- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Coolest Monkey in the Jungle
Coolest Monkey in the Jungle (Powerword: Liam Mango) is a 5-year-old Kenyan child model living in Stockholm, Sweden, whose family became the latest victim of angry white libturds, SJW feminazis, Rachel Dolezal and the entire black population of South Africa after he modeled a kewl green hoodie with the text "Coolest Monkey in the Jungle" for H&M clothing's online store in January of 2018.
Believing that black people look like monkeys, the usual upper-middle-class white liberal millennials in the social justice realm immediately realized that the hoodie was highly problematic and began bitching at H&M with their usual unintelligible babble about "racism" that didn't actually exist. Wanting to avoid being brutally lynched like a nigger in the 1800s, H&M quickly caved into the demands of the social justice terrorists and removed the hoodie and the ad for it from their site. Unfortunately, when word finally reached South Africa via dial-up several days later, the local H&M store became the site for an epic reenactment of Planet of the Apes that featured less monkeys and more black people.
Unfortunately for liberal whitey, a strong woman of colour would soon stand up to inform them that they are all fucking retarded. Enter Terry Mango, the mother of Liam Mango and the most uncucked and redpilled person in all of Sweden. Terry informed the buttmad SJW crybabies of the internet that she had let her son model the hoodie and that black children are allowed to like monkeys just like white children are allowed to like never getting laid, shooting up their school and getting owned by a little old lady with a fucking couch.
As you'd probably expect in THE CURRENT YEAR, this led to Terry being attacked by utterly retarded lefty crackers who believe that the best way to bring about racial equality for blacks is to harass a black woman for being a white-supremacy-enabling Aunt Jemima who disagrees with the holy wisdom of the almighty hivemind. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
The Hurtest Butts in The Western World
—DanielShalomJNR, not knowing what George Soros wants him to do (archive) |
You Are (Not) Alone
Dolezal'd
Shithole South Africa Responds
Several days after the initial shitstorm, South Africa finally managed to connect to the internet via their shitty 56k modem and learned about the Coolest Monkey in the Jungle hoodie that was being sold by H&M. Enraged by this, black South Africans decided to take a rare break from their daily routine of brutally murdering white farmers and began vandalizing their local H&M clothing stores – and yes, we were also surprised to learn that they actually have clothing stores in Africa.
Following the vandalism, the angry gorillamen told H&M to either shut down their stores or face more acts of domestic terrorism from the local savages. Way to prove that blacks aren't apes, you fucking retards!
See Also
Coolest Monkey in the Jungle is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
Coolest Monkey in the Jungle is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |