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Kurt Eichenbald: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Eichenbald.jpg|thumb|Kurt Eichenbald [[IRL]].]] | [[File:Eichenbald.jpg|thumb|Kurt Eichenbald [[IRL]].]] | ||
'''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} is a [[bald]], [[epileptic]] [[Jew]] who claims to be a "journalist" | '''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} is a [[bald]], [[epileptic]] [[Jew]] who claims himself to be a "journalist". Eichenwald first rose to prominence in 2005 when he was working for the ''[[New York Times|Jew York Times]]'' and wrote a highly-praised article about the world of online [[child pornography]]. Unfortunately for Eichenbald, serious [[Sin|ethical]] questions were raised when it was later revealed that he had paid $3100 to [[Fuck|meet]] a [[12-year-old boy|15-year-old]] [[CP|child porn star]] named '''Justin Berry''' for [[Netflix and chill|VHS and Chill]]. | ||
Being the greedy Jewbag that he is, Eichenbald quickly had | In [[2016]], Eichenbald made his big comeback to journalism by spending an entire year of his [[Kill yourself|miserable life]] writing [[Shitty attack article|shitty tabloid-level trash]] about [[The Donald|President Donald J. Trump]] while citing "[[anonymous]]" sources who [[Imaginary Girlfriend|most likely never even existed]]. After being confronted about his [[bullshit]]tery by the mighty [[Smart|logical-thinking]] powers of [[Faux News]]' Tucker Carlson, Eichenbald suffered a complete meltdown and went on an incoherent [[Twatter]]ing spree that was abruptly ended when a Good Samaritan named '''Jew_Goldstein''' posted a seizure-inducing .gif that [[allegedly]] resulted in Eichenbald being sent to [[Dissected-chan|the hospital]]. | ||
Being the greedy Jewbag that he is, Eichenbald quickly had Jew_Goldstein [[banned]] from the Twitter and then proceeded to turn the posting of a fucking animated .gif file into a [[literal]] federal case as he called in the motherfucking [[FBI]] to investigate. [[Hashfag|#BanAssaultGifs]]! | |||
Revision as of 05:59, 20 December 2016
Kurt Alexander Eichenwald✡ is a bald, epileptic Jew who claims himself to be a "journalist". Eichenwald first rose to prominence in 2005 when he was working for the Jew York Times and wrote a highly-praised article about the world of online child pornography. Unfortunately for Eichenbald, serious ethical questions were raised when it was later revealed that he had paid $3100 to meet a 15-year-old child porn star named Justin Berry for VHS and Chill.
In 2016, Eichenbald made his big comeback to journalism by spending an entire year of his miserable life writing shitty tabloid-level trash about President Donald J. Trump while citing "anonymous" sources who most likely never even existed. After being confronted about his bullshittery by the mighty logical-thinking powers of Faux News' Tucker Carlson, Eichenbald suffered a complete meltdown and went on an incoherent Twattering spree that was abruptly ended when a Good Samaritan named Jew_Goldstein posted a seizure-inducing .gif that allegedly resulted in Eichenbald being sent to the hospital.
Being the greedy Jewbag that he is, Eichenbald quickly had Jew_Goldstein banned from the Twitter and then proceeded to turn the posting of a fucking animated .gif file into a literal federal case as he called in the motherfucking FBI to investigate. #BanAssaultGifs!
#BanAssaultGIFs
Last Thursday a journalist got so triggered by a tweet with a blinking gif that he actually had a heart attack. By a twitter account(ant) named Jew_Goldstein.
See Also
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