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Kurt Eichenbald: Difference between revisions
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'''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} is a [[bald]], [[epileptic]] [[Jew]] who claims himself to be a "journalist". Eichenwald first rose to prominence in 2005 when he was working for the ''[[New York Times|Jew York Times]]'' and wrote a highly-praised article about the world of online [[child pornography]]. Unfortunately for Eichenbald, serious [[Sin|ethical]] questions were raised when it was later revealed that he had paid $3100 to [[Fuck|meet]] a [[12-year-old boy|15-year-old]] [[CP|child porn star]] named '''[[Justin Berry]]''' for [[Netflix and chill|VHS and Chill]]. | '''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} is a [[bald]], [[epileptic]] [[Jew]] who claims himself to be a "journalist". Eichenwald first rose to prominence in 2005 when he was working for the ''[[New York Times|Jew York Times]]'' and wrote a highly-praised article about the world of online [[child pornography]]. Unfortunately for Eichenbald, serious [[Sin|ethical]] questions were raised when it was later revealed that he had paid $3100 to [[Fuck|meet]] a [[12-year-old boy|15-year-old]] [[CP|child porn star]] named '''[[Justin Berry]]''' for [[Netflix and chill|VHS and Chill]]. | ||
Going all the way back to his college days, he busted his fat ass head on the floor in an attempt to defend himself from his fellow roommate who tried to put him in the oven which caused him to sustain a concussion, and then eventually led into noticeable seizures that weren't so different from the sperging out of someone who has [[autism]]. Despite all of this, he continued attending school, not even taking in the consideration that he could die from what he had; but never the less, the [[Shit|self-proclaimed journalism]] stage of his life wasn't far away as this point. | |||
In [[2016]], Eichenbald made his big comeback to journalism by spending an entire year of his [[Kill yourself|miserable life]] writing [[Shitty attack article|shitty tabloid-level trash]] about [[The Donald|President Donald J. Trump]] while citing "[[anonymous]]" sources who [[Fact|most likely]] [[Imaginary Girlfriend|never even existed]]. After being confronted about his [[bullshit]]tery by the mighty [[Smart|logical-thinking]] powers of [[Faux News]]' '''Tucker Carlson''', Eichenbald suffered a complete meltdown and went on an incoherent [[Twatter]]ing spree that was abruptly ended when a [[Troll|Good Samaritan]] posted a rapidly-flashing .gif that [[allegedly]] caused Eichenbald to suffer a severe [[seizure]]. | In [[2016]], Eichenbald made his big comeback to journalism by spending an entire year of his [[Kill yourself|miserable life]] writing [[Shitty attack article|shitty tabloid-level trash]] about [[The Donald|President Donald J. Trump]] while citing "[[anonymous]]" sources who [[Fact|most likely]] [[Imaginary Girlfriend|never even existed]]. After being confronted about his [[bullshit]]tery by the mighty [[Smart|logical-thinking]] powers of [[Faux News]]' '''Tucker Carlson''', Eichenbald suffered a complete meltdown and went on an incoherent [[Twatter]]ing spree that was abruptly ended when a [[Troll|Good Samaritan]] posted a rapidly-flashing .gif that [[allegedly]] caused Eichenbald to suffer a severe [[seizure]]. | ||
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{{quote|This is his wife, you caused a seizure. I have your information and have called the police to report the assault.|[https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/809616876011749376 HIS WIFE]}} | {{quote|This is his wife, you caused a seizure. I have your information and have called the police to report the assault.|[https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/809616876011749376 HIS WIFE]}} | ||
[[Last Thursday]] | [[Last Thursday]] the [[Sarcasm|oh so wonderful]] journalist got so triggered by a tweet which contained a rapidly blinking .gif that he actually had a heart attack, the Twitter handle responsible for it going by the name of '''jew_goldstein''' (already mentioned in the beginning of the article). He didn't actually experience one because it's [[Lol|virtually impossible to live through something like that without some serious brain damage taking place]]. | ||
{{quote|For self-protection, I am taking a short twitter break. I will be spending that time with my lawyers & law enforcement going after 1 of u.. Last night, for the second time, a deplorable aware I have epilepsy tweeted a strobe at me with the message "you deserve a seizure' on it......it worked. This is not going to happen again. My wife is terrified. I am...disgusted. All I will be tweeting for the next few days are......copies of documents from the litigation, police reports etc. Once we have the lawsuit filed, we will be subpoenaing Twitter for the......identity of the individual who engaged in this cross-state assault. At this point, the police are attempting to determine if this is......a federal crime because it appears to be cross state. This kind of assault will never happen again without huge consequences. This......individual will be going to court, and he will be paying a price. And if any of you others ever try this again, I will make sure it......happens to you. Online anonymity does not protect criminals. Thats why subpoenas exist. You are facing a criminal investigation and a......lawsuit. So if any of you others think about trying this "cute" prank, consider the consequences. They will be severe. Again, I will not be seeing your comments or tweeting for awhile except to upload copies of litigation and police documents.|[https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/809822169509273601 Kurt manthreading about his spasms]}}<br /><br /> | {{quote|For self-protection, I am taking a short twitter break. I will be spending that time with my lawyers & law enforcement going after 1 of u.. Last night, for the second time, a deplorable aware I have epilepsy tweeted a strobe at me with the message "you deserve a seizure' on it......it worked. This is not going to happen again. My wife is terrified. I am...disgusted. All I will be tweeting for the next few days are......copies of documents from the litigation, police reports etc. Once we have the lawsuit filed, we will be subpoenaing Twitter for the......identity of the individual who engaged in this cross-state assault. At this point, the police are attempting to determine if this is......a federal crime because it appears to be cross state. This kind of assault will never happen again without huge consequences. This......individual will be going to court, and he will be paying a price. And if any of you others ever try this again, I will make sure it......happens to you. Online anonymity does not protect criminals. Thats why subpoenas exist. You are facing a criminal investigation and a......lawsuit. So if any of you others think about trying this "cute" prank, consider the consequences. They will be severe. Again, I will not be seeing your comments or tweeting for awhile except to upload copies of litigation and police documents.|[https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/809822169509273601 Kurt manthreading about his spasms]}}<br /><br /> | ||
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===Kurt likes to dox others=== | ===Kurt likes to dox others=== | ||
Kurt likes to use Twitter in order to find out the private info of those who | Kurt likes to use Twitter in order to find out the private info of those who criticize him on Twitter and then begin to threaten them while also acting like the victim once it turns around on him in the worst way possible. | ||
<center><gallery> | <center><gallery> | ||
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</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
Since he likes to dox others, we at ED will extend the courtesy to him, this is his house: | Since he likes to [[dox]] others, we at [[Encyclopædia_Dramatica|ED]] will extend the courtesy to him, this is his house: | ||
[[File:Kurteichenbaldhouse.jpg|center|500px]] | [[File:Kurteichenbaldhouse.jpg|center|500px]] | ||
== | We're [[Truth|not lieing]] when we say if you have an active article and have doxed somebody in the past or present, it will unquestionably backfire on you like a [[nigger]] [[Police Brutality|trying to run from the police]], doesn't matter if you're a ED user or not. It's not much differentiating than a [[backraid]], except this isn't on a [[image board]]; it's on a major [[social media]] site that [[Irony|thinks the type of behavior Kurt is exhibiting is okay, but wishes to dish out suspensions to those who give him the backfire that he truly deserves]]. | ||
== Tweeting That It Was a Joke == | |||
<center><youtube>snlbqYDcB0U</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>snlbqYDcB0U</youtube></center> | ||
Revision as of 07:34, 30 December 2016
Kurt Alexander Eichenwald✡ is a bald, epileptic Jew who claims himself to be a "journalist". Eichenwald first rose to prominence in 2005 when he was working for the Jew York Times and wrote a highly-praised article about the world of online child pornography. Unfortunately for Eichenbald, serious ethical questions were raised when it was later revealed that he had paid $3100 to meet a 15-year-old child porn star named Justin Berry for VHS and Chill.
Going all the way back to his college days, he busted his fat ass head on the floor in an attempt to defend himself from his fellow roommate who tried to put him in the oven which caused him to sustain a concussion, and then eventually led into noticeable seizures that weren't so different from the sperging out of someone who has autism. Despite all of this, he continued attending school, not even taking in the consideration that he could die from what he had; but never the less, the self-proclaimed journalism stage of his life wasn't far away as this point.
In 2016, Eichenbald made his big comeback to journalism by spending an entire year of his miserable life writing shitty tabloid-level trash about President Donald J. Trump while citing "anonymous" sources who most likely never even existed. After being confronted about his bullshittery by the mighty logical-thinking powers of Faux News' Tucker Carlson, Eichenbald suffered a complete meltdown and went on an incoherent Twattering spree that was abruptly ended when a Good Samaritan posted a rapidly-flashing .gif that allegedly caused Eichenbald to suffer a severe seizure.
Being the greedy Jewbag that he is, Eichenbald then proceeded to turn the posting of a fucking animated .gif file into a literal federal case as he called in the motherfucking FBI to investigate and filed a lolsuit against defendant (((jew_goldstein))). Yes, he actually filed a lawsuit that listed an anonymous Twatterer with the handle jew_goldstein as a defendant.
A Boy and his Jew
—Eichenbald threatens to sue after being exposed as a sick fucking paedophile |
Jew Can't Stump the Trump
—Eichenbald, threatening to punch a Jill Stein voter in the face | ||
Jew Can't Cuck the Tuck
The Twitter Meltdown
#BanAssaultGIFs
Last Thursday the oh so wonderful journalist got so triggered by a tweet which contained a rapidly blinking .gif that he actually had a heart attack, the Twitter handle responsible for it going by the name of jew_goldstein (already mentioned in the beginning of the article). He didn't actually experience one because it's virtually impossible to live through something like that without some serious brain damage taking place.
—Eichenbald, internet tough guy | ||
Kurt likes to dox others
Kurt likes to use Twitter in order to find out the private info of those who criticize him on Twitter and then begin to threaten them while also acting like the victim once it turns around on him in the worst way possible.
Since he likes to dox others, we at ED will extend the courtesy to him, this is his house:
We're not lieing when we say if you have an active article and have doxed somebody in the past or present, it will unquestionably backfire on you like a nigger trying to run from the police, doesn't matter if you're a ED user or not. It's not much differentiating than a backraid, except this isn't on a image board; it's on a major social media site that thinks the type of behavior Kurt is exhibiting is okay, but wishes to dish out suspensions to those who give him the backfire that he truly deserves.
Tweeting That It Was a Joke
The .gif
See Also
- Bald Jew Angle Shot
- Child Pornography
- Paedophile
- Epilepsy
- Oven - Where baldy belongs.
External Links
#FreeJewGoldstein
Goldstein's now deleted Twitter
Pastebin about his child porn habits
Newsweek's Kurt Eichenwald sues Jew Goldstein over weaponized assault GIF on Twitter
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Kurt Eichenbald is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article December 28 & December 29, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Kwanzaa |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by 2016 |