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Oprah Winfrey: Difference between revisions
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[[ | [[File:The oprah diet.gif|thumb|right|How to keep Winfrey quiet]] | ||
''' | '''Oprah''' is the primary deity of American culture. She has been an [[bitch|American housewives']] [[condescension|best friend]] for over 20 years. She is [[autistic|smart]], [[fugly|beautiful]], and [[not really|easy to relate to]], as well as one of the biggest [[troll bait|drama driven]] [[USI|megalomaniacs]] to ever fag up the [[Shit TV show|small screen]]. It was rumored that Winfrey would run against [[The Donald]] in the [[2020]] USA Presidential Elections ([http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oprah-2020 sauce here]) but, unfortunately for the lulzaholics of the world, she didn't. | ||
==[[Shit no one cares about|IRL]]== | ==[[Shit no one cares about|IRL]]== | ||
[[File:Tom Cruise versus Oprah.gif|thumb|A [[typical]] episode of Oprah.]] | [[File:Tom Cruise versus Oprah.gif|thumb|A [[typical]] episode of Oprah.]] | ||
[[Image:TOWS.jpg|right|thumb|right|A description of the Oprah Winfrey Show]] | [[Image:TOWS.jpg|right|thumb|155px|right|A description of the Oprah Winfrey Show]] | ||
Oprah was born in Kosciusko, [[Mississippi]] to a [[fundies|religious family]]. Oprah’s mother and father were two unmarried [[teenagers]] and her grandma [[lulz|beat her]] when she didn’t finish her chores. Oprah always claimed that she was [[asking for it|molested]] by a cousin, uncle, and a family friend, and she got knocked up at the age of [[13 year old girl|14]]. She won a [[Affirmative action|full scholarship]] to a great [[nigra]] college and even won the Miss Black Tennessee [[Attention whore|Beauty Pageant]]. She now has a Failspace, lulz shall ensue. | Oprah was born in Kosciusko, [[Mississippi]] in 1954 to a [[fundies|religious family]]. Oprah’s mother and father were two unmarried [[teenagers]] and her grandma [[lulz|beat her]] when she didn’t finish her chores. Oprah always claimed that she was [[asking for it|molested]] by a cousin, uncle, and a family friend, and she got knocked up at the age of [[13 year old girl|14]]. She won a [[Affirmative action|full scholarship]] to a great [[nigra]] college and even won the Miss Black Tennessee [[Attention whore|Beauty Pageant]]. She now has a Failspace, lulz shall ensue. | ||
What does Oprah's [[Jew gold|success mean?]] It means that black people around the world are [[I CAME|overjoyed]] while <s>[[white people|white women]]</s> [[women]] still sit on their ass and [[BAWWWW|cry]] over Oprah’s [[anal rape|incident of being raped as a kid]]. As the "[[USI|Queen of All Media]]" Oprah is also the living proof that if you're the village [[incest]]-bicycle and get [[raped|diddled]] by enough people at a young enough age [[you]] too can be [[unrealistic expectations|famous]]. Despite her success, she will always be a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_Ir1f4HHkE negro woman from the South] who is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lO7LEzE8lE&feature=response_watch cheesing it up for the camera]. | What does Oprah's [[Jew gold|success mean?]] It means that black people around the world are [[I CAME|overjoyed]] while <s>[[white people|white women]]</s> [[women]] still sit on their ass and [[BAWWWW|cry]] over Oprah’s [[anal rape|incident of being raped as a kid]]. As the "[[USI|Queen of All Media]]" Oprah is also the living proof that if you're the village [[incest]]-bicycle and get [[raped|diddled]] by enough people at a young enough age [[you]] too can be [[unrealistic expectations|famous]]. Despite her success, she will always be a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_Ir1f4HHkE negro woman from the South] who is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lO7LEzE8lE&feature=response_watch cheesing it up for the camera]. | ||
For those too young to remember, Oprah spent years as the largest | For those too young to remember, Oprah spent years as the largest Snorlax ever seen on national television. She leveraged her reducing plan into [[profit]] as her loyal viewership looked on from the safety of their daytime television sofas . Perhaps not surprisingly, she blamed [[Chikins|fast food]], the only controversial position she has ever taken and one that brought on a lawsuit for defamation by the [[meatspin|Association of American Beef Producers]] which she won. In a fitting ironic twist of fate, Oprah has now been selected by /b/ as the latest and greatest [[lol-cow]]. | ||
Incidentally, Oprah does not plan on continuing her show after [[2012|2011]]. And [[nothing of value]] will be lost. | Incidentally, Oprah does not plan on continuing her show after [[2012|2011]]. And [[nothing of value]] will be lost. | ||
Note: She has yet to comment on accusations that she decided to quit her show due to the epic trolling she has received. Everybody knows you can't do it right after the trolling otherwise you'd make it too obvious, so she waited a few years. Thus, Anonymous has toppled the Oprah empire. Way to go Internet | Note: She has yet to comment on accusations that she decided to quit her show due to the epic trolling she has received. Everybody knows you can't do it right after the trolling otherwise you'd make it too obvious, so she waited a few years. Thus, Anonymous has toppled the Oprah empire. Way to go Internet!! | ||
==Over 9000 Penises== | ==Over 9000 Penises== | ||
{{cg|Gallery| | <br> | ||
{{cg|Gallery|Over9000penises|center|<gallery perrow=4> | |||
Image:Oprah9000animated.gif|[[DICKS EVERYWHERE]] | Image:Oprah9000animated.gif|[[DICKS EVERYWHERE]] | ||
Image:Over 9000 penises.png| | Image:Over 9000 penises.png| | ||
Image:Oprah advice dog.png|[[advice dog|Wise words]] | Image:Oprah advice dog.png|[[advice dog|Wise words]] | ||
Image:OVER_9000_PENISES.jpg| | Image:OVER_9000_PENISES.jpg| | ||
</gallery>|<gallery> | </gallery>|<gallery perrow=4> | ||
Image:OVAR 9000 PENISES.PNG|[[X? In My Y?|It's more likely than you think.]] | Image:OVAR 9000 PENISES.PNG|[[X? In My Y?|It's more likely than you think.]] | ||
Image:OprahOver9000_1.jpg|[[Over_9000|Over 9000]] penises is a lot of penises. | Image:OprahOver9000_1.jpg|[[Over_9000|Over 9000]] penises is a lot of penises. | ||
Image:OprahTits.jpg|[[Rule 34]] at it's worst.]] | Image:OprahTits.jpg|[[Rule 34]] at it's worst.]] | ||
Image:fighttheoprah.jpg | Image:fighttheoprah.jpg | ||
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</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
}} | }} | ||
<br> | |||
On September 19, 2008, Oprah delivered [[epic lulz]] when, during a plea to viewers to support an anti-[[CP]] bill she happened to be supporting (Note: She is against having sexual intercourse with children but she [http://www.plasmetic.com/skin/skin-care-cosmetics/foreskin-face-cream-from-skinmedica-promoted-by-oprah-winfrey.html supports rubbing amputated baby penis all over her face to get rid of wrinkles] which seems to suggest she finds it ok to cause pain to baby genitals but not to give them pleasure.), she quoted the following from her website's forums: | On September 19, 2008, Oprah delivered [[epic lulz]] when, during a plea to viewers to support an anti-[[CP]] bill she happened to be supporting (Note: She is against having sexual intercourse with children but she [http://www.plasmetic.com/skin/skin-care-cosmetics/foreskin-face-cream-from-skinmedica-promoted-by-oprah-winfrey.html supports rubbing amputated baby penis all over her face to get rid of wrinkles] which seems to suggest she finds it ok to cause pain to baby genitals but not to give them pleasure.), she quoted the following from her website's forums: | ||
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|{{frame|{{Videoframe|9k|background-color:#FF8833|font-weight:bold; | |{{frame|{{Videoframe|9k|background-color:#FF8833|font-weight:bold; | ||
| | |<youtube>XwU2vPeRTOQ</youtube><br> | ||
|<youtube>hGSUrwgSwUs</youtube><br> | |||
|<youtube>YInQJxxt9qE</youtube> | |||
| | ;[[G4]] Attack of the show Highlights and Features | ||
;[[G4]] Attack of the show Highlights and Features | |<youtube>LP1oWy-iK1M</youtube> | ||
;I has over 9000 children, and they're all raping penises. | |||
| | |||
;I has over 9000 children, and they're all raping penises. | |||
}}|border=#000000|background=#FF8833}} | }}|border=#000000|background=#FF8833}} | ||
|} | |} | ||
<!-- | |||
|[[File:9000_PENISES_-_CP_RAID.ogv]] | |||
--> | |||
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Image:Oprah's_furry_friend.PNG|Oprah loves the furries. | Image:Oprah's_furry_friend.PNG|Oprah loves the furries. | ||
Image:Skype oprah.jpg|common ground | Image:Skype oprah.jpg|common ground | ||
File:Oprah Deyock.jpg | |||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
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==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
[[Image:Oprahfugs.jpg|thumb|[[fugly|THAT'S HAWT!!!]]]] | [[Image:Oprahfugs.jpg|thumb|[[fugly|THAT'S HAWT!!!]]]] | ||
[[Image:Spincock.gif|30px]]{{ | [[Image:Spincock.gif|link=|30px]]{{yt|cu|OPRAH|Oprah on the tubes}} | ||
[[Image:Spincock.gif|30px]][http://www.oprah.com Oprah.com] | [[Image:Spincock.gif|link=|30px]][http://www.oprah.com Oprah.com] | ||
[[Image:Spincock.gif|30px]][http://www.over9000penises.com Over9000Penises] | [[Image:Spincock.gif|link=|30px]][http://www.over9000penises.com Over9000Penises] | ||
[[Image:Spincock.gif|30px]][http://www.thesmokinggun.com/ | [[Image:Spincock.gif|link=|30px]][http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/million-little-lies A Million Little Pieces Scandal] (Moar liek Over 9000 Little Penises Scandal amirite?) | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Line 115: | Line 107: | ||
*[[Placentafag|Tom Cruise]] | *[[Placentafag|Tom Cruise]] | ||
*[[Your Mom]] | *[[Your Mom]] | ||
*[[Prostitute]] | |||
*[[Freemason]] | |||
*[[Illuminati]] | |||
*[[Rekt]] | |||
*[[Barack Obama]] | *[[Barack Obama]] | ||
*[[Operation SyPhyllis]] | *[[Operation SyPhyllis]] | ||
*[[Zach Anner]] | *[[Zach Anner]] | ||
*[[Dicks Everywhere]] | |||
{{Afro}} | {{Afro}} | ||
{{Mediawhores}} | |||
{{Television}} | {{Television}} | ||
{{Timeline|Featured article September 20, [[2008]]|[[I go chop your dollar]]|[[Oprah Winfrey]]|[[SnowVhite]]}} | {{Timeline|Featured article September 20, [[2008]]|[[I go chop your dollar]]|[[Oprah Winfrey]]|[[SnowVhite]]}} |
Latest revision as of 09:29, 13 January 2023
This article needs moar penises. You can help by adding moar penises. |
Oprah is the primary deity of American culture. She has been an American housewives' best friend for over 20 years. She is smart, beautiful, and easy to relate to, as well as one of the biggest drama driven megalomaniacs to ever fag up the small screen. It was rumored that Winfrey would run against The Donald in the 2020 USA Presidential Elections (sauce here) but, unfortunately for the lulzaholics of the world, she didn't.
IRL
Oprah was born in Kosciusko, Mississippi in 1954 to a religious family. Oprah’s mother and father were two unmarried teenagers and her grandma beat her when she didn’t finish her chores. Oprah always claimed that she was molested by a cousin, uncle, and a family friend, and she got knocked up at the age of 14. She won a full scholarship to a great nigra college and even won the Miss Black Tennessee Beauty Pageant. She now has a Failspace, lulz shall ensue.
What does Oprah's success mean? It means that black people around the world are overjoyed while white women women still sit on their ass and cry over Oprah’s incident of being raped as a kid. As the "Queen of All Media" Oprah is also the living proof that if you're the village incest-bicycle and get diddled by enough people at a young enough age you too can be famous. Despite her success, she will always be a negro woman from the South who is cheesing it up for the camera.
For those too young to remember, Oprah spent years as the largest Snorlax ever seen on national television. She leveraged her reducing plan into profit as her loyal viewership looked on from the safety of their daytime television sofas . Perhaps not surprisingly, she blamed fast food, the only controversial position she has ever taken and one that brought on a lawsuit for defamation by the Association of American Beef Producers which she won. In a fitting ironic twist of fate, Oprah has now been selected by /b/ as the latest and greatest lol-cow.
Incidentally, Oprah does not plan on continuing her show after 2011. And nothing of value will be lost. Note: She has yet to comment on accusations that she decided to quit her show due to the epic trolling she has received. Everybody knows you can't do it right after the trolling otherwise you'd make it too obvious, so she waited a few years. Thus, Anonymous has toppled the Oprah empire. Way to go Internet!!
Over 9000 Penises
-
Over 9000 penises is a lot of penises.
-
Rule 34 at it's worst.]]
-
OPRAH NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!!11!
-
Obvious troll is obvious... Unless he is on Oprah.
-
And that's terrible.
-
And they're raping the children.
On September 19, 2008, Oprah delivered epic lulz when, during a plea to viewers to support an anti-CP bill she happened to be supporting (Note: She is against having sexual intercourse with children but she supports rubbing amputated baby penis all over her face to get rid of wrinkles which seems to suggest she finds it ok to cause pain to baby genitals but not to give them pleasure.), she quoted the following from her website's forums:
THE VIDEO:
NOW HOLD THE FUCK ON A SEC, SHIT'S SIGNIFICANT
People need to understand the significance of the whole Nine Thousand Penises incident. For a long while, people have known that Oprah's full of shit, or at least, doesn't check her fucking facts or research beyond reading a summarising quote, LIKE THE ONE ABOVE. However, the fact that someone was able to troll her into thinking that there was a group of online pedos with such minimal effort IS CONCLUSIVE PROOF, ONCE AND FOR ALL, that she is full of shit, and NEVER checks her facts.
Unfortunately, she still is able to peddle her shit so much in America because Americunts are all incredibly spastically retarded.
Oh, and there was some shit about a Million Little Pieces or something, see below
Over 9000 Remixes:
|
As word filtered through the intertubes, Oprah's forum became a source of lulz on September 20 as assorted anonymous posters spammed swastikas, NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER and /r/'d cp, shared tips on how best to lure child victims, etc.
Gallery
-
The original lulz post that sparked it all.
-
SPAM
-
Forum Down. They're performing an upgrade. Totally.
-
Rules 1 and 2 Broken.
-
Oprah loves the furries.
-
common ground
External Links
A Million Little Pieces Scandal (Moar liek Over 9000 Little Penises Scandal amirite?)
See Also
- Feminist
- Kitchen
- Steve Wilkos
- Tom Cruise
- Your Mom
- Prostitute
- Freemason
- Illuminati
- Rekt
- Barack Obama
- Operation SyPhyllis
- Zach Anner
- Dicks Everywhere
Oprah Winfrey is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article September 20, 2008 | ||
Preceded by I go chop your dollar |
Oprah Winfrey | Succeeded by SnowVhite |