Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill was an epic oldfag who lived before the internets. He pwned Adolf Hitler and won World War II with Stalin while smoking Sigmund Freud.

Winston Churchill's status as a legend is cemented by the fact that he did the above pwning whilst drunk on whiskey and with mental health problems. He was also fond of nibbling upon cocaine lozenges in order to steel himself for public appearances. Srsly. He also got rich off The Boer War, escaping prisoner camps, etc. However, he also was a great user of Tommy Guns and Mauser Automatics. Had it not been for Churchill, the Nazis would have gang raped Britan with ease, and then moved on to America and Soviet Russia for sloppy seconds. The Americunts often boast about how they won WW2, but really they're just fags.

The common misconception of Hitler having only one testicle actually started when Churchill taped his bollocks together as a practical joke. This was thought to be one of the causes of the Second World War.

He also is claimed to have punched a chamber maid to death over a claim that he was drunk. He stated afterwards "Bitch was outta the kitchen, telling me I was pissed. Me and my homeboy just did what was best."

Facts

Churchill is informed that Hitler has invaded Poland.

Trolled 'til the grave

He possessed a cat before dying, and was run over by a truck four years after possessing the cat. His owner, though, brought him back to life by burying him in a pet cemetery, when he was killed by his owner by stabbing because he was unusual. Winston Churchill was also born in the toilet of a women's club, after his mom had sex for the lulz, and put off having an abortion for even more lulz.

He bought a parrot in the 1920s, which outlived him by over 9000 years. srsly.

On May 3rd, 1943, Winston Churchill was accused of keeping children in his house and beating, raping and stabbing them, but even worse, he was accused of shitting on an English flag. If this wasn't bad enough, he used his kidnapped children to make human centipedes. He was resurrected on May 3rd, 2003. The Portuguese police are now holding him as an official suspect. Almost 100% of expert criminologists now believe that he has Maddie in his basement, though they have not determined whether she's be alive or dead. He also invented the light bulb.

Winston Churchill was almost the 100m get, being 99999999, but, he is now officially the proprietor of the 170m get. Thus so, he has officially become a meme.

It is believed that Winston Churchill is immune to newfaggotry.

Winston Churchill is part of a series on Politics.

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