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Golliwogg: Difference between revisions

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{{spoiler|ooga booga}}
{{spoiler|ooga booga}}
[[File:Authentic 19th-century golliwogg.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with black person]]]]
[[File:Golliwog doll.jpg|thumb|235px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with niggers]]]]
A '''Golliwogg''' (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]], [[Pokemon|Jynx]] and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]) is a popular children's character and [[doll]] that was created by '''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]''' in [[At least 100 years ago|1894]] and originally appeared in her book, '''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'''. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. As of [[2018]], having a Golliwogg in the [[UK]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate]] [[crime]].
The '''golliwogg''', also spelled '''golliwo''g''''' (a.k.a '''golly''', '''[[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]''', '''[[Pokemon|Jynx]]''' and '''[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]''') is a children's character and [[doll|soft toy]] that was created by ''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]'' in [[at least 100 years ago|1894]], while having it's heyday in the 1970s. Originally appearing in her book, ''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'', the word itself blended from "[[nigger|golly]]" + "[[frog|polliwog]]". The golliwogg is basically a [[black face]] rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]], featuring [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|dark black skin, luscious red lips, round white eyes]], jazzy afro hair and bow tie suit. As of [[2018]], having a golliwogg in the [[UK]] but also in [[Redneck|Southern]] [[US]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate crime]].


There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[Not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.


Secondly, Britain's [[Police|police forces]] are infamous for their [[racism]] and [[Murder|dislike]] of black person, and so they are [[Switch police on|always on the lookout]] for easily-solved [[SNCA|"crimes"]] that have a whiff of [[Bullshit|racism.]] The police think it makes good [[Propaganda|PR]] to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.  
Secondly, Britain's [[police|police forces]] are infamous for their [[racism]] and [[murder|dislike]] of black person, and so they are [[switch police on|always on the lookout]] for easily-solved [[SNCA|"crimes"]] that have a whiff of [[bullshit|racism.]] The police think it makes good [[Propaganda|PR]] to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.  


Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly [[Old people|old-fashioned loudmouths]] who won't [[STFU|shut up]] about [[Retro|the good old days,]] and lazy cops who know how to score easy points [[Typical|by harassing them.]] Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.
Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly [[Old people|old-fashioned loudmouths]] who won't [[STFU|shut up]] about [[retro|the good old days,]] and lazy cops who know how to score easy points [[typical|by harassing them.]] Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.
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* [https://www.buygolliwogs.com/ '''"Buy Golliwogs"'''] - it's a competitive market
* [https://www.buygolliwogs.com/ '''"Buy Golliwogs"'''] - it's a competitive market
* [https://community.ebay.com/t5/Member-To-Member-Support/Golliwogs/qaq-p/24626840/highlight/true '''"Ebay B& my golliwogs!"'''']
* [https://community.ebay.com/t5/Member-To-Member-Support/Golliwogs/qaq-p/24626840/highlight/true '''"Ebay B& my golliwogs!"'''']
* [https://www.fabtintoys.com/golliwog/ '''A UK-based golliwog fan site, not yet closed down by The Thought Police''']
* <s>[https://www.fabtintoys.com/golliwog/ '''A UK-based golliwog fan site, not yet closed down by The Thought Police''']</s> closed down!


==Golliwog's Cakewalk ringtone==
==Golliwog's Cakewalk ringtone==
* [http://engringo.com/tone/GolliwogYIs_cakewalk-145713/ '''Harmless amusement guaranteed'''] (Free download; Android and iPhone versions)
* [http://engringo.com/tone/GolliwogYIs_cakewalk-145713/ '''Harmless amusement guaranteed'''] (Free download; Android and iPhone versions)
{{clear}}
{{clear}}
{{Niggers}}
{{niggers}}
{{sj}}
[[Category:Crime]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]][[Category:Epithets]][[Category:Great Britain]][[Category:Lulz History]][[Category:Racial Tolerance]]
[[Category:Crime]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]][[Category:Epithets]][[Category:Great Britain]][[Category:Lulz History]][[Category:Racial Tolerance]]

Revision as of 18:12, 29 May 2023

Make your kids afraid to sleep with niggers

The golliwogg, also spelled golliwog (a.k.a golly, Mr. Popo, Jynx and Imperfect Cell) is a children's character and soft toy that was created by Florence Kate Upton in 1894, while having it's heyday in the 1970s. Originally appearing in her book, The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg, the word itself blended from "golly" + "polliwog". The golliwogg is basically a black face rag doll and less smelly version of a nigger with a face that was meticulously drawn by Akira Toriyama, featuring dark black skin, luscious red lips, round white eyes, jazzy afro hair and bow tie suit. As of 2018, having a golliwogg in the UK but also in Southern US can get you arrested and charged with a hate crime.

There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until a decade or two ago, it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is outrageous that "Golly" has been censored, and insist that there is nothing wrong with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.

Secondly, Britain's police forces are infamous for their racism and dislike of black person, and so they are always on the lookout for easily-solved "crimes" that have a whiff of racism. The police think it makes good PR to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.

Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly old-fashioned loudmouths who won't shut up about the good old days, and lazy cops who know how to score easy points by harassing them. Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.

Golliwogg martyrs

It is a fact of life that where there are black person, there will be crime. Naturally, this is also true of golliwogs.

Galleriwoggs



Gollivision


A 1983 ad for Britain's favorite marmalade, B& now of course.

Tie-in marmalade merchandising (highly-collectable and probably worth a fucking fortune now)

"Raise your voice and shout out 'Bring the Golliwogs Back!'"
(Full-length original here)

Classical music is racist too

See Also

File:Token black ("Golly").jpg

External links

Golliwog's Cakewalk ringtone

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
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