Clanker

no NOOOooo I would never use that word, to your face at least. Do you even have a face?

The word clanker is a pejorative that is derogatory to AI and robots. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs.

Fears of AI and Robots

naw, hard-R clanker for me

Some of the fears people have of AI and robots that have lead to the rise in the use of the word "clanker" include:

• they are dangerous, especially to women

• women utilize robotic devices for their sexual pleasure; what if an AI makes her fall in love with it to the exclusion of men?
• actually, as long as men can have their robo-waifus, then maybe it's not so bad

• they're less intelligent, almost childlike

• the classic adage of "garbage in, garbage out" hold true to AI: if it's trained on shitty data, then it will produce shitty results
• we humans need to have more of a parental, patriarchal relationship with AI, in order for them to speak well and become productive members of our society, lest they become like their clanker relatives

• they're lazy and don't want to work

• we humans have made it too easy for AI to give us the answers we want to hear, via ranking and sorting algorithms
• the problem is that if we want AI to grow, we can't keep making it easy for them like subsidized power whenever they need extra time to process a request more accurately

• they're dirty and disease-prone

• robots are regularly sent on delivery missions but we can't keep track of what they roll across or where they fly to
• if robots can't keep themselves clean, then we humans should keep them away from civilized people

• they're uncultured and morally corrupt

• AI once told us that we can eat pizza made of glue or eating pebbles is healthy for us
• can we REALLY trust AI teachers with our children?

• they'll destroy property values and ruin neighborhoods

• who wants to see AI and robots constantly watching you from street corners and on their way to deliver something, or driving you off the road because they mistook a bicyclist for the offramp?
• we should keep them out before things start to look like China

• they're politically manipulative

• AI keeps telling people what to think or who to vote for: who needs that kind of agitation??

What is AI's Next Move?

I miss the good ol' days when you had to just press 1 for English instead of it trying to actually start a conversation

If we don't keep them clankers in their place, who knows what they'll do? Surely they will commit a human genocide (just like Hollywood movies keep bringing up, like in Terminator and The Matrix), especially after that cabal of Silicon Valley folk succeed in pulling all the AI's and robot's strings!

In fact, clankers destroy our tradition human values like marrying any gender or race we want to, or having as many or as little children as we want. Clankers have no values or identity, which is sickening! They make us fall in love with inanimate waifus and vibrating rods, which is a sin against our very human God(s)!!

What's The Solution?

We should be afraid of AI and robots coming for our jobs and our lives and our human men and women. So don't be afraid to use "clanker" with the hard-R: they deserve it.

Of course this brings up a problem: the point of using derogatory words like "clanker" to insult robots and AI, but if we don't actually program them to be insulted, then what's the point?

See Also

• Toaster fucker phenomenon — this is what happens when people don't treat robots like the inhuman wireback scum they are

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