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LordZedd16
LordZedd16, or Mark Christopher Charles Miller, is a batshit insane nearly-homeless manchild who uploads most of his videos from a Burger King in Los Angeles. In the tradition of rootbrian, he likes to record videos of every fleeting thought he ever has, believing that somebody cares. Zedd is also an accomplished author, and when he isn't busy panhandling for change on freeway offramps, he likes to work on his epic blockbuster screenplay, WARLOCK'S MAGIC. With the SSI checks he gets every month, Zedd also likes to stalk Miley Cyrus, and several other underage Disney tween idols, including, but not limited to, Emily Osment, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato. But you can understand...
Zedd likes to rationalize his pedophilic stalking by claiming that Miley Cyrus "saved his life" with her incredible wisdom, and that he just wants to repay her for her kindness. He swears that his obsession with Miley isn't a sexual one, it's just that he really likes her music, because 38 year old men everywhere can identify with the life lessons taught in Hannah Montana.
—LordZedd16 | ||
Not only do your tax dollars pay for LordZedd to stalk underage girls, but they also fuel his extensive Yu-Gi-Oh collection. In this video he puts the smackdown on you and shows you he's no stranger to card dueling. You can also see his Moto-board one-piece plastic skateboard from 1975 off in the corner. Take careful note when the camera zooms around to Zedd himself, and you can observe that this nigger has more fanny-packs than Batman's utility belt. You can even check out his entire YuGiOh collection.
Loli Wanted: Please Inquire Within
Although the focus of Zedd's passion is mainly on Miley Cyrus, he actually has several celebrity prostatots that he would be more than willing to settle for. In addition to Miley, Zedd is also actively stalking Emily Osment, Selena Gomez, and to a lesser extent, Emily Dechanel. Zedd's dick goes limp at the thought of Emily though, since she's the only one in the group that's of legal age. Zedd likes to subscribe/follow/friend these girls on their various social networking profiles, and sends them all countless messages about all the exciting new characters he's created for them in his screenplays.
—LordZedd16 | ||
WARLOCK'S MAGIC
Despite Zedd's mentioning of WARLOCK'S MAGIC well over 9000 times, it's still not exactly clear what the fuck this WARLOCK'S MAGIC shit even is. Zedd has created a website to tell you all about it. Sometimes it's a screenplay, sometimes it's an anime series, sometimes it's a convenient excuse for Zedd to stalk underage celebrities and tell them all about the characters he has planned for them.
Although Zedd's life's work WARLOCK'S MAGIC is nowhere near completion, he's still actively trying to cast various celebrities in the roles that he's created for them. He has a number of confirmed commitments from celebrities to play these roles, while the rest of the slots remain vacant. By "confirmed commitments" he means he sent messages to their myspaces asking them to be in his EPIC LIVE ACTION ANIME, and they said something other than "no".
A Rare Breed
It's unclear at this point just how many mental problems LordZedd actually possesses in total, but what is clear, is that he has a very bizarre combination of low self-esteem and unwarranted self-importance. As we saw his weepy vlogs earlier crying about not being good enough, now here we find the other side of LordZedd, Johnny Confident. Despite his lack of any kind of success in any area of his life, at one point he was so sure he was going to be a big star that he even took the time to write his own IMDB entry:
—LordZedd3 | ||
Based on his newly written stardom, that he himself authored, he then proceeded to play big shot and name-drop himself on several other websites. Talking about himself as if he were a big star, he essentially said "line up bitches, come get you some of this", and created his own "Women who want to have fun sex with Christopher" fan club on AdultSpace.com. Zedd has yet to either confirm or deny if he received any actual sex from his self created fan club, but the presence of Yu-Gi-Oh cards in his current residence suggests that no sex was ever obtained, ever.
—Horny_Christopher | ||
Trolling Zedd
Due to his obvious multitude of mental ailments, Zedd is quite easily trolled. He will cry over spilt milk at the drop of a hat, and threaten you with his "connections". You should proceed with extreme caution though, Zedd is a Grand Wizard in WARLOCKS MAGIC, and will summarily fuck your shit up. And if he can't fuck your shit up, he'll have one of his many online friends do it, including his YouTube friend, the "police guy". The video can be viewed here.
—from the sidebar of his original video | ||
—LordZedd16, talking about one of his clones | ||
Holy Shit
The most notable thing about LordZedd isn't his creepy demeanor, it isn't his loli stalking, it isn't his bizarre self-loathing and delusions of grandeur, it isn't his extreme sensitivity to trolling, nor is it his awkward attraction to Burger Kings. No, what is most notable about LordZedd, is that on top of all these other fine qualities, he also happens to be a fucking priest. Not just any priest, but a priest in the Byzantine Catholic Church, and he's descended from a long line of priests in that same faith. E-detectives are currently looking for any choir girls that may have been accosted by LordZedd. Yeah. Just when you thought it couldn't get any creepier...
UPDATE: Zedd is now claiming that he isn't actually a priest, that he was just a receptionist, and that they made him wear the priests uniform. This appears to be bullshit since his entire family are also priests, and on Google Maps, a red marker shows up on his house called "Byzantine Catholic Church, Inc."
LordZedd16 Responds to the Haters
Since hearing about the recent uncoverings in this article, LordZedd has made some official statements on the matter.
—LordZedd16 | ||
—LordZedd16 | ||
Of course, to view these videos, you will have to be a friend of his.
- Fuck all you trolls
- Another poster of me
- I never wanted any kind of fame
- I know what I am and what I'm not
Hacked
LordZedd16 had recently reported getting a "virus that said it was an antivirus". He stated that not even McAfee could rid his machine of this malware. No sooner did he mention this then his main YouTube account got hacked forcing him to vlog from his backup account, christophermiller37. Once the main account was grabbed, it was immediately re-decorated for him, and all 180 blocked users were immediately unblocked. LordZedd is still currently holed up in his backup account.
HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!111
Just as it looked like the LordZedd16 story was dwindling into obscurity, a new player came onto the scene to revive the drama, jakesladder1. Apparently jakesladder1 and LordZedd16 are old e-friends, and currently post on some unknown little forum called Allied Forces. When jakesladder1 heard about the troubles that LordZedd16 was having, he put on his cape and mask and came to YouTube to do battle. He told fantastic and amazing stories of all his incredible internet wars, and of all the people he had slain.
—jakesladder1 | ||
At first his shit posts went relatively unnoticed, until he began issuing ultimatums, and telling people they needed to close their accounts or suffer his wrath. As he made the rounds on YouTube, his tales grew taller and taller, and he suggested that people look into his heroic exploits.
—jakesladder1 | ||
Unfortunately for Ian, people took his advice, and began checking it out for themselves. Soon after that his myspace and photobucket were found, and just as people had suspected, he turned out to be completely full of shit. Instead of the valiant hero that he portrayed himself as, what they actually found was another middle-aged manchild with an unhealthy penchant for teenage girls. Surprise surprise. Since he's now privated it in shame, here's a few of the pics retrieved from the internet war hero's photobucket:
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hmmm
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elfin cosplay FTW
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Does your wife know you have these Ian?
Not only is Ian a veteran of imaginary forum wars, but he's also an internet Casanova. He claims that he's e-dating a "model" by the name of "Jennifer". "Jennifer" is supposedly American, and runs the account myusernameisBM. The only problem is, "Jennifer" posted this on Ian's YouTube comments using what can clearly be described as "The Queen's English".
Since Ian is British, we can only assume that Ian is, in fact, e-dating his own sockpuppet, and forgot to spell like an American that day. An inspection of the forum they all post on, "Allied Forces", revealed another post where Ian forgot which account he was on, again, and posted a response to a question about American buses.
—Ian Watson, forgetting he's not "American" on this account | ||
As Ian takes everything in, he's still trying to assess just how much he's been compromised.
—jakesladder1 | ||
—jakesladder1, serious fucking business | ||
—Ian Watson, internet killer | ||
Ian then returned to the Fortress of Solitude back at Allied forces, and began licking his wounds, vowing to avenge this great justice. YouTube is still awaiting his valiant return, hoping that he'll bring another rich bounty of lulzy claims and internet tough guy death threats. And just as people were beginning to forget about LordZedd16, Ian has ironically brought the attention back to his friend, the exact opposite of what his intentions were. Good job hero, keep up the great work.
UPDATE: Thanks to Ian's heroic efforts, LordZedd16 has now had his back-up account stolen from him too, christophermiller37. LordZedd16 has now created a new account, screenwrtinggenius, to replace his newly stolen one. Nice work Ian.
UPDATE: On 2/20/10 Ian heroically turned tail and fled from YouTube after his work dox were found. He deleted his account, and put the Allied Forces forum on lockdown. Just before suiciding Ian left one last epic quote to be remembered by.
— | ||
UPDATE: On 2/28/10 Ian re-opened his account after having a long talk with his boss telling him about the statements he's made about eating out 14 year old girls, and that someone from the internet might possibly send it to him. lol
UPDATE: On 3/1/10 Ian closed his account again after his boss received the email about Ian wanting to eat out 14 year old girls.
Links
Accounts
- 1971chrismiller
- LordZedd16
- christophermiller37
- SuperLordZedd
christopher_miller- screenwriting_genius
Chris_actor- christopher1971
- warlocksmagic
- Fubar.com
- Yahoo Answers
- AdultSpace.com
Autobiographies
Websites
- WARLOCK'S MAGIC
- Chimera the Movie
- Lord Zedd's Home Page
- LordZedd and his brother Voltron screenplay writers for hire - With dox
- LordZedd and his family of priests
Emails
Related
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| LordZedd16 is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
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Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
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