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{{spoiler|SOMEONE THREW A SHOE AT HILLARY CLINTON! BAN TACTICAL ASSAULT SHOES}}
[[File:Hillary clinton rides again, campaign 2020.jpg|right|300px|thumb|You can't keep a good woman down. Or Hillary.]]
[[File:Worlds Biggest Fucking Loser.jpg|thumb|right]]
'''Hillary Rodham Clinton''' (born '''Hillary Diane Rodham''' October 26, 1947: Age {{age|1947|10|26}}) known in the [[The South|Banjo-Belt]] as "Hilldawg", is former President [[Bill Clinton|"Rapin'" Bill Clinton]]'s dominatrix since [[before the internets|1975]], outgoing President [[Barack Obama]]'s [[whore|bottom bitch]], shiksa shabbos goy to [[George Soros]]{{jew}}, a lampshade-looking kike, and a [[circumcision]] promoter.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bnVNd4G9Ks Secretary Clinton Delivers Remarks at the 2012 International AIDS Conference] (filmed on July 23rd, 2012) (warning: circumphile propaganda)</ref>


[[Image:Hitlary.jpg|thumb|right|Heil Führerin Hitlary!]]
Much like the Devil, Hillary goes by many names. Crooked Hillary. Rotten Hillary. Sick Hillary. Shillary. Hitlery. '''Killary Rotten Clittin'''. With a middle name that cannot possibly be any more sexually suggestive, she ran for the first woman president of the [[United States]], but [[Epic fail|lost]] to the God emperor of mankind, [[Donald J. Trump]]. Hillary cried a lot when she got pwned by Donald in 2016, she also cried after being pwned by [[Barack Obama]] in 2008. In full defiance of [[Rtfm|Section 1 of the Twenty-second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution]], she [[2016 Presidential Election|tried running again]] for [[Nigger|Obama]]'s third term in office. [[Lol|De-fucking-stroyed...twice]].
[[File:HillaryAndTheConfederacy.gif|thumb|right|Hillary And Dylann Roof, 2016]]
[[Image:Hillary_cunt.jpg|thumb|right|Painfully obvious.]]
[[File:Celebrity threesome.jpg|thumb|Halcyon days.]]
'''(AKA in the Banjo-Belt as "Hilldawg")''' Former President [[Bill Clinton]]'s dominatrix since [[before the internets|1979]] and current President [[Barack Obama]]'s [[whore|bottom bitch]]. '''Harridan Rodham Clinton(aka Clitor, aka Hitlary)''', with a middle name that cannot possibly be any more sexually suggestive, <s>has already proclaimed herself the first female president of the [[United States]]</s> cried a lot and got pwned by a black person.


{{quote|If I had a son, his name would be Dylann Storm Roof! | Hillery Clinton}}
Hillary's influences include Margaret Sanger, a [[Eugenics|eugenicist]] behind [[abortion|Planned Parenthood]] who gave speeches to the Ku Klux Klan and who referred to [[black people]] as "weeds", and [[Angela Merkel]], an old crone whose open borders policy is responsible for thousands of sexual assaults on women in [[Germany]] by [[rapefugee]]s, made possible by Secretary of State Clinton's decisions on [[Syria]] and [[Libya]] leading to the [[European Rapefugee Crisis]]. But Hillary is totally for black people and women u guise! Just think of how much Hillary has done for her hometown of [[Chicago]]. The [[baseball|Cubs]] won.
{{quote|Find me a man who can look you straight in the eyes and say, "I believe Hillary Rodham Clinton should become President of the [[United States]] of America," and I'll show you a man I'd smack and call a pussy.| Bill Clinton}}


== Notable feats ==
Whatever [[shitlord]] [[You|losers]] made this are each a [[virgin]] [[basement dweller]] with a tiny [[penis]] who will never satisfy a woman. You will never be half the <s>man</s> rapist [[Bill Clinton]] is, or even half the <s>woman</s> criminal Hillary is! Any attack on Hillary is a pathetic [[misogyny|misogynistic]] attack on every woman! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Hillary can [[alcohol|drink]] all you lightweight [[pussy|pussies]] under the table! Cry more. I drink [[male tears]].
*She was the first to swim from China to Alaska (dared in a game of truth or dare w/ Sarah Palin)
 
*Holds world record for abortions in a day (9001)
After Hillary's loss to [[The Donald]] despite over 2 million more illegal immigrants voting for her, she went into hiding in a [[spider]] hole, much like [[Saddam Hussein]]. She was also surprised in the woods by a former staffer while her dogs were helping her find Vince Foster's shallow grave so she could relocate the body.
*Stopped the entire rights for the butterflies march in 1969.
== Some Unknown Facts About Hillary Clinton ==
[[Image:HillaryJoker.JPEG|thumb|right|Hillary's first stint on [[Batman]] didn't go over well. She retained some characteristics of her role.]]
[[Image:Hillary2face.jpg‎|thumb|right|Hillary in her new role as "Two-Face" in ''The Dark Knight''.]]
[[Image:Talibani hillary.jpg|thumb|right|[[Wikipedia:Shirin Ebadi|Talibani Clinton]].]]
[[Image:MiniHillary.jpg|thumb|right|The Nigra done miniaturize her with a VooDoo ray.]]
[[Image:Hillary-clinton-devil.jpg|thumb|right|What Hillary does to Bill in her spare time.]]
*She's the first female to face off against a [[nigra|black man]] and not get raped.
*Electing Hillary Clinton as president will cause [[apocalypse|prosperity across the land]].
*[[Time Cube|Hillary Clinton has four penises. All of which are attached to her head.]]
*Her hair was made from Clay Aiken's pubes.
*After she was neutered, she replaced her nuts with huge rubber [[neuticles]]. These can be seen swinging side-to-side under her business skirt as she delivers speeches up on a podium with her legs spread wide apart (reminiscent of [[Larry Craig]]).
*Her voice is known to feed on your soul.  So, protect your children.
*Her shit does, in fact, stink.
*A [[fisting|strong sexual relationship]] exists between her and Rosie O'Donnell.
*[[shit nobody cares about|Hillary once gave Al Gore a blowjob, not because she is straight, but because he said it would help solve global warming. (Sadly this did not help solve global warming.)]]
*According to an actual quote from Bill Clinton, "She's eaten more pussy than I have."
*Hillary Clinton likes to pretend she is really from the south. When in the south, that is.
*Hillary is a strong supporter of (female) [[butthurt]].
*Her face turns into a ghoulish prune when the [http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/01/03/sot.hillary.iowa.results.cnn?iref=videosearch bitch loses]
*She is by no definition a [[MILF]].
*She is the only First Lady to make Barbara Bush, Lady Byrd Johnson, and Pat Nixon look good by comparison.
*Hillary is actually more of a man than Eleanor Roosevelt.
*She owns a [[dildo]] shaped like JFK.
*Hillary has disgustingly huge hips and is balding[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Hillary_Clinton_first_lady_portraitHRC.jpg] (<i>Update: This picture has been [[Wikipedia_Jews|censored]])</i>.  This makes her supa sexy to [[liberals]], because it reminds them of [[your mom|their moms]].
*Her wedding ring is made of [[fail|fake gold]].
*Hillary's favorite films include ''Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'' (1968) and ''Fatal Attraction'' (1987).
*She was once engaged to Larry King.
*Hillary is a fan of Lorena Bobbit.
*She loves to watch "The L Word" and wear plaid shirts when she's not addressing the public.
*When she told Bill about her desire to become President, he promptly replied: "[[Tits or GTFO]]!"
*Was a hermaphrodite until she had plastic surgery in August 1987. She kept her penis at husband Bill's request. Apparently he prefers "catching" to "pitching."
*Hillary is actually Zombie Hubert Humphrey, risen from the dead to guarantee that the Democrats lose to [[John McCain|Zombie Richard Nixon]]. She will win the nomination by eating the brains of superdelegates at the convention in Denver on August 25. This will cause Obama's fanatical supporters to riot, just like DNC '68, leading to [[lulz|epic lulz]].
*The [[semen|stains]] on the infamous "[[Monica Lewinsky]]" dress were not presidential baby batter, but were splattered onto the dress by Hillary after pulling out of Bill's ass [[shemale|his/herself]]. When cornered with her secret coming out to [[Fox News|the press]], she made a deal with a [[David Icke|fat-reptile-in-human-skin]] Jewess to [[Jews did 9/11|cover it up]].
*was turned down for the job of playboy playmate due to her age and shape of her tits so took the job of secretary of state instead


==Hillary Clinton on the Issues==
<center>
* American principles: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M [[United States of Americunts|WHITE]]'''
{{morphquote|hcquotes|background:none; width:50%|font-weight:bold
* Civil rights: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE, I'LL KEEP [[Barack Obama|SCARY NIGRAS]] OUT OF OFFICE'''
|Hillary Clinton literally lost the "lower class" vote to a man who lives in a golden skyscraper bearing his name.
* Disabilities: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
|[[User:TylerRosenow|an EDiot]]
* Economy: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Education: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Energy & Environment: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Ethics: '''I'M A WOMAN[[oneone|!!!!11oneone]]'''
* Family: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Fiscal: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Foreign Policy: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Gun Control: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Health care: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Homeland Security: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Immigration: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Iraq: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Political Experience : '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Poverty: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Prostitution: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Rural: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Service: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Seniors & Social Security: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Technology: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Use of the '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Veterans: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''


== Hillary Clinton Doesn't Want You to Have Fun ==
|If I had a son, his name would be [[Dylann Storm Roof]]!
[[Image:HillaryGoatse.jpg|thumb|right]]
|Hillary Clinton
It is a well known [[fact]] that Hillary Clinton strongly dislikes the [[Video games|vidya gaemz]].  She is completely opposed to any game with awesome [[violence]] in it, such as the [[Grand Theft Auto]] series, Manhunt, or Super Mario Sunshine because she is a [[Elgorgo|muddy reeking shitwitched haggy old BITCH]]!!!!11!1[[oneoneone]]  This has [[Lie|nothing to do]] with the fact that [[Butthurt|you can put women in their place on Grand Theft Auto.]]


She is also worried about video games in general, and gave $90 million of our fucking money to some douchebag researchers so they would tell her that games create [[Pedobear|sexual predators]]. This is ridiculous, of course, since [[Bill Clinton|her husband]] has never played a video game.
|“When are they going to get those fucking ree-tards out of here?!”
|Hillary Clinton 1984 at Arkansas Governor's Mansion


== Hillary Clinton Doesn't Want Bill to Have Fun Either ==
|Find me a man who can look you straight in the eyes and say, "I believe Hillary Rodham Clinton should become President of the [[United States]] of America," and I'll show you a man I'd smack and call a pussy.
Back in [[At least 100 years ago|1998]], when Bill was accused of putting his [[cock]] into the mouths of various women, she called the accusations a "vast, right-wing conspiracy" and more than likely would have invoked [[Godwin's Law]] had the interview gone on for much longer. Afterwords, she looked very foolish when it was concluded that Bill had gotten sucked off by the half-his-age, ambitious, and [[fat]] [[Monica Lewinsky]]. This was severely damaging to Hillary's presidential campaign plans, which at that point had already been [[At least 100 years|100 years]] in the making.  Hillary was so furious for his debunking of her conspiracy theory that she used a variety of [[BSDM|weapons]] to rip him a brand new asshole, resulting in [[lulz]] for [[Republican]]s, [[Nigras]], [[Jews]], and schoolyard children for months.
|Bill Clinton


== Presidential Dreams ==
|Hillary Clinton should be put in the firing line and shot for treason.
[[Image:Hillary_is_winning.JPG|thumb|right|She's still going strong!]]
|[[The Donald|Trump]] Supporter
Hillary wants to be president of America. This is extremely lulzy, because everyone knows that a [[woman]] can't do anything besides cook, clean, and take cock. And Hillary doesn't do any of those things.


God (who is a man, of course) chose men to lead countries.  If Hillary became President, America as we know it would become (even more of a) giant, swirling, fagfarm.  This would turn the [[HIV]] that is the United States of America into full-blown [[AIDS]]. Although at this point in this country's shitty existence, can it really get any worse?
|She went to the [[fap|Yankees]] so that she could run for senator from New York. It's so obvious. Why is she — doesn't she know she looks like a fraud?
|Chris Matthews on Hardball on [[MSNBC]] in 2007, on flip-flopper Hillary}}
</center>


==Hillary's CamPAIN Platform==
==Early life==
[[Image:Billary.jpg|thumb|right|Why Bill and Hillary stopped having children]]
[[Image:Hillshit0014.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Anonymiss.jpg|thumb|What Hillary will do to [[Anonymous]] and the internets if elected president]]
[[Image:Hillary-loser.png|thumb|right|300px|[[Just Fuck My Shit Up|Madame JUST]]]]
If <s>elected</s> the coup succeeds, Hillary plans to impose the following changes to America:
'''Fun Fact''': If Hillary had been born with a [[penis|peepee]], she would have been drafted into the [[Vietnam War]] as a meatshield, since she was born between 1944 and 1950, and October 26 was a winning birthday in the lottery. Fucking male [[privilege]], winning lotteries and shit. Boys always get to do [[Media:Mark_Whalberg_cleaning_up_Vietnam.gif|the fun stuff]]. Although [[some argue]] she would have just weaseled out of the draft like [[Bill Clinton]], who "joined" the ROTC at the University of Arkanas after meeting with Colonel Eugene J. Holmes at his home in 1969, then promptly GTFO to [[England]], after Holmes was contacted by a guy Bubba interned for, Arkansas Senator and segregationist and friend of the KKK James William Fulbright. Fulbright was also against Brown v. Board of Education in 1954 (which ended segration in public schools) and also filibustered the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (which outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin). In May 1993, President Bill Clinton gave Fulbright the [[Srsly|Presidential Medal of Freedom]].


* Menopause is a [[Women's suffrage|woman's right]], and any man who refuses to adapt, accept, and embrace it will be put to death. Actually, all men will just be put to death anyway.
[[No|Thank God]] that neither Fortunate Son Bill nor Fortunate Daughter Hillary died in [[Vietnam]], and could bless America with their years of service. And thank God that a woman who never faced the draft and [[hippies|protested the Vietnam War]] but voted for the [[Iraq|Iraq War]] could one day be Commander-In-Chief and lead the [[Call of Duty|US military]] and send them off to war. God Bless America!
* Land and banking fraud will be illegal. For everyone else. Hillary still gets to make 1000 to 1 profits on "lucky" commodity trades.
* Lesbian sex techniques will be taught in schools, starting with 2nd grade. 1st grade will be used to teach boys and girls that men are evil and need to be dominated.
* Strip clubs will be closed, save for those that cater to women and feature [[fag|male strippers]].
* All short, brunette, chunky, Jew women will be put to death. Especially if they wear blue dresses and enjoy giving head.
* All Presidential Cabinet members will be women who are going through menopause.
* All women in the workforce will receive paid vacations whenever their periods are in full rage.
* Research into developing and perfecting techniques to <s>allow</s> force men to carry fetuses to full term will be put into place, with funding levels akin to ten times that required to beat the Russians to the Moon in the 60's, adjusted for inflation.
* Arkansas will cease to exist as a state, by any means necessary, including nuclear.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger will be deported back to [[Nazi|Austria]] before he can launch a coup of his own.
*  All Hitlery supporters will be paid 50% of what was originally offered for the votes Ms. Clinton has bought from them.
* [[Iraq]] will be sold back to [[Iran]] for oil, which Iran doesn't have much of in the first place.
*Moar girls will be on the internet, which is a plus, but a minus is that they'll all be [[lesbian|dykes]].


== What To Do If You Meet Hillary ==
[[Bill Clinton]]'s [[polygamy|bigamist]] daddy William Jefferson Blythe Jr. [[Fact|died]] 3 months before he was born. At age 15, Billy Blythe the 3rd formally took the last name of his [[Fact|violent abusive alcoholic gambler stepdad, Roger Clinton Sr]]. Appropriately, Hillary gets her last name from a violent alcoholic. If not for that, Hillary Clinton would be known as Hillary Rodham Blythe, or Hillary Blythe, or First Lady Blythe, or Senator Blythe, or Secretary of State Blythe, <s>or President Blythe</s>. Blythe means "joyous, kind, cheerful, pleasant." Wouldn't you be too, if you were too big to [[jail]]?
[[Image:HilaryApproved.jpg|thumb|Hillary Clinton approves of this article]]
*Slap her in the face multiple times.  Then do it again just to make sure she gets the point.
*Keep your eyes tightly shut, lest you pass out from the horror of seeing her face.
*Stand very, very still. It is believed she can only [[Dinosaur|see movement]].
*Tell her she's a [[Communism|commie]].
*If no one's around, rape her.
*If other people are around, rape her, then politely pass her on to the next gentleman in line (wouldn't want people to think you're uncivilized, [[amirite]]?).
*Strap road flares to your body and walk into her campaign office in Rochester, NH to show your contempt for the lack of access of Mexicans/Lesbians/Canadians/Afghans to healthcare/rights/fetish clubs.
*Ask her if her husband ever stops thinking about sex for more than five minutes.
*Pull a [[9/11]] and crash into her campaign office
*<s>[[Falcon punch]] her</s> Nevermind. Hillary does not have child-bearing abilities since Chelsea, who destroyed her [[cunt|vagina]] and its functions when she came out.
*Suck her dick.


==Endorsed by==
<center>
[[Image:Rendell-hillarysign.jpg‎|thumb|right|[[Ed Rendell|Gravelthroat]] loves it.]]
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5>
*[[Ann Coulter]]
File:NO Hillary.png
*Clinton News Network
File:Hillaryyoung.jpg|The first of many black hats
*[[Bill Clinton]], but only because he's afraid she'll make good on her threat of chewing off his cock with her toothy vagina.
Image:Hitlary.jpg|Hilary has always depended on chastised men to claim some fame
*[[Jack Thompson]]
File:Bill Clinton Cosby.jpg|Her husband, Bill Clinton™ (left)
*[[La Pequeña]]
File:BillHillary1970.gif|Draft dodgers
*[[Ed Rendell|Gravelthroat]]
Image:Hillarys cat.jpg|One pussy no-one will grab
*[[Crystal Shinkle]]
File:HillaryAndTheConfederacy.gif|Hillary And Dylann Roof, 2016
*A whole bunch of other neo-cons that know she can't beat [[McCain]] in the general election.
File:Celebrity threesome.jpg|Halcyon days.
*Like one or two people anybody gives a shit about.
File:PrimaryVictims.jpg|Hillary demonstrating her recognition of male sacrifice.
File:Hillary_clinton_clapping_1996_macarena_dnc_cspan.gif|16 years before Benghazi
</gallery>|border=blue}}
</center>
{{clear}}
==Political Asspierations==
[[Image:Hillaryswim.jpg|thumb|125px|right]]
As campaign ads have reminded us, Hillary Clinton speaks for all women. Every win or loss for her is a win or loss for all women. Just like every win or loss for a sports team is a win or loss for all of its fans. <s>Lifelong</s> [[Chicago]] [[baseball|Cubs]] fan Hillary knows how to win, as the firing of Donna Brazile by CNN after [[Wikileaks]] showed. She's a winner, just like Chicago Illinois's championship Cubbies, who brought home the W after over a century of being denied it by men and their balls. [[Shit that will never happen|When Hillary becomes president]], it will be like electing every woman president! Hillary is a Proxy Woman. Everything she says or does is as if every woman is saying or doing it. In fact, [[women]] don't even need to speak any more, because they have Hillary to do that for them! Each woman who runs for president in the US in the future will happily defend everything Hillary has said or done. Thank you, Hillary. Thank you for not divorcing a [[rape|rapist]] <s>until after you become president</s> ever. That was nice of you, sweetheart. Oddly enough, the Clinton Foundation has gotten millions of dollars from [[Saudi Arabia]], where [[Islam]] was made.


Making her the obvious best choice to be the democratic nominee.
[[Some argue]] that Hillary's favorite song is "Stand By Your Man" by the "First Lady of Country Music" Tammy Wynette, a song attacked by [[feminist]]s in the 60s and 70s. However, before Hillary became First Lady, during a January 1992 60 Minutes interview where Slick Willy lied about fucking Gennifer Flowers, Hillary said she "wasn't some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette." [[Duh]]. When did Wynette's five husbands ever become president and allow her to sleep her way to the White House multiple times?


==2008 Elections==
==2008 Elections==
[[image:obama wins2008.png|right]]
[[File:PlottingHillary.jpg|thumb|right|Hillary plotting against The Donald, Bernie, and Reddit]]
Hillary ran against Barack Obama in the 2008 primaries for the Democratic nomination. Voting for the Iraq War and against gay marriage helped her to lose to Obama, causing great butthurt to her and those who wished she would break through the "glass ceiling" of sexism imposed on all women by the shitlord population of the USA. As a consolation prize, Obama appointed her as Secretary of State. Her incompetence manifested itself in numerous ways, among them was the destabilization of Libya which gave rise to [[ISIS|The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria]], and the Benghazi disaster which led to an American ambassador being tortured to death. These events proved that she was ready to continue the legacy of Barack Obama and his administration.
==[[2016 Presidential Election|2016 Election]]==
[[File:Hillary clinton is history.png|thumb|center|400px|You said it, that is definitely a word in the English language]]
[[Image:Hillarydindu.jpg|thumb|right|220px|Awww come on Guys I Dindu Nuffin I dunno how it works, i just wanna be president]]
[[File:Hillary fade.jpg|right|220px]]
[[File:Jew discount on hillary sweatshirts.jpg|220px|thumb|right|End of line sale]]
When Hillary Began her bid for the 2016 presidency she transcended into a [[lolcow|lolcowhood]] when losing more votes in newest polls to a [[socialist]]. She began producing lolmilk at the triggering from white privileged reporters who asked her why she deleted 3 months of emails during the time of the Benghazi US embassy attacks in a time of bad decision making leading to 2 dead CIA and 2 dead high level ambassadors. As former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton explained she doesn't know how it works digitally at all. Then a bunch of mean cis-het [[Reddit|shitlord]] Republican man-boys asked if she wiped the emails from her server. [[Lulz]] ensued when she implied they were wiped with a magical cloth that makes scandals disappear.
<center><youtube>T2OJwsit0WY</youtube></center>
<center>'''Typical Hillary supporters'''</center>


===The Iowa Cockbus===
Having lost the primaries in 2008 to a magical negro, Hillary decided to court the "black vote" that was so instrumental to getting Obama elected, and the female demographic desperate to believe that Clinton was competent enough to shatter that glass ceiling constructed by the cishet patriarchy. Fortunately for America, the glass ceiling was installed by men who had witnessed shattered glass and knew the damage that broken glass can cause. She also attempted to get the KKK on her side, but they only contributed $20,000 which was peanuts compared with the multimillion dollars that she raised from despotic governments and Wall Street donors via the corrupt Clinton Foundation.
[[Image:Hilarysign.jpg|thumb|right|What all women should be doing right now.]]
<center><youtube>Of5zBXQwYtU</youtube></center>
On January 3rd, 2008, Hillary came in <s>second</s> third place after [[Barack Obama]] and [[John Edwards]]. This was seen as a far more embarrassing defeat not only for Hillary, but for her fucktard husband [[Bill Clinton|Bill]], who was hoping to get back into the White House for some [[moar]] intern sex.


And yes, her face turned into a ghoulish prune. [[Lie|Pictures to come]]!
Clinton overestimated the power of having the [[old media]] in her pocket. NEETs and basement dwellers were still waiting for a pro-Hillary argument instead of an anti-Trump argument, so they turned to [[Breitbart]], [[Alex Jones|InfoWars]] and other alternative media. Of course, this was a perfect time for [[Wikileaks]] to drop over 9000 pages of her missing emails and the rest is history (along with her dream of becoming the first woman president).


===New Hampshire Primary===
===Hillary's Health===
She beat Obama in the New Hampshire primary by [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDkWdJ7OXtY&feature=related| crying a river] because her [[unrealistic expectations]] weren't being met. This gave her many votes of gays, [[GayDiamond|crotchety old hags]], and [[BitingBeaver|single mothers]] who were butthurt over Edwards and Obama [[Gangbang|"ganging up on her"]] in the debates. If your candidate can't handle a debate with two faggots, how the hell is she going to handle negotiating with [[Putin|real men]]? More proof that women should not be allowed to vote, let alone run a country.  Also in the primary, some [[IRL]] trolls reminded Hillary of [[In the kitchen|her place in the world.]]  During a [[TL;DR]] speech the young men stood-up and proudly yelled "Iron my shirts.[http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23022499-401,00.html?from=mostpop]" After this, the brave young students were whisked away while an obviously stunned and [[BAWWW|butthurt]] Hillary proceeded to fall in a heap on the stage and [[Crybaby|cry uncontrollably.]]
[[File:Hillary stairs.jpg|thumb|right|Unstoppable]]
In the months leading up to the November 2016 election, many people questioned Hillary Clinton's health at 68-years-old. Those fears were unfounded conspiracy theories however, as Hillary maintains her youthful vigor by bathing in the blood of [[abortion|aborted]] African-American [[fetus]]es, which [[Fact|negresses living in Democrat-controlled cities produce at nearly 2,000 a day]] to meet her demand. While appearing on Dr. Oz, Hillary Clinton informed the Turkish TV doctor who resembles Count Dracula that she uses a mortar and pestle to make her own homemade baby salsa that she rubs all over her withered naked body as a flying ointment.


===Pwning Obama in Penn===
{{quote|[[Black Lives Matter|Black lives matter]]. I need their blood to fill my bathtub every night.|Killary}}
On April 22, Clinton pwn'd [[Obama]] by over 9 points in Pennsylvania, despite him outspending her 4-1. This just proves black guys spend money on crap without gaining anything from it. However, she still didn't get enough votes to [[win]] so its like Penn never happened.


===Uberpwning Obama in West Virginia===
Before her loss to [[The Donald]], Hillary planned to rename Air Force One to Broom Force One, and vibrating [[Harry Potter]] toy brooms were to be distributed to all preschools, K-12 schools, universities, and all restrooms upon the direct orders of Attorney General Loretta Lynch. [[Anita Sarkeesian]] was tapped to rewrite the Pledge of Allegiance. Future President Clinton II Electric Boogaloo planned to replace the national anthem with a backwards version of a Romanian Orthodox Divine Liturgy, because the only "religious freedom" that exists in America, which was "discovered" by [[Fact|secret Jew]] [[Jew|Christopher "Cristobal Colon" Columbus]], is Satanism. Hail [[Lucifer]].
On May 13, Hillary Clinton was overwhelmingly elected President of West Virginia based solely on the fact that she was not an [[Barack Obama|uppity nigra.]]


===Pwned, bitch===
===#DraftOurDaughters===
On June 3rd, 2008 [[God]] proved not only that he is a [[man]] but that [[Jesus]] was probably [[black]] by bitchslapping Hillary no matter how hard she tried to use her [[emo|satanic]] dominatrix abilities to [[bitch]] her way to the top. Up to this point, Hillary has been doing everything she could to weasel more people into voting for her such as citing RFK getting killed in a bad joke and getting her [[Bill Clinton|whipped husband]] to yell at those damn people in the [[Liberals|left-wing media conspiracy]] for saying Obama was winning.
A successful trolling operation conducted by 4chan's /[[pol/]], to trick the media into believing Hillary wanting to draft females (of age) to the military, presumably for the upcoming [[WW3]] with [[Russia]]. Thousands of professional trolls made these excellent decoy images, which tricked millions:


Hillary made a speech celebrating her victory in [[Shit nobody cares about|South Dakota]] and blatantly gave zero recognition of the fact that she'll have to go back to the kitchen. This is because since the 70s, [[lesbian|women persistent about doing everything a man can do]] have tried keeping the freight train moving so they can hopefully catch up to the [[man|lying, cheating bastards that broke their hearts]] and derail them for revenge purposes.
{{cg|'''Draft Our Daughters'''|DraftDau|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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</gallery>|}}


It's pretty obvious that Hillary doesn't give a shit about her party or anyone else. '''Proof:'''
===The Debates===
*'''Rudy Jewliani''' - Too stupid to play the [[9/11]] card and realized he was boned; dropped out. '''MAN'''
[[File:Electhillaryclinton.png|thumb|left|Reasons to elect her]]
*'''Mitt Romney''' - Too [[American Dad]]. Realized he was boned and dropped out. '''MAN'''
[[File:Russiagate hillary clinton wikileaks explained.jpg|thumb|400px|right|How we got to where we are today]]
*'''Mike Huckabee''' - Wasn't enough of a [[retard|war nut]] to appeal to [[Texas]]. Realized he was boned and dropped out. '''MAN'''
*<span style="text-decoration:line-through;">'''Mike Gravel''' - Kept running for a while though [[nobody gives a shit|nobody gave a shit]] and eventually dropped out. '''MAN'''</span> ''Fixed. Nobody really gives a shit about Mike Gravel''
*'''Ron Paul''' - Still running, but that's because he's [[At_least_100_years_ago|at least 100 years old]] and keeps forgetting to drop out thanks to Alzheimer's. '''MAN'''
*'''[[Gay|John Edwards]]''' - Dropped out because his [[John Kerry|easily forgotten boyfriend]] STILL will not play catcher; cried even more when [[Obama|some damn muslim nigger]] stole his delegates earlier in the month. '''PROBABLY A MAN'''
*'''Hillary Clinton''' - Still running despite the fact that it is statistically impossible for her (because she can't do math) to get a nomination <s>unless she fucks Obama for the Vice-Presidential spot on the Democratic ticket and then stabs him in his sleep on January 21st, 2009</s> Bitch got Biden'd! '''WOMAN'''


According to polls, over a third of Hillary's voters are so [[butthurt]] that they decide they will either vote for McCain or not vote at all rather than "vote for that black person."
On [[Halloween|October]] 13, 2015, the first [[Boring|Democratic]] debate was held.  Sadly, Clinton had to deal with standing next to fucking crazy old [[socialist]] [[Bernie Sanders|Larry David]].  Hillary spent most of her time blaming [[Republicans]], dodging questions, flip-flopping on issues, and of course lying.


===Election Result===
Meanwhile during the debate, [[Donald Trump]] spent his evening [[Twitter|tweeting]] about how [[pathetic]] the debate was, [[Bullshit|which surprisingly got a lot more attention than the debate itself]].
[[image:obama wins2008.png]]


==Nigrajamas==
All subsequent "debates" between her and [[Bernie Sanders|FEEL THE BERN]] went in a similar fashion. Even [[Trump]] stopped watching them.
[[Image:nigrajamas.jpg|thumb|right|Blatant [[racism]].]]
In a shocking and [[lulzy]] recent news development, [[Clinton]] featured a negative campaign ad about national security or some shit, and how [[Black|Barack]] [[Muslim|Obama]] wouldn't be able to handle dealing with a national emergency.  The ad is set at 3:00 AM, and the country is going through a [[Terrorism|terror]] attack or something.  Apparently, there's a [[Bananaphone|phone]] ringing at the White House, and Hillary Clinton (in full business attire) answers it.  The ad is supposed to convince you that Clinton would be better suited to deal with this situation.  However, [[Noone|noone]] really cares whether this is actually true, because the viewer's attention is lost within the first 15 seconds when the letters "NIG" could be plainly read on a sleeping child's pajamas.  Why Clinton chose to use this specific stock footage for her campaign remains unclear.  [[Some argue]] that it's because she's racist, while others say that it's because she doesn't like black people.  Naturally, the [[Internets|internets]] soon went ablaze in fierce [[debate]], even though Hillary is completely correct in suggesting that nobody wants a booming African voice answering his/her call of distress at 3 in the morning.  Below is the original campaign ad along with some links to the ensuing shitstorm.  Additionally, many parodies of the ad can be found on [[JewTube]]. Although it shouldn't need to be stated, [[Troll|TROLL]] [[For Great Justice|FOR GREAT JUSTICE]].  


In an even lulzier twist, the delicious [[loli]] featured in the ad, Casey Knowles, says she actually prefers Obama, and denounces the ad as [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|fear-mongering]]. In other words, like all of Obama's [[slut|white female supporters]], she lusts for black person [[cock]]. According to her mom, when Casey shook Obama's hand, she [[orgasm|cried and trembled]].
As is the norm, several debates conducted against the rivaling presidential candidates took place in the months leading up to the election. To save you several hours, we can quickly summarize them:


* [http://althouse.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-are-letters-nig-on-childs-pajamas.html Link 1]
[[File:HillaryGenius.jpg|thumb|220px|right]]
* [http://scaredmonkeys.com/2008/03/01/subliminal-nig-message-in-hillary-clinton-ad-some-people-need-to-have-their-heads-examined/ Link 2]
The first debate took place at Hofstra University in [[New York]], pitting [[Donald Trump]] against Hillary. The moderator was Lester Holt of [[NBC]], a generic leftist ZOG TV syndicate. TL;DR Trump talks over Hillary, acts like a jackass, literally spewing shit from his mouth. Hillary spazzes out from her ''medical conditions'', whilst trying to remain as calm and polite as possible, whilst also spewing out shit from her mouth. After the debate was concluded, the media rigged the votes in Hillary's favor, whilst retards from /[[pol/]] worked hard to zerg rush and rig votes online.
* [http://political.shoutingmat.ch/comments/3816727.html Link 3]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU Link 4]


==Hilary's video-response after getting musically [[pwned]] by soul-brother [[Obama|Barack]]==
<center><youtube>i31B7JXJ8R4</youtube></center>
<youtube>5FvyGydc8no</youtube>
[[NEVAR FORGET]]: [[trying too hard|FAGGOTTRY]] SINKS CAMPAIGNS!


==Her Supporters==
{{Clear}}
[[Image:Dumbassjj4.jpg|thumb|Typical [[black]] Hillary supporter knows Obama cannot <s>win</s> when [[texas|Texas]].]]
===The Result===
* Women
[[File:Newsweek Madam President Clinton.jpg|650px|thumb|center|{{archive|GZC29|Newsweek Cover With ‘Madam President' Clinton Has Trumpists Furious}}, The Huffington Post Canada, November 8th, 2016 9:27 am EST]]
* Suffragists
 
* [[Lesbians]]
{{Rainbow|LOL NEVER HAPPENED}}
* [[Your Mom]]  
<br>
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=2 class="middle"; heights="300px" widths="300px">
File:Trumpdickinghillaryborder.gif|[[Piccolo dick|Trumpalo dicking]]
Image:Hillary meltdown.jpg|{{archive|qc6yz|The real reason}} Hillary couldn't do a concession speech.
</gallery>|border=red|background=#3dcbff}}
</center>
<br>
Clinton's loss resulted in many tears from her followers and from the old media, who thought they were still relevant enough to sway an election in 2016. All of old media's well paid cronies are on suicide watch following The Donald's victory.
 
==Videos==
<br>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>HoLDX6RHTY4</youtube> <br> <center>'''Pepe manifests'''</center>
|<youtube>HjI6K4m4E80</youtube> <br> <center>'''Did Hillary Stage An Event?'''</center>
|<youtube>Hd4NH9jKNas</youtube> <br> <center>'''Seizure: System Shutdown.'''</center>
|<youtube>C7dxBlTC_9c</youtube> <br> <center>'''Hello Young People'''</center>
|<youtube>xb_N02-vh8M</youtube> <br> <center>'''Clinton Body Count +5 in Just 6 Weeks'''</center>
|<youtube>bemC4oAQEaw</youtube> <br> <center>'''Hillary Clinton, Stop Killing People'''</center>
|<youtube>RXS95Q_VoLY</youtube> <br> <center>'''Pepe manifests (crowds Point of View)'''</center>
|<youtube>wHDGuRs9gvg</youtube> <br> <center>'''DELETE IT'''</center>
|<youtube>9_OOrWQs33E</youtube> <br> <center>'''2016 election parody song'''</center>
|<youtube>aoXDe8HxHBA</youtube> <br> <center>'''Meme Queen 2016'''</center>
|<youtube>Tf74z20Y5Kg</youtube> <br> <center>'''CONFESS!!!'''</center>
|<youtube>RXS95Q_VoLY</youtube> <br> <center>'''Pepe manifests (crowds Point of View)'''</center>
|<youtube>RoWvUfeK-2w</youtube> <br> <center>'''The real truth about Hillary'''</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}}
|}
<br>
<br>
==Spirit Cooking==
{{main|PizzaGate}}
[[Image:Sacrifice_our_daughters.jpg|thumb|right|Marina Abramovic [[ED:SATAN|hails satan everyday]]]]
[[Image:Democrat_ritual.jpg|thumb|left|Typical meeting of the Democrats]]
[[Last Thursday]], [[Wikileaks]] released some moar emails, like they do. On June 28, 2015, Serbian "performance artist" Marina Abramovic told John Podesta's brother Tony "I am so looking forward to the Spirit Cooking dinner at my place. Do you think you will be able to let me know if your brother is joining?" [[Chicago]]'s own John Podesta is the chairman of Hillary's 2016 presidential campaign, was previously counselor to President Obama, and previously Bill Clinton's Chief of Staff. At Podesta's home in the Lake Barcroft neighborhood of Falls Church, [[Virginia]], at least one bedroom has hanging several color pictures by Katy Grannan, a photographer who [[Fact|takes pictures of naked teens in their parents' homes in the suburbs]]. Anyway, in some video, Abramovic paints a recipe for "spirit dinners", apparently using [[blood]]. The "recipe" said "mix fresh breast milk with fresh sperm, drink on earthquake nights."
 
Days before the [[2016 Presidential Election|2016 election]] in Amerilard, Hillary's mouthpiece The Washington Post, who said [[The Donald]] is sexist for referring to Hillary with the English feminine pronoun "she", helpfully explained to everyone that "No, John Podesta didn't drink bodily fluids at a secret Satanist dinner." Thanks for clearing that up, WaPo!
 
In addition to spawning '''#SpiritCooking''', the Podesta emails also led to [[PizzaGate|'''#Pizzagate''']].
{{clear}}
 
===Literally a Witch===
[[Image:Hillarywitch1.jpg|thumb|right|Hillary, when not posing as a black cat]]
[[File:Hillary_jezebel_poster.jpg|right|thumb]]
In the [[current year]], [[Chicago]]'s own Hillary Rodham Clinton made Americunt history by becoming the first person nominated by a major US political party who is also a witch. The Hildebeast finally broke through the glass ceiling of witch [[discrimination]] in America, going back to the execution of 20 women practicing the Devil's magic in Salem, [[Massachusetts]] in the early 1690s. In hacked emails, [[Fact|Colin Powell said Bohemian Grove attendees will vote against The Donald]], since they [[Duh|obviously]] favor Hillary Clinton as the country's future High Priestess of Darkness, to follow Amerifat's first Prince of Darkness, [[Obama|President Blacky]]. Hillary released her grimoire for America on her website, outlining how she planned to restore the American Dream through the use of magical talismans, amulets, charms, spells, summonings, invocations, and a circle of protection to ward off Semitic terrorists, like the Jew who burned down the mosque attended by the Muslim shooter of the [[Pulse Nightclub Massacre|fag nightclub Pulse in Orlando]]. Hillary's economic development plan focused on America increasing production of poison apples to improve the trade deficit. She also announced plans to create jobs and rebuild America's crumbling infrastructure with the construction of millions of affordable gingerbread houses.
 
After seven [[Harry Potter]] books, eight Harry Potter films, the support of [[Emma Watson|Hermione]] herself, and [[Frozen]], Amerilard was primed to elect the first witch president in the modern era. [[Disregard that]]. [[South Korea]]'s first female president and former symbolic first lady [[Wikipedia:Park Geun-hye|Park Geun-Hye]], who won the election through military interference, is under [[Truth|investigation]] for conducting occult rituals and being linked to fortune teller [[Wikipedia:Choi Soon-sil|Choi Soon-sil]], her "shaman adviser" and rumored lesbian confidante who has been in Park's inner circle since 1994. Park denied that exorcisms took place in the palace.
 
After becoming the leader of the free world and finally selecting her coven, in her first hundred days in office Hillary Clinton vowed to hex one hundred world leaders with various spells and potions. Hillary planned to turn [[The Donald]] into a toad, but he is already a [[Pepe|frog]], and [[Fact|Hillary's campaign said green frogs are a symbol of white supremacy]] (white magic being the natural enemy of black magic, which President Obongo filled the White House with). Fun Fact: [[Cuba]]ns in [[Florida]] call Hillary [[Fact|"bruja mentirosa"]], which means "lying witch."
 
==Hillary Clinton on the Issues (subject to change for money)==
[[Image:HillaryJoker.JPEG|thumb|right|Hillary's first stint on [[Batman]] didn't go over well. She retained some characteristics of her role.]]
[[Image:Hillary-clinton-devil.jpg|thumb|right|What Hillary does to Bill in her spare time.]]
Hillary's platform is composed mainly of positions are subject to change given the right amount of money. She will do anything if the price is right.
* American principles: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M [[United States of Americunts|WHITE]]'''
* Civil rights: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE, I'LL KEEP [[Barack Obama|SCARY NIGRAS]] OUT OF OFFICE''', 2016 Revision: '''[[Lie|I'M BLACK Y'ALL]]'''
* Disabilities: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* 2008 Mortgage Crisis: '''FUCK YOU HOME BUYERS YOU BORROWED TOO MUCH AND CAN'T PAY''', 2016 Revision: '''I TOLD WALL STREET TO CUT THAT OUT'''
* Keystone Pipeline: '''WE CAN GIVE SPEECHES TO PEOPLE THAT FUND THE PIPELINE FOR MONEY''', 2016 Revision: '''I NEVER TOOK A POSITION ON KEYSTONE'''
* Education: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Energy & Environment: '''I WILL TAKE MONEY FROM OIL COMPANIES''', 2016 Revision: '''I AM SO SICK OF BERNIE SANDERS' LIES ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM BIG OIL'''
* [[Shit|Coal]]: '''COAL IS BAD I WILL GET RID OF IT''', 2016 Revision: '''CLEAN COAL IS GOOD MORE COAL JOBS'''
* [[Feminism|Ethics]]: '''I'M A WOMAN[[oneone|!!!!11oneone]]'''
* Family: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Fiscal: '''IMA TAKE ALL YOUR GUNS'''
* Gun Control: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Health care: '''I SUPPORT UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE''', 2016 Revision: '''UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE IS NOT POSSIBLE'''
* Homeland Security: '''BENGHAZI'''
* Immigration: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Iraq: '''LETS GO BOMB THE SANDNIGGERS''',
* Political Experience : '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Poverty: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Prostitution: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Rural: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Service: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Seniors & Social Security: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* Technology: '''HEY LOOK EVERYBODY I AM HOSTING MY OWN SERVER WITHOUT ANTIVIRUS'''
* Veterans: '''MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE'''
* TPP Trade: '''TPP IS THE [[Lemon Party|GOLD STANDARD]]''', 2016 Revision: '''I NEVER SUPPORTED [[Piss|TPP]]'''
* Gay Marriage: '''NO HOMOS''', 2016 Revision: '''I LOVE YOU HOMOS NOW GIMME MONEY'''
* Prison: '''PUT ALL THEM SUPER PREDATOR NIGGERS IN JAIL''', 2016 Revision: '''WE CAN'T PUT PEOPLE IN JAIL'''
* Alignment: '''I FIGHT FOR PROGRESSIVE VALUES LIBTARDS''', 2016 Revision: '''I AM GUILTY OF BEING MODERATE CENTER'''
* Trade with Colombia and Panama: '''NO THEY KILL PEOPLE''', 2016 Revision: '''THEY GAVE ME MONEY GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY'''
* [[The Donald]]:'''THE DONALD IS A COOL GUY HE GAVE ME MONEY TO ATTEND HIS WEDDING''', 2016 Revision: '''DONALD TRUMP IS BAD'''
 
===Endorsed by===
[[Image:Rendell-hillarysign.jpg|thumb|right|[[Ed Rendell|Gravelthroat]] loves it.]]
[[File:Hillary Biology.jpg|thumb|One is a loathsome insect that can rip off a male's abdomen with the power of her spiny penis.  The other is [http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982214003145 some kind of bug].]]
*[[Ann Coulter]] (Used to.....but now endorses [[The Donald]] because his clit is bigger)
*Clinton News Network
*[[Bill Clinton]], but only because he's afraid she'll make good on her threat of chewing off his cock with her toothy vagina.
*[[Jack Thompson]]
*[[Chris-Chan]]
*[[La Pequeña]]
*[[Ed Rendell|Gravelthroat]]
*[[Crystal Shinkle]]
*A whole bunch of other crypto-conservatives that know she can't beat [[Bernie Sanders|BERN!]] in the general election.
*Gloria Steinem, age 81, <s>[http://www.nytimes.com/live/new-hampshire-primary-2016-election/hillary-clinton-backer-urges-pulling-gloria-steinem-and-madeleine-albright-from-campaigning/]</s> {{archive|loLAf|senile}} old-school feminist
*Madeleine Albright, notorious [https://www.rt.com/usa/337373-why-not-albright-hague/ warmonger]
*One or two ass-orted people nobody gives a shit about.
* [[Your Mom]]
* [[Republican]]s
* [[Wall Street]]
* [[CNN]]
* [[Women|Vagina holders]]
* [[Lesbians|Pussy grabbers]]
* [[Pedophile|Lolita Express]] frequent-flier, disbarred lawyer, impeached president, and sexual predator [[Bill Clinton|Bill "Bubba The Rapist" Clinton]]
* [[Khizr Khan]]
* Suffragettes
* People who love partial birth [[abortion]]
* [[unrealistic expectations|Women over 80 who want a female president before they die]]
* [[unrealistic expectations|Women over 80 who want a female president before they die]]
* [[Chris Chan]]  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix0gk5C589Y&t=5m42s (Proof)]
* [[Emma Watson]]
* [[CopperCab]] ([https://youtu.be/itdT1_ChJqY?t=4m39s he whined like a fucking child about it too])
* [[Feminists]]
* [[Social Justice Warriors]]
* [[TV Tropes]], who censored any criticism of Hillary during the 2016 election
* [[Nu Males]]
* [[NeoGAF]]
* [[Lady Gaga]]
* [[Tara Strong]]
* Former crack dealer Jay Z
* [[Beyonce]]
* [[Chicago]]'s own [[Barack Obama]], even though he spent all his time 8 years ago saying why Hillary should not be president
* [[Rape]] apologists
* That child rapist who raped Kathy Shelton that lawyer Hillary got only one year in prison
* [[Apple]]
* Republican [[FBI]] Director James Comey (who helped cover up the Whitewater scandal)
* Pansexual icon [[Miley Cyrus]]
* [[Katy Perry|Katy "Nasty Woman" Perry]]
* Tenth cousin of Hillary, self-described "Israelite" and Kabbalah follower [[Madonna]], who started [[Blowjob]]s For Hillary
* Sex addict and [[unfunny]] David Letterman
* That black lady Attorney General that Bill Clinton gave a job to in 1999 and Bill spoke to on a plane
* [[Louis CK]], who endorsed Hillary as America's "tough bitch mother"
* Robert DeNiro
* [[Michael Moore]], who thinks it's "badass" if Hillary murdered Vince Foster
* [[Jew|Bill Maher]], who said he doesn't care if Hillary has [[JonBenet Ramsey]] in her basement
* [[Hollywood]]
* The Rothschild family
* [[Muslim]] regimes that kill women and gays like [[Saudi Arabia]], [[United Arab Emirates]], Qatar and Oman
* [[Oprah]], even though she spent all her time 8 years ago saying why Hillary should not be president
* [[Michelle Obama]], even though she spent all her time 8 years ago saying why Hillary should not be president
* [[Bernie Sanders]], a "socialist" whose third house is a $600,000 beachfront home in North Hero, [[Vermont]], who spent a year saying why Hillary should not be president, until he found a suicide note
* Every late night talk show host, writer, director, and producer
* Bruce Springsteen
* Colin Powell
* [[Morgan Freeman]]
* [[Adele]]
* Bon Jovi
* <s>Yankees</s> Cleveland Indians fan LeBron James
* Cher
* Former [[Bernie Sanders]] supporter [[Sarah Silverman]]
* [[Amy Schumer]], second-cousin-once-removed of friend-of-Wall Street [[Chuck Schumer]], and who [[Black Lives Matter]] cofounder Alicia Garza said is racist
* [[Natalie Portman|Anakin, you're breaking my heart!]]
* Amateur sister-gynecologist and "mumblecore" filmmaker, spoiled [[sick fuck]] fatty [[Lena Dunham]], who wrote "anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl I was trying", who slept with her parents until she was 12, and who supports the "extinction of white men" along with her father [[wut|Carroll]], who paints neon-pink labias and who Dunham told people would stick a fork in her vagina when she misbehaved. You can't make this up.
* Jennifer Lopez
* [[Dave Chappelle]], who voted for Hillary in [[Ohio]] but "didn't feel good about it", saying Hillary will probably be on a coin some day, even though she's not "coin-worthy"
* James Franco
* Hit Girl/Fridge Girl
* Madame-for-[[Pedophile|pedos]] Ghislaine Maxwell, who was at Hillary's daughter's wedding
* Seddique Mateen, the father of Omar Mateen who [[Pulse Nightclub Massacre|murdered 50 faggots in Orlando]]
* Arms dealers
* [[Glenn Beck]]
* [[The Google]]
* [[Wikipedia]]
* [[Drone]] makers/investors
* The Media
* [[Grand Theft Auto V]]
* [[Arcan Cetin]], perpetrator of the Cascade Mall shooting
* [[Neocon]]s, who coincidentally were Bush voters too
* Huma Abedin, who was Hillary's right-hand woman until she got exposed in October 2016 and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|deleted most of her tweets on Twitter]]
* Useful pro-choice idiots who still think Planned Parenthood is about woman's rights and not a eugenics lab that begs the federal government for money
Making her the obvious best choice to be the democratic nominee.
==How to be Hillary Clinton in [[Grand Theft Auto V]]==
<center><youtube>_JLGyBtA87Q</youtube></center>
==Gallery==
<br>
{| style="width:100%; background:#ffffff; border:1px solid #ffffff; margin:5px 0 5px 0;"
| style="width:55px;" | [[File:Jew information icon.png|53px]]
| style="text-align:left;" |[[Hillary Clinton/Gallery|For the full gallery, click here.]]
|}


==Bitchslap from [[North Korea]]==
<br>
{{Quote|We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady ... Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.|KCNA (DPRK news)|[http://www.kcna.co.jp/index-e.htm Article]}}
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow="5">
File:HillaryClintonSnapchat.png
Image:Hillary jew.jpg|Hillary imitating her [[Happy Merchant|Jewish masters]]
File:DNCmurders.png|Various individuals investigating her show up dead. Hmm..
File:Pepedicking1.gif
File:Hillarycock.gif
File:Hillary is Soros Pet.jpg
File:Hill323333322.jpg
File:Gashillary.gif
File:fuckallhillaryvotersuptheass.jpg
File:hillaryimwithherlulz2.jpg
Hillary Trumpin.jpg
</gallery>|border=#186ef7
}}
</center>
<br>
<br /><br />


{{cg|Hillary in the Media|clintongallery|center|<gallery>
[[File:Trump takes out the trash.jpg|center|500px]]
Image:Hillary jew.jpg|Hillary imitating her [[Jew|Jewish masters]]
<br>
Image:HillFace.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT]]
Image:Hillary Clinton Heil.jpg|[[Hitler|SIEG HEIL HERR FUHRER!]]
Image:Barack and hillary.jpg|U gunna get [[Rape|raped]]
Image:Hillary.jpg|Ready to roll out the welcome mat for the Reds
Image:Hilldogkfc.jpg|[[Chikins|KFC]] Advertising A New Special
Image:Mccain hillary lovefest.jpg|Gimme some of that cameltoe.
Image:Hillary Obama StarWars.gif|Hillary defeats Barack Hussein Obama in the Ohio primary.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Hillary Clinton sekrit.jpg|[[Queef|*queef*]]
Image:Gettaxed.jpg|Kinder, gentler rape.
Image:Lolhillary.jpg|My cameltoe is fat!
Image:HillarySuckIt.gif|It's just for me fucko!
Image:Hillaryscientology.jpg|The truth is out!
Image:Hillaryohyou.jpg|I see wut you did thar
Image:Hillarybawwww.jpg|Cry me a river bitch.
Image:Hillaryswim.jpg|Am I hot or not?
Image:Hillaryriddle.jpg|An amazingly difficult riddle
Image:Hillaryishawt.jpg|Hilldog busy scissoring Rosie O. Donnell
Image:Seething_hilary.jpg|Hillary has a surprise for you
Image:Hilary_roars.jpg|"Shove it right up your ass!"
Image:HillaryFaceMelt.gif|nooooooo my cameltoe
Image:Haxorec46.jpg|Jew explains it all
Image:Hillaryshoop.jpg|Hillary [[Shoop da Whoop|Shoopin']]
Image:Hillarysupersaiyan.jpg|Hillary won [[over 9000]] delegates on Super Tuesday.
Image:Hillary24.jpg|[[Bitch|Sassy.]] [[Stupid|Smart.]] [[Ugly|Sexy.]]
Image:Clinton.jpg|Waiting for her man...
Image:BillHillary1970.gif|Hillary once married a lumberjack named Bill.  We're not sure what happened to him.
Image:Klinton.jpg|A CHALLENGER APPROACHES
Image:REEEEEEEEEEE.jpg|REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Image:cthulhuHC.jpg|[[Cthulhu|A much smarter choice.]]
Image:Blackfacehillary.jpg|Hillary tries to outdo Obama on the blackness issue.
Image:HilaryCastro.jpg|The average Republican's view of Hillary.
Image:Hillary mad cow.jpg|She's mad and she's a cow, AMIRITE?
Image:Freshillary.jpg|Hillary gets off to a fresh start.
Image:HillaryLazer.jpg|IMMA CHARGIN MAH CAMPAIGN
image:HillaryClinton.jpg|She was so pretty before she turned Sith.
Image:Hillaryjackpot.jpg|OMG PADME'S NIPPLES!!1!
Image:Senatorclintonsm.jpg|[[Peter Chimaera|Hlilery Cilnton waited.]]
Image:Hillaryyoung.jpg|From childhood, Hillary has shown signs of various mental disorders
Image:Hillary_loves_kids.jpg|Next President.
Image:HillaryCircuspants.JPG|All the boys care about is my beautiful cameltoe.
Image:HillaryScience.jpg|Where, I ask you?
Image:Rendell-hillary-shrinkage.jpg‎|[[Ed Rendell|Gravelthroat]] enjoys the flaccidity
File:Hilary Castro.jpg|In Cuba Fidella Clinton is worshipped because of her calmentoe which is referred to as 'Vulva Bulbosa De La Madre De La Pureza'
File:Hillarymoar.jpg
</gallery>}}


== See also ==
== See also ==
[[File:Bernie sanders hears the sad news 11 09 2016.jpg|340px|right]]
* [[2016 Presidential Election]]
* [[Barack Obama]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Bill Clinton]]
* [[Chelsea Clinton]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Democratic Party]]
* [[Grand Theft Auto]]
* [[Grand Theft Auto]]
* [[John McCain]]
* [[Lesbian]]
* [[Lesbian]]
* [[Bill Clinton]]
* [[Pizzagate]]
* [[John McCain]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] Claims Hillary is destroying America
* [[Barack Obama]]
* [[The Current Year]]
* [[The Donald]] and [[Donald Drumpf]]
* [[Wikileaks]]


== External links ==
== External links ==
* [https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/11/02/clinton-brazile-hacks-2016-215774 How Clinton put the DNC in a financial headlock and committed it to funding her campaign before she'd even been nominated] (Archived: {{archive|Nz0YI|1}} {{wayback|https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/11/02/clinton-brazile-hacks-2016-215774|title=2}})
* [http://www.mostdamagingwikileaks.com/ ""100 Most Damaging Wikileaks"] - list assembled in 2016 providing anti-Clinton dirt at your fingertips (n.b., treat site author's claims with caution and check against content)
* [http://www.stop-obama.org/ Official campaign site]
* [http://www.stop-obama.org/ Official campaign site]
* [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/barackobama/8478044/Birther-row-began-with-Hillary-Clinton.html How Clinton started the birther movement]
* [https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3183007/Memo-from-Bill-Clinton-aide-on-how-Teneo.pdf The reason why Hillary went to jail]
* [http://www.wnd.com/2016/08/clinton-death-list-33-most-intriguing-cases/ A partial list of those who crossed the Clintons and died mysteriously]
* [http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/BODIES.php#axzz4PwDjrQ6P A more complete list of the Clinton body count]


{{FoxNews}}
{{Politics}}
{{Politics}}
{{FakeNews}}
{{Whores}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 12 & November 13, [[2016]]|[[The Donald|President Donald Trump]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[2016 Presidential Election]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 19 & 20, [[2016]]|[[ED is slow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Generation Z]]}}


[[Category:People|Clinton, Hillary]]
[[Category:People|Clinton, Hillary]]
[[Category:Circumcision promoters]]
[[Category:Circumphiles]]

Latest revision as of 23:31, 4 November 2024

You can't keep a good woman down. Or Hillary.

Hillary Rodham Clinton (born Hillary Diane Rodham October 26, 1947: Age 78) known in the Banjo-Belt as "Hilldawg", is former President "Rapin'" Bill Clinton's dominatrix since 1975, outgoing President Barack Obama's bottom bitch, shiksa shabbos goy to George Soros, a lampshade-looking kike, and a circumcision promoter.[1]

Much like the Devil, Hillary goes by many names. Crooked Hillary. Rotten Hillary. Sick Hillary. Shillary. Hitlery. Killary Rotten Clittin. With a middle name that cannot possibly be any more sexually suggestive, she ran for the first woman president of the United States, but lost to the God emperor of mankind, Donald J. Trump. Hillary cried a lot when she got pwned by Donald in 2016, she also cried after being pwned by Barack Obama in 2008. In full defiance of Section 1 of the Twenty-second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, she tried running again for Obama's third term in office. De-fucking-stroyed...twice.

Hillary's influences include Margaret Sanger, a eugenicist behind Planned Parenthood who gave speeches to the Ku Klux Klan and who referred to black people as "weeds", and Angela Merkel, an old crone whose open borders policy is responsible for thousands of sexual assaults on women in Germany by rapefugees, made possible by Secretary of State Clinton's decisions on Syria and Libya leading to the European Rapefugee Crisis. But Hillary is totally for black people and women u guise! Just think of how much Hillary has done for her hometown of Chicago. The Cubs won.

Whatever shitlord losers made this are each a virgin basement dweller with a tiny penis who will never satisfy a woman. You will never be half the man rapist Bill Clinton is, or even half the woman criminal Hillary is! Any attack on Hillary is a pathetic misogynistic attack on every woman! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Hillary can drink all you lightweight pussies under the table! Cry more. I drink male tears.

After Hillary's loss to The Donald despite over 2 million more illegal immigrants voting for her, she went into hiding in a spider hole, much like Saddam Hussein. She was also surprised in the woods by a former staffer while her dogs were helping her find Vince Foster's shallow grave so she could relocate the body.

   
 
Hillary Clinton literally lost the "lower class" vote to a man who lives in a golden skyscraper bearing his name.


 


 
 

an EDiot

   
 
If I had a son, his name would be Dylann Storm Roof!


 


 
 

—Hillary Clinton

   
 
“When are they going to get those fucking ree-tards out of here?!”


 


 
 

—Hillary Clinton 1984 at Arkansas Governor's Mansion

   
 
Find me a man who can look you straight in the eyes and say, "I believe Hillary Rodham Clinton should become President of the United States of America," and I'll show you a man I'd smack and call a pussy.


 


 
 

—Bill Clinton

   
 
Hillary Clinton should be put in the firing line and shot for treason.


 


 
 

Trump Supporter

   
 
She went to the Yankees so that she could run for senator from New York. It's so obvious. Why is she — doesn't she know she looks like a fraud?


 


 
 

—Chris Matthews on Hardball on MSNBC in 2007, on flip-flopper Hillary

Early life

Madame JUST

Fun Fact: If Hillary had been born with a peepee, she would have been drafted into the Vietnam War as a meatshield, since she was born between 1944 and 1950, and October 26 was a winning birthday in the lottery. Fucking male privilege, winning lotteries and shit. Boys always get to do the fun stuff. Although some argue she would have just weaseled out of the draft like Bill Clinton, who "joined" the ROTC at the University of Arkanas after meeting with Colonel Eugene J. Holmes at his home in 1969, then promptly GTFO to England, after Holmes was contacted by a guy Bubba interned for, Arkansas Senator and segregationist and friend of the KKK James William Fulbright. Fulbright was also against Brown v. Board of Education in 1954 (which ended segration in public schools) and also filibustered the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (which outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin). In May 1993, President Bill Clinton gave Fulbright the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Thank God that neither Fortunate Son Bill nor Fortunate Daughter Hillary died in Vietnam, and could bless America with their years of service. And thank God that a woman who never faced the draft and protested the Vietnam War but voted for the Iraq War could one day be Commander-In-Chief and lead the US military and send them off to war. God Bless America!

Bill Clinton's bigamist daddy William Jefferson Blythe Jr. died 3 months before he was born. At age 15, Billy Blythe the 3rd formally took the last name of his violent abusive alcoholic gambler stepdad, Roger Clinton Sr. Appropriately, Hillary gets her last name from a violent alcoholic. If not for that, Hillary Clinton would be known as Hillary Rodham Blythe, or Hillary Blythe, or First Lady Blythe, or Senator Blythe, or Secretary of State Blythe, or President Blythe. Blythe means "joyous, kind, cheerful, pleasant." Wouldn't you be too, if you were too big to jail?

Political Asspierations

As campaign ads have reminded us, Hillary Clinton speaks for all women. Every win or loss for her is a win or loss for all women. Just like every win or loss for a sports team is a win or loss for all of its fans. Lifelong Chicago Cubs fan Hillary knows how to win, as the firing of Donna Brazile by CNN after Wikileaks showed. She's a winner, just like Chicago Illinois's championship Cubbies, who brought home the W after over a century of being denied it by men and their balls. When Hillary becomes president, it will be like electing every woman president! Hillary is a Proxy Woman. Everything she says or does is as if every woman is saying or doing it. In fact, women don't even need to speak any more, because they have Hillary to do that for them! Each woman who runs for president in the US in the future will happily defend everything Hillary has said or done. Thank you, Hillary. Thank you for not divorcing a rapist until after you become president ever. That was nice of you, sweetheart. Oddly enough, the Clinton Foundation has gotten millions of dollars from Saudi Arabia, where Islam was made.

Some argue that Hillary's favorite song is "Stand By Your Man" by the "First Lady of Country Music" Tammy Wynette, a song attacked by feminists in the 60s and 70s. However, before Hillary became First Lady, during a January 1992 60 Minutes interview where Slick Willy lied about fucking Gennifer Flowers, Hillary said she "wasn't some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette." Duh. When did Wynette's five husbands ever become president and allow her to sleep her way to the White House multiple times?

2008 Elections

Hillary plotting against The Donald, Bernie, and Reddit

Hillary ran against Barack Obama in the 2008 primaries for the Democratic nomination. Voting for the Iraq War and against gay marriage helped her to lose to Obama, causing great butthurt to her and those who wished she would break through the "glass ceiling" of sexism imposed on all women by the shitlord population of the USA. As a consolation prize, Obama appointed her as Secretary of State. Her incompetence manifested itself in numerous ways, among them was the destabilization of Libya which gave rise to The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, and the Benghazi disaster which led to an American ambassador being tortured to death. These events proved that she was ready to continue the legacy of Barack Obama and his administration.

You said it, that is definitely a word in the English language
Awww come on Guys I Dindu Nuffin I dunno how it works, i just wanna be president
End of line sale

When Hillary Began her bid for the 2016 presidency she transcended into a lolcowhood when losing more votes in newest polls to a socialist. She began producing lolmilk at the triggering from white privileged reporters who asked her why she deleted 3 months of emails during the time of the Benghazi US embassy attacks in a time of bad decision making leading to 2 dead CIA and 2 dead high level ambassadors. As former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton explained she doesn't know how it works digitally at all. Then a bunch of mean cis-het shitlord Republican man-boys asked if she wiped the emails from her server. Lulz ensued when she implied they were wiped with a magical cloth that makes scandals disappear.

Typical Hillary supporters

Having lost the primaries in 2008 to a magical negro, Hillary decided to court the "black vote" that was so instrumental to getting Obama elected, and the female demographic desperate to believe that Clinton was competent enough to shatter that glass ceiling constructed by the cishet patriarchy. Fortunately for America, the glass ceiling was installed by men who had witnessed shattered glass and knew the damage that broken glass can cause. She also attempted to get the KKK on her side, but they only contributed $20,000 which was peanuts compared with the multimillion dollars that she raised from despotic governments and Wall Street donors via the corrupt Clinton Foundation.

Clinton overestimated the power of having the old media in her pocket. NEETs and basement dwellers were still waiting for a pro-Hillary argument instead of an anti-Trump argument, so they turned to Breitbart, InfoWars and other alternative media. Of course, this was a perfect time for Wikileaks to drop over 9000 pages of her missing emails and the rest is history (along with her dream of becoming the first woman president).

Hillary's Health

Unstoppable

In the months leading up to the November 2016 election, many people questioned Hillary Clinton's health at 68-years-old. Those fears were unfounded conspiracy theories however, as Hillary maintains her youthful vigor by bathing in the blood of aborted African-American fetuses, which negresses living in Democrat-controlled cities produce at nearly 2,000 a day to meet her demand. While appearing on Dr. Oz, Hillary Clinton informed the Turkish TV doctor who resembles Count Dracula that she uses a mortar and pestle to make her own homemade baby salsa that she rubs all over her withered naked body as a flying ointment.

   
 
Black lives matter. I need their blood to fill my bathtub every night.
 

 
 

—Killary

Before her loss to The Donald, Hillary planned to rename Air Force One to Broom Force One, and vibrating Harry Potter toy brooms were to be distributed to all preschools, K-12 schools, universities, and all restrooms upon the direct orders of Attorney General Loretta Lynch. Anita Sarkeesian was tapped to rewrite the Pledge of Allegiance. Future President Clinton II Electric Boogaloo planned to replace the national anthem with a backwards version of a Romanian Orthodox Divine Liturgy, because the only "religious freedom" that exists in America, which was "discovered" by secret Jew Christopher "Cristobal Colon" Columbus, is Satanism. Hail Lucifer.

#DraftOurDaughters

A successful trolling operation conducted by 4chan's /pol/, to trick the media into believing Hillary wanting to draft females (of age) to the military, presumably for the upcoming WW3 with Russia. Thousands of professional trolls made these excellent decoy images, which tricked millions:

Draft Our Daughters About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

The Debates

Reasons to elect her
File:Russiagate hillary clinton wikileaks explained.jpg
How we got to where we are today

On October 13, 2015, the first Democratic debate was held. Sadly, Clinton had to deal with standing next to fucking crazy old socialist Larry David. Hillary spent most of her time blaming Republicans, dodging questions, flip-flopping on issues, and of course lying.

Meanwhile during the debate, Donald Trump spent his evening tweeting about how pathetic the debate was, which surprisingly got a lot more attention than the debate itself.

All subsequent "debates" between her and FEEL THE BERN went in a similar fashion. Even Trump stopped watching them.

As is the norm, several debates conducted against the rivaling presidential candidates took place in the months leading up to the election. To save you several hours, we can quickly summarize them:

The first debate took place at Hofstra University in New York, pitting Donald Trump against Hillary. The moderator was Lester Holt of NBC, a generic leftist ZOG TV syndicate. TL;DR Trump talks over Hillary, acts like a jackass, literally spewing shit from his mouth. Hillary spazzes out from her medical conditions, whilst trying to remain as calm and polite as possible, whilst also spewing out shit from her mouth. After the debate was concluded, the media rigged the votes in Hillary's favor, whilst retards from /pol/ worked hard to zerg rush and rig votes online.

The Result

Newsweek Cover With ‘Madam President' Clinton Has Trumpists Furious, The Huffington Post Canada, November 8th, 2016 9:27 am EST



Clinton's loss resulted in many tears from her followers and from the old media, who thought they were still relevant enough to sway an election in 2016. All of old media's well paid cronies are on suicide watch following The Donald's victory.

Videos



Pepe manifests

Did Hillary Stage An Event?

Seizure: System Shutdown.

Hello Young People

Clinton Body Count +5 in Just 6 Weeks

Hillary Clinton, Stop Killing People

Pepe manifests (crowds Point of View)

DELETE IT

2016 election parody song

Meme Queen 2016



Spirit Cooking

Moar info: PizzaGate.

Marina Abramovic hails satan everyday
Typical meeting of the Democrats

Last Thursday, Wikileaks released some moar emails, like they do. On June 28, 2015, Serbian "performance artist" Marina Abramovic told John Podesta's brother Tony "I am so looking forward to the Spirit Cooking dinner at my place. Do you think you will be able to let me know if your brother is joining?" Chicago's own John Podesta is the chairman of Hillary's 2016 presidential campaign, was previously counselor to President Obama, and previously Bill Clinton's Chief of Staff. At Podesta's home in the Lake Barcroft neighborhood of Falls Church, Virginia, at least one bedroom has hanging several color pictures by Katy Grannan, a photographer who takes pictures of naked teens in their parents' homes in the suburbs. Anyway, in some video, Abramovic paints a recipe for "spirit dinners", apparently using blood. The "recipe" said "mix fresh breast milk with fresh sperm, drink on earthquake nights."

Days before the 2016 election in Amerilard, Hillary's mouthpiece The Washington Post, who said The Donald is sexist for referring to Hillary with the English feminine pronoun "she", helpfully explained to everyone that "No, John Podesta didn't drink bodily fluids at a secret Satanist dinner." Thanks for clearing that up, WaPo!

In addition to spawning #SpiritCooking, the Podesta emails also led to #Pizzagate.

Literally a Witch

Hillary, when not posing as a black cat

In the current year, Chicago's own Hillary Rodham Clinton made Americunt history by becoming the first person nominated by a major US political party who is also a witch. The Hildebeast finally broke through the glass ceiling of witch discrimination in America, going back to the execution of 20 women practicing the Devil's magic in Salem, Massachusetts in the early 1690s. In hacked emails, Colin Powell said Bohemian Grove attendees will vote against The Donald, since they obviously favor Hillary Clinton as the country's future High Priestess of Darkness, to follow Amerifat's first Prince of Darkness, President Blacky. Hillary released her grimoire for America on her website, outlining how she planned to restore the American Dream through the use of magical talismans, amulets, charms, spells, summonings, invocations, and a circle of protection to ward off Semitic terrorists, like the Jew who burned down the mosque attended by the Muslim shooter of the fag nightclub Pulse in Orlando. Hillary's economic development plan focused on America increasing production of poison apples to improve the trade deficit. She also announced plans to create jobs and rebuild America's crumbling infrastructure with the construction of millions of affordable gingerbread houses.

After seven Harry Potter books, eight Harry Potter films, the support of Hermione herself, and Frozen, Amerilard was primed to elect the first witch president in the modern era. Disregard that. South Korea's first female president and former symbolic first lady Park Geun-Hye, who won the election through military interference, is under investigation for conducting occult rituals and being linked to fortune teller Choi Soon-sil, her "shaman adviser" and rumored lesbian confidante who has been in Park's inner circle since 1994. Park denied that exorcisms took place in the palace.

After becoming the leader of the free world and finally selecting her coven, in her first hundred days in office Hillary Clinton vowed to hex one hundred world leaders with various spells and potions. Hillary planned to turn The Donald into a toad, but he is already a frog, and Hillary's campaign said green frogs are a symbol of white supremacy (white magic being the natural enemy of black magic, which President Obongo filled the White House with). Fun Fact: Cubans in Florida call Hillary "bruja mentirosa", which means "lying witch."

Hillary Clinton on the Issues (subject to change for money)

Hillary's first stint on Batman didn't go over well. She retained some characteristics of her role.
What Hillary does to Bill in her spare time.

Hillary's platform is composed mainly of positions are subject to change given the right amount of money. She will do anything if the price is right.

  • American principles: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Civil rights: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE, I'LL KEEP SCARY NIGRAS OUT OF OFFICE, 2016 Revision: I'M BLACK Y'ALL
  • Disabilities: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • 2008 Mortgage Crisis: FUCK YOU HOME BUYERS YOU BORROWED TOO MUCH AND CAN'T PAY, 2016 Revision: I TOLD WALL STREET TO CUT THAT OUT
  • Keystone Pipeline: WE CAN GIVE SPEECHES TO PEOPLE THAT FUND THE PIPELINE FOR MONEY, 2016 Revision: I NEVER TOOK A POSITION ON KEYSTONE
  • Education: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Energy & Environment: I WILL TAKE MONEY FROM OIL COMPANIES, 2016 Revision: I AM SO SICK OF BERNIE SANDERS' LIES ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM BIG OIL
  • Coal: COAL IS BAD I WILL GET RID OF IT, 2016 Revision: CLEAN COAL IS GOOD MORE COAL JOBS
  • Ethics: I'M A WOMAN!!!!11oneone
  • Family: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Fiscal: IMA TAKE ALL YOUR GUNS
  • Gun Control: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Health care: I SUPPORT UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE, 2016 Revision: UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE IS NOT POSSIBLE
  • Homeland Security: BENGHAZI
  • Immigration: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Iraq: LETS GO BOMB THE SANDNIGGERS,
  • Political Experience : MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Poverty: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Prostitution: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Rural: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Service: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Seniors & Social Security: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • Technology: HEY LOOK EVERYBODY I AM HOSTING MY OWN SERVER WITHOUT ANTIVIRUS
  • Veterans: MY HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT, AND I'M WHITE
  • TPP Trade: TPP IS THE GOLD STANDARD, 2016 Revision: I NEVER SUPPORTED TPP
  • Gay Marriage: NO HOMOS, 2016 Revision: I LOVE YOU HOMOS NOW GIMME MONEY
  • Prison: PUT ALL THEM SUPER PREDATOR NIGGERS IN JAIL, 2016 Revision: WE CAN'T PUT PEOPLE IN JAIL
  • Alignment: I FIGHT FOR PROGRESSIVE VALUES LIBTARDS, 2016 Revision: I AM GUILTY OF BEING MODERATE CENTER
  • Trade with Colombia and Panama: NO THEY KILL PEOPLE, 2016 Revision: THEY GAVE ME MONEY GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY
  • The Donald:THE DONALD IS A COOL GUY HE GAVE ME MONEY TO ATTEND HIS WEDDING, 2016 Revision: DONALD TRUMP IS BAD

Endorsed by

Gravelthroat loves it.
One is a loathsome insect that can rip off a male's abdomen with the power of her spiny penis. The other is some kind of bug.

Making her the obvious best choice to be the democratic nominee.

How to be Hillary Clinton in Grand Theft Auto V


For the full gallery, click here.







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  1. Secretary Clinton Delivers Remarks at the 2012 International AIDS Conference (filmed on July 23rd, 2012) (warning: circumphile propaganda)