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The Great Dumbledore Dies Meme of 2005
According to rumors, Albus Dumbledore, the "Head Master" of Hogwarts, may or may not have died in the 6th Harry Potter book. His killer may or may not have been Severus Snape. Were this the case, it would be accurate to say that Snape kills Dumbledore.
In a dramatic turn of events, Dumbledore came out of the closet after he died (srsly), and admitted that he likes it up the ass.
History
The book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince went on sale at midnight, July 16, 2005 in stores everywhere, much to the delight of 8-year-old girls, super-nerds, pedophiles and people who obviously have nothing better to do with their time than read children's crappy fantasy novels. However, like every fucking Harry Potter book before it, OVER 9,000 copies of it were accidentally before the set date. In a shocking and unpredictable turn of events, someone with one of those early copies scanned a page in the book that revealed the major plot point onto the Internets.
It spread like wildfire in minutes, and soon every other person online had trick-linked all their nerd friends, creating unbelievably high amounts of drama and lulz. This was intensified when J.K. Rowling swooped down on sites hosting the scanned pages with her team of Internet lawyers threatening to take legal action.
LiveJournal
The meme eventually donkeypunched Livejournal, with people creating troll accounts with names such as _dumbledoredies to serial add Harry Potter fans and spam Harry Potter communities with "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!" in Font size=5 and/or marquee...WITHOUT LJ-CUTS!
One of the best parts about all of this being LJ Abuse's refusal to do anything about it.
The drama is seriously A+++++ and is currently in the process of being archived offsite for safe keeping in the event that any of it is deleted.
Potter Crash Video
The ending was spoiled for a group of people waiting outside a Barnes & Noble. Some guy in his mom's mini-van proclaimed "SNAPE KILLS DUMBULDORE!!" and someone screamed "NOOOOOOO!!!11 YOU BITHC!!1 YUO BTICH!11"[1]
It would have been moar funny if someone became an hero on film.
The Hermione Theory
Contrary to popular belief, Hermione did NOT kill Dumbledore...this confusion spawned after she was a victim to Dumbledore's sharking.
Old meme
As of 04:18, 17 Jul 2005 (UTC), "Dumbledore dies" is an official old meme. Posting links to the YTMND sites below is currently considered unfunny, especially since by now virtually everybody who would've been pissed off at being spoiled has already read the book OVER 9,000 times.
However, there are still many slow readers who have yet to finish or even begin the book. In these cases, using this meme is acceptable. Here's a nice way to slip under their guard:
- Prima: "Hey everyone! Why did the chicken cross the road?" (Any joke set-up will do)
- Secunda: "I dunno, why?"
- Prima: "Because SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE OMG PAGE606PWND!"
Snape killed...
Despite being old meme, The Great Dumbledore Dies Meme of 2005 spawned other mini memes, like the Snape killed… meme, an offshoot catchphrase. However, it is only used by the most fucktarded LJ users.
Examples
- Snape killed...the radio star!
- Snape killed...your mom!
- Snape killed...Edward Cullen! (if only)
- Snape killed...Padmé!
- Snape killed...my father...PREPARE TO DIE!
- Snape killed...Jeebus Cripes
Hate Crime
Due to a decrease in the output of fan fiction since the release of Deathly Hallows, Rowling announced to the public that Albus Dumbledore was gay, and fancied having taken it up the ass from Grindelwald in his younger years. This resulted in the charges against Severus Snape being upgraded to a hate crime; however, the charges were immediately dropped when it was pointed out that fags are supposed to get thrown off of tall structures, as determined by the Wizengamot in the late 16th century. By way of an apology, Snape was allowed to carry out sentence by Avara Kedavaraing Dumbledore's slack ass off the Hogwarts battlements.
External links
- YTMND sites: (NOTICE: These
are no longerwere never funny.)
- Misc.:
- DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!
- All of those YTMNDs are going to get pwned by Rowling.
- Harry Potter fans comment that scanned image can't be real because the writing is shitty, choppy and various other things. Image later proven to be real. LMAO
- FYAD thread about crazy fans (registration at Something Awful required) (view first page as image via ImageSocket - first post looks funny because Kendra sucks at coding)
- "Dumbledore dies meme" LJ journals:
_dumbledoredies - winner- snapkilzdmbledr
- harrypooter
- omgkillersnape
- snapekillsdumbl
- roffle_waffles
- schnitdick
- mrs_yates - troll journal x2
- dumbledoredies
- railway's insane childfree rant in cf_hardcore & the LJ Drama write-up
- Non-troll LJ journals, but participated in promotion of meme:
- thefluffer - is a furry, thought that was worth pointing out.
- imfromcanadaeh
- longroadhome
- swirlofgirl
- smai
See Also
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The Great Dumbledore Dies Meme of 2005 is part of a series on YTMND [PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE] |
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The Great Dumbledore Dies Meme of 2005 is part of a series on the Gay Nigger Association of America. |
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