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[[File:Authentic 19th-century golliwogg.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with black person]]]]
[[File:Authentic 19th-century golliwogg.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with black person]]]]
A '''Golliwogg''' (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]], [[Pokemon|Jynx]] and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]) is a popular children's character and [[doll]] that was created by '''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]''' in [[At least 100 years ago|1894]] and originally appeared in her book, '''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'''. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. As of [[2018]], having a Golliwogg in the [[UK]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate]] [[crime]].
A '''Golliwogg''' TEST (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]], [[Pokemon|Jynx]] and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]) is a popular children's character and [[doll]] that was created by '''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]''' in [[At least 100 years ago|1894]] and originally appeared in her book, '''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'''. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. As of [[2018]], having a Golliwogg in the [[UK]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate]] [[crime]].
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[Not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[Not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
Revision as of 01:22, 19 April 2018
This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, HOLY SHIT ooga booga!!!1
A Golliwogg TEST (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. Mr. Popo, Jynx and Imperfect Cell) is a popular children's character and doll that was created by Florence Kate Upton in 1894 and originally appeared in her book, The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a nigger with a face that was meticulously drawn by Akira Toriyama. As of 2018, having a Golliwogg in the UK can get you arrested and charged with a hatecrime.
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until a decade or two ago, it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is outrageous that "Golly" has been censored, and insist that there is nothing wrong with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
Secondly, Britain's police forces are infamous for their racism and dislike of black person, and so they are always on the lookout for easily-solved "crimes" that have a whiff of racism. The police think it makes good PR to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.
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