of over 3,000 civilians because he refused to honor his own "Ultimatiums" regarding chemical weapons and allowed Assad to escape responsability.
As experts in Middle East politics put it so eloquently, Obama's legacy will forever be remembered for destabilizing, in a matter of weeks, what the free world has spent the last 75 years working their asses off to stabilize.

Assad Kneels Before Trump



Backing Executive Order 13769, or popularly known by Leftards as the Moslem ban, which mandates refugees from Syria be indefinately suspended from being allowed to resettle in the United States on a permanent or temporary basis, Assad supported the measure by going on record saying, "The executive order is written to be against terrorists that want to infiltrate and wage war against the West. It is the great god emperor of the West's intention to protect his people and to keep these people from coming into his country to do harm to his people. As a leader, I respect these measures. I don't see this order as being against the Syrian People or Moslems in general but as looking to protect them because if terrorist were to come in under the guise as being refugees and did great harm to the West like they did on 9/11, they would only further harm Western/Islamic relations that have been already damaged to a near, unrepairable extent by terrorists"

Syria And Russian Relations

   
 
If you look really hard, you can guess the exact second Assad started sucking Putin's dick
 

 
 

it's the Bond villian on the right and not the dork on the left that you should fear

Syria is the first time Russia has involved itself in a direct military conflict outside its borders since the greatest of all US Presidents, Ronald Reagan, hit them with an all American bitchslap and ended the Cold War in 1989 when he tore down the Berlin Wall with his own bare hands through the use of a tremendous Dragon Punch.
Historically, Russia has always aided the more belligerent Middle Eastern Countries like Syria during the Cold War years for oil and as a tool to destabilize the region by serving as a constant threat to the American Ally and great Middle Eastern Nation of Israel with economic and military assistance.
It was the Syrian Revolution of 1966 that cemented ties between Syria and Russia when Hafez al-Assad gave up his ass, along with Naval Ports and bases - giving Russia its much desired position in Middle Eastern Politics, that he was able to kill everyone in opposition to him and become President For Life of Syria in 1970.
Since 2011, most of what Russia's involvement in Syria amounts to is maintaining a government that the people of Syria no longer want. Since October 2011, Russia has permanently used its position on the UN Security Council to veto all possible U.N. Sanctions against Syria designed either to demand the Resignation of Basher Del-Asshat or to bring him up on war crimes.
Since 2015, Putin's influence in Syria has grown with him renewing the past "Syria is Russia's bottom bitch relationship" that began with Asshat's father when Putin once again committed military weapons and troops to resist the deposing of Assad that the Syrian people want.
Not wanting to anger his Moslem masters that want to depose Assad or his Russian pals, Obama famously did what he always does and did nothing, checking off Syria as a win in his box while blaming the former policies of George W Bush for all the recent discord in the region.

Reasons For Russian Involvment

Main reason: Oil you dumb ass piece of shit or have you become so brainwashed by the Liberal Medias of The United States, Great Britain and The Socialist Republic Of Canada that You believe that it's only America that goes out and destabilizes regions because it requires a constant flow of oil to turn into gasoline so it can feed its forever in conflict war machine?
First off: That was a good thing because it was the years between 1945 and the 1980s that the US broke Russia's back and they had to withdraw from the world stage. It was only because draft dodging libtards like Bill Clinton and covert communist agents like Hillary Clinton and Obama claiming the world was safe because there were no longer two world powers standing toe to toe against each other in perpetual stalemate and demanded reductions in the US military and its world Involvment that gave Russia the time to regroup and reposition itself on the world stage.
Another reason for Russian involvment in Syria revolves around the fact that Russia has no Naval Bases on the Mediterranean except for Tartus in Syria. If Assad were to be deposed and a new government instaled in Syria then Russia would have to renegotiate its position and would probably take an ass fucking to maintain it's only naval base in the Mediterranean or lose its presence on the sea entirely.
Finally: Weapons sales. The magazine Foreign Affairs states that the Assad led government is one of the biggest buyers of Russian made weapons. Like any good capitalist investor, ironic, Russia wants to protect its best customer and future sales interests.

Putin On The Ritz: Syrian Style

The epitomy of Bond villains

The big question being asked right now is, "Why did Putin committ Russian troops and weapons to Syria when these resources could be better spent elsewhere?" To quote George Mallory after he scaled Mt. Everest, "Because it was there," or better yet, "Because he could."
Military experts are claiming that Syria was a Russian demonstration of might and served to announce its return to the world stage as a military power. By showing its ability to invest money and military tools of war such as fighter jets, soldiers and missiles along with the ability to maintain these for a long period of time was designed to show the world that Russia has the economy and military capabilities to deploy a proper military strike effectively. Furthermore, it served as a show of force to the US, reminding the US that thanks to liberal generosities that they are no longer the decaying, former world power from the 90s, but are on the verge of retaking their place as a world power and can intrude on any side of any American led military operation if they so choose.
Now, go to sleep with the same worries that your parents and grandparents had knowing that the world is one bad hangover and an accidental button push from World War 3 and hope that the world will be there when you wake up. Goodnight and remember that if you're not at Ground Zero when the bomb hits and instantly vaporized you will die a slow and agonizing death from Radiation Sickness.


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