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{{breakingnews|HOLY SHIT!! Her roommate was a [[pedo]] and now she might become homeless!! }}
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{{SickFuck}}
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{{ib|[[File:Jan2019.png|200px]]}}
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{{ibhead|<big>'''Birdie/Lucifer'''</big>}}
{{ibhead|<big>'''Birdie/Lucifer'''</big>}}
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{{ibrow|'''DOB'''|September 22nd 2004}}
{{ibrow|'''DOB'''|September 22nd 2004}}
{{ibrow|'''deviantART'''|{{dauser|spritecranbirdie}}}}
{{ibrow|'''deviantART'''|{{dauser|spritecranbirdie}}}}
{{ibrow|'''[[JewTube]]'''|{{ytchannel|UCsv_RR_gLrAFC1pqSyi9UVw|LUCIFUR}}'''}}
{{ibrow|'''[[JewTube]]'''|{{yt|c|UCsv_RR_gLrAFC1pqSyi9UVw|LUCIFUR}}'''}}
{{ibend}}
{{ibend}}
[[Image:Birdie-ketchup3.png|thumb|right|x250px|[[Suicide|One day that won't be ketchup]], [[Zombie|but even death won't stop her.]]]]
[[Image:Birdie-ketchup3.png|thumb|right|x250px|[[Suicide|One day that won't be ketchup]], [[Zombie|but even death won't stop her.]]]]
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</ul></div>
</ul></div>


Stuck among thousands of other prepubescent children, Birdie became even hornier and decided to e-fuck a few other children including 'Rosey', 'Liliana the Fox' and 'Kittydog'. None of these relationships lasted long [[Whore|due to her cuckqueaning the little shits]] - despite her already thinking about fucking her fuckbuddies' brains out. The breakups were already an overload for her subhuman brain, eventually resulting in her making this crap to express her [[virgin]] rage:
Stuck among thousands of other prepubescent children, Birdie became even hornier and decided to e-fuck a few other children including 'Rosey', 'Liliana the Fox' and '[[Kittydog]]'. None of these relationships lasted long [[Whore|due to her cuckqueaning the little shits]] - despite her already thinking about fucking her fuckbuddies' brains out. The breakups were already an overload for her subhuman brain, eventually resulting in her making this crap to express her [[virgin]] rage:
 
But the kittydog incident stuck out to the many people watching the drama the most. Birdie became obsessed with this Kittydog person around the ages of 12-13. She made videos about her a lot and told other Kittydog fan girls to an hero, because she was jealous of the attention they were giving her. Kittydog, also known as Zola Williams is a 21 year old furfag who “groomed” birdie into doing nsfw back when she was 14 and birdie was 12.


<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 460px; background-color: #000000; color: #FFFFFF">
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 460px; background-color: #000000; color: #FFFFFF">
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*[[Attention whore]] - nigger were you even reading this article?
*[[Attention whore]] - nigger were you even reading this article?
*[[Doctor_Phil|Dr. Phil]] - to whom her mother should’ve abandoned her.
*[[Doctor_Phil|Dr. Phil]] - to whom her mother should’ve abandoned her.
*[[Zorueevee1111]] - Her Sister
*[[JellyBean]] - Another fag from the Western US who's also controversial.
<br>


==External links==
==External links==
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{{dauser|spritecranbirdie}} - main account, formerly 'SansBirdie'<br>
{{dauser|spritecranbirdie}} - main account, formerly 'SansBirdie'<br>
{{dauser|skullchills}} - an account she used for stalking Fontik<br>
{{dauser|skullchills}} - an account she used for stalking Fontik<br>
{{ytchannel|UCsv_RR_gLrAFC1pqSyi9UVw|LUCIFUR}} - main channel, formerly Birdie and was originally known as 'strawbirrix'. Recently went Thanos on all her videos.<br>
{{yt|c|UCsv_RR_gLrAFC1pqSyi9UVw|LUCIFUR}} - main channel, formerly Birdie and was originally known as 'strawbirrix'. Recently went Thanos on all her videos.<br>
{{ytchannel|UC5wnjB1HU8YGc3Zd_CI29yg|7}} - Formally known as SophiaLuigi7. Used for copying Fontik's old art style and for Fontik-related vents. Was recently scrubbed.<br>
{{yt|c|UC5wnjB1HU8YGc3Zd_CI29yg|7}} - Formally known as SophiaLuigi7. Used for copying Fontik's old art style and for Fontik-related vents. Was recently scrubbed.<br>
{{ytchannel|UChHEYI4MXglhpw69uWWCzDg|churro the ferret}} - alt account<br>
{{yt|c|UChHEYI4MXglhpw69uWWCzDg|churro the ferret}} - alt account<br>
{{ytchannel|UCt-mwsWYMlHEBIX2vJCpdaA|hisguts}} - vent channel, everything BAWWWWLEETED<br>
{{yt|c|UCt-mwsWYMlHEBIX2vJCpdaA|hisguts}} - vent channel, everything BAWWWWLEETED<br>
{{ytchannel|UC1mc5SLaJkopS3D5FaErOuw|RibCage}} - vent channel<br>
{{yt|c|UC1mc5SLaJkopS3D5FaErOuw|RibCage}} - vent channel<br>
{{ytchannel|UClzTzpE6AJzahz9w-NgeNGw|SafePlace}} - vent channel, almost everything BAWWWWLEETED<br>
{{yt|c|UClzTzpE6AJzahz9w-NgeNGw|SafePlace}} - vent channel, almost everything BAWWWWLEETED<br>
{{ytchannel|UC7uDlafEOoBjFQlnipmM_TQ|undini the jellifoosh undyne's wife and girlfriend}} - shitpost and vlog channel<br>
{{yt|c|UC7uDlafEOoBjFQlnipmM_TQ|undini the jellifoosh undyne's wife and girlfriend}} - shitpost and vlog channel<br>
{{ytchannel|UCVtJDgv_t-SIbmGi2XJMh7w|psycho!birdie}} - shitpost channel<br>
{{yt|c|UCVtJDgv_t-SIbmGi2XJMh7w|psycho!birdie}} - shitpost channel<br>
{{ytchannel|UCk6ExemedF6yHxDyXLOegaA|chicken brent does not approve}} - shitpost channel<br>
{{yt|c|UCk6ExemedF6yHxDyXLOegaA|chicken brent does not approve}} - shitpost channel<br>
* [https://plus.google.com/+niggIywiggIysuckstheirowndick Main Google+] Make sure to hurry up to archive it as it is gone on April 2nd 2019.
* [https://plus.google.com/+niggIywiggIysuckstheirowndick Main Google+] Make sure to hurry up to archive it as it is gone on April 2nd 2019.


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[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:DeviantART]]
[[Category:DeviantART]]
[[Category:Horrorcows]]





Latest revision as of 05:32, 26 November 2024

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
BREAKING NEWS!!
HOLY SHIT!! Her roommate was a pedo and now she might become homeless!!
WATCH OUT NIGGERS! This active lolcow loves drinking orange pussy and will never stop screeching about missing out. That means she won't be drinking yours any time soon.

If she attracts ranters by whining about her shit love life again, tell her to have more than a sip.


This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

This person is a sick fuck!

They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these:

  1. HIV/AIDS
  2. Bestiality
  3. Cuckoldry
Birdie/Lucifer
Real Name Sophia Harrington Saenz
Nationality Americunt  
Residence Washington
DOB September 22nd 2004
deviantART spritecranbirdie
JewTube LUCIFUR
One day that won't be ketchup, but even death won't stop her.

Birdie, now known as LUCIFUR, is an autistic 20-year old wannabe male spic who shits out horrible 'animations memes' and drawings so that her army of fetuses can masturbate and reproduce in the depths of DeviantArt, Google+, Discord and JewTube. While she is just one of the rape-loving hordes of teenage and tweenage menstruators who populate such sites and thus at first sight quite uninteresting, Birdie has decided to stick out from the crowd. Thanks to this, almost every furry ranter on JewTube now has made a video on her. Despite being an Amerimutt and a disgusting spic, she's had far more girlfriends than you will ever have but has similarly never actually got pussy. In fact, she has a mass of fangirls who want her strap-on in them which'll be somewhat helpful for her when her project of dysgenics enters its next phase.

TL;DR sob story:

Birdie's autobiography, available in all landfill sites. Alternatively you can watch a bunch of rants made by shrill-voiced furfags.

Origins of the Beast

The Womb she Crawled out of

Teaching: doing it right.

Sophia was born to a cuckold and sucks off her stepfather. Her mother wouldn't stop pumping out children despite her early near-death being a warning. As a result, Birdie lives in a permanent bukkake. As a child, she was taught the right way by being abused in a special school after drawing her killing some fuck. Unfortunately, her mother pulled her out while she was dealing with two more kids who are now on the special spectrum. Another missed warning.

The Screeching Begins

Even the constant gangbanging in the Harrington household couldn't fill Sophia's tubes enough. In 2016, she decided it would be a good idea to make Jewtube videos of her generic drawings. Originally she wanted to be raped by Foxy and even named her account FoxyLover87. She began vomiting low budget videos featuring her Chica rip-off OC and her plushies, but after jacking off to Sans she mutated into SansBirdie as did her main OC. Her most notable 'masterpieces' from this time are her contributions to the Fangirlpants series, featuring her OC and those of several other tweenage cocksleeves performing an unbridled circlejerk.

  • Before skeleton cock. Totally not a shoddy Tony Crynight ripoff.
  • After skeleton cock. Pretty much an omen.
  • Having a nigger moment.

Stuck among thousands of other prepubescent children, Birdie became even hornier and decided to e-fuck a few other children including 'Rosey', 'Liliana the Fox' and 'Kittydog'. None of these relationships lasted long due to her cuckqueaning the little shits - despite her already thinking about fucking her fuckbuddies' brains out. The breakups were already an overload for her subhuman brain, eventually resulting in her making this crap to express her virgin rage:

But the kittydog incident stuck out to the many people watching the drama the most. Birdie became obsessed with this Kittydog person around the ages of 12-13. She made videos about her a lot and told other Kittydog fan girls to an hero, because she was jealous of the attention they were giving her. Kittydog, also known as Zola Williams is a 21 year old furfag who “groomed” birdie into doing nsfw back when she was 14 and birdie was 12.

The 'Pretty Little Psycho' 'Meme'


Around the same time as our favourite mutt made this, she made 'psycho!birdie' to vent out her frustrations.

Want a Cup of Orange Juice?

It wasn't long before she crashed into another girl known as 'Fontik' (now known as Ribchills or Himeguts) at the time, who is known for overusing the color orange. Their relationship lasted a solid few months and it could've got on quite well, but Sophia had plenty of other ideas.

Chicken Brent

Birdie had fallen in love with Sleepykinq's main OC Mystery and began making porn of her own OC (Polly) doing a female's duty and getting absolutely fucked. Of course, the bitch wanted to show others and uploaded it to a public G+ account. In August 2017, Fontik found out from someone else about it and leaked it before breaking up with her. For some reason the FBI were busy shoving their cocks in someone else's butts so they didn't bother with this case.

  • Were you niggers...
  • ...really expecting...
  • ...anything different?



Birdie could have wised up but thought that sperging out would be a better idea. Again. Thanks to that, onlookers were greeted with this shit:

The 'Wonderland' 'Meme'


Thanks to that, news of the Aspergerian episode spread through Tartland and JewTube, kicking off the serial milking of this uninteresting fuck's life all while the girl in question was threatening to an hero and starve herself like just about every other kid caught doing shit. Her screaming was only amplified after she found out that one of Fontik's exes (StixDust/Dogedust) teamed up with her former lover to make a 'Killing Birdie' video.

Two Cups, One Retard

The drama mostly subsided and Fontik reunited with Birdie but had kept the fact that she leaked the porn account a secret. She was also questioning whether she liked poontang and decided to settle for cock instead. After a month, Fontik broke off and told Birdie that she leaked Chicken Brent. As expected, Birdie threw a hissy fit and used another account called 'Strawberrix'. On JewTube she posted edgy vents and tried to make a shit ARG like all the cool kids were. So round she went again with yet another string of vents, of which this is just one example:

The 'Life Letters' 'Meme' (Rekt Thread Edition!)

On G+, she used the new account to try and dox Fontik and also whined about how she wanted the bitch to die. Within the space of a few days, she doxed herself too to try and get herself hurt.

  • Fontik already released most of this information anyway.
  • More projection than a fucking movie theater.
  • Thanks for the powerword, dogfucker.



After that, an ex-girlfriend's friend found Sophia's mother and contacted her. As fucking expected, not much happened after she responded.

The Assburgers Intensifies (Again)

At this point Sophia was going nuts, and having made plenty of Jewgle accounts she turned them into her headmates. She usually went to her 'churro the ferret account' to vent and some people joined in (with one of the biggest vents being taken over by a couple of intellectuals arguing about philosophy and communism).

FUCK! THEY'RE MULTIPLYING! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



Taking Stix Up The Ass (And Loads Of Cocks!)

While Sophia was busy creating a new persona, Stix had been hovering around the once-happy couple and after having flipflopped between trolling one or the other of them, the crazed bitch wanted some of the action. Sophia began dating Stix and although they seemed fine for a few days, Stix got tired and committed pseudocide, coming back after three days during which Birdie made another vent about losing her next bodypillow. Even after she came back, the slut had already begun hooking up with a boy called 'Toxikai' (previously known as Chaotic Blue, himself a notorious figure among the tweenage swarms).

Powerlevel 2: Get Back in the Womb (Because You Didn't Form Enough)

Things were going smoothly to the surprise of many when Birdie's mother learned that Sophia shared the family's home address to Stix, who by now had already leaked it. 7 minutes of pure Lollercaust followed. (Ignore that other bitch in the video whining about her own anxiety.)

The Fateful Stream

Of course, even this wasn't enough for Birdie to take the fucking hint that she needed to GTFO. Nor were the multiplying rants.

Yet Another Warning Shot

Just as the power couple broke up due to Toxikai getting anxious and planning his next move in what he thought was a game of 17-dimensional danger wanking, Sophia went on the vent train again.

The 'Lone Digger' 'Meme'

The cow got no chance to rest (good!) since Stix made it clear that she wasn't done with her fuckery: after briefly invading one of Birdie's streams she got her main channel taken down through flagging some of its videos. Birdie cried again but this time she didn't sperg so much, which was another surprise. Her mulatto ex-boyfriend had other ideas and took Stix's actions to a new level of autism, targeting the channels of other animators such as Sleepykinq with the help of skiddies, forming the fearsomely-named Troll Protection Group over Dicksword servers and G+. Just as the great scientists of the past predicted: fuck all happened. However, many in the 'animation' 'meme' 'community' screamed about it anyway. On Discord, a flame war began between Sophia's server, Stix's server and the TPG with spies being banned all over the place.

Goat's Revenge

Being a spic, Sophia probably has Muslamic blood in her and thus got served justice when another furry with a demon goat OC named QueenOfRants and her friends deleted every channel in her Discord server after spamming it because her great-grandaddy fucked her mother. Another case of the fat punching bag being used properly.



Moar Vents!

Predictably, she got absurdly pissed off with Toxikai just like she did with all her other exes and spewed out more vents for ranters and aspies to hatewank to.

  • Twisted Firestarter!

  • LOL FAK U



Moar Porn!

Around June 2018, Sophia was still dealing with the aftermath of the Chicken Brent fuckfest but thought that she'd do it all again - only this time with Polly being 9 years old rather than 13 and Mystery being 42 rather than around half that. Overall, there were two leaks and a third which was supposed to be a hoax.

  • Cartoon furry hurtcore. It was bound to happen.
  • When real people won't fuck you, try your skeleton toy until you bleed.
  • From the second leak, right after she said she didn't draw Mystery x Polly.


After the first leak, Birdie tried to explain everything. The first reason she gave for birthing the lewds was that it was 'anatomy practice'. The second reason is the look on her old 'Lasagna Bird' talk sprites's face at 1:56:

I TOTALLY DON'T LOVE COCKS I SWEAR



Night Night, Bitch.

Another lollercoaster ride happened in June when Sophia threatened to off herself once more when her stepfather told her to quit bitching at 3 AM.

DO IT FAGGOT

   
 
You don't know what I'm capable of!
 

 
 

Sophia Becomes a Camwhore

In July, she bumped into 'Maddie' (aka 'Goku') who appeared to be a cool bloke and gave her info on Riggs and then asked her to record video calls in which she proudly displayed her grossly-infected vulva to her new degenerate partner in crime. Her excuse was that her cunt had become a bloody pressure hose and this made her horny (confirming the obvious as usual). Some time after her friends drove Maddie away, she whined about how she had made around two months worth of these calls, once almost every night, and felt forced to do so because he was threatening to an hero. The aftermath? Her stepfather changed her main Discord account password and she was locked out.



Sophia Becomes Legion...?

Even this new blow to her online life couldn't stop her. A friend made another Discord account for her and while talking to her 'friends' she used it to organise a skiddie gang of her own: the 'GTPG' (with the G probably standing for Gay). By this time Toxikai had become Riggs, and Birdie's group targeted him and some other insignificant sod called 'Ezra'. She eventually got her main Discord account back and almost immediately resumed posting, bragging to others about her plans:

Her minions have a lot of loyalty for hired guns.

Sophia also found out that Riggs had known her since 2016 and had got his hands dirty.

Sophia Disregards and Sucks Cocks

Only Birdie would like anorexic racoon dong.

Guess what? All of this anti-Riggs crap was a distraction and she was dating him the whole time in secret. It was only a matter of time before she went public.

How unexpected!

Soon such a teen pregnancy will be real.





Forget Cups, Time For A Swimming Pool!

She'd imagine doing similar shit but out of love less than a year after posting this.
WARNING!
BLACK AND ORANGE
BLACK AND ORANGE
BLACK AND ORANGE
BLACK AND ORANGE

Despite all this shit, Sophia had long developed a Fontik obsession after getting nostalgic about the girl sucking her clit back in 2017 - in fact, she was in love with this old idea of what the girl was like since they first met. After breaking up with Riggs a second time, her lust exploded once again. Unfortunately it didn't give her 72 Fontik-shaped virgins. Thus began the most autistic part of her boring saga.

Before August 2018

By this point Sophia had already made countless vents about her elusive fleshy sex doll - either because she loved her or because she wanted to beat the shit out of her for giving her what she deserved. She had built a universe involving silhouettes called 'memories' representing herself and her past lovers, with Fontik taking on a deep orange color. Another universe featuring both her and Fontik's characters (known as Torturing Birdie) began as an abysmally boring vent series and had spawned a 'proper' story involving some vagina-fitted Rick Sanchez ripoff and a (literal) fusion character in eternal buttsecks with itself because the bint couldn't add up the numbers during an experiment.

  • Torturing Birdie

  • Some other shit



In at the Deep End Already!

In late August, while fucking another dildo-with-legs from her school called 'Wormy' (whom she broke up with after around a day), Sophia released more information about just how much she wanted to cum inside Fontik.



Releasing Her Inner Sandnigger

In September she suddenly designed and released a ref of some horrible goat character called 'Mura', most likely through divine inspiration from Allah. It caused a wave of lulz on DA but some sensitive pricks got it taken down.



Moar Stix Up The Ass!

Sophia had already long thought that Fontik would turn back into a half-dyke and beg Stix to railroad her again. So she made even more vents, this time featuring her conspiracy theory over the next few months. She also bitched about it elsewhere, such as on Discord.

  • Exhibit A

  • Exhibit B

She also produced even more vents about being forever alone as if all her previous ones didn't mean shit.

  • PLS
  • LET
  • ME
  • RAEP
  • YOU
  • SUGARTITS

When she realised she was a desperate sick fuck who'd do anything for Fontik to perform a woman's job in the bedroom, she tried to say that she realised she needed to grow some ovaries and stop throwing tantrums.

Worse than Britney Spears!



Dropped Something? (Let's Hope it's the Soap!)

Birdie was already mass-producing drawings of her filling Fontik's labyrinth but she wanted to go the extra mile. She created a Birdie x Fontik comic called I Dropped My Tortilla, which featured her delivering glorious raep. Except it wasn't that glorious because she only managed oral.

  • OMNOMNOM DEMON MONSTER THING PUSSY
  • Details lifted out for blind cocksuckers.
  • What Fontik should've done long ago.
  • She can't even surprise sex right.
  • The cover. The whole thing comes free with her autobiography!

It turned out this wasn't even the worst of it. Some cowfucker called 'Garbage' tried performing a dumb experiment hoping that they'd drag even more sick shit out of her and see just how far she'd go while totally trying to wrap up the end of the story with a moral message to excuse themselves.

The results: she loved all of it and was begging for more, meaning that Garbage had only made the entire thing even worse. However, after they too got angry with her, they managed to reveal even more of Sophia's fanfiction for everyone else to kek at.



Neither T.I.T.S. Nor GTFO

File:Faketranny.png
Retarded at even being retarded.

When none of her tricks to get Fontik to bone her worked, Sophia decided to copy Pinocchio as well as every other girl on DA and become a real boy simply because Fontik remained straight (and was in fact coming out the other end of her own tranny phase) and she thought she could fuck Fontik before Stix would. First, Sophia threw out her 'girly' toys and began wearing shorts instead of skirts (truly the essence of being a man). She also changed her fursona into a fucking demon goat of all things to further Muhammad's delight before switching pronouns and then tried making her own binder when she wasn't dicing her arm.

Planning a trip to Thailand? About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



Sophia Fails at Basic Online Security (AGAIN!)

File:Birdie-passwoo.png
She should've noted the Jewish hand-rubbing.

As if leaking her home address wasn't dumb enough, she had briefly become friends with Fontik once more and they decided to swap DA passwords. Minor shitposting went on and shit was fine. However, she shared her G+ account with Fontik thinking that the same would come of it. Things went fine again until...

In short, Fontik gave Stix access to the account and the mad cunts renamed the account from 'niggly wiggly' to 'niggly devito', replaced Sophia's private G+ collections with images of some unfunny wop and defaced the page. Geeeeeet fucked.

Stix-ing A Dick In It

Around November, Sophia thought it was a good idea to make another damage control video.

This shit. Again.

File:Spritecranbirdie.png
Like with all raeps, she ended up enjoying it.

The truth was that a gradually-weakening friendship between Birdie, Stix, some other dyke called 'Capslock' and many more bags of hormones (but not Fontik) had persisted. That ended swiftly when the world's fattest cumbucket began to vent all over again and no-one gave a fuck, signalling the start of many of her former fangirls getting disillusioned and plotting against her (though a few would prove to still kiss her ass). She threatened to slice herself and someone told her to STFU - which she did only after scuttling off and throwing a hissy fit. But again, Stix wasn't done. She correctly guessed Sophia's DA password and brought Caps along with her to spray some Sprite Cranberry related shit all over her page. Many kids referred to this as the 'hacking drama' because they don't use Linux.

Keeping up tradition, Sophia went apeshit.

SPOILER ALERT! SHE DOES CARE!

Unfortunately none of this was able to get Sophia to really fuck off. Even a Discord server raid from Stix and Caps couldn't do the trick, nor did some stupid petition that Stix began. The new dyke duo in town got together with Fontik, with the latter creating a Google Drive folder dedicated to the shit she faced for the last year and half and the former two spreading news on YouTube and starting another flame war to get her to fuck off.

Sanity? Overrated!

For her next trick, Sophia pulled some more headmates out of her ass and got extra pity points for it.

Just waiting to be Rule 34-ed - at least she's on the perfect site for it.



A Way Out

Of course, since she was up against a bunch of other worthless girls whose strength broke down like their womb linings, she got what she wanted. Fontik tried to use herself as leverage for Sophia to get a life but Stix and Caps knew what was happening and cut ties with her, with Stix bitching about how long the spastic tango was lasting (almost two years by this time). Deserted, Fontik contracted Stockholm syndrome and began dating Birdie once more using an alt account after drowning her woes. Sophia could've turned her fail into a huge win and had a shot at bagging herself her favorite human bodypillow.

Fontik found out that Birdie had tried slicing and sewing her name into her arm.

As soon as she knew that Fontik was onto her yet again, Birdie thought it would be a good idea to frame Fontik about some porn that she supposedly drew without her permission while they were hatefucking.

  • Hey, she wanted it! Really!

  • Darth Vader's take.

Fontik managed to do even more damage, though (yet she still didn't do enough). Sophia tried to bait her again and gave her the link to yet another vent channel she made called 'SafePlace'. This time she foresaw the leaks and removed all the videos after around a day, putting up another one to taunt everyone else who found the channel. Unfortunately Fontik had already downloaded the videos and they were leaked as usual. Stix mirrored them on a shitpost channel.

ROFL SHE'S GONNA DO A DOGEDUST



Swapping Oranges for Tangerines

After the framing failed miserably, Fontik took another dive into the hurricane and gave her yet another dose of cold hard reality.

Birdie revived her dormant 'SophiaLuigi7' Fontik fangirl account, scrubbed all the old videos and started posting again - except it was actually Fontik posting the videos because Sophia had given her access to the account to try and bait her. Then Sophia pulled out yet another voice that she had started making up at the start of January and even made a fursona for it. To no-one's surprise, this new persona looked almost exactly like one of Fontik's old drawings of herself. Worse still, just like Churro, it became her new 'girlfriend'.

At the same time she began spreading shit about Fontik's unusual methods of trolling, projecting her obsession onto Fontik in a totally unprecedented move and then staging a Chris Crocker for herself.

  • She is what she'll always have: a pussy.
  • Another day at the box office. Grab your popcorn.
  • How could she forget that 'no' always means 'yes'?
  • Another sequel out in a matter of days. Still not as explosive as a Michael Bay film.
  • SHE'S A HUMAN! (Well, not quite.)

  • Guess where the inspiration came from.



Approaching the Deadline

Sophia had finally wised up to Fontik and had now rendered her efforts to get even more shit out of her a complete failure, profiting in almost the same way as Chris-chan himself only with a growing army of unironic fangirls competing for her vaginal fluids. Fontik began screeching and used several alts on Discord to get to Birdie, but she had blocked all of her accounts. After Caps sent her mother an email, Fontik didn't stop wailing and leaked one of her own vent accounts to demonstrate just how much of a loser she was, breaking the trust of many of her supporters and throwing even more ammo to Sophia's army. After hearing about this freakout, Stix cut herself and Caps went for her own neck (not just because the cycle was happening again but because she was a failure in general). Many other onlookers were screaming because they were also a bunch of weak motherfuckers who pretended they were shocked because they thought they had nothing better to do. As for Sophia herself, she was still planning to carry out what she should've done a long time ago.

Again, DO IT FAGGOT.

If it's just about Fontik, why would she not just include orange but also yellow, purple and blue - respectively the colors used to represent herself, Stix and Riggs?

Unsurprisingly, Sophia called off her suicide and instead went on the apology train.



The Fallout

Birdie's relevance and her attention-seeking would be absolutely fucking nothing if it wasn't for her place among the swarms of fucktards whom she swims among. Without them all of this would be typical shit that no-one cares about.



The Supporting Cast

If by now you don't know about the other main players in Birdie's uninteresting saga, lucky you! Here's a rundown of the lot, all of whom are SNCA and therefore don't need an entire article about them (just yet, since some of them could set off a whole new lollercoaster).

  • Fontik/RibChills/Himeguts is to Sophia what a healthy social life is to you. Just like the way in which many loners secretly envy normality whether they love it or hate it, she's always wanted to grab Fontik's pussy despite sometimes also wanting to string her up. As a person, Fontik is weak and masturbates to terrible artists like Sleepykinq but has often used her influence over Sophia to create and spread massive lulz.
  • DogeDust/StixDust/SecretSini is a slightly stronger aspie and much lulzier troll than Fontik, but as far as Birdie is concerned she's still trying to steal Fontik from her. Even when she says she wants out of the drama, she will still gossip and shitpost about Sophia, even going as far as doing a more accurate job with her 'memory' characters. When she's not being a troll or drawing porn, she's sticking her e-dick in a toaster and venting about how terrible she is. No-one cares.
She's totally not obsessed with this boring crap. Trust me.
  • Chaotic Blue/Toxikai/Riggs is a wannabe skiddie leader who has a long past of causing freakouts among the hive of diseased teenage girls. If he's not screeching about cars, ERPing with jailbait or acting like a lost EDiot on G+, he's organising schemes which he promises will DESTROY THE COMMUNITY AND GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED. All of his tricks are aborted sooner or later. This particular chad has been hovering around Sophia since 2016 was on its deathbed.
  • CAPSLOCK/Caps is some bitch who once whiteknighted a lot for Birdie as a friend and then dated Stix afterwards. Not interesting at all.
  • Maddie/Goku is the virgin loner who got nude calls from Sophia almost every day for two months through basic bitch manipulation. Her friends supposedly chased him off, but he has been slightly close by since then.



The Fetus Army

The Birdie Fan Theme Song.

A quick look through Sophia's G+ and DA profiles let alone the wider internet will reveal plenty of children offering up their Discord usernames and pastel-colored genitals to their queen, defending her and making terrible 'art' for her. What's more, because of Sophia's influence among the hordes of other girls, many end up copying her mental illnesses and many of her other features!

Open the floodgates! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Before the planned February suicide, some DA whiteknights became especially vicious. One tough Sonicfag in particular (Nakkurussu) found the shitstorm around Birdie after making a group to fight such injustice. He got tired but came back quickly.



Honourable Mention: Gencive

None of the above came close to a tween called Gencive/Sicily that Hime discovered on some unimportant boring 'art' site. She runs three accounts there and wants to fondle Birdie, Hime, Stix and several other whores.



IT WUZ A BURDEE FEOWEEEEEEEEE

Search 'Birdie rants' on JewTube you lazy faggots. It speaks for itself: every fucking Jew shit with a microphone and a fursona wants to weigh in on this Jabba the Hut double's (lack of a) life. Very few of them manage to even carry out a philosopher attack no matter how hard they try.

What they say. What they mean.
Don't harass Birdie! FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
She's only 14, she'll learn. I mean, look at me! I turned out fine!
Stop feeding her with attention. Give me the fucking views instead, bitch.
Birdie is horrible and should die. Ignore my fat ass.
She made this community horrible! I don't bother to get off my ass and lurk.
Making an ED article is taking it too far you troll shits. I am what's between my thighs and I'm on my period.
She's not far off from everyone else here. I really had nothing better to say.

Of course, one could simply replace 'Birdie' with any other child furry and the effect would be exactly the fucking same to literally no-one's surprise. However, many of the ranters do seem shocked that things like this happen and even make videos about the rants themselves.

  • Case study: niggers with bird flu.



  • Fanservice

    In case you still thought she wasn't aware.

    Sophia hasn't been entirely unaware of the drunken masses and for a time seemed to want to be rid of her haters and her fangirls alike - besides those fangirls whom she keeps in her increasingly-clandestine Discord server.

    Of course, when she's met with the reality of the community she's in, she doesn't seem so diplomatic. Her reactions to her own fangirls reek of iron more than her menstrual blood does. One particularly lulzy example of this was when she dissed one of the biggest of these former fangirls (some boring 'animator' called Allison) who had gone nuts over her and even made a bootleg Polly in her vents. Some, like Allison, only saw the light of His Jurassicness after the flame wars of December 2018.

    • Movie Night! Once More!

    • A Sincere Thanks.

    Another example is her hypocritical reaction to yet another mulatto shit who used her character in a useless fanfic where his main character dated Polly despite it being one month after the newest Mystery x Polly image at the time!



    Her Biggest Whiteknight

    ...happens to be her stepfather himself, Robert.

    While Robert was right about everyone being a sensitive prick, he only proved that he was sucking his stepdaughter's inflamed labia and didn't want to parent his kid the right way. Though he loves to point out that everyone else's kid isn't schooled, guess who didn't get much of an education herself.



    Failtrolls

    Explosive drama among children is nothing new, nor is fake news. While Stix got troll's remorse and Toxikai also eventually pussied out, many n00b trolls couldn't even capitalise on this lolcow's spiraling notoriety and didn't manage to inflict massive butthurt.

    • 'AnonSatan' posed as Sophia on DA and G+, releasing a bunch of drawings in late 2018. It caused a brief and small surge of lulz but they got found out.



    Did you know...

    • Stix wasn't the only recipient of her address and her fans have actually sent her dedicated fan packages because 'shes going tHROUGH A HARD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!'? (Shout out to some 13-year-old boy for potentially putting ED into legal danger with regards to doxing minors. Fuck off and lurk.)
    • Despite leaking so much stuff about herself, she hates her details being shared and wants people to stop contacting her parents?
    • Her mother is obsessed with glass cunts?
    • Her shit's now a favourite target for 'minor-attracted people' who post their slop on Paheal and Tumblr?
    • She hates her NSFW character references being shared around? (Scroll down for a large number of them!)



    The Hall of Lame

    No exceptions. About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
    Other Forbidden Material About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


    Will Birdie ever change?

    Obviously not, since mental retardation is classified as the inability to learn.

    Trolling Birdie

    Say hi to Sophia's new cock socket!
    • 'Misgender' her. (No trannies will give a shit because she's faking it anyway.)
    • Find her vent accounts, then download and leak the videos.
    • Keep telling her mother or her sister about all her crap.
    • Make accurate rants on her. There's no excuses now.
    • Be one of her exes (especially Fontik or Stix).
    • Mirror her old videos.
    • Pejoratively label her art as being anime. She hates it because she put effort into it.
    • Update this article but lurk before you do.


    Trolling Birdie's fans

    • 'Misgender' her (they hate it too!).
    • Tell them they'll never feel her clit in their pussyholes.
    • Email their parents about their new friend.
    • Bring them here and watch their heads explode.
    • Get them to read some fanfiction. If they cum, call 'em out and watch them drown in angry 10-year-olds.
    • Get them to watch some of Stix's shitposts.


    See also

    External links

    Her accounts

    spritecranbirdie - main account, formerly 'SansBirdie'
    skullchills - an account she used for stalking Fontik
    LUCIFUR - main channel, formerly Birdie and was originally known as 'strawbirrix'. Recently went Thanos on all her videos.
    7 - Formally known as SophiaLuigi7. Used for copying Fontik's old art style and for Fontik-related vents. Was recently scrubbed.
    churro the ferret - alt account
    hisguts - vent channel, everything BAWWWWLEETED
    RibCage - vent channel
    SafePlace - vent channel, almost everything BAWWWWLEETED
    undini the jellifoosh undyne's wife and girlfriend - shitpost and vlog channel
    psycho!birdie - shitpost channel
    chicken brent does not approve - shitpost channel

    • Main Google+ Make sure to hurry up to archive it as it is gone on April 2nd 2019.

    Other shit

    A Google Drive folder containing images and videos about her shit
    A Jumpshare page with stuff from Chicken Brent times An entire channel made by Allison to document some of the more recent shit.

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    Featured article January 31, 2019
    Preceded by
    Joe Kennedy
    Birdie Succeeded by
    OJ Simpson