- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Burger King
The /b/urger King is a deranged psychopath with a plastic face who runs around hell bent on terrorizing the Burger populace. It is speculated that he took control of the Burger underground by viciously murdering long-time crime boss The Hamburglar with nothing but a spork and a smile. Meat got BBQ´d, not fried - hence the saying "get toasted". He made him eat his own fucking head while his wife watched, sobbing, who then proceeded to help broil the King's meat at the local BK. The video can still be seen for $3.95 if you order a #19 off the bitchin' value menu. That's fuckin' cold blooded seven fourteen. They should charge at least $9.99 for that kind of shit. It's worth it. He's so fucking hardcore the fags at EA decided to give him a spot in one of their Fight Night games, where he gets to beat niggers up. SHIT IS SO FUCKING CASH.
About The King
He is known for shouting his catchphrase at the top of his Burger lungs in order to scare all of the little Burger children in the little Burger villages. The words that seem to echo into the night are "Where is your God now?" It is rumored that the Burger King is a Power Bottom, Illogicopedia's all about the motherfuckin' Clam, and don't you fucking forget it!! His favorite pastime is sneaking into other men's hotel rooms at night and penetrating them in their sleep.
Perhaps out of fear, the restaurants named after Burger King are over 9,000 times cleaner than your average McDonald's. Burger King burgers are better than McDonald's burgers, because that's how Burger King likes it, and nobody's going to go toe-to-toe with Burger King. Karl Rove is a possible exception, but this has not yet been tested. He is in a current power struggle against Ronald McDonald with mass casualties. Those who are unlucky to get caught between the two are never seen again.
Theme song
We're making... a killing... inside the Burger King
When you step inside the doorway, we start the murdering
We'll bash you, we'll hack you, we'll grind you up for meat
Don't tell us it's immoral, it's what you came to eat
It's best to use the drive thru, it's faster and it's safe
And these fresh char-broiled burgers are the best you ever ate!
The King delivers
The King's run for the Presidency
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
-
The King WILL rape you while you sleep.
-
Oh God, DESU eyes!
-
Who wants a mustache ride??
-
Dinner is served.
-
As you can see here Charlemagne, Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire, looks very similar to B.K. Obviously, the Holy Roman Kaiser is a fucking copier of B.K.
-
The King training simulation.
-
Burger KIKE
-
An Israeli BK store actually offered greasy sex toys for adults on Valentines Day, 2017.
-
This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King
See also
- Diabeetus
- Fast food
- Fatty
- Foot Lettuce
- KFC
- McDonald's
- Pizza
- Ryan Brewer
- SEAKING
- Subservient Chicken
- Where is your X now?
- White Castle
External links
Burger King is part of a series on Television. | [Shine spotlight] |
|
Batman • Bear Grylls • Bill O'Reilly • Billy Mays • Bob Ross • Brittany Murphy • Bruce Campbell • Charlie Sheen • Christopher Reeve • Christopher Walken • Dakota Fanning • Dennis Hopper • Doctor Phil • Elmo • Gary Busey • Gary Coleman • Glenn Beck • Heath Ledger • Hulk Hogan • Jared Fogle • Jerry Springer • Jimmy Savile • Jodie Foster • Joe Blackburn • John Travolta • Jonathan Kendrick Lewis • Joss Whedon • Justin Dabrow • Kathy Griffin • Kevin Smith • Kramer • Lauren Faust • Lindsay Lohan • Louis CK • Mark Wahlberg • Max Headroom • Mel Gibson • Michael Moore • Mr. T• Neil Patrick Harris • Olsen Twins • Oprah Winfrey • Orson Welles • Patrick Stewart • Paul Feig • Paul Walker • Pennywise • Quentin Tarantino • R. Lee Ermey • Rick Sanchez • Ricky Gervais • Robin Williams • Roger Ebert • Roman Polanski • Rosie O'Donnell • Sacha Baron Cohen • Seth MacFarlane • Stephen Fry • Steve Buscemi • Superman • Tara Strong • The King • Tom Cruise • Tom Green • Toshiro Mifune • Uwe Boll • Wendy Burch • Will Smith • Wonder Woman
|
Companies |
AdFly • Adobe • Amazon • Apple • AT&T • BDIC • Bell • Bitcoin • Burger King • Celestial Toystore • Comcast • Costco • Disney • DuckDuckGo • eBay • Ethereum • Fox News • GNWT • Google • Happy Madison Productions • IBM • IKEA • Microsoft • McDonald's • MTV • New Media Rockstars • Nintendo • Novell • Oracle Corporation • Patreon • PayPal • Sony • Sun Microsystems • T-Mobile • Verizon • Viacom • Wal-Mart • Wikia • Yahoo • YouTube | |
---|---|---|
People |
Bernie Madoff • Bill Gates • Chad Hurley • Gregory Kohs • Hal Turner • Jews • Jimbo Wales • Klaus Schwab • L. Ron Jeremy • Larry Sanger • Lyor Cohen • Mario Laudicina • Martin Shkreli • Steve Chen • Steve Jobs | |
Ideology / Politics |
Austerity • Bailout Plan • Capitalism • Communism • Globalisation • Government • Gun control • Health Care Rage • Iceslave • Judaism • Karl Marx • Obamacare • Ron Paul • Ayn Rand • Randroid • Socialist • Ronald Reagan • Welfare • Zeitgeist Movement • Zeitgeist - The Movie | |
Selling |
Advertising • Bitcoin • Bribery • Extreme Advertising • Billy Mays • Porn Advertisements • Shamwow • Spam • Subservient Chicken • Winnebago Man • George Zimmer | |
Topics |
419 Nigerian Email Scams • The Dot.Com Bubble • Economist • Economy • Foreign Girlfriend • Internet money • Jew Gold • Money • NFTs • Poor • Profit • Rape dollars • Scientology • Toilet Paper Hoarding • Unlimited disposable income |
Burger King is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |