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Bayeux Tapestry: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Bayeuxllllc.jpg|thumb|55px|left]] | [[Image:Bayeuxllllc.jpg|thumb|55px|left]] | ||
[[Image:Midevil.jpg|thumb|From one-liners...]] | [[Image:Midevil.jpg|thumb|From one-liners...]] | ||
[[Image:Whathappened2jack.jpg|thumb|...to [[Jacknstock|hilarious narratives]]...]] | [[Image:Whathappened2jack.jpg|thumb|...to [[Jacknstock|hilarious narratives]]...]] | ||
[[Image:Ihathherduliekestmudkipz.jpg|thumb|...to declarations of [[Mudkips|liek]]...]] | [[Image:Ihathherduliekestmudkipz.jpg|thumb|...to declarations of [[Mudkips|liek]]...]] | ||
[[Image:Historicnathan.jpg|thumb|...to [[Nathanr|sordid tales]].]] | [[Image:Historicnathan.jpg|thumb|...to [[Nathanr|sordid tales]].]] | ||
[[Image:Doods.jpg|thumb|Thou hast been pwn-ed!]] | [[Image:Doods.jpg|thumb|Thou hast been pwn-ed!]] | ||
[[Image:Dtmb Medieval.jpg|thumb|[[Don't Taze Me Bro|...for non-lethal weapons.]]]] | [[Image:Dtmb Medieval.jpg|thumb|[[Don't Taze Me Bro|...for non-lethal weapons.]]]] | ||
[[Image:Bayeux911.jpg|thumb|...and [[9/11|NEVAR FORGETTING!]]]] | |||
[[Image:Dollartapes.jpg|thumb|[[I go chop your dollar|And epic tales of cunning bandits!]]]] | [[Image:Dollartapes.jpg|thumb|[[I go chop your dollar|And epic tales of cunning bandits!]]]] | ||
'''The Bayeux Tapestry''' is a very large piece of embroidered fabric, more than 70 meters [[Longcat|long]] and only half a meter wide (that's about 230 feet long and 20 inches wide, for the [[Americunts]] in the house). It was created in the late 11th century to document the leading tapestry [[memes]] of the time, most of which were remarkably similar to the internets memes of our modern day, as well as the events leading up to the invasion of [[England]] by William the [[Bastard|Conqueror]], Duke of [[France|Normandy]] in [[9/11|1066]]. | '''The Bayeux Tapestry''' is a very large piece of embroidered fabric, more than 70 meters [[Longcat|long]] and only half a meter wide (that's about 230 feet long and 20 inches wide, for the [[Americunts]] in the house). It was created in the late 11th century to document the leading tapestry [[memes]] of the time, most of which were remarkably similar to the internets memes of our modern day, as well as the events leading up to the invasion of [[England]] by William the [[Bastard|Conqueror]], Duke of [[France|Normandy]] in [[9/11|1066]]. | ||
== The Battle of Hastings == | |||
The Tapestry contains hundreds of images, divided into scenes, each describing a particular meme or historical event. The scenes are [[Series of tubes|joined into a linear sequence]], allowing the viewer to "read" the entire [[fan fiction|story]], starting with the first scene and progressing to the last. However, because at some point in the past thousand years it was cut up into numerous sections, no-one is really sure what the correct sequence actually was. In the final analysis, it doesn't really matter. We know that the English lost because most of the army was out [[buttsecks|mucking around]] in [[Scotland]] and [[FGSFDS|Wales]], and Harold of England's forces were mostly [[rednecks|local farmers]] he [[rape|forced into service]] for a six-week period before [[Goofy Time|harvest-time.]] | The Tapestry contains hundreds of images, divided into scenes, each describing a particular meme or historical event. The scenes are [[Series of tubes|joined into a linear sequence]], allowing the viewer to "read" the entire [[fan fiction|story]], starting with the first scene and progressing to the last. However, because at some point in the past thousand years it was cut up into numerous sections, no-one is really sure what the correct sequence actually was. In the final analysis, it doesn't really matter. We know that the English lost because most of the army was out [[buttsecks|mucking around]] in [[Scotland]] and [[FGSFDS|Wales]], and Harold of England's forces were mostly [[rednecks|local farmers]] he [[rape|forced into service]] for a six-week period before [[Goofy Time|harvest-time.]] | ||
== Fail becometh Win == | == Fail becometh Win == | ||
Thus, the scarecrow English team got their asses kicked by the feet and swords of the heavily armored knights of French Normandy - the Normans were Vikings from Norway, who had moved to France for the tax advantages - but surprisingly, they grew to be very happy about the aftermath of the invasion. For one thing, thousands of [[Yuppie|rich Frenchies]] swarmed over and built up a bunch of luxurious castles, cruised around the countryside in their shiny oxcarts on the weekends, [[beer|mead]]-tasting, and the local people realized that these rich assholes actually spent a lot of money on expensive shit, so there were lots of opportunities for commerce. Soon it became cool for the local people to mince around practicing their French, and the old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon grunting noises they used to have as language didn't sound so good anymore. Eventually, the French and Anglo-Saxon sort of blended, and eventually became [[Internets English|the language we all know and love]] today. | Thus, the scarecrow English team got their asses kicked by the feet and swords of the heavily armored knights of French Normandy - the Normans were Vikings from Norway, who had moved to France for the tax advantages - but surprisingly, they grew to be very happy about the aftermath of the invasion. For one thing, thousands of [[Yuppie|rich Frenchies]] swarmed over and built up a bunch of luxurious castles, cruised around the countryside in their shiny oxcarts on the weekends, [[beer|mead]]-tasting, and the local people realized that these rich assholes actually spent a lot of money on expensive shit, so there were lots of opportunities for commerce. Soon it became cool for the local people to mince around practicing their French, and the old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon grunting noises they used to have as language didn't sound so good anymore. Eventually, the French and Anglo-Saxon sort of blended, and eventually became [[Internets English|the language we all know and love]] today. | ||
== But the memes == | == But the memes == | ||
This is where a study of the memes becomes imperative, as their appearance on the [[Internet]] is not only instructive from the historical point of view, but also helps to illuminate the meaning of a whole range of memes. The past is mostly a bad memory, and the future is uncertain, but the memes of the Bayeux Tapestry provide for the internets a precise and ancient mirror of today. | This is where a study of the memes becomes imperative, as their appearance on the [[Internet]] is not only instructive from the historical point of view, but also helps to illuminate the meaning of a whole range of memes. The past is mostly a bad memory, and the future is uncertain, but the memes of the Bayeux Tapestry provide for the internets a precise and ancient mirror of today. | ||
== How to make == | == How to make == | ||
A Bayeux Tapestry for any drama or meme can be created with a '''Historic Tale Construction Kit''', a magical place that can be used to illustrate anything. | A Bayeux Tapestry for any drama or meme can be created with a '''Historic Tale Construction Kit''', a magical place that can be used to illustrate anything. | ||
===[[Skillz]] to write [[furries|tales]]=== | ===[[Skillz]] to write [[furries|tales]]=== | ||
*Use ye olde [[English]]. For example instead of "[[your mom|Yo mother]] is a [[whore|hoe]]," you could say "Thy mater maketh her [[money|wealth]] upon her back." | *Use ye olde [[English]]. For example instead of "[[your mom|Yo mother]] is a [[whore|hoe]]," you could say "Thy mater maketh her [[money|wealth]] upon her back." | ||
*Fit as many [[people]] into each frame as possible. | *Fit as many [[people]] into each frame as possible. | ||
Line 38: | Line 35: | ||
===Topics=== | ===Topics=== | ||
When [[Jacknstock|on the internet drama hath taken place and the affairs all a huggermugger]], generally the fray canst be summarized in a great tale. Tis shall serve two purposes: Firstly, it shall produce [[lulz|great mirth]] for the [[Special:Listusers|onlookers of the fray]]; secondly, the situation shall be told to the tardy masses. | When [[Jacknstock|on the internet drama hath taken place and the affairs all a huggermugger]], generally the fray canst be summarized in a great tale. Tis shall serve two purposes: Firstly, it shall produce [[lulz|great mirth]] for the [[Special:Listusers|onlookers of the fray]]; secondly, the situation shall be told to the tardy masses. | ||
Topics regarding the intrigues of the Court are can also serve for much [[lulz|amusement]], but thou wouldst do well to make use of ye olde English. For example, "lol, [[bush]] [[suck]]s" shall become "Thy king's engagement in [[Fetish|questionable activity]] doth stir in me great mirth." | Topics regarding the intrigues of the Court are can also serve for much [[lulz|amusement]], but thou wouldst do well to make use of ye olde English. For example, "lol, [[bush]] [[suck]]s" shall become "Thy king's engagement in [[Fetish|questionable activity]] doth stir in me great mirth." | ||
== | == Gallery == | ||
{{cg|Ye Olde Gallerie|bayeuxgallery|center|<gallery> | {{cg|Ye Olde Gallerie|bayeuxgallery|center|<gallery> | ||
File:12_years_olde.png | |||
File:Overnynethousands.jpg|[[Over 9000]] | |||
File:Shiningpidgey.jpg | |||
File:Belair bayeux.jpg|[[The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]] | |||
</gallery>|<gallery> | </gallery>|<gallery> | ||
File:HSM.jpg | |||
File:Chargethmahlaza.jpg|IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER | |||
File:Cockassgtfo.jpg | |||
File:Ahfuck.png | |||
File:Olden Days U Wot M8.jpg|[[U WOT M8|U wot, knave?]] | |||
File:Dollartapes.jpg | |||
File:Ittybittyballoon.jpg|Balloon Boy/Itty Bitty Baby | |||
File:Ctapest.jpg | |||
File:Tapestry.jpg | |||
File:Nod_tapestry.jpg | |||
File:Rejoiceaids.jpg | |||
File:Masterhands.PNG | |||
File:sparta.png | |||
File:Chawklet.JPG | |||
File:Bayeux_tapestry_baby.gif | |||
File:Rickroll_Tapestry_old_meme.png | |||
File:bayeux what is a man.png | |||
File:bayeux tapestry goofy time.gif | |||
File:Hitittapestry.jpg | |||
File:Enjoythouhat.GIF | |||
File:Resistance.GIF | |||
File:Bayeuxcatisfine.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxmudkipz.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxshotweb.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxchick.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxsupergirl.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxwrong2.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxhammertime.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxtrap.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxtits.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxfurries.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxtrap.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxtrap2.jpg | |||
File:Socashtapestry.PNG | |||
File:Bayeuxvtec.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxhistory.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxniggastole.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxfgsfds.jpeg | |||
File:Bayeuxspacestation.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxtrustvector.jpg | |||
File:Sjkasd.JPG | |||
File:Bayeuxshowcats.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxcamwhore.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxkillit.jpeg | |||
File:Bayeuxbroccolidog.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxwtc.jpg | |||
File:Bayeux07thJuly.jpg | |||
File:BayeuxORLYYARLY.jpeg | |||
File:Bayeuxrule34.jpg | |||
File:Bayeaufaggottree.jpg | |||
File:Noonelikesyou.jpg | |||
File:Buy a Dog Tapestry.PNG | |||
File:YMCATap.jpeg | |||
File:CannabisTap.jpeg | |||
File:A RAPE SPIDER.jpeg | |||
File:Beggars.JPG | |||
File:Bayeuxceiling.jpg | |||
File:Bayeux wrong location nigger.jpg | |||
File:Thoufailethit.jpg | |||
File:Pwny.jpg | |||
File:Bayeux zerg rush.jpg | |||
File:Covertom.jpg | |||
File:Whistled cab bayeux.JPG | |||
File:Omganhero.jpg | |||
File:Battletaddes.jpg | |||
File:Personal_army.jpg | |||
File:Shiny.jpg | |||
File:Thouhastwronglydoneit.png | |||
File:Hold_thy_tongue_judge.jpg | |||
File:Bayeux tapestry za warudo.jpg | |||
File:Bayeauxbarrelroll.JPG | |||
File:Bayeauxchrishansen.JPG | |||
File:Medievalzero.JPG | |||
File:Medievalproxies.jpg | |||
File:BAYEUXFISTON!.PNG | |||
File:bayeux_lion.jpg | |||
File:Hammer_of_ban.jpg | |||
File:Whereswaldoold.jpg | |||
File:Alle_thy_base.jpg|[[All your base|Alle thy base hath come into oure possession.]] | |||
File:In Thine Base.jpeg | |||
File:Nay Thou.JPG | |||
File:Longcatbeofgreatlength.jpg|[[longcat|Indeed]] | |||
File:Ted stevens bayeux.png | |||
File:TheWorldDothEndethWithThou.png | |||
File:Scilence-thy-self-titty-monster.jpg | |||
File:Thisbeashop.jpg|[[This Looks Shopped|I can tell from some of the stitching.]] | |||
File:BayeuxTapestrySpy.jpg | |||
File:Captureththyflag.jpg | |||
File:Bayeux2girls1cup.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxdoublenigger.jpg | |||
File:Idk bff jill.jpg|[[IDK, my BFF Jill?|The Companion I most Prefer.]] | |||
File:Lordes.jpg|[[Gentlemen]] | |||
File:Yonder spye.jpg | |||
File:Buzzkillingbayeux.jpg|[[Buzzkilling]] Tapestry | |||
File:Gametapestry.jpg|[[The Game|O shiiit]] | |||
File:Gaeme.gif|[[The Game|Oh, and...]] | |||
File:BayeuxRoll.gif | |||
File:F40PH tapestry.png|[[F40PH]] | |||
File:killitwithfire.jpg|[[KILL IT WITH FIRE]] | |||
File:Bayeux-starcraft.png|[[Additional Pylons]] | |||
File:Bayeux-userwasbanned.png|<font color=red><b>(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS TAPESTRY)</b></font> | |||
File:Bayeux-big-deal.jpg | |||
File:Tapestry goatse wrong.png | |||
File:Bayeux jenkins.jpg | |||
File:STFU_NOOB_Bayeux.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxpokemans.PNG|[[Pokémon|Pokemans]] | |||
File:Dysmotivators.JPG | |||
File:Madagascar_Bayeux.JPG | |||
File:Lake'th closed.jpg | |||
File:Drakeride.JPG | |||
File:Biscuit.JPG | |||
File:Ignoreth that.JPG | |||
File:Candeljankin.JPG | |||
File:Dare_thee.JPG | |||
File:Postal network.JPG | |||
File:Howdidst.JPG | |||
File:Arrivedeth.JPG | |||
File:Harlots possesseth no knowledge.JPG | |||
File:Pretty brave sire.JPG | |||
File:Victor.JPG | |||
File:Wryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.JPG | |||
File:Bayeux_maiden.JPG | |||
File:Bayeux immaletyoufinish.jpg | |||
File:Bayeuxpimpmyhorse.png | |||
File:Bayeuxitsatrap.png | |||
File:Bayeaux-911.jpg | |||
File:Verilyhoratio.jpg|[[CSI|Lord Horatio of Caine]] | |||
File:TapestryFriday.png|I see yon [[Rebecca Black|undecided wench]]! | File:TapestryFriday.png|I see yon [[Rebecca Black|undecided wench]]! | ||
</gallery>}} | File:Bayeaux ISee.jpg|[[I See What You Did There|I Hath Seen What Thou Hast Done There!]] | ||
File:Bayeaux Detain Negro.jpg | |||
File:Bayeaux In Thy Base.jpg|[[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|In Thy Base, Killing Thy Warriors!]] | |||
File:Bayeaux Milkshake.jpg | |||
File:Pomf2.png|[[Pomf =3]] | |||
File:Ihathcometh.png | |||
</gallery>}}<br> | |||
== See also == | |||
* [[Circumlolcution]] | |||
== External links == | |||
* [http://bayeux.datensalat.net/ Historic Tale Construction Kit] | |||
* [http://p210.ezboard.com/flakesideviewfrm8.showMessage?topicID=2553.topic All Your Base] | |||
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/normans/bayeux_tapestry_gallery.shtml Bayeux Tapestry] | |||
* [https://archive.org/details/bayeuxtapestry00fowk As a book] | |||
{{Britfags}} | |||
{{Language}} | {{Language}} | ||
{{ytmnd}} | {{ytmnd}} | ||
{{memes}} | {{memes}} | ||
{{lulzhistory}} | {{lulzhistory}} | ||
{{Timeline|Featured article September 8, [[2007]]|[[The Anti-ED Club]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Vanessa Hudgens]]}} | {{Timeline|Featured article September 8, [[2007]]|[[The Anti-ED Club]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Vanessa Hudgens]]}} | ||
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]] | [[Category:Internets Phenomena]] | ||
[[Category:Memes]] | [[Category:Memes]] | ||
[[Category:Chans]] | [[Category:Chans]] |
Latest revision as of 08:46, 22 May 2021
The Bayeux Tapestry is a very large piece of embroidered fabric, more than 70 meters long and only half a meter wide (that's about 230 feet long and 20 inches wide, for the Americunts in the house). It was created in the late 11th century to document the leading tapestry memes of the time, most of which were remarkably similar to the internets memes of our modern day, as well as the events leading up to the invasion of England by William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy in 1066.
The Battle of Hastings
The Tapestry contains hundreds of images, divided into scenes, each describing a particular meme or historical event. The scenes are joined into a linear sequence, allowing the viewer to "read" the entire story, starting with the first scene and progressing to the last. However, because at some point in the past thousand years it was cut up into numerous sections, no-one is really sure what the correct sequence actually was. In the final analysis, it doesn't really matter. We know that the English lost because most of the army was out mucking around in Scotland and Wales, and Harold of England's forces were mostly local farmers he forced into service for a six-week period before harvest-time.
Fail becometh Win
Thus, the scarecrow English team got their asses kicked by the feet and swords of the heavily armored knights of French Normandy - the Normans were Vikings from Norway, who had moved to France for the tax advantages - but surprisingly, they grew to be very happy about the aftermath of the invasion. For one thing, thousands of rich Frenchies swarmed over and built up a bunch of luxurious castles, cruised around the countryside in their shiny oxcarts on the weekends, mead-tasting, and the local people realized that these rich assholes actually spent a lot of money on expensive shit, so there were lots of opportunities for commerce. Soon it became cool for the local people to mince around practicing their French, and the old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon grunting noises they used to have as language didn't sound so good anymore. Eventually, the French and Anglo-Saxon sort of blended, and eventually became the language we all know and love today.
But the memes
This is where a study of the memes becomes imperative, as their appearance on the Internet is not only instructive from the historical point of view, but also helps to illuminate the meaning of a whole range of memes. The past is mostly a bad memory, and the future is uncertain, but the memes of the Bayeux Tapestry provide for the internets a precise and ancient mirror of today.
How to make
A Bayeux Tapestry for any drama or meme can be created with a Historic Tale Construction Kit, a magical place that can be used to illustrate anything.
Skillz to write tales
- Use ye olde English. For example instead of "Yo mother is a hoe," you could say "Thy mater maketh her wealth upon her back."
- Fit as many people into each frame as possible.
- Claim you drew the final image.
- Photoshop "Goatse and friends" into the image.
Topics
When on the internet drama hath taken place and the affairs all a huggermugger, generally the fray canst be summarized in a great tale. Tis shall serve two purposes: Firstly, it shall produce great mirth for the onlookers of the fray; secondly, the situation shall be told to the tardy masses.
Topics regarding the intrigues of the Court are can also serve for much amusement, but thou wouldst do well to make use of ye olde English. For example, "lol, bush sucks" shall become "Thy king's engagement in questionable activity doth stir in me great mirth."
Gallery
-
IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER
-
Balloon Boy/Itty Bitty Baby
-
Buzzkilling Tapestry
-
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS TAPESTRY)
-
I see yon undecided wench!
See also
External links
Bayeux Tapestry is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
Bayeux Tapestry is part of a series on YTMND [PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE] |
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Bayeux Tapestry is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article September 8, 2007 | ||
Preceded by The Anti-ED Club |
Bayeux Tapestry | Succeeded by Vanessa Hudgens |