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Golliwogg: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Authentic 19th-century golliwogg.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with black person]]]] | [[File:Authentic 19th-century golliwogg.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Make your kids afraid to sleep with black person]]]] | ||
A '''Golliwogg''' | A '''Golliwogg''' (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]], [[Pokemon|Jynx]] and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|Imperfect Cell]]) is a popular children's character and [[doll]] that was created by '''[[Kate Upton|Florence Kate Upton]]''' in [[At least 100 years ago|1894]] and originally appeared in her book, '''The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg'''. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a [[nigger]] with a face that was meticulously drawn by [[Dragon Ball Z|Akira Toriyama]]. As of [[2018]], having a Golliwogg in the [[UK]] can get you [[arrested]] and charged with a [[hate]] [[crime]]. | ||
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[Not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form. | There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until [[100 years ago|a decade or two ago,]] it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive [[Plastic crap|a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button]] to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is [[WTF|outrageous]] that "Golly" has been [[Censorship|censored,]] and insist that there is [[Not racist|nothing wrong]] with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form. |
Revision as of 01:22, 19 April 2018
A Golliwogg (also spelt "Golliwog" and a.k.a. Mr. Popo, Jynx and Imperfect Cell) is a popular children's character and doll that was created by Florence Kate Upton in 1894 and originally appeared in her book, The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls and a Golliwogg. The Golliwogg is basically a rag doll and less smelly version of a nigger with a face that was meticulously drawn by Akira Toriyama. As of 2018, having a Golliwogg in the UK can get you arrested and charged with a hate crime.
There are two reasons for this bizarre and very British controversy. Firstly, Britain's most popular jam ("jelly," in American) is manufactured by a fine old British company, so fine and old that until a decade or two ago, it had a golliwogg as its mascot on every jar sold. Kids could snip the "Golly" tokens off the jar-labels, save them up, and send off to receive a highly-collectable "Golly" enamel button to wear. Now the country is full of cranky bastards of middle-age and above who think it is outrageous that "Golly" has been censored, and insist that there is nothing wrong with golliwoggs in any way, shape, or form.
Secondly, Britain's police forces are infamous for their racism and dislike of black person, and so they are always on the lookout for easily-solved "crimes" that have a whiff of racism. The police think it makes good PR to pacify all the permanently-complaining black person and it also helps the annual crime prevention statistics.
Honestly, that's all there is to it: Silly old-fashioned loudmouths who won't shut up about the good old days, and lazy cops who know how to score easy points by harassing them. Niggers probably have views on this controversy, but frankly so what.
Golliwogg martyrs
It is a fact of life that where there are black person, there will be crime. Naturally, this is also true of golliwogs.
- 2018: Elected councillor apologises and resigns after sharing Facebook post to bring back Robertson's jam golliwog mascot (Archived: 1 2)
- 2017: golliwog mascot removed from Liverpool bar after whinging bitch sparks Twitter tsunami (Archived: 1 2)
- 2017: Cumbrian woman complains about shop's golliwogs, owner says "fuck off and bother the police, love" (Archived: 1 2)
- 2016: Welsh post office apologises for sparking Twitter furore due to selling golliwogs (Archived: 1 2)
- 2016: Liverpool thrift store lambasted for putting golliwog in window display (Archived: 1 2)
- 2013: Uppity negress complains to police that local shop's golliwog display reminds her of lynching (Archived: 1 2)
- 2013: local councillor Dawn Barnett (72) disciplined and forced to undergo "diversity training" after expressing golliwog nostalgia (Archived: 1 2)
- 2013: Moira Pickering (62) - told to remove golliwogs from toyshop window by police and threatened with prosecution (Archived: 1 2)
- 2013: Police investigate primary school wall art dating back to 1936 for depicting golliwog (Archived: 1 2)
- 2011: "My golliwogs represent racial tolerance," claims reviled shopkeeper (Archived: 1 2)
- 2011: Le 56 local politician mounts one-man crusade against local shops golliwogs (Archived: 1 2)
- 2011:Jena Mason (65) - charged with racial harassment after displaying golliwog in her window (Archived: 1 2)
- 2008: "They'll pry my golliwogs from my cold, dead, hands" vows Worcestershire shopkeeper (Archived: 1 2)
- 2007: Gavin Alexander (39) - Golliwogs confiscated by police, charges later dropped (Archived: 1 2)
- 2006: Donald Reynolds (53) - Golliwogs confiscated by police (Archived: 1 2)
Galleriwoggs
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Gollivision
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See Also
- Africa - for proof that golliwoggs misrepresent black person
- Knife Control
- NO NIGGERS
- Not racist
- Political Correctness
External links
- "All Things Golliwog" - the planet's one-stop shop for Golly memorabilia and stuff, based in (where else?) Australia
- "Buy Golliwogs" - it's a competitive market
- "Ebay B& my golliwogs!"'
- A UK-based golliwog fan site, not yet closed down by The Thought Police
Golliwog's Cakewalk ringtone
- Harmless amusement guaranteed (Free download; Android and iPhone versions)